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[Partridge family theme playing]
2
00:00:09,780 --> 00:00:13,979
♪ come on now and
meet everybody ♪
3
00:00:13,987 --> 00:00:17,917
♪ and hear us singing ♪
4
00:00:17,927 --> 00:00:22,357
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
5
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:25,107
♪ when we're singing ♪
6
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,007
♪ the five of us ♪
7
00:00:28,011 --> 00:00:29,671
♪ and mom working all day ♪
8
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,913
♪ we knew we could help
her if our music would pay ♪
9
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,919
♪ Danny got Reuben
to sell our song ♪
10
00:00:35,925 --> 00:00:39,624
♪ and it really came together
when mom sang along ♪
11
00:00:39,631 --> 00:00:43,891
♪ come on now and
meet everybody ♪
12
00:00:43,904 --> 00:00:46,374
♪ and hear us singing ♪
13
00:00:47,711 --> 00:00:52,210
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
14
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:55,452
♪ when we're singing ♪
15
00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:58,857
♪ when we're singing ♪
16
00:00:58,864 --> 00:01:02,464
♪ when we're singing ♪♪
17
00:01:05,541 --> 00:01:06,707
Logan.
18
00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,909
Are you or are you
not a concert promoter?
19
00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:11,246
I am.
20
00:01:11,251 --> 00:01:13,150
The hippest in the business,
21
00:01:13,155 --> 00:01:14,754
according to some,
22
00:01:14,757 --> 00:01:16,523
those who know me best.
23
00:01:16,527 --> 00:01:18,026
And did you or did you not
24
00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:20,896
offer the partridge
family a tour of Europe?
25
00:01:20,902 --> 00:01:24,332
Right on. Tell
it like it is, baby.
26
00:01:24,341 --> 00:01:26,907
It's like this.
27
00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,042
Let's work out the contract.
28
00:01:29,049 --> 00:01:32,648
Now, how much are you
offering for expenses?
29
00:01:32,655 --> 00:01:33,935
[Snaps finger]
Whatever you want.
30
00:01:34,491 --> 00:01:36,724
Hey, baby, it's just bread.
31
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:39,889
I mean, as a human being,
I offer you all that I have.
32
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,399
Well, $1000 a week should do it.
33
00:01:42,405 --> 00:01:43,871
But as a promoter,
34
00:01:43,874 --> 00:01:46,040
I can only spare $150.
35
00:01:46,045 --> 00:01:47,275
That's ridiculous!
36
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,646
It's not enough for food.
37
00:01:48,649 --> 00:01:49,649
[Knocking] Fast, man.
38
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:51,653
Hi.
39
00:01:51,656 --> 00:01:52,686
Hi, Shirley.
40
00:01:52,689 --> 00:01:53,489
All right.
41
00:01:53,492 --> 00:01:54,990
We're almost finished.
42
00:01:54,993 --> 00:01:57,192
This is Logan mays.
43
00:01:57,197 --> 00:01:58,827
Oh. How do you do, Mr. Mays?
44
00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:01,132
I'm pleased to meet you.
45
00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:02,470
Can you dig it?
46
00:02:02,473 --> 00:02:04,103
It's what's happening,
47
00:02:04,109 --> 00:02:05,375
the handshake of the hip.
48
00:02:05,378 --> 00:02:07,977
Looks like a thumb
wrestling contest.
49
00:02:07,983 --> 00:02:11,682
My children are so excited
about the European tour.
50
00:02:11,689 --> 00:02:13,449
They've been
packing for two weeks.
51
00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:15,857
I must say, I'm
rather excited myself.
52
00:02:15,862 --> 00:02:17,861
We've been rehearsing
some new songs...
53
00:02:17,866 --> 00:02:19,299
Oh, Reuben, Reuben.
54
00:02:19,302 --> 00:02:21,262
Haven't you told Shirley?
55
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:23,204
Told her what?
56
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:26,008
About the tour, man.
57
00:02:26,014 --> 00:02:27,413
European kids don't dig adults
58
00:02:27,416 --> 00:02:29,276
messing around on their thing.
59
00:02:29,285 --> 00:02:30,784
I mean, who's gonna buy a band
60
00:02:30,788 --> 00:02:34,121
being led by a middle-aged lady?
61
00:02:34,127 --> 00:02:35,457
I beg your pardon?
62
00:02:35,463 --> 00:02:36,893
Are you saying
63
00:02:36,898 --> 00:02:38,964
you don't want Shirley
to sing on the tour?
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00:02:38,969 --> 00:02:40,568
It's in the contract.
65
00:02:40,571 --> 00:02:42,501
Oh, no offense, sweetness,
66
00:02:42,508 --> 00:02:43,941
but I know what my people dig,
67
00:02:43,944 --> 00:02:45,474
because I'm one
of them, you know?
68
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:46,610
You're at...
69
00:02:46,615 --> 00:02:48,914
At least as old as I am!
70
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,552
Older, physically,
71
00:02:50,556 --> 00:02:53,916
but in my head, I am 18. Ooh!
72
00:02:53,927 --> 00:02:56,793
You come back
when you're of age.
73
00:02:56,799 --> 00:02:58,229
In the meantime,
74
00:02:58,235 --> 00:02:59,668
give this contract
to your father,
75
00:02:59,671 --> 00:03:02,371
and tell him the deal is off!
76
00:03:09,254 --> 00:03:11,424
[♪♪♪]
77
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:23,036
But if it looks like a boot,
why don't they call it boot?
78
00:03:23,044 --> 00:03:24,743
Why do they call it Italy?
79
00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:26,577
Why do they call Turkey Turkey?
