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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
2
00:00:13,384 --> 00:00:16,551
Yeah, 11, Charlie, uh, 51,
uh, coming in Reno.
3
00:00:16,651 --> 00:00:19,851
We're, uh, chasing suspect.
Firing at vehicle.
4
00:00:19,951 --> 00:00:22,417
Jones returning fire
and missing!
5
00:00:22,517 --> 00:00:24,684
Whoa-ho-ho! Whoa-ho!
Damn it!
6
00:00:24,784 --> 00:00:26,884
Hey, here,
you want my clip?
7
00:00:26,984 --> 00:00:29,250
Hold the wheel.
Hold the wheel.
8
00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:30,350
Whoo!
9
00:00:32,018 --> 00:00:34,350
Whoa, there you are!
10
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,317
Whoa! Look out!
11
00:00:42,551 --> 00:00:45,651
Oh-ho! Ohh-h-h!
12
00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:53,284
Aah! Aah! Aah!
13
00:00:53,384 --> 00:00:55,417
Hey, dog. Yeah.
14
00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:03,717
Ho, ho! Ho!
15
00:01:20,584 --> 00:01:22,918
Oh, wow.
There he is, huh?
16
00:01:23,018 --> 00:01:27,317
Okay, gang, I just got off the
phone with Carson city,
17
00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:30,317
and it's true the FBI
is coming in
18
00:01:30,417 --> 00:01:33,450
to take a look at
the investigation.
19
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:36,551
So please promise me the most
important thing...
20
00:01:36,651 --> 00:01:39,851
Let's not act like dicks
in front of the FBI, okay?
21
00:01:39,951 --> 00:01:42,784
We're gonna be law-enforcement
professionals.
22
00:01:42,884 --> 00:01:44,617
Gimme a "yes, sir."
Come on.
23
00:01:44,717 --> 00:01:46,417
Yes, sir.
Yes, siryes, siryes, sir.
24
00:01:46,517 --> 00:01:48,117
Thank you. Thank you.
25
00:01:48,217 --> 00:01:49,751
It kind of looks like
he's got a boner.
26
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,384
Let's look and see.
27
00:01:52,484 --> 00:01:53,884
No, no, no, no, no!
28
00:01:53,984 --> 00:01:56,284
Don't touch anything
until the FBI's here.
29
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,918
Speak of the devil.
Let's get into ranks.
30
00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:01,117
Form into ranks.
Form into ranks.
31
00:02:01,217 --> 00:02:03,183
What do you mean?
Like, a line?
32
00:02:03,284 --> 00:02:05,784
Well, like ranks.
No, no, I don't mean...
33
00:02:05,884 --> 00:02:08,083
I just mean...
Like a professional.
34
00:02:08,183 --> 00:02:10,851
Don't do a conga line.
Do like a...
35
00:02:10,951 --> 00:02:13,717
Just stand in a...
That looks stupid.
36
00:02:13,817 --> 00:02:16,350
We look stupid.
Okay, here we go.
37
00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:19,484
All right, good work, team.
Good evening.
38
00:02:19,584 --> 00:02:20,884
No need to salute.
39
00:02:20,984 --> 00:02:23,417
I'm agent Cowan.
This is agent Richards.
40
00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:25,350
Hi, I'm lieutenant Dangle
and this is...
41
00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:26,951
Should I go through...?
No need.
42
00:02:27,050 --> 00:02:30,617
Um... So...
43
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,217
There's the guy, I guess.
44
00:02:33,317 --> 00:02:35,517
That's why we're here.
45
00:02:35,617 --> 00:02:36,817
Yeah. Duh.
46
00:02:36,918 --> 00:02:38,984
So, what we're gonna need
you guys to do
47
00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:41,817
is get on the other side of that
tape and secure the perimeter.
48
00:02:41,918 --> 00:02:44,250
Go stand on the other side
of the tape?
49
00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,050
Okay, I got it.
I'm sorry.
50
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:48,884
Yeah, so we'll just go over
there and do, uh...
51
00:02:48,984 --> 00:02:51,384
Thank you for leaping
over the evidence.
52
00:02:51,484 --> 00:02:53,517
I want to get
some pictures here.
53
00:02:53,617 --> 00:02:55,183
I want to lift some prints.
54
00:02:55,284 --> 00:02:57,584
I want you to check the treads
on the sneaks.
