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1
00:00:16,007 --> 00:00:18,157
- Ben?
- Shh.
2
00:00:22,127 --> 00:00:25,119
- It's been a while, you know.
- Huh?
3
00:00:25,167 --> 00:00:26,919
It's been a while since we...
4
00:00:26,967 --> 00:00:29,959
What, Susan? What? Talked?
5
00:00:31,767 --> 00:00:34,235
Oh, yes, I suppose
you're reading an article
6
00:00:34,287 --> 00:00:37,359
- about marriage and communication?
- No...
7
00:00:37,407 --> 00:00:39,363
Yes, Susan, the thing is, darling,
8
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:42,046
that marriage has
its ups and downs, you know,
9
00:00:42,087 --> 00:00:46,763
and there are gonna be times in every
marriage when we don't talk as much.
10
00:00:46,807 --> 00:00:48,684
(He sniffs)
11
00:00:49,687 --> 00:00:53,999
What we don't need is
your female instinctive panic about it.
12
00:00:54,047 --> 00:00:56,607
OK?
13
00:00:56,647 --> 00:00:58,638
It's not about talking, Ben.
14
00:01:00,207 --> 00:01:02,038
It's four weeks since we made love.
15
00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:04,521
- What?
- Shh.
16
00:01:04,567 --> 00:01:06,683
Everyone's asleep.
17
00:01:06,727 --> 00:01:09,525
Do you think you could curb
your instinctive male panic?
18
00:01:09,567 --> 00:01:12,877
- It has not been that long!
- Yes, stud, it has.
19
00:01:12,927 --> 00:01:14,883
No, it has not! Hey!
20
00:01:14,927 --> 00:01:18,044
Aha! There was that time when...
21
00:01:18,087 --> 00:01:19,884
Er... no, that was a dream,
22
00:01:19,927 --> 00:01:24,717
and, er... and it wasn't you,
but never mind, the thing is...
23
00:01:24,767 --> 00:01:27,964
Clearly we've lost some of the spice
in our marriage.
24
00:01:28,007 --> 00:01:30,726
We're not as intimate as we used to be,
25
00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:34,840
and when we are,
it's become... predictable.
26
00:01:36,207 --> 00:01:38,402
How dare you?
27
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,798
Listen, you! Hey!
I bring things into bed with us.
28
00:01:42,847 --> 00:01:44,678
The TV remote doesn't count.
29
00:01:46,287 --> 00:01:49,563
This article suggests that
in order to spice up our love life
30
00:01:49,607 --> 00:01:52,405
we should abstain from sex
for a certain amount of time.
31
00:01:52,447 --> 00:01:55,723
How about five minutes so I can brush
my teeth and have a gargle, OK?
32
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,166
It suggests three weeks.
33
00:01:57,207 --> 00:02:00,244
Three? We've done four.
We're a week ahead. Brace yourself.
34
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,199
No, no, no, no,
three weeks starting now.
35
00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:07,763
No intimacy. No kissing
and no touching. Total abstinence.
36
00:02:07,807 --> 00:02:11,197
Trust me. In three weeks' time,
we'll both be ready.
37
00:02:11,247 --> 00:02:14,284
- But I'm ready now!
- You see? It's working already.
38
00:02:14,327 --> 00:02:17,000
- You want what you can't have.
- I can, you're right there.
39
00:02:17,047 --> 00:02:19,117
Ah-ah-ah!
40
00:02:19,167 --> 00:02:22,079
See you in three weeks.
41
00:02:22,127 --> 00:02:25,483
All right, fine. OK. I can go along
with your little experiment.
42
00:02:25,527 --> 00:02:28,678
Just stop reading stupid magazines.
43
00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:35,444
(Rusting and sighing)
44
00:02:41,807 --> 00:02:44,367
- Mum?
- Mm?
45
00:02:44,407 --> 00:02:46,637
I'm not sure I want to know
the answer to this.
46
00:02:46,687 --> 00:02:50,680
What was that awful moaning
coming from your bedroom last night?
47
00:02:50,727 --> 00:02:54,276
It was your father,
and it wasn't what you think.
48
00:03:03,647 --> 00:03:06,241
What? Not allowed to touch him either?
49
00:03:07,407 --> 00:03:11,719
Here's my tuition fees.
Pay it and I keep quiet about the abuse.
50
00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:13,644
This was on the table.
It's a note from Abi.
51
00:03:13,687 --> 00:03:15,962
Your names are spelt out
in little hearts,
52
00:03:16,007 --> 00:03:19,966
with those little hearts
made out of even tinier little hearts.
53
00:03:23,327 --> 00:03:25,477
Oh.
54
00:03:29,727 --> 00:03:31,160
What are you looking at?
55
00:03:31,207 --> 00:03:34,040
Wondering what it would be like
to be raised in a normal family.
56
00:03:34,087 --> 00:03:36,521
We are a normal family, Michael.
57
00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:39,035
Help me! My life is over!
58
00:03:39,087 --> 00:03:41,726
Ben! Susan!
