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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,520
Do you want to marry me?
I'm applying for a job.
2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:06,480
What the hell for?!
What if he gets someone difficult?!
3
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,520
If you wanted to come
for dinner, I could cook.
4
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,440
Are you seeing anyone?
Tell me about Lawrence.
5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,400
They do a YouTube channel.
6
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,800
I've got woodworm.
7
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,960
Needs doing sharpish.
Do you have that sort of money?
8
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,080
We might have to put the
kitchen on hold.
9
00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:24,680
This is you all over, Gillian.
We'll find another way.
10
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,480
PHONE RINGS
It's Ted.
11
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,440
He's coming over.
The plot thickens.
12
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,440
Ta-ra. Night.
13
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,640
All right, look, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said...
14
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,360
Let's...
15
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,400
SHE SIGHS
16
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,360
I shouldn't have said anything,
not on people's birthdays,
17
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,560
I should've waited till we got
home. No.
18
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,000
I should've spoken to you
about it before we set off,
19
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,880
then we could have
discussed it properly.
20
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,120
I do understand why you want
to help her.
21
00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,040
No, you're right. She's 53.
22
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,200
Just.
23
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,640
She needs to stop thinking
she can tap money off me.
24
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,400
I just worry, you know,
about workmen.
25
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,800
They can have you over a barrel
if you start mucking them about.
26
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,280
Yeah. Not turning up,
turning up late,
27
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,560
turning up when it suits
them. I know, I know.
28
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,160
We can't fall out, can we?
29
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,840
No!
30
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,880
And we're not going to.
31
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,960
Have you applied for this job
in this supermarket
32
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,520
because you're fed up with me?
33
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,880
No!
34
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,840
I know things haven't been
the same between us
35
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,400
since we couldn't agree
about Brexit.
36
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,720
It's just...to get out of the
house now and again.
37
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,280
Just...
38
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,920
..to see a few new faces.
39
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:54,600
Seeing new faces
keeps you young.
40
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,400
Are you fed up with this old face?
41
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,480
OWL HOOTS
42
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:04,840
No.
43
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,280
TV ON
44
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:26,400
DOG WHINES
45
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,560
Listen, don't take this the
wrong way,
46
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,680
but I can lend you this £5,000.
47
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,480
No.
48
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,680
Caroline,
49
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,600
she's right.
50
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,680
Shouldn't have asked.
Well, it's there. The offer.
51
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:39,880
If you need it.
52
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,400
You're kind, but no.
53
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,000
I'll have to find another way.
54
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,200
I, er...
55
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,360
What?
56
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,480
I got a birthday card off Robbie.
57
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,360
Sounds like he's doing all right.
Do you think he'll stay in Canada?
58
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,400
That's the first time he's been
in touch since he went.
59
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,600
Well, in touch with me.
60
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,680
He texts Raff every now and
again. It's a nice message.
61
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,080
That's what I thought.
62
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,240
I mean...it's, er, reassuring.
63
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:24,160
He hasn't changed his mind about not
saying anything to anybody...
64
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:25,360
..about owt.
65
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:27,680
Hmm.
66
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,520
I don't miss him. I thought
I might, in time, but...
67
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,160
You don't get lonely?
68
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,520
I think this is the least lonely
I've ever been.
69
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,240
Do you? Get lonely?
70
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:46,200
Yeah. I think, you know,
when you've got a little one
71
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:49,400
and you spend so much time
talking their language,
72
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:53,320
and then there's nobody there
to talk yours, then...yeah.
73
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,040
You want to put yourself out
there. I don't.
74
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,080
You need to get yourself over
to Hebden Women's Disco.
75
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,000
I am not going to
Hebden Women's Disco.
76
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,960
Second Saturday in the month.
I'll come with you.
77
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,680
You'll be there by yourself,
mate, cos I'm not coming.
78
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,640
Where do posh lesbians go to
get...? The Guardian!
79
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,840
Soulmates. Don't do this to me.
No, they do!
80
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,440
I've got someone coming round for
dinner tomorrow night.
81
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:18,760
Don't get excited! It's not...
She's probably not, erm...
82
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,320
It's my head of English. Ruth.
83
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,120
Wow.
84
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,840
Yes, the same as... The dog.
85
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:27,320
I know. Yeah. What's she like?
86
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,920
Well, she's not...
87
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,120
WHISPERING: ..gay.
88
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,040
Her husband's sleeping
in the spare bedroom,
89
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,440
but she's not gay, so...
90
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:36,600
But you like her.
91
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,720
She's 15 years younger than
me and she's not...
92
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:43,120
..as I say, but, yeah, yeah.
I do, yeah.
93
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,880
Do I? No, I don't know.
94
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,760
So, she's coming round for...?
95
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,480
Well, to go through the Q&A.
96
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,760
She's doing the Q&A when Judith
comes, so, obviously,
97
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,160
it's got to go smoothly
98
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:58,560
and be well planned...
Yeah! God, yeah, Judith.
99
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,240
No messing about.
No tripping up, pissed.
100
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,880
So you've invited her over for
dinner? Ruth?
101
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,080
Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have.
No, you should have!
102
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,840
Yeah, but I don't know what
you...what you do. I don't know...
103
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,480
..anything, and I kind of wish
I hadn't now,
104
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:15,840
now that I've said it out loud.
105
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,480
Do you want me to come?
Say all the wrong things?
106
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,160
Yeah, that'd help.
Show you up, embarrass you?
107
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,640
Yeah, brilliant.
108
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,040
"Caroline fancies you"!
109
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,240
Shh.
110
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,400
That'd focus everyone's thoughts.
111
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,840
Don't make me wish I hadn't
told you.
112
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,320
You should go for it.
113
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,880
You're very attractive,
114
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,760
even if she is 15 years
younger.
115
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,240
She should be so lucky.
116
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:38,480
Seriously.
117
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:40,760
Life's short.
118
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,760
You deserve something nice.
119
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,680
You're a nice person.
120
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,040
Dad?
121
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,760
Hmm?
122
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,640
You all right? Mmm. Yeah.
123
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,440
Sitting in the dark.
124
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,040
Cool.
125
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,240
Bit weird.
126
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,480
What would you think about...
127
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:25,680
..if I got married again?
128
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:26,800
Who to?
129
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,280
Well, Judith, of course.
130
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,640
HE GIGGLES
131
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,800
You don't like her.
132
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,280
How do you mean?
133
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,200
She doesn't like you.
134
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,640
In what way?
You hate each other.
135
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,040
Oh, I see.
136
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,640
Well, yes.
137
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:47,520
I realise that's...an impression we
may have cultivated.
138
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,360
I've always found it convincing.
139
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,120
The thing is,
140
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,840
I don't want to hurt her.
141
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,240
No.
142
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:58,840
Yeah. Yeah. Right.
143
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:07,240
Well, I'm just invading Iraq
upstairs, so...