80
00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:28,182
It doesn't look
anything like a Turkey.
81
00:03:28,186 --> 00:03:29,319
And you don't look
82
00:03:29,322 --> 00:03:31,252
anything like a partridge.
83
00:03:31,258 --> 00:03:32,524
Oh, Europe.
84
00:03:32,528 --> 00:03:34,127
I can hardly
believe we're going.
85
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:35,390
It's almost like a dream.
86
00:03:35,399 --> 00:03:37,232
It is? Uh-huh.
87
00:03:37,236 --> 00:03:38,966
I don't wanna go. Why not?
88
00:03:38,972 --> 00:03:41,572
Because I dream of monsters.
89
00:03:44,013 --> 00:03:45,746
The gall of that man.
90
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,480
He shakes your
thumb with one hand
91
00:03:47,486 --> 00:03:48,952
and goes for your
throat with the other.
92
00:03:48,956 --> 00:03:50,486
Those kids were
really looking forward
93
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:51,657
to this trip.
94
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:54,520
Tracy wanted to
meet hansel and gretel.
95
00:03:54,531 --> 00:03:57,864
Danny wanted to see
where the kaiser lived.
96
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,101
Kaiser?
97
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:02,236
Reuben, I don't know
what I'm gonna tell them.
98
00:04:02,245 --> 00:04:05,211
You know, maybe Logan's right.
99
00:04:05,217 --> 00:04:07,647
Maybe I am holding them back.
100
00:04:07,654 --> 00:04:09,953
Shirley, now, that is
absolute nonsense.
101
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,191
No, I mean it.
102
00:04:11,194 --> 00:04:12,954
What's a woman my age
103
00:04:12,963 --> 00:04:14,462
doing singing with
a bunch of kids
104
00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:16,165
that are old enough to be...
105
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:18,067
Well, my kids.
106
00:04:18,072 --> 00:04:20,438
Yeah, you know,
107
00:04:20,443 --> 00:04:21,842
I know why you're
talking this way.
108
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,511
You just want the
kids to see Europe,
109
00:04:23,515 --> 00:04:25,614
so you're gonna
make sure they go.
110
00:04:25,619 --> 00:04:27,118
Well, I don't think
they're gonna want to
111
00:04:27,121 --> 00:04:28,651
when they find
out the conditions.
112
00:04:28,657 --> 00:04:32,356
That's why we're
not going to tell them.
113
00:04:32,363 --> 00:04:33,693
We have to tell them something.
114
00:04:33,699 --> 00:04:35,832
I mean, they're gonna
be a little suspicious
115
00:04:35,836 --> 00:04:37,866
if you just stop hanging around.
116
00:04:37,873 --> 00:04:39,503
You get those contracts back,
117
00:04:39,508 --> 00:04:40,707
and I'll sign them.
118
00:04:40,711 --> 00:04:42,910
We'll tell them
tonight at the party.
119
00:04:42,914 --> 00:04:44,513
Party?
120
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:47,217
My retirement party.
121
00:04:50,895 --> 00:04:52,961
Chris: It is too hair.
122
00:04:52,966 --> 00:04:54,065
It's a hat.
123
00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:56,597
The guards at Buckingham
Palace wear hats.
124
00:04:56,605 --> 00:04:59,535
Nobody's gonna hire
guys with hair like that
125
00:04:59,543 --> 00:05:01,109
to protect the queen.
126
00:05:01,113 --> 00:05:02,812
That makes sense.
127
00:05:02,815 --> 00:05:04,881
Boys, no reading at the table.
128
00:05:04,886 --> 00:05:06,046
Mm.
129
00:05:06,054 --> 00:05:08,820
Braised artichokes,
creamed mushrooms, squab.
130
00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:11,325
What happened?
The freezer break?
131
00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:14,829
I decided to make something
extra special for you tonight
132
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:17,435
since I have something
important to say.
133
00:05:17,441 --> 00:05:18,940
What's that?
134
00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:20,942
I've told you the contracts
for the European tour
135
00:05:20,947 --> 00:05:22,613
have been signed. Yay!
136
00:05:22,616 --> 00:05:24,346
Keith: That's great.
I will be going.
137
00:05:24,352 --> 00:05:26,951
I mean, we'll be together,
138
00:05:26,957 --> 00:05:28,656
but I won't be singing with you.
139
00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:29,790
What do you mean?
140
00:05:29,795 --> 00:05:31,394
Mom, what are you saying?
141
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,997
I decided to go into retirement.
142
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,133
I want to be a
normal mother again.
143
00:05:35,138 --> 00:05:37,638
But we like having
an abnormal mother.
144
00:05:39,011 --> 00:05:40,544
I'm tired of show business.
145
00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:41,877
I want to relax a little.
146
00:05:41,882 --> 00:05:44,212
I want to have
a little more of...
147
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,618
Well, this.
148
00:05:45,622 --> 00:05:48,021
What's so thrilling
about a dead bird?
149
00:05:48,026 --> 00:05:49,296
Danny...
150
00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:12,532
Yesterday morning
151
00:06:12,535 --> 00:06:14,665
she was really excited
about going to Europe,
152
00:06:14,672 --> 00:06:16,171
and last night she retires.
153
00:06:16,174 --> 00:06:17,707
It just doesn't make sense.
154
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:18,841
It sure doesn't.
155
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,545
She should have
at least given you
156
00:06:20,549 --> 00:06:21,779
a two-week notice.
157
00:06:21,784 --> 00:06:23,483
Well, here it is, my
favorite restaurant.
158
00:06:23,487 --> 00:06:24,553
Reuben, what happened?
