All language subtitles for Reba - 2x17 - The Feud.eng

Okay, Mr. Ramsey. I'll see you at 3:00
for your teeth cleaning. Uh-huh.

Oh, and remember,
floss is a man's best friend!

Dr. Fisher insists I say that.

N-Well, no. I didn't mean
to insult your dog.

See ya at 3:00. Bye!

Brock, what are you doin' here?
What if Eugene sees you?

I don't care. Thanks to him, I got
another citation from the building manager.

This one's for a fire code violation...

for having too many patients
in my waiting room.

I don't want to hear about it.

When my ex-husband and my boss are fightin',
there's no one to cheer for.

I just stay clear and hope
the game is called because of stupidity.

Fine. Give this to Eugene.

They dropped his dental supplies
by my office.

- Oh! I thought I smelled a rat.
- So you have rats, huh?

Somebody should call the manager.

" Hello, manager? I'm a big girl.''

Guys, you're makin' my life miserable.

Don't you think you could just
knock this whole thing off?

Hope you're talking about his head
'cause I'd like to knock it off.

- He threatened me!
You heard him. Call the police.
- Brock,just go.

Fine. But you are not getting me
kicked out of this building.

- You're goin' in the log!
- Ooh! I'm goin' in the log!

Make a note of his latest offense.

I want him out on the street,
practicing dentistry under a bridge.

- What did he ever do to you?
- It's personal.

I can't stand the thought of sharing the
building with that wannabe George Hamilton.

Okay. Fine.

If you guys wanna hate each other,
that's your business.

But why do I have to be a part of it?

Reba, I'm not a confrontational man...

but I have to say this
clearly and concisely.

Help me get Brock out of the building
or look for another job!

- Oh!
- [ Door Slams ]

- Eugene, I wouldn't open that if I were you!
- [ Muffled Explosion ]

Never mind. I'll get the log.
[ Laughs ]

[ Reba ]
Ha, hey.!

?? [ Singing ]

?? [ Continues ]

?? [ Ends ]

[ Sighs ]
I'm warnin' you right now.

I had a bad day at work so back off.

You need this more than I do.

Oh, thank you, honey.

- You are such a kiss-up.
- I am not!

Hey, cut it out.

I get enough of that at work.
You two are as bad as a couple of dentists.

Kyra, why do you have
to cause trouble?

Ever since the cutbacks
in after-school programs, I've been bored.

Write your congressman.

- Hey, Mom!
- Don't you start with me too.

Ooh, I sure had that one comin'.

Sorry. Bad day at the office.

Well, in that case,you should do
what Cheyenne does when she's upset:

Go to the mall and buy yourself
somethin' pretty.

No, go ahead. Pick a couple.

Van, did you cash your paycheck
all in ones again?

Yes, only this time
there's a whole lot more.

It's from tree-trimming I've been doing
with Oscar after work.

He's paying me in cash.
No taxes- Everybody wins.

- Yes. It is called " off the books.''
- Mm-hmm.

It's called " cheating the government.''

No, it's called off the books.

The government actually saves money...

because they don't have to deal
with all those extra books.

Well, it's wrong.

So you either pay your taxes
or quit your job.

Wait, Mrs. H.
Mrs. H, hold on now.

Would, uh, 20 bucks
make this go away?

Twenty bucks?
[ Laughs ]

No.

Well, I can't claim the money.
Oscar would get in trouble.

Well, you can't quit your job
because that would upset me.

Then I'd have to go to the mall,
but I couldn't 'cause we wouldn't have any money.

Cheyenne, calm down. I am not quitting
my job. I'm just gonna lie to your mom.

Oh, thank God.

- We'll just have to act poor and not let on.
- Okay.

[ Shouting ] Cheyenne,
I'm gonna be out quitting my job.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Knocking ]

- Hey, Reba. You wanted to see me?
- Yes.

- Brock, you need to put an end
to this thing with Eugene.
- Me?

