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1
00:00:08,447 --> 00:00:09,846
Hello, honey,
2
00:00:09,887 --> 00:00:11,605
I'm home!
3
00:00:11,647 --> 00:00:13,558
Ho-ho!
4
00:00:13,607 --> 00:00:15,677
Naughty, naughty things.
5
00:00:15,727 --> 00:00:17,240
Ha ha ha!
6
00:00:20,447 --> 00:00:21,846
(Laughs)
7
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,397
Oh, mistress mine.
8
00:00:29,527 --> 00:00:30,926
Dad?
9
00:00:32,087 --> 00:00:35,557
Listen, since Mum's taken Kenzo with her
to Grandma's for the week,
10
00:00:35,607 --> 00:00:37,598
I thought I'd meet some friends for a drink.
11
00:00:37,647 --> 00:00:40,480
You know, relive some of the fun I had
at university.
12
00:00:40,527 --> 00:00:44,281
Relive the? You got pregnant at university.
I think you had enough fun.
13
00:00:45,407 --> 00:00:47,204
Are you all right, Dad?
14
00:00:48,207 --> 00:00:49,606
Yes, why?
15
00:00:49,647 --> 00:00:52,115
Well, you went to bed so early,
16
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:54,044
and you didn't eat any dinner.
17
00:00:55,127 --> 00:00:58,324
I know Mum's gone for a while,
so, if you are feeling...
18
00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:01,359
Janey, Janey, it's a few days. A few days.
19
00:01:01,407 --> 00:01:04,240
Of course I'll miss your mother
but, you know,
20
00:01:04,287 --> 00:01:07,757
when you've been married as long as I have,
you learn to view these situations
21
00:01:07,807 --> 00:01:12,119
as opportunities to appreciate
all the wonderful things you've been missing.
22
00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:15,516
Oh, that is sweet.
23
00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:17,922
OK, night, Dad.
24
00:01:23,607 --> 00:01:25,199
Whoo.
25
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:31,046
Oh, you wonderful things,
I've really missed you!
26
00:01:31,087 --> 00:01:32,486
Ha ha ha!
27
00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:35,642
I've missed you so much.
28
00:01:40,447 --> 00:01:42,278
(Engine noise)
29
00:01:42,327 --> 00:01:43,919
What the hell?
30
00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:51,766
Hello!
31
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,923
Casey!
32
00:01:53,967 --> 00:01:56,003
Shut... Shut that racket off!
33
00:01:56,047 --> 00:01:58,641
It's enough to wake the dead.
Do you know what time it is?
34
00:01:58,687 --> 00:02:00,405
(Phone)
35
00:02:01,727 --> 00:02:03,126
Hello?
36
00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:04,566
Yes, Susan.
37
00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:06,518
You got there safely? Good.
38
00:02:07,567 --> 00:02:11,003
No, it's not me making all that noise,
it's that idiot next door.
39
00:02:12,047 --> 00:02:13,844
Casey? What do you mean he's a nice man?
40
00:02:13,887 --> 00:02:15,639
He's a devil in a Pringle cardigan,
41
00:02:15,687 --> 00:02:19,680
and he's absolutely ruined my quiet evening...
reading.
42
00:02:20,847 --> 00:02:23,486
Put a bloody sock in it, you idiot!
43
00:02:23,527 --> 00:02:25,916
No, not you. Darling, I didn't mean you.
44
00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:29,755
Just, Susan, look, can't hear a word,
better call you back tomorrow. Bye!
45
00:02:29,807 --> 00:02:31,206
Love you. Bye.
46
00:02:31,247 --> 00:02:34,364
Casey, shut that off or I'll shut you off.
47
00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:36,800
Right, that's it!
48
00:02:36,847 --> 00:02:39,680
Ruined, the whole evening ruined.
49
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:07,846
Morning.
50
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,479
(Growls)
51
00:03:11,407 --> 00:03:12,806
Sleep well?
52
00:03:12,847 --> 00:03:14,439
(Growls)
53
00:03:16,287 --> 00:03:18,084
Nice talking with you.
54
00:03:18,127 --> 00:03:19,685
- (Growls)
- (Knocking on door)
55
00:03:21,087 --> 00:03:22,486
(Growls)
56
00:03:24,527 --> 00:03:26,245
Isn't that Mr Casey from next door?
57
00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:30,360
Yes, and his bloody generator
kept me awake all last night.
58
00:03:30,407 --> 00:03:31,806
Come in.
59
00:03:31,847 --> 00:03:35,601
How d'you do? I'd like a word
with the head of the family, please.
60
00:03:35,647 --> 00:03:38,798
- Dad's right here.
- I said head of the family, not the backside.
61
00:03:38,847 --> 00:03:40,246
I'm looking for Susan.
62
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,800
Hello, Casey.
63
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,281
- Hello, Harper.
- Enough chit-chat.
64
00:03:44,327 --> 00:03:46,318
What was that racket last night, mm?
65
00:03:46,367 --> 00:03:49,598
Were the Time Team
trying to unearth your personality?
66
00:03:50,847 --> 00:03:55,045
I'm renovating my home. I thought it only fair
to inform you that beginning today,
67
00:03:55,087 --> 00:03:58,363
I shall be using an electric generator
until the work is complete.
