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[music playing]
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NARRATOR: The Dick Van Dyke Show.
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Starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
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Matthews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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Hey, hey I got one.
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I got one, you ready?
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Yeah, I'm ready, but is the world ready?
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Who needs em.
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All right, listen to this.
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What happens to ducks that fly upside down?
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They quack up.
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I knew you didn't know it.
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Rob, Allen's is not going to use junk like that on the show.
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Why not?
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He's using junk like you on the show.
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Mel, you going to be able to help us out on this?
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Well I don't know.
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What's this request I got for prisoner costumes?
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We're not doing a prison sketch on the show this week.
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Oh, it's not for the Alan Brady Show, it's for our show.
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- Your show? - Yeah.
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You see, we've been invited to do a benefit.
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And we're trying to put a few things together.
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Do you think we can get the costumes Mel?
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Well, I don't know.
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Alan does a lot of charity work.
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Oh, that's how you got your job.
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Oh, Buddy look what you did.
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what?
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You made Mel punch my papers.
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So?
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So now I got two dozen carbon copies of Mel's fist.
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Mel, can you help us out do you think?
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Well, I don't know.
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I'll do my best.
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Why prison costumes?
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Well, we kind of thought it would
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be appropriate since we're doing a show in prison.
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You're doing a show in prison?
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Yeah, how about that?
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Hundreds of men, and not one of them can get away.
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Mel, while we're up there, maybe we can
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get your hair out of solitary.
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Rob.
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It's true Mel.
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The entertainment director of Granville State Prison
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asked us to come up there and do a show for the men.
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ROB PETRIE:
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Well, I think it's nice that you're doing it for them.
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Can I go along?
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Why give with one hand and take with the other?
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Rob, are you sure you want to use
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prison costumes in a prison--
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in a prison sketch?
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I mean, isn't that a little indelicate?
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No, Lyle says they love prison humor.
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- Who's Lyle? - Oh, Lyle Delp.
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He's the entertainment director up there.
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He's an old friend of mine.
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Oh, the social director.
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No, the social outcast.
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You mean he's a convict?
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Boy, if he ain't, he got the worst
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case in clothes I ever saw.
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You mean you actually know someone who's in prison?
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Yeah, he's quite an old friend of mine.
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Well, how did you ever get to meet him?
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I Mean, was he an old school chum that went wrong?
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Oh no, just somebody that Laura and I met years ago.
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Hey Rob, you mean to say you never told Mel that story?
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Oh, Mel it's a very funny story.
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Don't tell it to him if it's funny.
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He'll never understand it.
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Rob, how did you meet this individual?
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Well, as a matter of fact, when we first met the guy
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he was a hold up man.
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How did you know he was a holdup man?
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He held us up.
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You mean, you actually became friends
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with a man who held you up?
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Yeah, we've been writing to him in prison for years.
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Yeah, he's sort of a pen pal.
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Sorry.
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Listen Mel, kidding aside, we got
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this letter from him a few days ago and he's real cute.
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He really is.
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And you see that number?
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That's not a zip code, that's him.
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It's a wonderful story Mel, if you've got some time.
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Well, I've got plenty of time.
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My desk is clear.
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So is your head.
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Rob, come on.
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Tell him the story of how you met Lyle Delp.
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Well, it all started about a month before Richie was born.
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It was that long ago.
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And I was so afraid that Laura was going to have the baby
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early that every time she had a pain I was
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straight through the ceiling.
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I hardly went so far as to take her downtown
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to the doctor's office.
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It was late in the afternoon, and pouring rain.
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It's just silly coming all the way down here in the rain,
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and at this hour.
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Honey, it's not silly.
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The book said when the pains got regular,
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you got to go see the doctor.
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Yeah, but I don't feel ready.
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I think it's just something I ate.
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It's not something you ate.
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How do you know?
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Because something you ate wouldn't
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give you regular pains.
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The last one was about 15 minutes ago.
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The other one should be due any minute.
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Ah!
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There it is, they're getting closer.
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That was my arm, dear.
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You just hit it with the umbrella.
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Oh honey, I'm sorry.
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- It's all right. - But you know something?
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That shouldn't have hurt that much.
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Have you been drinking your milk?
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No.