159
00:06:24,556 --> 00:06:26,255
Hey, they got the window fixed.
160
00:06:26,259 --> 00:06:27,589
Well, I hope the place
161
00:06:27,594 --> 00:06:30,134
isn't under new management.
162
00:06:34,272 --> 00:06:35,402
Hi there.
163
00:06:35,407 --> 00:06:36,806
Is, uh, my table ready?
164
00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:38,343
Your what?
165
00:06:38,346 --> 00:06:41,076
Don't bother seating us.
166
00:06:41,084 --> 00:06:44,150
She must be new here.
167
00:06:44,156 --> 00:06:45,256
Thank you.
168
00:06:48,597 --> 00:06:50,127
Okay.
169
00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:51,866
Order anything
on the menu, kids.
170
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,569
My treat.
171
00:06:53,572 --> 00:06:56,602
We want to know how come
mom's suddenly leaving the group.
172
00:06:56,611 --> 00:06:58,541
That's not on the menu.
173
00:06:58,547 --> 00:07:00,746
Reuben, if you know
something we don't,
174
00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:02,284
you may as well tell us,
175
00:07:02,287 --> 00:07:04,786
because we're not going
on that tour without her.
176
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,791
Look, I'm sure your mother
177
00:07:06,795 --> 00:07:08,794
didn't make her
decision lightly.
178
00:07:08,799 --> 00:07:10,798
The important thing now
179
00:07:10,802 --> 00:07:12,801
is for all of us to
get behind her...
180
00:07:12,805 --> 00:07:13,965
[Telephone ringing]
181
00:07:13,973 --> 00:07:15,839
Help her to explore
182
00:07:15,844 --> 00:07:17,843
the rich challenge
of domestic life.
183
00:07:17,847 --> 00:07:19,013
Oh, we may not understand
184
00:07:19,016 --> 00:07:21,846
this new life she's chosen,
185
00:07:21,854 --> 00:07:23,120
but we can pretend we do.
186
00:07:23,123 --> 00:07:24,653
Reuben, please, I
feel like standing up
187
00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:25,858
and saluting
188
00:07:25,861 --> 00:07:26,891
a piece of apple pie.
189
00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:28,195
Out of apple.
190
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,497
Uh, is there
anyone at this table
191
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:31,499
who is an uptight,
middle-aged man,
192
00:07:31,504 --> 00:07:33,737
who's unable to relate
openly and directly
193
00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:35,440
to other human beings?
194
00:07:35,444 --> 00:07:36,543
Why?
195
00:07:36,546 --> 00:07:38,245
Well, there's a
phone call for him.
196
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:40,379
A guy wants to talk
to a Reuben Kincaid
197
00:07:40,386 --> 00:07:41,885
or something.
198
00:07:41,888 --> 00:07:44,187
A call? For me? Right.
199
00:07:44,192 --> 00:07:46,458
Well, would you mind
bringing the phone to our table,
200
00:07:46,463 --> 00:07:47,463
please?
201
00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:48,996
No, I don't mind.
202
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:51,700
Would you mind helping
me tear it off the wall?
203
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:54,175
I'll be right back.
204
00:07:58,183 --> 00:07:59,343
Yes?
205
00:07:59,351 --> 00:08:00,884
Oh, Logan.
206
00:08:00,888 --> 00:08:02,887
Sure they're going.
207
00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:05,021
We have a contract, don't we?
208
00:08:05,028 --> 00:08:07,427
Yes, yes, the conditions
have been met.
209
00:08:07,432 --> 00:08:09,298
I can't talk now.
210
00:08:09,302 --> 00:08:12,162
I can't tell you why
I can't talk now.
211
00:08:12,173 --> 00:08:13,872
Because I can't talk now.
212
00:08:13,876 --> 00:08:15,409
Kids, where are you going?
213
00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:17,373
Sorry, we can't talk now.
214
00:08:17,382 --> 00:08:18,881
Yeah...
215
00:08:18,885 --> 00:08:20,684
[Film camera whirring]
216
00:08:20,688 --> 00:08:22,287
Underground film?
217
00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:24,924
Hey, that's where
it's all at, baby,
218
00:08:24,929 --> 00:08:27,128
and I'm moving in.
219
00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:30,063
Small budgets, dedicated crews,
220
00:08:30,071 --> 00:08:31,337
real people,
221
00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:34,070
not actors, but people like...
222
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,808
Well, like me.
223
00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,547
Move in here for
a close-up, kid.
224
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,781
Logan mays,
225
00:08:39,788 --> 00:08:43,418
the guy Bob Dylan calls...
226
00:08:43,427 --> 00:08:45,260
Beautiful.
227
00:08:45,264 --> 00:08:47,163
Mr. Mays... Call me Logan, man.
228
00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:49,297
We are on the same
side of the barricade.
229
00:08:49,304 --> 00:08:51,103
Look, do you have any idea
230
00:08:51,107 --> 00:08:53,973
why mom suddenly
dropped out of the group?
231
00:08:53,979 --> 00:08:56,478
Hey, I like that.
Direct, human, sincere.
232
00:08:56,483 --> 00:08:57,643
Did you get that?
233
00:08:57,651 --> 00:08:59,184
Beautiful.
234
00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:00,587
When the tour is over,
235
00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:02,620
you may have a
place in my movie.
236
00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:05,526
We're not going on any
tour, not without mom.
237
00:09:05,532 --> 00:09:07,398
Did you have something
to do with mom quitting?
238
00:09:07,402 --> 00:09:09,401
Look, what has she
ever done for you?
239
00:09:09,405 --> 00:09:11,835
Buy her a library card.
She'll forget all about you.
