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1
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,770
- The client?
- The pigeon.
2
00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:01,947
- His name?
- Cott, Sydney Cott.
3
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,299
Marvelous, Marvelous.
4
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,435
Now what do you say?
5
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,935
- What do you say?
- You want bargain foods,
go to a volume dealer.
6
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:16,832
Go to Mother Inc.,
but don'’t come to Mooseghian.
7
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,965
6,000 is all I got.
So help me, I'’m busted.
8
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,794
I don'’t read that you sell
your house for $150,000,
9
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:26,755
and 10 G'’s you can'’t spare
for a custom killing?
10
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,888
I went for the pale, why do
you think I'’m living here in
the gym for?
11
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:32,326
So maybe I got
a little cash socked away,
12
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,937
but it'’s just enough to
get out of the country.
13
00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:38,221
For that the government will
make you a loan. They will be
very happy to deport you.
14
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:41,335
It'’s a very simple job.
I already found the victim,
right?
15
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,511
He works out in
the gym every day.
16
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,861
Perfect, a nobody, and nobody
will ever miss him.
17
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,777
All you gotta do is blow up
the gym,
18
00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:50,996
and you fix so that this guy
dies in the fire.
19
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,130
But you want extras.
You want everything to burn
but his feet.
20
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,437
What do you want, bookends?
21
00:02:56,611 --> 00:03:00,397
I don'’t want the Feds looking
for me when I duck out on a
tax rap.
22
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:04,445
Something'’s got to be left of
this guy so they think it'’s my
body.
23
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,274
- His feet?
- His feet.
24
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:10,538
We'’ll talk in the steam room,
he tells me.
25
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:15,020
Mooseghian, this guy'’s got
a left foot that is an inch
longer than his right.
26
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,022
Like mine, look.
27
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:21,331
Your left foot, it'’s longer.
28
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,115
An inch longer.
29
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,422
Just like the pigeon I want
you to knock off for me.
30
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,207
Marvelous.
31
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:31,994
Marvelous! Therefore,
now the price is 12.
32
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,736
- What?
- Supply and demand.
33
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,607
Oh.
34
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:39,958
Foots, Foots, no!
35
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:47,357
Turn off the steam, Foots!
36
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:50,795
All right!
All right, 6,000!
37
00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:00,196
See? It'’s a pleasure doing
business with you.
38
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,644
Wait a minute, smart bargainer.
39
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:15,951
This health club is
only a front, I know.
40
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,910
- But don'’t you turn
a nice profit from it?
- We'’re in the red.
41
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,782
Metric, Al.
42
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,499
As soon as you'’re ready,
give me the word
43
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,438
and then me and Sugar
will cut out.
44
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:27,223
Sugar? You'’re taking that
bird-brained stripper with
you?
45
00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,051
What do you mean bird-brained?
46
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:24,846
Sugar?
47
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,116
- Sugar?
- Uh-huh.
48
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,640
- You back?
- Uh-huh.
49
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:39,164
- You got the cake?
- Uh-uh.
50
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,387
- What?
- There was wax and stuff
all over the deposit box.
51
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,365
The man said I couldn'’t take
anything out of it.
52
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:47,999
What do you mean wax?
53
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,393
Wax, with a big eagle on it.
54
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:53,831
- An eagle?
- Yeah, with arrows
in its claw.
55
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,965
An eagle with arrows
in its claw?
56
00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:59,794
Yeah. Ain'’t it wild?
57
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:05,016
You bird brain! That'’s the
great seal of the Unites
States!
58
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:08,063
- It was not a seal.
It was an eagle.
Hey.
59
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,066
What'’s all the holler?
60
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,720
The Feds impounded our getaway
cash.
61
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,591
- Did you pay off Mooseghian?
- Yeah.
62
00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:16,332
- Is he gone?
- Yeah.
63
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:20,118
Great! How much do we got
left in the club funds?
64
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,773
Funds? We'’re a week
behind in the salaries.
65
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,122
You...
66
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,568
Larry. He'’s always good
for a touch.
67
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,746
Larry?
68
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,183
Larry, baby. Foots Pulardos.
69
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:48,103
Listen, pal, could you float
a couple of G'’s for me?
70
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:51,585
Well, listen, it'’s a matter
of life and death, Larry.
I gotta have it.
71
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:57,852
I told the Feds I get all my
money from friends. You gonna
make a perjurer out of me?
72
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,422
Fair-weather fink.
73
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,598
No?
No!
74
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,688
No loot.
75
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,298
No plane fare.
76
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,996
No getaway.
77
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:16,174
Somebody up there hates my guts.
78
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:21,484
Gee, Foots. There must be some
way you can get some money.
79
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:25,445
I'’ve got it!
Foots, listen to me.
80
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:28,143
Why don'’t you get yourself
a Diners'’ Club card?
81
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:30,406
You can charge all kinds
of froopy things on that.
82
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:34,497
Sugar, baby, we got
to go to Mexico, not
to a Chinese restaurant.
83
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:40,548
Anyway, what idiot is going to
approve a card, a Diners'’ Club
card, for Foots Pulardos?
84
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,919
Don'’t do that, Ernie.
You'’ll get nervous.
85
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:06,301
And sign that with unceasing
regard for your tender
cooperation, et cetera.
86
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:07,737
And read it back to me.
87
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,783
Yes?
88
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:12,046
Yes, Claude.
89
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:16,224
That id...
90
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,229
He what?
91
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:28,062
Get Klenk in here right away.
92
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,021
Lucy, type us a rough
draft of that, will you,
please?
93
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:41,336
Yes, sir.
94
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,528
Klenk.
95
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:03,488
It is my understanding that
there exists in Los Angeles
a semi-religious cult
96
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:08,798
which considers dogs, cheetahs
and parakeets to be the
beloved of the gods.
97
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:13,673
Are you by any chance
a dues-paying member
of this cult?
98
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,065
Oh, no, sir.
99
00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:16,588
Oh, no, no.
100
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,722
I just thought I'’d ask.
Uh-huh.
101
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:24,553
Since you have seen fit
to okay a Diners'’ card
for a German shepherd!
102
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:27,643
Me?
103
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,778
These are your initials,
are they not?
104
00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:35,172
Maurice Baskerville
is a German shepherd?
105
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:39,263
That is what it says
on the back of the form.
106
00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:42,092
If only you had taken
the trouble to look.
107
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,181
Some little old lady in Pasadena
108
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:47,358
thought it would be cute if
her hound had a Diners'’ card.
109
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:50,100
And you okayed it!
110
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:54,409
Now, I tell you, Klenk,
I am a gentle man!
111
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:57,717
Yes, I am a very kindly
sort of fellow!
112
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,328
I...
113
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:02,634
I am aware that you
are going to marry
114
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:05,246
my favorite secretary
the day after tomorrow.
115
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,552
- Yes, sir.
- And your various anxieties
116
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,860
have sent my kidneys
throbbing with sympathetic
pulsations.
117
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,515
- I'’m sorry, sir.
- But...
118
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:17,214
one more blunder and your
feckless hunting
119
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:21,218
in this temple of commerce
will be terminated
immediately.
120
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:25,919
You mean I'’m going to be
fired, sir?
121
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:32,664
Your lightning insights
never cease to astonish me.
122
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,188
Thank you, sir.
123
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:54,774
Coffee break, 10 minutes.
124
00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:25,805
For a dog, Ernie?
125
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:29,156
A credit card for a dog?
126
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:34,291
Ernie, look at me.
127
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,598
How many times have we set
the wedding date?
128
00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:40,080
How many times have
we put it off?
129
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:46,042
How many times was it because
you thought you were going to
be fired?
130
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,696
Say it.
131
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:52,135
- Four. Four.
- Four.
132
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:55,704
Oh, Ernie, I'’ve waited years.
Years!
133
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,900
While you went from
the night crew stuffing
department
134
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,883
to the day crew
stuffing department.
135
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:05,888
Now, Maurice Baskerville or
not, this wedding comes off
Saturday at 11.
136
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:09,718
- I hope you can hang on to
this job at least until...
- Lucy...
137
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:12,503
I'’ve had just about all I can
take...
138
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:15,550
Lucy! Don'’t say finished.
139
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:19,423
Just don'’t say it.
140
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:22,992
Come on now, honey.
You'’re just getting
hysterical.
141
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:26,648
No, I'’m not. I'’m just not
getting any younger.
142
00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,916
- Ernie, she wants me to wait
for an answer.
- Oh.
143
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:22,878
Don'’t go away.
144
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,184
I won'’t.
145
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:45,379
Rush this right back, huh?
146
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:23,172
It bothers you that much?
147
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,000
It bothers me that much.
148
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:28,047
- I wonder, Ernie.
- You wonder what?
149
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:33,487
I wonder if it is the machines
or just bye-bye freedom. Hello,
ball and chain.
150
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:38,361
Look, ball and chain,
151
00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:42,539
do you know why I took that
promotion that you so nicely
arranged for me?
152
00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:44,541
Not because I like the job.
153
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:47,153
I don'’t. I never have
liked it.
154
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:50,199
I took it so we'’d have enough
money to get married on.
155
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:54,160
Even though I knew those
machines would drive me
absolutely out of my mind.
156
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,033
I took it because I want you.
157
00:17:58,207 --> 00:17:59,904
Oh, Ernie.
158
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,515
Let me explain something.
159
00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:06,172
When I was a little kid,
160
00:18:06,346 --> 00:18:10,045
we used to live in a rundown
apartment that
overlooked an alley.
161
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:15,050
And across the alley, there
was a kind of foundry or
something.
162
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:19,359
But all night long there used
to be a yellow light that went
on and off.
163
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,800
Those infernal machines
would drive me crazy.
164
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:29,020
And those computers remind me
of those machines.
165
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,979
Oh, Ernie.
166
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:34,939
Look, honey, I won'’t let it
bug me anymore. I promise.
167
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,637
No more mistakes, so help me.
168
00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:39,553
If I can'’t marry you...
169
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,307
Klenk!
170
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,266
Cash?
171
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,572
Cash. Oh...
172
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,756
Thank you, Klenk.
173
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:13,064
Thank you for not sinking
to the ultimate depravity.
174
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:54,845
How about that.
Foots Pulardos.
175
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,892
While he'’s at it, why doesn'’t
he put Mickey Cohen up there?
176
00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,807
Who does he think we are,
simpleminded?
177
00:20:34,885 --> 00:20:37,671
Looking for your marbles?
178
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:50,292
Honey, I don'’t want to bug you
with any dimwit questions and
things, but...
179
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,705
That'’s okay, Ernie. You can'’t
learn everything in three
weeks.
180
00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:54,383
Yeah, well, um...
181
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:57,952
what happens to these cards when
we get through with them here?
182
00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,736
- They'’re destroyed.
- Destroyed?
183
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:00,998
Yes.
184
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,174
- Destroyed?
- Yes.
185
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:06,961
And all the information,
the important data, is typed
on cards.
186
00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:10,051
- Typed on cards?
- The cards are filed
in the membership file.
187
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:12,227
- Put in the membership file?
- Yes.
188
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:13,707
Put in the m-m-membership...
189
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,642
Ella?
190
00:21:35,816 --> 00:21:37,470
- Ella?
- What do you want?
191
00:21:37,644 --> 00:21:38,732
What?
192
00:21:38,906 --> 00:21:40,037
What do you want?
193
00:21:41,648 --> 00:21:43,867
Could I get into the files
for just a second?
194
00:21:44,041 --> 00:21:46,217
- Could you get at the files?
- Yeah just for a second.
195
00:21:46,392 --> 00:21:49,264
It took me six weeks to set up
this automatic system.