68
00:03:58,407 --> 00:03:59,920
- Sorry, beginning today?
- Mm.
69
00:03:59,967 --> 00:04:02,197
Then why was the bloody thing on
all last night?
70
00:04:02,247 --> 00:04:03,885
Oh, was it?
71
00:04:03,927 --> 00:04:07,920
Oh, yes, I was just testing it out
and I must've dropped off.
72
00:04:07,967 --> 00:04:10,959
I find the constant low rumbling
oddly soothing.
73
00:04:11,007 --> 00:04:13,475
- We say the same thing about Dad.
- Shut it, Mikey.
74
00:04:13,527 --> 00:04:15,518
Oh, Mr Casey, hello.
75
00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:19,082
I haven't seen you since I caught you
watching me sunbathe last summer.
76
00:04:19,127 --> 00:04:22,437
Ah, yes, yes.
I believe I can hear my telephone ringing.
77
00:04:22,487 --> 00:04:24,318
How very unfortunate.
Will you excuse me?
78
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:28,804
Funny, you can hear a telephone ringing
but you couldn't hear a generator, you pillock!
79
00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:31,684
You two still haven't buried the hatchet?
80
00:04:31,727 --> 00:04:33,763
Not me, him. He bears grudges.
81
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:36,162
That man has not been the same
since his dog died.
82
00:04:36,207 --> 00:04:39,279
- Because you backed over it with your car.
- It was an accident, Michael.
83
00:04:39,327 --> 00:04:41,795
Dad, you are on the RSPCA
offender's register.
84
00:04:41,847 --> 00:04:44,759
Leave me alone,
Please, leave me alone, right?
85
00:04:44,807 --> 00:04:46,638
It was an old dog anyway.
86
00:04:47,647 --> 00:04:50,480
I said I was sorry.
What is the matter with that man?
87
00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:54,486
It's all very exciting but I'm going to make
myself a snack and go to bed.
88
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:56,882
Go to bed?
Have you been out all night?
89
00:04:56,927 --> 00:04:59,316
Dad, it was fantastic.
90
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:02,723
You know, since Kenzo's been away,
I finally have some time for myself.
91
00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:04,723
It's like being 16 again.
92
00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:07,998
You know, getting drunk,
wearing skimpy clothes,
93
00:05:08,047 --> 00:05:10,242
getting off with blokes I barely know.
94
00:05:10,287 --> 00:05:14,360
Whoa, whoa, you didn't do any of those things
when you were 16.
95
00:05:14,407 --> 00:05:16,204
(Laughs)
96
00:05:16,247 --> 00:05:18,203
Yeah, OK. Maybe you did.
97
00:05:18,887 --> 00:05:22,004
It is tempting to cut loose
when there are no parents in the house.
98
00:05:22,047 --> 00:05:26,086
That's right. Hang on, what do you mean,
no parents? What am I then?
99
00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:28,846
(Both laugh)
100
00:05:28,887 --> 00:05:30,878
Yeah, good one, Dad.
101
00:05:30,927 --> 00:05:33,157
You two have never been afraid of me,
have you?
102
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,686
- Not really.
- No.
103
00:05:34,727 --> 00:05:36,365
Are you afraid of your mother?
104
00:05:36,407 --> 00:05:39,046
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that makes three of us.
105
00:05:40,327 --> 00:05:43,285
OK, well, I'm off to work.
106
00:05:46,047 --> 00:05:48,481
I'm gonna kill that Casey!
107
00:05:51,007 --> 00:05:52,804
So, who were you out with last night then?
108
00:05:52,847 --> 00:05:57,557
Oh, you know, the old gang -
Rachel, Annie, Sasha.
109
00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:02,397
Wait. Sasha, isn't she the one in prison
for shoplifting, vandalism and verbal abuse?
110
00:06:02,447 --> 00:06:04,438
No, she got out for good behaviour.
111
00:06:06,647 --> 00:06:08,239
- (Tyres squeal)
- (Horn beeping)
112
00:06:08,287 --> 00:06:09,720
- (Crashing sound)
- (Shouting)
113
00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:11,519
What the hell was that?
114
00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:14,446
- Oh, my God!
- Dad?
115
00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:17,125
Dad, what was that sound?
116
00:06:18,047 --> 00:06:19,685
Nine, nine, nine.
117
00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:25,202
Yes, hello, emergency, yes.
I need an ambulance, please.
118
00:06:25,647 --> 00:06:28,320
Yeah. Uh, name? Ben Harper.
119
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:29,800
Yeah.
120
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,405
What do you mean "Me again"?
121
00:06:33,247 --> 00:06:38,275
Yeah, I've sort of reversed
over my next-door neighbour.
122
00:06:40,127 --> 00:06:42,083
Yeah, I just need an ambulance, yeah.
123
00:06:42,127 --> 00:06:44,687
It's 78 Lancaster Road. You can't miss it.
124
00:06:44,727 --> 00:06:47,958
There's a wisteria round the front door,
privet hedge.
125
00:06:49,007 --> 00:06:52,283
Yeah, and a man's out in the street,
screaming in agony.
126
00:06:52,327 --> 00:06:53,760
Bye.
127
00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:57,366
What?
128
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:01,766
Yeah.