240
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,242
Believe me,
241
00:09:13,245 --> 00:09:14,744
I am doing you a favor.
242
00:09:14,748 --> 00:09:16,914
So you did have something
to do with her quitting.
243
00:09:16,918 --> 00:09:18,978
Look, kid, I know the market.
244
00:09:18,988 --> 00:09:22,354
It is bearish for
performers over 30.
245
00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:25,391
Well, the partridge family is
bullish on staying together,
246
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,732
you... You home wrecker.
247
00:09:27,737 --> 00:09:29,397
Home wrecker?
248
00:09:29,406 --> 00:09:30,972
Hey, I like the ring of that.
249
00:09:30,975 --> 00:09:32,505
Home wrecker.
250
00:09:32,511 --> 00:09:33,511
Well, forget it...
251
00:09:33,514 --> 00:09:35,512
Because the partridge family
252
00:09:35,516 --> 00:09:38,115
wouldn't do a tour
of Disneyland for you.
253
00:09:38,121 --> 00:09:39,754
But you're forgetting something.
254
00:09:39,758 --> 00:09:42,157
Shirley signed the contracts.
255
00:09:42,162 --> 00:09:44,092
Contracts can be broken.
256
00:09:44,098 --> 00:09:46,028
Yeah, well, you break this one,
257
00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:47,333
and you'll find
258
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,203
that the partridge
family's gonna end up
259
00:09:49,207 --> 00:09:50,906
like sky and the four clouds.
260
00:09:50,910 --> 00:09:53,809
Who are they? Right on.
261
00:09:53,815 --> 00:09:55,445
Hey, business is business,
262
00:09:55,450 --> 00:09:57,483
but can't we be friends, huh?
263
00:09:57,488 --> 00:09:59,287
Hey, you getting all this?
264
00:09:59,291 --> 00:10:01,321
Because this is heavy stuff.
265
00:10:01,328 --> 00:10:04,558
I am showing these kids
my innermost feelings.
266
00:10:04,566 --> 00:10:07,666
You have no innermost feelings.
267
00:10:26,804 --> 00:10:28,570
She's home. All right.
268
00:10:28,574 --> 00:10:29,773
Now, remember,
269
00:10:29,776 --> 00:10:31,775
we have to convince mom
how much we need her,
270
00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:34,679
so let's do it wrong
and get it right, okay?
271
00:10:34,685 --> 00:10:35,715
Okay.
272
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,386
We're gonna pick it
up from the chorus.
273
00:10:37,389 --> 00:10:39,219
[Sloppy, out of tune]
♪ baby, I love ♪
274
00:10:39,226 --> 00:10:42,259
♪ baby, I love you
baby, I love you ♪
275
00:10:42,265 --> 00:10:44,295
♪ baby, I love
love, love, love ♪
276
00:10:44,301 --> 00:10:45,731
♪ I love you ♪
277
00:10:45,737 --> 00:10:51,536
♪ baby, I love you
baby, I love you ♪
278
00:10:51,547 --> 00:10:53,413
♪ baby, I love
love, love, love ♪
279
00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:55,216
♪ I love you ♪
all right, hold it, hold it.
280
00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:56,686
Danny, you lost the tempo.
281
00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:59,249
I just can't keep
time without mom.
282
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:01,093
Laurie, you're supposed
to come in when...
283
00:11:01,097 --> 00:11:02,296
Hi, kids.
284
00:11:02,299 --> 00:11:03,459
Oh, hi, mom.
285
00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:05,033
Oh, mom. Oh, hi, mom.
286
00:11:05,037 --> 00:11:06,167
That sounded pretty awful.
287
00:11:06,172 --> 00:11:07,405
What's wrong?
288
00:11:07,408 --> 00:11:09,407
Oh, uh, nothing, really.
289
00:11:09,411 --> 00:11:11,471
I heard your singing,
and I must say,
290
00:11:11,481 --> 00:11:13,580
it was a bit, um... Sloppy.
291
00:11:13,584 --> 00:11:15,583
Oh, mom, you've got enough
to do with your housework.
292
00:11:15,588 --> 00:11:17,787
We can work this out ourselves.
293
00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:18,958
Yeah.
294
00:11:18,961 --> 00:11:21,527
Mom, we just can't
make it without you.
295
00:11:21,532 --> 00:11:23,862
Well, I don't think you've
been trying, have you?
296
00:11:23,869 --> 00:11:25,435
We are trying,
297
00:11:25,439 --> 00:11:27,099
but it's not working.
298
00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:29,207
We've lost our sex appeal.
299
00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:33,277
Danny, you don't even
know what that is...
300
00:11:33,285 --> 00:11:34,915
Or do you?
301
00:11:34,921 --> 00:11:36,387
Not me, mom.
302
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,821
I just know it's
something you've got.
303
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:39,861
She doesn't.
304
00:11:39,864 --> 00:11:41,163
Sex, sex, sex.
305
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,566
That's all you ever think about.
306
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,371
It was a nice try, kids,
307
00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:47,574
but it won't work.
308
00:11:47,577 --> 00:11:49,707
I'm not coming
out of retirement.
309
00:11:49,713 --> 00:11:50,779
Mom, we know.
310
00:11:50,782 --> 00:11:53,281
We went to see Logan mays.
311
00:11:53,287 --> 00:11:56,117
I thought so.
312
00:11:56,124 --> 00:11:57,654
All right, so you know,
313
00:11:57,660 --> 00:12:00,026
but Logan mays didn't
force me into retirement.
314
00:12:00,031 --> 00:12:01,697
This was my own decision.
315
00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:04,331
He just got me to thinking
that maybe you kids
316
00:12:04,339 --> 00:12:06,338
ought to see what you
can do on your own.