196
00:21:49,438 --> 00:21:51,440
- Well, I know that.
- Six weeks.
197
00:21:51,614 --> 00:21:55,444
- And I just now got it
purring.
- Yeah, but...
198
00:21:55,618 --> 00:21:59,013
- Ernie! This isn'’t
any ordinary file.
- Granted...
199
00:21:59,187 --> 00:22:04,105
It'’s a gorgeous, complicated
brain with delicate little
nerve endings.
200
00:22:04,279 --> 00:22:06,977
And nobody plays with it
but mamma.
201
00:22:08,152 --> 00:22:09,545
Now, what'’s your problem?
202
00:22:09,719 --> 00:22:11,199
I'’ve got to check
on a new applicant.
203
00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:13,549
I'’ll do it. What'’s his name?
204
00:22:13,723 --> 00:22:15,246
Name?
205
00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:18,815
Pulardos.
206
00:22:18,989 --> 00:22:20,251
Pulardos.
207
00:22:20,426 --> 00:22:22,079
Ronald Pulardos.
208
00:22:22,253 --> 00:22:23,690
Ronald Pulardos.
209
00:22:23,864 --> 00:22:25,126
Watch.
210
00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:29,130
This I love.
211
00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:31,350
We pull the master control
lever.
212
00:22:34,657 --> 00:22:37,704
We punch "PU,"
if you'’ll pardon the expression.
213
00:22:40,968 --> 00:22:44,624
And up pop all the names
that start with "PU."
214
00:22:47,061 --> 00:22:49,063
Boy what a time-saver.
215
00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:51,631
New machine, I love you.
216
00:22:51,805 --> 00:22:54,024
Isn'’t it marvelous?
217
00:22:54,198 --> 00:22:55,765
Pulardos. Pulardos.
218
00:22:55,939 --> 00:22:57,158
Pulardos.
219
00:22:57,332 --> 00:22:58,812
Yep. Ronald.
220
00:23:00,117 --> 00:23:01,597
Careful you don'’t crumple it.
221
00:23:01,771 --> 00:23:03,164
Ronald Pulardos.
222
00:23:03,338 --> 00:23:05,732
His card was mailed today.
223
00:23:32,976 --> 00:23:35,239
Oh, I got to check on something
in the office.
224
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:39,287
Sorry. One of these gets out
of place and I go screaming
into the petunias.
225
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,550
Whacks up the whole system.
226
00:23:41,724 --> 00:23:44,423
Well, it wasn'’t
important anyway.
227
00:23:59,263 --> 00:24:00,439
- Bea?
- Yeah?
228
00:24:00,613 --> 00:24:02,919
Let me ask you something.
229
00:24:03,093 --> 00:24:06,793
What would you do if,
by mistake, I mean,
230
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:10,231
you inadvertently okayed a
card for someone whose name
was on that board?
231
00:24:10,405 --> 00:24:12,625
- I'’d shoot myself.
- Oh.
232
00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:15,845
Well, suppose you'’re a coward.
233
00:24:16,019 --> 00:24:18,282
I'’d destroy the evidence,
then I'’d shoot myself.
234
00:24:24,724 --> 00:24:26,639
Coffee break, 10 minutes.
235
00:25:16,079 --> 00:25:17,211
Okay.
236
00:25:17,385 --> 00:25:19,126
"PU."
237
00:25:41,844 --> 00:25:43,585
PU.
Pular...
238
00:25:48,416 --> 00:25:49,722
PX.
239
00:25:59,209 --> 00:26:01,124
PU.
240
00:27:00,967 --> 00:27:02,055
Ernie?
241
00:27:09,018 --> 00:27:10,150
Ernie?
242
00:28:31,797 --> 00:28:33,581
Where'’s Ernie?
243
00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:35,278
He'’s probably very busy.
244
00:28:52,992 --> 00:28:54,602
Litterbug.
245
00:29:31,073 --> 00:29:33,728
- Coffee. Black, please.
- Cream, sugar?
246
00:29:33,902 --> 00:29:35,034
No, black, black.
247
00:30:28,087 --> 00:30:29,523
Mr. Bassanio.
248
00:30:31,742 --> 00:30:33,832
I'’m afraid I won'’t be able to...
249
00:30:36,573 --> 00:30:39,315
I'’m afraid I won'’t be able
to come in today.
250
00:30:39,489 --> 00:30:41,535
Because...
251
00:30:42,971 --> 00:30:44,712
I'’m not feeling well.
252
00:30:44,886 --> 00:30:47,236
Oh? Rabies?
253
00:30:48,672 --> 00:30:50,457
No, it'’s just...
254
00:30:50,631 --> 00:30:52,241
I have a slight temperature.
255
00:30:52,415 --> 00:30:54,156
I hope so for your sake.
256
00:30:54,330 --> 00:30:55,766
You remember what
the chief said:
257
00:30:55,941 --> 00:30:58,117
"One step out of line
and you'’re fired."
258
00:30:58,291 --> 00:31:00,510
And my nephew Jimmy
moves into the job
259
00:31:00,684 --> 00:31:02,948
he should'’ve had in
the first place.
Is that clear?
260
00:31:40,246 --> 00:31:41,943
How am I gonna pay you back?
261
00:31:42,117 --> 00:31:44,815
I got piles of dough
stashed away in Mexico.
262
00:31:44,990 --> 00:31:47,557
Why do you think I'’m going
down there? Sure.
263
00:31:47,731 --> 00:31:50,473
You don'’t understand.
It'’s all in cash.
264
00:31:50,647 --> 00:31:53,650
And nobody can get at it
but me personally.
265
00:31:53,824 --> 00:31:55,435
Edgar?
266
00:31:55,609 --> 00:31:56,827
Edgar?
267
00:31:58,177 --> 00:32:00,744
Selfish, selfish, selfish.
268
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,398
Maybe I don'’t live right.
269
00:32:02,572 --> 00:32:05,967
Aw, Footsie,
don'’t worry, sweetheart.
270
00:32:06,141 --> 00:32:08,361
- Your little Sugar
will fix everything.
- Oh?
271
00:32:10,450 --> 00:32:14,280
I'’m not just a body, you know.
I'’ve got brains too.
272
00:32:14,454 --> 00:32:17,587
- Brains?
- You see what I mean? Oh!
273
00:32:17,761 --> 00:32:20,982
All you ever give me credit
for is unmentionables.
274
00:32:21,156 --> 00:32:24,333
But you just wait.
You'’ll change your tune when
that Diners'’ Card gets here.
275
00:32:24,507 --> 00:32:27,728
- Diners'’ Card?
- Yeah, I made out an
application for you.
276
00:32:27,902 --> 00:32:30,252
I bet we get it too.
And Foots,
it'’s just as good as money!
277
00:32:30,426 --> 00:32:31,514
I knew this fellow once...
278
00:32:31,688 --> 00:32:33,908
Oh, you and your fellows.
279
00:32:34,082 --> 00:32:37,085
Don'’t you understand?
We can'’t get to Mexico on a
Diners'’.
280
00:32:40,697 --> 00:32:43,265
I thought so.
281
00:32:43,439 --> 00:32:45,267
Okay, Sugar,
where'’d you hide the bottle?
282
00:32:45,441 --> 00:32:47,681
Last time, you stuck it in one
of those reducer machines,
283
00:32:47,748 --> 00:32:49,402
and some fat, old lady,
284
00:32:49,576 --> 00:32:51,510
she winds up with a bloomers
full of bourbon shrapnel.
285
00:32:51,534 --> 00:32:53,493
- Now, where'’d you hide it?
- Foots, Foots!
286
00:32:53,667 --> 00:32:55,451
-Yeah?
-Cotton, Foots.
Sidney Cotton.
287
00:32:55,625 --> 00:32:59,020
- What about him?
- He'’s dead.
288
00:32:59,194 --> 00:33:02,763
-He'’s what?
-I just heard it on the news.
Six-car freeway accident.
289
00:33:02,937 --> 00:33:06,158
Everybody got by without
a scratch...
but him.
290
00:33:07,942 --> 00:33:11,076
You telling me I ain'’t got
no body?
291
00:33:11,250 --> 00:33:15,341
You telling me that Cotton
died ahead of schedule?
That crumb?
292
00:33:15,515 --> 00:33:17,386
That no-good, lousy crumb?
293
00:33:19,258 --> 00:33:23,610
Can'’t I trust anybody?
That no-good, selfish...
294
00:33:23,784 --> 00:33:26,265
The freeway?
295
00:33:26,439 --> 00:33:30,312
You know, more people have
been killed on that lousy
freeway than in the whole war?
296
00:33:30,486 --> 00:33:32,532
Yeah, accidental deaths,
sure, all of them.
297
00:33:32,706 --> 00:33:34,546
And what'’s the government
doing about it, huh?
298
00:33:34,664 --> 00:33:37,102
Safety belts! Safety belts.
What am I paying taxes for?
299
00:33:37,276 --> 00:33:39,060
- You don'’t.
- Shut up!
300
00:33:40,801 --> 00:33:42,803
I never asked to be born
into this world.
301
00:33:42,977 --> 00:33:44,065
Oh, Footsie, don'’t say...
302
00:33:44,239 --> 00:33:45,675
Hey, George,
303
00:33:45,849 --> 00:33:47,416
you gotta start looking again,
huh?
304
00:33:47,590 --> 00:33:49,940
You found Cotton,
maybe you can find another one.
305
00:33:50,115 --> 00:33:52,223
But, Foots, a guy with a left
foot an inch longer than...
306
00:33:52,247 --> 00:33:53,901
Don'’t bother me
with no details!
307
00:33:54,075 --> 00:33:56,315
Yeah, so maybe his left foot
is only half an inch longer.
308
00:33:56,469 --> 00:33:58,949
So maybe we compromise.
Maybe we forget about the
foot, eh?
309
00:33:59,124 --> 00:34:01,517
Just find me a guy that no one
will miss.
310
00:34:01,691 --> 00:34:04,651
Eh? I don'’t know, something,
anything. Eh?
Advertise!
311
00:34:04,825 --> 00:34:08,524
Just get more people in here.
Put out a "help wanted" sign.
312
00:34:08,698 --> 00:34:10,807
Do something, will you?
Just get me a body so I can die.
313
00:34:10,831 --> 00:34:12,615
- Yeah, sure, Foots.
- Now get right on it.
314
00:34:14,965 --> 00:34:18,621
Cotton, you...
You crumb!
315
00:34:20,449 --> 00:34:23,626
Footsie,
can'’t we go to Mexico anyway?
316
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,890
With what?
We can'’t even float a trip
to Disney Land.
317
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,631
But if the Diners'’ Card gets
here...
318
00:34:28,805 --> 00:34:30,677
Oh, Diners'’ Card, who needs it?
319
00:34:30,851 --> 00:34:31,971
Oh, I'’ll take those inside.
320
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:33,158
Wait a minute,
321
00:34:33,332 --> 00:34:35,073
want me to get fired?
322
00:34:35,247 --> 00:34:37,988
Fired.
323
00:35:22,990 --> 00:35:24,296
Morning.
324
00:35:25,427 --> 00:35:26,689
Good morning, sir.
325
00:35:26,863 --> 00:35:28,430
Oh, yes, sir?
326
00:35:28,604 --> 00:35:31,520
I uh... I'’d like to apply.
327
00:35:31,694 --> 00:35:32,826
Sure.
328
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,262
Don'’t take no mind reader
329
00:35:34,436 --> 00:35:36,022
to tell that, not with
the sickening physique
330
00:35:36,046 --> 00:35:37,613
like you got, buddy.
