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1
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,429
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,396
I just need a moment alone
with my mother.
3
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,199
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
4
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,671
Certainly I am. I mean, how can they
charge pay and display outside a church?
5
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,797
-I meant Mum. She's pretty upset.
-Hmm?
6
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,553
-Oh, yeah.
-It didn't help that Dad led
7
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,109
the funeral cortage
through the McDonald's drivethrough.
8
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,080
I was hungry!
9
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,517
Was it really the time for a Happy Meal?
10
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,398
Yeah, it's what Grace would have wanted.
11
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,600
(SIGHING) Yeah, I still don't know
why we didn't give Gran a cremation.
12
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,873
Set her alight with all
that booze inside her?
13
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,678
She'd have gone off like Krakatoa.
14
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,194
Look, I know how this is
a moment for us to grieve,
15
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:06,073
to muse upon the fragility of life
and to contemplate our own mortality,
16
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,197
but that guy's butt deserves a ceremony
all on its own.
17
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,232
Why don't you ask him out?
18
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:17,594
Idon't even know if he's gay.
19
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,512
Oh, he's gay all right.
20
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,795
How do you know?
21
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,599
Trust me, little brother, I can tell.
22
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,115
I've been studying men
a whole lot longer than you have and...
23
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:31,149
And over the years, I've developed a bit
of a sixth sense about these things.
24
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,799
He turned you down, didn't he?
25
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,677
Because he's gay.
26
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,317
Deirdre McAllister.
27
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,398
I knew your mother.
28
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,560
We were members
of the same erotic cinema club.
29
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,718
Nice to meet you.
30
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,110
Would you possibly tell me
how Grace went?
31
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Well, seeing as you asked.
32
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,112
Mum was backpacking around Australia
when she decided to join
33
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,919
a group bungee jump
with some Samoan bodybuilders.
34
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:06,678
Naturally, the bungee
couldn't take the strain.
35
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,549
It snapped halfway down sending them
all spiraling into the river below.
36
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,036
They survived the fall but...
37
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,190
The water was crocodile infested.
38
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,152
My brother went the same way.
39
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,314
Hello, Susan.
40
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,110
Hello.
41
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,679
It's good to see you again.
42
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,675
And you.
43
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,559
Sorry we're meeting
in these circumstances.
44
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:38,755
Yes.
45
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,191
I'm sorry we've obviously met before
but I've forgotten your name.
46
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:44,550
It's Arthur.
47
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,758
Ah. My father's was called Arthur.
48
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He still is.
49
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,510
No, he died 30 years ago.
50
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,352
No, he didn't.
51
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,919
Yes, he did.
52
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,320
He disappeared at sea.
53
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,910
On a trip to the South Pacific.
54
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,074
Yes, that's right.
55
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,717
How do you know so much
about my father Arthur, Arthur?
56
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,751
Susan, it's me.
57
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,715
Mum, here, drink this, okay?
58
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,150
-Dad.
-Hmm.
59
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,551
Listen, mum and Arthur aren't speaking.
Shouldn't you go and talk to him?
60
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,710
You know the rules, Janey.
61
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,440
Idon't converse with people
at social events.
62
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,989
(SIGHING) Yeah, but, Dad,
he's your father-in-law.
63
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,479
Yeah, it still applies.
64
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,120
Fine. Then you can just stay here with
me and talk about all my ex-boyfriends.
65
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:37,594
In chronological order.
66
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,200
Okay, yeah, okay.
67
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,354
All right, Arthur?
68
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,912
Having a good time? (CHUCKLING) Yeah.
69
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,673
She hates me, doesn't she?
70
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,398
Yeah, it's, uh...
71
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,037
(CLEARING THROAT) Hard to say really.
72
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,591
Does she always stare
at people in that manner?
73
00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,035
Mmm-hmm, try going to sleep
while she's doing it.
74
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:01,559
I can hardly blame her.