317
00:12:06,342 --> 00:12:08,408
Mom, you're not holding us back.
318
00:12:08,413 --> 00:12:10,373
Did Laurel hold back Hardy?
319
00:12:10,382 --> 00:12:12,248
Did abbott hold back costello?
320
00:12:12,252 --> 00:12:15,322
Did Charlie hold back chaplin?
321
00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:18,759
Danny, I think you've
helped enough already.
322
00:12:21,401 --> 00:12:23,271
My mind's made up.
323
00:12:25,007 --> 00:12:26,140
Anybody need anything
324
00:12:26,143 --> 00:12:27,203
from the supermarket?
325
00:12:27,211 --> 00:12:28,244
Yeah.
326
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,077
What?
327
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,983
A lead singer.
328
00:12:43,939 --> 00:12:45,605
We are ready.
329
00:12:45,609 --> 00:12:48,175
We've been practicing the
new arrangements all week.
330
00:12:48,181 --> 00:12:49,580
A week?
331
00:12:49,583 --> 00:12:51,143
Well, that's not much time.
332
00:12:51,152 --> 00:12:54,318
But, Reuben, we need some
feedback from a live audience.
333
00:12:54,324 --> 00:12:56,854
Bouncing our tunes
off the walls of a garage
334
00:12:56,862 --> 00:12:58,728
isn't enough.
335
00:12:58,732 --> 00:13:00,431
Just a one-nighter
in a small club.
336
00:13:00,435 --> 00:13:02,434
Say, the ark.
337
00:13:02,438 --> 00:13:04,168
And it would give
Logan mays a chance
338
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,507
to see the new
act he's promoting.
339
00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:08,140
Well, I guess I
could arrange it.
340
00:13:08,148 --> 00:13:09,878
Well, what does your mom say?
341
00:13:10,886 --> 00:13:13,152
Well, lately, all mom says is,
342
00:13:13,157 --> 00:13:14,887
"coffee, tea, or milk?"
343
00:13:21,471 --> 00:13:23,170
How do we look, mom?
344
00:13:23,174 --> 00:13:24,540
Lovely. Just lovely.
345
00:13:24,543 --> 00:13:26,303
Well, I guess we'd
better get going.
346
00:13:26,312 --> 00:13:27,445
Yeah, we're gonna be late.
347
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:28,448
I'll get my coat. No!
348
00:13:29,452 --> 00:13:30,412
You can't go, mom.
349
00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:32,352
I can't?
350
00:13:32,356 --> 00:13:34,286
No. Uh-uh.
351
00:13:34,293 --> 00:13:35,523
Why not?
352
00:13:35,528 --> 00:13:36,528
Tell her why not, Laurie.
353
00:13:36,531 --> 00:13:38,396
Uh, because...
354
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,199
Well, since you've
left the group,
355
00:13:40,203 --> 00:13:42,433
we've got to learn how
to do things by ourselves.
356
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:43,639
Right.
357
00:13:43,642 --> 00:13:45,908
Well, maybe
they're right, Shirley.
358
00:13:45,913 --> 00:13:48,243
Your being there
might distract them.
359
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:50,049
Well, I hadn't thought of that.
360
00:13:50,053 --> 00:13:52,993
I certainly wouldn't want
to make you nervous.
361
00:13:54,861 --> 00:13:56,561
Uh-uh.
362
00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:59,563
I guess you'd better
get going. Bye, mom.
363
00:13:59,569 --> 00:14:00,902
Bye. Bye-bye, mom.
364
00:14:00,905 --> 00:14:01,905
Good luck. Bye, mom.
365
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,109
Goodbye, honey.
366
00:14:06,481 --> 00:14:07,514
I'll take care of them.
367
00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:08,677
Don't worry about anything.
368
00:14:08,685 --> 00:14:10,118
Reuben, you know I don't worry.
369
00:14:10,121 --> 00:14:11,151
Sure.
370
00:14:11,156 --> 00:14:12,156
Bye. Bye. Uh, Reuben?
371
00:14:13,159 --> 00:14:14,289
Yeah?
372
00:14:14,294 --> 00:14:15,560
Um, look,
373
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,330
make sure Tracy
isn't chewing gum
374
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,864
before she goes on. Okay.
375
00:14:18,869 --> 00:14:21,135
And, um... see that
Chris and Danny
376
00:14:21,140 --> 00:14:23,039
don't get the knees
of their pants dirty.
377
00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:24,103
That always happens.
378
00:14:24,111 --> 00:14:26,210
And make sure that
Keith has his guitar pick.
379
00:14:26,215 --> 00:14:27,981
I'll make sure.
380
00:14:27,985 --> 00:14:30,915
I'm glad you're not
worried about anything.
381
00:14:30,923 --> 00:14:33,989
Actually, it all
happened for the best.
382
00:14:33,995 --> 00:14:37,161
Uh, I have lots to
do while they're gone.
383
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,698
Oh? Like what?
384
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,633
Well, like...
385
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,539
Get going.
386
00:14:42,543 --> 00:14:45,113
Bye. Bye.
387
00:14:48,086 --> 00:14:50,616
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a special treat.
388
00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:52,154
As a surprise added attraction,
389
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,125
here to sing a
brand-new arrangement
390
00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:55,160
of their big hit,
391
00:14:55,165 --> 00:14:56,931
"baby, I love,
love, I love you"...
392
00:14:56,935 --> 00:14:59,835
The partridge family!