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Yes, it's probably a calcium deficiency in there.
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So, let me talk to the doctor about it.
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Rob, did you bring my bag of nuts?
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Yeah, they're in your purse.
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That's something else I've got to mention.
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You've become a salted nut addict.
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I'm not an addict.
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I just have a craving for them, that's all.
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Honey, cravings are supposed to stop
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after the first three months.
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Oh Rob, I just hate to go all the way up there
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and bother the doctor.
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Bother?
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Honey, he expects it.
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My wife, we're expecting a baby.
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Oh.
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Would you let me try that?
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No, I'll get it honey.
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The darn thing--
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There, I got it.
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Here we go dear.
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Oh, good.
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OK.
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Oh, shoot!
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Excuse me.
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Rob!
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Oh, honey!
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Honey, don't panic!
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No, honey you-- I'll wait-- you come--
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My wife's on the elevator.
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Fine.
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Uh, just where are the stairs?
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I've got--
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Why don't you wait till it comes back down?
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Oh, that's a good idea.
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She's-- We're expecting a baby, I'm a little nervous.
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She's got a little calcium deficiency in her arm there.
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Oh.
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I'm sorry I made you miss the elevator.
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That's OK.
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Oh.
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You go ahead.
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Oh.
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Oh honey, you all right?
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Just fine.
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Oh.
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Oh, excuse me.
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Oh.
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Honey, why did you go up like that?
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Why didn't you get on?
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Well, this darn thing wouldn't close.
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You want to press the button darling?
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Oh, yeah.
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What-- Number 5, isn't it?
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Yeah.
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Hold onto your stomach, honey.
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Oh, would you stop?
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I feel fine.
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Why doesn't the door open?
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This is 5, isn't it?
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No, 4 and 1/2.
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Did you press the emergency button by mistake?
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No mistake.
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Oh, what's the matter fella?
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Nothing's the matter.
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This is just a simple little stick up.
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Huh?
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You mean a hold up?
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Hey, you're kidding!
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Does this look like I'm kidding?
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No, look you--
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Hey, hey get back, back, back, back!
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Don't hurt her.
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Don't get dramatic.
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Nobody is going to get hurt.
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Oh, Rob I told you we shouldn't have come.
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Honey, don't be afraid.
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I know his kind.
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What do you mean my kind?
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What kind of crack is that?
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Well, I didn't mean it like you didn't like it.
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I just meant that it's pretty rotten
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to hold up an expectant mother.
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Hey, look Dr. Spock, you weren't my first choice,
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you know.
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Young couples like you aren't exactly the type that have
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money, you know what I mean?
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Remember the first couple that went up?
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They're over 50.
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That's where the money is.
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Well, why didn't you stick them up then?
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Because your umbrella kept me out, that's why!
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Hey listen, in my business you just can't stand
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around waiting for customers.
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Now come on, come on, come on give me your wallet.
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- Rob, do what he says. - All right.
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Hurry up, hurry up, come on.
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You're not going to get away with this.
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I'll get away with it.
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Huh, what's to get away with?
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11 bucks?
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That's all there is.
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And some change.
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Come on lady. Give me yours.
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Look, leave her alone.
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She hasn't got any money.
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Yeah, sure she hasn't.
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Come on, hurry up.
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I'm telling you, she doesn't get
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her allowance till tomorrow.
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Yeah, what do I care about tomorrow?
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Stand back, stand back.
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OK.
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Let's see what you got here.
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Hey, not bad.
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Look at this, 40 bucks!
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What $40 is that?
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It's Millie's.
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She asked me to get Jerry's birthday present for her.
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Boy, that is unfair!
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I mean, Millie isn't even here!
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Millie's lucky.
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She spared all this terror.
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Right Rob!
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You call me Rob like we're old friends or something.
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OK, OK any way you want it Rob.
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Now come on, come on hand over your watches and rings.
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Step it up.
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Come on, come on, come on.
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Boy, you haven't got a chance.
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People know this elevator is stopped.
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I got all the time I need.
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The average person pushes an elevator
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button six or seven minutes before realizing
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it's not working.
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I made a study of this thing you know.
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You mean, you've held up people in elevators before?
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No, I held them up in front of a police station dumdum.
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Now, give me your rings.
