All language subtitles for My Family - S08E07 - The Abi Habit

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,007 --> 00:00:18,157 - Ben? - Shh. 2 00:00:22,127 --> 00:00:25,119 - It's been a while, you know. - Huh? 3 00:00:25,167 --> 00:00:26,919 It's been a while since we... 4 00:00:26,967 --> 00:00:29,959 What, Susan? What? Talked? 5 00:00:31,767 --> 00:00:34,235 Oh, yes, I suppose you're reading an article 6 00:00:34,287 --> 00:00:37,359 - about marriage and communication? - No... 7 00:00:37,407 --> 00:00:39,363 Yes, Susan, the thing is, darling, 8 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:42,046 that marriage has its ups and downs, you know, 9 00:00:42,087 --> 00:00:46,763 and there are gonna be times in every marriage when we don't talk as much. 10 00:00:46,807 --> 00:00:48,684 (He sniffs) 11 00:00:49,687 --> 00:00:53,999 What we don't need is your female instinctive panic about it. 12 00:00:54,047 --> 00:00:56,607 OK? 13 00:00:56,647 --> 00:00:58,638 It's not about talking, Ben. 14 00:01:00,207 --> 00:01:02,038 It's four weeks since we made love. 15 00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:04,521 - What? - Shh. 16 00:01:04,567 --> 00:01:06,683 Everyone's asleep. 17 00:01:06,727 --> 00:01:09,525 Do you think you could curb your instinctive male panic? 18 00:01:09,567 --> 00:01:12,877 - It has not been that long! - Yes, stud, it has. 19 00:01:12,927 --> 00:01:14,883 No, it has not! Hey! 20 00:01:14,927 --> 00:01:18,044 Aha! There was that time when... 21 00:01:18,087 --> 00:01:19,884 Er... no, that was a dream, 22 00:01:19,927 --> 00:01:24,717 and, er... and it wasn't you, but never mind, the thing is... 23 00:01:24,767 --> 00:01:27,964 Clearly we've lost some of the spice in our marriage. 24 00:01:28,007 --> 00:01:30,726 We're not as intimate as we used to be, 25 00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:34,840 and when we are, it's become... predictable. 26 00:01:36,207 --> 00:01:38,402 How dare you? 27 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,798 Listen, you! Hey! I bring things into bed with us. 28 00:01:42,847 --> 00:01:44,678 The TV remote doesn't count. 29 00:01:46,287 --> 00:01:49,563 This article suggests that in order to spice up our love life 30 00:01:49,607 --> 00:01:52,405 we should abstain from sex for a certain amount of time. 31 00:01:52,447 --> 00:01:55,723 How about five minutes so I can brush my teeth and have a gargle, OK? 32 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,166 It suggests three weeks. 33 00:01:57,207 --> 00:02:00,244 Three? We've done four. We're a week ahead. Brace yourself. 34 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,199 No, no, no, no, three weeks starting now. 35 00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:07,763 No intimacy. No kissing and no touching. Total abstinence. 36 00:02:07,807 --> 00:02:11,197 Trust me. In three weeks' time, we'll both be ready. 37 00:02:11,247 --> 00:02:14,284 - But I'm ready now! - You see? It's working already. 38 00:02:14,327 --> 00:02:17,000 - You want what you can't have. - I can, you're right there. 39 00:02:17,047 --> 00:02:19,117 Ah-ah-ah! 40 00:02:19,167 --> 00:02:22,079 See you in three weeks. 41 00:02:22,127 --> 00:02:25,483 All right, fine. OK. I can go along with your little experiment. 42 00:02:25,527 --> 00:02:28,678 Just stop reading stupid magazines. 43 00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:35,444 (Rusting and sighing) 44 00:02:41,807 --> 00:02:44,367 - Mum? - Mm? 45 00:02:44,407 --> 00:02:46,637 I'm not sure I want to know the answer to this. 46 00:02:46,687 --> 00:02:50,680 What was that awful moaning coming from your bedroom last night? 47 00:02:50,727 --> 00:02:54,276 It was your father, and it wasn't what you think. 48 00:03:03,647 --> 00:03:06,241 What? Not allowed to touch him either? 49 00:03:07,407 --> 00:03:11,719 Here's my tuition fees. Pay it and I keep quiet about the abuse. 50 00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:13,644 This was on the table. It's a note from Abi. 51 00:03:13,687 --> 00:03:15,962 Your names are spelt out in little hearts, 52 00:03:16,007 --> 00:03:19,966 with those little hearts made out of even tinier little hearts. 53 00:03:23,327 --> 00:03:25,477 Oh. 54 00:03:29,727 --> 00:03:31,160 What are you looking at? 55 00:03:31,207 --> 00:03:34,040 Wondering what it would be like to be raised in a normal family. 56 00:03:34,087 --> 00:03:36,521 We are a normal family, Michael. 57 00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:39,035 Help me! My life is over! 58 00:03:39,087 --> 00:03:41,726 Ben! Susan! Abi didn't come home last night! 59 00:03:41,767 --> 00:03:44,440 My world is crashing down around me! 60 00:03:44,487 --> 00:03:46,603 Technically he's not family. 