144
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,960
I'm just going to... Sure.
145
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,400
So I thought I'd jump in
the Jag
146
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,800
with you and Flora, and Ted can
travel in the Lexus with Alan.
147
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,800
We'll need the Jag, anyway, for
Ted's luggage,
148
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,240
by the sound of things. Right.
149
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:49,000
Are you feeding the 5,000? No.
150
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,840
Got someone coming? Possibly.
151
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,160
Well, shall I set off, then,
if you're going together?
152
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,920
Do you know,
I could've met you there.
153
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,320
Yeah, that's what I said.
154
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,560
I just wanted five minutes
with you. Why?
155
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:13,040
I think he's fed up with me.
Alan? Why?
156
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,400
Well, why has he applied
for this job?
157
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,360
"To get out of the house,"
he's told me.
158
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,200
"To see a few new faces."
159
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,880
Well, that's...
160
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:27,400
Doesn't mean he's fed up of you.
Well, if he was happy at home,
161
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,480
he wouldn't think of applying
for a job, would he?
162
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,760
You know, it isn't as if he
needs to, is it? He's retired.
163
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:34,960
Yeah, but you don't want to be
164
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:39,000
in each other's pockets all day,
do you? Do you?
165
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,400
And then this business last
night with bloody Gillian.
166
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,720
Shh! Just...
167
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,240
Oh...
168
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,560
Be careful what you say. Oh.
169
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,520
There. Look.
170
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,760
Grando! Hello, love.
171
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,080
Hello.
172
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,120
Hey, you beat me!
173
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,680
Hmm. Looks like he's landed,
if he's on it.
174
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,800
He'll have security to get
through, four bags to collect,
175
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,960
and can't walk so fast, so he's
going to be, what,
176
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,400
20 minutes? Ah.
177
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,680
Can I go and look in that shop?
Stay where I can see you.
178
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,640
Can I have some money?
No, you can window-shop.
179
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,320
It's all landfill.
180
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:36,120
Have you seen Celia,
and Caroline? Not yet.
181
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:40,480
Everything all right at home
last night when you got back?
182
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:41,840
Yeah!
183
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,400
Yeah. Yeah.
184
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,000
HE SIGHS
I should've talked to her
185
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,280
about that there before we came
over, and then...
186
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,120
Yeah. Well... I'm sorry.
187
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,240
It's fine. Here, happen I could give
you a bit of something towards it,
188
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,800
at least, and not tell Celia.
No. No, I'm not having that.
189
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,960
You see, you try and please
everyone, and you end up
pleasing nobody!
190
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,600
Presumably Celia's happy now?
HE SIGHS
191
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,280
Which is fine. It's fine. Hey!
192
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,680
Ey-up, they're here.
193
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:17,840
Yeah.
194
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:21,480
Long time no see!
Long time no see!
195
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,680
They're great chums,
them two, aren't they, hey?
196
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,680
They never stop chatting when we
pick 'em up from school.
197
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:26,880
Yeah, they love each other.
198
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,880
She's a nice little kid, Flora.
199
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,840
Yeah.
200
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,120
Looks like he's landed! Yup!
201
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,560
Hopefully.
202
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:01,640
I'm going feeding chickens!
Right!
203
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,160
Ohh...
204
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,800
Fuck...off!
205
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,440
PHONE RINGS
206
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:57,960
Hiya.
207
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:01,400
You need to come and look at this.
Why, what's up?
208
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,080
Well, where are you?
209
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,720
Are you smoking? No.
210
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,280
You were, you were smoking!
211
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,360
You know, I'm not stupid,
I'm not blind.
212
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,920
This is that Leah
you're always on about!
213
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,000
When we went out for that drink
before Christmas with your lot,
214
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,120
she were never inside the pub!
Always standing outside
215
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,080
in the rain cracking her baccy
open!
216
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:29,320
This is just so typical of you,
this is. You're just so...
217
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,640
Oh, my actual God.
218
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,120
Who did you say you'd got
coming for dinner tonight?
219
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,800
I didn't,
220
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,720
cos I don't want any
comments or opinions.
221
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:51,720
Is that Ted?
222
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:53,960
Ted!
223
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,320
Ah! Here we are! Thanks,
love, that'll do.
224
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,280
Are you all right? Yes.
225
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,400
Oh, no, it's not mine, no.
No, we borrowed it.
226
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,120
We just saw it down there.
227
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,920
I think it belongs to the airline.
228
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,440
Either that, or there's someone
down there struggling.
229
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,680
BOTH CHUCKLE
230
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:12,360
How are we all? Hello, hello,
hello! Look at you!
231
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,520
Ted!
232
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,880
Gillian!
Oh, Ted, hello. Mwah.
233
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,080
And Caroline! Hello, Ted.
234
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,960
Hello, love. Aw.
235
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,000
And, er, who're these young
ladies?
236
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,600
This is Calamity - Emily -
and this is Flora.
237
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,120
How are you?
238
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,880
I'm... I'm lovely!
239
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,160
Oh, yeah, this is, er... Mia.
240
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,920
Mia! And, er... Alyssa.
241
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,120
And Alyssa.
242
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,480
Hi. We chummed up in Hong Kong.
243
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,040
He's so lovely! We love him.
244
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,440
They've been looking after me.
I said we'd give them a lift.
245
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,440
You have brought the Land Rover,
haven't you? Yeah! Yeah!
246
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,120
Aw! Uncle Ted!
247
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,480
Where are you going, exactly?
248
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,680
Where do you want a lift to?
249
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,160
Anywhere! Wherever you're going.
250
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,760
We could put them up for a couple
of nights, couldn't we?
251
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,720
Yeah! Yeah!
252
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,440
Till they've got their bearings.
Yeah, if...
253
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,840
Er, yeah.
We're no trouble.
254
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,640
We can sleep anywhere.
We could sleep in a ditch.
255
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,600
We'd rather not, but, um...
If we had to.
256
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,960
See you later.
See you later!
257
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,040
So...I'm confused.
258
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:26,760
So I'm taking Ted's...everything
and the kitchen sink
259
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,760
in my car with Mia and Alyssa,
260
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,560
but you're taking their backpacks
261
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,400
and Flora in your Land Rover.
Right.
262
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,080
Then I'll collect Flora
from you later,
263
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:36,280
when I've got five minutes.
264
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,600
And where are the Kiwis
going to?
265
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,880
Well, I have no idea. I know they're
not staying with me,
266
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,080
because I've got Ruth coming.
267
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,880
I would have them,
only we've no spare bedrooms.
268
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,120
So, what am I doing with
their backpacks?
269
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,800
Well, I'd drop them round at
my mum and your dad's.
270
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,520
That's where I'm intending to
drop them.
271
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,520
Good thinking, Batman. See you
there. I'll see you somewhere.
272
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,760
GIRLS GIGGLE
273
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,960
PHONE RINGS
Hello!