Abi didn't come home last night!
59
00:03:41,767 --> 00:03:44,440
My world is crashing down around me!
60
00:03:44,487 --> 00:03:46,603
Technically he's not family.
61
00:03:46,647 --> 00:03:49,320
Something's happened! My baby!
62
00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:52,837
Roger, relax. I'm sure there's
a perfectly normal explanation.
63
00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:56,243
- It's Abi.
- Or not.
64
00:03:56,287 --> 00:04:00,405
She left a note on the little chalkboard
the little pig holds by the oven.
65
00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:02,517
Oh! What?
66
00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:06,276
We have this little ceramic pig in
a baker's hat that holds the chalkboard.
67
00:04:06,327 --> 00:04:09,046
- He's pink and has a rakish moustache.
- Roger.
68
00:04:09,447 --> 00:04:13,235
- I could go home and bring him...
- Roger.
69
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:16,563
Anyway, all she wrote was,
70
00:04:16,607 --> 00:04:19,360
"Love you. Goodbye."
71
00:04:19,407 --> 00:04:21,762
(Susan) Roger, get a hold of yourself.
72
00:04:21,807 --> 00:04:25,402
You're not gonna help the situation
with panic. I'm sure she's...
73
00:04:27,807 --> 00:04:29,286
...fine.
74
00:04:29,327 --> 00:04:32,797
She's probably... stuck somewhere.
75
00:04:34,847 --> 00:04:38,601
She'll be back today sometime, I'm sure.
76
00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:44,122
Roger, just go to work
and try not to worry.
77
00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:47,045
We're going to get
to the bottom of this.
78
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:50,921
Oh, please, Ben!
I need your help. I'm going crazy.
79
00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:53,197
I'm not allowed to touch anyone.
80
00:04:54,207 --> 00:04:56,596
(Sniffing) I can smell
her bath products.
81
00:04:56,647 --> 00:04:59,286
I swear, I can smell her.
82
00:04:59,327 --> 00:05:01,557
Abi? She's here!
83
00:05:02,207 --> 00:05:04,562
D'you mind telling me
what the hell is going on?
84
00:05:04,607 --> 00:05:08,395
- You'd better sit down for this one.
- Right, I'll sit down.
85
00:05:08,447 --> 00:05:13,396
"Dear Ben and Susan, I've been
doing a lot of soul-searching lately,
86
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:19,761
"and it's come to my attention
that I've been called by the... Lord
87
00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:23,361
"to do His work.
88
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,763
"Yes, the Lord. The big guy."
89
00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:29,841
Oh, my God.
90
00:05:29,887 --> 00:05:32,526
Yeah, that's the one she's referring to.
91
00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:36,357
"This is gonna be hard
for you to understand,
92
00:05:36,407 --> 00:05:40,082
"but I've been called
to a... a greater good,
93
00:05:40,127 --> 00:05:41,879
"and I'm leaving my life behind,
94
00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:44,646
"and I've decided to become a nun."
95
00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:47,997
- What?
- A nun.
96
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:49,446
Why wouldn't she tell Roger?
97
00:05:49,487 --> 00:05:52,559
"I bet you're asking
why wouldn't I tell Roger.
98
00:05:52,607 --> 00:05:55,246
"Well, I couldn't find
the words to tell him,
99
00:05:55,287 --> 00:05:57,642
"so would you mind telling him for me?"
100
00:05:57,687 --> 00:05:59,405
You've got to be kidding.
101
00:05:59,447 --> 00:06:02,405
- Poor Roger.
- Oh, poor Roger.
102
00:06:02,447 --> 00:06:05,120
Can I be the one to tell him? Roger!
103
00:06:05,167 --> 00:06:06,759
- Ben.
- What? Sorry.
104
00:06:06,807 --> 00:06:10,402
- He's going to be heartbroken.
- Mm.
105
00:06:10,447 --> 00:06:13,484
- This might push him over the edge.
- Oh, I bet you're right.
106
00:06:13,527 --> 00:06:15,483
Er... Roger!
107
00:06:15,527 --> 00:06:17,438
Ben, stop it.
108
00:06:17,487 --> 00:06:21,878
This has to be handled very delicately.
You shouldn't give him the news.
109
00:06:21,927 --> 00:06:24,725
- Why?
- You'll smile while you're doing it.
110
00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:28,601
- I won't. I won't smile, I promise.
- You're smiling now.
111
00:06:28,647 --> 00:06:31,525
I'm not. This is not...
this is not smiling.
112
00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:35,606
Promise you won't tell him till I can
figure out the best way to handle this.
113
00:06:35,647 --> 00:06:39,083
All right, OK, fine.
You've taken one treat away from me.
114
00:06:39,127 --> 00:06:41,516
You might as well take this one too.
115
00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:46,722
(Doorbell)
116
00:06:50,687 --> 00:06:52,200
- Ron.
- Hi.
117
00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:53,236
What are you doing here?
