Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:16,414 --> 00:00:19,770
Ben Harper, you are full of surprises.
2
00:00:19,814 --> 00:00:22,886
Mm. And you're
full of something else, Roger.
3
00:00:22,934 --> 00:00:24,970
I didn't know you knew the Mouth Master.
4
00:00:25,014 --> 00:00:27,608
The Mouth Master?
5
00:00:27,654 --> 00:00:29,531
Nope, never heard of him.
6
00:00:29,574 --> 00:00:31,326
Oh, yeah. Of course.
7
00:00:31,374 --> 00:00:35,128
Of course, you know him better
as Jeremy Livingstone.
8
00:00:35,174 --> 00:00:39,406
Oh my God!
Jeremy Livingstone...
9
00:00:39,454 --> 00:00:41,012
Nope, never heard of him.
10
00:00:41,054 --> 00:00:44,364
You must have. He's dedicated
his new book on dentistry to you.
11
00:00:44,414 --> 00:00:46,974
- What?
- Look. Truthpaste.
12
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,084
The man is a genius.
13
00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,886
- Oh my God.
- Hm?
14
00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:53,925
"Dedicated to Ben Harper...
15
00:00:54,774 --> 00:00:57,493
"...for his tireless guidance
and inspiration."
16
00:00:57,534 --> 00:01:00,094
There you are. "Ben Harper". Yeah.
17
00:01:00,134 --> 00:01:02,523
Jeremy Livingstone is my god.
18
00:01:02,574 --> 00:01:05,532
And you, Ben, are his god.
19
00:01:05,574 --> 00:01:08,691
So, that makes you a double god!
20
00:01:08,774 --> 00:01:10,127
Oh God!
21
00:01:11,174 --> 00:01:15,008
- Roger, I don't know this man.
- Maybe you've just forgotten him.
22
00:01:15,054 --> 00:01:18,251
If forgetting people were that easy
I'd find you much less annoying.
23
00:01:18,294 --> 00:01:20,410
He is doing a book signing
later tonight.
24
00:01:20,454 --> 00:01:24,493
Seeing him might jog your memory
and with Susan away you must be free.
25
00:01:24,534 --> 00:01:26,013
So, er, are you going to go?
26
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,172
- Are you going?
- Yes.
27
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,330
Then you know my answer.
28
00:01:31,374 --> 00:01:36,129
(Susan) Dear Diary, today wasthe final day in my exciting quest
29
00:01:36,174 --> 00:01:39,405
to discover Eastern Europe'snext great artist.
30
00:01:39,454 --> 00:01:43,925
But the real excitementdidn't begin until my journey home.
31
00:01:43,974 --> 00:01:47,284
For, while connecting through Albania'sthird largest airport,
32
00:01:47,334 --> 00:01:50,883
I had the most intenseromantic encounter of my life.
33
00:01:52,174 --> 00:01:55,484
Not with her.Please, give me some credit.
34
00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:57,843
Step forward. Quickly.
35
00:01:59,294 --> 00:02:00,613
Not that quick.
36
00:02:01,614 --> 00:02:04,333
My flight to London
has just been cancelled.
37
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,523
Yes.
38
00:02:05,574 --> 00:02:07,405
- Will it be rescheduled?
- Yes.
39
00:02:08,414 --> 00:02:10,848
- When?
- Yes.
40
00:02:10,894 --> 00:02:12,691
Look, I don't wish to be rude
41
00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:15,885
but I want you to book me
on another flight right now...
42
00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:20,530
...Miss Bedvedenkomendenrushkeshin.
43
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,771
Is Bedvedenkomendrovskishine.
44
00:02:25,214 --> 00:02:29,412
An announcement will be made
when the next flight is boarding.
45
00:02:29,454 --> 00:02:33,333
- When will that be?
- When pilot sobers up.
46
00:02:39,374 --> 00:02:42,207
I never should have
let my husband book the ticket.
47
00:02:42,254 --> 00:02:45,803
I didn't know there was still
such a thing as peasant class.
48
00:02:52,534 --> 00:02:54,968
No, he's stolen my handbag!
Help! Help! Stop!
49
00:02:55,014 --> 00:02:57,608
(Shouts angrily in Albanian)
50
00:02:59,854 --> 00:03:02,414
(American accent) Here you go.
51
00:03:02,454 --> 00:03:05,173
- What did you say to him?
- My Albanian is a little rusty.
52
00:03:05,214 --> 00:03:07,250
It was either,
"Try it and you'll regret it,"
53
00:03:07,294 --> 00:03:09,569
or, "Let's make love like warthogs."
54
00:03:09,614 --> 00:03:12,526
Both work equally well, actually.
55
00:03:12,574 --> 00:03:15,213
You look a little shaken up.
Sit over here.
56
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,773
Lean on me.
57
00:03:23,894 --> 00:03:26,010
Did I tell you he was romantic?
58
00:03:28,254 --> 00:03:29,448
What are you doing?
59
00:03:29,494 --> 00:03:32,088
I'm looking for a man
named Jeremy Livingstone.
60
00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:33,533
Has he been cremated?
61
00:03:35,374 --> 00:03:38,366
For your information
he's dedicated a book to me.
62
00:03:38,414 --> 00:03:42,009
- Is it a horror novel?
- It's a book on dentistry.
