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1
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Cabbage Soup
2
00:02:18,235 --> 00:02:21,610
The village was a
village of the Bourbonnais.
3
00:02:22,485 --> 00:02:29,485
As this discrete Bourbonnais hadn't carved for itself
a war name in history, like Alsace or Lorraine,
4
00:02:30,111 --> 00:02:33,028
it was mistaken, for
instance, for Burgundy
5
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:36,762
just as, long ago, Piraeus (Greek
port) was mistaken for a man,
6
00:02:37,028 --> 00:02:39,903
and my aunt's pendants for my uncle's.
7
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,779
In short, the village
was the worse for it.
8
00:02:44,363 --> 00:02:46,529
To put it bluntly, back on white,
9
00:02:46,738 --> 00:02:50,238
there was nothing left in
the village, less than nothing.
10
00:02:50,572 --> 00:02:51,472
Or, rather, yes...
11
00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:54,029
There still survived, by hook or by crook,
12
00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:55,763
in the hamlet of Les Gourdiflots,
13
00:02:56,614 --> 00:03:00,406
two exotics, two fossils
from the dawn of time,
14
00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:02,031
two pathetic creatures.
15
00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:05,990
The first of these Last of the Mohicans,
16
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,198
of these tanned, wine-soaked dried fruits,
17
00:03:10,282 --> 00:03:13,199
of these curiosities from another time,
18
00:03:13,866 --> 00:03:18,200
rejected by technology and
even the combustion engine,
19
00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:21,908
the first, then, of these
two Druids of the wine goblet
20
00:03:22,242 --> 00:03:24,283
was called Francis Cherasse,
21
00:03:24,867 --> 00:03:26,449
nicknamed Le Bombe (the bulgy one)
22
00:03:26,533 --> 00:03:30,534
for the hunch that endowed his features.
23
00:03:32,243 --> 00:03:34,743
The second one was Claude Ratinier...
24
00:03:35,284 --> 00:03:37,685
Le Glaude, as he was
called in the neighborhood.
25
00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:39,410
Le Glaude with a G.
26
00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:42,950
No, I don't want any, I don't want any...
27
00:03:43,034 --> 00:03:44,075
It's only a fly...
28
00:03:44,159 --> 00:03:45,535
If you're afraid it'll plug up your ass...
29
00:03:45,619 --> 00:03:47,069
I don't care about the fly...
30
00:03:47,203 --> 00:03:50,036
even flies would do me less
harm than wine, with what I've got!
31
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,820
What have you got since yesterday?
32
00:03:52,953 --> 00:03:54,078
Well? What?
33
00:03:54,746 --> 00:03:55,577
I have diabetes
34
00:03:55,661 --> 00:03:57,038
How did you find out?
35
00:03:57,122 --> 00:03:58,079
In the paper
36
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,078
They talk about your
diabetes in "The Mountain"?
37
00:04:00,162 --> 00:04:02,828
No, my lad, they talk about
it in general in an article
38
00:04:02,912 --> 00:04:05,330
but there's some
particular in that general...
39
00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:06,496
So what?
40
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,663
What d'you mean, so what!!
41
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,746
My Aunt Augustine, who
had diabetes in every corner,
42
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,430
they took out one of her eyes...
43
00:04:12,705 --> 00:04:13,705
...she died.
44
00:04:13,789 --> 00:04:16,538
My first cousin, Benoit
Clou, he was tiny, like this...
45
00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:18,663
he was big, fat, broad,
strong, like that...
46
00:04:18,747 --> 00:04:20,704
well, he too got lucky with diabetes!
47
00:04:20,788 --> 00:04:22,088
So they took out an eye...
48
00:04:24,707 --> 00:04:25,289
...he died.
49
00:04:25,373 --> 00:04:27,582
So, for me, 1+1, that makes... two.
50
00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:29,665
Well, confidence for confidence...
51
00:04:30,332 --> 00:04:33,582
I have two uncles who died back in 1914...
52
00:04:33,666 --> 00:04:34,707
Really?
53
00:04:34,791 --> 00:04:36,791
...that'll never happen to me! So drink!
54
00:04:36,916 --> 00:04:37,706
Come on... Drink up! Drink up!
55
00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:38,833
I mustn't drink anymore...
56
00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:41,876
Never... never, I'm off to the doctor.
57
00:04:44,292 --> 00:04:47,084
Well... that's not the end of it...
58
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:57,377
You can have one glassful, Mr. Ratinier...
59
00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,378
Per meal?
60
00:04:59,503 --> 00:05:01,169
Oh no! Per day!!
61
00:05:03,419 --> 00:05:05,669
How much have you been drinking everyday?
62
00:05:06,253 --> 00:05:08,879
I don't know... 5 or 6
liters... like Le Bombe!
63
00:05:08,963 --> 00:05:10,712
What? You're crazy!
64
00:05:18,755 --> 00:05:20,587
I should never have read this paper...
65
00:05:20,671 --> 00:05:23,337
Anyway, we knew it's
just lies in the papers...
66
00:05:23,421 --> 00:05:26,213
...bullshit from politicians
just to upset people...
67
00:05:31,172 --> 00:05:35,965
Well, with all that, old
man, you've made me late...
68
00:05:37,215 --> 00:05:38,840
The hour is the hour...
69
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,840
...and... it's the hour
of the "perniflard"...
70
00:05:45,174 --> 00:05:47,716
I'm going to pour myself a wee drop...
71
00:05:49,299 --> 00:05:51,799
if the smell doesn't
bother you, with your diet...
72
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:32,138
Hey, "Le Glaude"... my
water, without boasting...
73
00:06:32,763 --> 00:06:38,721
it's the best around here... for
soup... and for the "perniflard"!
74
00:06:39,888 --> 00:06:43,680
There is underneath a phreatic layer...
75
00:06:44,139 --> 00:06:46,439
there's nothing like it
in the whole region...
76
00:06:47,305 --> 00:06:50,598
When I think you got rid
of your well for tap water...
77
00:06:50,806 --> 00:06:52,847
...I want to crawl out
of my pants in reverse!
78
00:06:52,931 --> 00:06:55,306
But you know perfectly well that
my Francine wanted it on the sink...
79
00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:57,722
Women, they need the latest
modern comforts these days...
80
00:06:57,806 --> 00:07:00,307
Ah... they even want
equality, those females...
81
00:07:00,891 --> 00:07:02,431
They'll be cute, their little boys...
82
00:07:02,515 --> 00:07:03,931
...if they create them
all by themselves...
83
00:07:04,015 --> 00:07:05,765
with all kind of shots somewhere...
84
00:07:06,849 --> 00:07:08,598
They'll be giving birth to seahorses...
85
00:07:08,682 --> 00:07:10,182
like those found in puddles...
86
00:07:11,225 --> 00:07:12,517
or to diabetics...
87
00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:15,308
El Glaude...
88
00:07:15,517 --> 00:07:16,558
El Glaude...
89
00:07:17,684 --> 00:07:18,518
El Glaude...
90
00:07:19,601 --> 00:07:20,434
My water...
91
00:07:21,559 --> 00:07:24,226
it has a temperature of great precision...
92
00:07:24,559 --> 00:07:25,768
for the "perniflard"...
93
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,310
within 1 degree...
94
00:07:29,935 --> 00:07:32,485
If it's icy cold, it slices
through your stomach...
95
00:07:32,644 --> 00:07:35,770
but this one... it
slides down your guts...
96
00:07:35,936 --> 00:07:38,978
like the morning dew
on the leaves... look!
97
00:07:40,228 --> 00:07:41,228
Take a look...
98
00:07:43,936 --> 00:07:45,487
Oh, that was good, my Glaude...
99
00:07:45,937 --> 00:07:46,979
Look!
100
00:08:15,565 --> 00:08:18,565
I say, my Bombe, it's
still in our little corner,
101
00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:19,774
far from evil-doers,
102
00:08:20,107 --> 00:08:23,525
that we can best wait for death.
103
00:08:24,191 --> 00:08:26,274
I, for one, will never end
up in an old-age home
104
00:08:26,358 --> 00:08:27,858
I'd rather drown in my own well
105
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,650
like any true well-digger should!
106
00:08:30,025 --> 00:08:32,900
That's it, and I should club myself
to death on the head with a shoe,
107
00:08:32,984 --> 00:08:35,151
like all true shoemakers should! Nonsense!
108
00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:22,864
It's unbearable...
109
00:09:23,989 --> 00:09:25,406
We need a change of air!
110
00:09:30,365 --> 00:09:32,532
Oh maman... oh mon Gla...
111
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:33,948
I'm being poisoned!
112
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:37,283
What's going on inside!...Oh mon Gla!
113
00:09:45,909 --> 00:09:49,284
Oh... this one I danced
over and over with Francine!
114
00:09:49,825 --> 00:09:52,825
Light as a butterfly was
she, the poor little child...
115
00:09:53,576 --> 00:09:55,676
when we danced on Saint-Hyppolite's day...
116
00:09:55,951 --> 00:09:57,851
or on St. Peter's or our Lady's day...
117
00:09:58,326 --> 00:10:01,493
everywhere... only parties and dancing!
118
00:10:07,244 --> 00:10:09,952
Now, my Cicisse... no more waltzes...
119
00:10:10,119 --> 00:10:12,828
only two knights, as stupid as the moon...
120
00:10:13,037 --> 00:10:14,162
under the moon!
121
00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:17,244
You're not going to start crying...
122
00:10:17,328 --> 00:10:19,453
you... old chimpanzee...
123
00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:22,163
But I miss her, my Francine...
124
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:25,871
What do you want... women
only happen to the living...
125
00:10:28,163 --> 00:10:29,079
Take a look!
126
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,497
They're really beautiful, the stars!
127
00:10:32,747 --> 00:10:35,121
They say there are millions
and millions and millions...
128
00:10:35,205 --> 00:10:36,246
Just listen to this!
129
00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:37,455
Just listen to this!
130
00:13:41,725 --> 00:13:43,185
Come on, get in!
131
00:13:47,351 --> 00:13:48,601
What brings you here?
132
00:13:49,601 --> 00:13:50,726
Hey, Le Glaude...
133
00:13:50,893 --> 00:13:51,852
Get up!
134
00:13:52,394 --> 00:13:53,227
Come and see!
135
00:13:53,894 --> 00:13:55,977
There's a flying saucer in your field!
136
00:13:57,811 --> 00:13:58,769
What have you done?
137
00:13:58,936 --> 00:14:00,977
What terrible thing have you done?
138
00:14:03,437 --> 00:14:05,853
You've murdered him,
you accursed assassin!
139
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,603
You've massacred my best friend!
140
00:14:13,063 --> 00:14:14,188
He's asleep!
141
00:14:21,522 --> 00:14:23,897
But why did you come here, to my home...
142
00:14:24,105 --> 00:14:25,255
and not somewhere else?
143
00:14:27,522 --> 00:14:29,731
But if you don't tell me...
144
00:14:29,815 --> 00:14:32,022
I'll never know where
you've escaped from...
145
00:14:32,106 --> 00:14:34,398
you old Denree (foodstuff)?
146
00:15:09,694 --> 00:15:11,401
...they're really beautiful, the stars!
147
00:15:11,485 --> 00:15:14,025
...they say there are millions
and millions and millions
148
00:15:14,109 --> 00:15:16,410
...just listen to
this!...just listen to this!
149
00:15:28,696 --> 00:15:30,321
It's me and Le Bombe!
150
00:15:31,779 --> 00:15:33,572
You've heard us fart from up there?
151
00:15:36,613 --> 00:15:39,113
But what did you think...
that we were calling you?