75
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,756
I abandoned her and her mother
and disappeared for 30 years.
76
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,480
Really? 30 years? (WHISTLING)
77
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,518
You what? Just like that? I mean...
78
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,314
(EXHALING) That's a...
79
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,435
How did you do it?
80
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,274
I mean, how did you do it exactly?
81
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,237
I mean, you can be as specific
as you want here.
82
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,435
-I beg your pardon...
-I mean, was it difficult
83
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,555
when you left them, you know?
84
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,074
I mean, theoretically,
would it be difficult just
85
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,470
to sort of take off
as it were, you know, or...
86
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,029
You know, change one's passport details.
87
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,757
Why are you so interested?
88
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,314
Oh, I was told to make chit-chat.
89
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,629
Hey, hey, hey.
90
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,074
Susan, we'll have to talk eventually.
91
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:45,913
Why did you come back?
Today of all days.
92
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,640
Oh, I didn't want to miss
saying goodbye to your mother.
93
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,638
We all thought you died at sea.
94
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:55,152
Well, my vessel did capsize,
but I was saved by a passing trawler.
95
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,594
How could you just
leave everything behind?
96
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,034
What was so much better?
97
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:02,080
I travelled the world,
salvaging shipwrecks, earning millions.
98
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,792
How could a wet afternoon in
Chiswick High Road compare to that?
99
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,392
We have a Tesco Metro now.
100
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,350
Look, Mike, I went to all
the trouble to bring him here.
101
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,078
Just go over to him.
102
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,315
What if he doesn't fancy me?
I couldn't take a bad rejection.
103
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,960
Oh, don't worry, he's an undertaker.
104
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,792
He'll be used to breaking bad news.
105
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,196
Oh, come on, Mike.
Come on, just give it a try.
106
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,438
Look, you're good looking,
you're bright,
107
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,033
and you've got
a great personality, yeah?
108
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,473
-Wow, thanks.
-Come on. Yeah, just don't say too much,
109
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,791
don't let him see your right side
and (SNIFFING) stay downwind of him.
110
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,160
-Hi.
-Hey.
111
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,552
So you're in the funeral business.
What's it like?
112
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,438
(EXHALING) It's a living. (CHUCKLES)
113
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,074
(LAUGHING)
114
00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,151
-Michael
-Uh, Sean.
115
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,957
I'm sorry,
was there something you wanted?
116
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,075
Well, I was just wondering, if say...
117
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,953
I wanted to buy a coffin.
118
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,154
What base material would you recommend?
119
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,677
(EXHALING) Well, panelled oak
and mahogany are very popular.
120
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,199
But they're also
in the region of £2,000.
121
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,630
Well, I'm not "coffing" up
that much. (LAUGHING)
122
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:29,795
Sorry.
123
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,551
So you're interested in coffins?
124
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,752
What? Is someone dying?
125
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:36,550
Only me.
126
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:39,310
You're dying?
127
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,430
Yes, Sean.
128
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,878
-How...
-Yes, I am.
129
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,313
God, I'm sorry.
130
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,236
Oh, I'm so, so sorry.
131
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,473
Ididn't even realise you were sick.
132
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,233
Oh, I'm sick all right.
133
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,311
Uh, listen I really should tell you.
134
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,960
What I said just now,
I'm not actually ill
135
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,075
Uh...
136
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,639
I'm really ill.
137
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,314
Really, really ill
138
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:20,519
Right, well, I think I'LL.
I'll turn in, mmm-hmm.
139
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:22,630
-Arthur?
-Hmm?
140
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,916
Um, what about Brazil?
141
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,314
-What?
-You know, vis-a-vis emigration thing?
142
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,830
You know, ‘cause the old Portugese
isn't too shabby
143
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,480
and I turn a nice shade
of bronze in the sun.
144
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,189
Okay, got you, talk to you later, okay.
145
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,869
All right, darling. I know, I know.