118
00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:57,200
I just wanted to apologise
for last night.
119
00:06:57,247 --> 00:06:59,442
I really didn't want to leave but...
120
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:01,125
Thank you.
121
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:03,123
No worries.
122
00:07:03,167 --> 00:07:05,556
Do I... get to see you tonight?
123
00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:07,563
- (Phone rings)
- Er... yeah, yeah.
124
00:07:07,607 --> 00:07:10,963
I... I want to, but let's just see
how today goes, if that's OK.
125
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,436
I really would like to hear from you.
126
00:07:14,487 --> 00:07:18,241
It would be nice to spend
an entire evening with you.
127
00:07:18,287 --> 00:07:21,643
- (Rings)
- Er... I'll call you later, OK?
128
00:07:21,687 --> 00:07:24,485
- Bye.
- Bye.
129
00:07:28,207 --> 00:07:29,925
(Both) Married.
130
00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:33,004
Why do I do this?
I'm not going down this road.
131
00:07:33,047 --> 00:07:35,561
- Again.
- I wonder who she is.
132
00:07:35,607 --> 00:07:37,643
I hope she's as creative
as the last one.
133
00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:41,839
It's fun to see the word "bitch"
burning on the front lawn.
134
00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:47,119
Listen, is there any way you can look up
this guy and find out what his deal is?
135
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,920
You have a different guy every week.
What does it matter?
136
00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:54,085
No, Michael, this is different, OK?
I'm really close to him.
137
00:07:54,127 --> 00:07:56,436
We have a genuine connection.
138
00:07:56,487 --> 00:07:58,955
Fine. Give me his name
and I'll see what I can dig up.
139
00:07:59,007 --> 00:08:01,441
(Clears throat) Ron.
140
00:08:01,487 --> 00:08:03,523
Ron what?
141
00:08:06,847 --> 00:08:09,725
- (Background music)
- I don't get this.
142
00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,803
You are going to tell Roger here?
143
00:08:11,847 --> 00:08:14,964
I know Roger. He's less likely to react
if he's around strangers.
144
00:08:15,007 --> 00:08:17,123
No, I know Roger, and he'll go nuts.
145
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:20,955
Have a little faith, Ben.
The worst we'll see is a little crying.
146
00:08:21,007 --> 00:08:22,679
- 50 quid says you're wrong.
- Done.
147
00:08:22,727 --> 00:08:26,003
- Shake on it.
- Ah-ah-ah! You're very good.
148
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:29,483
- You almost had me. No touching.
- Oh. Damn.
149
00:08:30,887 --> 00:08:33,924
(Growls) You look so good tonight.
150
00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:35,878
Stop it.
151
00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:38,566
(Growls) You smell good too.
152
00:08:40,247 --> 00:08:44,240
- You're like a dog.
- (Growls) No "like" about it.
153
00:08:47,007 --> 00:08:50,443
- You need a cold shower.
- Hey, can we have one together?
154
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,756
Never mind.
155
00:08:53,807 --> 00:08:55,923
Is Abi here?
156
00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:58,276
(Gasps) Is this a surprise party?
157
00:08:58,327 --> 00:09:01,717
- Um... you could say that.
- No, Roger.
158
00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:04,122
Then what's going on?
159
00:09:06,527 --> 00:09:08,597
It is Abi, isn't it?
160
00:09:08,647 --> 00:09:11,115
She's left me for another man.
161
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:14,557
In... in a manner of speaking, yes.
162
00:09:14,607 --> 00:09:17,201
If I find out who it is,
163
00:09:17,247 --> 00:09:19,556
I will smash his face in.
164
00:09:21,287 --> 00:09:23,278
Well, good luck with that.
165
00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:26,556
Susan, do you know something?
166
00:09:28,007 --> 00:09:30,157
Actually, we do.
167
00:09:31,087 --> 00:09:34,557
Um... how do I say this?
168
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:37,565
Roger, has Abi ever seen
The Sound Of Music?
169
00:09:37,607 --> 00:09:39,802
- Or any Ingrid Bergman films?
- Ben.
170
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:43,044
Would someone please
tell me what's going on?
171
00:09:43,087 --> 00:09:47,478
Roger, did Abi ever mention
anything about being religious?
172
00:09:47,527 --> 00:09:49,006
She has a strong faith.
173
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,277
But when I say religious,
174
00:09:51,327 --> 00:09:53,795
I mean really...
175
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,680
really...
176
00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,285
really religious.
177
00:09:59,327 --> 00:10:03,923
She has been going to this church
up the road, sometimes twice a day.
178
00:10:03,967 --> 00:10:08,006
Well, that may have something
to do with this whole thing.
179
00:10:08,047 --> 00:10:10,607
It seems that Abi...
180
00:10:10,647 --> 00:10:14,083
has been reevaluating her life lately,
181
00:10:14,127 --> 00:10:19,326
and, well, the church
may have something to do with it.
182
00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:22,285
Oh, my God.
183
00:10:23,327 --> 00:10:25,795
I should have seen this coming.