152
00:15:42,114 --> 00:15:43,323
Really?
153
00:15:45,406 --> 00:15:47,821
Well, if you can't fart under the stars anymore
without a Martian falling on your head...
154
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,281
...they'll be arriving by the wagonfuls!
155
00:15:50,698 --> 00:15:52,490
Sacre nom di Diou!
156
00:15:52,615 --> 00:15:55,907
You've given me a terrible
thirst with all your antics!
157
00:16:22,868 --> 00:16:26,160
Well, old Denree, we're in
France... bottoms up!...hop!
158
00:16:27,202 --> 00:16:28,035
Come on!
159
00:16:29,161 --> 00:16:31,119
You don't like wine?...Your loss!
160
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:40,328
Now excuse me, pal... if it's
only when we burp or fart...
161
00:16:40,412 --> 00:16:42,620
that you understand us,
we won't be chatting much!
162
00:16:42,704 --> 00:16:45,245
First of all, Le Bombe
and I only fart outside...
163
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:46,420
...we have manners...
164
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:47,996
We've been to restaurants!
165
00:16:50,371 --> 00:16:52,471
But wait a minute!...you're not thirsty...
166
00:16:52,913 --> 00:16:55,863
You're dying of hunger and
you're ashamed to ask! Let's go!
167
00:16:56,622 --> 00:16:58,497
Look! This is cabbage soup!
168
00:16:58,581 --> 00:16:59,372
The real thing!
169
00:16:59,456 --> 00:17:01,206
Made with my own cabbage...
170
00:17:01,372 --> 00:17:04,539
...a spring variety: the "hasty bacalan"!
171
00:17:10,457 --> 00:17:11,832
My lad, let's dig in!
172
00:17:18,874 --> 00:17:22,874
Now we wait a little, till
it soaks up the broth...
173
00:17:47,211 --> 00:17:49,085
Never a dull moment with you, La Denree!
174
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,961
When I fart, you land on
us from God knows where...
175
00:17:52,045 --> 00:17:54,170
and when I smoke, you crash on the floor!
176
00:17:54,254 --> 00:17:55,128
Come on!
177
00:18:11,964 --> 00:18:15,339
My cabbage soup, laddie,
perfumes your innards...
178
00:18:15,505 --> 00:18:17,712
...makes you feel good
along every inch of your guts...
179
00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:18,797
It sticks to the body...
180
00:18:18,881 --> 00:18:21,673
...it even does nice things to the head!
181
00:18:21,923 --> 00:18:24,273
Shall I tell you? It makes
you a better person!
182
00:18:58,635 --> 00:19:01,969
OK, buddy, you're all
set for the road! Let's go!
183
00:19:07,595 --> 00:19:09,511
Ah... you want to take some away?
184
00:19:09,928 --> 00:19:11,678
That's very easy, come along!
185
00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:26,097
See... with this you can go
for miles without losing a drop!
186
00:19:47,099 --> 00:19:48,640
Cabbage soup!
187
00:19:49,599 --> 00:19:52,350
Cabbage soup, my laddie!
188
00:20:14,268 --> 00:20:16,435
I'll step out with you...
189
00:20:23,519 --> 00:20:24,394
Let's go...
190
00:20:45,981 --> 00:20:48,564
So that's it, my old Denree...
191
00:20:48,689 --> 00:20:49,772
Bon voyage!
192
00:20:53,397 --> 00:20:54,690
Shake hands!
193
00:20:57,565 --> 00:20:58,356
Shake hands...
194
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,340
That's it... like this... like this...
195
00:21:01,982 --> 00:21:04,816
And come back soon, La
Denree, you're a good guy!
196
00:21:38,194 --> 00:21:40,861
El Glaude! There's a
flying saucer in your field!
197
00:21:40,945 --> 00:21:43,529
El Glaude! There's a
flying saucer in your field!
198
00:21:43,613 --> 00:21:45,278
Don't scream like that!
199
00:21:45,445 --> 00:21:49,445
I'm telling you... there's a
saucer... There! In your field!
200
00:21:49,904 --> 00:21:52,570
What's with your saucer?
First, what saucer?
201
00:21:52,654 --> 00:21:54,321
Flying... a flying saucer!
202
00:21:54,654 --> 00:21:56,737
You've never heard of flying saucers?
203
00:21:56,821 --> 00:21:58,029
But they don't exist, flying saucers!
204
00:21:58,113 --> 00:21:59,155
How much do you bet... 1 liter?
205
00:21:59,239 --> 00:21:59,738
Three!
206
00:21:59,822 --> 00:22:01,155
Three! You said three liters! Bet's on!
207
00:22:01,239 --> 00:22:01,906
Three liters!
208
00:22:01,990 --> 00:22:03,614
I had to pee...
209
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:06,196
It was warm, so I said to
myself: go pee outside...
210
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,655
...it'll be a change from the potty...
211
00:22:07,739 --> 00:22:09,530
I step out and I see a saucer...
212
00:22:09,614 --> 00:22:10,664
there, in your field!
213
00:22:11,073 --> 00:22:13,323
I couldn't pee anymore
and I ran to warn you.
214
00:22:19,157 --> 00:22:20,407
Where is it, your saucer?
215
00:22:23,616 --> 00:22:24,741
So, show it to me...
216
00:22:29,325 --> 00:22:30,492
It's gone...
217
00:22:35,993 --> 00:22:38,201
You had a nightmare... it happens...
218
00:22:38,951 --> 00:22:40,534
What did you eat for supper yesterday?
219
00:22:40,618 --> 00:22:41,576
Pig's foot...
220
00:22:42,784 --> 00:22:45,077
Nothing heavier on the stomach!
221
00:22:45,327 --> 00:22:48,619
So... your flying saucer... pig's foot!
222
00:22:54,620 --> 00:22:58,203
It was... it was white as chrome...
223
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,536
...at least 3 to 4 meters wide...it...
224
00:23:01,995 --> 00:23:04,121
...was round like cow's cheese...
225
00:23:04,996 --> 00:23:07,371
...it was beautiful...like
a female's tit...
226
00:23:07,829 --> 00:23:09,162
It was right here...
227
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,371
What are you looking for?
228
00:23:14,455 --> 00:23:16,996
What did you find? Want
a teeny-weeny spade?
229
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,538
Merde! It was here, I'll
never forget, it was here!
230
00:23:20,622 --> 00:23:21,872
Here, here, here!
231
00:23:21,956 --> 00:23:24,123
My little Cicisse, you drink too much!
232
00:23:24,207 --> 00:23:25,122
Go to hell!
233
00:23:25,206 --> 00:23:26,788
First you see saucers...
234
00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:29,789
and you end up seeing
rats all over your bedspread!
235
00:23:29,998 --> 00:23:32,331
Go to hell, I'm telling you, I
didn't have a drop more than usual!
236
00:23:32,415 --> 00:23:34,415
That's it! I'm going back to bed!
237
00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:38,032
I won't spend the night
galloping after Martians!
238
00:23:39,875 --> 00:23:40,833
Merde!
239
00:23:44,750 --> 00:23:47,250
And don't forget you owe me 3 liters!
240
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:50,792
3 liters of piss... 3
liters of piss you'll get!
241
00:23:55,917 --> 00:23:57,167
Last night...
242
00:23:58,167 --> 00:23:59,543
...around 1 a.m...
243
00:24:00,585 --> 00:24:02,459
...I felt a pressing need...
244
00:24:02,543 --> 00:24:03,585
and I...
245
00:24:03,793 --> 00:24:05,377
I stepped outside...
246
00:24:06,793 --> 00:24:07,835
and I saw...
247
00:24:07,919 --> 00:24:09,378
...a flying saucer!
248
00:24:14,169 --> 00:24:15,086
Excuse me...
249
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,754
I'm Mrs. Poulangeard's brother...
250
00:24:23,254 --> 00:24:29,046
I'm asking you not to believe one
word of her flying saucer story...
251
00:24:29,505 --> 00:24:31,796
She's crazy inside out!
252
00:24:31,921 --> 00:24:33,463
Is that so?
253
00:24:35,172 --> 00:24:36,922
Thank you!
254
00:24:39,922 --> 00:24:42,422
Well... we're going to
take down your statement...
255
00:24:43,464 --> 00:24:44,297
Hi, buddy...
256
00:24:45,965 --> 00:24:46,923
He's in, the Chief?
257
00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:48,173
One minute, he's busy.
258
00:24:48,715 --> 00:24:49,765
It won't be too long?
259
00:25:20,218 --> 00:25:21,869
I'm taking down your statement...
260
00:25:22,302 --> 00:25:24,511
Last night... aroud 1 a.m...
261
00:25:24,927 --> 00:25:26,386
...I felt a pressing need...
262
00:25:27,011 --> 00:25:28,219
Is that so?
263
00:25:29,136 --> 00:25:31,095
And... and you saw a flying saucer...
264
00:25:31,179 --> 00:25:32,178
Well, yes...
265
00:25:33,928 --> 00:25:38,595
Last night, at 1 a.m., a resident of Les
Gourdiflots, Mrs. Amelie Poulangeard...
266
00:25:39,554 --> 00:25:43,054
...who felt a pressing
need...stepped out of her home...
267
00:25:43,304 --> 00:25:45,262
and saw a flying saucer...
268
00:25:45,346 --> 00:25:47,721
Oh, good, she's crazy to the bone!
269
00:25:47,971 --> 00:25:49,305
Precisely!
270
00:25:49,389 --> 00:25:51,289
If a simpleton sees a flying saucer...
271
00:25:51,764 --> 00:25:54,222
it is quite evident that,
a few meters away...
272
00:25:54,389 --> 00:25:58,681
a certified drunk... will
be sure to see one too...
273
00:25:58,765 --> 00:25:59,931
...of those saucers!
274
00:26:01,306 --> 00:26:05,181
Well... go on, you're
dismissed... Mr. Cherasse!
275
00:26:05,681 --> 00:26:06,807
Ah, nom de Dieu!
276
00:26:07,141 --> 00:26:08,641
Ah, nom di Diou, for sure...
277
00:26:56,229 --> 00:26:59,687
Well then, old man, they say
you've seen a flying saucer...?
278
00:26:59,771 --> 00:27:00,937
Of course I saw it!
279
00:27:01,146 --> 00:27:02,022
Sure, I saw it...
280
00:27:02,313 --> 00:27:03,146
Oh yes!
281
00:27:03,230 --> 00:27:05,730
Did it have stripes or dots?
282
00:27:07,980 --> 00:27:09,145
It... it was polished...
283
00:27:09,229 --> 00:27:12,023
Oh sure! Too polished to
be honest...! (French saying)
284
00:27:13,731 --> 00:27:16,939
It was smooth... like a
Champagne bucket...
285
00:27:17,939 --> 00:27:19,356
Oh... just get off my back!
286
00:28:10,904 --> 00:28:13,404
It's for you, my Francine,
a beautiful geranium...
287
00:28:14,154 --> 00:28:15,736
Well, apart from that, no news...
288
00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:17,280
...What could be new?
289
00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:20,280
When things aren't
OK, you've got to cope...
290
00:28:20,364 --> 00:28:23,071
Aah... a Martian dropped in...
291
00:28:23,530 --> 00:28:27,239
No, not a drop... I did drink...
I didn't drink at all, I swear!
292
00:28:27,406 --> 00:28:29,904
Ever since you passed away, I haven't
had a single "canon" (glass of wine)...
293
00:28:29,988 --> 00:28:32,614
and for the "pern...",
well... I'll... OK... good...