129
00:07:01,807 --> 00:07:05,766
Aw!
I know how fond of flowers Mr Casey is.
130
00:07:05,807 --> 00:07:08,196
Dad, they're beautiful.
Where did you get those from?
131
00:07:08,247 --> 00:07:13,116
Where did I? I got them... from the shop.
132
00:07:14,687 --> 00:07:17,281
- You didn't?
- Mm?
133
00:07:17,327 --> 00:07:19,887
It's all right, he can still smell them.
134
00:07:21,687 --> 00:07:24,724
Kids, look, I... I need your help.
135
00:07:25,727 --> 00:07:27,718
Daddy needs your help, OK?
136
00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:31,601
So, look, what I did to Mr Casey
was an accident, OK?
137
00:07:31,647 --> 00:07:33,717
We never actually saw what happened.
138
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:36,645
And the last thing I heard you say
was "I'm going to kill Mr Casey".
139
00:07:36,687 --> 00:07:40,362
And you did have that murderous look
in your eyes and there it is again.
140
00:07:40,407 --> 00:07:42,159
Actually, I don't need your help.
141
00:07:42,207 --> 00:07:46,280
This is probably one of those things
that'll just go away,
142
00:07:46,327 --> 00:07:48,966
or... ruin the rest of my life.
143
00:07:49,007 --> 00:07:51,077
- Are you Ben Harper?
- Yes.
144
00:07:51,127 --> 00:07:53,925
You're the person
that ran over this individual in your car?
145
00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:55,605
Yes.
146
00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:57,797
Yes, I ran him over in my car.
147
00:07:57,847 --> 00:08:00,884
- Accidentally.
- Very. Very, very accidentally.
148
00:08:00,927 --> 00:08:03,077
- You and Casey are neighbours?
- That's right.
149
00:08:03,127 --> 00:08:05,038
- Get on well, do you?
- Well?
150
00:08:05,087 --> 00:08:08,204
Mr Casey and I, we're... we're like that.
151
00:08:08,247 --> 00:08:11,683
- How's he doing, Doc?
- Yes, how is my good, good friend?
152
00:08:11,727 --> 00:08:13,797
Well, we've sedated him for now,
153
00:08:13,847 --> 00:08:16,566
but the impact doesn't seem to
have done too much damage.
154
00:08:16,607 --> 00:08:18,199
He's obviously very resilient.
155
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:19,646
Like a cockroach...
156
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:22,685
And I love cockroaches, love them.
157
00:08:23,687 --> 00:08:26,247
- Will that be all, Officer?
- I think were done here.
158
00:08:26,287 --> 00:08:30,326
By all accounts this was an accident
and with no evidence to the contrary,
159
00:08:30,367 --> 00:08:34,246
- we're prepared to consider this matter closed.
- Oh, that is wonderful, that is so good.
160
00:08:34,287 --> 00:08:36,847
- Can I kiss you?
- Not while I'm on duty, sir, no.
161
00:08:36,887 --> 00:08:41,199
One more thing I should say, is that
although we consider this matter closed,
162
00:08:41,247 --> 00:08:44,717
- Mr Casey here may decide to pursue it.
- What do you mean?
163
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:47,042
He's talking about you being sued
by Mr Casey.
164
00:08:47,087 --> 00:08:50,397
You're always there for the negative things,
aren't you, Mikey?
165
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,119
My advice to you, Mr Harper,
166
00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:54,681
is to get your good friend here
to sign a disclaimer,
167
00:08:54,727 --> 00:08:58,242
absolving you of any blame,
just to be on the safe side.
168
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:02,806
What was that for?
169
00:09:03,767 --> 00:09:05,564
I've just gone off duty.
170
00:09:26,327 --> 00:09:28,363
Oh, where am I?
171
00:09:28,407 --> 00:09:30,204
Wakey, wakey, Mr Casey, feeling better?
172
00:09:30,247 --> 00:09:32,556
Oh, I had a terrible dream.
173
00:09:32,607 --> 00:09:35,041
Really? Did you dream
that I hit you with my car?
174
00:09:35,087 --> 00:09:36,156
- No.
- No?
175
00:09:36,207 --> 00:09:38,084
Because you did that in real life.
176
00:09:39,247 --> 00:09:42,762
- Enjoying the bed I hired for you?
- It's all right.
177
00:09:42,807 --> 00:09:47,801
Yes, it's an orthopaedic 2000 deluxe,
fully adjustable, 120 quid a day.
178
00:09:47,847 --> 00:09:49,246
And why are you doing this for me?
179
00:09:49,287 --> 00:09:53,599
Because I want you to be comfortable,
because that's what friends are for.
180
00:09:54,607 --> 00:09:57,201
So, if you just sign this little document here.
181
00:09:57,247 --> 00:09:59,715
- What is it?
- It's from the bed company.
182
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:03,919
A standard comfort report,
stating that you're comfortable.
183
00:10:03,967 --> 00:10:06,322
Oh, very well. (Coughs)
184
00:10:06,367 --> 00:10:09,643
I'm sorry, I'm a bit parched,
could I have a drink of water, please?
185
00:10:09,687 --> 00:10:13,316
Sure, sure, I'm here to serve, here to serve.
Be right back. Sign it.