331
00:35:37,787 --> 00:35:40,050
You'’d like the five-year
course, right?
332
00:35:40,225 --> 00:35:43,141
Uh, no, as a matter of fact,
I'’d, uh...
333
00:35:43,315 --> 00:35:46,187
I'’d like to apply for
the instructor'’s job.
334
00:35:47,536 --> 00:35:48,798
- The job?
- Yeah.
335
00:35:48,972 --> 00:35:52,628
Oh, yeah, sure.
I should have known.
336
00:35:52,802 --> 00:35:55,457
- You look like instructor
material.
- Yeah.
337
00:36:02,377 --> 00:36:04,640
What kind of experience you got?
338
00:36:04,814 --> 00:36:07,121
Experience?
339
00:36:07,295 --> 00:36:13,083
Well, uh, I had two years
with the Muscle Institute
in Newark, New Jersey.
340
00:36:13,258 --> 00:36:15,869
Oh, I knew you had a lot of
class when you come in here.
341
00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:21,657
Yeah, then I had, uh, about
nine months with the Torso
Institute in Fire Island.
342
00:36:21,831 --> 00:36:26,619
We were doing, you know,
all that work there.
343
00:36:26,793 --> 00:36:28,142
- How do you spell that?
- R...
344
00:36:28,316 --> 00:36:29,596
Never mind, I'’ll abbreviate it.
345
00:36:29,622 --> 00:36:30,797
I'’ve also had, uh...
346
00:36:30,971 --> 00:36:32,320
That'’s plenty, that'’s plenty.
347
00:36:32,494 --> 00:36:35,628
I got no more room on the form.
348
00:36:35,802 --> 00:36:39,632
- Now listen, we got a 24-hour
operation going on here.
- I see.
349
00:36:39,806 --> 00:36:42,726
I mean, we got one or two
kooks liable to roll in here
at 2 in the morning.
350
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:47,422
So it'’s kind of tough on a guy
with a family.
351
00:36:47,596 --> 00:36:50,164
Oh, well, that ain'’t no problem
at all.
352
00:36:50,338 --> 00:36:54,473
See, I ain'’t married. I got no
family or nothin'’.
I ain'’t even got no kids.
353
00:36:54,647 --> 00:36:55,822
So, uh...
354
00:36:55,996 --> 00:36:58,303
Wonderful, wonderful.
355
00:36:58,477 --> 00:37:01,436
Mr. Pulardos okays you,
you got yourself a job, kiddo.
356
00:37:01,610 --> 00:37:04,178
Wonderful, wonderful.
357
00:37:04,352 --> 00:37:06,093
We'’ll see, we'’ll see.
358
00:37:09,836 --> 00:37:11,011
Boy, it'’s hot in here.
359
00:37:14,362 --> 00:37:16,538
Uh, yes, I will be very happy
to...
360
00:37:16,712 --> 00:37:20,716
Now I gotta take your
measurements. That'’s got a lot
to do with it.
361
00:37:20,890 --> 00:37:22,501
Shoe... size?
362
00:37:24,459 --> 00:37:26,592
Uh, don'’t you want to know
how tall I am?
363
00:37:26,766 --> 00:37:28,550
I gotta go by the form.
364
00:37:28,724 --> 00:37:29,856
Oh.
365
00:37:30,944 --> 00:37:34,513
Shoe... size?
366
00:37:34,687 --> 00:37:37,951
- 10 and 11.
- Make up your mind,
which is it?
367
00:37:38,125 --> 00:37:39,648
10 and 11.
368
00:37:39,822 --> 00:37:41,607
10 and...
369
00:37:41,781 --> 00:37:46,002
10... and... 11?
370
00:37:46,176 --> 00:37:49,571
Well, yeah. See, one foot
is a little bit longer than
the other.
371
00:37:52,531 --> 00:37:55,360
Your foot is...
372
00:37:55,534 --> 00:37:57,013
Your left foot?!
373
00:37:57,187 --> 00:37:59,015
I can'’t help it.
I went to an orthopedic...
374
00:37:59,189 --> 00:38:00,800
Wait, wait right here,
just a second.
375
00:38:15,815 --> 00:38:17,643
Ronald Pul...
376
00:38:28,958 --> 00:38:31,526
Oh, pardon me.
377
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:33,615
I am Ronald Pulardos, the owner.
378
00:38:33,789 --> 00:38:36,531
Oh, hi.
I'’m, um, Ernest, um, Klenk.
379
00:38:36,705 --> 00:38:40,318
And this is one of our leading
instructors,
Miss Sugar Pye.
380
00:38:42,581 --> 00:38:44,583
Oh, oh, hi.
381
00:38:44,757 --> 00:38:47,063
I guess you'’re wondering why
we'’re staring at your feet.
382
00:38:47,237 --> 00:38:50,023
Uh... uh, no, I...
383
00:38:50,197 --> 00:38:53,026
- You gotta admit they'’re kind
of a crazy match, huh?
- Well, yes,
384
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,898
they are a little unusual...
385
00:38:56,072 --> 00:38:57,422
Not as unusual as you think,
386
00:38:57,596 --> 00:38:59,641
and I'’ll show you why.
387
00:39:00,773 --> 00:39:03,079
Here, try these on.
388
00:39:03,253 --> 00:39:05,865
Oh, uh, they won'’t fit.
389
00:39:06,039 --> 00:39:07,170
Try '’em on!
390
00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:10,217
Try them... on.
391
00:39:20,009 --> 00:39:21,881
Could I have a shoehorn?
392
00:39:22,055 --> 00:39:23,578
- Get him a shoehorn.
- A what?
393
00:39:23,752 --> 00:39:25,014
- A shoehorn!
- The both of us?
394
00:39:25,188 --> 00:39:26,364
Get it!
395
00:39:27,843 --> 00:39:30,150
Never mind,
I think I can manage.
396
00:39:30,324 --> 00:39:31,717
Here...
397
00:39:32,892 --> 00:39:34,067
How do you feel?
398
00:39:34,241 --> 00:39:35,460
They'’re fine.
399
00:39:35,634 --> 00:39:36,765
They'’re not too tight?
400
00:39:36,939 --> 00:39:39,899
Uh, no, they fit perfectly.
401
00:39:40,073 --> 00:39:41,466
Give me your leg.
402
00:39:46,601 --> 00:39:47,907
Huh, how do they fit?
403
00:39:48,081 --> 00:39:49,865
Just perfect,
I can'’t get over it.
404
00:39:51,476 --> 00:39:53,652
- Let'’s see you walk around.
- Hm?
405
00:39:53,826 --> 00:39:55,654
Walk around.
406
00:39:55,828 --> 00:39:58,396
Uh, oh, no, uh, they fit
fine, I...
407
00:39:58,570 --> 00:40:00,180
Walk around.
408
00:40:00,354 --> 00:40:01,703
Walk around...
409
00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:18,503
What'’s wrong,
are they cramping you?
410
00:40:18,677 --> 00:40:23,029
No, no. It'’s just an old
football injury.
I have a spasm in my...
411
00:40:23,203 --> 00:40:25,248
Aw, that'’s too bad.
412
00:40:25,423 --> 00:40:27,903
- I sometimes get a muscle
in my spasm...
- Aw, that'’s too bad.
413
00:40:28,904 --> 00:40:31,254
You mean I don'’t qualify?
414
00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:32,821
Klenk,
415
00:40:32,995 --> 00:40:34,344
do I look like the kind of guy
416
00:40:34,519 --> 00:40:35,887
that would deny a guy
the right to work
417
00:40:35,911 --> 00:40:37,304
on account of infirmary?
418
00:40:37,478 --> 00:40:40,046
Now you listen.
419
00:40:40,220 --> 00:40:42,962
As far as I'’m concerned,
you got great
qualifications.
420
00:40:44,790 --> 00:40:46,618
You got the job,
now give me back my shoes.
421
00:40:49,490 --> 00:40:52,885
You got no idea what it means
to me, getting an experienced
instructor like you.
422
00:40:53,059 --> 00:40:56,932
You know our top boy,
he just died unexpectedly.
423
00:40:57,106 --> 00:41:00,240
One of those disgusting
freeway accidents.
424
00:41:00,414 --> 00:41:02,677
Isn'’t that something?
425
00:41:02,851 --> 00:41:05,569
You take an average, ordinary
guy and stick him behind the
wheel of a car,
426
00:41:05,593 --> 00:41:08,770
and right away,
he turns into a killer.
427
00:41:08,944 --> 00:41:13,253
Well, we lost a good man, but
I know that you'’re gonna fill
his shoes very nicely.
428
00:41:14,689 --> 00:41:16,038
Now Mr. Marinara here
429
00:41:16,212 --> 00:41:18,084
will give you some clothes
and some gear,
430
00:41:18,258 --> 00:41:20,105
and then we'’ll uh...
you can start right away,
right?
431
00:41:20,129 --> 00:41:21,957
Yeah, sure.
432
00:41:22,131 --> 00:41:24,743
Now, Miss Pye will take you.
Now, where is she?
433
00:41:24,917 --> 00:41:26,092
Hey, Sugar!
434
00:41:26,266 --> 00:41:28,181
Footsie!
435
00:41:28,355 --> 00:41:30,879
Footsie, you got it! Look!
The Diners'’ Card, honey!
436
00:41:32,315 --> 00:41:34,970
Look, a Diners'’ Card!
437
00:41:35,144 --> 00:41:38,384
And a whole book of things you
can get with it! Oh, didn'’t I
tell you, sweetheart?
438
00:41:38,539 --> 00:41:40,367
Just like a little kid.
439
00:41:40,541 --> 00:41:42,717
All bug-eyed because I got
a Diners'’ Card.
440
00:41:42,891 --> 00:41:44,371
You got a Diners'’ Card, Klenk?
441
00:41:44,545 --> 00:41:46,155
- Yeah.
- Now you get much use
out of it?
442
00:41:46,329 --> 00:41:47,809
No, there'’s really not...
443
00:41:47,983 --> 00:41:50,290
Ah, swell, will you tell her,
444
00:41:50,464 --> 00:41:54,033
and explain to her that
a Diners'’ Card is not the end
of the world?
445
00:41:54,207 --> 00:41:56,927
- But Footsie...
- Now don'’t butter me, will you,
and leave me alone.
446
00:41:57,863 --> 00:41:59,386
All right, I'’ll see you later.
447
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,780
Yeah, I... I suppose I'’ll be
seeing you...
448
00:42:01,954 --> 00:42:04,834
Oh, sure, sure. Miss Pye
is gonna show you around.
Now you go get dressed.
449
00:42:07,089 --> 00:42:10,789
Watch out, huh, and stay fit!
450
00:42:10,963 --> 00:42:13,966
- Footsie, just listen to what
you can order...
- Yeah, I know, I can order
451
00:42:14,140 --> 00:42:17,970
a ton of egg foo yung,
now will you stop that
and leave me alone?
452
00:42:18,144 --> 00:42:21,887
That'’s right. That'’s right,
treat me like I was a moose or
something.
453
00:42:22,061 --> 00:42:25,717
Don'’t listen to me.
Well, let me tell you
something, Mr. Foots Pulardos,
454
00:42:25,891 --> 00:42:29,068
if you don'’t appreciate me,
maybe I can find somebody
who will.
455
00:42:29,242 --> 00:42:33,376
- I'’ve got a mind, a good mind.
- Well, use it, will you,
and don'’t bother me.
456
00:42:33,551 --> 00:42:36,031
Why don'’t you go read a book
or something?
457
00:42:36,205 --> 00:42:41,167
Here, you read one, you big...
repulsive Frankenstein!