393
00:15:10,725 --> 00:15:13,185
[Sloppily playing "Baby,
I love, love, I love you"]
394
00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:15,794
[Off-key] ♪ isn't it
time time you tell me ♪
395
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,499
♪ am I losing my touch? ♪
396
00:15:18,505 --> 00:15:22,971
♪ I've heard you call me,
girl it's more than enough ♪
397
00:15:22,979 --> 00:15:27,309
♪ you were so good to me,
girl I needed you to go on ♪
398
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,686
♪ we had ourselves
a good thing ♪
399
00:15:29,691 --> 00:15:31,857
♪ is it over and done? ♪
400
00:15:31,861 --> 00:15:34,991
♪ I need some time to think ♪
401
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,630
♪ to get myself together again ♪
402
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,102
♪ time to think ♪
403
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:41,535
♪ I got to get on
my feet again ♪
404
00:15:41,544 --> 00:15:43,010
♪ the woman I used to love ♪
405
00:15:43,014 --> 00:15:44,813
♪ ain't the woman I see today ♪
406
00:15:44,817 --> 00:15:48,147
♪ the woman I see today... ♪♪
407
00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:51,492
hi.
408
00:15:51,495 --> 00:15:54,155
Ah. Halt. Achtung.
409
00:15:54,166 --> 00:15:55,632
Some hippie.
410
00:15:55,635 --> 00:15:57,801
I bet he has relatives
living in Argentina.
411
00:15:57,806 --> 00:16:00,036
I think the expression is,
412
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,909
nobody likes a wiseacre.
413
00:16:02,915 --> 00:16:04,975
What's a wiseacre?
414
00:16:04,984 --> 00:16:06,183
It's an expression
415
00:16:06,186 --> 00:16:08,285
middle-aged 18-year-olds use.
416
00:16:08,290 --> 00:16:10,856
Don't put me on.
417
00:16:10,861 --> 00:16:12,560
Now, I know you
messed up on purpose,
418
00:16:12,564 --> 00:16:13,963
and I know why.
419
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:15,666
You didn't like the act, huh?
420
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:16,836
Keep it up, kid,
421
00:16:16,839 --> 00:16:18,738
and your nose will grow long.
422
00:16:18,742 --> 00:16:22,472
Now, I don't like
people trying to con me,
423
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:25,347
so I suggest you kids
put it together fast,
424
00:16:25,353 --> 00:16:28,713
or I sue for breach of contract.
425
00:16:32,265 --> 00:16:35,725
How's that for bridging
the communications gap?
426
00:16:45,989 --> 00:16:48,189
[Doorbell chimes]
427
00:16:55,605 --> 00:16:57,104
Hi. How'd it go?
428
00:16:57,108 --> 00:16:58,907
They loved our outfits.
429
00:16:58,911 --> 00:17:00,241
Oh, kids...
430
00:17:00,246 --> 00:17:02,112
Actually, we got
a lot of laughs.
431
00:17:02,116 --> 00:17:04,976
None of them from Logan mays.
432
00:17:04,987 --> 00:17:06,386
Oh, I'm sorry.
433
00:17:06,390 --> 00:17:08,389
It's probably just a
matter of practice.
434
00:17:08,393 --> 00:17:10,592
You just need a few
more weeks' rehearsal.
435
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,163
It's no fun without you, mom.
436
00:17:13,168 --> 00:17:16,067
We don't want to go on the
tour if it means splitting up.
437
00:17:16,073 --> 00:17:18,303
But it doesn't.
I'll be with you.
438
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,943
I just won't be singing
with you, that's all.
439
00:17:20,949 --> 00:17:22,248
Don't all moms
sing with their kids?
440
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:24,850
Not that many families
are as lucky as we are.
441
00:17:24,855 --> 00:17:26,785
Were.
442
00:17:27,961 --> 00:17:29,691
Look, there's no
sense talking about it.
443
00:17:29,697 --> 00:17:31,927
You may never have another
chance to go to Europe,
444
00:17:31,933 --> 00:17:33,866
and I'm not gonna
let you miss it.
445
00:17:33,871 --> 00:17:35,470
You know,
446
00:17:35,474 --> 00:17:37,004
there's no sense
talking about it, mom,
447
00:17:37,009 --> 00:17:38,875
because I'm not
working for Logan mays.
448
00:17:38,879 --> 00:17:40,209
I quit.
449
00:17:40,215 --> 00:17:41,115
Keith.
450
00:17:41,117 --> 00:17:42,515
Keith's right. I quit.
451
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:43,519
I quit too. Me too.
452
00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:49,126
Danny?
453
00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:51,300
I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
454
00:18:05,892 --> 00:18:07,891
Well, I must say,
455
00:18:07,895 --> 00:18:10,028
I've never seen
456
00:18:10,033 --> 00:18:11,493
five more unhappy faces.
457
00:18:11,501 --> 00:18:13,700
Six, if we include yours, mom.
458
00:18:13,705 --> 00:18:15,138
Me?
459
00:18:15,142 --> 00:18:16,672
Oh, I never felt better.
460
00:18:16,677 --> 00:18:19,707
Especially since I'm
coming out of retirement
461
00:18:19,715 --> 00:18:20,715
and all that. What? What?
462
00:18:21,586 --> 00:18:22,616
You're kidding.
463
00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:24,119
Well, if you kids
are crazy enough
464
00:18:24,123 --> 00:18:25,556
to prefer my voice
to my cooking,
465
00:18:25,559 --> 00:18:27,558
I suppose I'll have
to go along with it.
466
00:18:27,563 --> 00:18:30,162
That's great. Then you're
gonna sing with us on the tour.
467
00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:32,127
No, Keith. After the tour.
468
00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:33,936
No, mom, we need you now.