146
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,279
It's been a very rough day.
147
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,596
So anything you don't drink,
just tip it back in the bottle, okay?
148
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:50,989
Good night. (CLEARING THROAT)
149
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,429
So what do you think of Ben?
150
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:59,719
The man is a shallow,
uncouth, mean imbecile
151
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,760
with all the charm
of a Third World dictator.
152
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,314
You hardly know him.
153
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,278
Yet I can't disagree with any of it.
154
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,672
Did you see him at the graveside?
155
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:15,438
You're meant to sprinkle the earth
onto the coffin,
156
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,198
not kick it in with your feet
and mumble, "Let's get out of here."
157
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:23,072
Look, I could sit and listen to
you insult my husband all night but...
158
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,275
I'm sorry, Susan.
159
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:29,116
No, no, I really could but I'm tired
and it's been an emotional day.
160
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,911
I had such high hopes for you.
161
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,512
I thought you would have ended up
with someone worthy of you.
162
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,680
Instead, you've been dragged down
to his level.
163
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:43,950
Become embroiled in the same
spirit-sapping, insidious grief pit.
164
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:45,834
It's called marriage.
165
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,075
I'm going to bed.
166
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,471
I'll give you one million, Susan.
167
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,959
£1,000,000 to divorce him.
168
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,150
What?
169
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:01,951
Over the years, I have given money
to hundreds of worthy causes,
170
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,078
but this will be the best million
I've ever spent.
171
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:09,710
Are you seriously offering me
£1,000,000 to divorce Ben?
172
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,672
-That's right.
-Well, that's outrageous.
173
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,195
You can't put a price on a 3@-year bond.
174
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,714
Everything has its price.
175
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:21,079
Well, not my life partner,
my best friend, my one true soulmate.
176
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,950
I'm clearly not as shallow
as you think I am.
177
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,559
Two million?
178
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:31,715
Well?
179
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,469
Just give me a minute.
180
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,073
You know, Susan, I really hit it off
with your dad tonight.
181
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,434
Yeah, it's funny how sometimes people
just (SNAPPING FINGERS) click, you know.
182
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,036
Good man, Arthur, good man, yes.
Someone I could really admire.
183
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,191
~The man's completely flawed, Ben.
-Hmm?
184
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,556
He ran away from his family
and his responsibilities.
185
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:54,994
And the flaws were?
186
00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,353
Look, I don't like saying this but he
wasn't exactly complimentary about you.
187
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,389
-Really? what did he say?
-0h, no, no, no, forget it, forget it.
188
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,709
Wasn't even worth mentioning.
189
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,390
The sooner Dad's gone, the better.
190
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:09,550
Oh, okay.
191
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:11,669
(BEN CLEARING THROAT)
192
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,352
SUSAN: I mean it's ridiculous, really.
193
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,111
Almost laughable, actually.
194
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,233
If it's so ridiculous,
why don't you tell me?
195
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,438
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
it's crazy, forget it, forget it.
196
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,830
SUSAN: He offered me £2,000,000
to divorce you.
197
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,989
He thinks I'm only worth 2,000,000 quid?
198
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,040
What an insult? £2,000,000!
199
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,269
I told you it wasn't worth mentioning.
200
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,193
I'm telling you, Susan.
I mean, he thinks he can pay someone off
201
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,159
for a measly £2,000,000.
Come on, please!
202
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,551
That would be paid straight
into our account? (LAUGHING MOCKINGLY)
203
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,278
Two million pounds.
204
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:04,998
All the same,
£2,000,000 is an awful lot, Ben.
205
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,959
I'm saying it, Susan,
because it is... (STAMMERS)
206
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,792
Two million pounds!
207
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,119
-Ridiculous.
It is, isn't it?
208
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,520
Absolutely.
209
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,679
I mean, having said that...
210
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,632
Couples nowadays don't really have
to be married, do they?
211
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:22,790
True.