458
00:42:41,341 --> 00:42:44,126
Aw, Sugar.
Sugar, baby!
459
00:42:45,519 --> 00:42:48,566
You gangster.
460
00:42:48,740 --> 00:42:49,958
Now that hurt.
461
00:42:50,132 --> 00:42:51,525
I don'’t care.
462
00:42:51,699 --> 00:42:53,222
I hate you.
463
00:42:53,396 --> 00:42:56,138
Okay, Sugar, okay.
464
00:42:56,312 --> 00:43:00,403
Now cut that out, huh?
I didn'’t mean anything,
honest baby, I love you.
465
00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:04,190
Love...
what'’s the good of it
466
00:43:04,364 --> 00:43:05,974
if you don'’t think I can
spell it, even?
467
00:43:06,148 --> 00:43:08,194
Well, you never let me
explain anything.
468
00:43:08,368 --> 00:43:11,284
Here, now let me read this,
I'’ll show you exactly.
469
00:43:11,458 --> 00:43:12,590
Ow!
470
00:43:13,721 --> 00:43:14,853
An eye for an eye.
471
00:43:16,158 --> 00:43:17,246
That feel good?
472
00:43:17,420 --> 00:43:18,596
Mm-hmm.
473
00:43:18,770 --> 00:43:21,816
All right,
I'’m not mad or anything.
474
00:43:21,990 --> 00:43:24,969
Now I'’m gonna prove something
to you. I'’m gonna read you
exactly what you can get
475
00:43:24,993 --> 00:43:26,255
from the Diners'’ Club Card.
476
00:43:26,429 --> 00:43:28,301
Now here'’s a hot item here.
477
00:43:28,475 --> 00:43:32,000
It says you can charge a meal
at the Potted Pigeon Restaurant.
478
00:43:32,174 --> 00:43:33,959
Now is that gonna get us
to Mexico, hmm?
479
00:43:35,090 --> 00:43:36,962
No.
480
00:43:37,136 --> 00:43:38,679
And over here,
you can charge off a night
481
00:43:38,703 --> 00:43:39,834
at the William Tell Motel.
482
00:43:40,008 --> 00:43:41,662
Now is that gonna get us
to Mexico?
483
00:43:41,836 --> 00:43:44,926
Liquor stores, florists,
hairstylists, airlines...
484
00:43:46,101 --> 00:43:47,363
Airlines?
485
00:43:48,930 --> 00:43:51,454
Western Airlines to Mexico,
Sugar baby!
486
00:43:53,587 --> 00:43:57,635
- It'’s what I tried to tell you.
- Oh, Sugar, you'’re a genius!
487
00:43:57,809 --> 00:43:59,027
It'’s about time.
488
00:44:13,694 --> 00:44:17,089
Western Airlines,
the only way to fly.
489
00:44:17,263 --> 00:44:19,352
I'’d like to book space
to Mexico City.
490
00:44:19,526 --> 00:44:21,702
I can charge it to my
Diners'’ Card, right?
491
00:44:21,876 --> 00:44:23,791
Surely, sir.
Your name and card number,
please.
492
00:44:28,274 --> 00:44:29,797
Did you hear me, sir?
493
00:44:34,062 --> 00:44:36,717
You have to give them your name
494
00:44:36,891 --> 00:44:39,981
and your Diners'’ Card number.
495
00:44:40,155 --> 00:44:42,244
And the Feds can check
the reservations.
496
00:44:45,378 --> 00:44:47,032
You stupid imbecile!
497
00:44:55,388 --> 00:44:56,432
No shoehorn.
498
00:44:56,606 --> 00:44:57,782
Get out of here!
499
00:45:04,963 --> 00:45:06,965
The only way to fly!
500
00:45:18,498 --> 00:45:20,065
A sound mind, a sound body,
eh, Klenk?
501
00:45:43,392 --> 00:45:45,960
That'’s to Mexico City, right?
502
00:45:46,134 --> 00:45:48,789
Yeah. Mr. and Mrs. Ernest Klenk.
503
00:45:48,963 --> 00:45:53,141
And a card number:
7LA-7486.
504
00:45:53,315 --> 00:45:57,624
Yeah, that'’s 11:15 a.m.
tomorrow, right?
505
00:45:57,798 --> 00:46:01,062
-Check.
-Tomorrow, Foots?
How come the hurry?
506
00:46:01,236 --> 00:46:03,630
Yeah, well, we gotta kill this
guy before he dies on us.
507
00:46:03,804 --> 00:46:05,884
Now you go out and tell
Sugar to keep her eye on him.
508
00:46:06,024 --> 00:46:08,635
And tell her to keep that
Klenk busy every minute.
And here.
509
00:46:08,809 --> 00:46:11,377
- Stick that back in his
wallet.
- Check. Check. Check.
510
00:46:15,642 --> 00:46:17,905
- Hello?
- Mooseghian. Foots.
511
00:46:18,079 --> 00:46:21,735
No refunds. You made the deal,
you can'’t cancel, swindler.
512
00:46:21,909 --> 00:46:25,391
Who wants to cancel?
Now listen, chum,
513
00:46:25,565 --> 00:46:27,436
I want you here at 6:00
tonight.
514
00:46:31,919 --> 00:46:33,355
Marcus, travel desk.
515
00:46:33,529 --> 00:46:34,792
This is Western Airlines.
516
00:46:34,966 --> 00:46:39,709
Credit check on cardholder
7LA-7486.
517
00:46:39,884 --> 00:46:41,929
Mexico City, tomorrow.
518
00:46:42,103 --> 00:46:45,498
Cardholder, Klenk.
K-L-E-N-K.
519
00:46:45,672 --> 00:46:47,108
Ernest.
520
00:46:47,282 --> 00:46:50,633
Ernie Klenk, huh?
Now that'’s a twist.
521
00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:54,420
- Ernie Klenk works for us...
- Against us, Marcus,
against us.
522
00:46:54,594 --> 00:46:57,945
Yes, against us.
523
00:46:58,119 --> 00:46:59,686
No, no, no, he does.
524
00:47:01,340 --> 00:47:02,558
You'’re welcome, Dawn.
525
00:47:02,732 --> 00:47:04,212
Lunch, one hour.
526
00:47:10,436 --> 00:47:13,134
Hey, Claude, how about some
spaghetti at Ron'’s Deli?
527
00:47:13,308 --> 00:47:17,225
Spaghetti, are you kidding?
I'’m trying to take it off,
not put it on.
528
00:47:19,532 --> 00:47:22,970
I thought you were going
to Carmel on your honeymoon?
529
00:47:23,144 --> 00:47:27,714
- We are.
- No, you'’re not. Ernie just
made reservations for Mexico.
530
00:47:30,064 --> 00:47:32,023
Mexico?
531
00:47:32,197 --> 00:47:36,070
Mexico, all those wonderful
bullfighters. Olé.
532
00:47:36,244 --> 00:47:40,596
Come on, Poncho,
I'’ll buy the tacos.
533
00:47:42,903 --> 00:47:45,273
This one'’s called
the blood circulator.
Really shakes you up.
534
00:47:45,297 --> 00:47:48,778
It shakes you up?
Uh-huh.
535
00:47:48,953 --> 00:47:51,869
Don'’t you think I'’d get the
hang of it a little better
if you, um,
536
00:47:52,043 --> 00:47:53,261
demonstrated it for me?
537
00:47:53,435 --> 00:47:54,697
Crazy!
538
00:47:57,483 --> 00:48:01,530
All right,
all ready, get set, go!
539
00:48:01,704 --> 00:48:05,360
There you go.
Nice and easy,
good for your blood.
540
00:48:05,534 --> 00:48:06,840
Really circulates.
541
00:48:10,104 --> 00:48:14,021
Hey! Wow!
Really healthy!
542
00:48:14,195 --> 00:48:16,023
Hey!
543
00:48:16,197 --> 00:48:18,896
See?
Good for your blood.
Very healthy.
544
00:48:20,071 --> 00:48:21,594
Hi, Mr. Bassanio!
545
00:48:29,863 --> 00:48:31,430
Hey, that'’s good!
546
00:48:31,604 --> 00:48:33,475
You'’ll make a great instructor.
547
00:48:34,999 --> 00:48:37,218
Funzies.
548
00:48:37,392 --> 00:48:38,872
Do you want to try it,
Mr. Bassanio?
549
00:48:39,046 --> 00:48:42,832
- Yeah, all right.
- Okay.
550
00:48:43,007 --> 00:48:47,011
There you go.
Get right in there.
Ready?
551
00:48:47,185 --> 00:48:48,273
There we are.
552
00:48:48,447 --> 00:48:50,623
That fun?
553
00:48:50,797 --> 00:48:53,017
- That'’s good for you.
- Yeah.
554
00:49:06,378 --> 00:49:07,945
Hey,
I'’d like to be in his shape.
555
00:49:31,316 --> 00:49:34,232
All right, all right, let'’s go,
I'’m on a lunch break.
556
00:49:39,933 --> 00:49:43,589
Hey, wait!
557
00:49:43,763 --> 00:49:47,723
Oh, ja, ja, we are now
relaxing, and we will...
558
00:49:47,897 --> 00:49:49,247
Are you new here?
559
00:49:49,421 --> 00:49:50,944
Start the Turkish massage.
560
00:49:51,118 --> 00:49:54,600
- Just relax your whole
muscle...
- Hey...
561
00:49:54,774 --> 00:49:57,385
Here, here.
No, no, as you see...
562
00:49:57,559 --> 00:50:00,301
Now, just relax.
We will start here
563
00:50:00,475 --> 00:50:03,435
with the deltoid muscle,
which is the only muscle
564
00:50:03,609 --> 00:50:05,219
which has to help you...
565
00:50:05,393 --> 00:50:06,873
- You got to relax.
- What are you...?
566
00:50:06,916 --> 00:50:08,875
Please, quiet.
567
00:50:09,049 --> 00:50:13,314
We are relaxing here ze muscle,
and we see that the blood
568
00:50:13,488 --> 00:50:16,143
- is always stimulated...
- Hey! Hey!
569
00:50:17,971 --> 00:50:19,799
Relax.
570
00:50:19,973 --> 00:50:21,496
Please turn.
571
00:50:22,932 --> 00:50:24,282
Wait!
572
00:50:24,456 --> 00:50:25,587
Relaxing all the muscles.
573
00:50:25,761 --> 00:50:29,026
You'’re fine, fine. It'’s okay.
574
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:30,375
Hey, look...
575
00:50:30,549 --> 00:50:32,551
Yeah, ja.
576
00:50:32,725 --> 00:50:37,034
The whole purpose of the
massage is always to relax
the blood supply
577
00:50:37,208 --> 00:50:39,688
which is coming in from ze
heart,
578
00:50:39,862 --> 00:50:42,474
- down to the pulmonary
instigators...
- Yeah...
579
00:50:42,648 --> 00:50:45,607
which will have always
with the stimulation.
580
00:50:45,781 --> 00:50:47,957
Now if you will then relax...
581
00:50:48,132 --> 00:50:49,959
Please, please, one minute.
582
00:50:50,134 --> 00:50:53,615
We have to take off here.
We start with the stimulation.
583
00:50:56,531 --> 00:50:58,403
Relax, relaxing?
584
00:51:03,712 --> 00:51:06,019
Please. Please.
Breathe, please.
585
00:51:07,716 --> 00:51:10,589
Ah, we have set it.
586
00:51:10,763 --> 00:51:12,765
You are tensing all ze muscles.
587
00:51:12,939 --> 00:51:16,334
Please, relax, relax.
588
00:51:16,508 --> 00:51:20,120
Do not tense.
Do not tense your muscles.