55
00:02:57,684 --> 00:02:59,751
I want to hear about it
right away.
56
00:02:59,851 --> 00:03:03,217
The thing is, I just don't see
what's so great about the FBI.
57
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,851
I know everybody here gets a,
you know...
58
00:03:05,951 --> 00:03:07,984
A boner every time
they come by.
59
00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:10,317
Um, what's so great
about it?
60
00:03:10,417 --> 00:03:14,551
They wear suits and handle
the fluids of dead people, okay.
61
00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,517
Um, that is not sexy to me.
62
00:03:16,617 --> 00:03:20,450
Uh, I like being in the streets
with the common people.
63
00:03:20,551 --> 00:03:22,183
I like driving the car.
64
00:03:22,284 --> 00:03:25,717
And I'm not going through
that background check.
65
00:03:25,817 --> 00:03:27,018
Forget about it.
66
00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:32,150
Well, uh...
67
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:35,284
Perimeter's, uh...
68
00:03:35,384 --> 00:03:37,484
Thank you.
We appreciate that.
69
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:38,918
Secure, I guess.
70
00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:41,717
We've a very important job
for you guys.
71
00:03:41,817 --> 00:03:46,183
We're gonna need two large
latte's, one 2%, one nonfat.
72
00:03:46,284 --> 00:03:49,951
We're gonna need a small,
easy mocha-mocha,
73
00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,350
very little whip.
74
00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:53,817
We're gonna need three
café au laits...
75
00:03:53,918 --> 00:03:57,384
One with vanilla, one with
cinnamon, one with chocolate.
76
00:03:57,484 --> 00:03:58,851
Two ice coffees...
77
00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:01,551
One dark, one with heavy sugar,
light cream.
78
00:04:01,651 --> 00:04:03,551
Wait, that's, like,
20 coffees.
79
00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:06,183
Oh, no, that's the kind
that goes in the...
80
00:04:06,284 --> 00:04:08,050
Exactly.
I got it. I got it.
81
00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:10,083
Wonderful.
Thank you very much.
82
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,717
Good work.
Right, uh...
83
00:04:11,817 --> 00:04:14,117
Is that more coffee than...
No, no, no.
84
00:04:14,217 --> 00:04:17,617
She said it weird because it is
the right amount of coffees,
85
00:04:17,717 --> 00:04:20,317
but she said what's in them
in a weird order.
86
00:04:20,417 --> 00:04:22,384
Did you remember
what they were?
87
00:04:22,484 --> 00:04:24,417
I wasn't even
paying attention.
88
00:04:24,517 --> 00:04:26,617
Nobody even makes
that around here.
89
00:04:26,717 --> 00:04:29,250
Obviously, it was blah,
blah, blah to me.
90
00:04:31,951 --> 00:04:33,484
Having the FBI in town
91
00:04:33,584 --> 00:04:36,050
is a little bit like being
chaperoned, you know?
92
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,484
And I don't feel like we need
a chaperone.
93
00:04:38,584 --> 00:04:41,617
I feel like we're perfectly
capable at enforcing the law.
94
00:04:41,717 --> 00:04:43,150
We have a mission today.
95
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,217
We have this kind of junky,
old microwave.
96
00:04:45,317 --> 00:04:46,684
It does not work very well,
97
00:04:46,784 --> 00:04:48,584
and it smells like
spaghetti sauce.
98
00:04:48,684 --> 00:04:50,484
We've had it for about
five years.
99
00:04:50,584 --> 00:04:52,584
It cooks things
about halfway through.
100
00:04:52,684 --> 00:04:55,050
And the county will not give us
a new microwave
101
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:57,050
until this one
is officially broken.
102
00:04:57,150 --> 00:05:00,150
So, without further ado.
103
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,117
Honey,
this is the last time
104
00:05:02,217 --> 00:05:04,450
you will ever burn a bag
of my popcorn.
105
00:05:04,551 --> 00:05:06,551
Okay,
let's break the microwave.
106
00:05:06,651 --> 00:05:09,417
This magic pop is gonna get
this thing to break.
107
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,417
You're never supposed to put
metal in a microwave,
108
00:05:12,517 --> 00:05:14,350
so this should do it.
Let's see.
109
00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:17,083
Get away, get away,
get away, get away!
110
00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:22,384
No, it burned a little bit.
111
00:05:22,484 --> 00:05:24,784
Throw in some marshmallows.