Why me? I'm winnin'.

Because if it keeps going, I'm gonna have
to help him or I'll lose my job.

That snake- Using you to fight
his dirty little war.

Join me, Reba, and together
we can ruin him.

What happened between you two?
You used to be friends.

I don't know. I woke up one day,
and he hated me.

So you're sayin'
he finally got to know ya.

Maybe it's a misunderstanding, and you just
need to sit down and talk about it.

It's too late for that, Reba.
This has gone too far.

Brock, I love my job.

The only bad thing about it
is you two morons.

Fine. I'll sit down if he will.

- Good.
- But he won't, because he lives for this stuff.

What, you think he has
a personal life? No.

This feud is his
most significant human contact.

Must be hard always being right.

Eugene!

[ Hisses ]

I'm surprised you got him
to come over, Reba.

I thought he'd be at the salon
working on that fake-and-bake tan.

This is natural.
I play golf...

you pasty-faced nancy-boy.

Look, you're both right...

but right now we're here
to work things out.

So have a seat. Sit down.

I'll sit when he sits.

- No, you sit.
- No, you sit.

- You sit first.
- No, you-

Sit down!

Who wants to go first?
Who wants to be the bigger man?

Okay, fine.
But you started all this.

Everything I've done has been
in retaliation for something.

You deserve everything I've done to you
and more. You ruined my life.

How? How have I ruined your life?

Oh, are you forgetting
about a certain woman...

and what you did to her
about two years ago?

Oh, my gosh.

This is about me?

Eugene, I didn't know
you were so protective.

Not you, you egomaniac!

Barbra Jean!

He stole her from me!

[ Together]
What?

The only woman that ever
meant anything to me-

Wait a second.

You two have put me through all this stuff
just because of Barbra Jean?

[ Muffled Screaming ]

I'm okay.

Give me a break.
You never dated Barbra Jean.

Three times-
state fair, state fair, bowling.

Did you take her to the state fair
or was she working there?

You're a-You're a lying little weasel...

with a- with a sick little mind.

Oh! Oh! Touched a nerve, did I?

What are you worried about, Brock?
That she still wants me?

Pal, you just crossed the line!

Get away from me right now!
[ Grunts ]

- [ Screams ]
- [ Thuds ]

- Are you okay, pal?
- Ow.

Oh, my back.

I'm going to sue you, Brock...

for everything you have!

You'll be sorry you took my lady.

I think we're makin' progress.

- Morning, Reba.
- Morning, Eugene.

Whoa. Have you gotten taller,
or is it that neck brace?

I need you to book an appointment
for Mrs. Haggerty...

order some more X-ray film...

and when you testify in tomorrow's hearing,
agree with everything I say.

Eugene, you can't ask me
to do something like that.

I'm not asking you to do it for me.

I'm asking you to do it
because you hate Brock more than I do.

- I don't hate Brock.
- Really?

You have no problem with
the man who abandoned you...

and made you a laughingstock
in front of the entire dental community?

Yeah, that's a crowd I'll miss.

Regardless, all I have to do tomorrow
is tell the truth.

I understand that you're not gonna lie on
the stand and you're honest and all that crap.

But which truth are you
going to tell tomorrow?

Eugene, it's very simple.

You took a swing at Brock,
he ducked, and you fell.

Yes, that happened,
but is that all that happened?

Well, you wept.

Tears of joy, because I finally had him
where I wanted him.

But you took the first swing.

Reba, look at me.

Would I take a swing at that man
unless he was on the attack?

Well, we don't know for sure
that he was gonna attack.

Exactly! We don't know.

Only Brock knows what's in his heart-

his cold, adulterous heart.

Can you get me some coffee?

Hey, look at this.
I have it all figured out.

If we take the extra money
I've been making...

and invest it in a no-risk
real estate scheme...

that money will rocket us
to vast wealth.

I saw this guy talk about it on TV.