589
00:51:20,294 --> 00:51:23,558
And we have here...
590
00:51:26,561 --> 00:51:29,173
No biting, please!
591
00:51:29,347 --> 00:51:33,046
Now, have a little alcohol.
There we are!
592
00:51:33,220 --> 00:51:34,787
We are relaxing here.
593
00:51:34,961 --> 00:51:37,094
When we start with
your whole muscles,
594
00:51:37,268 --> 00:51:39,835
which lead into ze nerve supply.
595
00:51:40,009 --> 00:51:41,576
And we...
596
00:51:43,622 --> 00:51:45,102
stimulate your whole...
597
00:51:45,276 --> 00:51:47,539
And we have let...
598
00:51:49,845 --> 00:51:54,502
The sinus cavities,
we are now relaxing
the whole sinus cavities.
599
00:51:54,676 --> 00:51:56,591
Yes.
600
00:51:56,765 --> 00:51:58,419
Please...
601
00:51:58,593 --> 00:52:02,031
Please, whoops, please!
You are spilling the alcohol!
602
00:52:02,206 --> 00:52:05,339
For heaven'’s sake.
Relax, tensing.
603
00:52:05,513 --> 00:52:07,776
And we have to relax.
604
00:52:07,950 --> 00:52:09,822
We have here...
605
00:52:09,996 --> 00:52:14,218
We have... oh, you must be
on the diet.
606
00:52:14,392 --> 00:52:16,568
Now, lift here.
607
00:52:16,742 --> 00:52:19,658
That'’s it.
Here we are, you like it.
608
00:52:19,832 --> 00:52:24,402
You can'’t move! Oh!
609
00:52:24,576 --> 00:52:29,233
Must not release all the
alcohol. Yes, you likes...
610
00:52:29,407 --> 00:52:30,799
In the cavity, there.
611
00:52:31,974 --> 00:52:34,412
This is nice.
Now...
612
00:52:34,586 --> 00:52:37,371
Massage with rhythm.
613
00:52:37,545 --> 00:52:41,158
When you are massaging with
rhythm, stimulates the whole
flow
614
00:52:41,332 --> 00:52:42,942
of the circulatory system.
615
00:52:43,116 --> 00:52:44,291
Don'’t drink that.
616
00:52:46,511 --> 00:52:47,903
We must do the whole thing.
617
00:52:48,077 --> 00:52:49,166
Hey, fella, what...
618
00:52:49,340 --> 00:52:51,211
Whole thing.
You'’re tensing!
619
00:52:51,385 --> 00:52:52,995
I'’m not...
620
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:55,041
You are tensing.
621
00:52:55,215 --> 00:52:57,696
Yes, don'’t tense.
622
00:52:57,870 --> 00:53:01,090
You hear something?
That'’s here, we are loosing
all ze muscles on the back.
623
00:53:01,265 --> 00:53:05,225
Now to dry, a little powder.
624
00:53:08,707 --> 00:53:12,711
Relax, yes. All the sneezing.
625
00:53:12,885 --> 00:53:15,844
Please, please.
626
00:53:17,498 --> 00:53:19,761
We are relaxing a little more.
627
00:53:21,807 --> 00:53:25,376
Do you hear something?
628
00:53:25,550 --> 00:53:29,075
Relax, we make a little
alcohol cookie paste.
629
00:53:29,249 --> 00:53:32,034
And we fold over.
630
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:35,603
Now, think nice thoughts.
631
00:53:35,777 --> 00:53:39,868
Let me turn over, will you?
What is this?
632
00:53:40,042 --> 00:53:42,871
Where did you ever learn
how to... wait!
What kind of a...
633
00:53:47,398 --> 00:53:49,138
Hey! Let me out of here!
634
00:53:56,450 --> 00:54:00,672
Let me out of here.
I gotta get out.
I gotta get back to work.
635
00:54:00,846 --> 00:54:03,544
Whoa, let me out of here!
636
00:54:09,115 --> 00:54:11,117
- Where'’s Klenk.
- I don'’t know.
637
00:54:11,291 --> 00:54:13,380
- What do you mean
you don'’t know?
- I don'’t know.
638
00:54:13,554 --> 00:54:16,122
- I thought I told you
to stick with him.
- I can'’t do everything
639
00:54:16,296 --> 00:54:18,342
around here.
640
00:54:18,516 --> 00:54:21,649
- Down, up...
- Will you cut that out
while I'’m talk to you?
641
00:54:21,823 --> 00:54:24,783
- Wait a minute, where is he?
- I don'’t know,
he'’s a regular spook!
642
00:54:24,957 --> 00:54:27,327
Well, you find him and you find
him right away, you understand?
643
00:54:27,351 --> 00:54:29,067
I don'’t want him out of my
sight for a second!
644
00:54:29,091 --> 00:54:30,417
The freeway'’s only two
blocks away!
645
00:54:30,441 --> 00:54:31,659
- One, two...
- Ma'’am...
646
00:54:31,833 --> 00:54:33,531
three, four, one, two...
647
00:54:38,318 --> 00:54:39,450
Klenk?
648
00:54:51,244 --> 00:54:53,091
Come on, Bea, let'’s get
to the wedding rehearsal.
649
00:54:53,115 --> 00:54:54,900
Maybe that'’s where
he'’s been all day.
650
00:54:55,074 --> 00:54:56,249
Who knows?
651
00:55:28,716 --> 00:55:30,676
Right, you figure out yet how
you'’re gonna do it?
652
00:55:33,373 --> 00:55:34,635
How about the feet?
653
00:55:41,599 --> 00:55:43,557
Asbestos sneakers.
654
00:55:46,343 --> 00:55:48,388
You'’re all class, Mooseghian.
655
00:55:48,562 --> 00:55:51,391
All right, all right.
656
00:55:51,565 --> 00:55:54,655
Now listen, I need maybe
three, four hours to finagle
with the wiring,
657
00:55:54,829 --> 00:55:58,311
and in the meanwhile,
keep your friend Klenk
away from here.
658
00:55:58,485 --> 00:56:01,575
Floyd? Well, of course
I'’ve read Floyd.
659
00:56:01,749 --> 00:56:04,685
But honestly, anyone that
would talk about someone'’s
mother the way he did...
660
00:56:04,709 --> 00:56:07,407
- Well, well, Klenk!
- Oh, hi.
661
00:56:07,581 --> 00:56:08,669
Pretty busy day, huh?
662
00:56:08,843 --> 00:56:11,368
Oh, it wasn'’t too bad.
663
00:56:11,542 --> 00:56:15,328
- Hey, why don'’t you and Sugar
go grab a bite somewhere, huh?
- I'’d love it!
664
00:56:15,502 --> 00:56:18,766
- Uh... I'’d like too...
- Come on, you use my Diners'’
Club card, huh?
665
00:56:18,940 --> 00:56:20,986
Or did you lose it already?
666
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:24,424
It just so happens,
it'’s in my purse.
667
00:56:24,598 --> 00:56:27,471
-What do you say?
Dinner'’s on me.
-Oh, yeah, that'’s swell.
668
00:56:27,645 --> 00:56:30,343
-I'’d be happy to go.
-Sure, you relax, you know?
Maybe you pick up
669
00:56:30,517 --> 00:56:33,317
some of your gear,
you come back. I'’d like you
to spend the night here.
670
00:56:33,433 --> 00:56:35,353
Get right into it.
You know, see how you like it.
671
00:56:35,522 --> 00:56:37,350
- Fine.
- Attaboy, Klenk.
672
00:56:37,524 --> 00:56:40,440
Only one thing:
no booze for Sugar, huh?
673
00:56:40,614 --> 00:56:43,182
One martini, she starts
talking seven languages,
674
00:56:43,356 --> 00:56:44,662
all of them wrong.
675
00:56:47,229 --> 00:56:49,406
I'’ll go and get changed.
676
00:56:50,711 --> 00:56:53,322
Yeah, okay.
677
00:56:53,497 --> 00:56:55,760
You keep him out until 10, huh?
678
00:56:57,544 --> 00:56:58,719
That'’ll be a pleasure.
679
00:57:03,332 --> 00:57:05,204
The bride, I presume?
680
00:57:05,378 --> 00:57:07,424
Why, yes, how did you know?
681
00:57:07,598 --> 00:57:10,818
You'’re 20 minutes early.
They'’re always 20 minutes
early.
682
00:57:10,992 --> 00:57:12,907
Oh, where'’s the groom?
683
00:57:13,081 --> 00:57:16,258
They are always 20 minutes late.
684
00:57:18,130 --> 00:57:19,392
Here we are.
685
00:57:21,394 --> 00:57:24,876
Cute!
Very cute!
686
00:57:25,050 --> 00:57:27,618
You'’re right, Klenky,
this is much nicer than
a restaurant.
687
00:57:27,792 --> 00:57:30,152
- Why don'’t you let me take
that?
- No, no, it'’s all right.
688
00:57:30,925 --> 00:57:33,014
Ah, it'’s darling.
689
00:57:35,756 --> 00:57:37,323
Mm, cute!
690
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:50,423
How adorable!
A dumbwaiter!
691
00:57:50,597 --> 00:57:53,078
- Isn'’t that cute?
- Oh, cute.
692
00:58:01,260 --> 00:58:05,743
Um, would you...
would you care to have
a martini?
693
00:58:07,353 --> 00:58:08,789
You bet!
694
00:58:11,792 --> 00:58:13,968
It isn'’t like him, Bea.
695
00:58:14,142 --> 00:58:17,624
Something'’s wrong.
Something'’s really wrong.
696
00:58:17,798 --> 00:58:18,930
Probably his watch.
697
00:58:24,762 --> 00:58:25,893
Hmm.
698
00:58:59,797 --> 00:59:02,974
- I used to do this number when
I did interpretive dancing.
- Oh.
699
00:59:17,902 --> 00:59:21,688
-Why don'’t I cook dinner?
-Oh, no, I'’ll make dinner.
You'’ll love it.
700
00:59:21,862 --> 00:59:25,736
I'’ll go in the kitchen and
make one of the... surprises...
I make, huh?
701
00:59:25,910 --> 00:59:29,957
- Oh, I love surprises!
- Yeah, but don'’t come in
the kitchen until I call you.
702
00:59:30,131 --> 00:59:31,568
I'’ll be right here.
703
01:00:04,078 --> 01:00:05,602
Mm, good vermouth.
704
01:00:18,745 --> 01:00:22,880
May I suggest that we begin
without him?
705
01:00:23,054 --> 01:00:26,405
Usually when the go past 20
minutes, they don'’t come at all.
706
01:00:33,238 --> 01:00:36,850
All right, Mrs. Krubney,
from the top!
707
01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:01,788
Ernie!
708
01:01:04,269 --> 01:01:05,923
Oh, I'’m terribly sorry.
709
01:01:06,097 --> 01:01:09,535
Up here, Mr. Klenk!
Up here.
710
01:01:50,750 --> 01:01:52,772
Where have you been all day?
You had me worried sick.
711
01:01:52,796 --> 01:01:55,146
That'’s all, Mrs. Krubney,
that'’s all.
712
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:57,104
Wanda even went to your
apartment.
713
01:01:57,278 --> 01:01:58,889
Whoa, uh, I'’m sorry...
714
01:01:59,063 --> 01:02:00,978
Kindly pay attention.
715
01:02:01,152 --> 01:02:05,373
-Yes, sir.
-Now then, I will read the...
of you do have a watch, I see.
716
01:02:05,547 --> 01:02:08,420
Are we keeping you from
something, Mr. Klenk?
717
01:02:08,594 --> 01:02:11,138
No, no, it isn'’t that. It'’s
just that I'’m anxious to get
on with it.
