Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,435
(VACUUM CLEANER BUZZES)
2
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,512
You've missed a bit!
3
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,358
My sincere apologies, Your Highness(!)
4
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,074
Can I fluff a couple of pillows for you?
5
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,713
That would be lovely.
6
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:19,669
Thank you!
7
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,638
You said you'd help me with the cleaning.
8
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,433
Doesn't sound like something I would say.
9
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,394
I know. It's right up there with, "No,
please, I insist on paying for dinner."
10
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,637
- Hi!
- Oh, hello!
11
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,990
Did you have fun
with Mum and Dad at the zoo today?
12
00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,838
1 saw a pigeon.
13
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,396
A pigeon! Well,
that's worth the price of admission.
14
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,317
Mummy, please can I go and get a drink?
15
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:44,998
Of course you can.
16
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,270
Thanks for taking me to the zoo, Dad.
17
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,517
- Any time, kiddo.
- Ah-ha, Mark!
18
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:51,880
- It's good to see you again, Ben.
- Yes!
19
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,434
Give him time.
He doesn't know you like we do.
20
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,357
Well, we're seeing
a lot more of you of late.
21
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,516
Well, got a lot of time
to make up with Kenzo.
22
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,029
Not all of us could be amazing parents
like you straight off, Ben.
23
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,832
He really doesn't know you like we do.
24
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,633
No, really, you make
being a good dad look easy.
25
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,432
Oh, well, I don't like to brag.
26
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,232
You have to be good at things to brag.
27
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,794
Right, um, I'm off, then.
28
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,558
Er, speak to you later, Janey?
29
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,796
Yeah. Today was lovely. Thanks, Mark.
30
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:20,430
- Bye, Mark.
- Yeah.
31
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,194
Good man, that Mark.
Glad to see he's stepping up.
32
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,878
- Do you want something to eat?
- No, thanks, Mum.
33
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,115
Craig's taking me for dinner.
34
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,231
Oh, really? I'm so glad Craig's found time
35
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,955
in his busy schedule as a shiftless
layabout to let you buy him dinner.
36
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,399
Have you ever heard the expression,
37
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,114
"If you don't have anything nice to say,
don't say anything at all"?
38
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,754
How about, "If you don't stop talking,
I'L smother you in your sleep"?
39
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,234
Yeah, that rings a bell.
40
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,799
- All right, Benno? How are you, mate?
- Gainfully employed. You?
41
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,513
Yeah, well played.
42
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,517
That's as funny as the first 25 times
you've said it.
43
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,550
(CHUCKLES)
44
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,275
- Oh, wow, a
, you look amazin,
g!
45
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:12,958
BOTH: Mwah!
46
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,832
Ah, and you smell amazing, too.
47
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,599
Well, she's showered -
it's an old English custom.
48
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,514
I had something for you here...
Now, where did I put it?
49
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,632
Oh, no, I must have left it somewhere.
50
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,469
Oh, my gosh, you are as cute as a kitten.
51
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:29,510
- Grr!
- (SLAPY)
52
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:30,550
- (GIGGLES)
- (GROWLS)
53
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,511
(SLAP!)
54
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,110
Well, I guess we'll be off, guys.
Nice talking with you.
55
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,673
Come by any time, Craig.
56
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:41,600
Any time I'm not here, Craig. Nice boy.
57
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:44,234
- I'L really miss him.
- He likes her,
58
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,191
she likes him - what is your problem?
59
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,560
I just think she can do better.
60
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,240
And I think one day she'll appreciate me
for pointing it out.
61
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,759
Mmm, perhaps you're right.
62
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,191
God knows, I wish somebody
had done the same for me!
63
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:02,640
OK, so what can we do for you today,
Mr...Best Friend?!
64
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,909
"Best Friend"? That's a bit...
65
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,951
Top of the morning to you, Mr Best Friend!
66
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,397
Roger, what are you doing here?
67
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,351
I just came by
for my annual cleaning.
68
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,232
Which you had two months ago.
69
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,237
My semi-annual cleaning, then.
70
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,873
Roger, it is your holiday.
71
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:20,197
Your holiday. That means
you don't have to come in to the surgery,
72
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,913
and I get to have a pleasant week.
73
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,951
I don't want to be on my own, Ben.
74
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,196
I miss being in a relationship.
75
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,117
Will I ever find love again?