61 00:03:46,647 --> 00:03:49,320 Something's happened! My baby! 62 00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:52,837 Roger, relax. I'm sure there's a perfectly normal explanation. 63 00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:56,243 - It's Abi. - Or not. 64 00:03:56,287 --> 00:04:00,405 She left a note on the little chalkboard the little pig holds by the oven. 65 00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:02,517 Oh! What? 66 00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:06,276 We have this little ceramic pig in a baker's hat that holds the chalkboard. 67 00:04:06,327 --> 00:04:09,046 - He's pink and has a rakish moustache. - Roger. 68 00:04:09,447 --> 00:04:13,235 - I could go home and bring him... - Roger. 69 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:16,563 Anyway, all she wrote was, 70 00:04:16,607 --> 00:04:19,360 "Love you. Goodbye." 71 00:04:19,407 --> 00:04:21,762 (Susan) Roger, get a hold of yourself. 72 00:04:21,807 --> 00:04:25,402 You're not gonna help the situation with panic. I'm sure she's... 73 00:04:27,807 --> 00:04:29,286 ...fine. 74 00:04:29,327 --> 00:04:32,797 She's probably... stuck somewhere. 75 00:04:34,847 --> 00:04:38,601 She'll be back today sometime, I'm sure. 76 00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:44,122 Roger, just go to work and try not to worry. 77 00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:47,045 We're going to get to the bottom of this. 78 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:50,921 Oh, please, Ben! I need your help. I'm going crazy. 79 00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:53,197 I'm not allowed to touch anyone. 80 00:04:54,207 --> 00:04:56,596 (Sniffing) I can smell her bath products. 81 00:04:56,647 --> 00:04:59,286 I swear, I can smell her. 82 00:04:59,327 --> 00:05:01,557 Abi? She's here! 83 00:05:02,207 --> 00:05:04,562 D'you mind telling me what the hell is going on? 84 00:05:04,607 --> 00:05:08,395 - You'd better sit down for this one. - Right, I'll sit down. 85 00:05:08,447 --> 00:05:13,396 "Dear Ben and Susan, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, 86 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:19,761 "and it's come to my attention that I've been called by the... Lord 87 00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:23,361 "to do His work. 88 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,763 "Yes, the Lord. The big guy." 89 00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:29,841 Oh, my God. 90 00:05:29,887 --> 00:05:32,526 Yeah, that's the one she's referring to. 91 00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:36,357 "This is gonna be hard for you to understand, 92 00:05:36,407 --> 00:05:40,082 "but I've been called to a... a greater good, 93 00:05:40,127 --> 00:05:41,879 "and I'm leaving my life behind, 94 00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:44,646 "and I've decided to become a nun." 95 00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:47,997 - What? - A nun. 96 00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:49,446 Why wouldn't she tell Roger? 97 00:05:49,487 --> 00:05:52,559 "I bet you're asking why wouldn't I tell Roger. 98 00:05:52,607 --> 00:05:55,246 "Well, I couldn't find the words to tell him, 99 00:05:55,287 --> 00:05:57,642 "so would you mind telling him for me?" 100 00:05:57,687 --> 00:05:59,405 You've got to be kidding. 101 00:05:59,447 --> 00:06:02,405 - Poor Roger. - Oh, poor Roger. 102 00:06:02,447 --> 00:06:05,120 Can I be the one to tell him? Roger! 103 00:06:05,167 --> 00:06:06,759 - Ben. - What? Sorry. 104 00:06:06,807 --> 00:06:10,402 - He's going to be heartbroken. - Mm. 105 00:06:10,447 --> 00:06:13,484 - This might push him over the edge. - Oh, I bet you're right. 106 00:06:13,527 --> 00:06:15,483 Er... Roger! 107 00:06:15,527 --> 00:06:17,438 Ben, stop it. 108 00:06:17,487 --> 00:06:21,878 This has to be handled very delicately. You shouldn't give him the news. 109 00:06:21,927 --> 00:06:24,725 - Why? - You'll smile while you're doing it. 110 00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:28,601 - I won't. I won't smile, I promise. - You're smiling now. 111 00:06:28,647 --> 00:06:31,525 I'm not. This is not... this is not smiling. 112 00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:35,606 Promise you won't tell him till I can figure out the best way to handle this. 113 00:06:35,647 --> 00:06:39,083 All right, OK, fine. You've taken one treat away from me. 114 00:06:39,127 --> 00:06:41,516 You might as well take this one too. 115 00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:46,722 (Doorbell) 116 00:06:50,687 --> 00:06:52,200 - Ron. - Hi. 117 00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:53,236 What are you doing here? 118 00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:57,200 I just wanted to apologise for last night. 