184
00:10:25,847 --> 00:10:27,917
She's dating a priest!
185
00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:32,006
- No, Roger.
- But you're getting warmer.
186
00:10:32,047 --> 00:10:33,878
- Please, Susan!
- She's gone to...
187
00:10:33,927 --> 00:10:35,326
- The zoo?
- No.
188
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:37,835
- Wales?
- No, she's left you to become...
189
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,685
- A zookeeper?
- I said no to the zoo!
190
00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:44,606
- She's left you to become a nun.
- A nun?
191
00:10:44,647 --> 00:10:47,525
A nun. Yes.
192
00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:49,797
Rog, she, um...
193
00:10:49,847 --> 00:10:52,645
has gone into a convent, it seems,
194
00:10:52,687 --> 00:10:54,962
and, um...
195
00:10:55,007 --> 00:10:56,804
she's not coming back.
196
00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:07,165
- Roger...
- (Sobs)
197
00:11:08,407 --> 00:11:10,637
(Roger sobs)
198
00:11:11,927 --> 00:11:14,805
(Sobs and roars)
199
00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:16,519
Aah! Aah!
200
00:11:16,567 --> 00:11:18,444
No more cheesecake!
201
00:11:18,487 --> 00:11:21,081
Aaah! Ohhh!
202
00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:27,676
(Roger screaming)
203
00:11:29,807 --> 00:11:32,116
I have some information
about the boyfriend.
204
00:11:32,167 --> 00:11:35,477
- Oh, Michael, you're a genius.
- He's got the time, trust me.
205
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:40,003
Turns out your Ron does in fact
have another woman in his life.
206
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,607
- Her name's Elizabeth.
- What a pig.
207
00:11:42,647 --> 00:11:45,957
- How long have they been together?
- Together for... Hm, let's see.
208
00:11:46,007 --> 00:11:49,522
Your Ron's 29
so, doing the maths, 29 years.
209
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:51,319
(Whispers) 29...
210
00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:54,245
- What does that mean?
- It's his mother.
211
00:11:54,287 --> 00:11:56,676
That would explain
his suspicious behaviour.
212
00:11:56,727 --> 00:12:01,005
That's great. He's not married,
just close to his mother.
213
00:12:01,047 --> 00:12:03,003
In this day and age,
it's not a big deal.
214
00:12:03,047 --> 00:12:05,561
Plenty of men live with their mother
until later in life
215
00:12:05,607 --> 00:12:07,996
and they turn out completely normal.
216
00:12:08,047 --> 00:12:09,958
(Roger wailing)
217
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,682
Just calm down.
218
00:12:15,727 --> 00:12:17,445
They sedated him at the police station.
219
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,206
So he took the news well.
220
00:12:20,247 --> 00:12:22,886
- Lay down.
- Down you come, Rog. Good lad.
221
00:12:22,927 --> 00:12:27,842
There we go. I'm glad everyone's here.
Roger needs our help right now.
222
00:12:27,887 --> 00:12:30,799
We're going to have to watch him
for the next few days.
223
00:12:30,847 --> 00:12:33,315
Look at him. He's a wreck.
224
00:12:33,367 --> 00:12:35,198
Wreck? He's pathetic.
225
00:12:35,247 --> 00:12:37,522
This has got to be
the lowest he's ever been.
226
00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:40,001
If he was a dog, you'd shoot him.
227
00:12:40,047 --> 00:12:42,117
I can still kind of hear you.
228
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:47,160
- So who's taking the first shift?
- What? Shift?
229
00:12:50,567 --> 00:12:54,162
- Well, let's not all answer at once.
- I'll do it.
230
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:57,643
- (Phone)
- Maybe I have put my family second.
231
00:12:57,687 --> 00:13:01,316
- Hello?
- But sometimes you've got to step up.
232
00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:05,565
- It's your boyfriend.
- You guys have this covered, right?
233
00:13:05,607 --> 00:13:09,759
Fine, I'll do it. If I ever got this
low, I'd want someone to watch me.
234
00:13:09,807 --> 00:13:12,367
Ah, hello? You have, and we have.
235
00:13:12,407 --> 00:13:18,004
A few years back you got a B in algebra.
You were pretty close to the edge.
236
00:13:19,207 --> 00:13:21,960
Oh, God. I blocked that out.
237
00:13:22,007 --> 00:13:25,716
Yes, I know we're doing this whole
"Roger wallowing in despair" thing
238
00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:27,439
but I can't do tonight.
239
00:13:27,487 --> 00:13:31,116
Just told Ron I knew about him
living with his mum and it's all sorted.
240
00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:36,685
Oh! You are so selfish! Everything's
always got to be about Janey.
241
00:13:36,727 --> 00:13:40,481
(High-pitched) Oh, my name's Janey
and I've got a new boyfriend!
242
00:13:40,527 --> 00:13:43,280
Yeah, like anybody here
gives a flying...
243
00:13:46,807 --> 00:13:49,526
It's all right, darling,
it's the medication talking.