63
00:03:42,054 --> 00:03:44,045
Roger gave me his copy.
64
00:03:44,094 --> 00:03:46,528
Michael, Michael, Michael, read that.
65
00:03:47,574 --> 00:03:51,487
"To Ben Harper for his
tireless guidance and inspiration."
66
00:03:53,694 --> 00:03:55,571
How much rent
do you pay to live here, Alfie?
67
00:03:56,614 --> 00:03:57,808
Oh, what a buzz kill.
68
00:03:57,854 --> 00:03:59,367
Don't be so surprised.
69
00:03:59,414 --> 00:04:01,006
When I make a friend
70
00:04:01,054 --> 00:04:05,127
a bond is forged that nothing, nothing,
nothing can sever.
71
00:04:05,174 --> 00:04:07,529
- So, how do you know this guy?
- Search me.
72
00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:14,934
I'm hoping to find the answer in this.
My treasured box of possessions.
73
00:04:14,974 --> 00:04:17,772
Oh, so many happy memories.
74
00:04:17,814 --> 00:04:20,931
Oh-ho! Look at this!
My dental college diploma.
75
00:04:20,974 --> 00:04:23,693
Your birth certificate.
Janey's birth certificate.
76
00:04:23,734 --> 00:04:26,328
Oh, Nick's note
saying he was leaving for good.
77
00:04:29,414 --> 00:04:31,211
Great days. Great days.
78
00:04:32,214 --> 00:04:35,172
Hang on, dental... Dental college.
79
00:04:35,214 --> 00:04:37,205
Yes, of course! Jez!
80
00:04:37,254 --> 00:04:39,085
Jez! Jeremy Livingstone!
81
00:04:39,134 --> 00:04:41,125
- Oh, you found him, then.
- Yes.
82
00:04:41,174 --> 00:04:46,043
Jez and I graduated from the same
dental college in 19... never mind.
83
00:04:46,094 --> 00:04:48,528
Anyway, Jez and I were proper mates.
84
00:04:48,574 --> 00:04:51,327
Yeah, I always made sure
we sat together in the same class.
85
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:54,127
- Because you copied off him?
- Bingo.
86
00:04:54,174 --> 00:04:57,564
- Sounds like your type of mate.
- He never knew, I was subtle.
87
00:04:57,614 --> 00:05:01,289
Although, to think that man
has dedicated a book to me.
88
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,484
Oh, I wish your mother
was here to see this, Mikey.
89
00:05:03,534 --> 00:05:07,527
She'd be very impressed, then she'd point out
Jeremy lives in a mansion
90
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:11,123
while you make do in a creaky house
you couldn't afford at today's prices.
91
00:05:11,174 --> 00:05:15,964
While Jeremy has got celebrity patients
like Ewan McGregor and...
92
00:05:16,014 --> 00:05:18,050
- Keira Knightley.
...Keira Knightley.
93
00:05:18,094 --> 00:05:21,166
You're just a cog in the machine
that is the Cavitex Corporation.
94
00:05:22,734 --> 00:05:25,806
Yeah... I wish Mum were here
to see this too.
95
00:05:28,974 --> 00:05:30,293
(Susan) Dear Diary,
96
00:05:30,334 --> 00:05:32,529
as that magical evening went on
97
00:05:32,574 --> 00:05:36,453
I became ever more enchantedwith my handsome American stranger.
98
00:05:36,494 --> 00:05:39,770
Well, I mean...(Dreamily)... just look at him.
99
00:05:39,814 --> 00:05:41,770
Because I landed spread-eagled
100
00:05:41,814 --> 00:05:44,931
it cost me sixth place
in the Chiswick ballroom dance off.
101
00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:49,324
That story is so amazing
it must be true.
102
00:05:49,374 --> 00:05:53,890
Oh, Susan, I love your giggle.
Do you always giggle this much?
103
00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:55,333
No.
104
00:05:57,214 --> 00:06:00,012
But I've done all the talking so far.
105
00:06:00,054 --> 00:06:01,612
So, why are you off to London?
106
00:06:01,654 --> 00:06:03,007
For a little R and R.
107
00:06:03,054 --> 00:06:05,124
I volunteer
for Doctors Without Borders.
108
00:06:05,174 --> 00:06:07,404
I was here helping out
at the children's hospital.
109
00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,843
How wonderful of you.
110
00:06:09,894 --> 00:06:12,283
Charity is in my blood, I suppose.
111
00:06:12,334 --> 00:06:15,087
I was even doing charity work
in my previous life.
112
00:06:15,134 --> 00:06:16,852
And, what was that?
113
00:06:16,894 --> 00:06:18,885
I was an underwear model.
114
00:06:20,774 --> 00:06:22,571
I thought you looked familiar.
115
00:06:23,734 --> 00:06:29,047
I think I bought a pack of underwear with you
on it for my husband.
116
00:06:29,094 --> 00:06:30,447
He made me take them back.
117
00:06:31,894 --> 00:06:34,010
But I kept the box.
118
00:06:34,054 --> 00:06:37,842
I didn't want to be an underwear model
but it paid for medical school.
119
00:06:38,854 --> 00:06:41,766
There's not much money
in being an Olympic decathlete.
120
00:06:43,174 --> 00:06:46,211
You poor, poor, extremely fit thing.