212
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,394
I mean, you know, it's only a piece
of paper, when all's said and done.
213
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,553
-Also, true.
- (CLEARING THROAT)
214
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,195
I mean, we know in our hearts
we love each other, don't we?
215
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,554
We do? Oh, we do.
216
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,993
I mean, our marriage
can survive anything.
217
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,589
Anything, even...
218
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,149
Even divorce.
219
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,958
We're seriously considering this?
220
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,519
Taking my father's money?
221
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,672
I mean, he left you 30 years ago, Susan.
He owes you that money.
222
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,030
But it's absurd.
223
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,680
But it won't mean anything.
It's only for show.
224
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,111
(SIGHING) I don't know, we get divorced,
take the money
225
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,874
and then get married again.
226
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,157
You know... (EXCLAIMING)
227
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,834
Victimless crime. (LAUGHING)
228
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:11,909
God, you're good.
229
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,719
-Susan Harper.
-Oh, this is all so sudden.
230
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,669
Would you make me the happiest man
231
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,075
-in the world?
-I can't believe this is happening.
232
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,320
Would you do me the honour?
233
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,075
Twill
234
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,598
Would you do me the honour?
235
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,875
Twill
236
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,710
please divorce me.
237
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,950
Oh, Ben, you don't know
how long I've been waiting
238
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,111
to hear those three little words.
239
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,471
-Come here.
-No, no, Ben.
240
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,675
Not before the divorce.
241
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:55,909
Okay.
242
00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,312
So let me get this straight.
You want a divorce.
243
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,515
As soon as possible.
244
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,318
-On what grounds?
-What do you recommend?
245
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,232
(LAUGHING) Well,
it's not for me to recommend.
246
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,879
You're the ones who want a divorce.
247
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,918
-What's the most popular?
-Hmm.
248
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,355
Irreconcilable differences
is the most common.
249
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,399
Well, that's a bit bland, isn't it?
I mean, after 30 years...
250
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,073
Do you have anything a bit spicier?
251
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:20,116
Well, there's desertion but you have
to have lived apart for two years.
252
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,919
Ah, well, I have slept
in the spare room a couple of times.
253
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,399
(BOTH LAUGHING)
254
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,278
Yes, um, I get the impression
you're not taking this very seriously.
255
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,476
-BOTH: Oh, we are, we are.
-We loathe each other. (LAUGHING)
256
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,039
Absolutely. (LAUGHING)
257
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:39,356
I know, I know. How about adultery?
258
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,909
-(GASPING) Oh, yes, well done.
-Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
259
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,833
And which one of you
has been adulterous?
260
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:44,990
BOTH: Me.
261
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,639
You? Who with?
262
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:47,755
George Clooney.
263
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,595
Oh, yes, oh... (CHUCKLING)
264
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,834
Uh, me, uh, with Katie Price.
265
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,672
Hmm, how about them apples?
266
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,034
So you want those names
published in the petition?
267
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,555
Published?
268
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,432
Well, it was a bit dark and...
269
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,275
I couldn't have been too sure.
270
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:09,513
No, no, and Katie Price
really wouldn't want the publicity.
271
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:11,510
So what else have you got?
272
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,035
Look, this isn't a fast-food restaurant.
273
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,037
You're meant to come in here
with a reason.
274
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,871
Okay, all right, fine.
Irreconcilable differences. Agreed?
275
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,280
-Oh, agreed.
-Fine.
276
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,678
And, of course, we're going to have
to sort out the division of assets.
277
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,395
Well, that will take ages.
Can't we do this here and now?
278
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,517
Well, it would speed things up
if one of you were prepared
279
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,398
to hand over all the assets
to the other one.
280
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,357
Oh, that's the cabbage, fine.
281
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,829
I'll take everything.
Bish-bash-bosh, where do I sign?
282
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,274
Hang on, hang on,
why do you take everything?
283
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,033
It's just a technicality, Susan.
