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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:31,799 It was destiny that brought the great Sherlock Holmes into my life 2 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:39,799 that fateful day I met the finest most compassionate most beautiful man I would ever have the honor to know. 3 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,695 You look radiant this morning my darling. 4 00:01:42,696 --> 00:01:47,132 Green and proud. Not a blemish on your perfect skin. 5 00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:50,799 Oh you beautiful green succulent bitch. 6 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,132 I first met him after my return from the Afghan war. 7 00:01:54,133 --> 00:01:57,799 The war had left me with a broken leg, and a broken spirit. 8 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,466 I was in dire straits. 9 00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:03,354 Do you like this? Hmm? 10 00:02:03,355 --> 00:02:08,687 I was going to end it all, but that terrible moment became the greatest of my life. 11 00:02:08,688 --> 00:02:12,799 You unforgiving turd. He saw I was about to jump to my death, 12 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,799 and he immediately tried to stop me. Get out of the way! I''m going to jump! 13 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:22,355 Jump... into that garden, over there. Are you telling me not to jump? 14 00:02:22,356 --> 00:02:26,577 There are many other ways you could kill yourself. We had instant connection 15 00:02:26,578 --> 00:02:31,354 This man cares about me. A little cup of poison, dead. 16 00:02:31,355 --> 00:02:34,355 He gave me a reason to live. We'll go and have a drink. 17 00:02:34,356 --> 00:02:40,800 I will get my gun and fill your heart... full of bullets. 18 00:02:40,801 --> 00:02:45,440 Yes! Right in the heart. It's crazy, but I love you too! 19 00:02:45,441 --> 00:02:50,022 This man of great compassion. I'm losing patience with you. 20 00:02:50,023 --> 00:02:55,799 You're right! Life really is worth living! 21 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,802 No no no no! 22 00:02:58,803 --> 00:02:59,803 No. 23 00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:05,804 You saved me. I'm alive! Your giant vegetable saved me. 24 00:03:05,805 --> 00:03:11,800 Thank you my new friend! I'm in your debt forever! 25 00:03:11,801 --> 00:03:17,400 Oh God. It has been my honor ever since. 26 00:03:17,401 --> 00:03:24,741 John Watson. Yes, Hi. Sherlock Holmes. 27 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,444 Extra! Extra! Read all about it! 28 00:03:58,445 --> 00:04:00,689 Moriarty's crime spree over! 29 00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:04,415 Professor James Moriarty faces justice today! 30 00:04:04,416 --> 00:04:07,021 The Napoleon of crime on trial! 31 00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:11,188 - Greatest criminal in the empire! - That's fake news. 32 00:04:11,189 --> 00:04:13,754 Professor James Moriarty. 33 00:04:13,755 --> 00:04:16,479 You have been the organizer of half that is evil 34 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,807 and all that goes undetected in this great city. 35 00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:25,054 Today, you are charged with murder in the first degree, 36 00:04:25,055 --> 00:04:29,062 but all the witnesses have died. 37 00:04:29,063 --> 00:04:37,118 Without said witnesses, I have no choice but to set you free. 38 00:04:37,119 --> 00:04:38,961 Inspector Lestrade, 39 00:04:38,962 --> 00:04:45,253 you simply must take better care of your witnesses. 40 00:04:45,254 --> 00:04:46,936 Mark my words, 41 00:04:46,937 --> 00:04:49,501 Sherlock Holmes is on his way and, with him, 42 00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:52,547 the evidence that will damn you to the noose. 43 00:04:52,548 --> 00:04:56,475 Then we should all pray he arrives soon, for, on the strike of noon, 44 00:04:56,476 --> 00:04:58,919 I shall have to release this menace. 45 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,483 Sherlock will be here. 46 00:05:00,484 --> 00:05:10,504 He is about to burst through those doors right now. 47 00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:13,867 Stop this trial at once! 48 00:05:13,868 --> 00:05:15,952 I, Sherlock Holmes, 49 00:05:15,953 --> 00:05:19,439 have solved the case of Professor James Moriarty. 50 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,123 Wonderful. Wonderful, Holmes. 51 00:05:22,124 --> 00:05:25,210 A dramatic entrance worthy of your greatest achievement. 52 00:05:25,211 --> 00:05:28,055 Watson, did you notice my emphasis 53 00:05:28,056 --> 00:05:30,339 on "Professor James Moriarty"? 54 00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:31,782 Yes, with the finger, yes. 55 00:05:31,783 --> 00:05:33,585 Much better than the hand. Yes. 56 00:05:33,586 --> 00:05:36,510 Instead of the karate chop, I went to the index finger. 57 00:05:36,511 --> 00:05:38,274 Yes, it's the best one yet. 58 00:05:38,275 --> 00:05:41,039 This is the moment everyone's been waiting for. Right here. 59 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,526 Yes, and they're literally waiting for it now. 60 00:05:44,527 --> 00:05:46,169 Oh, yes. You must get dressed. 61 00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,531 Yes? Very well. 62 00:05:47,532 --> 00:05:49,255 There we are. There are your things. 63 00:05:49,256 --> 00:05:51,139 Remember, trial of the century. Yes. 64 00:05:51,140 --> 00:05:53,223 We have but... Oh, let's see now. 65 00:05:53,224 --> 00:05:55,307 Just 16 minutes left, Holmes. 66 00:05:55,308 --> 00:05:58,152 Speed is of the essence. - Nearly there? - Nearly there. 67 00:05:58,153 --> 00:06:02,079 A sniff of morning cocaine always helps the brain. Ah! 68 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,402 Come now, Sherlock. 69 00:06:03,403 --> 00:06:05,326 We mustn't let that trial conclude. 70 00:06:05,327 --> 00:06:09,133 For this occasion, I have selected a new hat. 71 00:06:09,134 --> 00:06:12,620 From now on, when people utter the name "Sherlock Holmes," 72 00:06:12,621 --> 00:06:17,101 they will picture this. 73 00:06:18,431 --> 00:06:21,075 Brilliant. Can we go? 74 00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,520 Your furrowed brow betrays your lying lips. 75 00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:24,843 Oh, no. 76 00:06:24,844 --> 00:06:26,245 Not to worry. 77 00:06:26,246 --> 00:06:27,527 Ta-da! 78 00:06:27,528 --> 00:06:29,532 Hey, there, cowboy. 79 00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:31,456 That's the one. That's the one. Bang, bang. 80 00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:33,058 We should leave, yes? 81 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,862 Oh! Aye, aye. 82 00:06:34,863 --> 00:06:36,585 I say, I like that one very much. 83 00:06:36,586 --> 00:06:39,150 You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes. 84 00:06:39,151 --> 00:06:42,636 Mrs. Hudson, what do you think of this one? 85 00:06:42,637 --> 00:06:46,483 Me? I'm just a housekeeper from the Glasgow slums. 86 00:06:46,484 --> 00:06:50,731 The likes of me telling the likes of you what to put on his noggin? 87 00:06:50,732 --> 00:06:52,134 Good point. 88 00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:57,545 Back to your monkey work, Hudson. 89 00:06:57,546 --> 00:06:59,829 - Perfect, right? - May I show you a few more hats? 90 00:06:59,830 --> 00:07:01,753 - No! - Someone's left a wee box. 91 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,115 What are you going on about? 92 00:07:03,116 --> 00:07:07,324 I never even heard anyone knocking. Did you hear anything? 93 00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:10,375 How very queer. 94 00:07:11,172 --> 00:07:14,457 - Queerer and queerer. - Hmm. 95 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:16,398 Very odd. 96 00:07:17,944 --> 00:07:19,466 Watson, no. 97 00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:20,789 Holmes, why are you getting so exercised? 98 00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:22,993 It's merely an empty box. 99 00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:25,878 Watson, this is sent from Moriarty. 100 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,561 He means to kill us. 101 00:07:27,562 --> 00:07:29,032 Listen. 102 00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:32,732 Shut that window. 103 00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:34,896 If this winged menace escapes, it may cause a pandemic. 104 00:07:34,897 --> 00:07:36,419 A killer mosquito? 105 00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:38,422 The insect is infected with African plague. 106 00:07:38,423 --> 00:07:40,867 One bite means death. 107 00:07:40,868 --> 00:07:44,113 Now, dance a Dutch jig. 108 00:07:44,114 --> 00:07:45,734 ♪ ♪ 109 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,606 You don't have to ask me twice to do a Dutch jig, but why? 110 00:07:50,607 --> 00:07:53,451 Your body heat will attract him to dine on your flesh. 111 00:07:53,452 --> 00:07:54,453 Brilliant. 112 00:07:54,454 --> 00:07:57,218 Hold! Don't move. 113 00:07:57,219 --> 00:07:58,901 Where is it? Right there. 114 00:07:58,902 --> 00:08:00,424 There. Right there on your forehead. 115 00:08:00,425 --> 00:08:03,950 Kill it, Holmes. I'm going to kill it. 116 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,754 There it is. Where? 117 00:08:05,755 --> 00:08:09,281 Hold, hold. No, no. Where? 118 00:08:09,282 --> 00:08:10,884 No, hold, hold. 119 00:08:10,885 --> 00:08:13,615 Is it biting? 120 00:08:13,891 --> 00:08:16,141 I hear it. 121 00:08:18,419 --> 00:08:20,509 I see it. 122 00:08:21,746 --> 00:08:23,268 The tip! 123 00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:30,429 Don't worry, boys. I brought a net. 124 00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:37,815 It is now seven minutes before noon. 125 00:08:37,816 --> 00:08:40,981 Upon the lowering of my gavel, 126 00:08:40,982 --> 00:08:43,586 the charges shall be dismissed. 127 00:08:43,587 --> 00:08:46,551 I shall raise my gavel in the air 128 00:08:46,552 --> 00:08:50,038 that so... and then bring it down 129 00:08:50,039 --> 00:08:54,207 briskly, making a satisfying bang, 130 00:08:54,208 --> 00:09:02,488 at which point the prisoner shall go free. 131 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,203 Angle of approach. 132 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,206 Compensate for warp in floor. 133 00:09:15,207 --> 00:09:17,931 Count for resistance due to dust motes. 134 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,615 Probable outcome, 135 00:09:19,616 --> 00:09:21,298 termination of mosquito. 136 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,983 Integrity of bee habitat maintained. 137 00:09:23,984 --> 00:09:28,784 Deadly bee swarm averted. 138 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,241 The mosquito's vanquished. 139 00:09:33,242 --> 00:09:34,923 Well done, Holmes. 140 00:09:34,924 --> 00:09:43,219 It's a simple matter of geometry, entomology and physics. 141 00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:46,426 Oh, my God! Oh, shit. 142 00:09:46,427 --> 00:09:50,233 Watson! Stop panicking! We can disable the queen. 143 00:09:50,234 --> 00:09:56,294 It's making them angry, Holmes! 144 00:09:58,650 --> 00:10:00,492 Oh, my God. What are they doing? 145 00:10:00,493 --> 00:10:02,055 They're turning this way! 146 00:10:02,056 --> 00:10:06,665 Just do anything! Help me! 147 00:10:06,666 --> 00:10:07,906 It's working! 148 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,550 It's not working! 149 00:10:09,551 --> 00:10:12,876 Get it off! It's not working! 150 00:10:12,877 --> 00:10:14,919 Holmes, we retreat. 151 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:22,080 Run for safety. I'll lead them away. 152 00:10:39,407 --> 00:10:42,617 Stop this trial! 153 00:10:50,308 --> 00:10:54,195 May I present to you the greatest detective of all time, 154 00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:58,002 solver of the unsolvable, untier of Gordian knots, 155 00:10:58,003 --> 00:11:04,855 bester of conundrums, the great Sherlock Holmes. 156 00:11:04,856 --> 00:11:07,580 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 157 00:11:07,581 --> 00:11:10,465 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 158 00:11:10,466 --> 00:11:15,256 Stop this trial at once! 159 00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:20,845 Thank goodness you've arrived, Mr. Holmes. 160 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:24,372 Now, what startling new evidence do you have for the court? 161 00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:27,257 I am the evidence. 162 00:11:27,258 --> 00:11:30,464 Inspector Lestrade, called upon me for assistance, 163 00:11:30,465 --> 00:11:34,471 for he lacked the mental capacity to solve it himself. 164 00:11:34,472 --> 00:11:37,076 The inspector is a handsome man, 165 00:11:37,077 --> 00:11:39,480 ruddy, strapping. 166 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,885 Legs like oaken trunks, 167 00:11:41,886 --> 00:11:43,728 teeth like ivory, 168 00:11:43,729 --> 00:11:46,614 and yet his wife is of hideous visage. 169 00:11:46,615 --> 00:11:48,417 Terrible to look upon. 170 00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:50,823 They say her gaze curdles milk. 171 00:11:50,824 --> 00:11:53,747 Who says that? Face like a pig's rectum. 172 00:11:53,748 --> 00:11:57,354 Jeffrey... Holmes! Close those pillowy lips! 173 00:11:57,355 --> 00:11:59,158 I am under oath! 174 00:11:59,159 --> 00:12:03,366 Actually, you're not under oath. Not under yours! 175 00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:06,171 Under my own sworn duty, as a detective. 176 00:12:06,172 --> 00:12:10,299 I cannot allow my brain to be clouded with feelings! 177 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:13,024 Now... I recall the day vividly. 