244
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,926
But he's got a point.
245
00:13:54,527 --> 00:13:56,722
- (Yawns and growls)
- Ben.
246
00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:59,800
- (Snorts)
- Ben.
247
00:13:59,847 --> 00:14:02,042
- Ah, hm.
- I need to talk.
248
00:14:02,087 --> 00:14:04,078
(Snoring)
249
00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:09,525
- Ben, this is important.
- (Snores)
250
00:14:09,927 --> 00:14:12,441
- Wake up.
- (Snores)
251
00:14:13,447 --> 00:14:15,881
It's about the article.
252
00:14:15,927 --> 00:14:19,283
- The agreement we made.
- (Snoring)
253
00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:22,285
- I want to break it.
- OK.
254
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:25,444
- It's a silly agreement anyway.
- That's what I've been saying.
255
00:14:25,487 --> 00:14:28,684
- Come on! Come on, what time is it?
- Five in the morning.
256
00:14:28,727 --> 00:14:33,164
- That's my favourite time. Let's go.
- Wait, wait, wait! Are we being weak?
257
00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:35,880
I'm weak all the time. It's no big deal.
258
00:14:36,007 --> 00:14:37,520
We were doing so well.
259
00:14:37,567 --> 00:14:41,242
Yes, look, what are they gonna do?
Throw us into sex jail?
260
00:14:41,287 --> 00:14:43,801
(Growls) Sex... sex jail!
261
00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:46,759
- You don't think we'd be failing?
- No, no, we'd be winning.
262
00:14:46,807 --> 00:14:50,117
We'd be champions of our own destiny,
masters of our own fate.
263
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:53,045
- Get those pyjamas off.
- Way ahead of you.
264
00:14:54,407 --> 00:14:58,400
- How did you do that?
- I may be weak but I'm very quick.
265
00:14:58,447 --> 00:14:59,482
- Ben!
- Roger!
266
00:14:59,527 --> 00:15:02,883
- Who's on Roger watch?
- (Michael) Sorry!
267
00:15:02,927 --> 00:15:04,360
I need your help.
268
00:15:04,407 --> 00:15:07,683
I have to go and see Abi
and I'm in no state to drive.
269
00:15:07,727 --> 00:15:10,400
- We can't do anything now.
- Yes, we can, if he'd just go away.
270
00:15:10,447 --> 00:15:12,722
Go away, Roger, shoo, go on.
271
00:15:12,767 --> 00:15:16,555
- Please, I have to see her.
- The convent is hours away.
272
00:15:16,607 --> 00:15:20,316
- Please, I'm begging you.
- Oh, God, Roger, go...
273
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:22,927
Oh, this is really a nightmare.
274
00:15:22,967 --> 00:15:24,525
Abi is the love of my life,
275
00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:28,606
and I know that if I'm just able to talk
to her, she'll come to her senses.
276
00:15:28,647 --> 00:15:31,400
- Please, Ben?
- Oh...
277
00:15:31,447 --> 00:15:33,836
Go with me.
278
00:15:39,447 --> 00:15:43,042
Go on, go on, wait in the car.
Give me a few minutes, OK?
279
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:52,204
(Whispers)
280
00:16:07,807 --> 00:16:10,480
(Whispers) Hi.
281
00:16:10,527 --> 00:16:12,995
Can I ask what you're doing here?
282
00:16:13,047 --> 00:16:15,038
- We...
- I'm here to see my wife.
283
00:16:15,087 --> 00:16:19,478
Yeah, and I bet you don't hear that
too often. Or maybe you do.
284
00:16:19,527 --> 00:16:21,916
- Her name is Abi Bailey...
- Shh. Roger.
285
00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:24,162
...and I demand to see her!
- Shh, shh.
286
00:16:24,207 --> 00:16:26,163
I'm afraid that's not possible.
287
00:16:26,207 --> 00:16:29,324
She's asked for some time
to be in seclusion,
288
00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:32,439
to pray about the direction
her life is taking.
289
00:16:32,487 --> 00:16:35,763
Well... Sister,
290
00:16:35,807 --> 00:16:37,843
that's not going to cut it.
291
00:16:37,887 --> 00:16:39,843
I'm not going anywhere!
292
00:16:39,887 --> 00:16:42,959
And I'm his friend
and I'm gonna stay by his side.
293
00:16:43,007 --> 00:16:45,680
- I'm going to call the police.
- We're off. Come on.
294
00:16:45,727 --> 00:16:48,844
- The door is over there.
- The door's over there. Let's go.
295
00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:51,959
- Sorry to bother you, sorry. So long.
- Farewell.
296
00:16:52,007 --> 00:16:53,406
- Auf Wiedersehen.
- Goodbye.
297
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:56,086
(Bell tolls)
298
00:16:59,207 --> 00:17:02,040
- Roger.
- I wanted to see Abi.
299
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:04,282
- I need your genius right now.
- Roger.
300
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:07,205
- There's no... Genius?