284
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,031
Oh, fine, well, I'll take everything.
285
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:43,880
I'll draw up the documents.
286
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,756
Though, I'm inclined to say,
"Would you like fries with that?"
287
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,160
(BOTH LAUGHING)
288
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,958
So how many days before we get divorced?
289
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,759
Oh, try months. You have to wait
for the decree to come through.
290
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,150
No, no, no, no, no, no,
we need the divorce today.
291
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,719
(LAUGHING) That can't be done.
292
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,758
There's a six-week grace period
and then it becomes a formal procedure.
293
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,116
Right, well,
can we have a note or something?
294
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,430
Well, it's just that we want
to show her dad.
295
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,552
(SIGHING) I can write you an invoice
for filing the documents.
296
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,553
Good, perfect, that's great.
You're very, very nice. Yeah, yeah.
297
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,711
(LAUGHS) This is the happiest day
of my life.
298
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,835
(BOTH LAUGHING)
299
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,196
-Oh, the air tastes so fresh.
-I know.
300
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,157
(CHUCKLING) You wait
for something for so long,
301
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,958
you never think it's gonna be this good
302
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,509
but, honestly, this is so much better.
303
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,999
-Not too much?
-A bit, yeah.
304
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,318
So, Mike, I never asked.
305
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,313
How was your undertaking
with the undertaker?
306
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:35,915
Not bad.
307
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,755
We had a long chat and at the end
of it, he gave me a big hug.
308
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,558
Oh, well done, you.
309
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,756
Sounds like you two
might have a future together, hmm?
310
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,593
Not much of a future.
I told him I was dying.
311
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:50,957
Michael, that never worked
with the girls.
312
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,589
I panicked.
313
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,518
I thought there was more chance
of him liking me if I was...
314
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:55,835
Dead?
315
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,113
It's always good
to have a shared interest.
316
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,395
(SIGHING)
317
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:00,515
It made sense at the time.
318
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,517
No, that's you two finished, then.
319
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,796
Actually, no,
he's called me three times.
320
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,919
So he's either interested
or he wants your measurements.
321
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,514
Tell you what, my dear.
- (LAUGHING)
322
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,194
You've put on a few pounds
since we last did this.
323
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,833
Or my muscles have got weaker.
324
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,396
Oh, never mind,
nothing can ruin this day.
325
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,550
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
326
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:20,675
Sorry but what's going on?
327
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,671
BOTH: We're getting divorced. (LAUGHING)
328
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,873
Finally.
-Good for you.
329
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,830
Thanks for you support
but it's not a proper divorce.
330
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,389
No, we're doing it
for your grandad's benefit, okay.
331
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,517
-So where is he?
-In there watching telly.
332
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,159
Oh, great. Now listen.
333
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,592
Your father and I are going
to stage a nasty argument
334
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:38,875
and we need you to play along.
335
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,554
-I don't understand.
-Just act as if
336
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,994
you're playing us off
against each other.
337
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,516
Uh, no, Mum, I'm sorry but I don't want
any part of your freak show, okay?
338
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,831
Mmm, he's gonna pay us
two million quid if we divorce.
339
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,194
-(SIGHING) I'm in.
-Good.
340
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,230
What about you, Michael?
341
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,711
-What?
-Is everything all right?
342
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,396
I lied to somebody, Mum.
Someone I have feelings for.
343
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,993
Just to get them to like me.
344
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,159
He's a Harper.
345
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,718
Haven't we always taught you,
Michael, to be yourself?
346
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:09,478
Your decency and your inner core
is what people respond to,
347
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,789
not cheap lies.
348
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,153
You're right. The next time I see him,
I'll tell him the truth.
349
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,232
Good for you, darling.
Honesty is the best policy.
350
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:21,637
Now if you'll excuse us. We have to go
and cheat your grandad out of two mil.
351
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,755
Okay, you ready, you old hag?
352
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,036
-What?
-I'm just getting into character.