178 00:12:13,025 --> 00:12:15,429 I arrived at the crime scene alone. 179 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:20,238 Completely and utterly alone. 180 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:24,045 I meticulously inspected every nook and cranny of that study, 181 00:12:24,046 --> 00:12:34,184 hunting for clues, much like a panther stalks its prey. 182 00:12:34,185 --> 00:12:36,188 And as I stood there, 183 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:39,595 I began to employ a groundbreaking new technique. 184 00:12:39,596 --> 00:12:41,358 Right there. 185 00:12:41,359 --> 00:12:44,083 Behold! Fingerprints. 186 00:12:44,084 --> 00:12:48,732 Imagine a print being taken from a finger. 187 00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,015 I love it. 188 00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:56,307 How do these prove Moriarty's guilt? 189 00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:57,778 Watson. 190 00:12:58,432 --> 00:13:01,476 Moriarty would never leave a trail of clues, 191 00:13:01,477 --> 00:13:03,280 which begs the question, 192 00:13:03,281 --> 00:13:05,083 why was this crime scene 193 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:08,930 so uncharacteristically littered with fingerprints? 194 00:13:08,931 --> 00:13:10,654 Good work, Watson. 195 00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:11,976 Thank you. I just thought of what you might have done. 196 00:13:11,977 --> 00:13:13,940 I compared these prints 197 00:13:13,941 --> 00:13:17,146 to those of the man standing before you. 198 00:13:17,147 --> 00:13:18,749 A perfect match. 199 00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:22,156 Unequivocal proof that this man 200 00:13:22,157 --> 00:13:24,641 - is innocent. - What? 201 00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,284 But if those are Moriarty's prints, 202 00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:28,368 then Moriarty is the murderer. 203 00:13:28,369 --> 00:13:30,892 This man is not Moriarty. 204 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,695 He sure looks like Moriarty. 205 00:13:32,696 --> 00:13:36,663 He's an impostor. His name is Jacob Musgrave. 206 00:13:36,664 --> 00:13:39,108 A complete look-alike, a doppelganger. 207 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:43,236 A patsy framed to hang for Moriarty's crimes, 208 00:13:43,237 --> 00:13:46,122 so that I may abandon my pursuit of him 209 00:13:46,123 --> 00:13:48,926 and he can begin life anew in America. 210 00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:52,694 Why would an innocent man agree to hang for Moriarty's crimes? 211 00:13:52,695 --> 00:13:56,300 Elementary. This man is terminally ill. 212 00:13:56,301 --> 00:13:59,146 Look at him. His pallid complexion. 213 00:13:59,147 --> 00:14:01,471 The palsy in his left hand. 214 00:14:01,472 --> 00:14:03,314 Wait. I know. He's an onanist. 215 00:14:03,315 --> 00:14:06,560 Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind. 216 00:14:06,561 --> 00:14:08,083 What's an onanist? 217 00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:09,887 He... Let's see. 218 00:14:09,888 --> 00:14:14,198 He pours his own tea. 219 00:14:14,256 --> 00:14:18,263 He likes to create his own sauce. 220 00:14:18,264 --> 00:14:21,869 - He is a saucier. - Huh? 221 00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:25,476 And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen. 222 00:14:25,477 --> 00:14:28,762 On a daily basis, he creams his own eclair. 223 00:14:28,763 --> 00:14:32,971 He is Romeo and Juliet. 224 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,054 That should do it. 225 00:14:35,055 --> 00:14:37,819 - This here. - Oh, he's a wanker. 226 00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:38,982 Thank you. 227 00:14:38,983 --> 00:14:40,825 Sorry, ladies. 228 00:14:40,826 --> 00:14:44,312 This chap here had nothing to lose by being executed. 229 00:14:44,313 --> 00:14:47,999 He was literally dying by his own hand. 230 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,602 It causes death, you see. 231 00:14:49,603 --> 00:14:52,848 The infallible Sherlock Holmes has indeed spoken. 232 00:14:52,849 --> 00:14:56,455 In light of his testimony, I order the release of the suspect. 233 00:14:56,456 --> 00:15:02,226 What? This is an outrage! Do not let this murderer free. 234 00:15:02,227 --> 00:15:05,632 Bang, bang, bang! Court is adjourned. 235 00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:11,243 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 236 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,888 Why are you cheering? 237 00:15:13,889 --> 00:15:15,572 Sherlock! 238 00:15:15,573 --> 00:15:18,738 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 239 00:15:18,739 --> 00:15:20,261 That couldn't have gone better. 240 00:15:20,262 --> 00:15:21,663 It couldn't have. 241 00:15:21,664 --> 00:15:23,106 And I tell you, that case was rather... 242 00:15:23,107 --> 00:15:25,991 It took us three years to catch him. 243 00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:28,676 If we release him now, we may never find him again. 244 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:32,123 Put aside your ego and admit I am right. 245 00:15:32,124 --> 00:15:36,210 I am afraid Moriarty's long gone to America. 246 00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:39,176 Whatever crimes Moriarty commits from now on 247 00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:42,697 are on your head. 248 00:15:42,744 --> 00:15:44,867 I quite like seeing Lestrade upset. 249 00:15:44,868 --> 00:15:48,228 Yeah. I do, too. 250 00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:54,966 Professor James Moriarty fled to the Americas 251 00:15:54,967 --> 00:16:01,987 and would never darken England again. 252 00:16:04,585 --> 00:16:07,911 What a fine ending to my fine Luc Au Revoir adventures 253 00:16:07,912 --> 00:16:24,712 All there is left to do now is to let the ink dry on this one copy of my manuscript. 254 00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:31,704 Holmes. 255 00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,121 Are you upset? 256 00:16:34,122 --> 00:16:36,365 It's just that Moriarty was the whetstone 257 00:16:36,366 --> 00:16:38,609 upon which I sharpened my mental blade. 258 00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:43,058 With him gone, not there to challenge me, why go on? 259 00:16:43,059 --> 00:16:45,903 Instead, I shall occupy my great, great mind 260 00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,267 with nutritional science. 261 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,790 My research suggests 262 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:52,556 that the sulfurous compounds of the common onion 263 00:16:52,557 --> 00:16:54,920 can increase your red blood cells. 264 00:16:54,921 --> 00:16:58,046 Vital for human health. 265 00:16:58,047 --> 00:17:03,737 Just bite it like an apple, eh? Mmm-hmm. 266 00:17:03,738 --> 00:17:08,907 Definitely takes four or five bites. 267 00:17:08,908 --> 00:17:10,670 Are we meant to eat the whole thing? 268 00:17:10,671 --> 00:17:12,394 The whole thing. 269 00:17:12,395 --> 00:17:18,445 Let the juice slither down the back of your throat. 270 00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:21,290 Congratulations, Holmes. 271 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,495 You're not only the smartest man in London, 272 00:17:23,496 --> 00:17:25,738 you shall soon be the healthiest. 273 00:17:25,739 --> 00:17:27,209 Indeed. 274 00:17:27,864 --> 00:17:31,069 Now, where's my opium? 275 00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:32,220 Um... 276 00:17:32,673 --> 00:17:33,754 Mrs. Hudson! 277 00:17:33,755 --> 00:17:35,918 Hudson! Hudson! 278 00:17:35,919 --> 00:17:37,069 Help! 279 00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:39,525 Hudson, Watson has stuck a carrot up my bum! 280 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,848 Hudson, help! 281 00:17:40,849 --> 00:17:42,931 Fire! Fire! Call the police! 282 00:17:42,932 --> 00:17:44,655 Hudson, your mother has died! 283 00:17:44,656 --> 00:17:46,538 You brain-dead bag of bones! 284 00:17:46,539 --> 00:17:49,544 Hudson! Hudson! 285 00:17:49,545 --> 00:17:50,666 Hudson! 286 00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:52,669 Hudson, where are you? 287 00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:53,820 Uh... 288 00:17:53,994 --> 00:17:55,876 Did you not hear any of that? 289 00:17:55,877 --> 00:17:57,840 We screamed "fire." Where? 290 00:17:57,841 --> 00:17:59,563 And we were screaming your name. 291 00:17:59,564 --> 00:18:02,809 You were just there in my bedroom? 292 00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:03,640 Oh. 293 00:18:06,257 --> 00:18:09,799 Sufferin' Succotash. The great Sherlock Holmes. 294 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:16,798 I'm Honor- You curl your R's, indicating a native from a less educated United State, 295 00:18:16,799 --> 00:18:18,799 Namely Missouri. 296 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:35,960 Smudge of ink on your waistcoat, index finger of your right hand calloused from a quill... 297 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,347 Shut up. Come on. 298 00:19:15,348 --> 00:19:23,001 No wonder my room always smells like fish pie and semen. 299 00:19:23,002 --> 00:19:24,524 This came for you. 300 00:19:24,525 --> 00:19:25,515 Hmm. 301 00:19:26,048 --> 00:19:29,374 Sealed by hands unused to manual labor. 302 00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:30,365 Hmm. 303 00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:32,850 Hmm. 304 00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:36,186 Saliva from a protein-rich diet of chicken kidneys. 305 00:19:36,187 --> 00:19:38,752 Why, Watson, it's from the Queen. 306 00:19:38,753 --> 00:19:39,743 Huh. 307 00:19:40,236 --> 00:19:42,599 Seems Her Majesty requests my services. 308 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,564 A crime that has baffled even her closest advisors, 309 00:19:45,565 --> 00:19:48,570 and only my singular intellect can solve it. 310 00:19:48,571 --> 00:19:49,973 Well, well, well, 311 00:19:49,974 --> 00:19:53,780 look who's back in the game. 312 00:19:53,781 --> 00:19:55,223 Watson, are you all right? 313 00:19:55,224 --> 00:19:57,106 I'm just very nervous. 314 00:19:57,107 --> 00:20:03,157 I've not met the Queen before. 315 00:20:04,201 --> 00:20:05,803 Deep breath. Your Majesty, 316 00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:10,532 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. 317 00:20:10,533 --> 00:20:15,473 My God, it's really her. 318 00:20:18,107 --> 00:20:19,097 Shh. 319 00:20:22,115 --> 00:20:23,585 Watson. 320 00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:26,563 Say something. 321 00:20:26,564 --> 00:20:27,925 I love you. 322 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:31,211 I know I am duty-bound to serve you, but 323 00:20:31,212 --> 00:20:32,934 let me just say, on a personal note, 324 00:20:32,935 --> 00:20:34,297 - I really like you. - Stop touching her. 325 00:20:34,298 --> 00:20:35,659 Just as a fan. 326 00:20:35,660 --> 00:20:37,544 Please, sir. 327 00:20:37,545 --> 00:20:38,946 Don't touch the Queen. 328 00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:39,777 Oh! 329 00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:41,991 Quite right. 330 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,475 Sorry, Your Majesty. 331 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,961 You look a lot smaller in person. 332 00:20:46,962 --> 00:20:49,045 Just stop. Just stop. Sorry. It's true. 333 00:20:49,046 --> 00:20:50,328 Just stop talking. 334 00:20:50,329 --> 00:20:52,732 Yes. Stop talking. 335 00:20:52,733 --> 00:20:54,094 I'm crazy about your look. 336 00:20:54,095 --> 00:20:55,858 What did I say? 337 00:20:55,859 --> 00:20:58,503 Am I still talking out loud? You are. You are. 338 00:20:58,504 --> 00:21:01,388 It's just the Queen. Yes. 339 00:21:01,389 --> 00:21:03,112 - Okay? - Okay. 340 00:21:03,113 --> 00:21:04,355 Your Majesty, 341 00:21:04,356 --> 00:21:07,560 how may we be of service to the realm? 342 00:21:07,561 --> 00:21:09,805 Mr. Holmes, pray follow us. 343 00:21:09,806 --> 00:21:13,812 There is danger about. 344 00:21:13,813 --> 00:21:15,335 What a looker, right? 345 00:21:15,336 --> 00:21:19,703 She is stunning in person. 346 00:21:19,704 --> 00:21:21,547 Fear not, Your Majesty, 347 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,992 Sherlock will allow no harm to come to you, and neither will I. 348 00:21:23,993 --> 00:21:27,278 Five, four, three, 349 00:21:27,279 --> 00:21:29,121 two, one. 350 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:30,912 Surprise! 351 00:21:31,046 --> 00:21:33,450 Thank you. Thank you. 352 00:21:33,451 --> 00:21:35,975 Had I been a non-genius such as yourselves, 353 00:21:35,976 --> 00:21:39,221 there's a 72% chance I would have been surprised. 354 00:21:39,222 --> 00:21:41,002 Oh! 72%. 355 00:21:43,109 --> 00:21:45,071 Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes. 356 00:21:45,072 --> 00:21:49,240 We wish you well and thank you for your many years... 357 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:55,331 Your many years of public service. 358 00:21:55,332 --> 00:21:57,054 So, Holmes. Yes. 359 00:21:57,055 --> 00:21:58,136 When did you know? 360 00:21:58,137 --> 00:21:59,619 Tuesday. 361 00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:01,090 Really? 362 00:22:01,223 --> 00:22:03,266 You were seven minutes late coming home. 363 00:22:03,267 --> 00:22:05,430 Stopped at the stationer's, 364 00:22:05,431 --> 00:22:07,634 confirmed by the scent of paper mulch. 365 00:22:07,635 --> 00:22:09,157 You have the nose of a bloodhound. 366 00:22:09,158 --> 00:22:12,163 Your mustache betrayed a dusting of crumbs. 367 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,327 Evidence of cake sampling. 368 00:22:14,328 --> 00:22:15,798 Guilty. 