718
01:02:11,162 --> 01:02:14,905
- Ernie!
- I mean a bad rehearsal
is usually a good opening, dear.
719
01:02:15,079 --> 01:02:16,471
Very well, very well.
720
01:02:16,645 --> 01:02:18,517
- I'’ll skip the...
- What is your hurry?
721
01:02:18,691 --> 01:02:20,930
- I can'’t explain it now.
- You better explain now,
or I'’m...
722
01:02:20,954 --> 01:02:23,674
- Quiet, please!
- Do you mind getting on
with the essentials, please?
723
01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:27,221
Mr. Klenk, you will have
to provide the essentials.
724
01:02:27,395 --> 01:02:29,876
Now then when I come
to the part...
725
01:02:30,050 --> 01:02:32,400
All right, all right,
you can play it by ear.
726
01:02:32,574 --> 01:02:34,533
Just kiss the bride,
and walk her down the aisle.
727
01:02:34,707 --> 01:02:37,101
Mrs. Krubney!
728
01:02:38,580 --> 01:02:41,801
Not that fast, Mr. Klenk!
729
01:02:45,152 --> 01:02:47,589
Ernie, what is going on?
730
01:02:47,764 --> 01:02:50,204
Listen, I'’ll explain it all
tomorrow.
Just trust me, will you?
731
01:02:50,375 --> 01:02:54,596
That'’s all, Mrs. Krubney,
that'’s all.
732
01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:58,687
What in the world is wrong
with Ernie?
733
01:02:58,862 --> 01:03:02,256
- When he was a kid, there was
this funny yellow light...
- What?
734
01:03:03,692 --> 01:03:06,434
So then he said,
"No, Sugar."
735
01:03:06,608 --> 01:03:10,177
"No more burlesque,
absolutely not."
736
01:03:10,351 --> 01:03:13,746
He said that I was too refined
for that sort of thing.
737
01:03:21,188 --> 01:03:22,711
Maurice Baskerville.
738
01:03:26,933 --> 01:03:29,457
Then, of course,
he was jealous, you know.
739
01:03:29,631 --> 01:03:34,245
I mean, he was jealous of all
those guys sitting in the
front row, staring at me.
740
01:03:35,812 --> 01:03:37,814
It was beautiful
when he was jealous.
741
01:03:52,654 --> 01:03:53,873
Ow!
742
01:04:04,101 --> 01:04:07,234
Wha... I mean, why shouldn'’t
he be jealous?
743
01:04:07,408 --> 01:04:09,628
I'’m not just a brain, you know.
744
01:04:09,802 --> 01:04:10,934
I got a body.
745
01:04:11,108 --> 01:04:13,240
A good body. See?
746
01:04:17,157 --> 01:04:20,682
Hey. You know you'’re
a wonderful listener.
747
01:04:20,857 --> 01:04:25,165
Not like Foots.
Talk, talk, talk.
748
01:04:25,339 --> 01:04:27,689
He never keeps his mouth shut.
749
01:04:27,864 --> 01:04:30,170
He'’s not just a foot, you know,
he'’s a mouth.
750
01:04:30,344 --> 01:04:33,870
A big mouth.
Ooh, what a mouth.
751
01:04:34,044 --> 01:04:36,002
He didn'’t used to be that way.
752
01:04:36,176 --> 01:04:38,178
He used to listen, you know?
753
01:04:38,352 --> 01:04:43,183
I mean, sometimes on a rainy day
I'’d read to him, you know?
754
01:04:43,357 --> 01:04:47,579
I'’d read to him about
Julius Verne, Moby Dick...
755
01:04:47,753 --> 01:04:49,102
all those other Greeks.
756
01:04:50,756 --> 01:04:52,845
And he didn'’t say a word.
757
01:04:53,019 --> 01:04:56,414
Not one word, you know?
758
01:04:56,588 --> 01:04:58,242
It was beautiful.
759
01:04:58,416 --> 01:05:01,332
He used to listen.
760
01:05:01,506 --> 01:05:04,161
He used to lie there and
listen to everything I said.
761
01:05:04,335 --> 01:05:07,207
He used to make me feel like...
762
01:05:07,381 --> 01:05:09,383
I mean...
763
01:05:09,557 --> 01:05:13,997
He made me feel like
everything I said was
important, you know.
764
01:05:14,171 --> 01:05:17,870
I mean, what we had,
togetherness, you know...
765
01:05:18,044 --> 01:05:20,481
"rappaport."
766
01:05:20,655 --> 01:05:23,702
Foots doesn'’t like me to drink.
767
01:05:23,876 --> 01:05:26,444
He just doesn'’t
like me to drink.
768
01:05:26,618 --> 01:05:27,836
Hmm. That'’s silly.
769
01:05:30,100 --> 01:05:32,885
He just doesn'’t think I
can handle it. I don'’t know...
770
01:05:53,645 --> 01:05:56,517
Here I am giving away all this
talk to a stranger.
771
01:06:45,697 --> 01:06:47,351
Ah!
The purse!
772
01:07:01,843 --> 01:07:05,325
-Now what'’s going on Ernie?
What is going on?
-Lucy!
773
01:07:05,499 --> 01:07:09,329
What are you doing here? Don'’t
you know it'’s bad luck for the
grime to see the brood?
774
01:07:09,503 --> 01:07:12,767
- The bride to see the groom?
- Oh, that'’s the bride, Ernie,
the bride!
775
01:07:12,941 --> 01:07:16,032
Now you tell me where you'’ve
been all day, and explain this
Mexico trip.
776
01:07:16,206 --> 01:07:19,035
- Mexico?
- What about the cottage
we picked out at Carmel?
777
01:07:19,209 --> 01:07:21,609
Maybe you'’ve forgotten how we
felt about it, but I haven'’t.
778
01:07:21,776 --> 01:07:24,040
And it means more
to me than tequila.
779
01:07:24,214 --> 01:07:27,391
- Tequila? What are
you talking about?
- What am I talking about?
780
01:07:27,565 --> 01:07:30,002
Now stop pretending, Ernie.
I know where the
body'’s buried!
781
01:07:30,176 --> 01:07:31,351
You do?
782
01:07:40,665 --> 01:07:43,755
Operator. Get me
the police, quick!
783
01:07:43,929 --> 01:07:48,325
Never mind who I am. There'’s
a dumb body in my dead waiter.
784
01:07:48,499 --> 01:07:51,458
Uh, look, honey, why don'’t you
let me fix you something and...
785
01:07:51,632 --> 01:07:54,437
No, no, no, sweetheart,
you stay right here, and I'’ll
get a little something
786
01:07:54,461 --> 01:07:57,377
to help calm your nerves.
787
01:07:57,551 --> 01:08:00,424
But I don'’t need
anything to calm my nerves.
788
01:08:00,598 --> 01:08:03,383
All I need is a simple answer
to a simple question.
789
01:08:03,557 --> 01:08:05,124
Why aren'’t we going to Carmel?
790
01:08:05,298 --> 01:08:08,127
I don'’t know, why aren'’t
we going to Carmel?
791
01:08:11,739 --> 01:08:13,611
Honey, what'’s that funny sound?
792
01:08:26,493 --> 01:08:29,540
Eh, a sound?
What sound?
793
01:08:29,714 --> 01:08:35,111
Eh, Lucy, honey, why don'’t we
go inside and just talk it
over quietly and calmly?
794
01:08:35,285 --> 01:08:37,939
You'’ve got a case of
premarital n-n-n-nerves.
795
01:08:38,114 --> 01:08:41,160
- Now there'’s nothing wrong
with my nerves.
- Well, can we go inside
796
01:08:41,334 --> 01:08:43,597
like a good girl, I'’ve got so
much to tell you.
797
01:08:43,771 --> 01:08:46,818
You wanna get away from it all,
you just press a little button
and down comes
798
01:08:46,992 --> 01:08:51,214
a private little room.
I'’ll show you.
799
01:09:00,048 --> 01:09:01,137
Hmm?
800
01:09:01,311 --> 01:09:03,748
Man, like, who is it?
801
01:09:03,922 --> 01:09:06,446
That is the Goddess
of the Shaft.
802
01:09:06,620 --> 01:09:07,752
Honest?
803
01:09:20,068 --> 01:09:23,637
- Now where'’ve you
been all day?
- Oh, holy smoke.
804
01:09:23,811 --> 01:09:25,770
You just reminded me.
805
01:09:25,944 --> 01:09:28,575
Look, honey, some of the fellas
are throwing a bachelor party
for me
806
01:09:28,599 --> 01:09:31,645
and, I-I-I kind of
promised I'’d be there.
807
01:09:31,819 --> 01:09:35,040
And, uh, gee, I'’m late already.
808
01:09:35,214 --> 01:09:39,958
- Would you mind very much if...
- Of course not. This is your
night to howl.
809
01:09:40,132 --> 01:09:42,569
Hmm, aren'’t you a good girl.
810
01:09:49,750 --> 01:09:51,012
Ugh!
811
01:09:56,975 --> 01:09:59,282
Eh, eh, eh, tomorrow, Lucy.
812
01:09:59,456 --> 01:10:01,066
- Tomorrow.
- Yes.
813
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:03,416
- Still seems like a dream.
- Yes, tomorrow.
814
01:10:03,590 --> 01:10:06,419
Get inside.
You'’re a good girl.
815
01:10:06,593 --> 01:10:09,205
Now you take care of my
little girl, will you, Bea?
816
01:10:09,379 --> 01:10:11,337
- You take care of
that cold, Ernie.
- Okay, bye.
817
01:10:11,511 --> 01:10:12,730
Bye, darling.
818
01:10:23,871 --> 01:10:26,744
Drink, oh, goddess of the shaft.
819
01:10:32,271 --> 01:10:33,620
Foots!
820
01:10:35,056 --> 01:10:37,494
What a mouth. Ugh.
821
01:10:49,288 --> 01:10:50,942
Where are you?
822
01:10:51,116 --> 01:10:52,726
The purse.
The card.
823
01:11:09,221 --> 01:11:12,050
- Were you invited?
- Did you find a redhead in
your dumbwaiter tonight?
824
01:11:12,224 --> 01:11:15,575
You were invited. Come on in.
This way. On the ground.
825
01:11:15,749 --> 01:11:20,624
This is the way
the world ends, not with a bang
but a weeding fork.
826
01:11:20,798 --> 01:11:25,019
Once more unto the breach
dear cooks, once more...
827
01:11:25,193 --> 01:11:31,199
or close the wall up with our
boy scout hockey team.
828
01:11:31,374 --> 01:11:33,898
So keen once seen,
829
01:11:34,072 --> 01:11:39,251
that sweeny among
the nightingales
is Scandinavian twilight
830
01:11:39,425 --> 01:11:42,036
viewed by an ostrich.
831
01:11:42,210 --> 01:11:44,952
Oh, coo no more.
832
01:11:45,126 --> 01:11:48,173
- Coo-coo, coo-coo.
- Coo-coo!
833
01:11:48,347 --> 01:11:49,914
Then break,
834
01:11:50,088 --> 01:11:54,310
oh, break upon my cold,
gray gallstones.
835
01:11:54,484 --> 01:11:56,137
Oh, sea.
836
01:11:56,312 --> 01:12:02,535
Oh, wash your murky depths up
to my very armpits.
837
01:12:02,709 --> 01:12:07,497
In the mature male...
and the mature female...
838
01:12:08,889 --> 01:12:10,587
Why look, you...