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Oh, but these are our wedding rings.
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Come on, give me your rings.
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Hey, hey, hey.
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Watch it, watch it.
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Honey, I'll get you another one.
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I promise.
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I can't get it off.
271
00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:46,492
Oh, it's stuck on there.
272
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:47,827
Her finger's are a little swollen.
273
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:51,464
My luck, I got to stick up a fat lady.
274
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:52,798
Look, you probably don't believe me,
275
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,467
but I really can't get it off.
276
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:55,601
I believe you, I believe you.
277
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,869
My mother had eight kids.
278
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:58,704
Tell her to lay off the salt!
279
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,410
Her feet are a little bit swollen too.
280
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:06,512
I don't want her shoes.
281
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:07,947
Give me yours! Hurry up, come on.
282
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:08,714
My shoes?
283
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,216
No, your ring, your ring!
284
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,118
Boy, I'll remember you.
285
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:12,919
Wonderful.
286
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,854
That's a big thrill for me.
287
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,522
Hey, hey, hey don't get frisky!
288
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:20,126
[inaudible] Don't get frisky buddy.
289
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,061
Hey, is this real gold?
290
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,830
To one love.
291
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:27,366
Hey, that's beautiful.
292
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:29,001
We think it's beautiful.
293
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,236
I think so too.
294
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:31,504
You don't think I spend all my time in an elevator.
295
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:32,805
I lead a life too you know.
296
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,106
Oh, I'll bet you do.
297
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:34,907
Yeah.
298
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:36,242
I had a girl once you know.
299
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:38,511
Made me an ID bracelet while she was in prison.
300
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:39,445
You know what it said?
301
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,413
Wish you were here.
302
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,382
Ah, smart guy.
303
00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:44,884
Oh boy.
304
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,419
Watch that, watch that lady!
305
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,353
That was another one.
306
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:48,521
Another one honey?
307
00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:49,488
Look you--
308
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,723
OK, OK don't get excited!
309
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:51,991
I'll get you out of here.
310
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,626
And listen lady, I'll press the button,
311
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:54,794
we'll go right to the roof, you hear?
312
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,195
And then we'll come right back down.
313
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:58,197
And just hold on.
314
00:09:58,297 --> 00:09:59,198
Nothing happened.
315
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:02,134
We're not moving.
316
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,002
The elevator's stuck.
317
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:07,940
Back-- Hey, we can't be stuck.
318
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:12,144
I got to get out of here.
319
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:14,113
[music playing]
320
00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:16,515
Hey, we're stuck!
321
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,117
We're stuck down here.
322
00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:19,352
Go ahead, go ahead!
323
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,253
You're stuck in an elevator, and with a hold up man,
324
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,521
and Laura's about to give birth.
325
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,123
What happened? - Nothing happened.
326
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:25,391
They're still stuck!
327
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:27,093
The kid was born in the elevator and he named him Otis.
328
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,198
Oh my gosh, it's 3 o'clock.
329
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,233
I promised to check the sketch in the rehearsal hall.
330
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:35,835
No, wait a minute, don't leave me hanging.
331
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:38,404
That's the best way to leave him.
332
00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:39,572
Hey!
333
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:41,340
- Thank you. - Welcome.
334
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,842
Go on Rob, finish the story.
335
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:46,078
Well, anyway there we were banging and yelling away.
336
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:50,249
All the elevators in town, I got to get a looser.
337
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:51,651
Honey, you feel all right?
338
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,152
Yeah, I think so.
339
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:55,287
I'll push the emergency button again.
340
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,455
What do you think I'm doing?
341
00:10:56,555 --> 00:10:57,690
Plugging a dike?
342
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:04,797
Hey lady, sit down, It's no good for you to be standing.
343
00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:06,265
We don't need any advice from you.
344
00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:07,366
You got us into this mess.
345
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:08,601
And if anything happens to her--
346
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:09,735
Hey, is it my fault?
347
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,137
My fault the elevator broke down?
348
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,039
I don't want to harm you, I just want to rob you!
349
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:13,973
Well, you did.
350
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:16,342
So we don't need any of your ideas!
351
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:17,710
Honey, you should sit down.
352
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,445
I'd love to, my feet are killing me.