186
00:10:14,967 --> 00:10:18,164
Hello, Mr Casey.
I see Dad got you to sign that disclaimer.
187
00:10:18,207 --> 00:10:20,641
- What disclaimer?
- Yes, Mikey, what disclaimer?
188
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:25,044
Disclaimer, please! It's a standard
comfort report from the bed company.
189
00:10:25,087 --> 00:10:28,875
Oh, yes, the comfort report.
What was I thinking?
190
00:10:28,927 --> 00:10:33,478
Look, Mr Casey, there were no problems
or damage to my car whatsoever,
191
00:10:33,527 --> 00:10:36,439
and I'm willing to sign a document
confirming that.
192
00:10:36,487 --> 00:10:38,398
So, if you'd just sign this.
193
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:43,645
So, let me get this straight,
you ran me over,
194
00:10:43,687 --> 00:10:46,121
and now you want me to sign this
saying it was an accident?
195
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,317
Simple, isn't it? Isn't it simple?
So simple.
196
00:10:48,367 --> 00:10:51,040
We seem to have a situation here, Harper,
don't we?
197
00:10:51,087 --> 00:10:54,875
First, you run over my dog,
then you run over me.
198
00:10:54,927 --> 00:10:56,838
Then, you make a mistake.
199
00:10:56,887 --> 00:10:59,242
- What's that?
- You didn't kill me.
200
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:04,880
Please, Mr Casey, just sign.
201
00:11:09,007 --> 00:11:10,486
(Rings)
202
00:11:14,367 --> 00:11:15,766
You rang?
203
00:11:16,447 --> 00:11:18,085
Take this tray away, will you?
204
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,005
Everything to your liking?
205
00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:23,641
The beef was too dry,
the vegetables too chewy
206
00:11:23,687 --> 00:11:25,598
and the trifle had a hair in it.
207
00:11:25,647 --> 00:11:27,080
Oh, yes, just the one?
208
00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:32,646
But, thanks to you, I'm hardly in a position
to get anything else, am I?
209
00:11:32,687 --> 00:11:35,884
I see a full recovery
for your sense of humour.
210
00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:41,798
So, Harper,
would you kindly water my yucca.
211
00:11:41,847 --> 00:11:43,883
What are you implying?
212
00:11:43,927 --> 00:11:46,236
It's quite literally
my most prized possession,
213
00:11:46,287 --> 00:11:48,084
and it's about to flower.
214
00:11:48,127 --> 00:11:50,561
It needs watering, but sparingly.
215
00:11:50,607 --> 00:11:53,041
Fine, I'll water your yucca.
216
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:58,366
Excellent. Keep this up, Harper, and I might
just sign that disclaimer for you, eventually.
217
00:11:58,407 --> 00:12:02,480
You're too kind. If that'll be all, I'll just finish
ironing your smalls and go to bed.
218
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,997
You really like ringing that bell, don't you?
219
00:12:07,047 --> 00:12:09,038
You forgot my bed pan.
220
00:12:19,487 --> 00:12:21,796
I'm well up for tonight, Janey.
221
00:12:21,847 --> 00:12:24,361
First bloke I see, I'm 'aving 'im.
222
00:12:24,407 --> 00:12:26,682
I don't care if he's 900 years old,
223
00:12:26,727 --> 00:12:29,560
and has got a wart on his tongue
and smells of cheese.
224
00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:31,086
I'm 'aving him!
225
00:12:33,367 --> 00:12:34,959
Well, hello, Sasha.
226
00:12:36,447 --> 00:12:38,278
Yeah, maybe the second bloke.
227
00:12:52,487 --> 00:12:53,886
Good morning.
228
00:12:56,407 --> 00:12:58,284
Sorry, would you two like some privacy?
229
00:12:58,327 --> 00:13:05,358
No, no, stay here, right here,
until I've... done, OK?
230
00:13:05,407 --> 00:13:07,796
Isn't that the sponge you use
to clean the car?
231
00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:12,796
Right, all done, all done, very good.
Where's Mikey?
232
00:13:14,207 --> 00:13:17,483
I suddenly need to talk about rugby
very, very badly.
233
00:13:20,407 --> 00:13:22,204
- Hello.
- Hello.
234
00:13:22,247 --> 00:13:25,364
- Mr Casey from next door, is it?
- Yes.
235
00:13:26,447 --> 00:13:30,156
So, word has trickled down to me
that you had a dog.
236
00:13:30,207 --> 00:13:37,283
Little Jemma, I couldn't have loved that dog
more if I'd given birth to her myself.
237
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,040
Lovely.
238
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:45,480
Well, back home in Wales, the village elders
used to tell me that I had a sixth sense,
239
00:13:45,527 --> 00:13:47,279
and I get a shiver down my spine
240
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:51,843
every time I pass that spot where your
Jemma was turned into bumper ketchup.
241
00:13:51,887 --> 00:13:56,324
Are you saying that you can communicate
on the spiritual plane?
242
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:59,120
I can try to make contact with her now.
Would that be OK?
243
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:00,725
Yes, please.
244
00:14:06,127 --> 00:14:07,719
(Whistles) Come by.
245
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,325
I see her.
246
00:14:14,047 --> 00:14:17,119
She wants to tell me
about the last time she saw you.