369 00:22:16,452 --> 00:22:19,938 And you purchased a case of pre-phylloxera champagne. 370 00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:23,825 You lack the self-esteem to buy yourself such an extravagant bottle. 371 00:22:23,826 --> 00:22:25,949 It's true. 372 00:22:25,950 --> 00:22:31,530 I don't deserve nice things. 373 00:22:31,842 --> 00:22:35,889 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow 374 00:22:35,890 --> 00:22:39,535 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow 375 00:22:39,536 --> 00:22:42,260 ♪ And so say all of us ♪ 376 00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:43,571 Bravo. 377 00:22:45,508 --> 00:22:46,949 Thank you. 378 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:49,394 That was delightful. 379 00:22:49,395 --> 00:22:50,877 Oh, a layer cake. 380 00:22:50,878 --> 00:22:52,960 It's shaped like a magnifying glass. 381 00:22:52,961 --> 00:22:53,951 Yes! 382 00:22:57,451 --> 00:23:01,938 The second layer is rather thick. 383 00:23:01,939 --> 00:23:04,463 There must be a few nuts in there. Uh, if I may. 384 00:23:04,464 --> 00:23:08,750 Would you mind? Here. Yes, of course. 385 00:23:08,751 --> 00:23:09,953 Do you see what I'm talking about? 386 00:23:09,954 --> 00:23:11,436 Yes. Yes. 387 00:23:11,437 --> 00:23:13,640 Ah. Raspberry jam. 388 00:23:13,641 --> 00:23:15,564 Mmm. My weakness. 389 00:23:15,565 --> 00:23:17,888 I know what I need. 390 00:23:17,889 --> 00:23:19,572 What the... He's getting an ax! 391 00:23:19,573 --> 00:23:22,937 Brilliant. Charge! 392 00:23:22,938 --> 00:23:23,768 Oh! 393 00:23:24,502 --> 00:23:27,146 Stand back. Back, everyone, I say. 394 00:23:27,147 --> 00:23:29,670 A murder in Buckingham Palace. 395 00:23:29,671 --> 00:23:32,997 Look, a note. There. 396 00:23:32,998 --> 00:23:37,318 Right under your nose. 397 00:23:40,452 --> 00:23:42,655 "A birthday present for you, Sherlock. 398 00:23:42,656 --> 00:23:44,980 "A crime to challenge your wits. 399 00:23:44,981 --> 00:23:47,064 "Stop me in four days' time, 400 00:23:47,065 --> 00:23:49,708 "or I will destroy London's greatest marvel and kill the Queen, 401 00:23:49,709 --> 00:23:52,353 "and I will rewrite history." 402 00:23:52,354 --> 00:23:54,879 Signed "Professor James Moriarty." 403 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:55,870 Hmm. 404 00:23:56,442 --> 00:23:58,205 This is Jimmy Gruber, 405 00:23:58,206 --> 00:23:59,848 the witness who disappeared, 406 00:23:59,849 --> 00:24:02,413 whose testimony prompted Moriarty's arrest 407 00:24:02,414 --> 00:24:05,058 and whom Moriarty swore to kill. 408 00:24:05,059 --> 00:24:08,909 And your conclusion? 409 00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:13,353 That Moriarty has killed again, as I predicted. 410 00:24:13,354 --> 00:24:17,321 Ah. The most obvious conclusion. 411 00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:19,164 No, this is definitely the work 412 00:24:19,165 --> 00:24:21,930 of someone who is going to extraordinary lengths 413 00:24:21,931 --> 00:24:24,856 to make it appear as if Moriarty committed these crimes. 414 00:24:24,857 --> 00:24:28,543 - Sherlock Holmes. - The Queen. 415 00:24:28,544 --> 00:24:32,069 We charge you with the task of stopping this criminal 416 00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:34,113 before he can do us harm. 417 00:24:34,114 --> 00:24:37,760 Solve this case on behalf of your queen and country. 418 00:24:37,761 --> 00:24:38,962 - I will. - We will. 419 00:24:38,963 --> 00:24:40,325 But, Your Majesty... 420 00:24:40,326 --> 00:24:43,090 Sherlock Holmes has never failed us. 421 00:24:43,091 --> 00:24:45,134 The bold ingenuity of this crime 422 00:24:45,135 --> 00:24:47,338 calls me back to the profession 423 00:24:47,339 --> 00:24:49,182 of detecting like a siren song. 424 00:24:49,183 --> 00:24:50,945 I won't let anyone hurt you. 425 00:24:50,946 --> 00:24:52,989 Watson. To the morgue. 426 00:24:52,990 --> 00:24:55,514 Lestrade, clean this mess up now. 427 00:24:55,515 --> 00:25:01,415 The game is a-starting. Yeah. 428 00:25:02,328 --> 00:25:05,572 Who is this copycat pretending to be Moriarty? 429 00:25:05,573 --> 00:25:08,138 Finally, a problem worthy of my brain. 430 00:25:08,139 --> 00:25:09,981 This birthday cake is delicious. 431 00:25:09,982 --> 00:25:11,384 Did you get a chance to try it? 432 00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:17,395 No, there was a corpse in it. Oh. 433 00:25:17,396 --> 00:25:18,798 Watson? 434 00:25:18,799 --> 00:25:19,629 Oh. 435 00:25:19,881 --> 00:25:21,803 Oh, my goodness. 436 00:25:21,804 --> 00:25:22,634 Oh. 437 00:25:23,447 --> 00:25:24,528 Finders keepers. 438 00:25:24,529 --> 00:25:25,679 Yeah. 439 00:25:27,014 --> 00:25:28,817 Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait out here? 440 00:25:28,818 --> 00:25:30,460 The last time you were in the morgue, you... 441 00:25:30,461 --> 00:25:34,628 Watson, I am a man of stout constitution. 442 00:25:34,629 --> 00:25:37,593 Yes, of course. I just thought, after the last time, 443 00:25:37,594 --> 00:25:39,718 with the... 444 00:25:39,719 --> 00:25:41,819 And the... 445 00:25:41,883 --> 00:25:44,086 Merely a bout of stomach influenza. 446 00:25:44,087 --> 00:25:45,489 Yes, but the time before that? 447 00:25:45,490 --> 00:25:47,813 Bad clams. And before that? 448 00:25:47,814 --> 00:25:49,536 I shook hands with a prostitute. 449 00:25:49,537 --> 00:25:50,527 Yes. 450 00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:54,466 No, no. Put that away. 451 00:25:54,467 --> 00:26:04,977 I'm not some vaporous, giggling, fainting maiden who... 452 00:26:05,969 --> 00:26:08,893 Oh, ye of little... 453 00:26:08,894 --> 00:26:11,538 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 454 00:26:11,539 --> 00:26:13,262 I think I'm starting to feel a bit... 455 00:26:13,263 --> 00:26:14,744 I wouldn't... 456 00:26:14,745 --> 00:26:16,788 Are you... No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. 457 00:26:16,789 --> 00:26:24,202 'Cause if you start to feel sick, then I'll start to feel... 458 00:26:24,203 --> 00:26:26,927 Surely, I must be done. Yes. 459 00:26:26,928 --> 00:26:32,678 Next to impossible to still... 460 00:26:35,865 --> 00:26:37,348 There you are. 461 00:26:37,349 --> 00:26:40,353 All done. Yes, there. 462 00:26:40,354 --> 00:26:42,357 Would you like some water? Did you say water... 463 00:26:42,358 --> 00:26:45,042 Sorry. I'm sorry. 464 00:26:45,043 --> 00:26:47,286 Shall we begin the autopsy? 465 00:26:47,287 --> 00:26:49,490 Oh, thank goodness these cleaning women are here 466 00:26:49,491 --> 00:26:50,773 to clean up this dreadful mess. 467 00:26:50,774 --> 00:26:52,576 Someone's made sick. Oh. 468 00:26:52,577 --> 00:26:55,061 My dear Watson, these women 469 00:26:55,062 --> 00:26:56,945 are far too well-dressed to be cleaning women. 470 00:26:56,946 --> 00:27:01,072 They're here to identify their well-to-do husbands' bodies. 471 00:27:01,073 --> 00:27:02,595 Sorry for your loss. 472 00:27:02,596 --> 00:27:05,120 Thank you, but I am the doctor. 473 00:27:05,121 --> 00:27:08,527 Look, Watson, grief has scrambled her brain. 474 00:27:08,528 --> 00:27:10,490 Mmm. She thinks she's a doctor. 475 00:27:10,491 --> 00:27:13,816 Fortunately, Miss, there's a real doctor here 476 00:27:13,817 --> 00:27:15,339 who may help you. 477 00:27:15,340 --> 00:27:17,063 Would you like some heroin? 478 00:27:17,064 --> 00:27:19,227 Dr. Watson, I presume. 479 00:27:19,228 --> 00:27:21,511 And you must be Sherlock Holmes. 480 00:27:21,512 --> 00:27:24,276 Dr. Grace Hart of Boston. 481 00:27:24,277 --> 00:27:26,040 A woman doctor? 482 00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:28,845 - What times we live in. - Yes. 483 00:27:28,846 --> 00:27:31,450 In America, we're much more progressive. 484 00:27:31,451 --> 00:27:34,336 I now make 30 cents for every dollar a man earns. 485 00:27:34,337 --> 00:27:37,020 What does "doctor" mean in America? 486 00:27:37,021 --> 00:27:38,864 It means "doctor." 487 00:27:38,865 --> 00:27:40,868 You're Dr. G. Hart? 488 00:27:40,869 --> 00:27:42,752 Of Boston? Yes. 489 00:27:42,753 --> 00:27:45,396 Holmes, we're in the presence of a pioneer. 490 00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:48,202 Dr. Hart's work with the use of electroshock therapy 491 00:27:48,203 --> 00:27:50,567 to cure female hysteria is groundbreaking. 492 00:27:50,568 --> 00:27:54,574 Yes, I proved the higher the voltage, the more demons are released. 493 00:27:54,575 --> 00:27:55,897 Well, of course. 494 00:27:55,898 --> 00:27:57,900 Some of my patients live as long as a week. 495 00:27:57,901 --> 00:28:00,586 "Doctor"? Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R? 496 00:28:00,587 --> 00:28:01,577 Yes. 497 00:28:02,590 --> 00:28:05,033 This is my aide, Millicent. 498 00:28:05,034 --> 00:28:08,921 She's very shy, but a wonderful traveling companion. 499 00:28:08,922 --> 00:28:12,207 Shall we proceed to the examination? 500 00:28:12,208 --> 00:28:16,296 Please. Our cadaver awaits. 501 00:28:16,297 --> 00:28:17,738 No, no, no. 502 00:28:17,739 --> 00:28:18,889 Here. 503 00:28:19,783 --> 00:28:21,906 Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell. 504 00:28:21,907 --> 00:28:28,198 Perhaps you would rather stay here and keep Millicent company. 505 00:28:28,199 --> 00:28:29,560 Sherlock Holmes. 506 00:28:29,561 --> 00:28:33,091 Charmed to meet... 507 00:28:33,169 --> 00:28:35,091 To meet you. 508 00:28:35,092 --> 00:28:37,215 Millicent is the subject of my research. 509 00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:39,380 She was raised by feral cats. 510 00:28:39,381 --> 00:28:41,664 She has the mental capacity of a four-year-old, 511 00:28:41,665 --> 00:28:44,789 but it is my belief that, with sufficient electroshock therapy, 512 00:28:44,790 --> 00:28:47,715 she can achieve the intellect of a six-year-old. 513 00:28:47,716 --> 00:28:49,799 We are truly in the golden age of medicine. 514 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,442 There's nothing left to learn. 515 00:28:51,443 --> 00:28:52,273 No. 516 00:28:54,409 --> 00:28:59,199 What a creature you are. 517 00:29:06,872 --> 00:29:13,044 You're devouring that onion with such passion. 518 00:29:13,045 --> 00:29:16,169 It's strangely arousing. 519 00:29:16,170 --> 00:29:18,012 Dr. Watson, I have always been taken 520 00:29:18,013 --> 00:29:21,019 by your unwavering devotion to Mr. Holmes, 521 00:29:21,020 --> 00:29:25,667 but haven't you ever considered something more? 522 00:29:25,668 --> 00:29:30,148 Perhaps a co-detective? 523 00:29:30,317 --> 00:29:32,079 He and I? 524 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:33,281 Co-detectives? 525 00:29:33,282 --> 00:29:34,272 Yes. 526 00:29:34,445 --> 00:29:36,689 Oh, the very idea! 527 00:29:36,690 --> 00:29:40,215 Uh... Solving crimes together? 528 00:29:40,216 --> 00:29:42,539 Laughing and enjoying the esprit de corps 529 00:29:42,540 --> 00:29:45,305 of two best friends pursuing a noble cause! 530 00:29:45,306 --> 00:29:46,907 Madness. No, dear. 531 00:29:46,908 --> 00:29:49,948 No. No, not I. 532 00:29:50,676 --> 00:29:52,616 Not here. 533 00:29:52,920 --> 00:30:03,620 Not even in my most rapturous moments of private fantasy. 534 00:30:03,621 --> 00:30:10,432 Anyway, let's go clean this cake-covered bastard, shall we? 535 00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:16,343 The wonders of modern medicine. 536 00:30:16,444 --> 00:30:18,848 Now, you're going to laugh, 537 00:30:18,849 --> 00:30:21,173 but I found the most important tool of an autopsy is... 538 00:30:21,174 --> 00:30:22,484 Music. 539 00:30:23,659 --> 00:30:24,649 Yes. 540 00:30:24,981 --> 00:30:26,921 You, too? 541 00:30:33,196 --> 00:30:35,961 ♪ Oh, my love ♪ 542 00:30:35,962 --> 00:30:40,209 This one always gets me in the mood. 543 00:30:40,210 --> 00:30:44,210 So begins the dance. 544 00:30:50,670 --> 00:30:53,113 You have some dribble. Hmm? 545 00:30:53,114 --> 00:30:59,334 Just a touch of dribble right... 546 00:31:02,051 --> 00:31:06,458 ♪ And time goes by... ♪ 547 00:31:06,459 --> 00:31:19,029 There is something so sensual about forensic autopsy, isn't there? 548 00:31:34,393 --> 00:31:36,315 You are a delight. 549 00:31:36,316 --> 00:31:43,249 Your eyes say more than words ever could. 550 00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:44,240 Hmm. 551 00:31:44,652 --> 00:31:49,140 The tincture of ammonia and scrotum. 552 00:31:49,141 --> 00:31:53,228 Hello, Inspector Lestrade. 553 00:31:53,229 --> 00:31:54,911 We have combed the manifests 554 00:31:54,912 --> 00:31:57,876 of every ship to set sail for the Americas 555 00:31:57,877 --> 00:32:01,123 and found not a single Moriarty. 556 00:32:01,124 --> 00:32:04,369 Moriarty's too cunning to use his own name. 557 00:32:04,370 --> 00:32:06,333 He's sailing under an alias. 558 00:32:06,334 --> 00:32:08,216 Ah, here we are. 559 00:32:08,217 --> 00:32:10,661 So, after a thorough... 560 00:32:10,662 --> 00:32:13,402 Very thorough. 561 00:32:13,948 --> 00:32:16,031 Stop. No, you stop. 562 00:32:16,032 --> 00:32:18,837 Examination of the body... 563 00:32:18,838 --> 00:32:21,281 And I must say, Dr. Hart made some 564 00:32:21,282 --> 00:32:23,485 beautiful lateral incisions there. 565 00:32:23,486 --> 00:32:28,655 No, watching you flay the skin from his face so gently! 566 00:32:28,656 --> 00:32:31,060 I would flay 1,000 faces for you. And the way... 567 00:32:31,061 --> 00:32:33,063 Just tell me what you found! 568 00:32:33,064 --> 00:32:34,054 Yes. 569 00:32:34,908 --> 00:32:36,550 Cause of death indeterminate. 570 00:32:36,551 --> 00:32:37,953 Indeterminate? 571 00:32:37,954 --> 00:32:39,355 What do you mean? 572 00:32:39,356 --> 00:32:41,760 It means he doesn't know. 573 00:32:41,761 --> 00:32:43,603 - Proceed, Watson. - Yes. 574 00:32:43,604 --> 00:32:47,731 We found a freshly applied tattoo of a cross 575 00:32:47,732 --> 00:32:50,577 and the numbers one and 20. 576 00:32:50,578 --> 00:32:52,821 I have the oddest feeling. 577 00:32:52,822 --> 00:32:55,266 It's like knowing, but the opposite. 578 00:32:55,267 --> 00:32:57,069 Meaning you haven't a clue. 579 00:32:57,070 --> 00:33:00,315 Who is this genius pretender who's taken Moriarty's place, 580 00:33:00,316 --> 00:33:04,604 committing crimes exactly the way he would? 