274
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,920
You know when you set off
to the airport?
275
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,480
Yeah.
276
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,760
As you were driving away
from the house,
277
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,200
did you not look in
your rear-view mirror at all?
278
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,000
Why? What for?
You didn't notice
279
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,400
anything...unusual about
the barn?
280
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,600
The barn?
281
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,320
No. OK.
282
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,520
Why?
283
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,920
Just...when you come back,
284
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,920
see if you can spot anything.
285
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,120
See if anything catches your eye.
286
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,080
Am I getting any clues?
No. No, I'll, er...
287
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,040
I'll leave it with you.
288
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,680
What are you on about?
289
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,760
You do realise this could be worth
a lot of money, don't you?
290
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,840
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
291
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,640
I've no idea who they are,
them two lasses.
292
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,800
They just latched on to me
in Hong Kong.
293
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,600
But they're pleasant enough.
294
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,680
Although one of them talks all
the time.
295
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,160
HE CHUCKLES
And the other one's a bit quiet.
296
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,000
But they...
297
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,680
They were very helpful.
298
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:23,720
Let's go for a pint!
299
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,120
A pint? Sure!
300
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:28,360
Shall we call the others
to come and join us?
301
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:30,040
No. Just you and me.
302
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,080
Somewhere nice.
303
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,800
Somewhere quiet.
304
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,720
Sure.
305
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,840
Is this near Scotland?
306
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:55,480
Well...relative to New Zealand
it is, yeah.
307
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,240
What?
308
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,400
You can probably get to
Edinburgh from Leeds
309
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,800
in a couple of hours on a train.
310
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,120
We could drop you in Leeds,
if you want, at the station.
311
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,640
They haven't got their bags.
312
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,880
Well, whose bloody idea was that?
313
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,480
Logistics!
314
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,280
You saw how full the boot was.
315
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,920
Oh, we'll do here first!
316
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,720
What are the top five things to
do in Yorkshire?
317
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,120
Like...in a cultural way.
Oh! Well...
318
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:25,400
You know what we're world
famous for round by us?
319
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,880
What? The Bronte sisters.
320
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,280
Are they...?
321
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:32,720
Is that...?
322
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,600
Is that, like, erm...? What is that?
323
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,240
Oh, the Bronte sisters!
324
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,440
You know, they wrote novels...
325
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:43,840
..walking round a table
at the parsonage in Haworth.
326
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:47,560
The Bronte sisters.
Charlotte and Emily and...
327
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,760
..the other one.
328
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,080
And Branwell.
No, he was the brother.
329
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,880
Yes, I know he was the brother.
You've heard of them?
330
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,560
They wrote Jane Eyre
and Wuthering Heights
331
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,400
before they died.
332
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,600
What else did they write?
333
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,960
The Turn Of The Shrew...Screw.
334
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,720
The... What is it?
335
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,360
The Taming Of The...
The Tenant Of Wildfell Hall.
336
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,120
No, that's that other one.
The other fella.
337
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,240
What other fella?
338
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,240
The Woman In White.
339
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:14,680
No, that's Wilkie Collins.
340
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,440
What is?
The Woman In White.
341
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,360
Well, who am I thinking
about, then? Which one?
342
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,800
Which fella wrote that other
one? That other one I said.
343
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,000
The Taming Of The Shrew
is Shakespeare.
344
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,320
The Turn Of The Screw is
Henry...um...
345
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,120
Henry...
346
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,360
What's his name?
He's really famous.
347
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:33,040
The Bostonians,
Washington Square.
348
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,800
What's his...? Henry...
VIII?
349
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,280
James!
350
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,760
It's Henry James!
351
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,000
You can't not have
heard of the Bronte sisters,
352
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,120
even in New Zealand.
353
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,160
It's good, innit?
354
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,680
Oh, I dream about this.
355
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,240
There you go.
356
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,160
It's what gets me to sleep at
night.
357
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,680
A Yorkshire pint
358
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,040
in a Yorkshire pub
359
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,360
on a Yorkshire hillside.
360
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:58,560
BOTH: Cheers.
361
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,720
You know we've been worried
about you, don't you?
362
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,400
Nadine rang.
Oh, bugger Nadine!
363
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,600
She's a bloody nuisance.
Oh, is she?
364
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,040
And she tells lies.
365
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,920
They all do.
366
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,120
She said you'd sold the house.
367
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:15,960
What else did she tell you?
Well, just that.
368
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:21,000
Well, that you'd, er,
fallen out with 'em all.
369
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000
She didn't say why.
370
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,400
PHONE BEEPS
371
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,280
Ooh.
372
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:30,600
Oh! Well, there you go.
I've got a job! You have?
373
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,920
Yeah...
My interview was successful.
374
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,680
Doing what?
375
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,960
I've got to go on an induction
course.
376
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,160
Monday morning, 9am.
377
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,120
Four hours!
378
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,800
Smart, comfortable clothes,
comfortable shoes.
379
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,040
Um, checkout assistant
380
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,240
in, um, a supermarket.
381
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,120
What are you doing that for?
382
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:56,600
Then I go straight on to a shift
in the afternoon. Hmm?
383
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,000
Fun.
384
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:00,760
We must get some champagne!
385
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,160
Champagne? Yeah, I want to
stop off somewhere,
386
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,040
buy some champagne to celebrate.
387
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,240
My new job?
388
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,560
No, not your bloody job!
389
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:12,240
What do you need a bloody
job for at your age? No.
390
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,960
Me being here!
391
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,160
And, er, Bovril!
392
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,720
Who?
We must get some Bovril.
393
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,960
You can't get Bovril
in New Zealand.
394
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,240
Oh.
395
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,880
So, what did you all fall out
about?
396
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,360
Oh, it's long and boring.
397
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:34,760
I'm not going anywhere.
398
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,880
Well, you know what kids are
like.
399
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,280
Always looking for hand-outs,
400
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,400
even when they're in their 50s.
401
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,480
So I've... I've told them all,
they can...
402
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,320
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
..do one.
403
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,520
Oh...
404
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,200
They didn't even know
you were on a plane.
405
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,280
No.
406
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,560
Well...
407
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,560
..happen it'll make them
think. Hmm.
408
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,120
You're not short of money,
are you? Me?
409
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:06,360
HE CHUCKLES
Oh, no, no!
410
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,440
I'm glad to hear it.
411
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,200
CALAMITY: What is that?
412
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,440
What is that?
413
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,120
It's a giraffe!
414
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,880
I'm screaming!
415
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,480
BOTH SCREAM
She's screaming!
416
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,640
We're screaming!
417
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,240
GIRLS SCREAM
How did it get there?
418
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,600
Has somebody done that?
What is it?
419
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:36,800
GIRLS SCREAM
420
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,000
How could you not see it
when you left?
421
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,400
I...I might not always be
looking in my mirrors.
422
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,000
I might be looking
in the direction of travel,
423
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,000
for instance, in the traditional
manner. It's a Banksy.