294
00:28:33,364 --> 00:28:36,240
OK, listen... see you one of
these mornings and have fun!
295
00:28:37,448 --> 00:28:38,823
...have fun!
296
00:28:48,699 --> 00:28:50,532
Can't you think about anything else?
297
00:28:50,616 --> 00:28:51,824
No!
298
00:28:51,908 --> 00:28:53,866
It's eating you, eh?
299
00:28:53,950 --> 00:28:55,159
Sure it's eating me!
300
00:28:55,742 --> 00:28:57,657
I look like an asshole all over Jaligny!
301
00:28:57,741 --> 00:28:59,157
You always looked like one!
302
00:28:59,241 --> 00:29:01,141
Could be, but now they have reasons...
303
00:29:01,576 --> 00:29:03,450
Shall I tell them that I
saw the saucer too...
304
00:29:03,534 --> 00:29:05,493
so that we'll both look like morons!
305
00:29:05,618 --> 00:29:07,033
Oh, you're a good guy,
but it's a waste of time...
306
00:29:07,117 --> 00:29:08,200
Come on, have a "canon"!
307
00:29:08,284 --> 00:29:09,700
All right, then I'll hang myself!
308
00:29:09,784 --> 00:29:11,160
You're not going to hang yourself!
309
00:29:11,244 --> 00:29:13,826
My Lulu, better death than dishonor...
310
00:29:13,910 --> 00:29:16,285
You have no right to
terminate yourself, Francis!
311
00:29:16,369 --> 00:29:18,640
It's the first time you
use my first name...
312
00:29:18,724 --> 00:29:20,620
You have family, neighbors, friends...
313
00:29:20,704 --> 00:29:22,994
I am all of those all by myself!
314
00:29:23,078 --> 00:29:24,628
Ah, you think only of yourself!
315
00:29:25,328 --> 00:29:27,766
I'm going through hell
and you don't give a damn!
316
00:29:27,850 --> 00:29:31,371
What you want is for me to
be your buffoon, your slave,
317
00:29:31,788 --> 00:29:34,204
so you can make fun of my
hump, because I saw a saucer...
318
00:29:34,288 --> 00:29:35,371
Come on, let's have a "canon"!
319
00:29:35,455 --> 00:29:36,788
I'm not thirsty!
320
00:29:45,205 --> 00:29:46,539
I want to be left alone!
321
00:31:12,049 --> 00:31:13,174
Le Bombe!
322
00:31:13,924 --> 00:31:14,965
Le Bombe!
323
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,132
What are you up to?
324
00:31:23,383 --> 00:31:24,591
Le Bombe!
325
00:31:43,593 --> 00:31:45,260
You could answer when I call...
326
00:31:48,094 --> 00:31:49,678
It's to make you worry...
327
00:31:50,594 --> 00:31:54,261
you thought I was black as a
lump of coal, hanging from a rope...
328
00:31:54,469 --> 00:31:57,845
You ought to be slapped, you phony...
329
00:31:58,554 --> 00:31:59,928
You'd hit me, wouldn't you...?!
330
00:32:00,012 --> 00:32:00,928
Don't you worry...
331
00:32:01,012 --> 00:32:03,929
You would beat me up,
like the gendarmes did...
332
00:32:05,263 --> 00:32:06,804
They beat you up, the gendarmes?
333
00:32:06,888 --> 00:32:08,055
Like a punching-ball...
334
00:32:10,138 --> 00:32:12,387
You know they beat up
everybody, the gendarmes...
335
00:32:12,471 --> 00:32:13,596
I... I didn't know...
336
00:32:13,805 --> 00:32:15,847
Oh yes... they get bonuses for that.
337
00:32:16,972 --> 00:32:21,306
Yes, my Glaude, they didn't
hesitate to hit a handicapped man...
338
00:32:23,264 --> 00:32:24,307
I'm going to tell the Mayor...
339
00:32:24,391 --> 00:32:25,848
Don't do that!
340
00:32:27,682 --> 00:32:28,765
I forgive them...
341
00:32:30,182 --> 00:32:31,532
they know not what they do.
342
00:32:36,766 --> 00:32:38,349
You! You're making a fool of me!
343
00:32:38,433 --> 00:32:42,017
Well, I'm going to
prepare... your little bow tie!
344
00:33:20,813 --> 00:33:22,604
Go ahead, hang yourself, it's ready...
345
00:33:22,688 --> 00:33:25,854
You can swing all you
want, deadmeat, it's strong!
346
00:33:27,271 --> 00:33:28,564
You go hang yourself!
347
00:33:29,064 --> 00:33:30,914
I don't march to anybody's whistle...
348
00:33:31,105 --> 00:33:32,855
I'll hang myself whenever I please!
349
00:34:01,983 --> 00:34:04,358
Aaah... Thank you, my little Guillaume!
350
00:34:04,442 --> 00:34:06,109
Come on in for a drink!
351
00:34:08,776 --> 00:34:11,817
I never offer any to your
colleagues, their ass is always on fire!
352
00:34:11,901 --> 00:34:13,151
I saw you on your pottie!
353
00:34:15,194 --> 00:34:17,150
Let's have a pot, but
not from the same one!
354
00:34:17,234 --> 00:34:18,484
That shouldn't take long!
355
00:34:24,945 --> 00:34:27,069
They say that Le Bombe
has seen a saucer...
356
00:34:27,153 --> 00:34:29,402
He's batty... Everybody's
making fun of him!
357
00:34:29,486 --> 00:34:30,820
Not surprising!
358
00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,821
Now he wants to hang himself!
359
00:34:34,654 --> 00:34:36,321
That's not too good...
360
00:34:40,779 --> 00:34:43,155
Sometimes... they really do it!
361
00:35:03,657 --> 00:35:06,449
Have you finished spying
on me, ass-skinned face!
362
00:35:07,199 --> 00:35:09,656
Soon you'll be following
me to the toilet, if it goes on!
363
00:35:09,740 --> 00:35:12,906
I don't give a damn about you,
I came to see your vegetables!
364
00:35:12,990 --> 00:35:14,240
Well, they're downstairs!
365
00:35:14,741 --> 00:35:18,450
You see, on mine there
are slugs... slugs this big!
366
00:35:18,534 --> 00:35:20,742
Eat them, that's what you can do!
367
00:35:44,994 --> 00:35:48,662
Oh, Le Glaude! Help me, I'm dead!
368
00:35:51,454 --> 00:35:54,537
Help me, El Glaude! Oh, nom de Dieu!
369
00:35:55,830 --> 00:35:56,829
I'm coming!
370
00:35:56,913 --> 00:35:57,955
Let me die!
371
00:35:58,538 --> 00:36:00,238
What's happening to you, Le Bombe?
372
00:36:04,081 --> 00:36:07,831
I... I destroyed myself...
but the rope snapped!
373
00:36:08,664 --> 00:36:11,789
I broke my kidneys... like crystal!
374
00:36:12,372 --> 00:36:14,165
I'm going to die, Le Glaude!
375
00:36:15,873 --> 00:36:16,998
Ow, my ass hurts!
376
00:36:19,457 --> 00:36:20,832
Oh my God, my ass hurts!
377
00:36:22,999 --> 00:36:24,208
What's the matter?
378
00:36:25,166 --> 00:36:26,708
I can't breathe!
379
00:36:28,541 --> 00:36:30,624
You know... I could've killed myself!
380
00:36:30,874 --> 00:36:32,290
Call the fire brigade!
381
00:36:32,374 --> 00:36:33,424
Why? Are you thirsty?
382
00:36:34,084 --> 00:36:35,750
Oh my God... I feel bad!
383
00:36:37,584 --> 00:36:40,960
You know what? My hump has burst!
384
00:36:41,293 --> 00:36:43,501
My hump has burst, I
can't feel it anymore!
385
00:36:43,585 --> 00:36:45,835
No, calm down... it's still
there, you won't be disfigured!
386
00:36:45,919 --> 00:36:46,960
It's there?
387
00:36:47,501 --> 00:36:49,551
You see, you're not in a thousand pieces!
388
00:36:50,002 --> 00:36:50,961
Come on, let's go!
389
00:36:51,045 --> 00:36:52,586
Geez, it hurts!
390
00:36:54,961 --> 00:36:56,169
My ass is all sliced up!
391
00:36:58,877 --> 00:37:01,170
My buttocks went into my stomach!
392
00:37:03,337 --> 00:37:04,462
Careful now!
393
00:37:14,088 --> 00:37:16,588
Oh no, not there, Claude, not there!
394
00:37:17,589 --> 00:37:18,964
Oh, my Glaude!
395
00:37:19,464 --> 00:37:22,089
Makes you thirsty to tie
a noose round the neck...
396
00:37:31,590 --> 00:37:33,047
Oh, that's so good!
397
00:37:33,131 --> 00:37:37,216
Oh, my Claude, for sure it's
the first and last time I ever die!
398
00:37:38,466 --> 00:37:42,716
But I was conscious, I saw
that flying saucer, I saw it!
399
00:37:42,882 --> 00:37:44,674
With mine own eye's!
400
00:37:45,092 --> 00:37:46,217
We fart, Cicisse!
401
00:37:47,175 --> 00:37:48,800
We fart like the other night!
402
00:37:50,675 --> 00:37:53,133
You need to fart? Is
your ass all screwed up?
403
00:37:53,300 --> 00:37:55,384
We have to fart!
404
00:37:57,093 --> 00:37:58,968
Fart already, nom di Diou!
405
00:38:00,009 --> 00:38:01,343
But I'm not up to it...
406
00:38:02,259 --> 00:38:04,219
I'm not in the mood for that!
407
00:38:13,553 --> 00:38:14,761
We have to fart!
408
00:38:31,597 --> 00:38:33,555
Oh, my poor Cicisse...
409
00:38:44,889 --> 00:38:47,056
You shouldn't have done it!
410
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:04,266
Easy now!
411
00:39:04,350 --> 00:39:05,891
Let me give you a peck!
412
00:39:09,684 --> 00:39:11,726
Another peck!
413
00:39:14,892 --> 00:39:16,434
And another peck!
414
00:41:40,992 --> 00:41:45,366
It's been nights and nights that I've been
waiting for you to come down have a chat with me
415
00:41:45,450 --> 00:41:47,118
with your turkey noises...
416
00:41:50,451 --> 00:41:52,076
I'm here, Mr. Ratinier!
417
00:41:52,701 --> 00:41:54,285
You talk?!
418
00:41:54,702 --> 00:41:55,868
You talk?!
419
00:41:55,952 --> 00:41:57,369
You called me, I came!
420
00:41:59,535 --> 00:42:01,867
I called you... I called you... sort of...
421
00:42:01,951 --> 00:42:04,352
because, in that case,
Cherasse called your too!
422
00:42:05,036 --> 00:42:08,245
You called me... more clearly than him!
423
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,371
Nom di Diou, let's guzzle a "canon"!
424
00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:24,537
But... how did you learn our language?
425
00:42:24,621 --> 00:42:26,122
By listening to your people...
426
00:42:26,997 --> 00:42:29,831
every day, every hour, every minute...
427
00:42:29,956 --> 00:42:31,165
I come from planet Oxo...
428
00:42:31,249 --> 00:42:32,289
Really?
429
00:42:32,373 --> 00:42:35,123
A wee little planet, not even
mentioned on your maps...
430
00:42:35,748 --> 00:42:39,749
If you knew how happy I am to
see you again, my little fellow...!
431
00:42:40,374 --> 00:42:41,457
Me too, Mr. Ratinier!