247
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:19,601
She was at peace, happily chewing a bone.
248
00:14:19,647 --> 00:14:22,445
Oh, yes, she used to love her bones.
249
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:26,844
Jemma says she looked up from the bone
and saw the tail lights of the car.
250
00:14:26,887 --> 00:14:28,366
There was the smell of exhaust
251
00:14:28,407 --> 00:14:30,841
- as the engine revved to life...
- Oh!
252
00:14:30,887 --> 00:14:36,519
...and finally she saw the black of the tyres
approaching, approaching fast, too fast.
253
00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:40,401
Your Jemma says that she tried to run away
but the car kept following her,
254
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:45,840
and then in the rear-view mirror she caught
a glimpse of the laughing face of Mr Har...
255
00:14:47,007 --> 00:14:48,406
What?
256
00:14:48,447 --> 00:14:55,000
Erm... Now I think of it,
I don't think that was your dog after all.
257
00:14:55,047 --> 00:14:58,403
- Why, what does she look like?
- Well, first she looked like this.
258
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,000
And then she looked like this.
259
00:15:04,247 --> 00:15:05,919
Bye, now.
260
00:15:09,727 --> 00:15:12,241
Ben Harper?
261
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,245
- Yes.
- I'm Felix Channing of Quality Insurance.
262
00:15:15,287 --> 00:15:19,360
I understand you have one of our clients,
a Mr Alexander Casey, staying with you.
263
00:15:19,407 --> 00:15:22,205
Yes, he's resting at the moment.
264
00:15:22,247 --> 00:15:25,205
I have an injury claim form for him to sign.
265
00:15:25,247 --> 00:15:29,604
But while I'm here, I'd like to talk to you
about your role in all of this.
266
00:15:30,607 --> 00:15:32,040
What do you mean, my role?
267
00:15:32,087 --> 00:15:33,600
You are Ben Harper, are you not?
268
00:15:33,647 --> 00:15:35,365
Did I say my name was Ben Harper?
269
00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:40,640
No, my name's Corey... McGerkhin.
My friends call me Stretch.
270
00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:46,718
So, your name is Stretch McGerkhin?
271
00:15:49,847 --> 00:15:51,644
I didn't quite think that through, did I?
272
00:15:51,687 --> 00:15:53,678
OK, come in.
273
00:15:55,007 --> 00:15:57,840
If you'd like to come this way
and take a seat.
274
00:15:57,887 --> 00:15:59,320
Can I get you a drink?
275
00:16:01,207 --> 00:16:02,799
I'll get right to it, Harper.
276
00:16:02,847 --> 00:16:06,396
This little insurance scam
is total bunk and we both know it.
277
00:16:06,447 --> 00:16:07,436
- Scam?
- Scam.
278
00:16:07,487 --> 00:16:08,476
- Bunk?
- Bunk.
279
00:16:08,527 --> 00:16:10,324
- Scam?
- Yes, scam.
280
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:12,085
- Bunk?
- Yes...
281
00:16:13,247 --> 00:16:15,715
Look, we seem to be getting stuck
so I'll explain it to you.
282
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,962
We've discovered
that another insurance company
283
00:16:18,007 --> 00:16:22,637
paid out a large sum of money to Mr Casey
on an almost identical claim three years ago.
284
00:16:22,687 --> 00:16:25,599
We do not intend
to make the same mistake that they did.
285
00:16:25,647 --> 00:16:30,084
Quite right, I see, I see.
So you think Mr Casey's faking his injury?
286
00:16:30,127 --> 00:16:32,004
- I know he is.
- Oh, right!
287
00:16:32,047 --> 00:16:34,766
So, how much money
are you expecting to get out of all this?
288
00:16:34,807 --> 00:16:36,957
What are you offering?
289
00:16:37,007 --> 00:16:40,716
No, how much has Casey promised you
for substantiating his claim?
290
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,076
No, no, no, no, I'm not in on this!
291
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,925
- I should hope not, because this is fraud.
- Fraud?
292
00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:47,036
- Fraud!
- Fraud?
293
00:16:47,087 --> 00:16:48,645
Yes, let's not start that again.
294
00:16:49,487 --> 00:16:51,284
Do I have to spell out how serious this is?
295
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:55,286
Look, look, I'm not in league with this man.
I loathe the man!
296
00:16:55,327 --> 00:16:57,397
Hey, I killed his dog, you know.
297
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:01,566
I very much doubt that.
298
00:17:01,607 --> 00:17:05,282
I hope I did, because they cremated
the poor little bugger.
299
00:17:05,327 --> 00:17:09,286
Well, if that really is the case,
the only way you're gonna clear yourself,
300
00:17:09,327 --> 00:17:13,240
is by providing us with evidence
that Mr Casey is perfectly capable of walking.
301
00:17:13,287 --> 00:17:15,517
Oh, I think I can handle that.
302
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:16,966
Yeah, OK.
303
00:17:17,007 --> 00:17:19,601
Hey, is there a reward
for catching a fraudster?
304
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:23,401
- You don't go to jail.
- Yeah, that works for me, that's good.
305
00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:28,724
Mikey... Mikey, where's your video camera?
306
00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:30,359
Why, Mum's away.