119 00:06:57,247 --> 00:06:59,442 I really didn't want to leave but... 120 00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:01,125 Thank you. 121 00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:03,123 No worries. 122 00:07:03,167 --> 00:07:05,556 Do I... get to see you tonight? 123 00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:07,563 - (Phone rings) - Er... yeah, yeah. 124 00:07:07,607 --> 00:07:10,963 I... I want to, but let's just see how today goes, if that's OK. 125 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,436 I really would like to hear from you. 126 00:07:14,487 --> 00:07:18,241 It would be nice to spend an entire evening with you. 127 00:07:18,287 --> 00:07:21,643 - (Rings) - Er... I'll call you later, OK? 128 00:07:21,687 --> 00:07:24,485 - Bye. - Bye. 129 00:07:28,207 --> 00:07:29,925 (Both) Married. 130 00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:33,004 Why do I do this? I'm not going down this road. 131 00:07:33,047 --> 00:07:35,561 - Again. - I wonder who she is. 132 00:07:35,607 --> 00:07:37,643 I hope she's as creative as the last one. 133 00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:41,839 It's fun to see the word "bitch" burning on the front lawn. 134 00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:47,119 Listen, is there any way you can look up this guy and find out what his deal is? 135 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,920 You have a different guy every week. What does it matter? 136 00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:54,085 No, Michael, this is different, OK? I'm really close to him. 137 00:07:54,127 --> 00:07:56,436 We have a genuine connection. 138 00:07:56,487 --> 00:07:58,955 Fine. Give me his name and I'll see what I can dig up. 139 00:07:59,007 --> 00:08:01,441 (Clears throat) Ron. 140 00:08:01,487 --> 00:08:03,523 Ron what? 141 00:08:06,847 --> 00:08:09,725 - (Background music) - I don't get this. 142 00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,803 You are going to tell Roger here? 143 00:08:11,847 --> 00:08:14,964 I know Roger. He's less likely to react if he's around strangers. 144 00:08:15,007 --> 00:08:17,123 No, I know Roger, and he'll go nuts. 145 00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:20,955 Have a little faith, Ben. The worst we'll see is a little crying. 146 00:08:21,007 --> 00:08:22,679 - 50 quid says you're wrong. - Done. 147 00:08:22,727 --> 00:08:26,003 - Shake on it. - Ah-ah-ah! You're very good. 148 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:29,483 - You almost had me. No touching. - Oh. Damn. 149 00:08:30,887 --> 00:08:33,924 (Growls) You look so good tonight. 150 00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:35,878 Stop it. 151 00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:38,566 (Growls) You smell good too. 152 00:08:40,247 --> 00:08:44,240 - You're like a dog. - (Growls) No "like" about it. 153 00:08:47,007 --> 00:08:50,443 - You need a cold shower. - Hey, can we have one together? 154 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,756 Never mind. 155 00:08:53,807 --> 00:08:55,923 Is Abi here? 156 00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:58,276 (Gasps) Is this a surprise party? 157 00:08:58,327 --> 00:09:01,717 - Um... you could say that. - No, Roger. 158 00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:04,122 Then what's going on? 159 00:09:06,527 --> 00:09:08,597 It is Abi, isn't it? 160 00:09:08,647 --> 00:09:11,115 She's left me for another man. 161 00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:14,557 In... in a manner of speaking, yes. 162 00:09:14,607 --> 00:09:17,201 If I find out who it is, 163 00:09:17,247 --> 00:09:19,556 I will smash his face in. 164 00:09:21,287 --> 00:09:23,278 Well, good luck with that. 165 00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:26,556 Susan, do you know something? 166 00:09:28,007 --> 00:09:30,157 Actually, we do. 167 00:09:31,087 --> 00:09:34,557 Um... how do I say this? 168 00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:37,565 Roger, has Abi ever seen The Sound Of Music? 169 00:09:37,607 --> 00:09:39,802 - Or any Ingrid Bergman films? - Ben. 170 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:43,044 Would someone please tell me what's going on? 171 00:09:43,087 --> 00:09:47,478 Roger, did Abi ever mention anything about being religious? 172 00:09:47,527 --> 00:09:49,006 She has a strong faith. 173 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,277 But when I say religious, 174 00:09:51,327 --> 00:09:53,795 I mean really... 