432
00:42:42,874 --> 00:42:46,497
Listen, it's not because I could be your
grandfather that you have to call me Mister...
433
00:42:46,581 --> 00:42:48,131
It's over, calling me Mister...
434
00:42:48,958 --> 00:42:51,000
I'm your age, Mr. Ratinier...
435
00:42:51,791 --> 00:42:53,332
Are you making fun of me, buddy?
436
00:42:53,416 --> 00:42:55,666
Geez, no... I'm 70, like you...
437
00:42:56,500 --> 00:43:00,584
But on Oxo, there's almost no
change in us from beginning to end...
438
00:43:01,459 --> 00:43:04,167
It serves no purpose to
change your appearance...
439
00:43:05,209 --> 00:43:07,543
Of course, it's useless...
440
00:43:07,710 --> 00:43:10,708
But down here, nobody asks
us, we have to go through it...
441
00:43:10,792 --> 00:43:11,960
Take a look at me!
442
00:43:13,377 --> 00:43:15,668
There are others... look!
443
00:43:29,754 --> 00:43:30,670
A little "canon"!
444
00:43:31,420 --> 00:43:33,003
A "canon" is a wee drop of red wine!
445
00:43:33,087 --> 00:43:37,003
I understood that... it's a word
that's often used in your language
446
00:43:37,087 --> 00:43:39,137
No thank you, I won't drink a " canon"...
447
00:43:40,755 --> 00:43:43,379
Well, maybe you people don't age
much, but you don't have much fun either!
448
00:43:43,463 --> 00:43:45,422
We don't have any fun, as you say...
449
00:43:45,881 --> 00:43:48,339
Not one bit... never!
450
00:44:02,508 --> 00:44:05,008
This is much better than
getting your ass kicked!
451
00:44:05,549 --> 00:44:08,132
My soup, please... I'm in a hurry!
452
00:44:08,216 --> 00:44:09,258
I'm on a mission.
453
00:44:09,342 --> 00:44:10,466
Let's go!
454
00:44:23,801 --> 00:44:26,717
Smell that... doesn't it smell great?!
455
00:44:26,801 --> 00:44:28,967
It smells of gardens,
it smells of stables...
456
00:44:29,051 --> 00:44:31,852
it smells of the four seasons,
it smells of the earth...
457
00:44:32,219 --> 00:44:35,343
the earrrrrrth, the
EARRRRTH, "La Denrrrree"...
458
00:44:35,427 --> 00:44:37,551
It smells of the earth
after the raining...
459
00:44:37,635 --> 00:44:39,760
Over here, you don't say
"the rain", you say "the raining",
460
00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:41,512
because it's even wetter!
461
00:44:43,095 --> 00:44:45,011
The earth... after "the raining"!
462
00:44:45,095 --> 00:44:47,386
That's it... spoken like
a true "houmme" (man)!
463
00:44:47,470 --> 00:44:48,921
I speak like a true "houmme"?
464
00:44:50,096 --> 00:44:52,304
Come on, taste this...
465
00:45:06,848 --> 00:45:09,431
It's getting better and better, Le Glaude!
466
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:14,390
Oh, you called me Le
Glaude... that gives me pleasure!
467
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,640
That proves that you're warm all over!
468
00:45:17,724 --> 00:45:18,766
Yes, Le Glaude...
469
00:45:20,016 --> 00:45:23,766
Oh, by the way, how did
they find my soup up there?
470
00:45:24,767 --> 00:45:27,517
It has been found... dangerous!
471
00:45:28,308 --> 00:45:31,392
Dangerous?! Nobody has
ever died from my soup!
472
00:45:32,267 --> 00:45:34,099
It's the first time I've ever
heard anybody say that!
473
00:45:34,183 --> 00:45:35,933
That my soup is potentially lethal!
474
00:45:36,268 --> 00:45:41,476
Don't shout, Le Glaude! It's precisely
because it's good that it's dangerous!
475
00:45:42,727 --> 00:45:44,394
I don't get it!
476
00:45:45,352 --> 00:45:46,977
I don't get it at all!
477
00:45:47,269 --> 00:45:49,060
I'm going to explain, Le Glaude...
478
00:45:49,394 --> 00:45:50,644
On Oxo...
479
00:45:50,935 --> 00:45:54,103
we number 10,000 total,
not one more, not one less!
480
00:45:55,186 --> 00:45:58,561
And we all live till age 200...
481
00:46:01,061 --> 00:46:03,729
We don't die in the way you understand...
482
00:46:03,854 --> 00:46:05,896
but it would take too long to explain.
483
00:46:06,854 --> 00:46:10,187
Apart from us, on Oxo,
there is no animal life.
484
00:46:10,271 --> 00:46:12,397
There is no vegetal life, either.
485
00:46:13,063 --> 00:46:15,730
Not that it's impossible,
but it's unnecessary.
486
00:46:16,230 --> 00:46:18,730
We feed on mineral extracts...
487
00:46:19,230 --> 00:46:20,522
You understand, Le Glaude?
488
00:46:20,606 --> 00:46:21,656
So you suck stones...
489
00:46:23,939 --> 00:46:25,939
We form a perfect society,
490
00:46:26,148 --> 00:46:28,229
and that's why we want to make sure
491
00:46:28,313 --> 00:46:32,565
that your soup presents no danger
of decadence and sapping our energy.
492
00:46:33,190 --> 00:46:35,522
But since my soup is
dangerous, don't touch it!
493
00:46:35,606 --> 00:46:37,206
Why does it bother you, my soup?
494
00:46:37,482 --> 00:46:38,691
And why do you obsess over it?
495
00:46:38,775 --> 00:46:42,150
If we knew that, we wouldn't have
created a commission of inquiry!
496
00:46:42,858 --> 00:46:46,908
Do you know, Le Glaude, that your soup
is the only thing they talk about, on Oxo?
497
00:46:47,859 --> 00:46:48,817
Really?
498
00:46:49,192 --> 00:46:51,276
Oh yes, Le Glaude!
499
00:47:14,278 --> 00:47:16,904
Ah, it's the picture of my Francine...
500
00:47:17,279 --> 00:47:18,654
on our wedding day...
501
00:47:19,904 --> 00:47:24,905
I had thick hair then, and
Francine had pink thighs...
502
00:47:25,196 --> 00:47:27,030
She was beautiful, my Francine...
503
00:47:27,238 --> 00:47:29,946
Don't you think, La Denree,
that she was very cute?
504
00:47:30,030 --> 00:47:31,071
Yes, Le Glaude...
505
00:47:33,531 --> 00:47:36,072
They're not all bad, those creatures...
506
00:47:36,697 --> 00:47:40,780
Sometimes you can see in
them a glimpse of Paradise...
507
00:47:40,864 --> 00:47:43,032
That happened to me, with Francine...
508
00:47:43,573 --> 00:47:45,240
Tiny glimpses...
509
00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:49,865
She died, God's poor little child...
510
00:47:50,365 --> 00:47:51,616
10 years ago...
511
00:47:52,408 --> 00:47:54,449
She was barely 60...
512
00:47:55,074 --> 00:47:57,616
I miss her very much, La Denree...
513
00:47:57,783 --> 00:47:58,741
Come!
514
00:48:08,659 --> 00:48:14,243
You see... I cut a lock
from my Francine's hair...
515
00:48:14,451 --> 00:48:17,743
just before they
closed the coffin's lid...
516
00:48:19,119 --> 00:48:21,244
When I called you "Le Glaude"...
517
00:48:21,827 --> 00:48:26,161
you told me it gave you..."pleasure"...
518
00:48:26,369 --> 00:48:28,703
What is..."pleasure"?
519
00:48:29,328 --> 00:48:31,120
How would I know?
520
00:48:31,328 --> 00:48:32,537
What kind of question is that?
521
00:48:32,621 --> 00:48:35,162
Pleasure is... pleasure!
522
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:37,704
It's like soup, red wine...
523
00:48:39,954 --> 00:48:43,455
Would it give you "pleasure"
to see Francine again?
524
00:48:43,539 --> 00:48:47,122
Oh! It's not decent to
laugh about those matters!
525
00:48:47,247 --> 00:48:49,121
Down here, we respect the dead...
526
00:48:49,205 --> 00:48:50,555
Are you in your right mind?
527
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:53,872
I'm sorry, Le Glaude...!
528
00:48:56,081 --> 00:48:57,665
My soup!
529
00:49:02,581 --> 00:49:06,957
But tell me, you still
have 130 years to live...!
530
00:49:07,291 --> 00:49:10,415
Yes, Le Glaude... and you?
531
00:49:10,499 --> 00:49:12,707
Me? 10 years tops!
532
00:49:12,957 --> 00:49:14,167
That's "shorty"!
533
00:49:16,083 --> 00:49:19,917
Your soup, Le Glaude,
I would like to pay for it.
534
00:49:20,125 --> 00:49:21,833
Pay me? I'd like to see that!
535
00:49:22,167 --> 00:49:23,749
Now I'm hurt, La Denree...
536
00:49:23,833 --> 00:49:25,166
To talk about money in my home!
537
00:49:25,250 --> 00:49:28,168
I may not be rich, but I can
still offer soup to a guest!
538
00:49:29,418 --> 00:49:30,751
Money?
539
00:49:30,876 --> 00:49:32,960
Yes, money... here it's nickels and dimes!
540
00:49:33,044 --> 00:49:34,751
And we need nickels and dimes over here!
541
00:49:34,835 --> 00:49:35,919
Nickels and dimes?
542
00:49:42,295 --> 00:49:43,670
You know what this is?
543
00:49:44,336 --> 00:49:46,336
It's a golden "louis" (old French coin).
544
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:52,170
My uncle Anselme gave it to me as a reward
for the high-school diploma I never got!
545
00:49:52,254 --> 00:49:55,545
Me neither... the license for the saucer,
546
00:49:55,629 --> 00:49:57,712
I got it on the fourth try.
547
00:49:58,379 --> 00:50:00,504
You're like me, not too sharp!
548
00:50:00,588 --> 00:50:04,172
Oh, no... can you lend it to me?
549
00:50:09,839 --> 00:50:11,713
Nom di Diou, a little "canon"!
550
00:50:11,797 --> 00:50:12,629
No, Le Glaude...
551
00:50:12,713 --> 00:50:13,588
A little "canon"!
552
00:50:13,672 --> 00:50:14,421
No, Le Glaude...
553
00:50:14,505 --> 00:50:15,879
Half a little "canon"!
554
00:50:15,963 --> 00:50:17,006
No, Le Glaude...
555
00:50:19,382 --> 00:50:21,548
You'll die a twit, and a twit is an idiot!
556
00:50:21,632 --> 00:50:24,757
I know that... I talk like you,
Le Glaude, you taught me!
557
00:50:25,132 --> 00:50:28,423
But up there, you have leaders,
don't you, in your ant-hill?
558
00:50:28,507 --> 00:50:30,508
We have a Comittee of Heads...
559
00:50:31,050 --> 00:50:32,466
five renewable heads...
560
00:50:33,300 --> 00:50:35,600
Well, when you'll have
a drink up your nose...
561
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,468
You'll be the head of all
the heads... you'll be the...
562
00:50:38,552 --> 00:50:40,134
BIG HEAD!
563
00:50:43,426 --> 00:50:47,802
Oh... with all your stories you've
completely screwed up my mind. I'm pooped!
564
00:50:55,594 --> 00:51:00,428
I won't see you off...
leave the barn open...
565
00:51:01,011 --> 00:51:04,052
Au revoir, My Glaude, you're a good guy!
566
00:51:04,136 --> 00:51:05,804
You too, my old "Denree"!