424
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,200
I can...
425
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,960
I can see...
426
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,480
How did...?
427
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,360
It wasn't there yesterday.
428
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:03,480
It definitely wasn't there
yesterday,
429
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:04,880
because I walked down here,
430
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:08,040
and everyone came round
last night for supper!
431
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,200
They'd all have seen it.
Somebody would have seen that!
432
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,520
Well, he must've done it in the
night. I mean, that's what he does!
433
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:15,680
Like, by stealth!
434
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,320
It'll be worth millions.
435
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,120
You've got more room than me.
436
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:34,600
No. I haven't. I've got one guest
bedroom, the same as you.
437
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:35,800
You've got two, in fact.
438
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,960
But Ted's in one of them!
439
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,480
They can share, they're kids.
I'm sorry.
440
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,240
Gillian's dropped your bags
off, girls! Thanks!
441
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,920
Where are Alan and Ted? I thought
they'd be back sooner than us.
442
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,000
Right...I'm off.
443
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,080
You're better with younger
people than me.
444
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,520
You're used to them.
You know how to talk to them!
445
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,560
Yes, all week! This is my weekend.
446
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,600
Yes, but... No!
447
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,280
So, are we staying here,
Celia, or...?
448
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,360
Well, Caroline's got more
room than me, really.
449
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:09,840
You know, I'd be delighted
any other time,
450
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,960
except I've got a guest
coming this evening
451
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,160
and I still haven't started
cooking,
452
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:14,960
then I've got to collect Flora
from...
453
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,080
PHONE RINGS, SHE SIGHS
454
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:19,800
Gillian, hello.
455
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,240
Where are you? Yeah, I'm coming.
456
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,560
I'm just at my mother's. Why?
457
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:23,880
I...
458
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,160
..need you.
459
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:27,680
Oh.
460
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:28,920
OK.
461
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,200
I'll be ten minutes.
462
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,880
Right! I'm off.
463
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,080
Good luck!
464
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,920
Have fun. I'll, erm...
465
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,480
..tomorrow!
466
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,400
Right.
467
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,760
How long are you stopping,
by the way?
468
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,840
What? Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah,
that's it.
469
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,040
That's what I wanted to talk to
you about.
470
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,400
I'm not going back.
471
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,160
I bought a one-way ticket.
472
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,520
Have you told anyone?
473
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,160
Mr Buttershaw? Hello.
474
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,080
I thought it was you!
475
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,520
How did you get on with the lad?
476
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,920
Oh, him. Yeah. Yeah.
477
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,120
He ran off.
478
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:17,080
I said he would.
I told you not to bother.
479
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,640
I knocked on a door.
480
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,200
He said it was where he lived.
481
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:21,920
It wasn't. Who?
482
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,440
Oh, this little kiddy.
483
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,120
Shoplifting.
484
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:27,600
The day I came for my interview.
485
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,720
He's feral. Oh... No, seriously.
486
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,200
Lives in a foster home up
Norland - he's supposed to -
487
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,440
then he runs off,
lives in folk's sheds.
488
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,440
Oh... No, I'm serious.
489
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,240
They keep copping him, taking him
back and then he'll run off again.
490
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:40,960
Good for him. It's what I'd do.
491
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:46,040
My brother. Ted. He's just
flown in from New Zealand.
492
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,360
This is David.
493
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,000
He works here.
494
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,360
How do?
495
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:54,320
Well, did you get your tetanus?
496
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,360
Nah. Didn't break the skin.
497
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,880
Oh... I'm starting - Monday.
498
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,040
Ah!
499
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,120
I've got my induction day.
Well, very good.
500
00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:05,840
Well, I might be seeing you
then. Aye. Keep smiling.
501
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,680
When you say you're stopping,
what do...what do you...
502
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:11,880
Oh-ho! ..mean?
503
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,840
85 quid!
HE CHUCKLES
504
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,040
Must be good stuff.
505
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,400
Do Nadine and the others know?
506
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,840
I mean, I was born here
and I shall die here.
507
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,120
I'm going to get some flowers
for Celia.
508
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:28,480
HE SIGHS
509
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,920
Look, I've said I'm sorry,
and I am sorry!
510
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,760
I just thought it would be a
shame, you know,
511
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:36,960
to waste a good black eye,
that's all.
512
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,600
So what? Oh, come on,
Angus baby, I need you
513
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,800
to do this thing over at Gillian's.
You'll have to give me some
514
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,200
petrol money if we're going all
the way over there.
515
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,280
Yeah, surely will.
516
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,160
Crap.
517
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:53,800
How much do you want?
518
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,040
30.
519
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,000
WATER BUBBLES
520
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,920
RINGING TONE
521
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,720
John! Caroline! Hi.
522
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:15,000
Hi. How are you?
523
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,120
I'm fine. How are you?
Good! Good!
524
00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:20,840
I just wanted to say thank you
for dinner again
525
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,360
the other night. It was...
Well, it was delightful,
526
00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:27,240
not having seen you for so
long. What can I do for you?
527
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,200
Oh, just...
528
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,480
..Judith's asked me to marry her.
529
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:33,720
Oh, shit!
530
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:39,160
Are you going to?
Can I come over? Why? To talk.
531
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,040
Not today, no,
I'm just collecting Flora,
532
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,080
and then I've got someone
coming over for dinner. Who?
533
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,280
No-one. It's just my head of
English.
534
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:47,480
Is he...?
535
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,280
Is he...
536
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,480
..a woman?
537
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,840
Yeah. Yeah, he is. A woman.
538
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,160
Yup.
539
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,080
I don't want to marry her.
540
00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,560
I don't think it's a good idea.
541
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,480
No. Do you?
542
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,360
No, but it's none of my
business, so there you go.
543
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,360
Thing is...
544
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:06,560
..I said yes.
545
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:07,720
OK.
546
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,920
It was...
547
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,200
Well, it was awkward.
I couldn't say no.
548
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,400
I should've done, but I didn't.
549
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,080
And I couldn't say,
"Can I think about it?"
550
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,800
because that sounds like no.
551
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:18,080
And you see...
552
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:20,560
..she's...
553
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:25,120
It's her health, her mental health,
it's so delicate,
554
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,440
so fragile, and I don't want her
to fall off the wagon again.
555
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:29,640
I just...
556
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,520
..don't want to marry her.
557
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:32,720
Well, no. No. No!
558
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,040
So this person you're seeing,
559
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,760
this head of English,
560
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:40,280
is she...? Is that...?
Are you...?
561
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,360
Er, no. No. No, she's...
562
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,560
We're just, um...
563
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:44,920
Yeah.
564
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,120
I mean, she's...she's... Yeah.
565
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,920
But no. It's not... She's not...
566
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:53,080
I wish I was still married to
you. There! I've said it.
567
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:54,280
It's out there.
568
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:55,800
Hmm.