76
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,639
Of course you will, Roger.
77
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:33,036
Of course you will. There are lots
of desperate women out there.
78
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,070
You think?
79
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:38,193
Mmm. Somewhere out there is a hopeless
loser who has completely given up.
80
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,958
- But where do I find her?
- Well, one thing's for sure,
81
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,879
Roger, it won't be in here.
82
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,433
Ah, Mark!
83
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,039
- Hello.
- Come in, come in!
84
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,195
What can I do for you?
85
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,470
Wanted to have a moment,
if I could, sir?
86
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,911
Sir! Entrez, entrez. Have a seat.
87
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,712
Can I get you a mouthwash?
88
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,637
Only joking. (CHUCKLES)
89
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,310
There was something
I wanted to discuss with you.
90
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,589
You're a good man, Ben...
91
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,871
- Ben, there are no women out here...
- Out!
92
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,957
...man of integrity, old-fashioned values.
93
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,911
One tries. One tries.
94
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,997
And I've been trying my best of late
95
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,032
to live up to the values
you represent as a father.
96
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,720
Well, it's a hard act to follow, Mark,
hard act to follow.
97
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,832
Which brings me to the purpose
of my visit.
98
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:24,555
Now, I know I've made mistakes in the past
but I'm a different man now. A better man.
99
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,638
And I'm interested in being more
than just Kenzo's father.
100
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,394
I'd also like to be...Janey's husband.
101
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,000
Plot twist.
102
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,670
You see, I want to ask Janey to marry me
so the three of us can be a proper family.
103
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,870
Why would you want me living with you?!
104
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,877
Kenzo.
105
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,354
Kenzo, yes, sorry!
106
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,073
(CHUCKLES)
107
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:50,069
So, from a father who can only hope
to measure up to your standards,
108
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:54,398
I'd like your permission to ask
for Janey's hand in marriage...sir.
109
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,272
Well, you have it, sir.
110
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,789
You have it indeed.
111
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,069
Thank you!
112
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,636
And I promise to repay your largesse
by making your daughter
113
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,159
as happy as you make Susan.
114
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,238
Ooh...aim a little higher, OK?
115
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,270
A -little higher.
116
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,119
Craig!
117
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,069
I'm afraid you've just missed Janey.
118
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,715
- Actually, I came round to talk with you.
- Coffee?
119
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,159
Er, sure.
120
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,998
Yeah, there's something
I wanted to discuss with you.
121
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,998
- You're a good woman, Susan.
- Yes, I know.
122
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,553
And beautiful.
123
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:32,954
If you insist.
124
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,434
You know, they say...
125
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,791
- Milk?
- Er, sure. Yeah, they say...
126
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,069
Sugar?
127
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,474
Er, yeah, yeah.
128
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,990
They say that if you want to know what
a woman will look like when she's older,
129
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:47,829
just take a look at her mother and,
er, standing here with you now,
130
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,394
I just know that Janey's
only going to get more and more divine.
131
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,556
They do say that, don't they?
132
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,113
Sit.
133
00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,153
Um, the thing of it is,
134
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:05,149
I love Janey, and I know I don't have much
to offer her in the way of fancy things -
135
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,555
you know, cars and jewellery -
136
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:12,356
but I want to grow old with her
and I want to get your blessing
137
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,630
to ask Janey to marry me.
138
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,518
Isn't it traditional to ask the father
for his blessing?
139
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,439
Ah, traditions were made
to be broken...
140
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,835
especially when Benno is the father.
141
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,518
You have my blessing.
142
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,756
- Ask away.
- Ah, thank you!
143
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,950
Thank you, Susan.
I'm going to make Janey so happy.
144
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,514
And my husband so mad.
145
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,393
It's a win-win for all of us.
146
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,636
- Biscuit?
- Oh, sure.
147
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,429
Hang on. You're not going to hit 35
148
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:45,189
and metamorphose into some
misanthropic misogynist, are you?
149
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,754
I don't know any of those words.
150
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,399
Welcome to the family, son.
151
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,593
# I've got big news. #
152
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,074
Not as big as my news.
153
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,509
- I don't think so.
- Oh, but Ido.
154
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,916
I bet your news is crap news
compared to my news.
155
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,474
My news will slice up your news
like a salami.
156
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,558
OK, well, I had a little visit today
157
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,319
from a certain gentleman caller
of Janey's.