581 00:33:04,605 --> 00:33:06,647 A fantastic new case. 582 00:33:06,648 --> 00:33:09,011 I'm aroused both mentally and physically. 583 00:33:09,012 --> 00:33:12,779 I was wondering, rather than working beside you on this case, 584 00:33:12,780 --> 00:33:15,664 I might work with you as a sort of... 585 00:33:15,665 --> 00:33:17,868 Grace called it a "co-detective." 586 00:33:17,869 --> 00:33:21,876 One cannot simply just make someone a detective. 587 00:33:21,877 --> 00:33:23,318 It must be earned. 588 00:33:23,319 --> 00:33:25,844 Well, I deduced you might say that, 589 00:33:25,845 --> 00:33:28,369 which is why, when we arrive home, 590 00:33:28,370 --> 00:33:31,494 I propose a game of chess. 591 00:33:31,495 --> 00:33:33,017 If I should best you, 592 00:33:33,018 --> 00:33:35,061 then surely I possess the mental power... 593 00:33:35,062 --> 00:33:37,626 Checkmate! Checkmate. 594 00:33:37,627 --> 00:33:40,151 What? We haven't started yet. 595 00:33:40,152 --> 00:33:41,834 You would have opened with the Queen's Gambit. 596 00:33:41,835 --> 00:33:44,078 Oh, indeed. A reliable first move. 597 00:33:44,079 --> 00:33:45,761 I would have countered with a Slav Defense. 598 00:33:45,762 --> 00:33:48,727 Oh! An audacious move. Quite unexpected. 599 00:33:48,728 --> 00:33:51,252 You would have panicked, thus exposing your queen. 600 00:33:51,253 --> 00:33:52,374 No, not my queen! 601 00:33:52,375 --> 00:33:53,897 Seeing your queen exposed 602 00:33:53,898 --> 00:33:55,941 would have compelled you to defend her. 603 00:33:55,942 --> 00:33:58,987 Indeed. It is my duty in chess as in life. 604 00:33:58,988 --> 00:34:03,235 Thereby neglecting my castle. 605 00:34:03,236 --> 00:34:05,186 Checkmate. 606 00:34:05,761 --> 00:34:07,122 Perhaps another game? 607 00:34:07,123 --> 00:34:09,046 Rock-paper-scissors. 608 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,570 Rock, rock, paper, paper, scissors, paper, 609 00:34:11,571 --> 00:34:14,496 rock, scissors, paper, rock. 610 00:34:14,497 --> 00:34:15,618 Dash it all! 611 00:34:15,619 --> 00:34:17,061 What about Battleship? 612 00:34:17,062 --> 00:34:19,746 D-3, E-3, F-3, and G-3. 613 00:34:19,747 --> 00:34:21,990 Damn it, you've sunk my battleship. 614 00:34:21,991 --> 00:34:24,515 You're a good man, Watson, 615 00:34:24,516 --> 00:34:27,280 but you're not ready. 616 00:34:27,281 --> 00:34:28,643 But why? 617 00:34:28,644 --> 00:34:35,484 If you were ready, you'd know why. 618 00:34:41,749 --> 00:34:43,912 Let the game begin. 619 00:34:43,913 --> 00:34:46,157 A piece for a piece. 620 00:34:46,158 --> 00:34:51,418 Two can play at that game. 621 00:35:07,398 --> 00:35:08,388 Mmm. 622 00:35:11,165 --> 00:35:12,955 Peekaboo. 623 00:35:15,413 --> 00:35:18,153 Ah. Checkmate. 624 00:35:18,218 --> 00:35:24,118 And to the victor, the spoils. 625 00:35:24,270 --> 00:35:30,010 You'll never be co-detective. 626 00:35:31,844 --> 00:35:34,849 Watson, I'm near a breakthrough. 627 00:35:34,850 --> 00:35:37,414 My hypothesis is the true cause of death 628 00:35:37,415 --> 00:35:40,780 is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo. 629 00:35:40,781 --> 00:35:44,788 But I need your help. 630 00:35:44,789 --> 00:35:46,391 You want me to be co-detective? 631 00:35:46,392 --> 00:35:47,994 Mmm-mmm. 632 00:35:47,995 --> 00:35:51,000 I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson. 633 00:35:51,001 --> 00:35:52,282 Sorry for what? 634 00:35:52,283 --> 00:35:54,126 Mr. Holmes left me no choice. 635 00:35:54,127 --> 00:35:56,610 May you rest in peace. What's she on about? 636 00:35:56,611 --> 00:36:02,862 All will be clear in three, two, one. 637 00:36:02,863 --> 00:36:03,984 Excuse me. 638 00:36:03,985 --> 00:36:05,828 I'll take that. 639 00:36:05,829 --> 00:36:07,792 It's just something caught in my throat. 640 00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:09,114 Oh, no. 641 00:36:09,115 --> 00:36:10,436 I poisoned you. 642 00:36:10,437 --> 00:36:11,427 Why? 643 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:13,482 To test my theory. 644 00:36:13,483 --> 00:36:15,125 Am I going to die? 645 00:36:15,126 --> 00:36:16,648 No, I have an antidote. 646 00:36:16,649 --> 00:36:19,694 Oh. But I need to see it play out. 647 00:36:19,695 --> 00:36:21,658 Now, let's see here. 648 00:36:21,659 --> 00:36:23,381 Redness around the mouth. Good. 649 00:36:23,382 --> 00:36:24,703 Help me. 650 00:36:24,704 --> 00:36:28,952 You will have temporary brain damage. 651 00:36:28,953 --> 00:36:30,835 Wake up, Watson. Wake up. 652 00:36:30,836 --> 00:36:33,119 We have work to do. Watson. 653 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,043 Who's Watson? I'll kill him! 654 00:36:35,044 --> 00:36:36,326 You son of a bitch! 655 00:36:36,327 --> 00:36:37,487 Violent aggression. 656 00:36:37,488 --> 00:36:39,492 Oh, please give me the antidote. 657 00:36:39,493 --> 00:36:40,854 Drama queen syndrome. 658 00:36:40,855 --> 00:36:43,179 Why am I doing this? 659 00:36:43,180 --> 00:36:44,501 Confused mime. 660 00:36:44,502 --> 00:36:47,507 Oh! Does this suit make me look fat? 661 00:36:47,508 --> 00:36:49,230 Body image dysmorphia. 662 00:36:49,231 --> 00:36:51,011 My eyes! 663 00:36:51,075 --> 00:36:54,721 Sensitivity to light. My eyes! It burns! 664 00:36:54,722 --> 00:36:57,366 Excruciating abdominal pain. 665 00:36:57,367 --> 00:36:58,928 Yes, it's confirmed. 666 00:36:58,929 --> 00:37:01,053 It was poison. Come, Watson. 667 00:37:01,054 --> 00:37:04,099 Let us not be late. 668 00:37:04,100 --> 00:37:05,502 Oh! Of course. 669 00:37:05,503 --> 00:37:07,453 Lactation. 670 00:37:08,508 --> 00:37:10,470 Why? Come along, Watson. 671 00:37:10,471 --> 00:37:14,959 I'll explain in the cab. 672 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,202 There we go. 673 00:37:16,203 --> 00:37:18,005 Oh, thank God for this antidote. 674 00:37:18,006 --> 00:37:21,291 I feel as though I've completely recovered. 675 00:37:21,292 --> 00:37:24,182 Yes, you have. 676 00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:26,621 There. 677 00:37:26,622 --> 00:37:27,864 So where are we going? 678 00:37:27,865 --> 00:37:29,987 The fact that the victim was poisoned 679 00:37:29,988 --> 00:37:33,995 suggests the killer lacked physical strength to overpower him. 680 00:37:33,996 --> 00:37:37,362 The tattoos you examined have an uneven quality. 681 00:37:37,363 --> 00:37:41,129 It leads me to believe that they were drawn by a one-armed man. 682 00:37:41,130 --> 00:37:43,613 A one-armed man. 683 00:37:43,614 --> 00:37:44,604 Yes. 684 00:37:45,017 --> 00:37:47,100 A weak man who would use poison. 685 00:37:47,101 --> 00:37:52,030 There is only one one-armed tattoo artist in all of London. 686 00:37:52,031 --> 00:37:55,356 The nefarious Gustav Klinger. 687 00:37:55,357 --> 00:37:58,441 Dorset Street! And don't spare the horses! 688 00:37:58,442 --> 00:37:59,964 Dorset Street. 689 00:37:59,965 --> 00:38:03,732 Home of drunkards, thieves, and hairy, old whores. 690 00:38:03,733 --> 00:38:06,577 And, if my theory is correct, the killer. 691 00:38:06,578 --> 00:38:09,638 Hello, gorgeous. 692 00:38:10,025 --> 00:38:15,715 Though all is calm now, we must be on highest alert. 693 00:38:15,716 --> 00:38:19,040 Shall we ask someone if they've seen our one-armed Mr. Klinger? 694 00:38:19,041 --> 00:38:22,568 This neighborhood does not welcome curious outsiders. 695 00:38:22,569 --> 00:38:24,532 Excuse me. Have you the time? 696 00:38:24,533 --> 00:38:27,978 Not for you, outsider. 697 00:38:27,979 --> 00:38:29,701 Merciful God. 698 00:38:29,702 --> 00:38:31,385 We must blend in. 699 00:38:31,386 --> 00:38:34,110 Fortunately, my time tripping the boards 700 00:38:34,111 --> 00:38:35,472 has made me a master of disguise. 701 00:38:35,473 --> 00:38:36,463 Yes. 702 00:38:43,208 --> 00:38:44,198 You. 703 00:38:44,330 --> 00:38:46,093 What have you done with Sherlock? 704 00:38:46,094 --> 00:38:48,336 Why, Watson, 705 00:38:48,337 --> 00:38:51,067 I never left. 706 00:38:51,745 --> 00:38:53,507 Amazing. Yes, I know. 707 00:38:53,508 --> 00:38:55,911 Yes, you've outdone yourself this time. 708 00:38:55,912 --> 00:38:57,222 Now... 709 00:38:57,756 --> 00:38:59,117 Huh? No. 710 00:38:59,118 --> 00:39:00,640 Still me. It's you? 711 00:39:00,641 --> 00:39:02,403 It's still Sherlock. 712 00:39:02,404 --> 00:39:04,447 All right. Rest assured. 713 00:39:04,448 --> 00:39:05,850 It's very convincing. 714 00:39:05,851 --> 00:39:07,693 Now for your disguise. 715 00:39:07,694 --> 00:39:11,340 Oh, what will it be? 716 00:39:11,341 --> 00:39:15,341 Yes. You, my friend, 717 00:39:15,469 --> 00:39:20,918 shall play a down-on-your-luck horseshit salesman. 718 00:39:20,919 --> 00:39:22,859 Oh. Yes. 719 00:39:23,164 --> 00:39:25,006 Yes. Yes. 720 00:39:25,007 --> 00:39:28,052 Come, Watson. We have a one-armed killer to catch. 721 00:39:28,053 --> 00:39:29,735 Get into character. 722 00:39:29,736 --> 00:39:31,459 - Horseshit for sale! - There you go. 723 00:39:31,460 --> 00:39:33,542 - Who will buy my horse's shit? - I'll take some. 724 00:39:33,543 --> 00:39:37,390 No one must know our true purpose. Mmm. 725 00:39:37,391 --> 00:39:39,033 What you toffs want? 726 00:39:39,034 --> 00:39:46,327 To buy a pint for any man who can raise two hands. 727 00:39:46,328 --> 00:39:48,772 Every man has both arms. 728 00:39:48,773 --> 00:39:50,855 Klinger isn't here. 729 00:39:50,856 --> 00:39:53,020 Our journey continues. 730 00:39:53,021 --> 00:39:57,508 Blend in like a common oaf. Yes. 731 00:39:57,509 --> 00:39:59,391 Keep drinking. We need to fit in. 732 00:39:59,392 --> 00:40:00,862 Cheers. 733 00:40:01,798 --> 00:40:03,119 Cheers! 734 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,490 More, more, more! 735 00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:11,381 Oi! Oi! Oi! 736 00:40:17,467 --> 00:40:18,949 They have boxing here. 737 00:40:18,950 --> 00:40:20,512 I don't care if he's small! 738 00:40:20,513 --> 00:40:24,600 - Kill! - Come on, fight! 739 00:40:24,601 --> 00:40:26,042 Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger? 740 00:40:26,043 --> 00:40:32,054 Who cares about Klinger? Exactly! 741 00:40:32,055 --> 00:40:33,336 Release the child! 742 00:40:33,337 --> 00:40:35,300 Let go of that boy! I want him dead! 743 00:40:35,301 --> 00:40:39,301 Sweet river of piss. 744 00:40:39,349 --> 00:40:41,953 You have real force there. 745 00:40:41,954 --> 00:40:43,475 Arc of stream. 746 00:40:43,476 --> 00:40:44,959 Direction of wind. 747 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,882 Compensate for shy penis. 748 00:40:46,883 --> 00:40:49,327 Avoid splash on shoes. 749 00:40:49,328 --> 00:40:51,370 And release fluids. 750 00:40:51,371 --> 00:40:52,973 Oh, my goodness. 751 00:40:52,974 --> 00:40:56,501 Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants. 752 00:40:56,502 --> 00:40:58,183 You really are a genius. 753 00:40:58,184 --> 00:41:00,588 Oh, watch it. Oh, sorry. 754 00:41:00,589 --> 00:41:03,193 I should like to send a telegram. 755 00:41:03,194 --> 00:41:05,614 Grace. Stop. 756 00:41:07,082 --> 00:41:11,082 Are you awake? Stop. 757 00:41:11,850 --> 00:41:14,254 Uh, you're such a pretty doctor lady. 758 00:41:14,255 --> 00:41:15,245 Ooh! 759 00:41:16,058 --> 00:41:17,821 Are you quite sure this is a good idea? 760 00:41:17,822 --> 00:41:19,424 This is wonderful. 761 00:41:19,425 --> 00:41:22,630 The combination of the late hour and your drunkenness 762 00:41:22,631 --> 00:41:26,116 allows for communication of exceptional honesty. 763 00:41:26,117 --> 00:41:27,239 Quite right. 764 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:29,002 I will call it an intoxigram. 765 00:41:29,003 --> 00:41:31,887 And no one shall ever regret sending one. 766 00:41:31,888 --> 00:41:34,732 Now, lay bare the fruits of your inebriation. 767 00:41:34,733 --> 00:41:36,456 Ask her what she's wearing. 768 00:41:36,457 --> 00:41:38,821 What are you wearing? Stop. 769 00:41:38,822 --> 00:41:39,582 Bloomers? 770 00:41:39,583 --> 00:41:41,345 A brassiere? 771 00:41:41,346 --> 00:41:43,870 I'd wager you'd look good in anything. 772 00:41:43,871 --> 00:41:45,153 Wonderful. Stop. 773 00:41:45,154 --> 00:41:47,277 Shall I ask what Millie thinks about you? 774 00:41:47,278 --> 00:41:48,428 Um... 775 00:41:49,161 --> 00:41:51,485 I don't care. Sure. Why not? 776 00:41:51,486 --> 00:41:53,729 What does Millie think of Sherlock? 777 00:41:53,730 --> 00:41:57,496 Does Millie ever drip wax over her body? 778 00:41:57,497 --> 00:42:00,101 Hot wax. Stop. 779 00:42:00,102 --> 00:42:01,785 - Okay. That's enough. - Yeah, I think so. 780 00:42:01,786 --> 00:42:05,786 Describe your loins. Ah Yes. 781 00:42:05,787 --> 00:42:11,021 Hot Loins. Hot Loins for sale. 782 00:42:11,022 --> 00:42:15,009 Come and get them while they're hot. Hot steamy loins. 783 00:42:15,010 --> 00:42:19,098 Now show her how she makes you feel. Huh? 784 00:42:19,099 --> 00:42:22,022 Just go ahead. Display it. 785 00:42:22,023 --> 00:42:23,333 There. 786 00:42:23,986 --> 00:42:28,132 Don't look away! Look at it! 787 00:42:28,133 --> 00:42:29,357 Telegraph a picture of this. 788 00:42:29,358 --> 00:42:32,523 And make sure you get the banger and the beans. 789 00:42:32,524 --> 00:42:34,166 Focus on the mushroom. 790 00:42:34,167 --> 00:42:36,811 Are you positive I shan't regret this in the morning? 791 00:42:36,812 --> 00:42:38,774 You absolutely will. 792 00:42:38,775 --> 00:42:40,378 Silence, you! Say it again. 793 00:42:40,379 --> 00:42:41,740 Say it again. I dare you. Oh! 794 00:42:41,741 --> 00:42:43,424 Please say it. Please say it again. 795 00:42:43,425 --> 00:42:44,906 Do you think you would be the first man I've killed? 796 00:42:44,907 --> 00:42:50,277 I have the penis of a baby doll. 797 00:42:50,278 --> 00:42:56,328 It's just a statement of fact. 798 00:42:56,890 --> 00:42:58,773 Oh, well, Watson, 799 00:42:58,774 --> 00:43:01,258 after a night of drinking, I could eat a whole pie. 800 00:43:01,259 --> 00:43:03,541 Oh, no, it's cakes for me, my friend. 801 00:43:03,542 --> 00:43:05,105 Ah! Cakes, indeed! 