569
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,600
Caroline?
570
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,600
Jesus Christ!
571
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:03,200
I know! I know, I know, I get that
completely,
572
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,480
but, look, I don't think you can
be completely gay
573
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:11,280
because we had such a good life
together. We get each other.
574
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,360
We're on the same wavelength.
Everyone else I know is...
575
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,840
John... ..so shallow
and empty and dull...
576
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,440
John! ..compared to you!
John, I'm going to have to go.
577
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:19,720
Why? No, don't.
578
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,680
I-I-I talk too much, I know.
I'm sorry. I...
579
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,400
What did you just say?
580
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:25,680
When?
581
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,360
Then, just then, all that.
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
582
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,720
Well, I...
583
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,080
Can I ring you back?
584
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,240
Yes! Yes, sure. When?
585
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:34,880
It might not be today.
586
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,360
CALL ENDS
587
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,400
Well, that went well.
588
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,040
Caroline's here.
589
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,000
Why's your mum so weird
about the barn?
590
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,160
She should be laughing her
socks off, and look at her.
591
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:53,360
Oh...
592
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,200
It's cos it's where me dad
killed himself.
593
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:58,920
Oh, God.
594
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,160
I... I didn't know
that's where it was.
595
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:06,480
Sorry.
596
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,080
Oh...
597
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,480
Is it real?
598
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,000
People are going to come
gawping, aren't they?
599
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,520
They're going
to come poking about.
600
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,200
It's going to be on
the f-f...news,
601
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,200
I mean, whether it's real or
not. And what does it even mean?
602
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,920
Giraffe?
603
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,120
Giraffe!
604
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,480
On a barn. On a farm?
605
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,280
What? What?
606
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,560
Oh, it'll be a metaphor.
For what?
607
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,560
Well, it's something about the
industrialisation of farm animals
608
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,000
or...or...in the modern world,
609
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,600
or the exploitation of...
I'm organic! Nearly.
610
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,160
I'm nice! My sheep are happy!
Ask them!
611
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:49,840
I'm not exploiting anybody!
612
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,480
I ought to be ringing 99 f-f...9!
613
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,320
It's not personal.
It can't be, can it? It's just...
614
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,080
Yeah, well, do some research!
615
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,360
This is vandalism!
Fucking painters!
616
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,960
Well, David Hockney will be
at it next. Gauguin, one o' them.
617
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,840
Cannelloni!
He can come and have a go.
618
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,160
Canaletto.
619
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,920
Any of 'em. Twats.
620
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,520
They need to leave people alone.
621
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,000
Look, it's not... It's not, um...
622
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,080
I hate that barn! I know.
623
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,080
It's alive - that barn
has a mind of its own.
624
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,960
I've told you before. No.
It doesn't, Gillian. He's in there.
625
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,520
Eddie, not Banksy.
626
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,000
He's in there.
Look, this could be a blessing.
627
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,000
I know it's weird, but it could be
worth a lot of money.
628
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,200
This could pay for your woodworm
and your roof timbers.
629
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,560
Nothing good will ever come
out of that barn, Caroline.
630
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,280
Oh, you don't know that.
This could be a turning point.
631
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,000
Listen, I can't stay,
I've got to start cooking.
632
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,840
Oh, God, you've got
your girlfriend coming.
633
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,640
You've got to calm down.
I know it stirs things up,
634
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,240
I know it does your head in,
but...
635
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,440
..she's not my girlfriend.
636
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,280
Flora! Come on!
637
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,080
Bye. See you tomorrow!
638
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,680
I'm at the end of the phone.
OK? Yeah. Yeah.
639
00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:58,880
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
640
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,000
How did they get up there?
641
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,680
Bye. See you, Auntie Gillian.
Yeah.
642
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:11,400
Yo.
643
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,480
Lawrence! Is your m...?
Hi, Angus.
644
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:17,640
Is your mother see...?
645
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,240
Ooh, Popular!
Can you lend me 30 squids?
646
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,000
No, sorry. It's for petrol, please.
647
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,120
Not got any cash on me, sorry.
648
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,200
Sorry, just out of interest,
649
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,400
is your mother seeing someone?
650
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:30,920
No. Not that I know of.
651
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,440
And anyway, what if she was?
652
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,080
TV ON
653
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,520
HE SNORES
654
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,600
I was beginning to wonder
where the hell you'd got to!
655
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,280
Well, yeah, he wanted a pint,
656
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,160
and some Bovril, so...
HE CHUCKLES
657
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,320
You have got a mobile phone.
658
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,680
Yes. I never think.
659
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,400
Have you learnt anything?
Hmm? Cos I have.
660
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,600
They're nurses, them two.
661
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,480
So, not as daft as they look.
662
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,760
Nurses? On holiday.
663
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,840
They've taken three months
off to travel.
664
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,800
And they did just bump into
him in Hong Kong,
665
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,680
but then they were having
to look after him.
666
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,320
They reckon he'd been in a pickle
667
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,360
trying to fathom Hong Kong on his
own.
668
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,680
Anyway, I've said
they can stop a few nights,
669
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,400
because they've obviously
been very kind to him.
670
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:37,400
But that's it. Then we've got Martin
starting on the kitchen next week.
671
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,840
And I can't be doing
with a houseful.
672
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,640
Well, he says
he's not going back. Eh?
673
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:46,040
Yeah, he says he's stopping.
Where? Here. Here?
674
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,120
Well, I assume he's going to
buy himself a little house.
675
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,080
If it's going to be
a permanent arrangement.
676
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:53,400
I mean, he can't be short,
677
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,720
spending £85 on a bottle of
champagne.
678
00:34:56,720 --> 00:34:59,000
And where is he going to be
stopping
679
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,040
until he buys this little
house? Here?
680
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:06,200
He sounds as if he's fallen out
with Nadine and everybody,
681
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,920
cos they were tapping money off
him - trying to -
682
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,120
after he'd sold his house.
683
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:12,960
Well, where was he living
after he sold his house?
684
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,160
With her.
685
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,520
For a bit. Then I think he went
to their Simon
686
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,480
for a month or two,
and then to one of the others.
687
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,640
And then he rented a little flat.
688
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,080
Rented? Why didn't he buy a
house there? I don't know.
689
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:32,440
He'll not want to be stopping here
for any length of time, surely.
690
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,560
He's been over there too long,
surely.
691
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,200
I mean, his life's there,
not here.
692
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:39,680
He seems quite adamant.
693
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:43,200
He'll be thinking
that the grass is greener.
694
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,680
Well, I think he'll be
disillusioned.
695
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:49,200
He's brought Alice's ashes
back with him.
696
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:54,720
Cor, she's been dead ten years.
697
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:57,280
Has he not scattered 'em
before now?
698
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,200
He says she always wanted to come
back here, so he's brought her.
699
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,720
He says he was born here,
and he'll die here.