839
01:12:10,761 --> 01:12:16,593
down at the cosmic laundry,
a cabalistic conclave of souls
840
01:12:16,767 --> 01:12:20,031
starched and damply intent,
841
01:12:20,205 --> 01:12:25,906
are ready for the wringer,
Charlie, ready for
the swinger.
842
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:31,042
Oh, oh, oh, that
Rembrandt twist.
843
01:12:31,216 --> 01:12:34,262
Van Gogh...
Lautrec...
844
01:12:34,437 --> 01:12:37,744
- Big man.
- Hmm...
845
01:12:37,918 --> 01:12:40,312
I thin again,
846
01:12:40,486 --> 01:12:44,795
and when to the sessions
of sweet silent thought,
847
01:12:44,969 --> 01:12:49,277
I summon up a belt to make
the very welcome crack...
848
01:13:04,249 --> 01:13:05,685
Sugar!
849
01:13:05,859 --> 01:13:07,470
Hi!
850
01:13:07,644 --> 01:13:09,907
Sugar, where'’s your purse?
851
01:13:10,081 --> 01:13:12,625
- In the dumbwaiter.
- No, I looked in there,
it isn'’t there it must be
852
01:13:12,649 --> 01:13:16,566
- in here somewhere.
- No, it isn'’t here, it must
have fallen out.
853
01:13:16,740 --> 01:13:18,829
Sugar, come on, honey.
854
01:13:19,003 --> 01:13:20,831
Oh, let me finish my number.
855
01:13:23,486 --> 01:13:28,142
Be my love you nut, for no one
else can end this burning,
856
01:13:28,316 --> 01:13:29,796
burning, Burnham
857
01:13:29,970 --> 01:13:32,625
with a mystic magic
pre-determined bee,
858
01:13:32,799 --> 01:13:36,716
as in blast heat
and bond with teller.
859
01:13:36,890 --> 01:13:38,544
All right, how'’s it work?
860
01:13:38,718 --> 01:13:42,069
All you have to do is strap
the client in the machine,
861
01:13:42,243 --> 01:13:45,856
and bazoonk, the Sweat Shop
becomes Sodom and Gomorrah.
862
01:13:46,030 --> 01:13:49,076
Only one thing, Foots:
don'’t look back.
863
01:13:49,250 --> 01:13:51,514
Where'’s the button and how do
we get it started?
864
01:13:51,688 --> 01:13:53,820
Button? No buttons.
865
01:13:53,994 --> 01:13:55,866
At the stroke of 11 a.m.
tomorrow morning,
866
01:13:56,040 --> 01:13:57,433
strictly automation.
867
01:13:59,130 --> 01:14:02,133
It was just lying there,
all rolled up in a ball.
868
01:14:02,307 --> 01:14:03,613
It was horrible, just horrible.
869
01:14:03,787 --> 01:14:05,310
Horrible?
870
01:14:05,484 --> 01:14:08,226
Officer, officer. I wanna
report a stolen purse.
871
01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:12,709
- Was the lady naked?
- Teenagers, that'’s who killed
her, teenagers.
872
01:14:12,883 --> 01:14:14,275
Teenagers?
873
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:15,731
Now, you'’re sure
it was stolen, lady?
874
01:14:15,755 --> 01:14:16,843
Where did you last see it?
875
01:14:17,017 --> 01:14:18,802
In a dumbwaiter.
876
01:14:18,976 --> 01:14:21,369
- What was it doing
in the dumbwaiter?
- It was with me.
877
01:14:21,544 --> 01:14:23,284
I see.
878
01:14:23,459 --> 01:14:25,417
- Will my name be
in the papers?
- Papers...
879
01:14:25,591 --> 01:14:28,333
- Charlie.
- Excuse me.
880
01:14:28,507 --> 01:14:31,510
Now for Patrolman Kinley'’s
benefit, would you repeat
where you were
881
01:14:31,684 --> 01:14:33,686
when you last saw your purse?
882
01:14:33,860 --> 01:14:38,735
- I was in the dumbwaiter,
and he put me in there.
- He what?
883
01:14:38,909 --> 01:14:44,523
Hey, goddess, you
forgot your purse. Hey, let go
of the goddess of the shaft!
884
01:14:55,665 --> 01:14:57,362
You'’re hurting my friend.
885
01:15:00,583 --> 01:15:02,019
Put him down!
886
01:15:03,499 --> 01:15:06,893
Order! Order! Order! Order!
887
01:15:12,333 --> 01:15:14,161
Merry Christmas, Uncle Malthus.
888
01:15:14,335 --> 01:15:16,424
Ho, ho, ho.
889
01:15:16,599 --> 01:15:18,078
Dear Uncle Ebenezer.
890
01:15:18,252 --> 01:15:21,560
Baa, people, humbug, Malthus.
891
01:15:21,734 --> 01:15:24,432
Look hellward, angels,
892
01:15:24,607 --> 01:15:26,391
'’cause you can'’t
go home again...
893
01:15:26,565 --> 01:15:29,133
No rock, no stone...
894
01:15:29,307 --> 01:15:33,006
How many times
have we set the wedding day?
895
01:15:33,180 --> 01:15:36,967
I'’ve waited years, Ernie.
Years!
896
01:15:37,141 --> 01:15:39,752
This wedding comes out
Saturday at 11!
897
01:15:45,845 --> 01:15:49,240
- Bee, come on in.
- Hi, Lucy.
898
01:15:49,414 --> 01:15:52,349
I figured you could use a
little help with your gown and
some moral support.
899
01:15:52,373 --> 01:15:54,573
-I'’m glad you came.
-Here'’s your paper.
Got any coffee?
900
01:15:54,680 --> 01:15:56,508
Sure. Black?
901
01:15:56,682 --> 01:15:58,815
Yep. Are you nervous?
902
01:15:58,989 --> 01:16:01,644
Now why does everyone keep
telling me I'’m nervous?
903
01:16:01,818 --> 01:16:04,647
Gosh, I'’ve never felt more calm
and peaceful in my life.
904
01:16:07,780 --> 01:16:08,912
Oh, no!
905
01:16:13,220 --> 01:16:15,353
Oh, no!
906
01:16:15,527 --> 01:16:16,615
Lucy, what'’s wrong?
907
01:16:16,789 --> 01:16:17,877
He'’s in jail.
908
01:16:18,051 --> 01:16:19,749
Ernie?
909
01:16:19,923 --> 01:16:22,403
No, he isn'’t. They just kept
him overnight.
910
01:16:27,060 --> 01:16:28,453
How about that?
911
01:16:31,195 --> 01:16:35,591
Why that... that Bluebeard!
That cheater!
912
01:16:35,765 --> 01:16:38,965
- Lucy, I hope you'’re not going
through with this.
- Now just wait a minute, Bea.
913
01:16:41,466 --> 01:16:46,645
We'’re not being fair or
sensible. Every bachelor party
ends up like this.
914
01:16:46,819 --> 01:16:49,561
They get one of these...
these stripteasers,
915
01:16:49,735 --> 01:16:51,824
and everybody gets drunk and...
916
01:16:51,998 --> 01:16:55,523
well, everybody does it.
It'’s tradition.
917
01:16:55,698 --> 01:16:58,962
Sure, it is.
It'’s a man'’s world.
918
01:16:59,136 --> 01:17:00,224
And what do we get?
919
01:17:00,398 --> 01:17:02,879
Showers.
920
01:17:03,053 --> 01:17:06,360
I'’ve been up half the night,
sick with worry. I checked
every hospital in town.
921
01:17:06,534 --> 01:17:10,234
I almost even called the cops.
922
01:17:10,408 --> 01:17:14,412
Oh, Foots, honey, aren'’t you
even glad to see me?
923
01:17:14,586 --> 01:17:18,111
I missed you so much.
924
01:17:18,285 --> 01:17:21,325
All right, go change your
clothes. You know I can'’t stand
the smell of jails.
925
01:17:21,462 --> 01:17:22,550
Oh!
926
01:17:22,725 --> 01:17:23,856
Foots!
927
01:17:25,118 --> 01:17:26,729
- Foots!
- What?
928
01:17:26,903 --> 01:17:28,078
What?
929
01:17:38,697 --> 01:17:40,090
Forgot my makeup.
930
01:17:41,482 --> 01:17:43,571
Ooh, you crazy beatnik, you.
931
01:17:45,312 --> 01:17:46,923
They'’re out back too?
932
01:17:47,097 --> 01:17:48,359
They'’re all over the place.
933
01:17:50,970 --> 01:17:53,277
Look, the place
is lousy with Feds.
934
01:17:59,239 --> 01:18:01,546
What were you in the hole for?
935
01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:05,028
And now the Gestapo right
in our own backyard? Eh!
936
01:18:07,030 --> 01:18:09,772
Those crummy Feds.
937
01:18:09,946 --> 01:18:12,600
If I cut out for the airport
now, they follow me.
938
01:18:13,863 --> 01:18:14,951
And for what?
939
01:18:15,125 --> 01:18:18,302
A minor charge!
Huh?
940
01:18:18,476 --> 01:18:20,130
Narcotics?
941
01:18:21,784 --> 01:18:22,915
No!
942
01:18:24,308 --> 01:18:25,570
Income taxes!
943
01:18:28,660 --> 01:18:30,270
Why me?
944
01:18:30,444 --> 01:18:32,359
Why do they pick on me?
945
01:18:32,533 --> 01:18:35,580
Why don'’t they pick on
General Motors? Huh?
946
01:18:35,754 --> 01:18:37,582
Why don'’t they pick on Ford?
947
01:18:39,802 --> 01:18:41,107
Ford!
948
01:18:43,370 --> 01:18:45,198
Where'’s the card?
949
01:18:48,593 --> 01:18:50,595
Where'’d I put that
Diners'’ Club?
950
01:18:56,122 --> 01:19:00,213
Hey, hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
951
01:19:00,387 --> 01:19:05,479
There it is! Go get Klenk
and his Diners'’ Card.
952
01:19:05,653 --> 01:19:07,351
Yeah!
953
01:19:07,525 --> 01:19:10,267
I got a lot of orders
to do with that card.
954
01:19:14,706 --> 01:19:16,229
Bassanio here.
955
01:19:17,796 --> 01:19:19,667
Fifteen Avis cars,
same model and color?
956
01:19:20,973 --> 01:19:23,497
Yes, that is strange.
957
01:19:23,671 --> 01:19:25,717
Give me the name.
I'’ll check it out.
958
01:19:26,936 --> 01:19:29,068
Ernest Klenk. Oh.
959
01:19:30,461 --> 01:19:32,115
He works for us.
960
01:19:32,289 --> 01:19:34,291
Mm-hmm.
961
01:19:34,465 --> 01:19:36,206
He'’s getting married
this morning.
962
01:19:36,380 --> 01:19:38,730
I suppose they'’re for
the wedding party.
963
01:19:38,904 --> 01:19:42,212
Sure. Anytime.
964
01:19:42,386 --> 01:19:44,431
Remember, Klenk,
965
01:19:44,605 --> 01:19:48,348
George is sitting there
with a .38 pointed right
at your belly.
966
01:19:48,522 --> 01:19:50,873
So you keep your mouth shut
and sign for everything.
967
01:19:53,310 --> 01:19:55,616
But I'’ll have to pay
for everything.
968
01:19:55,791 --> 01:19:59,664
Never count costs. That'’s the
secret of a long life.
969
01:20:23,862 --> 01:20:26,145
- Where do you want '’em?
- Stack '’em up right there on
the desk,
970
01:20:26,169 --> 01:20:27,561
and Mr. Klenk
will sign for it.
971
01:20:35,482 --> 01:20:40,052
-Are they expensive?
-What else?
It'’s an exclusive number.