567
00:51:10,179 --> 00:51:13,054
Oh, you'll be back soon...?!
568
00:51:13,638 --> 00:51:14,471
Yes, my Glaude!
569
00:51:16,971 --> 00:51:21,721
Hey, La Denree... don't forget
my "louis" has a return address...!
570
00:51:21,805 --> 00:51:23,222
Yes!
571
00:51:45,433 --> 00:51:47,433
But... but... I'm telling you...
572
00:51:48,016 --> 00:51:49,975
it... it was 3:00 a.m... and...
573
00:51:50,059 --> 00:51:51,016
and... and...
574
00:51:51,100 --> 00:51:52,142
One, two, three...
575
00:51:52,267 --> 00:51:53,767
Well... what about it?
576
00:52:00,101 --> 00:52:01,685
OK, let's go!
577
00:52:01,893 --> 00:52:05,101
Yes... as I was saying, it was 3:00 a.m...
578
00:52:05,185 --> 00:52:07,601
as I felt a pressing need...
579
00:52:07,685 --> 00:52:09,685
I run out into the garden...
580
00:52:09,769 --> 00:52:11,435
and what do I see?
581
00:52:11,519 --> 00:52:13,186
A... a flying saucer!
582
00:52:13,394 --> 00:52:16,352
Yes... but it wasn't like
the one of the other day...
583
00:52:16,977 --> 00:52:21,645
and then a man stepped
out of it, holding a milk can...
584
00:52:22,020 --> 00:52:23,768
and Le Glaude, he was there...
585
00:52:23,852 --> 00:52:25,752
I mean Mr Ratinier, as you call him...
586
00:52:26,938 --> 00:52:30,188
and they... and they...
they hugged each other...
587
00:52:31,021 --> 00:52:33,396
and then they ate... cabbage soup!
588
00:54:04,698 --> 00:54:06,848
You've been resurrected,
poor old woman...!
589
00:55:14,997 --> 00:55:16,164
Le Glaude!
590
00:55:19,289 --> 00:55:20,456
Le Glaude!
591
00:55:25,623 --> 00:55:26,915
Le Glaude!
592
00:55:33,124 --> 00:55:34,333
Someone out there?
593
00:55:34,417 --> 00:55:35,749
Who... is it...?
594
00:55:38,374 --> 00:55:39,749
Don't be afraid, it's me!
595
00:55:40,875 --> 00:55:42,084
La Francine!
596
00:55:44,459 --> 00:55:46,259
Open up, Le Glaude, it's not warm...
597
00:55:56,501 --> 00:55:58,586
It... it's not possible!
598
00:55:59,711 --> 00:56:00,794
Here I am...
599
00:56:01,586 --> 00:56:02,669
I can see...
600
00:56:08,670 --> 00:56:10,212
It doesn't scare you too much?
601
00:56:11,003 --> 00:56:15,545
I... I just can believe you're
talking to me and you're here!
602
00:56:21,504 --> 00:56:23,379
Let's not try to understand...
603
00:56:24,588 --> 00:56:25,588
we'd go mad!
604
00:56:35,215 --> 00:56:38,590
You're so beautiful, my Francine!
605
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:43,006
I forgot how beautiful you were!
606
00:56:43,673 --> 00:56:46,466
Don't make fun of me... at my age...
607
00:56:47,257 --> 00:56:50,632
It's not right to laugh at someone
who comes back from where I come...
608
00:56:50,716 --> 00:56:52,166
I'm still shaking all over...
609
00:56:54,008 --> 00:56:55,217
Wait... wait...
610
00:56:58,967 --> 00:57:00,092
Look, La Francine...
611
00:57:02,092 --> 00:57:04,259
See how beautiful you are...
612
00:57:09,218 --> 00:57:11,010
Oh La Francine, oh La Francine...!
613
00:57:11,094 --> 00:57:12,594
Vinegar! Vinegar!
614
00:57:13,385 --> 00:57:14,968
Where's the vinegar?
615
00:57:15,052 --> 00:57:16,259
Goddammit, where is it...?
616
00:57:16,343 --> 00:57:18,094
Oh mother... oh mother...!
617
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,886
This isn't the time to faint!
618
00:57:25,303 --> 00:57:29,011
My little, little Francine...
do you feel better?
619
00:57:34,971 --> 00:57:39,929
I'm here... Le Glaude... Le Glaude...
620
00:57:40,013 --> 00:57:41,097
Don't you recognize me anymore?
621
00:57:41,181 --> 00:57:44,680
Yes... but how old you are!
622
00:57:49,473 --> 00:57:53,556
Wait... see how beautiful you are!
623
00:57:59,765 --> 00:58:02,682
You're not going to cry...?!
624
00:58:04,599 --> 00:58:05,807
I'm so happy!
625
00:58:05,974 --> 00:58:07,825
Didn't I tell you you were beautiful?
626
00:58:10,975 --> 00:58:11,891
There... easy...
627
00:58:12,725 --> 00:58:13,556
I'm beautiful!
628
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:14,598
Yes, you're beautiful!
629
00:58:14,682 --> 00:58:15,391
Very beautiful!
630
00:58:15,475 --> 00:58:17,059
Very beautiful!
631
00:58:17,851 --> 00:58:19,601
It's wonderful to be 20!
632
00:58:20,309 --> 00:58:22,642
I'm sure it's not unpleasant...
633
00:58:23,142 --> 00:58:28,768
Le Glaude... I live... I'm
hungry... I'M HUNGRY!!
634
00:58:36,228 --> 00:58:37,686
5 minutes!
635
00:58:37,811 --> 00:58:38,853
Thank you, Glaude!
636
00:58:56,688 --> 00:58:57,896
Turn around!
637
00:59:03,314 --> 00:59:03,981
Turn around!
638
00:59:04,189 --> 00:59:07,687
But I've already seen you naked,
even when you were you age!
639
00:59:07,771 --> 00:59:11,022
Don't start bugging me...
turn around, I'm asking you...!
640
01:00:30,448 --> 01:00:31,947
Le Glaude, what are you doing?
641
01:00:32,031 --> 01:00:33,949
Well... I'd like to "arrange" you...
642
01:00:34,033 --> 01:00:34,990
"Arrange" me?
643
01:00:35,074 --> 01:00:37,424
Just try and I'll break
the potty on your head!
644
01:00:38,907 --> 01:00:42,824
But, La Francine, you're my wife, and
you're allowed to "arrange" your own wife...
645
01:00:42,908 --> 01:00:44,658
The potty on your head!
646
01:00:47,950 --> 01:00:52,493
Well, little brothers, that's
a good start...! Oh well...
647
01:00:59,534 --> 01:01:01,660
I had to be a dream, Francine's return!
648
01:01:13,661 --> 01:01:16,036
You're wearing the latest fashion!
649
01:01:16,328 --> 01:01:18,411
You're right, a real scarecrow!
650
01:01:22,787 --> 01:01:25,079
You still have that filthy animal!
651
01:01:25,246 --> 01:01:27,121
It should be shot, this vermin...
652
01:01:27,454 --> 01:01:30,538
Speaking about vermin,
Le Bombe, is he dead yet?
653
01:01:31,247 --> 01:01:32,913
No, he's not dead, he's sick!
654
01:01:33,038 --> 01:01:36,038
So, if you see him, tell him
you're a great-niece of mine!
655
01:01:36,330 --> 01:01:38,664
I have to go to Jaligny, I have
nothing to wear... give me some money!
656
01:01:38,748 --> 01:01:39,829
Well, how much do you want?
657
01:01:39,913 --> 01:01:42,288
Give me whatever I need! When you
have a wife, you feed and clothe her!
658
01:01:42,372 --> 01:01:43,581
A wife... a wife...!
659
01:01:47,081 --> 01:01:48,706
Hey, it's my old-age retirement money!
660
01:01:48,790 --> 01:01:51,590
Now it's young people's
retirement money, little father!
661
01:02:09,459 --> 01:02:10,584
Where's my bicycle?
662
01:02:14,501 --> 01:02:18,376
Tell me... what have
you done with my bicycle?
663
01:02:18,460 --> 01:02:19,584
I sold your bike!
664
01:02:19,668 --> 01:02:20,708
You sold my bike?!
665
01:02:20,792 --> 01:02:22,842
Well, you don't usually pedal in coffins!
666
01:02:25,253 --> 01:02:28,169
While I'm away, you'll clear
the table and wash the dishes!
667
01:02:28,253 --> 01:02:32,294
And instead of emptying mugs with
your crony, you'd better scrub the floor!
668
01:02:32,461 --> 01:02:34,085
You can't even see the
color of the floor tiles anymore!
669
01:02:34,169 --> 01:02:35,420
Now I won't allow you to speak like that!
670
01:02:35,504 --> 01:02:39,104
After all, I did bring you beautiful
geraniums and beautiful petunias...
671
01:02:39,670 --> 01:02:42,546
From now on, you won't "arrange"
me and no more chores either!
672
01:02:42,630 --> 01:02:45,421
All my life I've washed the sheets
in the river, prepared the fridge...
673
01:02:45,505 --> 01:02:49,171
That life, I saw nothing of it, it flashed
by like lightning without anything...
674
01:02:49,255 --> 01:02:52,963
So, one life lost, that's enough! I'm
lucky enough to get a second chance...
675
01:02:53,047 --> 01:02:56,756
so I want to have fun,
laugh and sing! That's it!
676
01:02:57,089 --> 01:03:00,539
But I must inform you that it's
thanks to me that you're alive today!
677
01:03:01,173 --> 01:03:02,797
If I hadn't farted, you
wouldn't be here...
678
01:03:02,881 --> 01:03:06,632
because, when I fart, La Denree
arrives right away in his flying saucer!
679
01:03:08,465 --> 01:03:12,666
Well well, you must have emptied quite a
few barrels of cheap wine while I was gone!
680
01:03:14,133 --> 01:03:18,508
Well, little ones, little brothers,
we're off to a real good start!
681
01:03:52,803 --> 01:03:53,929
Where are you headed?
682
01:03:54,013 --> 01:03:55,011
To Jaligny...
683
01:03:55,095 --> 01:03:56,304
Hop in, I'm going there too!
684
01:03:56,388 --> 01:03:57,538
-Let's go!
-Thank you!
685
01:04:14,264 --> 01:04:16,889
I tore my dress... do I'll
find a new one in Jaligny?
686
01:04:16,973 --> 01:04:20,056
Don't buy a dress, buy a
pair of jeans and a T-shirt.
687
01:04:23,599 --> 01:04:25,449
You're not from around here, are you?
688
01:04:25,891 --> 01:04:31,516
I'm from Moulins, I came to take
care of my great-uncle, Glaude Ratinier.
689
01:04:31,641 --> 01:04:35,267
Ha, Ratinier... Just put him on a
water diet, he'll be cured instantly!
690
01:04:37,683 --> 01:04:38,974
What's your name?
691
01:04:39,058 --> 01:04:40,183
Francine...
692
01:04:40,517 --> 01:04:42,067
Mine is Catherine La Mouette...
693
01:04:42,726 --> 01:04:44,276
Great weather, don't you think?
694
01:05:01,103 --> 01:05:02,228
Let's go in, OK!
695
01:05:08,895 --> 01:05:09,938
Here's a T-shirt...
696
01:05:10,022 --> 01:05:11,312
Thank you!
697
01:05:17,062 --> 01:05:18,647
And here you are, pants...
698
01:05:20,147 --> 01:05:22,938
You have great breasts...
I wish I had the same...