121
00:06:47,654 --> 00:06:48,882
(Susan) It was at that moment
122
00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:52,449
that I decided to tell him aboutmy husband and my life in London.
123
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:55,046
Yeah, rightl
124
00:06:57,014 --> 00:06:58,606
(Doorbell)
125
00:06:59,614 --> 00:07:01,764
If that's you, Roger,
you can ring the bell again.
126
00:07:01,814 --> 00:07:04,851
- (Ringing continues)
- Sorry, no one's home.
127
00:07:05,894 --> 00:07:08,806
Oh, sorry, Ben.
I think your doorbell's broken.
128
00:07:08,854 --> 00:07:10,890
Yes. So is the lock, apparently.
129
00:07:10,934 --> 00:07:15,007
I was just passing by after the book signing.
Oh, it was all terrific fun.
130
00:07:15,054 --> 00:07:17,727
Jeremy was very entertaining. In fact...
131
00:07:17,774 --> 00:07:22,245
Oh, spare me the details, Roger.
The man is a top class, grade-A berk.
132
00:07:22,294 --> 00:07:23,886
I don't want anything to do with him.
133
00:07:23,934 --> 00:07:25,128
As far as I'm concerned
134
00:07:25,174 --> 00:07:29,053
he's just an over-hyped, fame-seeking,
molar jockey.
135
00:07:29,094 --> 00:07:30,607
Hello, Ben!
136
00:07:30,654 --> 00:07:34,852
Whereas this Jeremy Livingstone
is a top bloke!
137
00:07:34,894 --> 00:07:37,852
Who anyone would be happy to call a friend.
138
00:07:37,894 --> 00:07:41,250
Oh, this is such a surprise!
139
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,809
Jez! I am so pleased to see you.
140
00:07:44,854 --> 00:07:47,846
I feel the same way, Benjie.
141
00:07:47,894 --> 00:07:49,293
Aw, Benjie.
142
00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:52,406
- Now, be quiet, Roger.
- Yes, Mouth Master.
143
00:07:52,454 --> 00:07:55,491
This is... You were on the...
What are you doing here?
144
00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:59,413
Well, when I told Jeremy
my surgery was above yours
145
00:07:59,454 --> 00:08:02,810
he immediately
called off the security guard
146
00:08:02,854 --> 00:08:07,086
who had me in a choke hold
and insisted that I take him to you.
147
00:08:07,134 --> 00:08:08,283
Is this true?
148
00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:12,088
I wouldn't say "immediately
called off the choke hold".
149
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,722
He is such a kidder!
150
00:08:14,774 --> 00:08:17,334
- You can go now, Roger.
- Yes, Mouth Master.
151
00:08:19,254 --> 00:08:22,644
Well, we, we've got
a lot of catching up to do!
152
00:08:22,694 --> 00:08:24,332
We... You better believe it!
153
00:08:24,374 --> 00:08:27,571
Hey, how about
a spot of dinner tonight? The Ivy?
154
00:08:27,614 --> 00:08:31,493
Oh well, that's great. Great.
But, you know, I was there for lunch.
155
00:08:31,534 --> 00:08:33,809
- My treat.
- Let's eat.
156
00:08:34,894 --> 00:08:37,454
To my good friend, Ben Harper.
157
00:08:38,614 --> 00:08:42,687
Who once said I was destined to be
the greatest dentist in Britain.
158
00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:44,770
I said that?
159
00:08:44,814 --> 00:08:47,453
To boost my confidence before finals.
160
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,166
And I got a first.
161
00:08:50,214 --> 00:08:52,569
Yeah, isn't that funny? So did I.
162
00:08:52,614 --> 00:08:56,129
I can admit it now. I was tempted
to cheat off you once or twice.
163
00:08:56,174 --> 00:08:57,573
Ooh, you...
164
00:08:57,614 --> 00:09:00,447
I knew
how disappointed you'd be in me.
165
00:09:01,454 --> 00:09:03,445
So, are you married now, Jez?
166
00:09:03,494 --> 00:09:06,611
- Yep, three years this spring.
- Mm-hm.
167
00:09:06,654 --> 00:09:09,646
And, the wife? Nice, is she?
168
00:09:09,694 --> 00:09:11,286
Not unattractive.
169
00:09:13,174 --> 00:09:16,769
In fact, you see that woman
reading a magazine over there?
170
00:09:16,814 --> 00:09:19,886
What, she's a bit like her?
171
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,208
- No, it is her?
- It's her.
172
00:09:21,254 --> 00:09:23,893
It's her. On the magazine cover.
173
00:09:25,094 --> 00:09:26,846
She's a model.
174
00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:31,245
Ooh! I see.
175
00:09:31,294 --> 00:09:35,048
But, what about you, Ben?
Tell me about your life.
176
00:09:36,814 --> 00:09:40,204
Mm? Er...
Oh, I couldn't be happier, really.
177
00:09:40,254 --> 00:09:43,007
I married my soul mate.
178
00:09:43,054 --> 00:09:45,773
A lovely, warm-hearted, gentle...
179
00:09:46,774 --> 00:09:48,127
...creature.
180
00:09:48,174 --> 00:09:53,407
You know, we know each other so well
that we barely talk any more.
181
00:09:55,174 --> 00:09:58,086
- Kids?
- Angels, I call them.
182
00:09:58,134 --> 00:10:00,728
Each one brighter than the next.