307
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:34,804
What curiously dark world do you inhabit,
Michael?
308
00:17:34,847 --> 00:17:36,758
- Come on, where is it?
- It isn't working.
309
00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:41,403
- Why do you need it anyway?
- Casey, Casey is faking his injury.
310
00:17:41,447 --> 00:17:45,076
If I can prove he's a fraud,
I'm off the hook.
311
00:17:45,127 --> 00:17:47,197
So, it's all an insurance scam?
312
00:17:47,247 --> 00:17:49,602
- You bet.
- What a slime ball.
313
00:17:49,647 --> 00:17:51,285
- Slime ball!
- I like his style.
314
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,884
- Ahh!
- Ah! Hello, neighbour.
315
00:18:03,927 --> 00:18:06,077
- Comfy?
- Yes, thank you.
316
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:09,358
- Could you get me a glass of water?
- OK, get it yourself.
317
00:18:09,407 --> 00:18:11,523
- I can't.
- You sure?
318
00:18:11,567 --> 00:18:14,035
- Yes.
- Oh, really, OK.
319
00:18:14,087 --> 00:18:17,204
Ahh, of course. (Laughs)
320
00:18:18,447 --> 00:18:19,846
Hello!
321
00:18:22,487 --> 00:18:23,476
What are you doing?
322
00:18:23,527 --> 00:18:27,281
I'm just opening a bottle of 18-year-old malt.
323
00:18:27,327 --> 00:18:28,726
Mm!
324
00:18:28,767 --> 00:18:31,327
Oh, do you love that smell?
325
00:18:31,367 --> 00:18:35,076
Just think, you were only 70
when they made this.
326
00:18:36,927 --> 00:18:41,079
Mm, I love that smell.
Pity you can't join me in your condition.
327
00:18:41,127 --> 00:18:42,685
- No?
- No.
328
00:18:42,727 --> 00:18:50,281
Oh, well, I'll just leave it up here.
Oh, yes, it'll be nice to come home to.
329
00:18:52,447 --> 00:18:55,359
- Where you going?
- I'm just popping out for couple of hours.
330
00:18:55,407 --> 00:18:56,806
Can I get you anything?
331
00:18:56,847 --> 00:18:58,644
- Well, actually...
- Good.
332
00:19:37,767 --> 00:19:39,598
How's the recuperation, Mr Casey?
333
00:19:41,087 --> 00:19:45,638
Fine. Could you get me a glass of Scotch
from the mantelpiece?
334
00:19:50,247 --> 00:19:53,364
It's time to water your yucca.
335
00:19:53,407 --> 00:19:55,284
Fine.
336
00:19:59,087 --> 00:20:01,123
- Say when.
- Stop!
337
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,676
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
338
00:20:06,407 --> 00:20:12,084
Oh, dear,
it seems I've over-watered your yucca.
339
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:19,522
Oh, dear, what a silly over-waterer
of a yucca person I am.
340
00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:27,003
Right, I know what would soak up
some of this water.
341
00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:30,879
These ashes I found.
342
00:20:30,927 --> 00:20:33,202
- Where'd you get those from?
- By your fireplace,
343
00:20:33,247 --> 00:20:35,841
where your little dog used to sleep.
344
00:20:35,887 --> 00:20:39,641
Oh, they wouldn't be... Jemma's ashes,
would they?
345
00:20:39,687 --> 00:20:41,086
(Barks)
346
00:20:41,127 --> 00:20:43,357
Do you know... I think they are.
347
00:20:43,407 --> 00:20:47,082
(Barks) Come on, Jemma.
(Barks) All right, come on.
348
00:20:47,127 --> 00:20:50,085
She's getting very overexcited.
349
00:20:50,127 --> 00:20:54,803
Down we go, yes, that's it! Dry out the yucca,
that's my girl, come on.
350
00:20:54,847 --> 00:20:58,123
You love trees, don't you?
Cock your leg, cock your leg.
351
00:20:58,167 --> 00:21:00,727
(Barks) Yeah, good girl, come on!
352
00:21:03,447 --> 00:21:05,677
- Harper.
- Yes?
353
00:21:05,727 --> 00:21:10,118
Those aren't my dog's ashes,
they're my wife's.
354
00:21:11,847 --> 00:21:13,246
(Urn smashes)
355
00:21:24,727 --> 00:21:26,797
What are you doing, stop it, stop it!
356
00:21:26,847 --> 00:21:28,997
It's taken me hours to fix that thing up.
357
00:21:29,047 --> 00:21:30,560
Hello.
358
00:21:30,607 --> 00:21:32,006
What's the matter with her?
359
00:21:32,047 --> 00:21:34,117
No idea. She just passed out
a few minutes ago
360
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:37,364
- right after she said "Let's go clubbing".
- What's she been drinking?
361
00:21:37,407 --> 00:21:39,716
Nothing, honest.
362
00:21:39,767 --> 00:21:42,076
What do you mean, nothing?
Janey? Janey?
363
00:21:42,127 --> 00:21:44,322
She just flaked out
right after we got in the cab.
364
00:21:44,367 --> 00:21:45,880
Janey, Janey?
365
00:21:45,927 --> 00:21:48,236
What've you done to her?
Janey?