- Yes, genius.
301
00:17:07,247 --> 00:17:10,842
You always know the solution
in these situations.
302
00:17:10,887 --> 00:17:12,798
Genius!
303
00:17:12,847 --> 00:17:16,317
You and your brilliance
are all I have left. Now, please!
304
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:18,722
Roger, this is not something
I can just turn on.
305
00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:21,918
It's not easy. You don't just click
your fingers and it happens.
306
00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:24,720
- You need a flash of, you know...
- Genius.
307
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:29,238
- Genius, yeah.
- Make it happen now. You can do it.
308
00:17:29,287 --> 00:17:31,721
OK, OK.
309
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:33,280
I may have one idea.
310
00:17:33,327 --> 00:17:36,364
(Sighs) I love you.
311
00:17:40,807 --> 00:17:43,002
OK.
312
00:17:44,127 --> 00:17:46,197
(Door creaks)
313
00:17:57,487 --> 00:17:59,398
All right?
314
00:18:01,727 --> 00:18:03,718
(Mouths)
315
00:18:07,527 --> 00:18:09,722
- Which one's Abi?
- I don't know, Roger.
316
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:11,644
They all look alike from the back.
317
00:18:11,687 --> 00:18:13,837
- I've got to see her, Ben.
- Yes.
318
00:18:13,887 --> 00:18:17,004
Maybe they've got her
locked up someplace.
319
00:18:17,047 --> 00:18:19,515
I'm not sure that's how
things work in a convent.
320
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:26,679
- Ben, that's her!
- Shh.
321
00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:30,003
Wh...
322
00:18:33,207 --> 00:18:35,801
Look, wait,
we have to get her on her own.
323
00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:37,280
Right.
324
00:18:37,327 --> 00:18:39,602
We wait until they've finished praying.
325
00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:42,525
- Right.
- Right, right.
326
00:18:45,687 --> 00:18:48,520
- Hi. Come on in.
- Hey. Wow.
327
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:51,001
- Mwah!
- Mwah!
328
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:54,084
- (Movie soundtrack plays)
- This is my brother Michael.
329
00:18:54,127 --> 00:18:56,721
And this is just some Welsh bloke
who lives here.
330
00:18:56,767 --> 00:18:59,156
- I'll fix us some drinks, OK?
- Yeah.
331
00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:04,886
- Hey.
- (Both) Hey.
332
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:12,361
- So you still live with your mother?
- Yeah, for now, to save money.
333
00:19:12,407 --> 00:19:14,363
No explanation needed.
334
00:19:14,407 --> 00:19:16,238
Michael still lives with his mother
335
00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:19,836
and I'm not even sure
it's for financial reasons.
336
00:19:19,887 --> 00:19:22,560
He's just very attached.
337
00:19:22,607 --> 00:19:25,280
Alfie, can I have a word with you
in the kitchen?
338
00:19:32,487 --> 00:19:36,002
Listen, I'm sorry, OK?
I panicked, I ran out of small talk.
339
00:19:36,047 --> 00:19:38,242
I don't think you're too attached
to your mother.
340
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,515
I have to go out for a while. Be good.
341
00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:44,206
Mm! Little choochie-face.
342
00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:53,280
What?
343
00:19:53,327 --> 00:19:55,443
I'm not saying a word.
344
00:19:57,087 --> 00:19:59,476
Abi! Abi!
345
00:19:59,527 --> 00:20:01,483
Roger! Ben!
346
00:20:01,527 --> 00:20:03,882
- What are you doing here?
- I had to see you.
347
00:20:03,927 --> 00:20:05,679
Uh-oh.
348
00:20:12,727 --> 00:20:15,400
Abi, what is going on?
349
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:20,123
I'm sorry I had to leave the way I did,
Rog, but I had a vision.
350
00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:22,362
You've had a vision before, remember?
351
00:20:22,407 --> 00:20:25,285
The leprechaun dancing
on the mantelpiece.
352
00:20:25,327 --> 00:20:29,445
Yeah, but this is different.
This is something that I've always felt.
353
00:20:29,487 --> 00:20:32,763
It's been in my soul
since I was a little girl.
354
00:20:32,807 --> 00:20:35,719
Rog, this can't have
been a shock to you.
355
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:37,803
I've been talking about it for a year.
356
00:20:37,847 --> 00:20:40,156
- Did you not hear me?
- I suppose.
357
00:20:40,207 --> 00:20:44,678
I've been called on by the Lord
God Almighty to a higher calling.
358
00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:49,596
I want to give my life, my very soul,
to the service of humanity.
359
00:20:49,647 --> 00:20:53,879
I want to read to the blind.
I want to feed the hungry.
360
00:20:53,927 --> 00:20:56,202
I want to help the poor
361
00:20:56,247 --> 00:20:58,886
and I want to tend to the sick children.
362
00:21:01,487 --> 00:21:03,478
You selfish cow.
363
00:21:08,647 --> 00:21:11,400
I'm really glad we had that talk.