183
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:03,004
Yes, Nick, my eldest,
he's flown the nest now...
184
00:10:03,054 --> 00:10:06,046
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
what a sad day that was.
185
00:10:07,454 --> 00:10:11,527
There's Janey, my little... princess.
186
00:10:12,734 --> 00:10:15,294
Oh, not a selfish bone in her body.
187
00:10:17,654 --> 00:10:20,122
And then Mikey, my little,
my little son.
188
00:10:20,174 --> 00:10:22,449
He's erm...
I think I'm closest to him.
189
00:10:22,494 --> 00:10:25,691
Yeah, well, he's such
a warm-hearted little tinker.
190
00:10:27,414 --> 00:10:28,847
You're a lucky man, Ben.
191
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,646
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
192
00:10:30,694 --> 00:10:31,843
Another bottle of wine.
193
00:10:33,374 --> 00:10:36,650
Well, I have to say I'm jealous.
194
00:10:39,094 --> 00:10:40,083
What, of me?
195
00:10:41,094 --> 00:10:42,971
You have it all!
196
00:10:43,014 --> 00:10:47,929
Sure, the books and the acclaim
have lined my pockets
197
00:10:47,974 --> 00:10:52,809
but inside... I've got nothing.
198
00:10:52,854 --> 00:10:56,483
I've become a slave to my own success.
199
00:10:56,534 --> 00:10:58,047
Mm.
200
00:10:58,094 --> 00:11:00,449
How can I compare a...
201
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:05,807
...stupid million-pound
endorsement deal for dental floss
202
00:11:05,854 --> 00:11:07,492
with what you've got?
203
00:11:09,614 --> 00:11:11,730
(Croaks) You can't.
204
00:11:11,774 --> 00:11:15,005
And sure, I've got money.
205
00:11:15,054 --> 00:11:17,614
A beautiful wife.
206
00:11:17,654 --> 00:11:20,248
Fabulous home.
207
00:11:20,294 --> 00:11:23,411
But would you swap my life for yours?
208
00:11:25,734 --> 00:11:27,804
Is this an official offer?
209
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:31,812
- Of course you wouldn't.
- No.
210
00:11:31,854 --> 00:11:33,492
You've won, Ben.
211
00:11:34,534 --> 00:11:35,887
And I've lost.
212
00:11:36,894 --> 00:11:38,009
Uh-uh.
213
00:11:42,574 --> 00:11:44,724
Dinner's still on you, right?
214
00:11:45,654 --> 00:11:47,690
(Traditional Albanian music)
215
00:11:57,694 --> 00:11:59,286
Dinner is served.
216
00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:00,528
What's going on?
217
00:12:00,574 --> 00:12:02,485
I took the liberty
of arranging this for us.
218
00:12:02,534 --> 00:12:06,925
I thought you might like to sample
some of the local cuisine.
219
00:12:06,974 --> 00:12:09,772
You truly are the last romantic man alive.
220
00:12:12,014 --> 00:12:13,413
Enjoy meal.
221
00:12:15,654 --> 00:12:17,372
This looks delicious!
222
00:12:17,414 --> 00:12:20,053
Where did you?
Hang on, where is the pig?
223
00:12:21,254 --> 00:12:23,927
Exactly how local is this cuisine?
224
00:12:23,974 --> 00:12:25,009
(Pig squeals)
225
00:12:25,054 --> 00:12:26,772
Oh, thank God.
226
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,009
Wait, has it always had three legs?
227
00:12:31,814 --> 00:12:33,452
I'm not happy.
228
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:37,207
I don't think I have been for years.
229
00:12:38,214 --> 00:12:40,933
But until you came along
230
00:12:40,974 --> 00:12:45,445
no one has been honest enough
or cared enough
231
00:12:45,494 --> 00:12:49,692
or had the guts to open my eyes.
232
00:12:50,694 --> 00:12:55,404
I've got loads and loads of guts.
233
00:12:55,454 --> 00:12:56,853
You do! You do!
234
00:12:56,894 --> 00:13:02,366
You have a way of popping up
at pivotal moments
235
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:04,530
and pointing me in the right direction.
236
00:13:04,574 --> 00:13:06,007
That's what I do, see? I point.
237
00:13:08,094 --> 00:13:11,166
- I'm a good pointer.
- Another bottle of red wine!
238
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:14,643
And get my friend whatever he wants, too.
239
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,686
Jez. Jez, I think they're closing.
240
00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:21,049
Here!
241
00:13:21,094 --> 00:13:23,085
(Ben laughs)
242
00:13:23,134 --> 00:13:25,045
Will that keep you open?
243
00:13:25,094 --> 00:13:27,085
(Jeremy chuckles)
244
00:13:28,534 --> 00:13:29,933
God!
245
00:13:29,974 --> 00:13:33,250
Life is not about teeth.
246
00:13:33,294 --> 00:13:35,762
It's about me and I am...
247
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:41,411
...so tired of being a sellout
to third-rate floss companies.
248
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:44,127
Well, the turn is worming. (Snorts)
249
00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:46,732
Watch this.
250
00:13:46,774 --> 00:13:49,686
What are you? Oh, Jez. Jez?
What are you doing?
251
00:13:49,734 --> 00:13:52,646
- What are you doing?
- Shush. Shush.
252
00:13:52,694 --> 00:13:54,013
Ah, you're there!