112
00:05:31,384 --> 00:05:32,817
Pretty good.
113
00:05:32,918 --> 00:05:36,551
And if it doesn't work, at least
it'll be kind of yummy.
114
00:05:40,984 --> 00:05:42,651
I got a grenade.
115
00:05:42,751 --> 00:05:44,684
You have a grenade?
116
00:05:44,784 --> 00:05:46,284
That'll do it.
117
00:05:46,384 --> 00:05:47,651
Absolutely.
118
00:05:47,751 --> 00:05:50,284
It's worth a shot, right?
119
00:05:57,927 --> 00:05:58,927
Contact.
120
00:05:58,951 --> 00:06:00,517
Fire in the hole!
121
00:06:02,651 --> 00:06:03,951
Oh-ho!
122
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:05,217
Whoo!
123
00:06:05,317 --> 00:06:06,384
Wow!
124
00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:07,984
Microwave! Yes!
125
00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:11,050
A new microwave
is on the way!
126
00:06:11,150 --> 00:06:12,817
Is that tear gas?
127
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,617
You put tear gas in there?
128
00:06:21,217 --> 00:06:22,450
Halt! Freeze!
129
00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:24,717
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Where you going, sir?
130
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:27,584
Oh, I'm glad you all showed up.
Thank goodness, man.
131
00:06:27,684 --> 00:06:29,150
Uh, somebody came in here.
132
00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,350
I think something awful
happened in here.
133
00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:32,851
Somebody robbed this place.
134
00:06:32,951 --> 00:06:34,884
What are you doing
with money, sir?
135
00:06:34,984 --> 00:06:37,018
Why do you have money
in your pocket?
136
00:06:37,117 --> 00:06:38,951
W-what's that?
It's money, sir.
137
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,817
This... this... this money...
This my money right here.
138
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:44,217
You got anything else
we should know about?
139
00:06:44,317 --> 00:06:45,918
Me?
Yeah, what do you got?
140
00:06:46,018 --> 00:06:47,984
Yeah, I have a gun.
Yeah, you do.
141
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:50,651
Why do you have a weapon, sir?
Is that yours?
142
00:06:50,751 --> 00:06:53,484
No, that's... that's not my gun.
That's not mine.
143
00:06:53,584 --> 00:06:54,751
That's not your gun?
144
00:06:54,851 --> 00:06:56,183
No, I got it. I had it.
145
00:06:56,284 --> 00:06:58,384
I'm gonna be honest
with you all.
146
00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:00,484
I had it,
but that's not my gun.
147
00:07:00,584 --> 00:07:02,384
No, I-I-I didn't rob
this at all.
148
00:07:02,484 --> 00:07:04,450
The ones that did it,
they... they was like,
149
00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:06,717
"aw, hey, you want to rob
this store with me?"
150
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:08,684
I was like, "no, man.
I can't do that."
151
00:07:08,784 --> 00:07:11,050
The police, they don't like
that kind of stuff."
152
00:07:11,150 --> 00:07:13,150
They was like,
"the police."
153
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,050
They said,
"the police"?
154
00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:17,150
They said,
"officer Garcia."
155
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:19,050
They said,
"officer"...?
156
00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:21,050
Were they colored?
They was black.
157
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,350
It was five of them...
Five black dudes.
158
00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:25,951
You probably could still catch
them over there.
159
00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:28,484
There they go,
and they're stupid.
160
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:33,784
Good thing you all showed up.
I'm... I'm gonna go home.
161
00:07:33,884 --> 00:07:36,384
No, you're not.
You ain't going home.
162
00:07:36,484 --> 00:07:39,083
You know I got to bring you in,
right?
163
00:07:39,183 --> 00:07:41,551
I don't know that.
164
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:53,884
If I were in the FBI,
I'd be in a lot of situations
165
00:07:53,984 --> 00:07:56,951
where the chief or whoever
is like,
166
00:07:57,050 --> 00:08:01,117
"you rolled the dice,
and you lost this time, Jim.
167
00:08:01,217 --> 00:08:04,384
You're off the case."
And then, uh...
168
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,851
In some kind of way,
169
00:08:05,951 --> 00:08:08,584
you would just figure out
and solve the crime.
170
00:08:08,684 --> 00:08:11,617
Yeah, later when I'm doing
sit-ups or something,
171
00:08:11,717 --> 00:08:14,450
I'd think, "Wait a second.