353
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:21,514
Sit-- Sit on--
354
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,849
What happened to elevators that have those stools that fold
355
00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:25,251
down and people to run them?
356
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,487
What happened to elevators that go up and down?
357
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,189
Honey, look, sit on my coat.
358
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:31,824
Than you dear.
359
00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:36,762
We'll be out of here in no time.
360
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,632
Oh, I feel just like an old cow.
361
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:42,768
Honey, you look beautiful.
362
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,104
Capacity 2,000 pounds.
363
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:50,342
Inspected 1954, Sidney Burns, 1955 Sidney Burns,
364
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:56,215
1956 Sidney Burns, 1957 Wendell Henderson.
365
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:57,917
They should have stuck with Sidney.
366
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:02,455
Let me see that thing.
367
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,556
Yeah, just as I thought.
368
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:06,725
In an emergency, call MU8-8599.
369
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,328
And where am I going to call?
370
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:10,763
I'm going to call then when I get home!
371
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:13,766
Yeah, give them a zing for me too.
372
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:15,000
Hey, hey lady.
373
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:16,735
You don't look very comfortable lady.
374
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:17,770
Take my coat.
375
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,505
No thank you, I don't need it.
376
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:20,506
Go ahead and take it honey.
377
00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:21,574
No, I really don't need it.
378
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:22,575
Yes you do need it.
379
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:23,676
The softer the better honey.
380
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,144
Yeah.
381
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,314
Here now, let's just put it behind you.
382
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,315
What?
383
00:12:33,652 --> 00:12:34,453
What are you--
384
00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:35,488
What are you doing?
385
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,989
I'm covering you with a comb.
386
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:40,493
You held me up with a comb!
387
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,961
That's why you wanted my coat!
388
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:43,762
You wanted my comb!
389
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,364
And I was concerned about her!
390
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:46,398
Oh, Rob!
391
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,574
You mean that you held us up at comb point?
392
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,276
Of course, I never carry a gun.
393
00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:58,210
You get in trouble.
394
00:12:58,310 --> 00:12:59,845
Borrowed one from my brother once
395
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,882
and I almost killed myself.
396
00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:04,917
Look at my big plan and I get a comb.
397
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,152
Look at this human nature.
398
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:09,054
He's upset because I didn't use a gun.
399
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:11,090
You don't even need a comb!
400
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:13,259
You sure know how to hurt a guy Rob.
401
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:17,463
You know something?
402
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:18,898
There's a lot of things you do that upset me.
403
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:20,232
And now that I know you're not armed,
404
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:21,500
I'm going to turn you in when we get downstairs!
405
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,468
Rob, look up there.
406
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:23,402
What?
407
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:24,637
Is it a trick?
408
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,105
Rob, I told you.
409
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:26,939
Oh.
410
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:28,841
In the ceiling, a trap door.
411
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,943
Yeah, yeah a trap door.
412
00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:31,877
Of course a trap door.
413
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,779
Boost me up there.
414
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,714
Hey, wait a minute.
415
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:38,751
You stay here with the wife, I'll go.
416
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:40,052
Oh, no you don't.
417
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,820
You go up there, we'll never see you again.
418
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,322
Boy oh boy.
419
00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:45,357
Do you think I'd leave an expectant mother stuck here?
420
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:47,593
What do you think I am?
421
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:48,894
You know what you are.
422
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:49,962
Oh yeah, I know what you're going to say.
423
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:50,963
Sure, I'm a crook.
424
00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:52,498
Does that make me inhumane?
425
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,099
I have feelings too!
426
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,068
Just because I life a few bucks from somebody doesn't mean I'm
427
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,804
going to leave a fat lady stuck here, does it?
428
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:00,806
There's a difference you know!
429
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:02,007
All right, I guess there is.
430
00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:04,076
All right, OK, and lay off!
431
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:10,049
People driving me crazy.
432
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:13,886
Hey, you go climb up.
433
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,087
But, you just said--
434
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,689
I know, I know what I just said.
435
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:19,391
Go ahead up, you be the hero.
436
00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:21,460
All right honey, I'll be right back.
437
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:22,361
You feeling all right?
438
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:23,295
Yeah.
439
00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:24,296
Rob, just fine.