253
00:13:54,054 --> 00:13:56,409
Great. Right, right.
It's Jeremy here.
254
00:13:56,454 --> 00:14:00,845
You know, the man
you've been exploiting all these years.
255
00:14:01,894 --> 00:14:05,569
You are nothing but a disgusting and...
256
00:14:05,614 --> 00:14:07,047
Horrible.
257
00:14:07,094 --> 00:14:11,406
...horrible remnant of a life
I no longer wish to live.
258
00:14:11,454 --> 00:14:14,048
I, I am sick of you clinging...
259
00:14:15,494 --> 00:14:16,563
Like a barnacle.
260
00:14:16,614 --> 00:14:21,244
...like a barnacle, thank you,
to my hard-earned success.
261
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:25,845
I want our pathetic little arrangement
to end immediately!
262
00:14:25,894 --> 00:14:27,646
(Chuckles)
263
00:14:27,694 --> 00:14:29,093
Well...
264
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:32,444
Damn, Jez, I mean,
who needs a dental floss company anyway?
265
00:14:32,494 --> 00:14:35,054
No! That was my wife.
266
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:39,253
Ben, I feel so alive!
267
00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:41,091
- I'm going to do it again.
- No, Jez...
268
00:14:41,134 --> 00:14:45,286
I'm going to phone my publisher and tell him
to shove his book deal and then...
269
00:14:45,334 --> 00:14:48,451
No, I'm going to dump the floss people and...
270
00:14:48,494 --> 00:14:50,928
Jez, just calm down a minute, mate.
Hey, whoa!
271
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:54,205
Take a deep breath. Are you sure
you want to go this far this fast?
272
00:14:54,254 --> 00:14:55,653
Yes!
273
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:57,173
To really...
274
00:14:58,774 --> 00:15:02,244
...appreciate what's important in my life.
275
00:15:03,254 --> 00:15:06,690
I need to be as anonymous
276
00:15:06,734 --> 00:15:10,249
and as unsuccessful as you.
277
00:15:11,614 --> 00:15:14,731
- (Coughs)
...very much.
278
00:15:16,534 --> 00:15:18,525
What are you staring at?
279
00:15:19,774 --> 00:15:22,004
I've been drooling, haven't I?
280
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:27,003
Susan, I've seen the sun rise
over the mists of Mica Maca bay.
281
00:15:27,054 --> 00:15:29,852
I've seen the Northern Lights
sparkle above the Manitoba tundra.
282
00:15:29,894 --> 00:15:31,327
I have seen the power...
283
00:15:31,374 --> 00:15:33,968
Just get to the part about me.
284
00:15:34,014 --> 00:15:36,403
They all pale in comparison to you.
285
00:15:36,454 --> 00:15:40,163
When I look at you
I'm whisked back 15 years.
286
00:15:40,214 --> 00:15:41,886
Really?
287
00:15:41,934 --> 00:15:44,323
Next time that happens
take me with you.
288
00:15:45,614 --> 00:15:47,366
There's that giggle again.
289
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:50,724
Susan... come with me.
290
00:15:50,774 --> 00:15:53,083
Join me on my global adventures.
291
00:15:53,134 --> 00:15:54,362
(Huskily) What do you say?
292
00:15:54,414 --> 00:15:56,848
(Sighs) I'm so torn.
293
00:15:57,894 --> 00:16:00,124
You're so gorgeous and yet...
294
00:16:01,414 --> 00:16:02,847
...so handsome, too.
295
00:16:07,254 --> 00:16:09,131
(Woman clears throat)
296
00:16:09,174 --> 00:16:11,734
Is bad time?
297
00:16:11,774 --> 00:16:13,571
Well, kind of.
298
00:16:13,614 --> 00:16:16,572
Bad news. Plane broken.
299
00:16:16,614 --> 00:16:19,526
Ten more hours to fix.
300
00:16:20,534 --> 00:16:22,126
So, what's the bad news?
301
00:16:28,174 --> 00:16:31,291
Thank you
for letting me sleep on the couch.
302
00:16:32,334 --> 00:16:36,327
- What happened last night?
- (Laughs) What didn't happen?
303
00:16:36,374 --> 00:16:38,444
No, seriously. What happened?
304
00:16:38,494 --> 00:16:41,452
What, you mean you don't remember?
305
00:16:41,494 --> 00:16:43,485
I remember making some phone calls.
306
00:16:43,534 --> 00:16:46,571
- Who did I call?
- Who didn't you call?
307
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,286
- What did I say?
- What didn't you say?
308
00:16:48,334 --> 00:16:51,167
- Would you please stop doing that?
- I'm so sorry.
309
00:16:53,094 --> 00:16:54,083
Oh my God.
310
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:58,483
Well...
311
00:16:59,494 --> 00:17:01,724
Thank you for dinner, by the way.
Very nice.
312
00:17:01,774 --> 00:17:05,210
Oh my God,
they'll never speak to me again.
313
00:17:05,254 --> 00:17:06,403
Jez...
314
00:17:07,454 --> 00:17:10,252
I am so sorry. I'm so...
315
00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:16,165
- Stand up, Ben.
- OK, here I come. OK. OK.
316
00:17:16,214 --> 00:17:18,045
You're going to hit me, aren't you?
317
00:17:18,094 --> 00:17:19,925
Hit you?