I feel so much closer.
364
00:21:11,447 --> 00:21:15,998
Mm, me too. And I think it's a good
thing you and your mother are close.
365
00:21:16,047 --> 00:21:18,277
You've no idea
how good that makes me feel.
366
00:21:18,327 --> 00:21:20,887
- (Phone)
- Oh.
367
00:21:21,887 --> 00:21:23,718
Oh. Mum.
368
00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:26,884
She's out of town a few nights.
She's probably just checking in.
369
00:21:26,927 --> 00:21:29,122
- Well, not tonight, Mum.
- (Beeps off)
370
00:21:29,167 --> 00:21:33,399
- I'm on a date.
- Yes, you are.
371
00:21:33,447 --> 00:21:35,915
You know, I have to say,
372
00:21:35,967 --> 00:21:38,481
I really am very attracted to you,
Janey.
373
00:21:38,527 --> 00:21:40,836
And I'm attracted to you.
374
00:21:40,887 --> 00:21:44,800
(Sighs) And why don't we
get more... comfortable?
375
00:21:44,847 --> 00:21:47,805
I think that's a great idea.
376
00:21:59,687 --> 00:22:02,042
Wow.
377
00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:04,521
This feels good.
378
00:22:04,567 --> 00:22:06,319
Yeah.
379
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:10,155
You know, maybe we don't have to even
go out. Maybe we could just stay in.
380
00:22:10,207 --> 00:22:13,677
Would you make me a toasted cheese
sandwich? They're my favourite.
381
00:22:13,727 --> 00:22:16,366
And... and would you cut the crusts off?
382
00:22:16,407 --> 00:22:19,160
And... and I like them cut in triangles.
383
00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:21,801
Hey, listen, I've got an idea.
384
00:22:21,847 --> 00:22:24,759
Why don't we go to the pub
for a quick drink before the film?
385
00:22:24,807 --> 00:22:27,526
- Er... sure.
- Yeah?
386
00:22:27,567 --> 00:22:29,558
Anything but this.
387
00:22:32,127 --> 00:22:35,199
- (Sighs) Father.
- Er...
388
00:22:35,247 --> 00:22:38,762
- May I make my confession?
- Er, no, I...
389
00:22:38,807 --> 00:22:40,798
Yeah, sure, fire away.
390
00:22:40,847 --> 00:22:46,365
We're married, Abi. You can't just
leave. You made a commitment to me.
391
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:48,318
That is true.
392
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,597
This... this is just a phase.
393
00:22:50,647 --> 00:22:54,322
And these outfits,
they're very uncomfortable.
394
00:22:54,367 --> 00:22:56,483
Abi.
395
00:22:56,527 --> 00:22:57,926
Let's go home.
396
00:22:57,967 --> 00:23:00,276
You've gone and confused me now.
397
00:23:00,327 --> 00:23:02,045
Please.
398
00:23:02,087 --> 00:23:03,725
Let's go.
399
00:23:05,847 --> 00:23:08,839
- And yesterday, Father...
- No, please stop. Just stop.
400
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:12,800
No more. I can't take this any more.
Just... just go in peace, my child.
401
00:23:12,847 --> 00:23:15,520
And what's my penance, Father?
402
00:23:15,567 --> 00:23:18,400
Climb every mountain.
403
00:23:18,447 --> 00:23:22,486
- And have a nice day.
- Have a nice day, that's it?
404
00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:25,519
Yeah, and three Bloody Marys
for your sins.
405
00:23:25,567 --> 00:23:27,683
You mean Hail Marys.
406
00:23:28,687 --> 00:23:31,565
That's what I said.
407
00:23:31,607 --> 00:23:33,598
(She sobs)
408
00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:38,598
- Oh!
- (Both laughing)
409
00:23:38,647 --> 00:23:40,922
- The pub, good idea.
- Oh...
410
00:23:40,967 --> 00:23:43,800
Coming back to my place, good idea.
411
00:23:43,847 --> 00:23:46,839
- Mummy's out of town. Good idea.
- Mm.
412
00:23:46,887 --> 00:23:50,766
Listen, I just want to freshen up
a bit, OK? I'll be right back.
413
00:23:50,807 --> 00:23:53,765
(She giggles) OK.
414
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,997
Yes, yes, yes.
415
00:23:57,047 --> 00:24:00,005
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
416
00:24:00,047 --> 00:24:01,685
(Sighs)
417
00:24:08,287 --> 00:24:10,164
Hell, no.
418
00:24:10,207 --> 00:24:12,277
(Ron) Quite small, huh?
419
00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:14,682
This isn't going to work.
420
00:24:14,727 --> 00:24:17,525
- We can go downstairs.
- No, I mean us.
421
00:24:17,567 --> 00:24:20,365
Can't do it. I have to go.
422
00:24:23,887 --> 00:24:26,481
Or we could just switch off the light.
423
00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:30,206
Come on, we can talk
about this at home.
424
00:24:30,247 --> 00:24:34,399
Please. This is really starting
to ride up.