He was in Hawaii sitting by a pool.

But, Van, what if we get caught?

I mean, this is illegal.
We could go to jail.

Look at me, Van. I wouldn't last
three days in the can.

We're not gonna get caught. Have you
ever heard of anyone getting caught?

You know, maybe you just need
a little green love. Okay?

-Just leave me out of it.
- ?? [ Hums ]

For once, Van,
I think you got a good point.

Are you mocking me in some way
I don't understand?

No, I agree that there's no way
the government will catch you...

unless they catch Oscar
and they cut him a deal to rat you out.

[ Scoffs ]
Oscar won't rat me out.

Yeah, you're right. I'm sure
he'd go to prison just to save your hide.

'Cause you guys are, like,
best friends, right?

Well, I wouldn't say best friends.

I mean, the other day I was talkin' to him
and forgot his name.

Well, I bet he won't forget your name...

'cause that's the first thing he's gonna say
when they haul him in.

Oh, man, Oscar's a wuss.
He's gonna roll over like he's French!

[ Man ] All right. Everybody take a seat.
We need to begin.

Now, both parties have consented
to hold these hearings without counsel...

and to abide by the ruling
from the bench as binding.

Furthermore-

And isn't it true
that at that point, Dr. Hart...

that large, intimidating,
apelike man seated over there...

moved toward me
in a threatening manner?

Well, he moved toward you.
That part's true.

But I don't know if it was
in a threatening manner.

Ms. Hart...

how much do you think I weigh?

Sixty pounds.

A hundred and 1 3.

- And Dr. Hart is probably closer to 280.
- Objection!

I move that comment be stricken
from the record.

This is not a formal court of law.
All you have to say is " Excuse me.''

- Dr. Fisher, get to the point.
- Yes, Your Honor.

Did that much larger man
make the first move?

- Well, it's kind of hard to say-
- Yes or no?

- Yes, he did.
- Then my injuries are his fault.

- I have no more questions.
- [ Murmuring ]

Do you hear that, Brock?
That's a hubbub.

That is not a good sound
in a courtroom.

I don't have any choice.
I've gotta take her down.

Your Honor...

- I don't believe this witness's
testimony can be trusted.
- Hey!

Ms. Hart, do you know what it means
to be a hostile witness?

Bite me.

Do you remember that a few moments ago
you swore to tell the truth?

I appreciate the lecture in honesty,
Brock...

but I always tell the truth.

Reba-

[ Stomps Feet ]
why do you think we got divorced?

[ Laughs ] I'm sure if you keep talkin'
the court will understand.

- It's because I had an affair, right?
- As crazy as it sounds.

Mm-hmm. But wasn't our marriage
in trouble long before that affair?

Well, if it was, it was because
you stopped communicating.

Maybe I stopped communicating because you
weren't interested in what I was goin' through.

Oh, that's all you wanted to talk about,
you big baby-what you were goin' through.

I was goin' through a bunch of stuff too.

Yeah, but to get you to open up about it
was impossible. No, you just wanted to sulk.

Well, it's kind of hard to open up
when you know nobody's listenin' to ya.

- Hey, I'm a very good listener.
- Ha-ha! That's a good one!

Chewing ice and staring at someone when
they're trying to speak to you is not listening!

So you stop talking,
and it's all my fault.

Boy, you'll find a way to blame me
for anything, won't ya?

- You're darn right I will.
- [ Murmuring ]

Hmm.

So...

Mrs. Hart...

did you allow your personal feelings
to influence your testimony?

Did you lie under oath
thereby committing perjury?

Oh, no. No, no, Your Honor.
That's not what I was trying to prove.

Doesn't matter what you were
trying to prove, Mr. Hart.

Did you commit perjury?

Well, I didn't mean to.

- Wait, wait. No! I don't want
to get her into any trouble!
- Dr. Hart, please. I've-

See, look, all that she's done
this entire time is...

try and get Eugene and me
to stop acting like a couple of idiots.