469
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:35,306
Listen, whether
you like it or not,
470
00:18:35,309 --> 00:18:37,108
we made a bargain
with Logan mays,
471
00:18:37,112 --> 00:18:38,442
and we have to keep it,
472
00:18:38,448 --> 00:18:39,947
but after we come home,
473
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:42,216
well, you won't be
able to get rid of me,
474
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:43,720
even if you wanted to.
475
00:18:43,724 --> 00:18:45,490
Welcome back, mom. Thank you.
476
00:18:45,494 --> 00:18:47,124
Great to have you
with us again, mom.
477
00:18:47,129 --> 00:18:48,695
I love you, mama.
478
00:18:48,699 --> 00:18:50,129
Thank you, sweetheart.
479
00:18:50,135 --> 00:18:51,765
Yeah, but do
we still get to split
480
00:18:51,770 --> 00:18:53,136
your percentage in Europe?
481
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:55,540
Laurie: Danny!
482
00:18:58,048 --> 00:18:59,647
["when we're singing" Plays]
483
00:18:59,651 --> 00:19:04,781
♪ come on now and meet
everybody and hear us singing ♪
484
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:08,992
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
485
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,299
♪ when we're singing ♪
486
00:19:11,304 --> 00:19:17,603
♪ come on now and meet
everybody and hear us singing ♪
487
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:21,981
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
488
00:19:21,989 --> 00:19:24,088
♪ when we're singing ♪♪
489
00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:26,763
[applause]
490
00:19:34,177 --> 00:19:35,676
Crowd: Shirley! Shirley!
491
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,879
Shirley! Shirley!
492
00:19:37,883 --> 00:19:39,743
Nous voulons Shirley!
493
00:19:39,753 --> 00:19:41,019
Nous voulons Shirley!
494
00:19:41,022 --> 00:19:42,352
Shirley!
495
00:19:42,357 --> 00:19:43,257
Shirley!
496
00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:44,725
What does that mean?
497
00:19:44,728 --> 00:19:46,694
They want mom.
498
00:19:46,699 --> 00:19:47,798
Shirley! Shirley!
499
00:19:47,801 --> 00:19:49,600
Hey, you must
have a lot of relatives
500
00:19:49,604 --> 00:19:50,803
here in Paris.
501
00:19:50,806 --> 00:19:53,166
Yeah, they must be relatives.
502
00:19:53,176 --> 00:19:54,642
She's too old to have fans.
503
00:19:54,645 --> 00:19:56,511
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Where are you going?
504
00:19:56,515 --> 00:19:58,214
There's an audience out there
505
00:19:58,218 --> 00:19:59,748
that wants a number from you.
506
00:19:59,754 --> 00:20:00,754
You just can't split.
507
00:20:00,757 --> 00:20:02,622
Who would want
a middle-aged lady
508
00:20:02,626 --> 00:20:04,486
messing around in their thing?
509
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,628
Who knows?
510
00:20:05,631 --> 00:20:07,491
But whatever it is
they're screaming for,
511
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,833
it's my duty to give it to them.
512
00:20:09,838 --> 00:20:11,768
I love those kids.
513
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,574
Sure you do.
514
00:20:13,578 --> 00:20:15,108
They want want her to go on.
515
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:16,546
Yeah.
516
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,880
Tell you what I'll
do. Let's negotiate.
517
00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:20,986
Crowd: Nous voulons
Shirley! Shirley! Shirley!
518
00:20:20,990 --> 00:20:23,456
Look, you can't do this to me.
519
00:20:23,462 --> 00:20:26,222
I'll let you two
settle the details.
520
00:20:26,232 --> 00:20:29,098
I think I'll join my family.
521
00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:30,570
Reuben...
522
00:20:30,574 --> 00:20:32,204
Nous voulons Shirley!
523
00:20:32,210 --> 00:20:34,176
Shirley! Shirley!
524
00:20:34,180 --> 00:20:35,979
Nous voulons Shirley!
525
00:20:35,983 --> 00:20:38,313
[Applause]
526
00:20:41,993 --> 00:20:43,123
Notre mère.
527
00:20:43,128 --> 00:20:44,327
"our mother."
528
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,196
I knew it was
something like that.