802 00:43:05,106 --> 00:43:09,393 Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes. 803 00:43:09,394 --> 00:43:11,397 We should open a restaurant called 804 00:43:11,398 --> 00:43:15,284 the International House of Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes. 805 00:43:15,285 --> 00:43:18,450 Yes, and you can only eat there after a night of drinking. 806 00:43:18,451 --> 00:43:20,534 Well, speaking of the night, I fear it's a night wasted. 807 00:43:20,535 --> 00:43:23,459 No sign of Klinger anywhere. Mmm. 808 00:43:23,460 --> 00:43:25,383 Not so fast, Watson. 809 00:43:25,384 --> 00:43:28,309 Look at those two men and their tattoos. 810 00:43:28,310 --> 00:43:29,952 I don't understand. 811 00:43:29,953 --> 00:43:32,477 We haven't been able to find the tattoo artist. 812 00:43:32,478 --> 00:43:39,370 Perhaps we should follow the tattoos. 813 00:43:39,371 --> 00:43:40,813 A gymnasium? 814 00:43:40,814 --> 00:43:42,897 You really think Klinger would be here, Holmes? 815 00:43:42,898 --> 00:43:45,982 Look alive, Watson. He could be anywhere. 816 00:43:45,983 --> 00:43:48,548 Three, two, one. 817 00:43:48,549 --> 00:43:51,232 Pick it up. Pick it up. That's it. 818 00:43:51,233 --> 00:43:53,557 Out with the bad air, in with the good. 819 00:43:53,558 --> 00:43:55,240 Look at these health nuts. 820 00:43:55,241 --> 00:43:57,204 Big deep breath. 821 00:43:57,205 --> 00:43:58,927 Obsessed with the purifying effects of smoke. 822 00:43:58,928 --> 00:44:02,654 All right, good lungful of the cleansing vapors. 823 00:44:02,655 --> 00:44:05,460 I don't think he's here, Holmes. 824 00:44:05,461 --> 00:44:07,664 Hello, hello, hello! 825 00:44:07,665 --> 00:44:09,627 Sherlock Holmes. 826 00:44:09,628 --> 00:44:10,458 Ah. 827 00:44:11,191 --> 00:44:12,954 You must be Gustav Klinger, 828 00:44:12,955 --> 00:44:16,160 the one-armed tattoo artist of Dorset Street. 829 00:44:16,161 --> 00:44:19,051 Looks like it. 830 00:44:20,008 --> 00:44:23,534 Gustav Klinger, I accuse you of poisoning Jimmy Gruber 831 00:44:23,535 --> 00:44:25,738 and baking him into a large cake. 832 00:44:25,739 --> 00:44:30,266 A deliciously large cake that I baked myself. 833 00:44:30,267 --> 00:44:31,830 Oh, please. 834 00:44:31,831 --> 00:44:33,272 How dare you! 835 00:44:33,273 --> 00:44:35,596 You did not bake that cake. 836 00:44:35,597 --> 00:44:38,201 Not only did I bake it. I decorated it, too. 837 00:44:38,202 --> 00:44:39,444 Impossible. 838 00:44:39,445 --> 00:44:40,767 It's got a frosting attachment. 839 00:44:40,768 --> 00:44:42,610 You're trying to tell me 840 00:44:42,611 --> 00:44:45,255 that a one-armed man made a professional, bakery-quality cake 841 00:44:45,256 --> 00:44:46,577 fit for the Queen. Watson. 842 00:44:46,578 --> 00:44:48,902 It's just... It... It doesn't matter 843 00:44:48,903 --> 00:44:50,625 if he baked the cake or not. It really bugs... I know. 844 00:44:50,626 --> 00:44:51,947 - It really... - Best cake I've ever eaten. 845 00:44:51,948 --> 00:44:54,112 I did bake the cake. All right, fine. 846 00:44:54,113 --> 00:44:55,795 You "baked the cake." 847 00:44:55,796 --> 00:44:59,041 I didn't "bake a cake." 848 00:44:59,042 --> 00:45:00,203 I baked a cake. 849 00:45:00,204 --> 00:45:01,646 Then you admit it. 850 00:45:01,647 --> 00:45:03,450 You killed Jimmy Gruber. 851 00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:05,573 And what if I did, Mr. Holmes? 852 00:45:05,574 --> 00:45:08,660 It's not as if you're in a position to do anything about it. 853 00:45:08,661 --> 00:45:11,665 He's right, Sherlock Holmes. 854 00:45:11,666 --> 00:45:15,272 You've walked straight into our trap. 855 00:45:15,273 --> 00:45:17,276 Moriarty. Quiet, Watson. 856 00:45:17,277 --> 00:45:21,123 In the name of the queen, I arrest you both. 857 00:45:21,124 --> 00:45:23,488 Oh, come, Sherlock. 858 00:45:23,489 --> 00:45:25,331 You don't think it'll be that easy. 859 00:45:25,332 --> 00:45:28,497 You won't be leaving here alive, Mr. Holmes, 860 00:45:28,498 --> 00:45:36,512 unless, of course, you fight your way out of the Hexagon. 861 00:45:36,513 --> 00:45:39,158 Where are you pointing? 862 00:45:39,159 --> 00:45:40,280 There. 863 00:45:40,281 --> 00:45:42,163 This way or that way? 864 00:45:42,164 --> 00:45:43,474 There. 865 00:45:43,527 --> 00:45:44,929 - Oh. - The Hexagon. 866 00:45:44,930 --> 00:45:47,092 But I won't fight a one-armed man. 867 00:45:47,093 --> 00:45:50,059 Oh, no. I've got this, Sherlock. 868 00:45:50,060 --> 00:45:52,623 It won't be the first time I've fought a cripple. 869 00:45:52,624 --> 00:45:53,866 Oh, uh... 870 00:45:53,867 --> 00:45:55,389 You won't be fighting me. 871 00:45:55,390 --> 00:45:57,552 Nah, nah, nah. 872 00:45:57,553 --> 00:45:59,356 You're fighting my mate. 873 00:45:59,357 --> 00:46:01,617 Meet Brawn. 874 00:46:19,155 --> 00:46:21,725 Oh, come on. 875 00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:26,641 Well, I call bullshit. 876 00:46:27,571 --> 00:46:30,094 I fear it might be suicide to fight this man. 877 00:46:30,095 --> 00:46:36,066 I think it's mostly psychological. 878 00:46:36,067 --> 00:46:38,270 I'm psychologically scared shitless right now. 879 00:46:38,271 --> 00:46:42,121 Fight! Fight! Fight! 880 00:46:43,441 --> 00:46:45,323 Okay. Okay. 881 00:46:45,324 --> 00:46:48,289 But if you want to watch this fight, you have to pay. 882 00:46:48,290 --> 00:46:50,052 You have to pay to view it. 883 00:46:50,053 --> 00:46:53,139 This is a pay-to-view-it fight. 884 00:46:53,140 --> 00:46:55,262 Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair, 885 00:46:55,263 --> 00:46:57,066 but if you split it among a few friends 886 00:46:57,067 --> 00:46:58,749 and buy some beers, some pizza, 887 00:46:58,750 --> 00:47:01,073 it could be a fun thing to do with the guys. 888 00:47:01,074 --> 00:47:03,324 It's time! 889 00:47:05,884 --> 00:47:10,531 Let's get ready to scuffle! 890 00:47:10,532 --> 00:47:12,856 Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle! 891 00:47:12,857 --> 00:47:13,978 Nice! 892 00:47:13,979 --> 00:47:15,340 What is she doing here? 893 00:47:15,341 --> 00:47:16,904 It's 6:00 in the morning. 894 00:47:16,905 --> 00:47:18,586 Holmes, I don't know why... 895 00:47:18,587 --> 00:47:20,310 Yes... but that really jacked me up. 896 00:47:20,311 --> 00:47:22,274 Ah! I think I might stand a chance. 897 00:47:22,275 --> 00:47:24,198 It reminds me of Istanbul. 898 00:47:24,199 --> 00:47:27,002 Exactly. And what did I beat in Istanbul? 899 00:47:27,003 --> 00:47:28,726 Syphilis! Syphilis! Exactly. 900 00:47:28,727 --> 00:47:30,730 Go get him. All right. 901 00:47:30,731 --> 00:47:31,892 Come on! 902 00:47:31,893 --> 00:47:33,335 "Come on"? You come on! 903 00:47:33,336 --> 00:47:34,326 You! 904 00:47:34,899 --> 00:47:39,219 You mountain of flesh. 905 00:47:45,359 --> 00:47:47,561 Your turn, Mr. Holmes! 906 00:47:47,562 --> 00:47:54,242 Yes, I know. Of course I'm next. 907 00:47:54,977 --> 00:47:57,421 Opponent, 350 pounds. 908 00:47:57,422 --> 00:47:58,983 Use pipe. 909 00:47:58,984 --> 00:48:03,352 Create diversion to distract his gaze. 910 00:48:03,353 --> 00:48:05,435 Plan of attack, 911 00:48:05,436 --> 00:48:08,321 surprise first blow to center of mass. 912 00:48:08,322 --> 00:48:11,126 Gracefully dodge counterpunch. 913 00:48:11,127 --> 00:48:14,372 Employ visual impairment. 914 00:48:14,373 --> 00:48:16,938 Easily duck wild swing. 915 00:48:16,939 --> 00:48:20,224 Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method 916 00:48:20,225 --> 00:48:23,590 to disrupt his balance. 917 00:48:23,591 --> 00:48:24,873 Grab facial hair. 918 00:48:24,874 --> 00:48:26,636 Use for leverage. 919 00:48:26,637 --> 00:48:30,487 Okinawan beard flip. 920 00:48:31,125 --> 00:48:33,529 Enemy incapacitated. 921 00:48:33,530 --> 00:48:35,790 Catch pipe. 922 00:48:35,814 --> 00:48:41,084 Revel in crowd's adulation. 923 00:48:53,568 --> 00:48:55,188 Oh, no. 924 00:48:58,057 --> 00:48:59,218 Good show, Watson. 925 00:48:59,219 --> 00:49:02,424 Thank you, Holmes. 926 00:49:02,425 --> 00:49:04,228 Break his pelvis. 927 00:49:04,229 --> 00:49:06,329 Go! Again! 928 00:49:06,472 --> 00:49:11,732 Club him like a baby seal. 929 00:49:13,927 --> 00:49:15,890 What have I done? No, you're fine. 930 00:49:15,891 --> 00:49:17,653 Okay. Now, 931 00:49:17,654 --> 00:49:21,661 tell us everything you know about the plot to kill the Queen. 932 00:49:21,662 --> 00:49:22,942 All right. 933 00:49:22,943 --> 00:49:26,790 I'll tell you everything I know. 934 00:49:26,791 --> 00:49:31,039 I've been stabbed in the back. 935 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:32,321 Meaning? Oh. 936 00:49:32,322 --> 00:49:34,124 Metaphorically speaking, yes. 937 00:49:34,125 --> 00:49:39,254 No, I've literally been stabbed in the back... 938 00:49:39,255 --> 00:49:43,575 Holmes, he's escaping. 939 00:49:49,555 --> 00:49:51,237 So Moriarty is in England. 940 00:49:51,238 --> 00:49:54,403 Watson. Does it look like Moriarty 941 00:49:54,404 --> 00:49:55,394 now? 942 00:49:56,408 --> 00:49:57,849 Who is this? 943 00:49:57,850 --> 00:49:59,933 Jacob Musgrave, 944 00:49:59,934 --> 00:50:02,178 as I've been saying all along. 945 00:50:02,179 --> 00:50:04,382 A man who looks so much like Moriarty, 946 00:50:04,383 --> 00:50:07,027 a simple beard fooled almost everyone. 947 00:50:07,028 --> 00:50:08,429 All right, I admit it. 948 00:50:08,430 --> 00:50:10,393 I am no Moriarty. 949 00:50:10,394 --> 00:50:12,036 My name is Musgrave, 950 00:50:12,037 --> 00:50:14,722 just like he says. 951 00:50:14,723 --> 00:50:16,805 - Wow. - Who put you up to this? 952 00:50:16,806 --> 00:50:20,092 Oh, they've been leaving me notes telling me what to do. 953 00:50:20,093 --> 00:50:21,334 I don't know who it is. 954 00:50:21,335 --> 00:50:23,738 I swear, I'm just a simple wanker. 955 00:50:23,739 --> 00:50:25,742 He's telling the truth, Watson. 956 00:50:25,743 --> 00:50:28,267 This morally deficient creature, 957 00:50:28,268 --> 00:50:31,954 this awful, awful excuse for a man, this... 958 00:50:31,955 --> 00:50:34,359 Bag of rubbish. Yes, good one, Watson. Yes. 959 00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,202 Come on, guys. I'm dying. 960 00:50:36,203 --> 00:50:38,767 These are the wages of wanking, you see? 961 00:50:38,768 --> 00:50:40,972 Wait, wait, wait. What? 962 00:50:40,973 --> 00:50:42,093 Just a... 963 00:50:42,094 --> 00:50:44,738 Don't wank on us. 964 00:50:44,739 --> 00:50:46,359 A coal. 965 00:50:46,703 --> 00:50:50,991 Said you were to take it to Newcastle. 966 00:50:50,992 --> 00:50:53,315 - A lump of coal? - Yeah. 967 00:50:53,316 --> 00:50:54,637 To Newcastle? 968 00:50:54,638 --> 00:50:56,601 Newcastle by the river? 969 00:50:56,602 --> 00:50:59,527 Perhaps this clue will lead us to the real mastermind. 970 00:50:59,528 --> 00:51:00,609 Time is running out. 971 00:51:00,610 --> 00:51:01,931 We must save the Queen. 972 00:51:01,932 --> 00:51:05,452 Good luck to you. 973 00:51:07,062 --> 00:51:09,345 ♪ While speeding to London town 974 00:51:09,346 --> 00:51:12,031 ♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down 975 00:51:12,032 --> 00:51:14,675 ♪ Keep smiling and forget that frown 976 00:51:14,676 --> 00:51:17,160 ♪ Little reason to keep that crown 977 00:51:17,161 --> 00:51:19,845 ♪ While speeding to London town 978 00:51:19,846 --> 00:51:22,611 ♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down 979 00:51:22,612 --> 00:51:25,135 ♪ Keep smiling and forget that frown... ♪ 980 00:51:25,136 --> 00:51:28,301 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 981 00:51:28,302 --> 00:51:29,612 Coals. 982 00:51:30,146 --> 00:51:32,388 Coals. "Sherlock." 983 00:51:32,389 --> 00:51:35,475 "Three days until I rewrite history and kill the queen." 984 00:51:35,476 --> 00:51:37,238 Millicent is the subject of my research. 985 00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,202 Coals to Newcastle. 986 00:51:39,203 --> 00:51:41,406 Talking to you, it's as if our brains are sharing a tandem bicycle. 987 00:51:41,407 --> 00:51:43,370 She has the mental capacity of... 988 00:51:43,371 --> 00:51:44,853 Now you have but three days... 989 00:51:44,854 --> 00:51:46,415 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 990 00:51:46,416 --> 00:51:49,381 ♪ Co-detective Sherlock and me ♪ 991 00:51:49,382 --> 00:51:50,624 Uh... Oh. 992 00:51:50,625 --> 00:51:52,788 Good morning, Sherlock. 993 00:51:52,789 --> 00:51:54,431 What's happened? Well, I'm... 994 00:51:54,432 --> 00:51:56,755 I'm trying to untangle this baffling clue. 995 00:51:56,756 --> 00:51:57,586 Ah. 996 00:51:58,119 --> 00:52:00,442 Ever since I met Millie, my mind is muddled. 997 00:52:00,443 --> 00:52:02,566 Do you suppose she's infected me 998 00:52:02,567 --> 00:52:04,651 with some sort of a disease? 999 00:52:04,652 --> 00:52:05,773 Disease? 1000 00:52:05,774 --> 00:52:07,455 My heart races. 1001 00:52:07,456 --> 00:52:08,858 My palms sweat. 1002 00:52:08,859 --> 00:52:10,621 I have all these feelings. 1003 00:52:10,622 --> 00:52:14,469 Holmes, get a hold of yourself. You're not sick. 1004 00:52:14,470 --> 00:52:15,672 You're in love. 1005 00:52:15,673 --> 00:52:17,755 Love? Horseradish! 1006 00:52:17,756 --> 00:52:19,078 I'm a man of logic. 1007 00:52:19,079 --> 00:52:20,881 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 1008 00:52:20,882 --> 00:52:25,410 In fact, I, too, have been taken by this malady called love. 1009 00:52:25,411 --> 00:52:28,495 Grace has asked me to call upon her. 1010 00:52:28,496 --> 00:52:30,299 Apparently, 1011 00:52:30,300 --> 00:52:34,707 I sent her quite the charming telegram last night. 1012 00:52:34,708 --> 00:52:36,671 Watson, you've cracked it. 1013 00:52:36,672 --> 00:52:38,114 Have I? Co-detective? 1014 00:52:38,115 --> 00:52:39,437 Think, Watson. Uh... 1015 00:52:39,438 --> 00:52:40,960 Is there a single logical reason 1016 00:52:40,961 --> 00:52:43,484 for Grace to want to seek your company? 1017 00:52:43,485 --> 00:52:44,967 Romantic interest? 1018 00:52:44,968 --> 00:52:46,731 No. My eyes? 1019 00:52:46,732 --> 00:52:47,933 It's all a ruse. 1020 00:52:47,934 --> 00:52:50,056 Moriarty escapes to America, 1021 00:52:50,057 --> 00:52:53,062 and then these two American women show up? 1022 00:52:53,063 --> 00:52:56,829 Sorry, you're saying Grace is the killer? 