366
00:21:48,287 --> 00:21:53,042
Anyway... the car's outside
and it's gonna be well expensive.
367
00:21:53,087 --> 00:21:55,555
Really, well, nice meeting you.
Off you go. Bye.
368
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:58,804
Oh, and tell Janey to give me a call later
if she's up...
369
00:21:58,847 --> 00:22:00,917
- Yeah, I'll see myself out.
- Yeah.
370
00:22:00,967 --> 00:22:03,435
Has she gone?
371
00:22:03,487 --> 00:22:06,524
- Has she what?
- Has she gone?
372
00:22:06,567 --> 00:22:08,080
Yes, why?
373
00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:09,560
Oh, thank God!
374
00:22:09,607 --> 00:22:11,438
I just couldn't take it any more.
375
00:22:11,487 --> 00:22:15,116
Oh, yeah, all that partying
finally taken its toll, has it?
376
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,317
No. Dad, I feel great.
377
00:22:17,367 --> 00:22:20,439
It's just, I don't know what it is,
378
00:22:20,487 --> 00:22:23,718
I've gone out every night
to the most amazing clubs,
379
00:22:23,767 --> 00:22:29,842
downing body shots off the taut oiled chests
of the fittest waiters with the most enormous...
380
00:22:29,887 --> 00:22:33,163
You're fond of detail, aren't you, Janey?
Please.
381
00:22:33,207 --> 00:22:37,280
Yeah, but another minute of that just sounded
like the most boring thing imaginable.
382
00:22:37,327 --> 00:22:39,318
I mean, Dad, the whole time I was out,
383
00:22:39,367 --> 00:22:43,201
all I could think of was how much I wanted
to call Mum and ask about Kenzo,
384
00:22:43,247 --> 00:22:47,718
or drive up to Scarborough
and just give my son a great big hug.
385
00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:49,439
Yeah, I know. I know.
386
00:22:50,447 --> 00:22:52,642
I, um, I don't know how to tell you this.
387
00:22:52,687 --> 00:22:56,521
What? You don't think I'm coming down
with something, do you?
388
00:22:56,567 --> 00:23:00,401
No, no, you're coming down with something
that's much, much worse.
389
00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:02,961
- What?
- You're growing up, Janey.
390
00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:09,606
Yeah, you are finally in touch
with what's really important in life.
391
00:23:09,647 --> 00:23:13,242
- You mean I'm just a loser?
- No, no, no, no, just the opposite.
392
00:23:13,287 --> 00:23:15,562
Janey, you have so much to look forward to.
393
00:23:15,607 --> 00:23:18,758
Janey, I can't begin to tell you
what Radio 4's like.
394
00:23:18,807 --> 00:23:22,800
Janey, Gardener's Question Time,
Thought For The Day,
395
00:23:22,847 --> 00:23:26,601
and Janey,
we can learn to play bridge together.
396
00:23:26,647 --> 00:23:29,844
It's gonna be great.
I wish your mother were here to witness this.
397
00:23:31,367 --> 00:23:33,801
- What's up, where you going?
- Clubbing with Sasha.
398
00:23:33,847 --> 00:23:37,044
- But you just said that was boring.
- Not compared to you.
399
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,320
Have a good night.
400
00:23:42,367 --> 00:23:43,766
Night.
401
00:23:46,487 --> 00:23:50,116
Have a nice restful evening, Mr Casey!
402
00:23:50,167 --> 00:23:51,839
Sleep well!
403
00:23:55,807 --> 00:23:57,206
Yes!
404
00:23:57,247 --> 00:23:58,760
(Laughs)
405
00:23:58,807 --> 00:24:00,877
It's show time!
406
00:24:12,647 --> 00:24:14,046
Oh, come on!
407
00:24:14,087 --> 00:24:15,679
(Beeping)
408
00:24:18,607 --> 00:24:20,006
OK.
409
00:24:21,047 --> 00:24:22,765
Fire! Fire!
410
00:24:22,807 --> 00:24:25,719
Everybody out of the house!
There's a fire!
411
00:24:25,767 --> 00:24:28,201
- Fire!
- (Beeping continues)
412
00:24:28,247 --> 00:24:30,203
Fire, oh, fire!
413
00:24:30,247 --> 00:24:31,726
Oh, my God, fire!
414
00:24:31,767 --> 00:24:34,645
Fire, everybody, everybody out the house!
415
00:24:34,687 --> 00:24:36,996
Everybody out the house!
416
00:24:37,047 --> 00:24:39,686
Oh, my God, serious fire!
417
00:24:39,727 --> 00:24:41,797
We've got a really big fire, you know -
418
00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:46,204
flames, heat, you know, big black clouds -
usual stuff.
419
00:24:46,247 --> 00:24:52,038
Oh, looking very nasty, bleak, very bleak.
Bleak House, ha! Fire!
420
00:24:52,087 --> 00:24:53,486
Fire.
421
00:24:58,207 --> 00:24:59,606
Fire.
422
00:25:02,007 --> 00:25:04,475
- You're not buying this, are you?
- Nope.
423
00:25:04,527 --> 00:25:06,245
But a good attempt, Harper.
424
00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:10,599
Just think, when all this is settled,
I shall be worth a fortune.
425
00:25:10,647 --> 00:25:12,160
They think I'm in on this.