175 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,680 really... 176 00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,285 really religious. 177 00:09:59,327 --> 00:10:03,923 She has been going to this church up the road, sometimes twice a day. 178 00:10:03,967 --> 00:10:08,006 Well, that may have something to do with this whole thing. 179 00:10:08,047 --> 00:10:10,607 It seems that Abi... 180 00:10:10,647 --> 00:10:14,083 has been reevaluating her life lately, 181 00:10:14,127 --> 00:10:19,326 and, well, the church may have something to do with it. 182 00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:22,285 Oh, my God. 183 00:10:23,327 --> 00:10:25,795 I should have seen this coming. 184 00:10:25,847 --> 00:10:27,917 She's dating a priest! 185 00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:32,006 - No, Roger. - But you're getting warmer. 186 00:10:32,047 --> 00:10:33,878 - Please, Susan! - She's gone to... 187 00:10:33,927 --> 00:10:35,326 - The zoo? - No. 188 00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:37,835 - Wales? - No, she's left you to become... 189 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,685 - A zookeeper? - I said no to the zoo! 190 00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:44,606 - She's left you to become a nun. - A nun? 191 00:10:44,647 --> 00:10:47,525 A nun. Yes. 192 00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:49,797 Rog, she, um... 193 00:10:49,847 --> 00:10:52,645 has gone into a convent, it seems, 194 00:10:52,687 --> 00:10:54,962 and, um... 195 00:10:55,007 --> 00:10:56,804 she's not coming back. 196 00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:07,165 - Roger... - (Sobs) 197 00:11:08,407 --> 00:11:10,637 (Roger sobs) 198 00:11:11,927 --> 00:11:14,805 (Sobs and roars) 199 00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:16,519 Aah! Aah! 200 00:11:16,567 --> 00:11:18,444 No more cheesecake! 201 00:11:18,487 --> 00:11:21,081 Aaah! Ohhh! 202 00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:27,676 (Roger screaming) 203 00:11:29,807 --> 00:11:32,116 I have some information about the boyfriend. 204 00:11:32,167 --> 00:11:35,477 - Oh, Michael, you're a genius. - He's got the time, trust me. 205 00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:40,003 Turns out your Ron does in fact have another woman in his life. 206 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,607 - Her name's Elizabeth. - What a pig. 207 00:11:42,647 --> 00:11:45,957 - How long have they been together? - Together for... Hm, let's see. 208 00:11:46,007 --> 00:11:49,522 Your Ron's 29 so, doing the maths, 29 years. 209 00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:51,319 (Whispers) 29... 210 00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:54,245 - What does that mean? - It's his mother. 211 00:11:54,287 --> 00:11:56,676 That would explain his suspicious behaviour. 212 00:11:56,727 --> 00:12:01,005 That's great. He's not married, just close to his mother. 213 00:12:01,047 --> 00:12:03,003 In this day and age, it's not a big deal. 214 00:12:03,047 --> 00:12:05,561 Plenty of men live with their mother until later in life 215 00:12:05,607 --> 00:12:07,996 and they turn out completely normal. 216 00:12:08,047 --> 00:12:09,958 (Roger wailing) 217 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,682 Just calm down. 218 00:12:15,727 --> 00:12:17,445 They sedated him at the police station. 219 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,206 So he took the news well. 220 00:12:20,247 --> 00:12:22,886 - Lay down. - Down you come, Rog. Good lad. 221 00:12:22,927 --> 00:12:27,842 There we go. I'm glad everyone's here. Roger needs our help right now. 222 00:12:27,887 --> 00:12:30,799 We're going to have to watch him for the next few days. 223 00:12:30,847 --> 00:12:33,315 Look at him. He's a wreck. 224 00:12:33,367 --> 00:12:35,198 Wreck? He's pathetic. 225 00:12:35,247 --> 00:12:37,522 This has got to be the lowest he's ever been. 226 00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:40,001 If he was a dog, you'd shoot him. 227 00:12:40,047 --> 00:12:42,117 I can still kind of hear you. 228 00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:47,160 - So who's taking the first shift? - What? Shift? 229 00:12:50,567 --> 00:12:54,162 - Well, let's not all answer at once. - I'll do it. 230 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:57,643 - (Phone) - Maybe I have put my family second. 231 00:12:57,687 --> 00:13:01,316 - Hello? - But sometimes you've got to step up. 232 00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:05,565 - It's your boyfriend. - You guys have this covered, right? 