440
00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:25,931
But, I wish you wouldn't go up there.
441
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,967
Well honey, what could happen in an elevator shaft?
442
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,635
I'll be careful.
443
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:32,638
John, maybe Mr.--
444
00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:34,773
Mr.-- What'd you say your name was?
445
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:37,877
Delp, Lyle Delp.
446
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,578
Lyle Delp?
447
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:40,746
Yeah.
448
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,882
Lyle Francis Delp.
449
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:46,118
You want to make something out of it?
450
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,387
Darling, maybe Mr. Delp should go up.
451
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:50,456
Honey, I'll be careful.
452
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,824
All right, come on.
453
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:54,360
Wait a minute, I got to get the trap door out of the way.
454
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,229
OK, come on.
455
00:14:57,329 --> 00:14:58,397
OK.
456
00:14:58,497 --> 00:14:59,531
All right, on three.
457
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,468
OK, 1, 2, 3.
458
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:05,938
I made it.
459
00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:19,685
There it is.
460
00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:21,520
A stuck elevator.
461
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:26,925
LAURA PETRIE: What was that?
462
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:28,127
Uh--
463
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:29,061
LAURA PETRIE: Rob, are you all right?
464
00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:30,029
Oh, nothing honey.
465
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,330
I just kicked a beer can.
466
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,465
Look at this bullet they gave us.
467
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:35,100
Can you reach the door?
468
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,536
Uh, not quite I don't think.
469
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:38,537
Whoa!
470
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,543
Can you see anything?
471
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:46,645
Let's see.
472
00:15:46,745 --> 00:15:50,049
Fred loves Vivian.
473
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:51,817
That's nothing.
474
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:55,888
In 1936 John Freeney laid these bricks.
475
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:58,691
I want to wish you lots of luck because if you're reading this,
476
00:15:58,791 --> 00:15:59,625
you're stuck.
477
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:02,861
[inaudible]
478
00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:04,663
Oh, a riot.
479
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:07,599
Anything else up there?
480
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,734
Fred is a--
481
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:09,668
LAURA PETRIE: What?
482
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:10,703
Nothing honey.
483
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:21,013
Here's something, danger, high voltage.
484
00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:22,648
Rob, maybe you ought to come back down.
485
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:28,253
Hello, is anybody there?
486
00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:29,421
Yeah! We're stuck!
487
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:30,723
Hey, we're here! We're here!
488
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,561
Laura, that's me.
489
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,497
Oh.
490
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:40,265
Hey listen, throw me up the umbrella.
491
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:40,999
Why?
492
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,334
Is it raining up there?
493
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:47,773
Thanks.
494
00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:00,586
Anybody got any chewing gum?
495
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,788
Yeah, yeah gum.
496
00:17:02,888 --> 00:17:04,523
Here, here coming up!
497
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:05,524
Thanks.
498
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,563
LAURA PETRIE: What do you need the gum for?
499
00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:12,765
To chew honey.
500
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,873
Hello.
501
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:22,441
LAURA PETRIE: What is it?
502
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:25,110
That skylight in the roof is wide open.
503
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,879
LAURA PETRIE: Well, how far up is it?
504
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:30,449
About 40 floors.
505
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,483
Oh, don't Rob.
506
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:32,217
Don't.
507
00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:33,919
I'm not going to honey.
508
00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:35,854
Can you climb down?
509
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,856
Let's see.
510
00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:39,091
Not alive.
511
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:44,163
I think I can climb up to this fifth floor door
512
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:45,531
and maybe get it open.
513
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,833
LAURA PETRIE: Don't hurt yourself.
514
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:49,401
But get us out of here!
515
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,637
Boy, this thing's slippery and greasy.
516
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,416
What was that?
517
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:05,484
Nothing.
518
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:08,554
Just some stuff dropped out of my pocket.
519
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:12,324
Hey, hey I can't see him anymore.
520
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:16,395
LAURA PETRIE: Rob!
521
00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:20,065
[inaudible] honey, I just lost the car keys.
522
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:21,033
What do you need car keys!
523
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:22,334
We're in an elevator!
524
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:25,938
I have an extra set darling.
525
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:27,773
She has an extra set darling.
526
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,244
Well, here they are.
527
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:33,178
I found them, it's OK.