158
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:15,839
- You did?
-Idid.
159
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,439
And did he ask you for something?
160
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,835
- He did indeed.
- And?
161
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,598
I gave him my blessing.
162
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,109
- You did?!
-Idid.
163
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,753
Oh, Ben. I am so proud of you.
164
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,837
I invoke pride in others, "tis true.
165
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,030
What's your news?
166
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,198
He came round to the house
and asked me for my blessing, too.
167
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,516
- He did?
- Mmm, he did.
168
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:36,595
- Are you upset?
- No.
169
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,109
No, no, no. I mean, it's traditional
170
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:43,233
that the father's blessing
carries more weight but, er...
171
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:47,319
I thought my blessing would have been
blessing enough, but...
172
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,078
For a sneeze, maybe(!)
173
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,111
Anyway, let's not argue.
This is good news.
174
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,390
- It's great news - the best.
- Yes. So you're happy?
175
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,590
- Very. You?
- Very.
176
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,392
I wonder where Janey and Craig
will go on honeymoon.
177
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,795
Well, I hear Morocco...
Janey and Craig?!
178
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,514
- Yes, why?
- You mean Janey and Mark?
179
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,233
Mark?!
180
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,749
Mark asked for your blessing
to marry Janey?
181
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,757
Yes, and I gave it.
182
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,029
But they're not even dating!
183
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,559
Well, they should be.
184
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,796
I can't believe you gave Craig
your blessing!
185
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,400
- Craig and Janey are in love.
- So were we and look how that turned out.
186
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,238
Don't you want Janey to be happy?
187
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,750
When did marriage
have anything to do with happiness?
188
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,751
- I guess I'm sleeping in the spare room.
- Yes, you are.
189
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,119
Morning.
190
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,435
What are you two fighting about today?
191
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,391
Nothing.
192
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,034
What makes you think we're fighting?
193
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,832
You're in the same room.
194
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,951
It's just that your m...
195
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,276
A friend of ours
is having a little problem.
196
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,038
Well, actually, their daughter does.
197
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:57,118
Yes, it seems that she's going to get
two marriage proposals
198
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,355
from two different guys.
199
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,835
(CHUCKLES) What a slapper!
200
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,239
Well, her father wasn't around much.
201
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:11,593
Yes, and her mother is
an overbearing control freak. Anyway,
202
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,870
apparently, this woman
has got to decide between
203
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,150
the responsible, working father
of her child...
204
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,191
Or a cute, fun-loving Australian.
205
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,278
(COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS)
206
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,231
Mark and Craig want to propose to me?!
207
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,112
Who told you?
208
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,912
How do you two know this?
209
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,839
Well, because Mark,
being a proper gentleman,
210
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,952
came to me and asked for my blessing
in the traditional manner.
211
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,880
And Craig, knowing your father to be
an imbecile, asked me for my blessing.
212
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,992
Wow! Well, this is kind of cool.
213
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,714
Two men want me
and it's not even Friday night.
214
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,798
So tell me,
when they do get round to asking,
215
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,071
who do you think you'll go with?
Mark, or Craig?
216
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,599
- Mark?
- Or Craig?
217
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,472
- Mark?
- I honestly don't know.
218
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,670
It depends on what they have to say,
how they say it,
219
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,552
and how I feel when they do.
220
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,238
I guess my heart will answer for me.
221
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,637
My guy is going to win.
222
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:09,231
My guy is going to win, OK?
So in your face, Susan!
223
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,475
Stop it. Stop it, Ben.
224
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,672
This is not about you and me,
this is Janey's life we're talking about.
225
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,199
It's time for us to step back.
226
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,436
What, so we stay out of it, yeah?
227
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,437
Leave the decision to the kids, right?
228
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,470
Precisely.
229
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,794
- Completely?
- Entirely.
230
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,319
- Done?
- Done.
231
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,112
Thanks for the coffee...
232
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,673
...darling.
233
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,155
You're welcome...sweetheart.
234
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:38,550
(PHONE BEEPS)
235
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,590
Susan?
236
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:43,750
Ben?
237
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:45,949
Who were you calling?
238
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,196
No-one. Who were you calling?
239
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,436
No-one.
240
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,357
Then why did you pick up the phone?
241
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,910
I was just about to clean it.