699
01:05:23,397 --> 01:05:25,947
Mine, next to yours, look
like Laurel and Hardy...!
700
01:05:32,939 --> 01:05:34,563
Wow, it's superb like that!
701
01:05:34,647 --> 01:05:36,854
Not at all, it doesn't fit me
at all, it's much too tight...
702
01:05:36,938 --> 01:05:40,289
It's very pretty and, what's
more, it'll attract guys like flies...
703
01:05:40,857 --> 01:05:42,857
Where were you brought up, in the woods?
704
01:05:43,482 --> 01:05:44,649
There you go!
705
01:05:57,442 --> 01:05:59,567
You see, your T-shirt
fits you like a glove!
706
01:05:59,651 --> 01:06:00,942
Hey, Catherine!
707
01:06:02,192 --> 01:06:03,192
Come, come!
708
01:06:07,068 --> 01:06:09,768
Let me introduce you to
Lulu and Robert... Francine...
709
01:06:11,568 --> 01:06:15,069
Well, Lulu, what's going
on? Step up to the next floor!
710
01:06:16,903 --> 01:06:19,503
Watch out! He's the biggest
ladies' man of the gang!
711
01:06:47,197 --> 01:06:50,029
What's this attire?! You've
lost your marbles, La Francine!
712
01:06:50,113 --> 01:06:53,114
Are you so hot that you have
to go around almost bare-assed?
713
01:06:53,823 --> 01:06:56,113
It's at the cemetery that you
learnt all those bad manners?
714
01:06:56,197 --> 01:06:57,407
I'm talking to you!
715
01:06:57,698 --> 01:06:59,824
Ho, you're a slut!
716
01:07:01,366 --> 01:07:03,699
No, I won't scrub the floor!
717
01:07:06,241 --> 01:07:07,283
And my change?
718
01:07:07,616 --> 01:07:08,741
Take it!
719
01:07:27,411 --> 01:07:30,826
But you've gone soft in the head, to
show your ass like that to any passerby!
720
01:07:30,910 --> 01:07:33,110
But I'm only sunbathing,
it's not a crime...
721
01:07:33,286 --> 01:07:35,077
Anyone could show up!
722
01:07:35,161 --> 01:07:38,411
So what? It's not disgusting! Some
people pay to see women getting undressed!
723
01:07:38,495 --> 01:07:40,078
You wouldn't want me to
take money for it, would you?
724
01:07:40,162 --> 01:07:43,787
But it's not done, nom di
Diou, nom di Diou, you slut!
725
01:07:43,953 --> 01:07:46,746
You should have remained
6 ft. under, you vermin!
726
01:07:48,079 --> 01:07:52,329
It's nice to hear that! I've barely been
alive 24 hours and you already wish me dead!
727
01:08:00,330 --> 01:08:04,380
Anyway, you should know before it's your
turn to die, that I slept with Le Bombe!
728
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:06,831
You slept with Le Bombe?
729
01:08:06,915 --> 01:08:10,082
You're not amused, are you? You'd like
to see me back in my grave, wouldn't you?
730
01:08:10,166 --> 01:08:11,996
Exactly, I slept with Le Bombe!
731
01:08:12,080 --> 01:08:13,080
When? A little while ago?
732
01:08:13,164 --> 01:08:16,665
Of course not, you twit, not a while
ago but when you were a prisoner!
733
01:08:16,957 --> 01:08:18,207
Touch me and you're dead!
734
01:08:18,707 --> 01:08:19,832
I was never told...
735
01:08:19,916 --> 01:08:21,291
We weren't going to tell you...
736
01:08:21,375 --> 01:08:22,917
Why did you do that?
737
01:08:23,958 --> 01:08:25,167
I was bored...
738
01:08:27,333 --> 01:08:31,250
He was bored... you were so far away...
739
01:08:31,751 --> 01:08:33,168
It was nothing...
740
01:08:33,918 --> 01:08:36,543
So, in the end, you were just a...
741
01:08:37,376 --> 01:08:40,293
Not even that... I was a lonely woman...
742
01:08:41,669 --> 01:08:42,668
Forgive me!
743
01:08:42,752 --> 01:08:43,794
No!
744
01:08:45,085 --> 01:08:46,917
But that was 40 years ago...!
745
01:08:47,001 --> 01:08:48,252
For me, that's all new!
746
01:08:48,544 --> 01:08:51,877
I've just been told I'm a cuckold,
and I'm supposed to feel good about it!
747
01:08:51,961 --> 01:08:54,511
But you can't be a cuckold
40 years after the fact!
748
01:08:55,003 --> 01:08:58,961
When you came back, it was all
over, and I loved you just like before...
749
01:08:59,962 --> 01:09:01,170
I swear to it!
750
01:09:01,254 --> 01:09:02,837
It's enough to drive you crazy!
751
01:09:03,087 --> 01:09:03,962
You mustn't!
752
01:09:05,462 --> 01:09:06,812
You don't mind if I go out?
753
01:09:07,546 --> 01:09:08,463
Where to?
754
01:09:08,547 --> 01:09:10,547
To the ball with Catherine La Mouette...
755
01:09:10,672 --> 01:09:11,838
The little La Mouette?
756
01:09:12,047 --> 01:09:14,045
Not that little... we're both 20!
757
01:09:14,129 --> 01:09:17,003
I'll never get used to your
goddamn 20 years old!
758
01:09:17,087 --> 01:09:19,638
Go dance, have fun and
come home whenever you want!
759
01:09:19,881 --> 01:09:20,923
Thank you, Glaude!
760
01:09:22,006 --> 01:09:24,964
I'm no longer your husband,
your father, your grandfather...
761
01:09:25,048 --> 01:09:26,841
Yes, but you're a good man, my Glaude!
762
01:09:26,925 --> 01:09:27,965
I'm off!
763
01:10:09,969 --> 01:10:11,219
Hands up, Judas!
764
01:10:12,511 --> 01:10:13,970
Don't be an asshole!
What's gotten into you?
765
01:10:14,054 --> 01:10:16,254
What's gotten into me
is that I'm a cuckold!
766
01:10:16,470 --> 01:10:18,345
And by you, vermin!
767
01:10:21,304 --> 01:10:24,205
But how can you be a cuckold,
you don't even have a wife?!
768
01:10:24,305 --> 01:10:29,263
I used to have one, and you
"arranged" her when I was a prisoner...
769
01:10:32,056 --> 01:10:35,347
It never happened, I
swear on my mother's head!
770
01:10:43,973 --> 01:10:45,973
This one is for wild boar...
771
01:10:46,973 --> 01:10:49,057
this one, for elephants...
772
01:10:50,141 --> 01:10:53,932
Now, I'll have your
mug go through the wall!
773
01:10:54,016 --> 01:10:55,558
No, you're right, Glaude!
774
01:10:57,141 --> 01:10:59,892
I did "arrange" La Francine
while you were away...
775
01:11:01,809 --> 01:11:03,059
How did you do it?
776
01:11:04,142 --> 01:11:05,891
Well... like everybody else...
777
01:11:05,975 --> 01:11:09,185
I'm not asking for
details! How did it happen?
778
01:11:09,310 --> 01:11:10,893
Well... we were bored...
779
01:11:11,935 --> 01:11:15,101
I... was bored... it was
winter, you weren't there...
780
01:11:15,601 --> 01:11:19,144
I used to chop her wood...
she'd bring me a bowl of soup...
781
01:11:19,936 --> 01:11:24,519
we'd chat a little... we
weren't old... it just happened...
782
01:11:25,436 --> 01:11:27,037
But we felt guilty, Le Glaude...
783
01:11:27,312 --> 01:11:28,310
And you did it again?
784
01:11:28,394 --> 01:11:30,020
Oh... as often as we could!
785
01:11:31,687 --> 01:11:33,287
But wracked all over by guilt...
786
01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:36,730
Ahh... you ruined so many nights for us...
787
01:11:36,814 --> 01:11:38,688
Excuuuuse me!!!
788
01:11:39,896 --> 01:11:41,104
Shoot me, Le Glaude!
789
01:11:41,896 --> 01:11:44,939
Shoot me! I don't
deserve your forgiveness!
790
01:11:45,230 --> 01:11:47,437
Shoot me, or I'll hang myself for real!
791
01:11:47,521 --> 01:11:49,187
And I won't bungle it this time!
792
01:11:49,271 --> 01:11:51,314
Shoot me! I'm just a piece of garbage...
793
01:11:51,855 --> 01:11:53,355
a lump of dogshit...
794
01:11:53,439 --> 01:11:56,065
You can't be a cuckold
40 years after the fact!
795
01:11:57,231 --> 01:11:58,231
How about a "canon"...?
796
01:11:58,315 --> 01:11:59,481
Let's drink a "canon"!
797
01:12:08,107 --> 01:12:10,066
Anyway... my Glaude...
798
01:12:10,649 --> 01:12:12,199
I have to tell you something...
799
01:12:12,358 --> 01:12:14,567
I only had one woman, and she was yours...
800
01:13:06,822 --> 01:13:09,321
I'm going away, my Glaude, but I didn't want
to leave without saying goodbye to you...
801
01:13:09,405 --> 01:13:10,490
You're going away?
802
01:13:10,574 --> 01:13:11,530
To Paris.
803
01:13:11,614 --> 01:13:13,156
To Paris? You're crazy!
804
01:13:13,656 --> 01:13:16,206
It's the only place we'll
find work, with Robert...
805
01:13:17,115 --> 01:13:19,324
Do you know at least if he's a good man?
806
01:13:22,990 --> 01:13:24,156
I'll find out over time...
807
01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:26,158
If it doesn't pan out, I'll change...
808
01:13:27,241 --> 01:13:29,241
You're not too hurt that I'm going away?
809
01:13:29,575 --> 01:13:32,325
You... you have to follow your own mind...
810
01:13:32,741 --> 01:13:35,116
Exactly... our minds are not alike
anymore, we would just yell at each other..
811
01:13:35,200 --> 01:13:36,201
Don't you agree?
812
01:13:37,659 --> 01:13:40,209
You're the only one I've
ever loved, La Francine...
813
01:13:40,492 --> 01:13:42,658
Same with me... Le Bombe,
I never loved him, you know?
814
01:13:42,742 --> 01:13:43,784
I know that now...
815
01:13:44,202 --> 01:13:46,993
You have to be as happy as can be...!
816
01:13:49,452 --> 01:13:50,502
You're not mad at me?
817
01:13:50,743 --> 01:13:53,244
Why should I be mad
at you, my little girl?
818
01:13:54,369 --> 01:13:55,577
I have to kiss you, my Glaude...
819
01:13:55,661 --> 01:13:56,660
Oh, I stink of wine...
820
01:13:56,744 --> 01:13:57,869
Don't talk nonsense!
821
01:14:01,494 --> 01:14:05,245
I wish you... all the
happiness, my Francine...
822
01:14:06,412 --> 01:14:07,579
Me too, my Glaude...
823
01:14:48,334 --> 01:14:52,084
La Denree, La Denree...
oh, I wasn't expecting you!
824
01:14:53,209 --> 01:14:54,542
But what's all this?
825
01:14:56,250 --> 01:15:00,201
I've been promoted... I'm not Oxian 2nd
class anymore, I'm Oxian 1st class now!
826
01:15:00,710 --> 01:15:01,750
And thanks to you, Le Glaude!
827
01:15:01,834 --> 01:15:02,583
Thanks to me?
828
01:15:02,667 --> 01:15:04,293
Yes, thanks to your soup!
829
01:15:04,543 --> 01:15:07,752
They gave me the flying saucer
that takes two hours instead of three!