528
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,313
It's O--
529
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:35,013
Oh.
530
00:18:35,113 --> 00:18:37,916
It's OK, he found them.
531
00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:40,085
Rob, be careful.
532
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,487
I will.
533
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,755
Listen, I want to try to pry open that fifth floor
534
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:46,859
door with the umbrella.
535
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:53,465
I can't-- Ah.
536
00:18:58,604 --> 00:18:59,505
Whoa.
537
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:05,744
I'm coming down.
538
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:11,183
Careful darling.
539
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:12,117
Come on, I got you.
540
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,352
I got you.
541
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:16,922
There's no use.
542
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:18,290
There's no way out up there at all.
543
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:20,058
Look, somebody is bound to discover us.
544
00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:22,027
The best thing to do is just wait.
545
00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:23,095
Yeah.
546
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,363
Might as well sit around here.
547
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,964
It's better than sitting in jail.
548
00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:29,301
Oh, Mr. Delp you're not sure what's going to happen to you.
549
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:31,270
Oh, it's jail, it's jail.
550
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:32,871
This isn't my first rap.
551
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:34,973
MAN: Hey anybody down there?
552
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:35,874
Yeah!
553
00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:36,808
We're here!
554
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:37,910
We're down here!
555
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,111
MAN: Are you all right?
556
00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:40,546
Yeah, I guess so!
557
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,948
MAN: We think the generator went out or something.
558
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,216
Just sit tight.
559
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,185
The repair man is on the way!
560
00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:47,452
Well listen, hurry it up.
561
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,121
We've got an expectant mother down here.
562
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:52,391
MAN: OK, we'll call the police emergency squad.
563
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:54,993
The fire emergency squad!
564
00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:57,429
For everybody else they call the fire department, for me
565
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:58,864
they call the cops.
566
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:01,767
I'm a loser.
567
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,802
[music playing]
568
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:07,005
Boy, these nuts make me thirsty.
569
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:08,740
MAN: Won't be long now, folks!
570
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,376
The generator is working, but some jerk
571
00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:14,746
threw an umbrella down the shaft and shorted the main switch!
572
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:20,986
Hang on!
573
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,487
How you feel honey?
574
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:24,623
I'm all right, just little tired.
575
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,592
When was the last time you felt anything?
576
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,860
Oh, they stopped a long time ago.
577
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,063
Gee, must be--
578
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:34,066
You still have our watches.
579
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:38,337
Oh, yeah.
580
00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:40,539
Where I'm going I won't need them.
581
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,612
Thanks Lyle.
582
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:50,882
Hey Lyle, I hate to mention it but--
583
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,651
Oh, yeah.
584
00:20:55,153 --> 00:20:57,189
51 bucks, count it.
585
00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,958
I don't have to count it.
586
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:00,993
More nuts?
587
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,195
Yeah, I'm dying I'm so hungry.
588
00:21:03,295 --> 00:21:04,396
How about you Lyle?
589
00:21:04,496 --> 00:21:05,397
Are there any Brazilian ones?
590
00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:07,933
They're not as salty you know.
591
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,401
Sorry, I ate all of them.
592
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:11,136
I think the only thing we have left are the peanuts.
593
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:14,640
Story of my life, the leftovers.
594
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:20,245
Ever since I was a kid, leftover food, leftover clothing,
595
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:22,281
leftover dreams.
596
00:21:22,381 --> 00:21:25,417
Didn't I hear that on Dragnet last night?
597
00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:29,388
Yeah, I identified with him.
598
00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:31,089
You identified with him?
599
00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:32,591
Yeah.
600
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:35,694
We're both social misfits.
601
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:39,498
I couldn't get a wife, couldn't get a job.
602
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:42,267
Haven't you ever had a steady job?
603
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:43,802
Never.
604
00:21:43,902 --> 00:21:46,004
Well, I don't think that's anything to brag about Lyle.
605
00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:47,072
Who's bragging?
606
00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:48,573
What's to brag about?
607
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:52,711
Those doors slide open, I walk into the arms of a cop.
608
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:55,647
You know, I once saw a movie where the crook got away
609
00:21:55,747 --> 00:21:57,449
by switching jackets with another man
610
00:21:57,549 --> 00:21:59,017
and then ducking down low.