Why wasn't the..."
172
00:08:14,551 --> 00:08:17,617
Why wasn't the gun in the other
hand or something?"
173
00:08:17,717 --> 00:08:19,584
No, I feel like
I'm FBI ma...
174
00:08:19,684 --> 00:08:22,150
At least, maybe I'm
FBI movie material.
175
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:25,984
As far as joining the FBI
is concerned,
176
00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:28,150
let's put it this way,
177
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:32,617
I failed a test to be
a member of a book club.
178
00:08:32,717 --> 00:08:34,217
Thanks for coming
so quickly.
179
00:08:34,317 --> 00:08:36,117
Not a problem, sir.
What's going on?
180
00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:39,617
I just was assaulted just now
by two youths,
181
00:08:39,717 --> 00:08:42,784
and, um, they knocked me
over my chair,
182
00:08:42,884 --> 00:08:44,851
and they stole my snow cone
183
00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:47,617
that I wasn't even
finished with.
184
00:08:47,717 --> 00:08:49,984
What kind of snow cone
are we talking about?
185
00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:52,784
It was the rainbow one with the
fourth of July colors.
186
00:08:52,884 --> 00:08:55,250
They're only seasonal, too,
this time of year.
187
00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:57,183
Yeah, you can't get them
all year.
188
00:08:57,284 --> 00:08:59,284
Finally you get one,
and this happens.
189
00:08:59,384 --> 00:09:01,018
You must've only eaten
the top
190
00:09:01,117 --> 00:09:03,083
because I see your lips
are not blue.
191
00:09:03,183 --> 00:09:05,484
Right. I didn't get to the blue
or the white.
192
00:09:05,584 --> 00:09:07,384
What is your name,
first of all?
193
00:09:07,484 --> 00:09:09,617
My name is Craig.
Hi, Craig. I'm Trudy.
194
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,551
Trudy, nice to meet you.
Craig's my favorite boy name.
195
00:09:12,651 --> 00:09:13,918
Really? That's nice.
196
00:09:14,018 --> 00:09:15,851
No one's ever said that
to me before.
197
00:09:15,951 --> 00:09:18,150
You have a kitty cat there.
Do you have cats?
198
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:19,817
I love cats.
I have a houseful.
199
00:09:19,918 --> 00:09:21,817
Do you love cats?
I've got seven cats.
200
00:09:21,918 --> 00:09:23,350
You have seven cats?!
201
00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:25,450
Yeah, they're all the hairless
kind, though,
202
00:09:25,551 --> 00:09:27,884
because I'm allergic to most
kind of dander.
203
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,684
Those are my favorite kind,
but I can't afford them.
204
00:09:30,784 --> 00:09:32,784
Well, I put most of my money
in that.
205
00:09:32,884 --> 00:09:35,150
I smell a snow-cone date
coming.
206
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,584
That's what I smell.
207
00:09:36,684 --> 00:09:38,984
I just got out of
a relationship.
208
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:42,784
Do you date people that you
have to come in contact with?
209
00:09:42,884 --> 00:09:44,551
Is that something you do?
210
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:48,984
You know, Trudy is off on
Thursday and Friday nights.
211
00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:50,284
Oh, really?
212
00:09:50,384 --> 00:09:52,417
Fyi, I don't know what
your schedule is.
213
00:09:52,517 --> 00:09:55,484
And she just got a VCR,
so...
214
00:09:55,584 --> 00:09:58,684
I did, actually.
I got a combo.
215
00:09:58,784 --> 00:10:01,751
I got a 15-inch combo
VCR/TV.
216
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:05,050
I just got the "saved by the
bell" tapes, the whole series,
217
00:10:05,150 --> 00:10:07,183
and I don't have a VCR
to watch it.
218
00:10:07,284 --> 00:10:09,317
Do you want to finish taking
this down,
219
00:10:09,417 --> 00:10:11,651
and then you can just slip him
your number?
220
00:10:11,751 --> 00:10:13,784
Oh, I don't have to give him
my number.
221
00:10:13,884 --> 00:10:14,951
He can call 911.
222
00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:16,684
I'll give you a call then.
223
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,117
Call 911, and when they say,
"what's your emergency?"
224
00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:20,517
Say, "is Trudy there?"
225
00:10:20,617 --> 00:10:22,284
Okay, and they'll patch me
through.