700
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:06,600
And then he wants him and
her to be buried together -
701
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,640
their remains - up Blackley
702
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,120
with me mum and dad,
and her mum and dad,
703
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,040
and her sister.
704
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,320
Oh, and, erm...
705
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:19,840
What?
706
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,640
I know it's a sensitive subject.
707
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:25,720
But I've been offered that job.
708
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,320
I start on Monday.
709
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,240
I'm saying nothing.
710
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,000
CUTLERY RATTLES
711
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,720
KNOCK ON DOOR, DOG BARKS
712
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:49,960
Ooh! It's the Mothership. I didn't
know you were coming!
713
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,560
Yeah, cos I didn't ring an' tell
you, that's why.
714
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,200
Love, light and peace.
715
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,880
What's the matter with your
eye? Erm...
716
00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,640
We were drunk.
717
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,800
Mm. Right, well, I've got someone
718
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,320
coming round for dinner.
Smells good.
719
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:04,880
Yeah, but the thing is, they'll be
here any minute, so...
720
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:06,520
Oh, don't worry.
We're off over to Gillian's.
721
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:07,720
We've got all the camping stuff.
722
00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:08,920
Just thought we'd come and say
howdy.
723
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,880
Oh, well, that's very nice.
And can you lend me 30 quid?
724
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,960
No, I can't. I've got no cash on
me. You people are useless.
725
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:19,240
Hey! Hey, it's the little weirdo
from the planet Zog.
726
00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:23,040
Have you come to read to me? No.
Aw. I like it when you read to me.
727
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,960
It's funnier than when
Mummy does it. Ah!
728
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:27,320
Er, Ruth's here.
729
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:31,200
What's he done to his face?
So, Ruth's here now.
730
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,080
So, Angus got in a fight
with an orangutan.
731
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,360
He didn't! Gillian's got a
giraffe! A what?
732
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,160
A real one? Has she?
733
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:44,720
Hi! Hi!
734
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,400
Come in!
735
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:47,600
Hi. Hi.
736
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:48,880
Bye.
737
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,960
Oh, sure.
738
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,960
So this is Lawrence,
my, erm, my...
739
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,400
Well, he was my youngest
until Flora came along.
740
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,480
And then I've got another one
in London. That's William.
741
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,440
He works for a publisher,
he's 24.
742
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,200
Nice.
Judith's publisher, in fact.
743
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,400
And this is Ruth.
744
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,280
And this is Angus. He's...
745
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:11,880
..got a black eye.
746
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,840
And now they're off camping!
747
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,200
See ya, boss.
748
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:19,640
Bye.
749
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:20,840
Bye, Mum. Bye.
750
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,320
Bye. Bye, weirdo.
751
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:23,520
Can I come?
752
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,480
No. A real giraffe?
753
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,000
No, you'll see when you get
there. Have fun!
754
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,560
And don't irritate Gillian!
755
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,720
She's...not very happy about
the giraffe.
756
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,080
Seriously, someone has a real...?
No, no, no, it's...
757
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,000
Actually, it's probably
not a Banksy.
758
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,000
It's a painting, a mural that's
appeared on her barn wall.
759
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,120
Wow.
760
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:44,840
Won't be a real one. OK.
761
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,080
Although it does look like one.
762
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:51,360
These are for you.
763
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,200
Ah.
764
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,040
Thank you. Pleasure.
765
00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:58,000
So this is Flora?
766
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,360
DOG WHIMPERS
But who's this?
767
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,880
Ah, so that's...
768
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,320
Ruth. Yes, that's...
769
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,840
The dog's called Ruth, Ruth.
770
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,080
Ruth?
771
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,840
Sorry, I can explain.
772
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,720
No.
773
00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:15,320
Erm...
774
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,440
Listen, is it all right
if I leave my car here tonight
775
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:22,520
and get a taxi home and then come
and pick it up tomorrow morning?
776
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,800
It's just then I can have
a couple of glasses of wine
777
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,760
and not worry about it.
778
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,720
Er, yeah, course!
779
00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:33,640
You can stay over, if you like.
We've, erm...
780
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,600
..plenty of room.
781
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:53,680
Mm. Laura looked up
some wedding venues online.
782
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,840
I mean, we could really go for
it if we wanted to.
783
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,440
We could really push
the boat out.
784
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,240
But I don't know that I wouldn't
like to just get married
785
00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:07,920
in some charmless, nondescript,
threadbare little registry office.
786
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:08,960
Yes...
787
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,360
Yes. Sure.
788
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:13,560
Sure.
789
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:18,120
It isn't like we've got millions of
people to invite, is it?
790
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,600
PHONE BEEPS
791
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,240
What's that?
792
00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:28,320
Oh.
793
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:30,520
Lawrence.
794
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,920
I just think something small
and discreet
795
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,800
and a bit shit is just...
796
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,600
..more us.
797
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:42,800
Don't you?
798
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:45,800
Yeah.
799
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:53,440
And this is LAADS riding through the
West Riding of Yorkshire,
800
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:55,760
trying to find Granny's
little gaff.
801
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,480
And what does Riding mean, Angus?
802
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,560
Will you get that out of my
face when I'm concentrating?
803
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,880
Can you drive properly?
804
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:02,000
This is properly.
805
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,120
Yeah, I need smooth. Whoa!
806
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:07,040
You nearly went into the
signpost, you fuckin' idiot!
807
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,600
Well, stop being a tit.
808
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,520
You're a tit. You're a tit.
809
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,480
Which one is it?
Which one is what?
810
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,360
House! Which house?
I don't know. It's the one
811
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:15,560
with their car on the drive,
812
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,800
I guess. Tell everyone
what Riding means, Angus.
813
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,160
A third. It means a third.
814
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,000
North, East, West.
815
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,720
No South.
816
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:26,040
Can you do it like you care?
817
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,920
I don't care. It's not funny.
818
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:29,040
Well, make it funny!
819
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:30,960
It's not funny,
it's not interesting.
820
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,760
West Riding.
821
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:36,600
The West Riding of Yorkshire.
Oooh, it's this one!
822
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:37,760
TYRES SQUEAL
823
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,160
Mind the Lexus!
824
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,080
Did you get that,
did you film that?
825
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:46,640
That was good.
826
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:49,280
Piss.
827
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:54,600
CELIA: £30? Course you can,
chicken.
828
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,560
Where have I put my purse?
829
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,120
Well, where are you going
camping, lads?
830
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:04,160
BOTH: Gillian's.
831
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:05,120
Ah!
832
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,160
There we are. Is that enough?
833
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:09,880
Would you like a bit more?
No, Gran.
834
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:14,000
No, go on, then, just....
How big's your tint?
835
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,880
Oh, our tent! Our tent is,
erm...
836
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:23,080
Big.
837
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,040
It's big.
838
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:35,280
My stars! Look at that!
What?
839
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:36,440
Is that a what's-it?
840
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,560
A what?