972
01:20:43,229 --> 01:20:45,275
Bassanio here.
973
01:20:45,449 --> 01:20:47,364
Heavenly Hot House Florist.
974
01:20:49,366 --> 01:20:53,065
Fifteen bouquets for...
Ernest Klenk?
975
01:20:54,458 --> 01:20:55,676
Yes.
976
01:21:09,212 --> 01:21:11,712
- Where'’ll I put '’em?
- Over there, just pile '’em up
on the desk,
977
01:21:11,736 --> 01:21:13,564
and Mr. Klenk
will sign for it.
978
01:21:18,221 --> 01:21:21,006
Uh... uh... are they expensive?
979
01:21:21,180 --> 01:21:23,661
Never count costs, my boy!
980
01:21:23,835 --> 01:21:26,969
Let me guess.
Ernie Klenk.
981
01:21:27,143 --> 01:21:29,797
No, I'’m not a mind reader,
friend. He works here.
982
01:21:44,943 --> 01:21:48,381
-Hey! What'’s going on here?
Who sent for you?
-Guy named Klenk.
983
01:21:48,555 --> 01:21:51,384
- Ernest Klenk.
- You sure it wasn'’t a guy
named Pulardos?
984
01:21:51,558 --> 01:21:53,299
- Yeah.
- Positive?
985
01:21:53,473 --> 01:21:56,694
What are you trying to do,
make a federal case out of it?
986
01:21:56,868 --> 01:21:58,000
Smart guy.
987
01:22:01,655 --> 01:22:03,309
Bassanio here.
988
01:22:03,483 --> 01:22:06,095
This is Pro Tem Incorporated.
I want to check on...
989
01:22:08,184 --> 01:22:11,970
Fourteen redheaded
secretaries who wear
a size 10 dress?
990
01:22:12,144 --> 01:22:15,060
And he insisted all the girls
have a driver'’s license.
991
01:22:15,234 --> 01:22:18,554
They'’re supposed to pick up
a rented car and drive to a
place called the Sweat Shop.
992
01:22:18,585 --> 01:22:19,978
Ehh...
993
01:22:20,152 --> 01:22:21,719
A wedding or a funeral?
994
01:22:21,893 --> 01:22:23,025
Uh...
995
01:22:24,156 --> 01:22:25,418
Huh?
996
01:22:47,875 --> 01:22:48,955
What do you make of it, Al?
997
01:22:49,094 --> 01:22:50,617
Who knows?
998
01:22:50,791 --> 01:22:52,271
Now you messengers,
I want each of you
999
01:22:52,445 --> 01:22:54,099
to pick up a bouquet
of flowers here
1000
01:22:54,273 --> 01:22:56,754
and wait out in the hall.
Come on now, on the double.
1001
01:22:56,928 --> 01:22:58,234
Watch out you don'’t crush them.
1002
01:23:07,243 --> 01:23:10,724
All right, girls.
Quiet please, ladies!
1003
01:23:12,596 --> 01:23:15,773
Now let'’s conduct ourselves
in a business-like fashion,
1004
01:23:15,947 --> 01:23:18,906
because I got very important
instructions for you, and if
you get it right
1005
01:23:19,081 --> 01:23:22,345
the first time, all of you can
go home early.
1006
01:23:22,519 --> 01:23:25,783
Mr. Martindale?
Claude here.
1007
01:23:25,957 --> 01:23:27,915
There'’s something I think
you should know.
1008
01:23:30,657 --> 01:23:32,442
Thanks, bright eyes.
1009
01:23:35,097 --> 01:23:39,318
Now Mr. and Mrs. Klenk can
take a nice, cozy little
trip to Mexico.
1010
01:23:39,492 --> 01:23:42,321
Mr. and Mrs.
You mean...
1011
01:23:42,495 --> 01:23:44,628
you and...
1012
01:23:44,802 --> 01:23:46,978
Bright boy.
1013
01:23:47,152 --> 01:23:50,547
And at 11:00 this morning
you'’re gonna take
a little trip too,
1014
01:23:50,721 --> 01:23:52,549
from here to eternity.
1015
01:23:56,944 --> 01:24:00,035
All right, take him inside
and get those asbestos
sneakers on him.
1016
01:24:02,341 --> 01:24:04,691
Asbestos sneakers?
They make my feet warm.
1017
01:24:27,279 --> 01:24:29,803
Now remember, stupid,
around the corner, huh?
1018
01:24:41,337 --> 01:24:43,861
-One of these guys is Pulardos.
I know it.
-Yeah, but which one?
1019
01:24:46,211 --> 01:24:49,519
-Come on, let'’s go.
-Hey, wait a minute.
He might be inside.
1020
01:24:49,693 --> 01:24:52,609
What if he isn'’t? What do we
tell headquarters? We gotta
chase somebody.
1021
01:25:03,663 --> 01:25:06,362
Let me go fellas.
I'’m not a cop.
1022
01:25:06,536 --> 01:25:08,407
- I'’m not even curious.
- Shut up.
1023
01:25:18,504 --> 01:25:19,766
Ooh!
1024
01:26:23,743 --> 01:26:24,831
Ugh!
1025
01:26:25,005 --> 01:26:26,224
Ugh!
1026
01:26:26,398 --> 01:26:27,660
Ugh!
1027
01:26:27,834 --> 01:26:29,009
Ugh!
1028
01:26:38,802 --> 01:26:42,284
Hey, hey, stop the car.
Will you stop the car.
1029
01:26:45,025 --> 01:26:46,331
Hey, Paula...
1030
01:26:49,073 --> 01:26:51,336
Sugar, will you stop the car
and let me in?
1031
01:26:51,510 --> 01:26:53,251
I don'’t know how
to stop the car.
1032
01:26:53,425 --> 01:26:55,297
I'’m too stupid, remember?
1033
01:28:04,627 --> 01:28:06,106
Oh, Sugar,
will you stop the car.
1034
01:28:06,281 --> 01:28:07,673
I didn'’t mean it, I'’m sorry.
1035
01:28:07,847 --> 01:28:09,762
That'’s not enough.
1036
01:28:09,936 --> 01:28:12,548
Say, uh... say, "Sugar,
you'’re a genius."
1037
01:28:12,722 --> 01:28:14,027
Sugar, you'’re a genius.
1038
01:28:18,554 --> 01:28:19,685
Ew!
1039
01:29:39,809 --> 01:29:40,897
Wait!
1040
01:29:41,071 --> 01:29:42,594
Wait!
1041
01:30:04,834 --> 01:30:07,097
Klenk, you maniac, what do you
think you'’re doing?
1042
01:30:07,271 --> 01:30:09,316
I'’ve got to get to the church.
1043
01:30:09,491 --> 01:30:12,276
Klenk, I demand an explanation!
1044
01:30:17,673 --> 01:30:20,676
Eleven o'’clock. I'’m late.
I'’m late.
1045
01:30:26,116 --> 01:30:29,511
You'’re riding for a fall,
Klenk, you hear?
1046
01:30:29,685 --> 01:30:32,296
A serious...
Aah!
1047
01:30:33,776 --> 01:30:36,692
Say, uh, "Sugar, compared to me,
1048
01:30:36,866 --> 01:30:38,694
you'’re an IBM computer."
1049
01:30:38,868 --> 01:30:40,628
Sugar, compared to me,
you'’re an IBM computer.
1050
01:30:40,652 --> 01:30:42,741
Say it with feeling.
1051
01:30:42,915 --> 01:30:47,659
Sugar, compared to me,
you'’re an IBM computer!
1052
01:30:47,833 --> 01:30:50,314
That'’s better. Okay.
1053
01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:06,112
The airport. And stay inside
the speed limit, bird brain!
1054
01:31:21,998 --> 01:31:24,435
Can'’t get married today.
They'’re heading
for the airport
1055
01:31:24,609 --> 01:31:25,871
I'’ll explain it on the way.
1056
01:31:26,045 --> 01:31:28,178
Ernie!
1057
01:31:28,352 --> 01:31:34,619
-Ay! Oh!
-I'’m a bridesmaid, Ernie.
I'’m always a bridesmaid.
1058
01:31:34,793 --> 01:31:37,448
Come on, come on, we'’ve gotta
get to the airport.
1059
01:31:41,278 --> 01:31:45,282
Up here, Mr. Klenk!
Up here!
1060
01:31:52,768 --> 01:31:54,160
Klenk!
1061
01:31:55,771 --> 01:31:56,902
Oh!
1062
01:32:05,911 --> 01:32:07,609
The explosion
entirely disintegrated
1063
01:32:07,783 --> 01:32:09,306
the onetime Sweat Shop,
1064
01:32:09,480 --> 01:32:11,200
and in no time at all
it was a blazing ruin.
1065
01:32:25,540 --> 01:32:28,673
- Ernie, to think they
almost killed you.
- Yeah.
1066
01:32:44,384 --> 01:32:45,864
Ernie, you'’re going too fast.
1067
01:32:46,038 --> 01:32:47,953
I know.
1068
01:32:48,127 --> 01:32:49,564
We can'’t call the police,
1069
01:32:49,738 --> 01:32:51,258
maybe they'’ll chase us
to the airport.
1070
01:32:55,700 --> 01:32:58,224
Ah, let '’em go. Newlyweds!
1071
01:33:02,185 --> 01:33:05,362
Now that'’s the kind I like:
a playboy in a sports car.
1072
01:33:05,536 --> 01:33:06,755
I'’m with you!
1073
01:33:10,367 --> 01:33:14,545
- You know, that crazy fool
Klenk was kind of a nice guy.
- Mm-hmm.
1074
01:33:16,939 --> 01:33:19,811
Too bad we had to kill him.
1075
01:33:19,985 --> 01:33:24,729
Kill him? Foots! That'’s
horrible. What do you mean
kill him?
1076
01:33:33,303 --> 01:33:35,697
Women drivers!
1077
01:33:41,398 --> 01:33:44,009
Hey, what kind of dri...
Sugar!
1078
01:33:44,183 --> 01:33:46,055
- Ernie!
- Klenk!
1079
01:33:46,229 --> 01:33:47,665
Ernie, you'’re still alive!
1080
01:33:55,107 --> 01:33:56,456
Sugar!
1081
01:34:08,251 --> 01:34:09,644
Freeways!
1082
01:34:17,260 --> 01:34:20,176
You make a lovely bride, Lucy.
Congratulations.
1083
01:34:20,350 --> 01:34:22,790
- Thank you, Sid.
- I'’d like to thank you too,
Mr. Martindale,
1084
01:34:22,961 --> 01:34:25,007
but particularly
for that promotion.
1085
01:34:25,181 --> 01:34:28,358
Oh, well, the detective division
is obviously where you belong.
1086
01:34:28,532 --> 01:34:30,534
Far, far away from here.
1087
01:34:30,708 --> 01:34:31,883
Well, goodbye,
Mr. Martindale.
1088
01:34:32,057 --> 01:34:33,497
- Goodbye, my dear.
- Come on, Ernie.
1089
01:34:33,624 --> 01:34:35,365
Bye.
1090
01:34:35,539 --> 01:34:38,281
Oh, and thanks ever so much.
We'’ll never forget this.
1091
01:34:38,455 --> 01:34:39,717
Neither will I!
1092
01:34:46,637 --> 01:34:49,422
Bon voyage, Maurice Baskerville.
1093
01:34:55,124 --> 01:34:56,734
Tensing.
1094
01:35:01,260 --> 01:35:03,393
Oh, Ella, I'’m so happy.
1095
01:35:03,567 --> 01:35:04,611
Have a ball, you two!
1096
01:35:04,786 --> 01:35:06,048
Oh!
79146
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