226
00:10:22,384 --> 00:10:24,584
And if I'm out on a call,
have them get me.
227
00:10:24,684 --> 00:10:26,784
'Cause I can always be
called off a call.
228
00:10:26,884 --> 00:10:28,751
Nothing really happens
in this town
229
00:10:28,851 --> 00:10:30,317
that I need to be there for.
230
00:10:37,851 --> 00:10:40,918
I will give you $50,
Dangle, per second
231
00:10:41,018 --> 00:10:44,817
that you could stick your head
under this blanket.
232
00:10:44,918 --> 00:10:45,951
Per second?
233
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:47,784
Uh, per minute.
$50 a minute.
234
00:10:47,884 --> 00:10:49,150
How about $1 a second?
235
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:51,217
I'll stick my head
under there.
236
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,918
You think I won't stick my head
under there?
237
00:10:54,018 --> 00:10:55,851
Go ahead.
Jones, you with me?
238
00:10:57,484 --> 00:11:00,018
I'm not going under here,
though.
239
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:02,551
I'll stick my head
by the side.
240
00:11:02,651 --> 00:11:03,751
I'll get it.
241
00:11:03,851 --> 00:11:06,918
All the way in, too.
All the way in.
242
00:11:07,018 --> 00:11:09,450
All the way.
Don't breathe.
243
00:11:09,551 --> 00:11:13,918
1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
244
00:11:17,651 --> 00:11:18,751
Eww!
245
00:11:18,851 --> 00:11:21,117
Look at that.
246
00:11:21,217 --> 00:11:25,517
Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
247
00:11:25,617 --> 00:11:28,384
Garcia, I'll bet you
a month of my salary
248
00:11:28,484 --> 00:11:31,717
that you can't get in there
for about a half-hour.
249
00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:33,884
A month's salary.
Easy money!
250
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,417
A month's salary.
You all heard it.
251
00:11:36,517 --> 00:11:38,450
Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
252
00:11:38,551 --> 00:11:41,884
Don't do it. Don't do it.
Don't do it. Don't do it.
253
00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:43,384
Garcia?
254
00:11:43,484 --> 00:11:46,317
Don't you call me crying in
the middle of the night...
255
00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:47,551
Go get 'em!
256
00:11:48,951 --> 00:11:50,018
Idiots.
257
00:11:50,117 --> 00:11:54,617
What are you officers
doing in here?
258
00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,350
Shut up, shut up.
259
00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:01,817
Is there someone
in that freezer?
260
00:12:01,918 --> 00:12:03,018
We were, uh...
261
00:12:03,117 --> 00:12:05,450
Open that freezer door
right now!
262
00:12:05,551 --> 00:12:07,284
I have a goddamn radio on!
263
00:12:07,384 --> 00:12:09,884
Do you know how dangerous
this is?!
264
00:12:09,984 --> 00:12:12,884
That's for dead people,
not living idiots.
265
00:12:12,984 --> 00:12:14,551
Let's move it out.
266
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,784
Why don't we secure the
perimeter, I guess, or the hall?
267
00:12:17,884 --> 00:12:19,551
Has this body been touched?
268
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,584
When a body comes down
to the morgue,
269
00:12:21,684 --> 00:12:24,018
it's completely covered by
a sheet except for its feet.
270
00:12:24,117 --> 00:12:26,384
I know. Isn't that weird?
It's weird. It's weird.
271
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:29,117
It looks like you people have
been playing with this body.
272
00:12:29,217 --> 00:12:30,551
No, no, no, no, no.
273
00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:31,751
I was in there.
274
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:33,417
Out! Come on.
275
00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:36,384
You know, let's just move it
out, please.
276
00:12:36,484 --> 00:12:37,984
Thank you, lieutenant.
277
00:12:38,083 --> 00:12:40,317
I can't deal with this kind
of incompetence.
278
00:12:40,417 --> 00:12:42,450
You guys want some coffee
or something?
279
00:12:42,551 --> 00:12:43,851
No, we're fine. Thank you.
280
00:12:43,951 --> 00:12:45,350
Sandwiches or something?
281
00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:47,384
We could use a closed door
and some quiet.
282
00:12:47,484 --> 00:12:48,517
Thank you.
283
00:12:48,617 --> 00:12:50,150
Check.
Check.