426
00:25:12,207 --> 00:25:15,358
I think you're confusing me
with someone who gives a f...
427
00:25:15,407 --> 00:25:16,806
Fire, fire!
428
00:25:16,847 --> 00:25:20,920
All right, Mikey, valiant attempt
but he's not buying into it.
429
00:25:20,967 --> 00:25:23,800
Your bedroom's on fire.
The whole place is in flames.
430
00:25:23,847 --> 00:25:26,520
Please, Mikey, you're embarrassing yourself,
stop it.
431
00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:32,164
- Oh, my God, it is! There's a fire.
- Here he goes. I've got you, Casey!
432
00:25:32,207 --> 00:25:33,879
- Yes, come on!
- Fire!
433
00:25:33,927 --> 00:25:35,804
I've got you, Casey!
And again!
434
00:25:35,847 --> 00:25:41,240
(Laughs) Yes, Mikey, come on, Mikey,
I'm off the hook, I've got a pic...
435
00:25:41,287 --> 00:25:45,326
Smoke, fire, fire,
we've got a real fire.
436
00:25:45,367 --> 00:25:46,766
Mikey!
437
00:25:55,487 --> 00:25:57,125
Hi, Susan, darling.
438
00:25:58,607 --> 00:26:02,202
Yeah. Here?
Oh, no, everything's boring, really.
439
00:26:02,247 --> 00:26:03,919
Yeah, it's fine, yeah.
440
00:26:04,927 --> 00:26:07,725
Susan, you know how you like surprises?
441
00:26:10,967 --> 00:26:12,366
Yes, you do.
442
00:26:13,327 --> 00:26:16,080
You know how you've always wanted
the bedroom painted?
443
00:26:18,167 --> 00:26:19,600
Yes, you did.
444
00:26:20,847 --> 00:26:22,963
Well, I think we should go the whole hog, yeah.
445
00:26:23,007 --> 00:26:25,885
I think we should have
a whole new bedroom suite...
446
00:26:27,847 --> 00:26:29,963
and a whole new wardrobe...
447
00:26:31,207 --> 00:26:32,845
and lamps.
448
00:26:33,327 --> 00:26:34,726
Yeah.
449
00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:38,087
Did I burn the bedroom down?!
450
00:26:39,887 --> 00:26:41,286
Yes, I did.
451
00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:43,766
Bye, Susan, love you.
452
00:26:47,287 --> 00:26:48,686
Oh, that's very good.
453
00:26:48,727 --> 00:26:50,365
Oh, that's very convincing.
454
00:26:50,407 --> 00:26:52,557
No, this is for real, Harper.
455
00:26:52,607 --> 00:26:55,326
You trampled over me
when you ran out of the house.
456
00:26:55,367 --> 00:26:57,244
Oh, that's good.
457
00:26:57,287 --> 00:27:00,324
- So, you wanted to see me.
- Have a seat.
458
00:27:00,367 --> 00:27:02,323
Look, I've been thinking.
459
00:27:02,367 --> 00:27:08,681
If you go along with my story that the fire
was, you know, like an electrical fault,
460
00:27:08,727 --> 00:27:12,276
and if I go along with your car injury story,
you know.
461
00:27:12,327 --> 00:27:15,046
Yes, that sounds fine to me.
462
00:27:15,087 --> 00:27:23,165
Yeah? OK, well, if you'd sign this disclaimer,
saying that it was an accident,
463
00:27:23,207 --> 00:27:27,723
then I'll destroy all these photographs
of you walking.
464
00:27:28,927 --> 00:27:30,326
Agreed.
465
00:27:30,367 --> 00:27:33,279
And we go what, we go what, 50-50?
466
00:27:33,327 --> 00:27:34,999
Er... all right.
467
00:27:35,047 --> 00:27:37,163
Yeah? OK.
468
00:27:37,207 --> 00:27:39,118
Nice doing business with you, Mr Casey.
469
00:27:39,167 --> 00:27:42,398
Come on, let's have a little drink
to our agreement.
470
00:27:43,407 --> 00:27:45,159
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
471
00:27:45,207 --> 00:27:48,005
Hey, Dad, I meant to tell you
I fixed my video camera.
472
00:27:48,047 --> 00:27:50,845
- That's good, Mikey.
- Oh, I think it's gonna be very good.
473
00:27:51,847 --> 00:27:56,602
You see, to test it, I set it right over here
and started recording.
474
00:28:00,567 --> 00:28:03,684
What, you mean,
like it's been recording all the time?
475
00:28:03,727 --> 00:28:05,126
Yup.
476
00:28:05,167 --> 00:28:09,126
It recorded your little chat
in crystal clear picture and sound.
477
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:10,725
... 50-50?
478
00:28:10,767 --> 00:28:12,359
So, gentlemen...
479
00:28:13,767 --> 00:28:16,486
...I believe we have
our own little deal to carry out.
480
00:28:18,767 --> 00:28:20,997
What a slime ball!
481
00:28:21,047 --> 00:28:22,685
I like his style.
482
00:28:24,447 --> 00:28:26,483
Think you're good, Casey,
483
00:28:26,527 --> 00:28:29,678
all this boy needs is a cat and a bald head.
38085
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