A thingy! That bloke.
841
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,880
Oh, my God! What? What are you
looking at?
842
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,120
Holy mole shit! This is one for
Instagram.
843
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:44,160
BRAKES ENGAGE
844
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,280
MIA AND ALYSSA SCREAM
Eyes on the road!
845
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:48,480
MIA AND ALYSSA LAUGH
CAMERA CLICKS
846
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,680
And they were both 75?
847
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,160
They hadn't seen each other
for nearly 60 years.
848
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,360
It was very romantic.
849
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:57,240
Oh, there's hope for us all.
850
00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:58,960
Except the reality,
851
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:00,680
when you haven't seen
anyone for that long,
852
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,520
is that you don't really know
them. And what's become apparent
853
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:04,920
is that they have very different
854
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,360
views on things
sometimes and...
855
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,080
Oh, I don't know.
856
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,200
It was kind of funny to start
with, him with his Guardian
857
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,400
and her with her Daily Mail.
858
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:16,160
Can I...?
859
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:17,720
Oh, sure, I'll get another one.
860
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,600
It's like this morning.
861
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,480
So my mother is worried
that he's fed up with her.
862
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,360
And I'm all,
"Oh, Alan? Surely not!"
863
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:30,080
Because we've all bought into
how marvellous it all is
864
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,640
that two elderly people can fall in
love again after all this time,
865
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:35,720
and yet the reality,
seven years on, is that...
866
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:38,600
Well, for instance,
867
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,400
he can't understand why anyone
868
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,920
would want to spend £20,000 on
a new kitchen.
869
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:44,480
And she can't understand
870
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:48,160
why anyone would want to
spend anything less.
871
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,560
Would you like to sit somewhere
more comfortable?
872
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:51,840
Sure.
873
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,520
But he goes along with it,
kind of because he has to,
874
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,840
because - let's not mince words -
875
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:01,400
she is a force to be reckoned
with, my mother.
876
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:03,320
But sometimes I look at him,
877
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,240
and he just looks...
878
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:07,040
..bewildered
879
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,320
and, erm...
880
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,080
Oh, I don't know.
881
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:13,400
Maybe sometimes he is fed
up of her.
882
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,000
It'll be jet lag.
883
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,080
Don't you think we should
wake him up
884
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:25,600
so he can get into bed?
885
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,920
I don't know -
he looks very comfortable.
886
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:29,600
Does he know where his
bedroom is?
887
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,600
Well, I showed him. Earlier.
888
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,600
I don't want him waking in the
night, wondering where he is.
889
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,360
Especially if he needs the
bathroom.
890
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,120
Does he know where the bathroom is?
Yes. He went.
891
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,720
When you both finally
decided to show up.
892
00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:45,000
I've explained why we were late.
893
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,080
Give him a nudge.
894
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,560
Ted? Mm?
895
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,600
Ted?
896
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,920
Ted! Oh, leave him.
897
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:59,360
Let's leave the side light on.
He'll be all right.
898
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:04,080
I wonder where Alice's ashes are.
Well, they'll be somewhere.
899
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:05,280
No shit, Sherlock.
900
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:08,600
Well, I imagine
they're in one of his suitcases.
901
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,880
Should we get her out,
do you think?
902
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:13,200
Put her somewhere...
More dignified?
903
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,400
Less cramped.
904
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:18,400
I don't know, I don't want
to be going through his stuff.
905
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,080
Here, shall I put this blanket
over him?
906
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,200
You can do.
907
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:25,800
Eh, Ted.
908
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:28,080
What have you been up to
this time, old lad?
909
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,000
Are you all right?
910
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,160
Alan?
911
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:39,440
Yeah.
912
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,280
Just remembering things.
913
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,080
What things?
914
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,200
Shall we get into bed?
915
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:54,960
Hmm.
916
00:45:56,840 --> 00:46:00,520
He never wanted to go
to New Zealand in first place.
917
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,320
It were my mother and dad...
made him go.
918
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:05,960
Why?
919
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,400
Well, she was pregnant. Alice.
920
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,600
They'd only been together
five minutes.
921
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,640
My mother and dad were livid.
922
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,000
And her mother and dad!
923
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,880
They wouldn't speak to her. They
wouldn't have her in the house.
924
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,480
You're joking.
925
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:24,520
Well, they thought
they were a bit of summat...
926
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:25,720
..up at church.
927
00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,920
So...
928
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,640
Oh, hell.
929
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:35,160
I remember me dad and Ted
having a fight.
930
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:39,240
A proper set-to -
shouting, me mother crying...
931
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:44,400
It was when the government were
advertising for people to emigrate.
932
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:47,040
They were desperate for people
to go over and build houses
933
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,880
and dams and roads
and all sorts.
934
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:55,480
There were a lot of incentives for
anybody that was short of work.
935
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:56,800
I remember.
936
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:58,000
Or...
937
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,480
..needed to get away.
938
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,320
So they got wed and off they went.
939
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:04,840
They made the most of it,
940
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,240
but he'd not have gone
through choice.
941
00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:11,080
And I think he felt
like they'd been banished.
942
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,680
And it wasn't fair.
943
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,640
They thought the world of
each other,
944
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,720
and they shouldn't have been
made to feel like that.
945
00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:19,920
I never realised.
946
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,040
When we visited him,
he's never said anything.
947
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:26,560
Well, like I say,
I kind of forgot about it myself.
948
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:30,640
But you get on with life, don't
you? Put a different spin on it,
949
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,800
for your own sake.
950
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:36,720
And then that becomes the truth.
951
00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:42,960
But it was when he said that he'd
brought her ashes with him...
952
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,440
..it all came back to me.
953
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:46,760
And it saddened me,
954
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:50,200
the idea that all this time
955
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:54,040
they never stopped wanting to
come back. And now they have.
956
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:56,760
Only it's too late.
957
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:58,600
She's dead, and he's...
958
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:05,120
I do think he is losing it a bit.
959
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,520
Oh, Alan.
I'll have to help him.
960
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:11,000
Shan't I? Whatever's gone on.
961
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,400
He's the only brother
I'll ever have.
962
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:19,800
HE SIGHS
963
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:24,560
No way!
964
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:27,840
Yes! No...
965
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,040
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
966
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:32,440
So I could say, "Judith,
967
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:36,640
"tell us about the time you trashed
Caroline's kitchen
968
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:39,720
"and then puked up behind
the stairs"?
969
00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:41,640
Yes, you could!
970
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:43,280
SHE SIGHS
971
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,840
It's possibly not a suitable
anecdote
972
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,280
for her adoring
adolescent acolytes,
973
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,520
but, wahey, who cares?
974
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:54,920
Oh, God, and then the first
time I met her.
975
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:57,440
Well, she fell over -
976
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:01,440
she was pissed - on some glass, and
she slit an artery in her wrist,
977
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,320
and I ended up in casualty with her.
And it was my birthday!