233 00:13:05,607 --> 00:13:09,759 Fine, I'll do it. If I ever got this low, I'd want someone to watch me. 234 00:13:09,807 --> 00:13:12,367 Ah, hello? You have, and we have. 235 00:13:12,407 --> 00:13:18,004 A few years back you got a B in algebra. You were pretty close to the edge. 236 00:13:19,207 --> 00:13:21,960 Oh, God. I blocked that out. 237 00:13:22,007 --> 00:13:25,716 Yes, I know we're doing this whole "Roger wallowing in despair" thing 238 00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:27,439 but I can't do tonight. 239 00:13:27,487 --> 00:13:31,116 Just told Ron I knew about him living with his mum and it's all sorted. 240 00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:36,685 Oh! You are so selfish! Everything's always got to be about Janey. 241 00:13:36,727 --> 00:13:40,481 (High-pitched) Oh, my name's Janey and I've got a new boyfriend! 242 00:13:40,527 --> 00:13:43,280 Yeah, like anybody here gives a flying... 243 00:13:46,807 --> 00:13:49,526 It's all right, darling, it's the medication talking. 244 00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,926 But he's got a point. 245 00:13:54,527 --> 00:13:56,722 - (Yawns and growls) - Ben. 246 00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:59,800 - (Snorts) - Ben. 247 00:13:59,847 --> 00:14:02,042 - Ah, hm. - I need to talk. 248 00:14:02,087 --> 00:14:04,078 (Snoring) 249 00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:09,525 - Ben, this is important. - (Snores) 250 00:14:09,927 --> 00:14:12,441 - Wake up. - (Snores) 251 00:14:13,447 --> 00:14:15,881 It's about the article. 252 00:14:15,927 --> 00:14:19,283 - The agreement we made. - (Snoring) 253 00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:22,285 - I want to break it. - OK. 254 00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:25,444 - It's a silly agreement anyway. - That's what I've been saying. 255 00:14:25,487 --> 00:14:28,684 - Come on! Come on, what time is it? - Five in the morning. 256 00:14:28,727 --> 00:14:33,164 - That's my favourite time. Let's go. - Wait, wait, wait! Are we being weak? 257 00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:35,880 I'm weak all the time. It's no big deal. 258 00:14:36,007 --> 00:14:37,520 We were doing so well. 259 00:14:37,567 --> 00:14:41,242 Yes, look, what are they gonna do? Throw us into sex jail? 260 00:14:41,287 --> 00:14:43,801 (Growls) Sex... sex jail! 261 00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:46,759 - You don't think we'd be failing? - No, no, we'd be winning. 262 00:14:46,807 --> 00:14:50,117 We'd be champions of our own destiny, masters of our own fate. 263 00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:53,045 - Get those pyjamas off. - Way ahead of you. 264 00:14:54,407 --> 00:14:58,400 - How did you do that? - I may be weak but I'm very quick. 265 00:14:58,447 --> 00:14:59,482 - Ben! - Roger! 266 00:14:59,527 --> 00:15:02,883 - Who's on Roger watch? - (Michael) Sorry! 267 00:15:02,927 --> 00:15:04,360 I need your help. 268 00:15:04,407 --> 00:15:07,683 I have to go and see Abi and I'm in no state to drive. 269 00:15:07,727 --> 00:15:10,400 - We can't do anything now. - Yes, we can, if he'd just go away. 270 00:15:10,447 --> 00:15:12,722 Go away, Roger, shoo, go on. 271 00:15:12,767 --> 00:15:16,555 - Please, I have to see her. - The convent is hours away. 272 00:15:16,607 --> 00:15:20,316 - Please, I'm begging you. - Oh, God, Roger, go... 273 00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:22,927 Oh, this is really a nightmare. 274 00:15:22,967 --> 00:15:24,525 Abi is the love of my life, 275 00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:28,606 and I know that if I'm just able to talk to her, she'll come to her senses. 276 00:15:28,647 --> 00:15:31,400 - Please, Ben? - Oh... 277 00:15:31,447 --> 00:15:33,836 Go with me. 278 00:15:39,447 --> 00:15:43,042 Go on, go on, wait in the car. Give me a few minutes, OK? 279 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:52,204 (Whispers) 280 00:16:07,807 --> 00:16:10,480 (Whispers) Hi. 281 00:16:10,527 --> 00:16:12,995 Can I ask what you're doing here? 282 00:16:13,047 --> 00:16:15,038 - We... - I'm here to see my wife. 283 00:16:15,087 --> 00:16:19,478 Yeah, and I bet you don't hear that too often. Or maybe you do. 284 00:16:19,527 --> 00:16:21,916 - Her name is Abi Bailey... - Shh. Roger. 285 00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:24,162 ...and I demand to see her! - Shh, shh. 286 00:16:24,207 --> 00:16:26,163 I'm afraid that's not possible. 287 00:16:26,207 --> 00:16:29,324 She's asked for some time to be in seclusion, 288 00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:32,439 to pray about the direction her life is taking. 289 00:16:32,487 --> 00:16:35,763 Well... Sister, 290 00:16:35,807 --> 00:16:37,843 that's not going to cut it. 291 00:16:37,887 --> 00:16:39,843 I'm not going anywhere! 