353
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,353
I want you out of my Life!
354
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,589
No, I want you out of mine.
355
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,114
-Neanderthal.
-You harpy!
356
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,476
-You make me sick.
-You're a pain in the arse.
357
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:36,914
You're crap in bed.
358
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,429
Please, boundaries.
359
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,950
-You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
-You'll be hearing from mine.
360
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,075
Mmm.
361
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,631
I said, "You'll be hearing from mine."
362
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:51,350
Oh, great, great. Just don't tell me
I've wasted my performance.
363
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:52,590
Performance?
Is that what you're callling it?
364
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,353
It was a very good performance
and I knew my lines.
365
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,353
Oh, well, I'm sorry,
but I was word perfect.
366
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,999
Oh, and so over the top.
367
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,593
Oh, how dare you.
368
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,875
Arthur?
369
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,595
Arthur?
370
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,676
Ben, I think there's been an accident.
371
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,353
Well, go easy on the man,
he's getting on a bit.
372
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,874
No, no, not that kind.
373
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:18,715
He's gone.
374
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,559
Wasn't our acting, was it?
375
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,114
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
376
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,597
Oh, anyone else getting
the feeling of déja vu?
377
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:33,955
Sean?
378
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:35,950
Hi, Michael.
379
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,630
Fancy grabbing a coffee?
I've got something to tell you.
380
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,631
This is really not a good time for me.
381
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,878
You've just come out
of a relationship, haven't you?
382
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,871
No, I'm carrying your dead grandfather.
383
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,155
Idiot.
384
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:50,679
There's something I've been
meaning to tell you.
385
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,159
I phoned dad's solicitor.
386
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,635
And?
387
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,832
Dad was broke. It was all a lie.
388
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,275
All right.
389
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,318
So the man who Left his family,
faked his own death,
390
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,550
and changed his identity was a liar.
391
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,234
(SCOFFING) Who saw that coming?
392
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,918
-Nice to see you.
-Hello. Thanks for coming.
393
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,070
(CLEARING THROAT)
394
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:16,398
Well, perfect.
We filed the divorce for nothing.
395
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,878
Show a little compassion, will you?
396
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,395
I've just been orphaned.
397
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,994
You're a middle-aged woman, Susan,
not Annie.
398
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,759
I can't believe I've lost both of them.
399
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,592
-Both millions.
-Both parents.
400
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,114
Parents. Sorry, that's what I meant.
401
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,349
-Hey.
-Thought that would be you.
402
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,917
-Come again?
-Inside it.
403
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:37,829
Why would I be inside...
404
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,911
Oh, the whole dying thing, right.
405
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,638
What did you want to talk about?
406
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,316
Um, well, the thing is... (STAMMERS)
407
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,834
Yes, Michael.
408
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,600
Uh, I forget.
409
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,310
The memory loss is
another one of my symptoms
410
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,793
and actually needing
physical comfort constantly.
411
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,597
Your family really have shaky health,
don't they?
412
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,957
I know. Tragic. Tragic.
413
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,431
So you free to go out tomorrow?
414
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,318
You sure you're well enough
to be going out?
415
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,833
I want to live every day
as if it's my last.
416
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,074
Oh, you're so brave.
417
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:17,994
Iam, aren't I?
418
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,319
You know, the only thing
that gets me through these days?
419
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,109
A hug.
420
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,114
Come here, you.
421
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,671
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
422
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,275
Please stop that, Susan,
you're creeping me out.
423
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:45,078
1 just feel so dirty.
424
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,236
We've sacrificed our marriage for money.
425
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,879
I'm so disappointed.
426
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,678
I know. I know.
427
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,752
But money would have been brilliant.
428
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,916
The only thing that makes your heart
beat fast is the thought of £2,000,000.
429
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,230
Aren't you at all guilty
about what we've done?
430
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,711
1 suppose you're right.
Yeah, okay, okay.