978
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:05,920
And it was her glass!
979
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:09,360
It was her bottle of wine
that she'd dropped!
980
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:11,480
Oh, dear.
981
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:13,840
Oh, she's a pisshead.
982
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:23,880
I am glad you're telling me this.
983
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:26,600
Cos it's making me realise
that she's just...
984
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:29,920
..a bit rubbish.
985
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:31,160
Like the rest of us.
986
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:33,000
Yes, well...
987
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:34,640
Yeah, she is.
988
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:40,440
It'll mean I'm not mumbling
incoherently when I interview her.
989
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,640
Right... How far have we got?
990
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:50,440
Oh, fuck, I can't focus any
more. I'm too pissed.
991
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:53,840
Well, we can... We'll pick it up
in the morning. It's fine.
992
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:55,920
You'll be fine,
you've got loads.
993
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:57,120
God.
994
00:49:58,640 --> 00:49:59,840
BOTH SIGH
995
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:03,480
Are you all right?
996
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:06,080
Yeah.
997
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:07,520
SHE CHUCKLES
998
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:11,360
Oh, God, it is just so nice...
999
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,600
..not being in that house
with him.
1000
00:50:19,720 --> 00:50:21,240
Is it?
1001
00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:22,640
Yeah.
1002
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:23,680
Mm.
1003
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,680
Wow.
1004
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:35,280
I'm going to be nosey.
1005
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:36,680
Mm?
1006
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:40,200
How does Flora fit into...?
1007
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:43,120
Because she's not John's.
1008
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,160
No. Oh, God, no.
1009
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:52,800
So you had a fling with...?
1010
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,600
Well, no. No, I didn't.
1011
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:57,680
Erm... No. Flora's, erm...
1012
00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:59,360
Well, I kind of did.
1013
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:02,480
So after John went off with
her, I, erm...
1014
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:05,320
SHE SIGHS
1015
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:08,640
I got married again.
1016
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:09,960
OK.
1017
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:11,360
To who?
1018
00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:15,440
To Kate.
1019
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:16,720
And, er...
1020
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,600
That's Kate.
1021
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:22,240
There.
1022
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:28,440
And...
1023
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:31,760
..Kate wanted a baby, so...
1024
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,720
We got pregnant.
Well, she did.
1025
00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:40,040
And then she was knocked
down...
1026
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:42,520
..and killed.
1027
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,240
She was pregnant -
eight and a half months.
1028
00:51:45,240 --> 00:51:48,000
They managed to save Flora,
but not her.
1029
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,040
It happened the day
after we got married.
1030
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,680
We got married on the Saturday.
That happened on the Sunday.
1031
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:56,520
No...
1032
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:58,000
Five years ago.
1033
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:01,960
So you're...?
1034
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,560
I didn't realise that you were...
1035
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:10,080
Bereaved?
1036
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:11,360
Gay.
1037
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:14,480
Oh.
1038
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,680
Oh, well, no!
1039
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,000
Neither did I, but, er...
Well, I did.
1040
00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:27,560
I didn't advertise it,
particularly, but I've never...
1041
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,080
..hidden it either. If I was with
someone, it would be more obvious,
1042
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,200
but I'm not now, so...
1043
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,240
Sorry, I thought you...
1044
00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:37,440
..did know.
1045
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:40,560
Wow. Gosh.
1046
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,400
That is a tragic thing
to have happened.
1047
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:49,760
Mm.
1048
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:55,400
I'm sorry.
1049
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,920
Listen, I'm not feeling too good.
1050
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:02,320
OK.
1051
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:05,960
I think I've drunk too much.
1052
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:08,320
I...I have drunk too much.
1053
00:53:10,240 --> 00:53:11,440
I might go to bed.
1054
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:14,000
Sure.
1055
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:15,080
It's, erm...
1056
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:20,200
It's just at the top of the
stairs, far end.
1057
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:23,680
Would you like some water? No.
1058
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,680
Actually, why don't I ring
for a taxi?
1059
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:30,160
Oh, you don't have to.
1060
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:31,440
No, but...
1061
00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:35,600
Saturday night, you'd be lucky to
get one if you...
1062
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:39,400
Well, if it hasn't been
booked. I had no idea.
1063
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:41,400
Is it a problem?
1064
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:43,760
No! God, no.
1065
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,160
Why would it be?
1066
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:47,120
No, just...
1067
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:49,960
I just thought you knew.
1068
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:51,320
No.
1069
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:54,680
It's not why I invited you
here. Is that why you thought
1070
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:56,760
I wanted to come here?
You thought that I'm...?
1071
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,280
No!
1072
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:01,400
No!
1073
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:08,960
Why don't I make us some coffee?
1074
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:10,240
Yeah.
1075
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:25,800
RAIN DRIPS
1076
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:30,360
THUNDER RUMBLES
1077
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:47,960
Bastard.
1078
00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:57,000
GUNSHOT, ALL GASP
1079
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:00,640
What was that?
1080
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:02,600
Some dumb bastard shooting.
1081
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:10,760
Morning. What you doing?
1082
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:12,600
Foxes.
1083
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:14,200
Pestering sheep.
1084
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:21,400
Sleep OK?
MIA AND ALYSSA: No.
1085
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:25,560
There's coffee and bacon on the go
in the kitchen if you're hungry.
1086
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:26,760
Right.
1087
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:48,640
BANGING
1088
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:49,840
DOG WHIMPERS
1089
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:51,480
DOG BARKS
1090
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:01,480
SHE GROANS
1091
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:04,200
DOOR CLOSES
1092
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:15,360
Shit.
1093
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,520
KNOCKS AT DOOR
1094
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,320
Ted?
1095
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:47,680
Would you like a cup of tea?
1096
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:08,480
Where is he?
1097
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:09,920
Who?
1098
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:11,040
Is he outside?
1099
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,200
Who? Ted!
1100
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:14,880
I've no idea.
1101
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:16,800
Did you open these doors?
1102
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:19,080
No.
1103
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:20,280
Where is he?
1104
00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:22,800
Where the hell is he?
1105
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:25,840
Ted!
1106
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:28,640
Ted!
1107
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:30,480
THUNDER CRASHES, CELIA GASPS
1108
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:39,720
Make it a fiver, and I'll make
sure nobody touches your car.
1109
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,560
And I know you'd be upset
if it got scratched.
1110
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:43,760
Well, ring the police.
1111
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:46,880
Obviously, that's exactly
what needs to happen next.
1112
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,480
You're 50-odd. I'm 38.
1113
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,120
Look at yourself.
1114
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:53,480
JOHN: Don't humiliate Caroline.
1115
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:56,080
JUDITH: Don't tell me
how to behave.
1116
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:58,920
When I saw John today, I realised
that I almost miss him.
1117
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:00,760
Hello.
1118
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:04,600
Fuck off! Sheep farming...
1119
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:06,840
Just...don't...
73664
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