292 00:16:39,887 --> 00:16:42,959 And I'm his friend and I'm gonna stay by his side. 293 00:16:43,007 --> 00:16:45,680 - I'm going to call the police. - We're off. Come on. 294 00:16:45,727 --> 00:16:48,844 - The door is over there. - The door's over there. Let's go. 295 00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:51,959 - Sorry to bother you, sorry. So long. - Farewell. 296 00:16:52,007 --> 00:16:53,406 - Auf Wiedersehen. - Goodbye. 297 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:56,086 (Bell tolls) 298 00:16:59,207 --> 00:17:02,040 - Roger. - I wanted to see Abi. 299 00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:04,282 - I need your genius right now. - Roger. 300 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:07,205 - There's no... Genius? - Yes, genius. 301 00:17:07,247 --> 00:17:10,842 You always know the solution in these situations. 302 00:17:10,887 --> 00:17:12,798 Genius! 303 00:17:12,847 --> 00:17:16,317 You and your brilliance are all I have left. Now, please! 304 00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:18,722 Roger, this is not something I can just turn on. 305 00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:21,918 It's not easy. You don't just click your fingers and it happens. 306 00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:24,720 - You need a flash of, you know... - Genius. 307 00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:29,238 - Genius, yeah. - Make it happen now. You can do it. 308 00:17:29,287 --> 00:17:31,721 OK, OK. 309 00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:33,280 I may have one idea. 310 00:17:33,327 --> 00:17:36,364 (Sighs) I love you. 311 00:17:40,807 --> 00:17:43,002 OK. 312 00:17:44,127 --> 00:17:46,197 (Door creaks) 313 00:17:57,487 --> 00:17:59,398 All right? 314 00:18:01,727 --> 00:18:03,718 (Mouths) 315 00:18:07,527 --> 00:18:09,722 - Which one's Abi? - I don't know, Roger. 316 00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:11,644 They all look alike from the back. 317 00:18:11,687 --> 00:18:13,837 - I've got to see her, Ben. - Yes. 318 00:18:13,887 --> 00:18:17,004 Maybe they've got her locked up someplace. 319 00:18:17,047 --> 00:18:19,515 I'm not sure that's how things work in a convent. 320 00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:26,679 - Ben, that's her! - Shh. 321 00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:30,003 Wh... 322 00:18:33,207 --> 00:18:35,801 Look, wait, we have to get her on her own. 323 00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:37,280 Right. 324 00:18:37,327 --> 00:18:39,602 We wait until they've finished praying. 325 00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:42,525 - Right. - Right, right. 326 00:18:45,687 --> 00:18:48,520 - Hi. Come on in. - Hey. Wow. 327 00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:51,001 - Mwah! - Mwah! 328 00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:54,084 - (Movie soundtrack plays) - This is my brother Michael. 329 00:18:54,127 --> 00:18:56,721 And this is just some Welsh bloke who lives here. 330 00:18:56,767 --> 00:18:59,156 - I'll fix us some drinks, OK? - Yeah. 331 00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:04,886 - Hey. - (Both) Hey. 332 00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:12,361 - So you still live with your mother? - Yeah, for now, to save money. 333 00:19:12,407 --> 00:19:14,363 No explanation needed. 334 00:19:14,407 --> 00:19:16,238 Michael still lives with his mother 335 00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:19,836 and I'm not even sure it's for financial reasons. 336 00:19:19,887 --> 00:19:22,560 He's just very attached. 337 00:19:22,607 --> 00:19:25,280 Alfie, can I have a word with you in the kitchen? 338 00:19:32,487 --> 00:19:36,002 Listen, I'm sorry, OK? I panicked, I ran out of small talk. 339 00:19:36,047 --> 00:19:38,242 I don't think you're too attached to your mother. 340 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,515 I have to go out for a while. Be good. 341 00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:44,206 Mm! Little choochie-face. 342 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:53,280 What? 343 00:19:53,327 --> 00:19:55,443 I'm not saying a word. 344 00:19:57,087 --> 00:19:59,476 Abi! Abi! 345 00:19:59,527 --> 00:20:01,483 Roger! Ben! 346 00:20:01,527 --> 00:20:03,882 - What are you doing here? - I had to see you. 347 00:20:03,927 --> 00:20:05,679 Uh-oh. 348 00:20:12,727 --> 00:20:15,400 Abi, what is going on? 349 00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:20,123 I'm sorry I had to leave the way I did, Rog, but I had a vision. 350 00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:22,362 You've had a vision before, remember? 