431
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,030
We better go down
and cancel the divorce.
432
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:11,031
Oh, do me a favour, why don't you?
433
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,519
If it's gonna be a burden for you...
434
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,876
That's not what I meant and you know it.
435
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,554
Iam into this marriage,
like you, wholeheartedly.
436
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,119
And I will go down
to that solicitor's office
437
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,714
whenever your precious,
little heart so desires.
438
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:23,390
How about Thursday?
439
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,039
Uh, golf.
440
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,680
-Friday?
-Ah, getting a haircut.
441
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:28,830
Sergio's managed to fit me in.
442
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,878
Oh, well, if it's going
to inconvenience Sergio,
443
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,434
let's just go through with the divorce.
444
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,113
No, no, no, no, no, he's very busy.
445
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,079
-Oh, Ben.
-I mean, you can't... Susan...
446
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,594
If you just... Look.
447
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,672
I'm sorry but things are really
taking off with him right now.
448
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:44,798
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
449
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,830
Hey.
450
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:52,990
Hey.
451
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,474
I really appreciate the lift, Janey.
452
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,756
I can't be late
for my first date with Sean.
453
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,110
You mean your last date.
454
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,472
Due to the small matter
that you'll be dead by next Tuesday?
455
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:03,595
Will you just drop it, please?
456
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,318
No, seriously, Michael, it's beautiful.
457
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,357
I mean, boy meets gay undertaker,
458
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,432
boy pretends he's dying
to dupe gay undertaker into liking him,
459
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,911
boy can't tell him the truth or
gay undertaker will kill boy for real.
460
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,997
It's a story as old as time itself.
461
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,319
Hey, where are you two off to?
462
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:19,470
-Do you really care?
-No overly.
463
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,153
Just being polite. Ta-ra.
464
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,229
Hello.
465
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:28,675
Mmm-hmm.
466
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:30,789
You're sitting in my chair.
467
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,474
Your chair?
468
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,312
And you've done my crossword.
469
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,720
I think you'll find it's my crossword,
470
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,269
and I think you'll find I've done it
in half the time it takes you.
471
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,149
Okay, what's going on here?
472
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,835
Don't you remember
when we filed for the divorce?
473
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,354
You said you'd give everything to me.
474
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,198
1 also said I slept with Jordan.
475
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,995
Technically, I'll own everything here.
476
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,555
You can keep your clothes.
477
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,680
I'm not completely heartless
or tasteless.
478
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,158
Susan, you're being ridiculous.
479
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,875
You don't value our marriage at all.
All you care about is money.
480
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,354
No. (STAMMERS) I value...
481
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,473
Isn't it okay to value both?
482
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,473
Hey, darling. My love.
483
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,755
Would you make me
the happiest man in the world
484
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,349
(FALTERING) and m...m... Undivorce me.
485
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,438
-Well...
-My knee's starting to spasm.
486
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:18,590
-Oh, fine.
Fine. Good.
487
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:19,715
-If...
-If...
488
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:20,995
If you sign this.
489
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,150
What's this?
490
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,073
It's says I retain ownership
of everything here,
491
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,594
even if the divorce gets cancelled.
492
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,239
It's called a post-nup.
493
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,277
But this is ridiculous,
I'm not signing this.
494
00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:31,475
-No?
-No.
495
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:32,870
Look, Ben.
496
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,315
I'm not asking for the world.
497
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,711
All I'm asking for
is one romantic gesture.
498
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,359
-Would that kill you?
-All right.
499
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:41,830
You can sit in my chair.
500
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,560
I don't want your chair!
I want you to sign this.
501
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,313
What could be more romantic
than a man giving up
502
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:47,674
everything for the woman he loves.
503
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,194
It's called sacrifice.
504
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,393
Why can't I just slit a goat's throat
on an altar somewhere?