318
00:17:19,974 --> 00:17:22,568
I'm going to hug you!
319
00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:27,246
That was the greatest night of my life.
320
00:17:27,294 --> 00:17:29,046
Look. Look, look who I rang.
321
00:17:29,094 --> 00:17:31,733
I rang my wife, my publisher...
322
00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:34,486
- Who's this?
- The Chinese takeaway.
323
00:17:35,894 --> 00:17:38,283
That meal didn't fill me up last night.
324
00:17:39,294 --> 00:17:40,568
- I'm free.
- Yep.
325
00:17:40,614 --> 00:17:42,366
I'm going to start a new life.
326
00:17:42,414 --> 00:17:45,372
Thank you for making this happen.
327
00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:48,247
I am precisely where I want to be.
328
00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:53,564
What, you mean here as in life,
not here in my house?
329
00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:59,688
Ben, you are the midwife
for my rebirth.
330
00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:06,249
Well, I'm very very very honoured
and slightly disturbed but er...
331
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,330
Y-You're not having second thoughts?
332
00:18:09,374 --> 00:18:11,842
No! No. Why should I
have second thoughts?
333
00:18:11,894 --> 00:18:15,967
You've destroyed all your personal
and professional relationships, Jez.
334
00:18:16,014 --> 00:18:19,529
You know, you've thrown away
all your money, all the respect...
335
00:18:19,574 --> 00:18:24,090
that you've taken
25 years of your life to achieve.
336
00:18:26,854 --> 00:18:28,003
I suppose you're right.
337
00:18:28,054 --> 00:18:30,966
The important thing
is you're not having second thoughts.
338
00:18:31,014 --> 00:18:32,766
No, I'm not.
339
00:18:34,134 --> 00:18:37,331
And at least
I've got you here to support me.
340
00:18:42,094 --> 00:18:44,164
About that...
341
00:18:44,214 --> 00:18:46,648
and I don't want to appear insensitive,
342
00:18:46,694 --> 00:18:48,173
it's just that I've, erm...
343
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:52,966
I've got a job to go to, you see.
344
00:18:54,814 --> 00:18:56,611
It's my...
345
00:19:05,654 --> 00:19:06,928
(Susan) Dear Diary,
346
00:19:06,974 --> 00:19:09,249
I can't help but wonderwhat my life would be like
347
00:19:09,294 --> 00:19:10,647
with this wonderful man.
348
00:19:11,694 --> 00:19:15,209
If I go with the doctor,a lifetime of romance awaits me.
349
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:18,530
If I stay with Ben, well...
350
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,769
Maybe I shouldn'tdwell on that too much.
351
00:19:20,814 --> 00:19:25,968
(Announcement) Attention!
Flight 13 to London is now boarding.
352
00:19:26,014 --> 00:19:31,725
Those travelling with children,
the elderly or goats may do so now.
353
00:19:31,774 --> 00:19:34,049
I know what I must do.
354
00:19:34,094 --> 00:19:37,006
But I will cherish this diaryuntil the day I die
355
00:19:37,054 --> 00:19:40,285
because it documents my encounterwith an extraordinary man
356
00:19:40,334 --> 00:19:42,370
who has restored my faith in chivalry.
357
00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:44,211
No, more than that.
358
00:19:44,974 --> 00:19:47,807
He's restored my faith in humanity.
359
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,243
- Small problem.
- What now?
360
00:19:50,294 --> 00:19:52,364
Flight overbooked.
361
00:19:52,414 --> 00:19:56,612
Only one ticket left.
One of you must wait till next plane.
362
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,645
- When will that be?
- Not long.
363
00:20:00,174 --> 00:20:01,573
Not sure.
364
00:20:03,654 --> 00:20:04,928
Well...
365
00:20:07,694 --> 00:20:09,730
I guess this is goodbye.
366
00:20:09,774 --> 00:20:11,048
Yep.
367
00:20:12,054 --> 00:20:14,773
I'll never forget you, Sharon.
368
00:20:17,654 --> 00:20:19,053
It's Susan.
369
00:20:29,574 --> 00:20:31,644
And I thought you were the pig.
370
00:20:40,654 --> 00:20:42,133
Is that all you're doing tonight?
371
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:45,132
This is me celebrating, Michael.
372
00:20:45,174 --> 00:20:48,530
I am celebrating
because, for all his success,
373
00:20:48,574 --> 00:20:51,372
Jeremy Livingstone
is not as happy as me.
374
00:20:52,694 --> 00:20:55,367
So, someone being worse off than you
makes you feel better?
375
00:20:58,454 --> 00:20:59,933
Yes.
376
00:20:59,974 --> 00:21:01,532
Ben! Ben!
377
00:21:01,574 --> 00:21:05,692
Stop bursting into this house, Roger!
You don't actually live here.
378
00:21:05,734 --> 00:21:07,292
There's a major crisis!
379
00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:10,770
Jeremy is on top of the surgery roof.
He's threatening to jump off.
380
00:21:10,814 --> 00:21:13,612
Oh my God. I don't believe this.
381
00:21:13,654 --> 00:21:16,373
I really am so much happier
than he is.
382
00:21:17,414 --> 00:21:19,644
The only person
he's willing to talk to is you!
383
00:21:19,694 --> 00:21:20,968
Come on! Come on!