351 00:20:22,407 --> 00:20:25,285 The leprechaun dancing on the mantelpiece. 352 00:20:25,327 --> 00:20:29,445 Yeah, but this is different. This is something that I've always felt. 353 00:20:29,487 --> 00:20:32,763 It's been in my soul since I was a little girl. 354 00:20:32,807 --> 00:20:35,719 Rog, this can't have been a shock to you. 355 00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:37,803 I've been talking about it for a year. 356 00:20:37,847 --> 00:20:40,156 - Did you not hear me? - I suppose. 357 00:20:40,207 --> 00:20:44,678 I've been called on by the Lord God Almighty to a higher calling. 358 00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:49,596 I want to give my life, my very soul, to the service of humanity. 359 00:20:49,647 --> 00:20:53,879 I want to read to the blind. I want to feed the hungry. 360 00:20:53,927 --> 00:20:56,202 I want to help the poor 361 00:20:56,247 --> 00:20:58,886 and I want to tend to the sick children. 362 00:21:01,487 --> 00:21:03,478 You selfish cow. 363 00:21:08,647 --> 00:21:11,400 I'm really glad we had that talk. I feel so much closer. 364 00:21:11,447 --> 00:21:15,998 Mm, me too. And I think it's a good thing you and your mother are close. 365 00:21:16,047 --> 00:21:18,277 You've no idea how good that makes me feel. 366 00:21:18,327 --> 00:21:20,887 - (Phone) - Oh. 367 00:21:21,887 --> 00:21:23,718 Oh. Mum. 368 00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:26,884 She's out of town a few nights. She's probably just checking in. 369 00:21:26,927 --> 00:21:29,122 - Well, not tonight, Mum. - (Beeps off) 370 00:21:29,167 --> 00:21:33,399 - I'm on a date. - Yes, you are. 371 00:21:33,447 --> 00:21:35,915 You know, I have to say, 372 00:21:35,967 --> 00:21:38,481 I really am very attracted to you, Janey. 373 00:21:38,527 --> 00:21:40,836 And I'm attracted to you. 374 00:21:40,887 --> 00:21:44,800 (Sighs) And why don't we get more... comfortable? 375 00:21:44,847 --> 00:21:47,805 I think that's a great idea. 376 00:21:59,687 --> 00:22:02,042 Wow. 377 00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:04,521 This feels good. 378 00:22:04,567 --> 00:22:06,319 Yeah. 379 00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:10,155 You know, maybe we don't have to even go out. Maybe we could just stay in. 380 00:22:10,207 --> 00:22:13,677 Would you make me a toasted cheese sandwich? They're my favourite. 381 00:22:13,727 --> 00:22:16,366 And... and would you cut the crusts off? 382 00:22:16,407 --> 00:22:19,160 And... and I like them cut in triangles. 383 00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:21,801 Hey, listen, I've got an idea. 384 00:22:21,847 --> 00:22:24,759 Why don't we go to the pub for a quick drink before the film? 385 00:22:24,807 --> 00:22:27,526 - Er... sure. - Yeah? 386 00:22:27,567 --> 00:22:29,558 Anything but this. 387 00:22:32,127 --> 00:22:35,199 - (Sighs) Father. - Er... 388 00:22:35,247 --> 00:22:38,762 - May I make my confession? - Er, no, I... 389 00:22:38,807 --> 00:22:40,798 Yeah, sure, fire away. 390 00:22:40,847 --> 00:22:46,365 We're married, Abi. You can't just leave. You made a commitment to me. 391 00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:48,318 That is true. 392 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,597 This... this is just a phase. 393 00:22:50,647 --> 00:22:54,322 And these outfits, they're very uncomfortable. 394 00:22:54,367 --> 00:22:56,483 Abi. 395 00:22:56,527 --> 00:22:57,926 Let's go home. 396 00:22:57,967 --> 00:23:00,276 You've gone and confused me now. 397 00:23:00,327 --> 00:23:02,045 Please. 398 00:23:02,087 --> 00:23:03,725 Let's go. 399 00:23:05,847 --> 00:23:08,839 - And yesterday, Father... - No, please stop. Just stop. 400 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:12,800 No more. I can't take this any more. Just... just go in peace, my child. 401 00:23:12,847 --> 00:23:15,520 And what's my penance, Father? 402 00:23:15,567 --> 00:23:18,400 Climb every mountain. 403 00:23:18,447 --> 00:23:22,486 - And have a nice day. - Have a nice day, that's it? 404 00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:25,519 Yeah, and three Bloody Marys for your sins. 405 00:23:25,567 --> 00:23:27,683 You mean Hail Marys. 