1023 00:52:56,830 --> 00:52:59,595 Of course she's not the killer. She's an American. 1024 00:52:59,596 --> 00:53:01,999 She would have used a gun. Ah. Hmm. 1025 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,005 No, Grace is working for the killer. 1026 00:53:05,006 --> 00:53:05,836 Oh. 1027 00:53:06,128 --> 00:53:08,091 We shall seduce her, 1028 00:53:08,092 --> 00:53:10,215 and that will lead us to the murderer. 1029 00:53:10,216 --> 00:53:11,996 Mmm-hmm. 1030 00:53:12,140 --> 00:53:12,940 Yes. 1031 00:53:12,941 --> 00:53:15,941 Well, we best get you cleaned up and dressed then, eh? 1032 00:53:15,942 --> 00:53:18,132 Thank you Watson. 1033 00:53:18,133 --> 00:53:21,133 Oh. You're still here. 1034 00:53:21,134 --> 00:53:27,134 Hudson. What are you doing in my room again? I told you, I will clean it from now on. 1035 00:53:27,135 --> 00:53:29,800 You have your own room. Under the stairs! 1036 00:53:29,801 --> 00:53:33,256 Out! Out! Come Along... 1037 00:53:33,257 --> 00:53:38,047 You've soiled it enough! 1038 00:53:38,258 --> 00:53:42,258 Ugh... Good God. Harry Houdini and Albert Einstein. 1039 00:53:42,259 --> 00:53:46,059 Really? What kind of three backed beast is this? 1040 00:53:46,060 --> 00:53:50,060 There's sometimes more. I pray in there, that room is a sanctuary. 1041 00:53:50,061 --> 00:53:56,261 I know... If you only knew the things I've done in that bed. I would just get rid of it if I was you. 1042 00:53:56,262 --> 00:54:00,262 Why are you bringing all of these men in here? Stick to your broomstick! 1043 00:54:00,263 --> 00:54:08,993 C'mon. Move it! You've got a job to finish! 1044 00:54:09,008 --> 00:54:10,530 Who could that be at this early hour? 1045 00:54:10,531 --> 00:54:11,841 Enter. 1046 00:54:18,666 --> 00:54:21,086 Her Majesty. 1047 00:54:21,552 --> 00:54:24,516 Have you come to see me? 1048 00:54:24,517 --> 00:54:27,522 Mr. Holmes, I have but two days left to live 1049 00:54:27,523 --> 00:54:30,407 unless you can solve this case. 1050 00:54:30,408 --> 00:54:33,573 My queen, do come in. 1051 00:54:33,574 --> 00:54:38,743 I shall speak with Mr. Holmes in private. 1052 00:54:38,744 --> 00:54:40,346 Your Majesty. 1053 00:54:40,347 --> 00:54:41,990 You'll be happy to know 1054 00:54:41,991 --> 00:54:44,835 that, just this morning we discovered a new clue. 1055 00:54:44,836 --> 00:54:46,758 This chunk of coal. 1056 00:54:46,759 --> 00:54:48,121 What does it mean? 1057 00:54:48,122 --> 00:54:51,648 It's quite a mystery. 1058 00:54:51,649 --> 00:54:53,451 Is this going to be a problem? 1059 00:54:53,452 --> 00:54:54,922 Watson. 1060 00:54:54,935 --> 00:54:56,978 Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea. 1061 00:54:56,979 --> 00:54:59,943 Oh, yes, of course. 1062 00:54:59,944 --> 00:55:03,430 Mr. Holmes, the empire is depending on you. 1063 00:55:03,431 --> 00:55:07,117 Your Majesty, I now suspect two American women 1064 00:55:07,118 --> 00:55:10,163 are somehow involved in this plot. 1065 00:55:10,164 --> 00:55:11,474 Sorry. 1066 00:55:11,968 --> 00:55:13,610 Your Majesty, 1067 00:55:13,611 --> 00:55:16,615 do you think I could have a picture of us together? 1068 00:55:16,616 --> 00:55:18,820 But who is going to take the photograph? 1069 00:55:18,821 --> 00:55:20,823 Oh, no, I'll take the photograph. 1070 00:55:20,824 --> 00:55:23,428 You see, it's a type of a self-photograph. 1071 00:55:23,429 --> 00:55:25,872 I can take it, and I will be in it also. 1072 00:55:25,873 --> 00:55:28,838 You know what? I find, to take the most attractive photographs, 1073 00:55:28,839 --> 00:55:30,482 you need to purse your lips together 1074 00:55:30,483 --> 00:55:32,645 like a duck-billed platypus. 1075 00:55:32,646 --> 00:55:36,653 Platypus face. Chins up. 1076 00:55:36,654 --> 00:55:39,178 Hey. Hey. Hey, girl. 1077 00:55:39,179 --> 00:55:41,062 You know, maybe over by the window. 1078 00:55:41,063 --> 00:55:44,508 The lighting's much better there. Yes, yes, capital idea. 1079 00:55:44,509 --> 00:55:46,792 - Oh, God. Ma'am, ma'am. - Oh! Oh! 1080 00:55:46,793 --> 00:55:48,636 Ma'am! Your Majesty. 1081 00:55:48,637 --> 00:55:50,680 Oh, ma'am. Ma'am. 1082 00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:52,621 Oh, dear. 1083 00:55:53,085 --> 00:55:55,890 Tell me, Watson. 1084 00:55:55,891 --> 00:55:58,301 She's dead. 1085 00:55:58,896 --> 00:56:00,836 Dear God. 1086 00:56:02,303 --> 00:56:04,587 We've killed the Queen. 1087 00:56:04,588 --> 00:56:06,911 Are you all right, Your Majesty? 1088 00:56:06,912 --> 00:56:07,902 Yes. 1089 00:56:08,274 --> 00:56:09,957 - Yes, I'm all right. - Are you sure? 1090 00:56:09,958 --> 00:56:11,600 Yes, I'm quite fine. 1091 00:56:11,601 --> 00:56:16,208 My lover, John Watson, will take good care of me. 1092 00:56:16,209 --> 00:56:18,653 Why did you want that photograph? 1093 00:56:18,654 --> 00:56:20,977 I didn't want the photograph. 1094 00:56:20,978 --> 00:56:22,941 What are you talking about? 1095 00:56:22,942 --> 00:56:24,865 Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson? 1096 00:56:24,866 --> 00:56:26,788 I'm very, very safe. 1097 00:56:26,789 --> 00:56:29,714 She's so dead. She's so dead. 1098 00:56:29,715 --> 00:56:30,916 - I know. - Okay. 1099 00:56:30,917 --> 00:56:32,921 We'll shove her down the toilet 1100 00:56:32,922 --> 00:56:34,964 as if she was never here, and we'll deny ever seeing her. 1101 00:56:34,965 --> 00:56:36,728 Right. Excellent. 1102 00:56:36,729 --> 00:56:39,894 Come on. Come up. 1103 00:56:39,895 --> 00:56:43,220 Here we are. Into the bathroom. 1104 00:56:43,221 --> 00:56:44,823 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1105 00:56:44,824 --> 00:56:46,305 What was the big bang? 1106 00:56:46,306 --> 00:56:47,788 We must buy some time. 1107 00:56:47,789 --> 00:56:49,151 Right. Let's get her to the door. 1108 00:56:49,152 --> 00:56:50,915 Open this door! Wait. 1109 00:56:50,916 --> 00:56:52,397 Hello. What do you want? 1110 00:56:52,398 --> 00:56:53,800 Ma'am, are you all right? 1111 00:56:53,801 --> 00:56:56,164 Yes, of course I'm fine. Can't you see? 1112 00:56:56,165 --> 00:56:57,487 Yes, of course, ma'am. I'm so sorry. 1113 00:56:57,488 --> 00:56:58,689 We've got it from here, boys. Thank you. 1114 00:56:58,690 --> 00:57:01,294 - We're good. - Yes, sir. 1115 00:57:01,295 --> 00:57:02,616 The trunk. Yes. 1116 00:57:02,617 --> 00:57:05,823 Yes, we'll mail her to Africa. 1117 00:57:05,824 --> 00:57:07,386 Come on, ma'am. Sorry. 1118 00:57:07,387 --> 00:57:08,508 There we go. 1119 00:57:08,509 --> 00:57:09,830 Stuff her in there. 1120 00:57:09,831 --> 00:57:11,073 Really thrust. 1121 00:57:11,074 --> 00:57:13,237 Good. Good. 1122 00:57:13,238 --> 00:57:15,000 Good. Good. 1123 00:57:15,001 --> 00:57:16,643 - Hold on, Watson. - Come on, boys. 1124 00:57:16,644 --> 00:57:18,607 Open the door! 1125 00:57:18,608 --> 00:57:20,490 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1126 00:57:20,491 --> 00:57:23,937 One, two, three. Watch your fingers. 1127 00:57:23,938 --> 00:57:25,981 Open this door immediately! 1128 00:57:25,982 --> 00:57:27,584 This is bad. 1129 00:57:27,585 --> 00:57:30,029 You know what we must do. 1130 00:57:30,030 --> 00:57:31,592 Grab your toolbox. 1131 00:57:31,593 --> 00:57:35,720 Let me in! I'm breaking down the door! 1132 00:57:35,721 --> 00:57:37,884 Bone saw. Bone saw. 1133 00:57:37,885 --> 00:57:39,326 - Oh, God. - Come on! Push! Come on, together! 1134 00:57:39,327 --> 00:57:42,172 Watson, toilet-sized chunks. 1135 00:57:42,173 --> 00:57:46,643 Put your back into it! 1136 00:57:46,862 --> 00:57:48,303 Good God! 1137 00:57:48,304 --> 00:57:51,469 What have you done? 1138 00:57:51,470 --> 00:57:54,210 Platypus lips. 1139 00:57:59,926 --> 00:58:04,935 Can you send me a copy of the self-photograph? 1140 00:58:04,936 --> 00:58:07,046 Absolutely. 1141 00:58:07,260 --> 00:58:12,831 It will arrive at the palace in about a week. 1142 00:58:12,832 --> 00:58:14,193 Gentlemen, 1143 00:58:14,194 --> 00:58:17,960 you have two days to stop this killer. 1144 00:58:17,961 --> 00:58:20,204 Yes, ma'am. 1145 00:58:20,205 --> 00:58:24,045 God save the Queen. 1146 00:58:26,617 --> 00:58:30,183 What a perfect day for a picnic at London's greatest spectacle, 1147 00:58:30,184 --> 00:58:32,468 the Anglo-American Exhibition. 1148 00:58:32,469 --> 00:58:34,511 A celebration of that special relationship 1149 00:58:34,512 --> 00:58:36,395 between our nation and yours. 1150 00:58:36,396 --> 00:58:38,479 Yes, such a special relationship 1151 00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:40,523 between these two nations, 1152 00:58:40,524 --> 00:58:42,607 although I could never live 1153 00:58:42,608 --> 00:58:44,651 in a country with an unelected ruler 1154 00:58:44,652 --> 00:58:45,813 like the Queen. 1155 00:58:45,814 --> 00:58:47,817 Why ever not? 1156 00:58:47,818 --> 00:58:50,061 In America, we have democracy. 1157 00:58:50,062 --> 00:58:53,026 Our president is a person our people have all chosen. 1158 00:58:53,027 --> 00:58:54,017 Mmm. 1159 00:58:54,030 --> 00:58:58,397 An assurance that only the finest and most qualified man will lead, 1160 00:58:58,398 --> 00:59:02,445 not a wealthy tyrant who cares for nothing but himself. 1161 00:59:02,446 --> 00:59:05,209 But you have the electoral college, which surely will prevent 1162 00:59:05,210 --> 00:59:07,655 some trumped-up charlatan from gaining power. 1163 00:59:07,656 --> 00:59:09,377 Not always, unfortunately. 1164 00:59:09,378 --> 00:59:11,622 It would be great to have a strong businessman. 1165 00:59:11,623 --> 00:59:13,225 But a showman as well. 1166 00:59:13,226 --> 00:59:14,707 I love a good show. 1167 00:59:14,708 --> 00:59:16,338 America. 1168 00:59:16,833 --> 00:59:29,533 We gave you your freedom, and now look what you've done with it. 1169 00:59:42,762 --> 00:59:44,524 Remember, Watson. 1170 00:59:44,525 --> 00:59:48,172 Relax them with small talk, then begin the seduction. 1171 00:59:48,173 --> 00:59:49,894 I must say, she doesn't look 1172 00:59:49,895 --> 00:59:53,101 like she could be an accessory to murder. 1173 00:59:53,102 --> 00:59:57,028 Well, looks can be deceiving. 1174 00:59:57,029 --> 00:59:59,553 Remember, we're here to seduce. 1175 00:59:59,554 --> 01:00:03,761 These physical displays of strength will enchant them. 1176 01:00:03,762 --> 01:00:04,592 Ah. 1177 01:00:08,371 --> 01:00:09,852 I could use a bit of cocaine. 1178 01:00:09,853 --> 01:00:15,303 Did you bring a vial with you? 1179 01:00:15,304 --> 01:00:17,404 Very good. 1180 01:00:24,762 --> 01:00:27,326 Are you all right? I'm... I'm exhausted. 1181 01:00:27,327 --> 01:00:29,811 There is one test I can employ 1182 01:00:29,812 --> 01:00:32,615 to prove she truly is who she says she is. 1183 01:00:32,616 --> 01:00:34,099 Then do it, Holmes. 1184 01:00:34,100 --> 01:00:39,629 Employ your last test. I simply must know. 1185 01:00:39,630 --> 01:00:41,032 Help! John? 1186 01:00:41,033 --> 01:00:42,795 - This man has been taken ill. - What? 1187 01:00:42,796 --> 01:00:43,626 Oh! 1188 01:00:45,241 --> 01:00:46,642 Let me see. 1189 01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:48,686 If only there were a doctor present. 1190 01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:52,012 Clearly, he's had a severe blow to his occipital bone. 1191 01:00:52,013 --> 01:00:53,214 He's concussed. 1192 01:00:53,215 --> 01:00:55,620 And I am a doctor. A doctor? 1193 01:00:55,621 --> 01:00:58,826 A woman doctor. What times we live in. 1194 01:00:58,827 --> 01:01:00,669 Could it be? 1195 01:01:00,670 --> 01:01:03,475 Is Grace truly a doctor? 1196 01:01:03,476 --> 01:01:05,999 Are her feelings of affection genuine? 1197 01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,963 Then she's innocent. 1198 01:01:07,964 --> 01:01:09,325 Watson, get up. 1199 01:01:09,326 --> 01:01:10,688 We need to go see my brother. 1200 01:01:10,689 --> 01:01:15,096 I love you, Grace. Oh! 1201 01:01:15,097 --> 01:01:17,701 The legendary Diogenes Men's Club. 1202 01:01:17,702 --> 01:01:20,226 Home of London's most awkward gentlemen 1203 01:01:20,227 --> 01:01:23,232 and my brother. 1204 01:01:23,233 --> 01:01:24,594 Holmes. Mmm. 1205 01:01:24,595 --> 01:01:26,117 I can't believe you have a brother. 1206 01:01:26,118 --> 01:01:28,121 Yes, but we're nothing alike. 1207 01:01:28,122 --> 01:01:30,566 He's an arrogant man who never appreciates 1208 01:01:30,567 --> 01:01:32,329 the people around him. 1209 01:01:32,330 --> 01:01:35,540 Follow me. Here. 1210 01:01:38,262 --> 01:01:41,632 Well, well, well. 1211 01:01:42,270 --> 01:01:45,635 So you are finally seeking your brother's help. 1212 01:01:45,636 --> 01:01:47,798 I must say, I'm not surprised. 1213 01:01:47,799 --> 01:01:50,444 And this vague assembly of limbs and fatty tissue, 1214 01:01:50,445 --> 01:01:51,967 I assume, is Dr. Watson. 1215 01:01:51,968 --> 01:01:52,958 Mmm. 1216 01:02:06,275 --> 01:02:10,923 So shall I get us started? 1217 01:02:10,924 --> 01:02:12,767 Watson, please. 1218 01:02:12,768 --> 01:02:14,810 We're in the middle of a conversation. 1219 01:02:14,811 --> 01:02:16,653 Can't you see? 1220 01:02:16,654 --> 01:02:18,497 When the two most brilliant minds in all of England 1221 01:02:18,498 --> 01:02:19,860 have a fraternal bond, 1222 01:02:19,861 --> 01:02:21,984 words are an inefficiency. 1223 01:02:21,985 --> 01:02:24,549 We communicate without words, silently, 1224 01:02:24,550 --> 01:02:27,033 from giant brain to gianter brain. 1225 01:02:27,034 --> 01:02:28,837 Of course. 1226 01:02:28,838 --> 01:02:34,398 I'll join in as I see fit. 1227 01:02:34,569 --> 01:02:37,453 I can spare a few minutes to solve your little mystery 1228 01:02:37,454 --> 01:02:40,579 and help quench your thirst for public adulation. 1229 01:02:40,580 --> 01:02:43,064 My thirst is for logic. 1230 01:02:43,065 --> 01:02:47,031 I don't care what the public thinks of London's best-loved detective, 1231 01:02:47,032 --> 01:02:48,273 Sherlock Holmes. 1232 01:02:48,274 --> 01:02:50,064 Thoughts. 1233 01:02:50,078 --> 01:02:52,081 Me-Me talky. 1234 01:02:52,082 --> 01:02:53,483 Me-Me talky. 1235 01:02:53,484 --> 01:02:55,047 You find killer. 1236 01:02:55,048 --> 01:02:58,253 Me-Me talky? We find killer? 