384
00:21:21,014 --> 00:21:23,448
Please, I am the wrong person
to talk to him.
385
00:21:23,494 --> 00:21:25,769
- Why?
- I just ordered a pizza.
386
00:21:25,814 --> 00:21:26,849
Dad!
387
00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:30,330
You know, I can't talk a jumper
off a roof on an emp... ty sto...
388
00:21:30,374 --> 00:21:33,252
- OK, fine. Let's go, let's go.
- (Doorbell)
389
00:21:33,294 --> 00:21:36,252
Ooh, just in time. Thank you.
Roger, pay the man.
390
00:21:39,414 --> 00:21:41,291
(Ben over megaphone) Jeremy!
391
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:44,087
Are you OK?
392
00:21:44,134 --> 00:21:45,806
Ben?
393
00:21:45,854 --> 00:21:49,403
Are you planning to jump from there?
394
00:21:49,454 --> 00:21:52,764
Because if you are I'll move my car.
395
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:57,574
Come up here, I want to talk to you!
396
00:21:58,574 --> 00:22:02,408
Or why don't you come down?
397
00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:04,012
You're going to have to go up there.
398
00:22:04,054 --> 00:22:07,330
I'm not going up there.
The man's off his trolley.
399
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:12,133
It's not like he can hear me, is it?
400
00:22:12,174 --> 00:22:14,734
What bloody off switch? Uh-oh.
401
00:22:18,134 --> 00:22:19,283
Jeremy!
402
00:22:19,334 --> 00:22:22,246
- You don't need that any more.
- Oh, sorry.
403
00:22:22,294 --> 00:22:24,603
Erm, here. Er...
404
00:22:24,654 --> 00:22:26,326
Er...
405
00:22:27,934 --> 00:22:30,448
Don't do anything, Jeremy,
until I come over there.
406
00:22:30,494 --> 00:22:32,564
Here I come. I'm going to come over.
407
00:22:32,614 --> 00:22:35,003
OK, just stay... Whoa.
408
00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:37,363
Whoa, that is so high.
409
00:22:37,414 --> 00:22:39,644
That is so high.
410
00:22:44,814 --> 00:22:46,532
Just have to stay there, Jez.
411
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:48,610
Stay there, I'm coming down.
412
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:59,167
- Is that a pizza?
- That's...
413
00:23:02,134 --> 00:23:04,125
(Helicopter overhead)
414
00:23:16,334 --> 00:23:17,847
No, thank you.
415
00:23:20,654 --> 00:23:24,090
Well. Always save it for later,
you know, before you...
416
00:23:25,134 --> 00:23:26,806
Er, never mind.
417
00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:30,532
I'm frightened, Ben.
418
00:23:30,574 --> 00:23:33,293
Ooh! Yeah. Me too.
419
00:23:33,334 --> 00:23:35,609
Phew, you know, looking down there...
420
00:23:36,654 --> 00:23:39,771
...my entire life
flashed before my eyes.
421
00:23:42,334 --> 00:23:44,609
- Let's both jump.
- No.
422
00:23:44,654 --> 00:23:46,406
No, you've got too much to live for.
423
00:23:46,454 --> 00:23:48,524
You've got a devoted wife
424
00:23:48,574 --> 00:23:53,443
and three beautiful children
who love and respect you.
425
00:23:54,494 --> 00:23:56,325
See, about that...
426
00:23:56,374 --> 00:23:59,172
Jez, erm... I've been thinking, see.
427
00:23:59,214 --> 00:24:04,811
I mean, at that restaurant I might have
overstated one or two things.
428
00:24:04,854 --> 00:24:06,890
- Which things?
- All of it.
429
00:24:06,934 --> 00:24:08,162
I'm not with you.
430
00:24:08,214 --> 00:24:10,284
Well, I wanted to impress you,
you see,
431
00:24:10,334 --> 00:24:13,132
because I thought your life
was better than mine.
432
00:24:13,174 --> 00:24:15,642
Well, we don't have that problem
any more, do we?
433
00:24:15,694 --> 00:24:19,846
No. No! No! Jez!
No, Jez! Jez! Calm down!
434
00:24:19,894 --> 00:24:22,249
Come on!
You have so much to live for!
435
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:25,604
- Oh, like what?!
- Like you are an amazing dentist!
436
00:24:25,654 --> 00:24:30,808
Why do you think, Jez, I encouraged you
to stay on at dental college?
437
00:24:30,854 --> 00:24:33,891
Because you were brilliant!
438
00:24:33,934 --> 00:24:36,494
That's why I cheated off you!
439
00:24:37,854 --> 00:24:39,492
You cheated off me?!
440
00:24:43,294 --> 00:24:45,250
Only for the main exams.
441
00:24:46,294 --> 00:24:49,092
And all of the small ones.
442
00:24:49,134 --> 00:24:51,568
Let me get this straight. You...
443
00:24:51,614 --> 00:24:54,606
You lied to me at dinner
just because you were jealous?
444
00:24:54,654 --> 00:24:56,133
Yes.
445
00:24:56,174 --> 00:25:01,806
And, you sat there and watched me
dismantle my life, brick by brick,
446
00:25:01,854 --> 00:25:03,412
and you didn't say a word?
447
00:25:03,454 --> 00:25:05,172
Yes.