406 00:23:28,687 --> 00:23:31,565 That's what I said. 407 00:23:31,607 --> 00:23:33,598 (She sobs) 408 00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:38,598 - Oh! - (Both laughing) 409 00:23:38,647 --> 00:23:40,922 - The pub, good idea. - Oh... 410 00:23:40,967 --> 00:23:43,800 Coming back to my place, good idea. 411 00:23:43,847 --> 00:23:46,839 - Mummy's out of town. Good idea. - Mm. 412 00:23:46,887 --> 00:23:50,766 Listen, I just want to freshen up a bit, OK? I'll be right back. 413 00:23:50,807 --> 00:23:53,765 (She giggles) OK. 414 00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,997 Yes, yes, yes. 415 00:23:57,047 --> 00:24:00,005 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 416 00:24:00,047 --> 00:24:01,685 (Sighs) 417 00:24:08,287 --> 00:24:10,164 Hell, no. 418 00:24:10,207 --> 00:24:12,277 (Ron) Quite small, huh? 419 00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:14,682 This isn't going to work. 420 00:24:14,727 --> 00:24:17,525 - We can go downstairs. - No, I mean us. 421 00:24:17,567 --> 00:24:20,365 Can't do it. I have to go. 422 00:24:23,887 --> 00:24:26,481 Or we could just switch off the light. 423 00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:30,206 Come on, we can talk about this at home. 424 00:24:30,247 --> 00:24:34,399 Please. This is really starting to ride up. 425 00:24:35,927 --> 00:24:38,122 - Susan. - Abi. 426 00:24:38,167 --> 00:24:40,283 Have you seen Roger? 427 00:24:41,807 --> 00:24:43,320 - Roger. - Susan. 428 00:24:43,367 --> 00:24:47,485 - Have you joined too? - No, no, we had to sneak in because... 429 00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:49,643 Hide, hide! Er... 430 00:24:49,687 --> 00:24:52,360 Habde annuis avami. 431 00:25:02,287 --> 00:25:04,721 Have you anything to confess, my child? 432 00:25:05,527 --> 00:25:08,439 - I wouldn't know where to start. - Oh, really? 433 00:25:08,487 --> 00:25:10,284 - Ben! - Susan. 434 00:25:10,327 --> 00:25:12,204 (Knocking) Let's get out of here. 435 00:25:12,247 --> 00:25:14,124 Abi's coming with us. 436 00:25:18,127 --> 00:25:21,961 - Abi, is this true? - Well, Roger... 437 00:25:22,007 --> 00:25:25,522 Yes, yes, yes, she's sure. This was all just one big mix-up. 438 00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:28,081 Can we get the... heck out of here? 439 00:25:28,127 --> 00:25:31,676 - Why did you leave in the first place? - I wanted to... 440 00:25:31,727 --> 00:25:34,082 Heal the world, save humanity, blah, blah, blah. 441 00:25:34,687 --> 00:25:39,283 - Do you want to come home or stay? - Well, I... 442 00:25:39,327 --> 00:25:42,285 Because it does seem like you decided rather quickly. 443 00:25:42,327 --> 00:25:44,124 Quickly? 444 00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:46,840 I've been talking about it for ages. 445 00:25:46,887 --> 00:25:49,321 I told you and Ben all about it. 446 00:25:51,207 --> 00:25:54,483 - Doesn't anybody listen to me? - Look, are you coming or staying? 447 00:25:54,527 --> 00:25:58,486 - I've got a car on a meter out there. - Ben. 448 00:25:58,527 --> 00:26:00,597 Abi. 449 00:26:02,287 --> 00:26:04,039 I'm sorry, Roger. 450 00:26:04,087 --> 00:26:06,203 My life is here. 451 00:26:06,247 --> 00:26:08,807 (Gasping) No. 452 00:26:08,847 --> 00:26:12,157 No, it's not. Your... your life is with me. 453 00:26:12,207 --> 00:26:14,163 Roger, I know this is difficult, 454 00:26:14,207 --> 00:26:17,882 but the simple hard truth is that if you love her, really love her, 455 00:26:17,927 --> 00:26:20,282 in a completely unselfish way, 456 00:26:20,327 --> 00:26:22,557 you're going to have to let her go. 457 00:26:22,607 --> 00:26:24,199 Roger, 458 00:26:24,247 --> 00:26:26,715 love me enough to let me be me. 459 00:26:27,447 --> 00:26:29,836 (Sniffs) Abi. 460 00:26:31,327 --> 00:26:33,636 Bye, Susan. Bye, Ben. 461 00:26:38,567 --> 00:26:39,920 (He sniffs) 462 00:26:39,967 --> 00:26:41,923 Love you. 463 00:26:46,967 --> 00:26:48,764 There goes my angel. 464 00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:53,438 (Clunk) 465 00:26:59,647 --> 00:27:01,683 And still Abi. 466 00:27:03,527 --> 00:27:05,995 Come on. Come on, Sister. Let's get you home. 467 00:27:06,047 --> 00:27:09,960 If you don't mind, I'd... I'd just like a moment's peace. 468 00:27:17,127 --> 00:27:19,436 (Sighs) 469 00:27:19,487 --> 00:27:21,682 I do feel bad for him. 470 00:27:21,727 --> 00:27:26,164 Mm-hm, yeah, me too. Me too. Hey, guess what. 471 00:27:26,207 --> 00:27:27,879 - What? - We've broken our agreement. 472 00:27:27,927 --> 00:27:30,122 - We're touching. - So we are. 473 00:27:30,167 --> 00:27:31,964 (He chuckles) 474 00:27:32,007 --> 00:27:36,285 I mean, we could... Cos he could be there for hours. 475 00:27:36,327 --> 00:27:38,921 - I've seen those nuns praying. - No. 476 00:27:38,967 --> 00:27:41,162 - Look at you. - Oh, come on. 477 00:27:41,207 --> 00:27:43,277 Come on, we could just... 478 00:27:43,327 --> 00:27:46,160 - That would be naughty. - Yeah. 479 00:27:47,367 --> 00:27:49,927 - (Bell tolls) - Let's wait till we get home. 480 00:27:49,967 --> 00:27:51,798 Sure, OK. Right. 481 00:27:51,847 --> 00:27:54,884 - (Clears throat) - Keep the outfit. 36578

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