529
00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:49,301
[Crowd cheering]
530
00:21:00,992 --> 00:21:03,232
[Playing "Heartbeat"]
531
00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:09,568
♪ I can feel your heart beat ♪
532
00:21:09,574 --> 00:21:12,804
♪ and you didn't
even say a word ♪
533
00:21:12,812 --> 00:21:14,678
♪ I can feel your heart beat ♪
534
00:21:14,683 --> 00:21:17,713
♪ but you didn't
even say a word ♪
535
00:21:17,721 --> 00:21:21,261
♪ oh, I know, pretty woman
that your love can be heard ♪
536
00:21:23,297 --> 00:21:25,027
♪ you can feel
my heart beat too ♪
537
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:27,399
♪ I can tell you're feeling me ♪
538
00:21:27,404 --> 00:21:29,703
♪ you can feel
my heart beat too ♪
539
00:21:29,708 --> 00:21:32,274
♪ I can see you're feeling me ♪
540
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,310
♪ oh, I know, pretty woman
that your love can be heard ♪
541
00:21:35,318 --> 00:21:37,584
♪ oh, oh, oh ♪
542
00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:39,488
♪ we paint the night ♪
543
00:21:39,492 --> 00:21:43,422
♪ let it shine in the
light of our love ♪
544
00:21:43,432 --> 00:21:45,762
♪ this is the night ♪
545
00:21:45,769 --> 00:21:49,768
♪ yeah, this is the
night of our love ♪
546
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:52,709
♪ I'll treat you like a woman
love you like a woman ♪
547
00:21:52,715 --> 00:21:55,545
♪ lord, I'll prove it, baby
I'm a man of my word ♪
548
00:22:00,228 --> 00:22:02,788
♪ love, love can't you
feel your heart beat ♪
549
00:22:02,798 --> 00:22:05,097
♪ love, love I can
feel your heart beat ♪
550
00:22:05,102 --> 00:22:07,968
♪ love, love can't you
feel your heart beat ♪
551
00:22:07,974 --> 00:22:10,404
♪ love ♪
552
00:22:10,411 --> 00:22:12,244
♪ and we paint the night ♪
553
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:16,178
♪ let it shine in the
light of our love ♪
554
00:22:16,188 --> 00:22:18,587
♪ this is the night ♪
555
00:22:18,592 --> 00:22:22,222
♪ yeah, this is the
night of our love ♪
556
00:22:22,231 --> 00:22:24,930
♪ I'll treat you like a woman
love you like a woman ♪
557
00:22:24,936 --> 00:22:28,306
♪ lord, I'll prove it, baby
I'm a man of my word ♪
558
00:22:32,783 --> 00:22:35,113
♪ love, love can't you
feel your heart beat ♪
559
00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:37,851
♪ love, love I can
feel your heart beat ♪
560
00:22:37,858 --> 00:22:39,924
♪ love, love can't you
feel my heart beat ♪
561
00:22:39,929 --> 00:22:42,828
♪ love, love I can
feel your heart beat ♪
562
00:22:42,834 --> 00:22:45,264
♪ love, love can't you
feel my heart beat ♪
563
00:22:45,271 --> 00:22:47,770
♪ love, love I can
feel your heart beat ♪
564
00:22:47,775 --> 00:22:50,141
♪ love, love can't you feel it ♪
565
00:22:50,146 --> 00:22:52,412
♪ love, love oh, I can feel it ♪
566
00:22:52,417 --> 00:22:54,016
♪ love, love ♪
567
00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:56,450
♪ gettin' stronger love, love ♪
568
00:22:56,457 --> 00:22:59,287
♪ I can feel it love, love ♪
569
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,494
♪ I can feel it love, love ♪
570
00:23:01,499 --> 00:23:02,499
♪ it's getting stronger ♪
571
00:23:02,501 --> 00:23:03,641
♪ love ♪♪
572
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,470
[cheering and applause]
573
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,766
[Applause]
574
00:23:22,769 --> 00:23:24,629
Listen to that applause.
575
00:23:24,638 --> 00:23:26,471
Four encores. Out of sight.
576
00:23:26,476 --> 00:23:28,306
I mean, really out of sight.
577
00:23:28,312 --> 00:23:29,642
This tour is gonna be big.
578
00:23:29,647 --> 00:23:31,346
It was because you
were with us, mom.
579
00:23:31,350 --> 00:23:33,016
Yeah, you saw the difference
580
00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:34,886
as soon as you got on stage.
581
00:23:34,890 --> 00:23:36,989
You were doing fine without me.
582
00:23:36,994 --> 00:23:39,324
We've got charisma, mom,
but you've got sex appeal.
583
00:23:39,331 --> 00:23:41,097
Logan: The kids are right.
584
00:23:41,101 --> 00:23:44,100
Shirley, you are one
exciting performer.
585
00:23:44,106 --> 00:23:47,466
Listen, Shirley, have
you ever thought
586
00:23:47,478 --> 00:23:48,911
of going out as a single?
587
00:23:48,914 --> 00:23:51,074
I mean, what do you
need with a bunch of kids?
588
00:23:51,084 --> 00:23:54,883
Look, let me book a
tour of Europe for you
589
00:23:54,890 --> 00:23:55,923
by yourself.
590
00:23:55,926 --> 00:23:57,786
Forget it, Logan.
I'm not interested.
591
00:23:57,795 --> 00:23:59,561
Listen, I know what I'm doing.
592
00:23:59,565 --> 00:24:01,264
I could make you big.
593
00:24:01,268 --> 00:24:03,034
You're impossible.
594
00:24:03,038 --> 00:24:04,768
Come on, kids.
595
00:24:04,774 --> 00:24:07,040
You can't talk to me like that.
596
00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:08,905
I'm a giant.
597
00:24:08,914 --> 00:24:10,247
Nice try.
598
00:24:10,251 --> 00:24:11,711
Kids worship at my feet.
599
00:24:11,719 --> 00:24:13,318
No autographs today, kids.
600
00:24:13,322 --> 00:24:15,021
I'm too whacked
out. Can't you...
601
00:24:15,025 --> 00:24:17,224
Well, I'll-I'll-I'll sign
a few autographs,
602
00:24:17,229 --> 00:24:18,929
if you insist.
603
00:24:22,304 --> 00:24:23,734
If you...
604
00:24:23,740 --> 00:24:25,506
If you insist,
605
00:24:25,510 --> 00:24:27,340
I'll sign your autograph book.
606
00:24:27,346 --> 00:24:28,412
[Speaking French]
607
00:24:28,415 --> 00:24:29,415
Logan mays.
608
00:24:29,418 --> 00:24:31,148
The Logan mays.
609
00:24:31,153 --> 00:24:33,819
The promoter.
610
00:24:33,824 --> 00:24:35,790
Give me that, kid.
611
00:24:35,795 --> 00:24:38,994
[Muttering] There's just
no justice in the world.
612
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,230
I made you what you are today.
613
00:24:47,166 --> 00:24:49,206
[♪♪♪]
614
00:24:49,256 --> 00:24:53,806
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