284
00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:53,317
You know, I thought about
joining the FBI
285
00:12:53,417 --> 00:12:54,884
for about 20 minutes
286
00:12:54,984 --> 00:12:58,317
after I saw, uh, that movie
with Jodie foster
287
00:12:58,417 --> 00:13:02,050
and the guy who was eating
people in his basement.
288
00:13:02,150 --> 00:13:04,384
But I was really, really stoned.
289
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:08,083
And honestly, I also thought
for about 20 minutes
290
00:13:08,183 --> 00:13:10,884
about making a dress
out of people.
291
00:13:10,984 --> 00:13:12,117
Hello, there.
292
00:13:12,217 --> 00:13:13,417
How you doing?
293
00:13:13,517 --> 00:13:14,517
Good.
294
00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:15,951
Right on time, too.
295
00:13:16,050 --> 00:13:17,350
You got the money?
296
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:19,350
Yeah, I got a...
I got a...
297
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,551
How much?
298
00:13:20,651 --> 00:13:23,450
$400, burning a hole
in my pocket.
299
00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:25,784
All right.
Are you ready?
300
00:13:25,884 --> 00:13:29,417
What do I get for the...
For the $400 there?
301
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,117
A lot.
Oh, yeah?
302
00:13:31,217 --> 00:13:34,517
Um, why don't you get ready?
Take off your glasses.
303
00:13:34,617 --> 00:13:36,284
Wow, you're very handsome.
304
00:13:36,384 --> 00:13:39,817
Thank you very much.
My mom always said so, I guess.
305
00:13:39,918 --> 00:13:41,183
Now, what do we do?
306
00:13:41,284 --> 00:13:42,651
Just close your eyes.
307
00:13:42,751 --> 00:13:45,117
Phew! All right.
308
00:13:57,717 --> 00:14:01,183
Had a fantasy about being
a FBI when I was a little boy.
309
00:14:01,284 --> 00:14:04,117
I thought that'd be real cool
to solve crimes,
310
00:14:04,217 --> 00:14:06,751
go to write chalk outlines
on the ground
311
00:14:06,851 --> 00:14:10,217
and stick needles into people
and poke them with things.
312
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,751
But as I got older, I felt,
"you know what?
313
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,217
"I want to work with people
on the streets.
314
00:14:15,317 --> 00:14:17,484
I want to be in touch with my
gente."
315
00:14:17,584 --> 00:14:19,450
That's "my people" in Spanish.
316
00:14:19,551 --> 00:14:22,584
Uh, I don't want to be far above
in a lab coat or a windbreaker
317
00:14:22,684 --> 00:14:24,117
or a special hat.
318
00:14:24,217 --> 00:14:26,384
Good afternoon, class.
My name is officer Garcia.
319
00:14:26,484 --> 00:14:28,384
This is my partner,
officer Jones.
320
00:14:28,484 --> 00:14:30,851
We're here from the Reno County
sheriff's department
321
00:14:30,951 --> 00:14:32,684
and the community outreach
program
322
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,617
to talk to you about a subject
today
323
00:14:34,717 --> 00:14:36,717
that most folks aren't
comfortable with.
324
00:14:36,817 --> 00:14:38,918
Now, as citizens
of this great community,
325
00:14:39,018 --> 00:14:41,884
we'd all like to believe that
kids don't carry guns to school.
326
00:14:41,984 --> 00:14:44,250
We'd all like to wish that that
weren't true.
327
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,817
But we know, and you know,
328
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,751
that kids do have guns at
school, okay?
329
00:14:47,851 --> 00:14:49,651
You guys have a whole lot
of them.
330
00:14:49,751 --> 00:14:52,117
As officers of the law,
we want to let you know
331
00:14:52,217 --> 00:14:54,450
there's not a damn thing
we can do about it.
332
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:55,918
We really can't do anything
333
00:14:56,018 --> 00:14:57,884
about you guys having guns
in school.
334
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,851
But what we can do
is show you
335
00:14:59,951 --> 00:15:02,384
how to fire these weapons
safely and correctly, okay?
336
00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:04,751
Let's say you have one of these
in your hand, okay?
337
00:15:04,851 --> 00:15:06,250
Which you should never have.
338
00:15:06,350 --> 00:15:07,918
Okay, what we want
to teach you today
339
00:15:08,018 --> 00:15:09,784
is one word
that's gonna help you out
340
00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:11,751
should you find yourself
in a situation,
341
00:15:11,851 --> 00:15:13,450
and you can't talk
something out,
342
00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,217
and you need
one of these firearms.