611
00:21:59,117 --> 00:22:02,154
Laura!
612
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:03,188
That's all right Laura.
613
00:22:03,288 --> 00:22:04,623
Thanks anyway.
614
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:07,359
Oh Rob, do we have to turn him in?
615
00:22:07,459 --> 00:22:08,727
I don't know honey.
616
00:22:11,196 --> 00:22:13,398
Hey, we're moving.
617
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:18,303
Lyle, it isn't that we want to turn you in.
618
00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:20,839
You don't have to turn me in.
619
00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:22,407
What do you mean?
620
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,042
I'm going to save you the trouble.
621
00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:25,877
Lyle you'd do that?
622
00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:26,978
That's right.
623
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:30,182
Because you're nice people, and I like you.
624
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:31,616
You hear that honey?
625
00:22:31,717 --> 00:22:32,918
Lyle, you know what you're about to do
626
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,887
is the first step on that long road back.
627
00:22:35,987 --> 00:22:37,389
To a better life.
628
00:22:37,489 --> 00:22:39,458
I know, I know.
629
00:22:39,558 --> 00:22:41,693
That's why I'm going to do it.
630
00:22:41,793 --> 00:22:45,297
Every man has to do something for himself
631
00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:47,999
if he's ever to be free.
632
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,067
Good luck to you Lyle.
633
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,373
I'll need it.
634
00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:56,608
Thanks Rob.
635
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,681
[music playing]
636
00:23:02,781 --> 00:23:05,250
Man must do some things for himself
637
00:23:05,350 --> 00:23:07,352
if he's ever to be free.
638
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:08,253
That's beautiful.
639
00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:09,821
Isn't it?
640
00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:11,590
And then when the elevator stopped, he turned himself in.
641
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:14,760
No, he ran like a thief.
642
00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:15,827
Let's cast him.
643
00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:16,762
You mean--
644
00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:18,363
You mean he didn't turn himself in?
645
00:23:18,463 --> 00:23:19,831
No, he tried to turn us in.
646
00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:22,067
He told them that we tried to hold him up.
647
00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:23,535
And he ran in the confusion.
648
00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:25,370
Yeah, you see, and he'd have made it too if he didn't
649
00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:27,706
stop to get a drink of water.
650
00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,541
The police looked at Laura and decided she wasn't
651
00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:30,842
shaped like a holdup man.
652
00:23:30,942 --> 00:23:32,110
They caught him on down the hall.
653
00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:33,445
We had to identify him.
654
00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:34,746
And he doesn't hold a grudge?
655
00:23:34,846 --> 00:23:35,847
No.
656
00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:37,516
Even though he's been in for eight years?
657
00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:40,185
Well look Mel, during that time he's been in and out,
658
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:41,153
and in and out.
659
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:42,487
You know.
660
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,523
He's got the only cell with a swinging door.
661
00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:46,224
He's working in the library in the prison now.
662
00:23:46,324 --> 00:23:47,526
He's a trustee. - What do you say Mel?
663
00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:49,494
Is the story worth a few costumes?
664
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,530
I will give you anything you need.
665
00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:53,832
We must do more to help our men behind bars.
666
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:55,333
Yeah, let's put him in front of the bar
667
00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:58,170
and give him some booze.
668
00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,437
I appreciate all the help Mel.
669
00:23:59,538 --> 00:24:00,872
We would like to give them a good show.
670
00:24:00,972 --> 00:24:03,742
Sociologists tell us that anybody is potentially
671
00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:05,277
capable of committing a crime.
672
00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:06,578
Any one of us.
673
00:24:06,678 --> 00:24:07,612
Well, I don't think you ever have to worry
674
00:24:07,712 --> 00:24:08,914
about being a Lyle Delp.
675
00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:10,048
Why not?
676
00:24:10,148 --> 00:24:11,550
Well, for one thing, you haven't got a comb.
677
00:24:19,891 --> 00:24:22,327
Next week by popular request, the whole cast
678
00:24:22,427 --> 00:24:23,461
is going to prison.
679
00:24:23,562 --> 00:24:26,264
Join us, won't you?
680
00:24:26,364 --> 00:24:30,168
[music playing]
45565
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