1237 01:02:58,254 --> 01:03:00,897 Watson, what are you trying to do? 1238 01:03:00,898 --> 01:03:02,180 Trying to brain-speak. 1239 01:03:02,181 --> 01:03:04,224 You're going to hurt yourself. 1240 01:03:04,225 --> 01:03:06,228 Uh, sorry. 1241 01:03:06,229 --> 01:03:08,713 Uh, perhaps the gentleman would be more comfortable 1242 01:03:08,714 --> 01:03:11,558 in the companions' chamber. 1243 01:03:11,559 --> 01:03:15,125 Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be comfortable here by the fire. 1244 01:03:15,126 --> 01:03:16,567 In the companions' chamber, sir. 1245 01:03:16,568 --> 01:03:17,890 Yes, fine. Of course. 1246 01:03:17,891 --> 01:03:19,774 Great idea. Yeah, capital idea. 1247 01:03:19,775 --> 01:03:21,417 I'll be in the companions' room. Yes. 1248 01:03:21,418 --> 01:03:24,503 The equal companions' room, should you need me. 1249 01:03:24,504 --> 01:03:27,704 It's just here. 1250 01:03:31,396 --> 01:03:33,199 Please enjoy the company of your fellow companions. 1251 01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:35,283 I see. Huh. 1252 01:03:35,284 --> 01:03:39,892 Balloons are happy, but they're not alive. 1253 01:03:39,893 --> 01:03:42,313 Fair enough. 1254 01:03:46,024 --> 01:03:50,392 Who is this brilliant nemesis capable of besting me? 1255 01:03:50,393 --> 01:03:53,838 If your nemesis were truly smarter than you, 1256 01:03:53,839 --> 01:03:55,843 it could only be me. 1257 01:03:55,844 --> 01:03:58,167 And as I am not the killer, one must conclude 1258 01:03:58,168 --> 01:04:01,533 that the killer did not, nor could not, outwit you. 1259 01:04:01,534 --> 01:04:04,658 If the killer is my intellectual inferior, 1260 01:04:04,659 --> 01:04:06,863 how has he predicted my every move? 1261 01:04:06,864 --> 01:04:08,586 The killer did not predict your actions. 1262 01:04:08,587 --> 01:04:10,830 Our murderer is a student of yours, 1263 01:04:10,831 --> 01:04:12,474 someone in your proximity. 1264 01:04:12,475 --> 01:04:14,638 Someone who could observe you undetected. 1265 01:04:14,639 --> 01:04:17,203 Someone who knows you better than anyone. 1266 01:04:17,204 --> 01:04:18,726 His mind radiates wisdom. 1267 01:04:18,727 --> 01:04:24,055 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 1268 01:04:24,056 --> 01:04:25,538 I am dying from anticipation. 1269 01:04:25,539 --> 01:04:26,941 What did your brother tell you, Holmes? 1270 01:04:26,942 --> 01:04:28,945 I believe I've cracked the case. 1271 01:04:28,946 --> 01:04:31,750 It was in front of me the whole time, my dear Watson. 1272 01:04:31,751 --> 01:04:33,073 Oh, do share. 1273 01:04:33,074 --> 01:04:35,077 And ruin the suspense? 1274 01:04:35,078 --> 01:04:37,722 I just thought, since I worked the case with you... 1275 01:04:37,723 --> 01:04:40,923 And we're here. 1276 01:04:41,890 --> 01:04:42,880 Now, 1277 01:04:43,494 --> 01:04:47,019 you're all wondering why I gathered you here today. 1278 01:04:47,020 --> 01:04:50,425 Prepare yourself to be astonished. 1279 01:04:50,426 --> 01:04:51,828 The killer could only be a man 1280 01:04:51,829 --> 01:04:54,433 who knew my actions at every turn. 1281 01:04:54,434 --> 01:04:57,119 Who was present at every murder? 1282 01:04:57,120 --> 01:04:58,110 Hmm? 1283 01:04:58,522 --> 01:05:01,166 Who knows me better than anyone? 1284 01:05:01,167 --> 01:05:04,172 It was you who arranged my birthday party 1285 01:05:04,173 --> 01:05:07,097 and the cake which contained the first victim, 1286 01:05:07,098 --> 01:05:10,865 initiating the events leading us to today. 1287 01:05:10,866 --> 01:05:15,816 Dr. Watson is the killer. 1288 01:05:16,797 --> 01:05:18,198 By studying my methods, 1289 01:05:18,199 --> 01:05:21,364 you created a fake crime only you could solve. 1290 01:05:21,365 --> 01:05:24,010 Why? I was to be so impressed 1291 01:05:24,011 --> 01:05:26,855 that I would crown him co-detective. 1292 01:05:26,856 --> 01:05:29,540 He wanted to rewrite history 1293 01:05:29,541 --> 01:05:34,021 by becoming my partner. 1294 01:05:35,232 --> 01:05:38,437 Okay. Now the part about how I could never have done it 1295 01:05:38,438 --> 01:05:40,521 and on to the surprising real killer. 1296 01:05:40,522 --> 01:05:42,124 I wonder who it's going to be. 1297 01:05:42,125 --> 01:05:44,409 When one eliminates the impossible, 1298 01:05:44,410 --> 01:05:47,294 whatever remains, however improbable, 1299 01:05:47,295 --> 01:05:49,658 is the truth. 1300 01:05:49,659 --> 01:05:52,303 But this is absurd. 1301 01:05:52,304 --> 01:05:53,867 Holmes, you must know in your heart... 1302 01:05:53,868 --> 01:05:55,910 The heart is for pumping blood. 1303 01:05:55,911 --> 01:05:58,876 The truth is the truth! 1304 01:05:58,877 --> 01:06:00,027 Truth 1305 01:06:00,721 --> 01:06:04,727 is that I have devoted my life to you. 1306 01:06:04,728 --> 01:06:06,250 And I was a fool to think 1307 01:06:06,251 --> 01:06:08,254 you would ever consider me as a co-detective 1308 01:06:08,255 --> 01:06:13,584 when you're incapable of thinking of me even as a friend! 1309 01:06:13,585 --> 01:06:15,788 Inspector Lestrade, take him. 1310 01:06:15,789 --> 01:06:17,071 Go on. 1311 01:06:17,072 --> 01:06:18,474 The man is your closest friend. 1312 01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:20,597 Your pursuit of Moriarty has failed. 1313 01:06:20,598 --> 01:06:22,480 You have no suspects. 1314 01:06:22,481 --> 01:06:25,086 The killer still threatens to kill the Queen. 1315 01:06:25,087 --> 01:06:27,931 Is that a chance you're willing to take? 1316 01:06:27,932 --> 01:06:31,142 Take him. What? 1317 01:06:33,142 --> 01:06:35,305 Do you see his propensity for violence? 1318 01:06:35,306 --> 01:06:37,790 - Do you still doubt me? - Calm down. 1319 01:06:37,791 --> 01:06:43,520 I shall never again carry your blasted magnifying glasses 1320 01:06:43,521 --> 01:06:46,005 or your jars of urine. 1321 01:06:46,006 --> 01:06:48,370 Why are we even saving these? 1322 01:06:48,371 --> 01:06:52,498 And you look stupid in that hat. 1323 01:06:52,499 --> 01:06:57,708 Your head was not meant for hats. 1324 01:06:57,709 --> 01:06:59,993 Unhand me! No! 1325 01:06:59,994 --> 01:07:03,920 I'll never forget you, John. 1326 01:07:03,921 --> 01:07:04,911 Why? 1327 01:07:05,283 --> 01:07:07,727 John Watson devoted his life to you, 1328 01:07:07,728 --> 01:07:09,570 and this is how you repay him? 1329 01:07:09,571 --> 01:07:13,377 Back to America with your ham-dogs and hot-burgers. 1330 01:07:13,378 --> 01:07:16,183 At least, in America, our system's fair. 1331 01:07:16,184 --> 01:07:18,507 No citizen can be found guilty 1332 01:07:18,508 --> 01:07:23,717 till his case is heard by a jury of white property-owning men. 1333 01:07:23,718 --> 01:07:30,428 Millie, surely, you must understand. 1334 01:07:35,421 --> 01:07:37,223 Fine, go! 1335 01:07:37,224 --> 01:07:40,188 I'm the greatest detective who ever lived. 1336 01:07:40,189 --> 01:07:42,633 You're welcome for solving this case. 1337 01:07:42,634 --> 01:07:47,284 Sherlock abandons Watson! 1338 01:08:01,510 --> 01:08:06,780 Sherlock a washed up loser! 1339 01:08:38,981 --> 01:08:40,601 A tear? 1340 01:08:41,787 --> 01:08:45,467 What is this tear? 1341 01:08:46,275 --> 01:08:50,735 I... I can't stop it. 1342 01:08:54,370 --> 01:09:01,850 What is this warm feeling in my chest? 1343 01:09:03,348 --> 01:09:07,795 ♪ Why am I reeling in confusion? 1344 01:09:07,796 --> 01:09:11,442 ♪ What is this fever in my head? 1345 01:09:11,443 --> 01:09:12,965 ♪ Is it pox? 1346 01:09:12,966 --> 01:09:14,407 ♪ Maybe gout 1347 01:09:14,408 --> 01:09:17,414 ♪ I can't seem to work it out 1348 01:09:17,415 --> 01:09:19,777 ♪ And why 1349 01:09:19,778 --> 01:09:23,625 ♪ Don't I feel triumphant? 1350 01:09:23,626 --> 01:09:26,471 ♪ And why does it seem less than right 1351 01:09:26,472 --> 01:09:29,476 ♪ That Watson's going to hang tonight 1352 01:09:29,477 --> 01:09:34,646 ♪ And gasp and thrash and choke until he's dead? 1353 01:09:34,647 --> 01:09:38,253 ♪ What is this strange sensation 1354 01:09:38,254 --> 01:09:40,938 ♪ Where did I go wrong? 1355 01:09:40,939 --> 01:09:44,144 ♪ Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess? 1356 01:09:44,145 --> 01:09:46,428 ♪ Soon my neck will snap in half 1357 01:09:46,429 --> 01:09:49,154 ♪ I guess ♪ And yet I know somehow 1358 01:09:49,155 --> 01:09:52,721 ♪ And yet right now ♪ If he could hear right now 1359 01:09:52,722 --> 01:09:57,770 ♪ I would still forgive him 1360 01:09:57,771 --> 01:10:01,131 ♪ More or less 1361 01:10:01,418 --> 01:10:04,302 ♪ Please, I don't know Upon whom else to call 1362 01:10:04,303 --> 01:10:07,148 ♪ Nothing is making any sense at all 1363 01:10:07,149 --> 01:10:10,715 ♪ Speak! I need your voice To hear your voice 1364 01:10:10,716 --> 01:10:16,766 ♪ So sweet, so pure, so wise 1365 01:10:17,970 --> 01:10:21,735 ♪ Sometimes the irrational 1366 01:10:21,736 --> 01:10:25,342 ♪ Is truer than the rational 1367 01:10:25,343 --> 01:10:28,589 ♪ The heart can have its reasons 1368 01:10:28,590 --> 01:10:32,917 ♪ Which the head knows nothing of 1369 01:10:32,918 --> 01:10:35,922 ♪ Your brain says Watson's guilty 1370 01:10:35,923 --> 01:10:40,091 ♪ But a stronger force says "No, he's not" 1371 01:10:40,092 --> 01:10:41,894 ♪ What is that force? 1372 01:10:41,895 --> 01:10:43,897 ♪ It's... It's... ♪ Yes? What? 1373 01:10:43,898 --> 01:10:47,464 ♪ It's love... ♪ Love? 1374 01:10:47,465 --> 01:10:51,392 ♪ It's love ♪ It's love 1375 01:10:51,393 --> 01:10:53,516 ♪ It's love ♪ It's love 1376 01:10:53,517 --> 01:10:56,401 ♪ It's love ♪ It's love ♪ 1377 01:10:56,402 --> 01:10:57,884 My God. 1378 01:10:57,885 --> 01:10:59,567 Did I push Watson away 1379 01:10:59,568 --> 01:11:02,373 because I feared losing him to Grace? 1380 01:11:02,374 --> 01:11:06,100 Somehow, I know in my heart... 1381 01:11:06,101 --> 01:11:08,224 Watson is innocent! 1382 01:11:08,225 --> 01:11:12,191 ♪ Time to go and save ♪ Come save me now 1383 01:11:12,192 --> 01:11:21,048 ♪ The man I love ♪ ♪ The man I love ♪ 1384 01:11:21,049 --> 01:11:22,519 Watson! 1385 01:11:22,532 --> 01:11:25,737 I discovered my emotions, and I'm only 46. 1386 01:11:25,738 --> 01:11:29,108 Hang! Hang! Hang! 1387 01:11:32,231 --> 01:11:34,011 Oh, God. 1388 01:11:34,275 --> 01:11:36,558 Hang Dr. Watson! Hang Dr. Watson! 1389 01:11:36,559 --> 01:11:39,122 The dogs seem really unnecessary. 1390 01:11:39,123 --> 01:11:40,913 Sherlock. 1391 01:11:41,689 --> 01:11:42,519 Oh. 1392 01:11:43,051 --> 01:11:45,141 It's you. 1393 01:11:45,295 --> 01:11:49,295 You've brought cake. 1394 01:11:54,152 --> 01:11:56,396 Watson! My brother! 1395 01:11:56,397 --> 01:11:58,359 Watson, where are you? 1396 01:11:58,360 --> 01:11:59,682 Where... 1397 01:11:59,683 --> 01:12:02,563 I'm too late. 1398 01:12:06,095 --> 01:12:07,565 Clever. 1399 01:12:07,698 --> 01:12:11,228 Very, very clever. 1400 01:12:17,196 --> 01:12:19,760 You were always so clever, 1401 01:12:19,761 --> 01:12:22,926 and I never appreciated it. 1402 01:12:22,927 --> 01:12:25,090 But it's not too late to make amends. 1403 01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:26,561 Watson! 1404 01:12:26,614 --> 01:12:34,308 I shouldn't have wasted all my time singing! 1405 01:12:34,309 --> 01:12:35,991 Ah! Grimy news kids. 1406 01:12:35,992 --> 01:12:37,794 I desperately need your help. 1407 01:12:37,795 --> 01:12:39,638 Dr. Watson's in grave danger. 1408 01:12:39,639 --> 01:12:41,240 Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. 1409 01:12:41,241 --> 01:12:42,804 Because of you, you wank! 1410 01:12:42,805 --> 01:12:44,046 I know. 1411 01:12:44,047 --> 01:12:45,809 But I know of a way to save him. 1412 01:12:45,810 --> 01:12:48,054 Please, please help me. 1413 01:12:48,055 --> 01:12:54,346 I must find a way to the docks immediately. 1414 01:12:54,347 --> 01:12:55,828 "Moriarty's daughter 1415 01:12:55,829 --> 01:12:58,033 "did the one thing Moriarty never could. 1416 01:12:58,034 --> 01:13:02,681 "She defeated Sherlock Holmes and assassinated the Queen. 1417 01:13:02,682 --> 01:13:05,326 "Sherlock Holmes, the man whom I regarded 1418 01:13:05,327 --> 01:13:10,416 "as the best and the wisest man whom I would ever know 1419 01:13:10,417 --> 01:13:13,307 "was a fraud." 1420 01:13:16,670 --> 01:13:18,312 It is done. 1421 01:13:18,313 --> 01:13:21,397 A devilish plan worthy of your father. 1422 01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:26,206 The last book in the Sherlock Holmes canon is complete, 1423 01:13:26,207 --> 01:13:29,252 The Case of the Defeated Detective. 1424 01:13:29,253 --> 01:13:32,458 Daddy will be so proud. 1425 01:13:32,459 --> 01:13:34,061 Sherlock will be remembered 1426 01:13:34,062 --> 01:13:37,067 as the man who failed to protect the Queen. 1427 01:13:37,068 --> 01:13:38,791 History shall be rewritten 1428 01:13:38,792 --> 01:13:43,238 at the hand of his loyal partner, Dr. Watson. 1429 01:13:43,239 --> 01:13:45,162 I've done your bidding. 1430 01:13:45,163 --> 01:13:47,486 Now set me free. 1431 01:13:47,487 --> 01:13:49,932 You're gonna die here. 1432 01:13:49,933 --> 01:13:51,494 You gave me your word. 1433 01:13:51,495 --> 01:13:53,097 You swore on the life of the Queen. 1434 01:13:53,098 --> 01:13:56,824 I'm gonna kill the Queen, you big eejit. Boys! 1435 01:13:56,825 --> 01:13:58,788 Mrs. Hudson is the killer? Mmm-hmm. 1436 01:13:58,789 --> 01:13:59,990 Gorblimey! 1437 01:13:59,991 --> 01:14:01,474 How'd you work that out? 1438 01:14:01,475 --> 01:14:03,758 Why, it was Watson who told me. 1439 01:14:03,759 --> 01:14:06,322 You see, beet sugar. 1440 01:14:06,323 --> 01:14:09,168 Mrs. Hudson's family recipe and Watson's favorite. 1441 01:14:09,169 --> 01:14:10,771 He never would have left crumbs behind 1442 01:14:10,772 --> 01:14:12,614 unless he was leaving me a clue. 1443 01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:16,101 For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's origins are not so humble. 1444 01:14:16,102 --> 01:14:19,828 She is none other than the daughter of Professor James Moriarty. 1445 01:14:19,829 --> 01:14:21,392 No, it ain't possible. 1446 01:14:21,393 --> 01:14:24,637 You see, Mrs. Hudson never knew her father. 1447 01:14:24,638 --> 01:14:26,201 He was never present. 