242
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,949
OK. Bye, then.
243
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,717
- Susan!
- Janey is marrying Craig.
244
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,717
- Over my dead body.
- Oh, fine!
245
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,080
We'll find someone else
to walk Janey down the aisle.
246
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,918
She is marrying Mark!
247
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:14,950
- Craig!
- Mark!
248
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:15,990
- Craig!
-M..!
249
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,509
- Aw...
- Oh, I'm so stupid, I forgot my keys.
250
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,836
- Ah, lovely.
- Yes.
251
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,190
- Mm... Mark!
- Craig!
252
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,833
- Look, Susan...
- No, you look, Ben.
253
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,075
I am going to help Craig
254
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,351
put a marriage proposal together
that will make Janey swoon.
255
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,199
- Yes, from nausea, no doubt.
- Oh, you think you can do better?
256
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:36,154
Look, I do know a thing or two about
asking a woman to marry me. Remember?
257
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,113
As I recall, you were so drunk,
you muttered something
258
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,710
about two lives becoming one
before heaving and passing out.
259
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,320
As I recall, you said yes.
260
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:46,998
- I was drunk, too.
- Oh...
261
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,838
(KNOCKING)
262
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,235
- Hi.
- Hello, Janey.
263
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:52,554
What's up, Rog?
264
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:57,276
Oh, I'm just making the most
of my week off. How are you, Janey?
265
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,709
Yeah.
266
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,071
Oh, sorry, sorry, Rog,
my mind was somewhere else.
267
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,157
- Oh, my mind does that, too.
- Yeah.
268
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,759
Slips out for a coffee.
269
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,235
Never know
if it's going to come back or not.
270
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,318
No, it's just I've got a decision to make.
271
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,352
A big decision. Involving love.
272
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,638
Don't talk to me about love.
273
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:20,670
Love and I are...
274
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,315
(JUMBLED GROANS)
275
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:31,400
Your father said that somewhere
out there is the woman for me,
276
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,511
but where on earth do you start?
277
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:36,871
Oh, don't give up hope, Rog.
278
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,550
The right girl for you could be
a lot nearer than you think.
279
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,037
Dad's in the kitchen.
280
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,152
BEN: I would be happier
if Roger asked Janey to marry him!
281
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,190
- Hello.
- See you at the wedding...
282
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,551
...Dad, Mum. (CHUCKLES)
283
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,955
All right, Craig, listen up. You're going
to have to get your head out of the clouds
284
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,832
and your arse in gear
if you want to win this thing.
285
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,075
Win this thing?!
286
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,269
I mean, make Janey happy.
287
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:19,518
I-I can't tell you how much it means
to me, you helping me out.
288
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,393
It's not always that easy for me
to express what I'm feeling.
289
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:26,593
A man who can't express his feelings?
I don't believe it.
290
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,278
Well, I'm here to help.
291
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:31,119
Now, I know money is tight,
so I've got a ring for you.
292
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,152
Oh, but I already have a ring.
293
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:38,433
It's, um, it's simple, it's modest,
it's elegant...
294
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,278
It's crap.
295
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,154
Here. This is white gold with an antique
amethyst and diamond inlay.
296
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,793
Janey will love it.
297
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,558
Wow! Thanks.
298
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,637
I can't believe you're being so generous.
299
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,433
Well, I'm not. It's Ben's.
It belonged to his grandmother.
300
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,676
She and Benno
must have been pretty close, eh?
301
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,870
No, he won it off her at poker.
302
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:02,359
Now, you want to take Janey out
to a nice place for dinner to propose.
303
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,552
No girl wants to be asked
the most important question of her life
304
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,114
- at Chicken Cottage.
- Right.
305
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,037
Yeah. So what are you thinking?
306
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,276
Nando's?
307
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,914
You know what?
I'll make the reservation for you.
308
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,110
There's a wonderful French restaurant
309
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,515
that Ben takes me to
whenever he screws up.
310
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,471
We eat there a lot.
311
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:26,400
So I guess you'll be wanting to hear
my proposal? It's still a bit rough...
312
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,717
Oh, well, just let me hear it,
and I'll tweak it a bit.
313
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:30,909
Right. OK.
314
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:39,271
Janey, my heart was cold
until your warmth filled it.
315
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:43,075
My world didn't turn
until you walked beside me.