505
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,312
(THUNDER CRACKING)
506
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,950
Listen, Ben, I realised last night
507
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,429
that we've lost touch
with what makes marriage important,
508
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,399
and you could lose
a lot of very valuable things
509
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:08,599
including the one possession that should
be more important to you that any other.
510
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,232
Yeah, okay, what the hell?
511
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,760
Hey, I'm not gonna meet anyone else
at my age, am I?
512
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,478
Fine, fine, I'll sign it.
513
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,279
I just want things to go back
to the way they were, okay?
514
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,314
I love you.
515
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:27,355
And I don't care if I don't have
anything as long as I have you.
516
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,598
And, hey, Ido love you, by the way.
517
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,194
Thank you.
518
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:36,755
Now what are you doing?
519
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,194
I've got what I wanted.
520
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:41,113
We've got our confetti.
Let's go to the solicitors right now.
521
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:42,759
No, but I tee off in an hour.
522
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,353
(THUNDER CRACKING)
523
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,794
Okay, let's go. I'm ready.
524
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,592
So you don't have a boyfriend, then?
525
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,549
No. There just don't seem to be guys
out there who fit what I'm looking for.
526
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,600
For me, the two really important
qualities are a good sense of humour
527
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,830
and, most of all, honesty.
528
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,914
Yeah, a good sense
of humour is really important, isn't it?
529
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:08,999
Look, I should say now.
530
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,789
I just don't think I can get involved
with you, Michael.
531
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,153
I'd be too distraught when you go.
532
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,549
So, hypothetically,
533
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,754
if, say, I had a clean bill of health,
534
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,234
you'd be interested in me.
535
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,149
Hypothetically.
536
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,992
Of course, I would, silly. (LAUGHING)
537
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,198
Hmm, okay, well.
538
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:33,671
I might be party to some information
539
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,754
that could flip this whole
crazy situation on its head.
540
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:40,157
Really? What is it?
541
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,911
I might not be dying exactly.
542
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:47,509
What do you mean?
543
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,197
1 sort of made up a bit of it.
544
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,071
-What bit?
~The dying bit.
545
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:55,794
Phew! (SIGHING)
546
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,829
I'm glad we've got that out of the way.
Now we can be together.
547
00:25:58,920 --> 00:25:59,955
Yay for us.
548
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:03,955
High five?
549
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,270
You missed.
550
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,797
So let me get this straight.
You want to cancel the divorce?
551
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:16,915
-You sure?
-Absolutely.
552
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,911
-I was talking to her.
-Uh, sorry.
553
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,594
Of course, that's what we want.
We're just two crazy kids in love.
554
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,159
And I love her, blah, blah, blah.
555
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,833
He's my soulmate, blah, blah, blah.
556
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,639
Till death us do part,
et cetera, et cetera.
557
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,031
It's Romeo and Juliet all over again.
558
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,116
Plus, we want to re-establish
the fifty-fifty property split.
559
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:35,713
But, of course, that's not
the most important thing.
560
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,916
But, of course, that's not
the most important thing.
561
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,396
But if I could get it in writing anyway.
562
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:46,235
So the all-in price
for cancelling the divorce
563
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,233
comes out at £1,250.
564
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:55,478
But, of course, couples nowadays
don't really have to be married...
565
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,592
(CLEARING THROAT) I'll write a cheque.
566
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,159
Well, I hope I never have
another week like that.
567
00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:04,555
No, you won't.
568
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,992
You haven't got any more parents left.
569
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,640
No, that came out all wrong, sorry.
570
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:15,079
I'm serious, Ben.
571
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,274
Idon't think I could take any more.
572
00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:19,033
-(SUSHING) It's all right.
- (SNIFFING)
573
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:20,680
(BOTH CRYING)
574
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,514
Oh, I know, it's been very emotional.
575
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:27,673
(SUSHING)
576
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:32,633
You're not crying
about my parents, are you?
577
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:33,949
You can't prove that.
578
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,111
(THUNDER CRACKING)
43869
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