830
01:15:07,836 --> 01:15:11,752
Now didn't I tell you you would
be promoted, didn't I tell you?!!
831
01:15:12,169 --> 01:15:17,420
And that you had to start drinking "canons" to climb
all over their heads, those "five heads" of yours!
832
01:15:18,170 --> 01:15:19,045
If you have any ambition...
833
01:15:19,129 --> 01:15:20,170
Oh no...
834
01:15:20,462 --> 01:15:22,812
If you have any
ambition... you'll get there...
835
01:15:25,254 --> 01:15:28,420
Over here, the bigwigs only drink wine...
836
01:15:28,504 --> 01:15:30,212
but not your lowly soldier's wine...
837
01:15:30,296 --> 01:15:32,504
but wine corked and sealed...
838
01:15:33,046 --> 01:15:35,089
that we couldn't afford for ourselves...
839
01:15:35,339 --> 01:15:37,755
since we're the ones
who make them pay for it!
840
01:15:38,214 --> 01:15:39,422
Come on, come on!
841
01:15:41,839 --> 01:15:46,240
Oh, I say, little buddy, I really could have
done without you resurrecting my poor wife!
842
01:15:46,923 --> 01:15:50,715
It caused such a ruckus
and, worse, such misery!
843
01:15:51,131 --> 01:15:52,882
I couldn't predict that, Le Glaude!
844
01:15:52,966 --> 01:15:54,256
Oh well, I'm not mad at you...
845
01:15:54,340 --> 01:15:57,340
if that makes her happy, I
thank you anyway, for her sake...
846
01:15:57,841 --> 01:16:01,382
My Claude, I'm giving
you back your golden Louis!
847
01:16:01,632 --> 01:16:03,467
My old Denree...!
848
01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:04,717
My old Glaude...!
849
01:16:26,510 --> 01:16:29,927
But there's millions...
millions... BILLIONS!!!
850
01:16:30,011 --> 01:16:32,811
It's just two minutes' work
for a wee chemistry student!
851
01:16:38,554 --> 01:16:39,721
Help me, help me...
852
01:16:55,472 --> 01:16:56,597
Le Glaude...!
853
01:16:57,098 --> 01:16:58,514
From analysis to analysis,
854
01:16:58,598 --> 01:17:02,806
we have concluded that your
soup is a soup called "pleasure"...
855
01:17:03,681 --> 01:17:05,381
So it's not poisonous anymore...?!
856
01:17:05,764 --> 01:17:07,765
Right now we are testing how to smile...
857
01:17:08,015 --> 01:17:11,515
since a smile is the outward
expression of "pleasure"!
858
01:17:11,724 --> 01:17:14,890
It's a considerable
event... a revolution!!!
859
01:17:15,683 --> 01:17:16,641
Le Glaude...!
860
01:17:17,891 --> 01:17:20,808
You must absolutely come live with us
861
01:17:21,100 --> 01:17:22,681
since you know how to plant cabbage
862
01:17:22,765 --> 01:17:24,165
and none other could manage!
863
01:17:24,767 --> 01:17:25,684
He's gone batty!
864
01:17:26,892 --> 01:17:28,542
He's gone batty! He's gone batty!
865
01:17:30,684 --> 01:17:32,351
He's gone batty! He's gone batty!
866
01:17:32,476 --> 01:17:33,643
No, I'm not batty!
867
01:17:36,060 --> 01:17:42,268
Oxo is a planet with oxygen, where you'll live
to be 200, free of sickness and infirmity!
868
01:17:42,769 --> 01:17:44,269
And when you'll be up there...
869
01:17:44,603 --> 01:17:48,603
you'll still have 130 years to
live, instead of 10, with lots of luck!
870
01:17:48,687 --> 01:17:50,561
He is baaaaatty!
871
01:17:51,519 --> 01:17:55,020
But I don't see myself living 130
years without a drink or a smoke...
872
01:17:55,104 --> 01:17:58,354
with a stone for lunch,
a capsule for supper...
873
01:17:59,604 --> 01:18:06,521
I'd rather drag myself, for the next 5 or 10
years, from my cool cellar to my beautiful garden!
874
01:18:27,690 --> 01:18:29,774
Oxo? Earth! Oxo? Earth!
875
01:18:30,649 --> 01:18:31,566
Earth! Oxo?
876
01:18:56,902 --> 01:18:58,152
You're getting scolded, aren't you?!
877
01:18:58,236 --> 01:19:05,236
Not at all! A fleet of spaceships will deliver to Oxo
everything you'll ever need during your long life!
878
01:19:05,487 --> 01:19:10,070
Including tobacco and wine,
guaranteed to be free of mold and growths!
879
01:19:10,487 --> 01:19:13,820
I'll never set foot on your shitty
dump! Do you understand? There!
880
01:19:18,029 --> 01:19:20,070
If you think I'm going
to leave my house...
881
01:19:20,154 --> 01:19:22,320
and forget about Le Bombe
who's my best friend...
882
01:19:22,404 --> 01:19:25,655
then you're insane, fit to be
tied with rope for towing tractors!
883
01:19:27,780 --> 01:19:31,947
But Mr. Cherasse can go with you,
since you can't reproduce yourselves!
884
01:19:33,865 --> 01:19:35,565
You take me for a fool, don't you?
885
01:19:35,948 --> 01:19:38,988
And our cat, there, who is going
through the misery of old age,
886
01:19:39,072 --> 01:19:42,282
we'd let him die all alone,
without the slightest caress?
887
01:19:42,491 --> 01:19:43,489
Is he in danger of dying?
888
01:19:43,573 --> 01:19:47,116
Absolutely right! He's 13, and
he's in danger of not reaching 14!
889
01:19:48,407 --> 01:19:52,323
If I did that, I could never shave
without spitting on my face in the mirror!
890
01:19:52,407 --> 01:19:54,075
You can bring him along too...!
891
01:19:54,658 --> 01:19:57,448
He'll live to be 200 years
old, like you and me...
892
01:19:57,532 --> 01:20:00,532
You're just like old women,
you always have the last word...
893
01:20:00,951 --> 01:20:02,951
You twist my arteries...
894
01:20:03,284 --> 01:20:05,409
We shouldn't have farted that night,
895
01:20:05,493 --> 01:20:09,343
and you wouldn't have been drawn to
this place, like a fly to a pile of shit!
896
01:20:31,037 --> 01:20:33,704
Do you really mean it, Le
Glaude, what you've just said?
897
01:20:33,788 --> 01:20:34,829
Perfectly!
898
01:20:35,996 --> 01:20:39,080
You shouldn't, because,
me, I like you, Le Glaude...
899
01:20:39,747 --> 01:20:44,413
Even if they often chide me on
Oxo that it's bad luck to like people...
900
01:20:47,664 --> 01:20:49,664
That's what they tell you, your savages?
901
01:20:51,289 --> 01:20:54,164
Well, me too, I like you, La Denree!
902
01:20:54,789 --> 01:20:56,374
And I'm not ashamed of it!
903
01:20:57,207 --> 01:20:59,624
So you really do like me, Le Glaude?
904
01:20:59,874 --> 01:21:03,624
Yeeeees, my old Denreeeee...!
905
01:21:03,749 --> 01:21:06,458
Ahhh... nom di Diou, nom di Diou...
906
01:21:06,791 --> 01:21:08,416
Pour me a "canon", Le Glaude!
907
01:21:08,500 --> 01:21:09,124
How's that?
908
01:21:09,208 --> 01:21:12,291
Don't you get it? Pour me
a "canon", nom di Diou!!!
909
01:21:32,794 --> 01:21:39,794
Minute! A "canon", get this, is
not only wine, but friendship too!
910
01:21:50,921 --> 01:21:51,963
Ahhh... nom di Diou!
911
01:22:09,548 --> 01:22:10,548
Le Glaude!!!!
912
01:22:12,298 --> 01:22:15,882
Back home there are only
crazies in the government...
913
01:22:16,548 --> 01:22:19,174
and I'm going to replace
them all by myself...
914
01:22:19,549 --> 01:22:22,591
and boot them out with
kicks in the ass! Get it?
915
01:22:22,716 --> 01:22:24,341
What do you think, Le Glaude?
916
01:22:24,924 --> 01:22:29,675
I think you're already quite drunk and that you
should go back up there before it's too late!
917
01:22:30,259 --> 01:22:31,592
Here you go...
918
01:22:33,425 --> 01:22:34,342
Your box!
919
01:22:35,092 --> 01:22:38,801
The Comittee of Heads has
authorized me to leave it with you
920
01:22:38,926 --> 01:22:41,093
in order to speak with you at any time...
921
01:22:42,176 --> 01:22:45,383
Wh..what would I do with it,
I can barely wind up a watch!
922
01:22:45,467 --> 01:22:46,918
You won't have to touch it...
923
01:22:47,552 --> 01:22:50,844
Whenever we'll want to
talk, it'll light up, that's all!
924
01:22:51,719 --> 01:22:54,169
But Le Bombe, when
he'll see this gizmo, he'll...
925
01:22:55,094 --> 01:22:57,262
He won't see it, the box...
926
01:22:58,470 --> 01:23:00,720
It'll be invisible to him...
927
01:23:03,053 --> 01:23:07,096
It is tuned only to your
personal airwaves, yours only!
928
01:23:16,805 --> 01:23:18,014
A kiss, Le Glaude!
929
01:23:18,514 --> 01:23:21,097
Bye-bye now... my old Denree...
930
01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:42,775
See who's here! Mr. Mayor!
931
01:23:44,683 --> 01:23:46,183
Ah, my children, I have news!
932
01:23:47,058 --> 01:23:49,058
Come... news... come!
933
01:23:50,934 --> 01:23:52,134
Good morning, Mr. Mayor!
934
01:23:52,226 --> 01:23:55,142
The prefecture has just authorized a large
construction project for Les Gourdiflots!
935
01:23:55,226 --> 01:23:58,076
We're getting it, our new
town, our entertainment park...
936
01:23:58,559 --> 01:24:00,110
The bulldozers attack tomorrow!
937
01:24:00,810 --> 01:24:05,310
Economic expansion, it's
the wealth of the community!
938
01:24:05,394 --> 01:24:06,769
Aimee, drinks all around!
939
01:24:12,103 --> 01:24:13,186
To your health!
940
01:25:17,818 --> 01:25:19,268
We can't hear ourselves talk!
941
01:25:25,569 --> 01:25:28,669
We're going to treat ourselves
to a good dose of "perniflard"!
942
01:25:40,613 --> 01:25:42,571
Oh nom di Diou! The Mayor!
943
01:26:21,409 --> 01:26:22,825
Good morning, Mr. Mayor...
944
01:26:23,117 --> 01:26:24,700
Well then...
945
01:26:25,659 --> 01:26:28,201
You didn't want to see Mr. Mayor, eh...?
946
01:26:29,493 --> 01:26:31,660
Ah, you old-timers...
947
01:26:33,035 --> 01:26:36,119
Ooooh... not a dull moment, eh?
948
01:26:36,744 --> 01:26:39,911
Hands on the "apero",
and it's not even noon...!
949
01:26:41,369 --> 01:26:44,786
So this is how old workers
while away their retirement!
950
01:26:47,828 --> 01:26:48,993
You'll drink a toast with us, won't you?
951
01:26:49,077 --> 01:26:50,627
That's an offer I can't refuse!
952
01:26:54,413 --> 01:26:59,746
Anyway, Mr. Mayor, what brings
you over... no problems, I hope...
953
01:26:59,954 --> 01:27:02,329
Oh no, it's more like good news!