316
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,157
You're the sunlight on my face,
317
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:49,592
the air in my chest
and the beauty in my life.
318
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:53,474
There's no words to convey
all that I feel for you,
319
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:57,753
so I guess "I love you"
will just have to make do.
320
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,911
Will you marry me?
321
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,831
Oh, who am I kidding?
322
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,434
It's all a bit rubbish, isn't it?
323
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,475
It's a start...
324
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,840
It...is...it's...
325
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,231
...it"s definitely a start.
326
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,918
I really appreciate your help here, Ben.
327
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,669
I'm a businessman. I know how to write
a contract, 7of a marriage proposal.
328
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,360
Mark, just relax, OK?
329
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:31,918
When it comes to matters of the heart,
you are talking to the love doctor, OK?
330
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:32,950
Now, what have you got?
331
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,756
Thought I'd just speak from the heart,
tell Janey I had feelings for her.
332
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,552
Even feelings of love.
333
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:44,310
No, no, no, that's se been done.
Come on, what else have you got?
334
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,957
Well, um, I suppose I could tell her
I've been working really hard,
335
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,469
had a fair amount of success,
336
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,591
earn a six-figure sum, got a boat...
337
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,154
- Dinghy?
- Yacht.
338
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,955
...a chateau in France
and a small estate in Argentina
339
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,594
which we're really excited about,
because the winery has had
340
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,349
a great first year and we're exporting
to America and...
341
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,638
Who am I kidding?
342
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,717
Janey's not going to be impressed
by that, is she?
343
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:17,275
It's a start...
It's... definitely a start.
344
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:23,431
(PHONE RINGS)
345
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,234
Yeah?
346
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,112
...Hmm? Chez Maurice?
347
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,717
No, I've not made a reservation.
348
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,073
Oh, my wife did.
349
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,758
Why? What have I done wrong?
350
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,237
What? Oh, for my daughter?
351
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,318
It's for Janey. Ah, right.
352
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,277
Yes, thanks very much
for calling to confirm.
353
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,637
- Who was that on the phone?
- Nobody.
354
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,637
Nobody?
355
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,637
Nobody. Why do you ask?
356
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,115
- No reason.
- Mm-hm?
357
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,719
Why are you acting so strangely?
358
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,479
I'm not acting strangely.
What about you?
359
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,919
You have anything to feel guilty about?
360
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,473
Why should I feel guilty?
361
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,591
You're the one on the phone to nobody.
362
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,835
Was I?
363
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,076
Why are you answering
my questions with questions?
364
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:24,680
-AmI?
- Yes.
365
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,199
- Really?
- Stop it!
366
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,273
I swear, you get weirder by the day.
367
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,276
Do I?
368
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,073
Mark?
369
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:56,112
Thank you, yes, it's me, "Sir", yes.
370
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,869
Mark, listen, meet me tonight at
Chez Maurice, 7.30, Chiswick High Road.
371
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,560
Yeah. Yes, good boy, good boy.
372
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,910
This time tomorrow,
Janey's going to be the new Mrs...
373
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,279
...whatever your name is.
374
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,790
Craig, is everything OK?
375
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,672
Yeah, yeah, why wouldn't it be?
376
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,791
You just seem a little nervous.
377
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,275
What would I have to be nervous about?
378
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,799
I don't know. Maybe...
379
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,513
you wanted to ask me something?
380
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:30,918
Ah, well, actually, er, Janey,
the thing of it is...
381
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,030
Yeah?
382
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,070
I-L, um...
383
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,396
Monsieur, are you ready?
384
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:39,320
Stop rushing me, please! For the love
of God, I'll do it in my own time, OK?!
385
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:42,478
I meant
are you ready to hear tonight's specials?
386
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:46,229
Right, er...
can you give us another few minutes?
387
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:50,797
I will await our next conversation
with great enthusiasm(!)
388
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,195
So, you were saying...
389
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,880
Ah, yeah. Janey, I, um...
390
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,753
Janey, you're the most...
391
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,598
that I've ever and...
392
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,233
and I'm well, you know,
393
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:08,751
for the most part,
and since we're both...you know?
394
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,430
So, yeah, what do you say?
395
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,631
You didn't actually say anything.
396
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,036
Really?! Really? I thought I made
a heap of good points there.
397
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,196
Listen, I'm going to use the ladies',
398
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,437
so why don't you think about
what you want to tell me, huh?