1448 01:14:26,202 --> 01:14:28,003 To gain his love, 1449 01:14:28,004 --> 01:14:29,927 she tried to pull off the greatest crime ever. 1450 01:14:29,928 --> 01:14:32,933 Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes. 1451 01:14:32,934 --> 01:14:36,380 She took a job at my house in order to study my methods, 1452 01:14:36,381 --> 01:14:39,706 then used a network of patsies to execute her plans. 1453 01:14:39,707 --> 01:14:42,631 However, it wasn't until I understood feelings 1454 01:14:42,632 --> 01:14:44,635 that I understood her motive, 1455 01:14:44,636 --> 01:14:47,441 her need for her father's love. 1456 01:14:47,442 --> 01:14:50,607 She would gain it by eliminating his greatest enemy, 1457 01:14:50,608 --> 01:14:51,438 me. 1458 01:14:52,251 --> 01:14:56,378 And tonight, she will commit her boldest crime yet, 1459 01:14:56,379 --> 01:14:59,904 killing the Queen here! 1460 01:14:59,905 --> 01:15:01,748 The Titanic. 1461 01:15:01,749 --> 01:15:03,751 The marvel of London. 1462 01:15:03,752 --> 01:15:07,759 A new castle, which runs on coal. 1463 01:15:07,760 --> 01:15:10,445 Your Majesty, may I introduce Lieutenant Morgan. 1464 01:15:10,446 --> 01:15:12,208 Lieutenant. 1465 01:15:12,209 --> 01:15:14,573 First Officer Carter. 1466 01:15:14,574 --> 01:15:17,097 - Your Majesty. - First Officer. 1467 01:15:17,098 --> 01:15:19,702 Look, Hudson's goons. 1468 01:15:19,703 --> 01:15:22,908 - Create a diversion. - You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes. 1469 01:15:22,909 --> 01:15:24,150 We'll take care of this lot. 1470 01:15:24,151 --> 01:15:25,954 Come on, you tom tit! 1471 01:15:25,955 --> 01:15:29,480 You ain't bigger than a couple of powder monkeys. 1472 01:15:29,481 --> 01:15:31,284 Is there a problem, boys? 1473 01:15:31,285 --> 01:15:33,889 Think we can take them, lads. Aye? 1474 01:15:33,890 --> 01:15:36,053 Walk away now, and I promise you won't get hurt. 1475 01:15:36,054 --> 01:15:38,698 A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies? 1476 01:15:38,699 --> 01:15:41,759 American ladies. 1477 01:15:45,071 --> 01:15:47,641 Not my eyes! 1478 01:15:51,203 --> 01:15:53,927 I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson. 1479 01:15:53,928 --> 01:15:56,612 I'm gonna crush your head. 1480 01:15:56,613 --> 01:15:59,537 There's gonna be brains everywhere. 1481 01:15:59,538 --> 01:16:02,142 And I'll not be cleaning up after. 1482 01:16:02,143 --> 01:16:03,665 I know you're threatening me, 1483 01:16:03,666 --> 01:16:06,030 but I can't understand a word you're saying. 1484 01:16:06,031 --> 01:16:08,555 You're staying, Dr. Watson, 1485 01:16:08,556 --> 01:16:12,362 but I'll be on my way to America by the time the bomb explodes. 1486 01:16:12,363 --> 01:16:13,805 Sherlock will save me. 1487 01:16:13,806 --> 01:16:15,729 You'll see. I'll see. 1488 01:16:15,730 --> 01:16:17,572 He won't let me down. 1489 01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:21,339 He won't. He's my best friend! 1490 01:16:21,340 --> 01:16:23,130 Dollface! 1491 01:16:27,311 --> 01:16:29,034 Come on, boys. 1492 01:16:29,035 --> 01:16:31,879 The bomb goes off in 10 minutes. Sherlock! 1493 01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:33,670 Sherlock! 1494 01:16:34,605 --> 01:16:36,768 Help! Help! 1495 01:16:36,769 --> 01:16:38,559 Sherlock! 1496 01:16:39,054 --> 01:16:40,204 Help! 1497 01:16:41,859 --> 01:16:43,329 Watson! 1498 01:16:45,346 --> 01:16:49,272 Oh, God, if you save me, I'll never touch myself again. 1499 01:16:49,273 --> 01:16:51,717 Watson! Oh, Sherlock. 1500 01:16:51,718 --> 01:16:53,480 You've come for me. I knew you would. 1501 01:16:53,481 --> 01:16:55,805 Watson, good news. 1502 01:16:55,806 --> 01:16:58,009 You're innocent. 1503 01:16:58,010 --> 01:16:59,852 Yes. I know. 1504 01:16:59,853 --> 01:17:02,056 Oh. Thank you. 1505 01:17:02,057 --> 01:17:03,980 Can you forgive me? Of course. 1506 01:17:03,981 --> 01:17:06,545 Now, be a good chap, and get me out of this damn thing 1507 01:17:06,546 --> 01:17:08,388 before it crushes my skull. 1508 01:17:08,389 --> 01:17:10,031 Yes? There's a good chap. Go on. 1509 01:17:10,032 --> 01:17:12,636 I won't leave you. Not again. 1510 01:17:12,637 --> 01:17:15,001 That's a lovely sentiment, but I really need you 1511 01:17:15,002 --> 01:17:17,045 to free me from this gear right now. 1512 01:17:17,046 --> 01:17:19,650 Emotions are spewing from my heart. 1513 01:17:19,651 --> 01:17:21,333 Pull yourself together. Okay. 1514 01:17:21,334 --> 01:17:23,417 Stop crying. 1515 01:17:23,418 --> 01:17:25,020 Because we must get the Queen and everyone else off this ship. 1516 01:17:25,021 --> 01:17:26,904 You see, Hudson has planted a bomb. 1517 01:17:26,905 --> 01:17:28,747 A time bomb, you see? 1518 01:17:28,748 --> 01:17:30,911 You must free me. Do you feel my heart ticking? 1519 01:17:30,912 --> 01:17:32,915 Get me off this fucking wheel! 1520 01:17:32,916 --> 01:17:35,681 All my dreams are coming true. 1521 01:17:35,682 --> 01:17:40,008 In just two minutes, my bomb will go off, killing the Queen. 1522 01:17:40,009 --> 01:17:42,253 Sherlock Holmes will go down in history 1523 01:17:42,254 --> 01:17:45,779 as the worst detective the world has ever known. 1524 01:17:45,780 --> 01:17:51,270 And the name Moriarty will live on forever! 1525 01:17:51,271 --> 01:17:52,741 Father, 1526 01:17:53,035 --> 01:17:55,798 soon, we shall be together again. 1527 01:17:55,799 --> 01:17:59,969 - In America! - Yeah! 1528 01:18:05,738 --> 01:18:08,503 The bomb will detonate in one minute. 1529 01:18:08,504 --> 01:18:11,629 Where could it possibly be? 1530 01:18:11,630 --> 01:18:12,780 Wait. 1531 01:18:13,032 --> 01:18:14,955 That kettle drum. 1532 01:18:14,956 --> 01:18:18,081 Those are only ever used in mounted cavalry formations, 1533 01:18:18,082 --> 01:18:20,165 never in a Marine band. 1534 01:18:20,166 --> 01:18:21,487 Perhaps... 1535 01:18:21,488 --> 01:18:24,132 The bomb is in the drum. Very good, Watson. 1536 01:18:24,133 --> 01:18:25,936 But the Queen is standing just beside it. 1537 01:18:25,937 --> 01:18:27,418 She'll be blown to smithereens. 1538 01:18:27,419 --> 01:18:30,625 But how to defuse it in time? 1539 01:18:30,626 --> 01:18:34,392 Time remaining until bomb detonation, 55 seconds. 1540 01:18:34,393 --> 01:18:37,959 Estimated blast radius from bomb, 17 feet. 1541 01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:41,165 Time required to move queen to safety, 12 seconds. 1542 01:18:41,166 --> 01:18:43,049 Solution, move through crowd, 1543 01:18:43,050 --> 01:18:46,254 see Millie for the first time, forget about bomb... 1544 01:18:46,255 --> 01:18:47,085 No. 1545 01:18:51,345 --> 01:18:53,308 Time remaining, 37 seconds. 1546 01:18:53,309 --> 01:18:55,873 Solution, shoot water main to douse bomb, 1547 01:18:55,874 --> 01:18:57,877 remember Millie at the park, forget about bomb. 1548 01:18:57,878 --> 01:19:03,447 No, I forgot about the bomb! 1549 01:19:03,448 --> 01:19:06,133 Watson, what are you doing in my brain? 1550 01:19:06,134 --> 01:19:07,575 I'm doing it. 1551 01:19:07,576 --> 01:19:10,180 I'm communicating without words. 1552 01:19:10,181 --> 01:19:12,866 I can't focus. I was trying to formulate a plan, 1553 01:19:12,867 --> 01:19:14,869 and I kept getting off track. 1554 01:19:14,870 --> 01:19:17,474 Holmes, no, you don't. Snap out of it. 1555 01:19:17,475 --> 01:19:19,277 I can't. I'm too emotional. 1556 01:19:19,278 --> 01:19:21,923 Look behind me. The Queen's being blown to bits. 1557 01:19:21,924 --> 01:19:23,605 You have to take control. 1558 01:19:23,606 --> 01:19:25,809 You must be detective for both of us. 1559 01:19:25,810 --> 01:19:27,120 Right. 1560 01:19:28,496 --> 01:19:30,057 I know what I must do. 1561 01:19:30,058 --> 01:19:32,062 Estimated blast radius, 1562 01:19:32,063 --> 01:19:33,945 20... No, 30 feet? 1563 01:19:33,946 --> 01:19:35,388 Account for ship's movement. 1564 01:19:35,389 --> 01:19:37,071 Wait. Is that a four or a seven? 1565 01:19:37,072 --> 01:19:38,955 Math is so hard. Hold on. 1566 01:19:38,956 --> 01:19:40,918 What does that "X" mean? Or is that a plus? 1567 01:19:40,919 --> 01:19:42,722 What is that thing? Angle of approach? 1568 01:19:42,723 --> 01:19:44,245 Oh, I don't know how to do angles. 1569 01:19:44,246 --> 01:19:45,407 Should have listened more in school. 1570 01:19:45,408 --> 01:19:48,934 Oh, screw it. Charge! 1571 01:19:48,935 --> 01:19:50,336 Out of my way! 1572 01:19:50,337 --> 01:19:51,487 Move! 1573 01:19:52,021 --> 01:19:54,664 Nine, eight... 1574 01:19:54,665 --> 01:19:56,187 Coming through! 1575 01:19:56,188 --> 01:19:58,993 So sorry! ...seven... 1576 01:19:58,994 --> 01:20:00,435 Come on. 1577 01:20:00,436 --> 01:20:01,838 Move your tuchis! 1578 01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:04,579 Sorry, friend! 1579 01:20:04,845 --> 01:20:06,475 ...five, 1580 01:20:06,768 --> 01:20:08,238 four... 1581 01:20:10,816 --> 01:20:12,606 ...two... 1582 01:20:16,868 --> 01:20:18,808 Aw, shit! 1583 01:20:23,881 --> 01:20:25,243 Huzzah. 1584 01:20:25,244 --> 01:20:27,327 Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes. 1585 01:20:27,328 --> 01:20:30,894 Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic. 1586 01:20:30,895 --> 01:20:33,137 - Huzzah! - Hurrah for Sherlock! 1587 01:20:33,138 --> 01:20:34,821 Bravo, Sherlock! 1588 01:20:34,822 --> 01:20:36,384 Sherlock Holmes was right about everything! 1589 01:20:36,385 --> 01:20:38,508 Hip hip hooray! 1590 01:20:38,509 --> 01:20:41,433 Thank you. Thank you. 1591 01:20:41,434 --> 01:20:44,319 But I could never have done it without Dr. Watson. 1592 01:20:44,320 --> 01:20:48,727 Oh, no. Let Watson's name be forever associated 1593 01:20:48,728 --> 01:20:50,972 with the Titanic. 1594 01:20:50,973 --> 01:20:54,939 So, when you think of your friends and relatives on board the Titanic, 1595 01:20:54,940 --> 01:20:56,582 just remember, 1596 01:20:56,583 --> 01:21:01,271 Dr. John H. Watson put them there. 1597 01:21:01,272 --> 01:21:03,275 Hooray for Watson! 1598 01:21:03,276 --> 01:21:06,601 Bloody good we didn't hang him. 1599 01:21:06,602 --> 01:21:08,862 Dr. Watson, 1600 01:21:08,927 --> 01:21:10,689 you saved us. 1601 01:21:10,690 --> 01:21:12,413 Thank you. 1602 01:21:12,414 --> 01:21:22,434 It has been my pleasure to serve you, Your Majesty. 1603 01:21:31,409 --> 01:21:33,669 No, Millie. 1604 01:21:43,392 --> 01:21:45,515 I have a confession to make. 1605 01:21:45,516 --> 01:21:48,200 I'm not actually in love with you. 1606 01:21:48,201 --> 01:21:50,445 In order to conclude my investigation, 1607 01:21:50,446 --> 01:21:54,052 it was imperative that I understood what love felt like. 1608 01:21:54,053 --> 01:21:56,657 I'm sorry to have led you on. 1609 01:21:56,658 --> 01:21:58,339 I have a confession as well. 1610 01:21:58,340 --> 01:21:59,983 I was also not in love. 1611 01:21:59,984 --> 01:22:01,586 I was conducting an experiment 1612 01:22:01,587 --> 01:22:04,431 on how easy it is to manipulate the male ego. 1613 01:22:04,432 --> 01:22:07,678 What? I'm sorry I led you on. 1614 01:22:07,679 --> 01:22:10,082 Well, I have another confession. 1615 01:22:10,083 --> 01:22:12,727 Hmm. I was just pretending to have a big ego 1616 01:22:12,728 --> 01:22:15,532 so as to make you think that your experiment was working 1617 01:22:15,533 --> 01:22:17,697 so that I could conclude my experiment on you. 1618 01:22:17,698 --> 01:22:19,620 Well, I had to lead you on 1619 01:22:19,621 --> 01:22:22,105 because I was doing an experiment about how men think 1620 01:22:22,106 --> 01:22:24,109 they can manipulate female scientists while they're doing experiments. 1621 01:22:24,110 --> 01:22:31,760 Well, I have another confession to make. 1622 01:22:37,575 --> 01:22:41,381 You will be shocked to learn that was my first kiss. 1623 01:22:41,382 --> 01:22:43,947 Mine as well, and we've already mastered it. 1624 01:22:43,948 --> 01:22:45,309 Yes, indeed. 1625 01:22:45,310 --> 01:22:47,152 All aboard! 1626 01:22:47,153 --> 01:22:49,757 She sails in 20 minutes! 1627 01:22:49,758 --> 01:22:51,721 Hurry, everyone! Step lively! 1628 01:22:51,722 --> 01:22:54,406 Enjoy your trip on the safest ship to sail. 1629 01:22:54,407 --> 01:22:55,809 Goodbye. 1630 01:22:55,810 --> 01:22:57,332 Farewell, Grace. 1631 01:22:57,333 --> 01:22:58,574 Goodbye, Millie. 1632 01:22:58,575 --> 01:23:01,140 Make sure you get plenty of bed rest. 1633 01:23:01,141 --> 01:23:02,822 There's a good chance you're pregnant. 1634 01:23:02,823 --> 01:23:03,985 I hope so. 1635 01:23:03,986 --> 01:23:07,070 From... From the kissing? 1636 01:23:07,071 --> 01:23:09,961 Yes. Oh, yes. 1637 01:23:10,198 --> 01:23:11,879 What a grand ship. 1638 01:23:11,880 --> 01:23:12,870 Yes. 1639 01:23:13,002 --> 01:23:15,582 Watson, look. 1640 01:23:15,928 --> 01:23:18,452 It's Billy Zane. 1641 01:23:18,453 --> 01:23:20,243 Sherlock. 1642 01:23:21,218 --> 01:23:24,343 Wow. He's breathtaking. 1643 01:23:24,344 --> 01:23:30,394 Where's the bar on this canoe? 1644 01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:32,599 Holmes. Mmm. 1645 01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,924 I believe I may have solved the one mystery 1646 01:23:34,925 --> 01:23:38,249 which has baffled you all these years. 1647 01:23:38,250 --> 01:23:39,400 What? 1648 01:23:43,180 --> 01:23:46,230 Would you mind? 1649 01:23:46,587 --> 01:23:47,417 Ah. 1650 01:23:47,868 --> 01:23:49,110 Do you like it? 1651 01:23:49,111 --> 01:23:51,595 Let's see here. Huh? 1652 01:23:51,596 --> 01:23:53,638 Oh, it suits you. Mmm. 1653 01:23:53,639 --> 01:23:56,123 I think it's perfect. Really? 1654 01:23:56,124 --> 01:23:59,651 You're not just saying that? No, I'm not just saying it. 1655 01:23:59,652 --> 01:24:01,814 Good. Thank you, Watson. 1656 01:24:01,815 --> 01:24:03,698 And I have something for you as well. 1657 01:24:03,699 --> 01:24:06,142 No. No. Please. Step over here. 1658 01:24:06,143 --> 01:24:10,430 Why? I don't deserve anything. 1659 01:24:10,431 --> 01:24:12,315 My dear Watson. 1660 01:24:12,316 --> 01:24:14,117 What do you think? 1661 01:24:14,118 --> 01:24:17,168 It's beautiful. 1662 01:24:43,375 --> 01:24:48,342 Telegram for Professor Moriarty. 1663 01:24:48,343 --> 01:24:50,293 Professor? 1664 01:24:56,800 --> 01:25:00,640 Boy, who sent this? 118173