954
01:27:02,871 --> 01:27:04,330
Wait! wait!
955
01:27:05,164 --> 01:27:08,039
I have to explain the situation as it is!
956
01:27:11,122 --> 01:27:13,664
Maybe you haven't heard, since
you live away from the village...
957
01:27:13,748 --> 01:27:17,623
but what this community
needs is economic expansion!
958
01:27:18,706 --> 01:27:23,291
What all French villages
lack is... economic expansion!
959
01:27:23,707 --> 01:27:28,791
And what is more, an economic
expansion that will create jobs!
960
01:27:29,582 --> 01:27:32,667
That's something that
didn't exist in your youth!
961
01:27:33,708 --> 01:27:38,458
My dear co-citizens and friends,
listen carefully, it concerns you...
962
01:27:38,917 --> 01:27:41,124
You know about the housing
project "Les Gourdiflets"?
963
01:27:41,208 --> 01:27:42,908
Oh, our ears are still ringing...!
964
01:27:43,501 --> 01:27:46,459
Well, to make this
housing project complete,
965
01:27:46,709 --> 01:27:49,168
we're going to create
right here, where you live,
966
01:27:49,252 --> 01:27:51,085
an entertainment park!
967
01:27:51,627 --> 01:27:55,835
There'll be restaurants, pubs,
swings, everything you need to have fun!
968
01:27:56,419 --> 01:27:58,419
For everything, people will have to pay!
969
01:27:58,586 --> 01:28:02,211
They'll have to take out their
wallets every two minutes!
970
01:28:04,503 --> 01:28:07,712
Instead of Le Glaude's
shack... a parking lot...
971
01:28:09,296 --> 01:28:11,004
...4000 cars!!
972
01:28:13,004 --> 01:28:15,046
And instead of Le Glaude's fields...
973
01:28:15,379 --> 01:28:18,922
10,000 beach chairs and intelligent music!
974
01:28:19,172 --> 01:28:22,130
And instead of my shack,
what's there going to be?
975
01:28:24,088 --> 01:28:26,464
"The Rock of the Monkeys"!!!
976
01:28:29,131 --> 01:28:30,256
Get the hell out!
977
01:28:30,381 --> 01:28:32,631
You piece of shit... get the hell out!
978
01:28:33,673 --> 01:28:36,005
Ah, I warned them at the municipal council
979
01:28:36,089 --> 01:28:39,257
that you would be
troublemakers, just to spite us!
980
01:28:40,965 --> 01:28:44,130
If you weren't old and sick, I
would have you expropriated!
981
01:28:44,214 --> 01:28:46,716
But don't laugh too soon,
Cherasse and Ratinier...
982
01:28:47,425 --> 01:28:49,050
...very soon we'll win!
983
01:28:58,884 --> 01:29:04,260
The bulldozers and the shovels, they'll be
roaring in your ears, I guarantee you that!
984
01:29:04,344 --> 01:29:05,385
Out!
985
01:29:05,593 --> 01:29:09,760
Human wrecks... pile
of old bones... Me! Out?
986
01:29:11,510 --> 01:29:13,261
You'll be happy on Sundays
987
01:29:13,761 --> 01:29:16,178
when people will watch
you through the fence
988
01:29:16,594 --> 01:29:21,137
and will throw you
peanuts for fun, old wrecks!
989
01:30:15,725 --> 01:30:20,726
I told you so, that I'd make
your life hell, old fossils...
990
01:30:21,476 --> 01:30:23,351
and when you'll be at the cemetery,
991
01:30:23,893 --> 01:30:26,444
our community, having
gotten rid of you deadweights
992
01:30:27,019 --> 01:30:33,144
will finally be able to spread the
wings of economic expansion!!!
993
01:30:34,019 --> 01:30:38,062
Old fossils! I'll cook your goose, I will!
994
01:31:00,689 --> 01:31:03,648
The two nitwits! The two
nitwits! The two nitwits!
995
01:31:06,106 --> 01:31:10,148
Oh no, no, no... I can't
anymore... I can't anymore...
996
01:31:13,607 --> 01:31:16,649
No, no, no... It's over,
it's over, it's over...
997
01:31:18,024 --> 01:31:20,191
Wait..a little "canon"!
998
01:31:20,316 --> 01:31:21,525
A little "canon"...
999
01:31:26,233 --> 01:31:29,650
Tell me, Cicisse, how would
you like to live 200 years?
1000
01:31:29,734 --> 01:31:31,109
You're talking nonsense...
1001
01:31:31,359 --> 01:31:33,192
No, I'm just asking
you one single thing...
1002
01:31:33,276 --> 01:31:35,734
would you like to live till age 200?
1003
01:31:35,859 --> 01:31:37,109
Well, certainly not here!
1004
01:31:37,234 --> 01:31:39,485
That's the thing... it
wouldn't happen here...
1005
01:31:39,985 --> 01:31:43,444
Would it be on the moon, I'd
pack up my bundle right away!
1006
01:31:43,902 --> 01:31:48,352
Only one thing would bother me, my Glaude: to
leave you here, drinking all by yourself...
1007
01:31:48,486 --> 01:31:49,653
for 130 years!
1008
01:31:49,903 --> 01:31:53,278
That's why we'd leave
together, with the cat too!
1009
01:31:55,736 --> 01:31:57,569
He too would live to be 200?
1010
01:31:57,653 --> 01:31:59,196
Of course! So you agree?
1011
01:32:00,654 --> 01:32:03,446
Yes!...Yes!...Yes! Mon Gla!
1012
01:32:03,946 --> 01:32:05,862
Let's get the hell out, Mon Gla!
1013
01:32:09,488 --> 01:32:10,697
Oxo? Earth!
1014
01:32:11,863 --> 01:32:13,072
Oxo? Earth!
1015
01:32:13,947 --> 01:32:15,614
OXO? EARTH!
1016
01:32:15,739 --> 01:32:16,948
You're there, La Denree?
1017
01:32:17,364 --> 01:32:18,864
I'm here, Le Glaude!
1018
01:32:19,698 --> 01:32:21,864
La Denree, there's news!
1019
01:32:22,573 --> 01:32:25,657
Le Bombe is willing
to go, and with the cat!
1020
01:32:25,949 --> 01:32:26,990
And you, Le Glaude?
1021
01:32:27,407 --> 01:32:30,906
Well, if the cat and Le Bombe
leave, I follow them, of course!
1022
01:32:30,990 --> 01:32:34,156
At last, at last, you give
me "pleasure", Le Glaude!
1023
01:32:34,240 --> 01:32:35,783
Le Bombe is here, talk to him!
1024
01:32:36,325 --> 01:32:40,575
So, tinker with you airwaves so
he can hear you and see the box!
1025
01:32:41,116 --> 01:32:42,992
I'm calling back in 2 minutes!
1026
01:32:43,076 --> 01:32:45,117
OK, I'll bring him over!
1027
01:32:59,993 --> 01:33:02,944
Sit yourself here so you
won't hit the floor with your ass!
1028
01:33:08,036 --> 01:33:11,704
Look!...Look!
1029
01:33:15,870 --> 01:33:17,620
I can't see anything...
1030
01:33:17,704 --> 01:33:18,620
I can't hear anything...
1031
01:33:18,704 --> 01:33:19,913
Shut up! Don't disturb the airwaves!
1032
01:33:19,997 --> 01:33:21,038
Look!
1033
01:33:24,121 --> 01:33:25,330
Mr. Cherasse...
1034
01:33:27,413 --> 01:33:28,413
Mr. Cherasse...
1035
01:33:29,789 --> 01:33:31,081
Oxo! Earth?
1036
01:33:31,914 --> 01:33:33,039
Oxo! Earth?
1037
01:33:33,664 --> 01:33:36,747
This is La Denree... are
you there, Mr. Cherasse?
1038
01:33:36,831 --> 01:33:37,997
Say yes, dummy!
1039
01:33:39,915 --> 01:33:41,290
Well, yes... it's me...
1040
01:33:41,748 --> 01:33:43,623
Don't be afraid, Mr. Cherasse!
1041
01:33:44,498 --> 01:33:45,415
I'm not afraid...
1042
01:33:46,665 --> 01:33:49,666
Do you want to live 200
years, Mr. Cherasse?
1043
01:33:51,166 --> 01:33:52,749
I'd be very grateful...
1044
01:33:53,916 --> 01:33:58,416
Ahhh, I'm so happy,
Mr. Cherasse, with your decision!
1045
01:33:58,500 --> 01:34:00,042
Happy... happy!
1046
01:34:01,000 --> 01:34:03,959
I'll come tonight at
midnight for your departure...
1047
01:34:04,750 --> 01:34:07,918
Le Glaude! You'll introduce
to me Mr. Cherasse!
1048
01:34:08,002 --> 01:34:09,043
Yes!
1049
01:34:10,751 --> 01:34:11,793
Will there be soup?
1050
01:34:12,501 --> 01:34:13,668
We'll make some!
1051
01:34:14,460 --> 01:34:16,418
Will there be a little "canon" to drink?
1052
01:34:16,502 --> 01:34:17,752
There'll even be two!
1053
01:34:19,419 --> 01:34:21,669
See you soon, Mr. Cherasse!
1054
01:34:25,962 --> 01:34:26,795
So that's it!
1055
01:34:28,212 --> 01:34:30,962
What do you say, old nut?
1056
01:34:32,170 --> 01:34:33,379
I'd like to...
1057
01:34:33,754 --> 01:34:34,461
I'd like to...
1058
01:34:34,545 --> 01:34:36,545
If I don't drink a "canon" right away...
1059
01:34:37,338 --> 01:34:38,713
I'll be in a bad way!
1060
01:34:46,922 --> 01:34:48,372
I'm going to the post-office!
1061
01:34:49,630 --> 01:34:50,921
You'll be back, won't you?
1062
01:34:51,005 --> 01:34:52,089
You won't leave me all alone...
1063
01:34:52,173 --> 01:34:53,006
In one minute!
1064
01:35:12,050 --> 01:35:15,092
Madame... registered...
1065
01:36:02,138 --> 01:36:03,138
Francine!
1066
01:36:07,056 --> 01:36:09,138
There's registered mail
for you, I signed for you...
1067
01:36:09,222 --> 01:36:11,472
so, put it aside and
come back on the double!
1068
01:36:38,892 --> 01:36:44,935
My dear Francine, I'm going on a
trip, it would take too long to explain...
1069
01:36:45,893 --> 01:36:48,343
Here are a 3 or 4 pennies
that I'm sending you...
1070
01:36:49,185 --> 01:36:51,486
because where I'm
going, they're not needed...
1071
01:36:51,728 --> 01:36:53,103
which is not your case...
1072
01:36:53,853 --> 01:36:57,561
Put them in a savings
account, where they'll multiply...
1073
01:36:58,019 --> 01:37:00,395
Don't show them to your motorcyclist...
1074
01:37:00,854 --> 01:37:04,770
it's not because you know
me that you know men...
1075
01:37:06,020 --> 01:37:12,188
Beware of them like cholera, they're
all liars... thieves, and the like...
1076
01:37:12,605 --> 01:37:16,187
I kiss you tenderly,
and repeat once more...
1077
01:37:16,271 --> 01:37:19,981
...Be happy! Your old Glaude.
1078
01:37:57,026 --> 01:37:58,192
Let me introduce...
1079
01:37:58,276 --> 01:37:59,485
Mr. La Denree...
1080
01:38:00,026 --> 01:38:01,276
...Mr. Cherasse...
1081
01:38:02,860 --> 01:38:04,068
Hop in!
77669
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