Reba, I'm sorry I dragged you
into this whole thing.

Mmm. That's a beautiful speech.

Beautiful.

Of course, you realize, if she didn't lie,
you're guilty.

[ Gasps ]

Well, go easy on her.

Wha-

Oh, wait, wait, wait. All right.

I'm guilty. I wanted to hit him.

Ha! He admits it! Victory is mine!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Your Honor, I am willing
to forget everything...

even the terrible pain
that I have to live with every day...

and let it go...

if he'll move out of the building.

- [ Gasps ]
- BarbieJ....

now do you see
that I'm the better man?

- What happened to you?
- I won.

No, the man that took me to the fair
wouldn't do this.

Where's the man that won me
the stuffed Pink Panther?

The man who bought me
two chili dogs and cotton candy?

The man who held my hair back
after the Tilt-A-Whirl?

Kind of puts Romeo and Juliet
to shame, doesn't it?

I love Brock now...

and only Brock.

Damn this spell I put men under!

[ Eugene ]
Your Honor...

I'm dropping all the charges.

You may release the ape!

Van, there's a man on the phone for you.

He says his name is Ira.

I don't know anybody named Ira.

Ira S.

[ Whispering ]
The I.R.S.?

Oh, my God. They know!

They know. What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?

Van, calm down. Do you want me
to talk to them?

Would you?

You are an angel in black.

Hello?

I'm sorry. Van's not in right now.
He's volunteering at the soup kitchen.

You-You say
he owes back taxes?

Well, maybe it's a mistake.

Uh-huh. Well, I can assure you
he doesn't want to go to jail.

Tell them I'll pay.
They can have it all.

Wait. What if I were to bring you
the $7 0 he owes?

- Would that help?
- Yeah! Yeah.

Plus a $30 fine. Well, good.
I'll see you tomorrow.

No, thank you.

- Did they buy it?
- Yes, Van.

[ Laughing ]

Oh, Kyra. You are my hero!
You saved me.

All right. Here's the money.
I- I'd give you a tip if I had any left, but-

Well, we'll just say
you owe me 1 0.

I guess we all learned
that honesty is the best policy.

Oh, I sure did!

[ Giggles ]

And here's your cut.

That part about Ira was brilliant.

You said 20.

Come on,Jake.
You gotta pay your taxes.

Hey, Reba. You called?

Yeah. I wanted to talk to Brock.

Did you want to tell him how wonderful
and noble he was in court today?

- Oh, honey. Stop.
- Yeah, honey. Stop.

That was a nice thing you did.

But I was a little ashamed
of myself how I snapped like that.

See, despite the fact
that you despise Brock...

he rose above that...
"despisiveness.''

Barbra Jean, honey, could you
do me a favor and wait in the car?

Excuse me, but I believe
this is Reba's house.

- I'll wait in the car.
- Thanks, honey.

Don't play with the radio.

Listen, Reba. It's okay
if you still despise me. I can handle it.

I can't. I've been tellin' you and Eugene
to let bygones be bygones, and...

here I am holding on to a grudge
like Van with a ham sandwich.

- That bad, huh?
- Yeah.

But after what happened today, I've decided
to let go of some of my anger toward you.

Are you gonna hit me?

That'd probably do it.

But I need to take
a more long-term approach.

Well, that's very healthy.
Listen, if you need a therapist...

I know a guy
that just got his license back.

I'm good.

But as a first step,
I've got a confession to make.

You remember when you moved out,
I told you I couldn't remember
where your favorite putter was?

- Uh-huh.
- [ Chuckling ]

Well, here.

- Well.
- [ Chuckles ]

You know, since we're bein' honest,
well, I realized today...

- that I still have a little anger toward you too.
- What?

- Yeah.
- What do you have to be angry about?

You're the one that started this stupid thing!
How could you be so selfish?

This might take a while.

Acme.!
[ Coughing ]