448
00:25:07,334 --> 00:25:12,089
So, at every point in my life
when I had a big decision to make
449
00:25:12,134 --> 00:25:15,843
and I turned to you for guidance,
450
00:25:15,894 --> 00:25:17,168
you lied to me?
451
00:25:19,094 --> 00:25:22,404
Oh, sorry, I thought that was rhetorical.
Yes, no, that's right.
452
00:25:24,014 --> 00:25:25,891
- God! What am I doing up here?
- Jez...
453
00:25:25,934 --> 00:25:28,368
No, no, you tell me
what am I doing up here?
454
00:25:28,414 --> 00:25:31,326
- Jez, I've just...
- (Muttering)
455
00:25:31,374 --> 00:25:34,013
Jez, you see, it's fine. You see?
You see?
456
00:25:34,054 --> 00:25:35,851
You don't want to jump any more.
457
00:25:35,894 --> 00:25:37,373
No. No, I want to push you off!
458
00:25:37,414 --> 00:25:41,771
No, please, Jez! Please, Jez!
Jez! Calm down, Jez!
459
00:25:43,934 --> 00:25:46,767
That's a very well made roof, that.
Very well made.
460
00:25:48,454 --> 00:25:51,844
- You destroyed my life...
- Jez!
461
00:25:51,894 --> 00:25:54,089
...in one night
and all because of your lies!
462
00:25:54,134 --> 00:25:55,772
- Please! Please!
- Laziness!
463
00:25:55,814 --> 00:25:59,489
Please! Listen, listen.
Just listen to me for one minute.
464
00:25:59,534 --> 00:26:01,764
You can kill me now
or in five minutes' time
465
00:26:01,814 --> 00:26:04,567
but just listen to what I've got to say!
466
00:26:06,854 --> 00:26:08,003
Whoo!
467
00:26:11,134 --> 00:26:14,046
OK, what is it?
468
00:26:15,894 --> 00:26:16,883
Sorry?
469
00:26:16,934 --> 00:26:20,244
Agh! I... I've thought of something!
I've thought of something!
470
00:26:23,254 --> 00:26:24,767
Just stay.
471
00:26:24,814 --> 00:26:29,092
You must now focus on the future.
472
00:26:29,134 --> 00:26:31,807
Let's not dwell on the past, OK?
473
00:26:31,854 --> 00:26:34,812
That is not really very original.
474
00:26:34,854 --> 00:26:37,687
I'm not really very smart.
475
00:26:37,734 --> 00:26:40,487
You're just saying that
to save your own skin!
476
00:26:40,534 --> 00:26:42,843
No, no, no, no. Forget my motives!
477
00:26:42,894 --> 00:26:48,093
Look, Jez.
You are a brilliant dentist!
478
00:26:48,134 --> 00:26:50,887
- That's what you said before.
- This time I mean it!
479
00:26:50,934 --> 00:26:53,402
I've got no reason to lie to you now.
480
00:26:53,454 --> 00:26:55,922
Except not getting thrown off a roof!
481
00:26:55,974 --> 00:26:57,805
There is that. Come on, Jez!
482
00:26:57,854 --> 00:26:59,731
You're a genius!
483
00:26:59,774 --> 00:27:01,605
Yes! Yes, Jez.
484
00:27:02,654 --> 00:27:05,566
Come on! You'll quickly
get your reputation back.
485
00:27:05,614 --> 00:27:07,809
You'll patch things up. Come on, Jez.
486
00:27:07,854 --> 00:27:11,972
We'll tell them, tell them that you were under
the influence of alcohol
487
00:27:12,014 --> 00:27:17,805
and under the influence
of a total... git named Ben Harper.
488
00:27:17,854 --> 00:27:18,843
All right.
489
00:27:18,894 --> 00:27:21,647
Trust me, it's not the first time
I've had to do that.
490
00:27:22,654 --> 00:27:25,088
Please, Jez. Please. Come back, Jez.
491
00:27:26,134 --> 00:27:29,809
I guess it...
It takes a lot to admit that.
492
00:27:29,854 --> 00:27:34,609
And you're right,
I have a lot to live for.
493
00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:36,451
Jez, Jez, please, don't do that.
494
00:27:36,494 --> 00:27:40,851
No, I've invested too much
to throw it away now.
495
00:27:40,894 --> 00:27:46,491
So, let's, let's go and talk
somewhere er, lower.
496
00:27:46,534 --> 00:27:48,764
- OK?
- Sure.
497
00:27:49,814 --> 00:27:52,009
Come on, let's get out of here.
498
00:27:52,054 --> 00:27:53,043
(Yells)
499
00:27:53,094 --> 00:27:54,209
Jez! Jez!
500
00:27:54,254 --> 00:27:56,245
(Crashing thud)
501
00:27:57,934 --> 00:28:00,926
Not the best place
to put a pizza, I suppose.
502
00:28:07,934 --> 00:28:12,052
- How's everything going, Mr Harper?
- Touch and go, Alfie. Touch and go.
503
00:28:12,094 --> 00:28:14,688
A lot of damage done but er...
504
00:28:14,734 --> 00:28:18,522
You don't expect to get away lightly
after a fall like that.
505
00:28:18,574 --> 00:28:21,566
- What's the prognosis?
- New bonnet, new windscreen.
506
00:28:25,774 --> 00:28:29,050
Yes, but on the up side I got
a new sun roof, you know.
38323
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.