399
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,799
You stay here. I'll get rid of the wombat.
400
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,237
Craig! Oh, thank God, I've found you!
401
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,113
- Ben! What are you doing here?
- It's OK, it's OK, it's, er...
402
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,436
Look, I know we've had
our differences, all right,
403
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,153
and I know how much you mean to Janey,
404
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,998
but I'd hate to see you deported.
405
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,838
- Deported?!
- Ssh! Ssh!
406
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,872
- All right. It's OK!
- What are you talking about?
407
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,514
It's just that immigration
turned up at the house,
408
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,756
apparently a bit of a mix-up
vis-a-vis a visa.
409
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,154
Vis-a-vis a visa?
410
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,079
Yeah, exactly,
and it sounds pretty serious.
411
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,111
But it's all a big mistake.
My papers are all in order.
412
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,230
- Yeah, I know.
- What should I do?
413
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,432
I think you should get over to the house,
go and sort it out, let nothing stop you.
414
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,551
Right!
Oh, will you tell Janey I had to go?
415
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,352
I would be delighted to tell her
you've gone.
416
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,390
Thank you, Ben.
417
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,192
See you later. Good luck! Good luck.
418
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,231
Mark! (WHISPERS) Ssh, ssh, come here!
419
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,079
Make me proud, son.
420
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,437
(SIGHS)
421
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,834
Mark?
422
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,714
What are you doing here?
Is Kenzo OK?
423
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,639
Yeah, don't worry. He's fine. Um...
424
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,909
Where did Craig go?
425
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,997
He had to go sort something out.
426
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,834
Janey, er, it's just...
427
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,519
...I really need to talk to you.
428
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,073
Can you join me?
429
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,872
OK...
430
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,638
The thing is, Janey, um...
431
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:55,150
when two people have known each other
as long as we have,
432
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,717
they develop a certain...
fondness and, um,
433
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,833
one hopes that that fondness can
turn into something other than...
434
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,712
...fondness. A deeper...
435
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,990
fondness, for example.
436
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,713
BEN: Focus!
437
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,149
Right, um...
438
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:17,272
We've been through a lot together, Janey.
439
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,312
We're both parents
to that amazing little man.
440
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,478
And because of that, I thought...we...
441
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,079
Yes?
442
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,236
Can I get you anything, madam?
443
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,238
How about a man who can ask me a question?
444
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,191
(SIGHS)
445
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:36,711
- Craig, what are you doing here?
- Ah, it's a little emergency.
446
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,797
- I'm being deported.
- What?
447
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,910
Yeah, your old man was good enough
448
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,236
to come down the restaurant
and tell me about the immigration guys.
449
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,840
Did he, now? How very thoughtful of him(!)
450
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:45,995
Where are they?
451
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,953
- You're coming with me, Craig.
- But my visa!
452
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:53,437
Trust me, if anyone's leaving the country,
it'll be Ben.
453
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,677
W-what I'm trying to say is,
454
00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,156
you know, not to put too fine a...
If you look at the bigger picture...
455
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,510
You do know this place shuts
at eleven, right?
456
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,432
- Janey...
- Yes?
457
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,118
...you are a wonderful woman. Will you...?
458
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,310
Where is he?
Where is that idiotic husband of mine?
459
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,873
Ah, never mind.
460
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,512
- This one's on you.
- What are you doing?!
461
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,029
Oh, I'm so sorry, I have a drink problem.
462
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,673
What's going on?
463
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,074
What's everyone doing here?
464
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,157
- Mark is about to propose to you.
- What?!
465
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,511
- No, Craig is about to propose to you.
- What?!
466
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,551
Go on, Mark. Do it before Craig,
then his won't count.
467
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,590
Wait a minute, hold on.
468
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:33,675
What the hell are you two doing here?
469
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,189
She secretly invited him for dinner
to get Mark out of the way.
470
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,834
And he threatened Craig with deportation
to get him out of the way.
471
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,110
- Because I don't want her to marry Craig.
- And I don't want her to marry Mark.
472
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,559
Sorry, how about what I want?!
473
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,353
Never mind what you want, it's not
important! Now come on, do your thing.
474
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,471
Um, Janey, you mean everything to me.
475
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,558
Look at the size of that, Janey!
476
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,113
You know what they say
about men with big diamonds.