425
00:24:35,927 --> 00:24:38,122
- Susan.
- Abi.
426
00:24:38,167 --> 00:24:40,283
Have you seen Roger?
427
00:24:41,807 --> 00:24:43,320
- Roger.
- Susan.
428
00:24:43,367 --> 00:24:47,485
- Have you joined too?
- No, no, we had to sneak in because...
429
00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:49,643
Hide, hide! Er...
430
00:24:49,687 --> 00:24:52,360
Habde annuis avami.
431
00:25:02,287 --> 00:25:04,721
Have you anything to confess, my child?
432
00:25:05,527 --> 00:25:08,439
- I wouldn't know where to start.
- Oh, really?
433
00:25:08,487 --> 00:25:10,284
- Ben!
- Susan.
434
00:25:10,327 --> 00:25:12,204
(Knocking) Let's get out of here.
435
00:25:12,247 --> 00:25:14,124
Abi's coming with us.
436
00:25:18,127 --> 00:25:21,961
- Abi, is this true?
- Well, Roger...
437
00:25:22,007 --> 00:25:25,522
Yes, yes, yes, she's sure.
This was all just one big mix-up.
438
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:28,081
Can we get the... heck out of here?
439
00:25:28,127 --> 00:25:31,676
- Why did you leave in the first place?
- I wanted to...
440
00:25:31,727 --> 00:25:34,082
Heal the world, save humanity,
blah, blah, blah.
441
00:25:34,687 --> 00:25:39,283
- Do you want to come home or stay?
- Well, I...
442
00:25:39,327 --> 00:25:42,285
Because it does seem like
you decided rather quickly.
443
00:25:42,327 --> 00:25:44,124
Quickly?
444
00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:46,840
I've been talking about it for ages.
445
00:25:46,887 --> 00:25:49,321
I told you and Ben all about it.
446
00:25:51,207 --> 00:25:54,483
- Doesn't anybody listen to me?
- Look, are you coming or staying?
447
00:25:54,527 --> 00:25:58,486
- I've got a car on a meter out there.
- Ben.
448
00:25:58,527 --> 00:26:00,597
Abi.
449
00:26:02,287 --> 00:26:04,039
I'm sorry, Roger.
450
00:26:04,087 --> 00:26:06,203
My life is here.
451
00:26:06,247 --> 00:26:08,807
(Gasping) No.
452
00:26:08,847 --> 00:26:12,157
No, it's not.
Your... your life is with me.
453
00:26:12,207 --> 00:26:14,163
Roger, I know this is difficult,
454
00:26:14,207 --> 00:26:17,882
but the simple hard truth is that
if you love her, really love her,
455
00:26:17,927 --> 00:26:20,282
in a completely unselfish way,
456
00:26:20,327 --> 00:26:22,557
you're going to have to let her go.
457
00:26:22,607 --> 00:26:24,199
Roger,
458
00:26:24,247 --> 00:26:26,715
love me enough to let me be me.
459
00:26:27,447 --> 00:26:29,836
(Sniffs) Abi.
460
00:26:31,327 --> 00:26:33,636
Bye, Susan. Bye, Ben.
461
00:26:38,567 --> 00:26:39,920
(He sniffs)
462
00:26:39,967 --> 00:26:41,923
Love you.
463
00:26:46,967 --> 00:26:48,764
There goes my angel.
464
00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:53,438
(Clunk)
465
00:26:59,647 --> 00:27:01,683
And still Abi.
466
00:27:03,527 --> 00:27:05,995
Come on. Come on, Sister.
Let's get you home.
467
00:27:06,047 --> 00:27:09,960
If you don't mind,
I'd... I'd just like a moment's peace.
468
00:27:17,127 --> 00:27:19,436
(Sighs)
469
00:27:19,487 --> 00:27:21,682
I do feel bad for him.
470
00:27:21,727 --> 00:27:26,164
Mm-hm, yeah, me too.
Me too. Hey, guess what.
471
00:27:26,207 --> 00:27:27,879
- What?
- We've broken our agreement.
472
00:27:27,927 --> 00:27:30,122
- We're touching.
- So we are.
473
00:27:30,167 --> 00:27:31,964
(He chuckles)
474
00:27:32,007 --> 00:27:36,285
I mean, we could...
Cos he could be there for hours.
475
00:27:36,327 --> 00:27:38,921
- I've seen those nuns praying.
- No.
476
00:27:38,967 --> 00:27:41,162
- Look at you.
- Oh, come on.
477
00:27:41,207 --> 00:27:43,277
Come on, we could just...
478
00:27:43,327 --> 00:27:46,160
- That would be naughty.
- Yeah.
479
00:27:47,367 --> 00:27:49,927
- (Bell tolls)
- Let's wait till we get home.
480
00:27:49,967 --> 00:27:51,798
Sure, OK. Right.
481
00:27:51,847 --> 00:27:54,884
- (Clears throat)
- Keep the outfit.
36578
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