477
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,639
They're overcompensating.
478
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,034
Size is very important, Susan.
479
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,354
Don't I know it(?!)
480
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,710
I can't believe you two.
You've actually taken sides.
481
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,310
No, we haven't.
Craig, get on with it, do your thing.
482
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:04,397
Janey, I can't live without you.
483
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,752
Janey, he will literally die without you.
Do you want that on your conscience?
484
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,918
- Janey, IL...
- Oh, please, look at the size of this!
485
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,474
That's so small compare...
This is my grandmother's ring!
486
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:15,669
You snooze, you lose.
487
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:19,873
This is a family heirloom, Susan. I'm
going to have to take this off eBay now.
488
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,752
Just shut up, OK! You're all mad!
489
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,757
Come on, do your proposal, do it!
490
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,679
- CRAIG AND MARK: So will you marry me?
- BEN AND SUSAN: ...him?
491
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,711
I can't believe this.
You're both ruining this for me!
492
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,798
I must ask you all to leave, maintenant!
493
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,231
Mesdames et messieurs,
I do apologise for this disturbance.
494
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,270
I can only assure you
495
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,597
the rest of the evening
will be free of this circus freak show.
496
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,358
(MARIACHI BAND PLAYS)
497
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,192
- Janey Harper, will you m...?
- (BAND FALTERS)
498
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,233
Well, um, this is awkward.
499
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,519
I thought this was a Spanish restaurant.
500
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,958
Oh, come on, Janey, let me explain!
501
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,116
- We're so sorry, darling.
- What the hell is wrong with you two?
502
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,516
I am a grown woman. I don't need you
deciding who I should spend my life with.
503
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,790
You hear her, Ben?
It's not for you to decide.
504
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,194
- You too, Mum.
- Oh.
505
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,356
I mean, what makes you think
you can run my life better than I do?
506
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,595
It's a gift.
507
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,234
And what the hell were you two thinking,
taking advice on marriage
508
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,157
from my parents, of all people?!
I mean, look at them!
509
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,396
Yeah, look... Steady on, Janey!
510
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,590
This was a big moment in my life
and you two mucked it up beyond repair.
511
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,836
I mean,
how much worse could this night get?
512
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,872
(MARIACHI BAND PLAYS)
513
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,471
Janey Harper, will you marry me?
514
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,516
(BAND FALTERS)
515
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,198
So, Janey, what's the decision?
516
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,073
Look, Mark, you're a good friend
and a great dad to Kenzo,
517
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:55,952
but I don't want to marry you.
518
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,116
And Craig,
I don't want to marry you either.
519
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,878
- And Roger...
- She's reconsidered.
520
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,672
...we've never talked
for more than ten minutes,
521
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,518
and you're dressed
like a Spanish bandit.
522
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,756
So everyone just leave me alone, OK?
523
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,873
(DOOR SLAMS)
524
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,470
...I didn't hear a no.
525
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,517
(SIGHS)
526
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,516
- Craig, I just need a minute.
- Please, Janey, hear me out.
527
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,632
I just need to ask you something.
528
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:30,909
Craig, don't...
529
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,314
Janey, please,
530
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:35,193
I want to speak for myself for once.
531
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,356
I have to ask you
a very important question.
532
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,553
Will you date me?
533
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,839
What?
534
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:48,239
Janey, I love you and I do want
to marry you, but not right now.
535
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,317
You know, there's plenty of time for that.
536
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:54,193
I just want to keep things
the way they are.
537
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:59,679
So will you do me the honour
of messing about down the pub,
538
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,712
having a laugh and being my girl?
539
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,637
Twill
540
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,799
(GIGGLES)
541
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,719
All right, shall we go out there
and tell them we've sorted things out?
542
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,036
Oh, Craig, you still have
so much to learn. Come on!
543
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,832
- Pub?
- Yes.
544
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,996
(DOOR OPENS AND SLAMS)
545
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,073
I guess we've learnt
an important lesson.
546
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:27,077
Couldn't agree with you more.
547
00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:29,191
Which lesson's that?
548
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,834
We shouldn't interfere
in other people's love lives.
549
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,156
I don't know, I don't know.
With all our experience
550
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,556
at dealing with matters of the heart,
I think we could really help someone.
551
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,030
Mind you, some people
are really beyond help.
42334
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.