343
00:15:15,317 --> 00:15:17,784
And that one word is safe.
S-a-f-e.
344
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,817
Steady, okay?
345
00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:24,551
Aim, fire, boom,
everybody's okay.
346
00:15:24,651 --> 00:15:26,817
If we can teach you to fire
that firearm correctly,
347
00:15:26,918 --> 00:15:28,651
you can take your man down,
right? Boom!
348
00:15:28,751 --> 00:15:30,417
And we don't have
the scatter effect.
349
00:15:30,517 --> 00:15:32,250
There's not
the watermelon seeds.
350
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,150
It's not a big picnic
of people on the ground.
351
00:15:34,174 --> 00:15:35,984
Some of you ladies,
you're pretty,
352
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:38,484
and I'm sure you're gonna get
dates to the prom.
353
00:15:38,584 --> 00:15:40,684
You might find a little bit
more security
354
00:15:40,784 --> 00:15:42,817
if you had one of these
little numbers.
355
00:15:42,918 --> 00:15:44,684
Okay, that's a 9mm,
all right?
356
00:15:44,784 --> 00:15:47,117
It's nice, light, fits in your
dress, your purse.
357
00:15:47,217 --> 00:15:49,384
Some of you men that are on
the wrestling team
358
00:15:49,484 --> 00:15:51,484
might want to skip over
the lady-type guns
359
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,517
and go right to your .357
or your .44.
360
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:59,350
I think the FBI guys here seem
like they're all over it.
361
00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:01,384
They seem like
a really good team.
362
00:16:01,484 --> 00:16:04,918
They speak...
in paragraph form.
363
00:16:05,018 --> 00:16:06,250
Yeah.
364
00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:09,450
Like, you never hear "uh"
coming out of their mouth.
365
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,350
Or "what" or "he was, like."
366
00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:14,984
They never say, "the bad guy
was, like, coming in the door."
367
00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:16,617
We say that all the time.
368
00:16:16,717 --> 00:16:19,350
It's like they go
to some kind of damn...
369
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:21,584
Vocabulary school
or like gram...
370
00:16:21,684 --> 00:16:24,183
Grammar, grammar.
371
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,284
Talk.
372
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,217
Talk.
373
00:16:26,317 --> 00:16:28,217
It's very impressive.
374
00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:32,183
- Hi, mom.
- How are you?
375
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:35,250
Dad, I know.
376
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:37,884
I really don't have anything new
to report
377
00:16:37,984 --> 00:16:40,484
except, oh, only the greatest
thing ever.
378
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:44,984
I... Met a boy...
379
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:48,717
And his name is Craig
with a "C."
380
00:16:48,817 --> 00:16:53,784
I mean, I know you've told me
before, um, you know,
381
00:16:53,884 --> 00:16:56,717
chances are if a guy shows
interest in me,
382
00:16:56,817 --> 00:16:59,984
it's probably some ploy to get
something from me
383
00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:03,951
or there's a good chance I could
get molested or raped or...
384
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:06,984
You know, end up pregnant
or dead, you know.
385
00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:12,617
Basically, what I'm asking is
for your permission...
386
00:17:12,717 --> 00:17:16,984
To have our wedding here
on your plot.
387
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:20,083
And I asked Marcus, who runs the
place, about having you dug up,
388
00:17:20,183 --> 00:17:22,018
and it would cost a
fortune,
389
00:17:22,117 --> 00:17:24,217
and I don't think I can afford
it right now
390
00:17:24,317 --> 00:17:26,183
on the salary that they're
giving me.
391
00:17:26,284 --> 00:17:28,250
And also, it might be kind of
creepy.
392
00:17:37,384 --> 00:17:38,884
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
393
00:17:38,984 --> 00:17:41,384
I just talked to the lady,
and they want one of us
394
00:17:41,484 --> 00:17:44,050
to introduce them
for the press conference.
395
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,250
All right!
Dangle, Dangle, Dangle?
396
00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:47,551
I want to say...
397
00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:49,651
I'm the most presentational
here.
398
00:17:49,751 --> 00:17:51,417
I got
the show-business career.
399
00:17:51,517 --> 00:17:53,651
You don't want to look
like you're racist.
400
00:17:53,751 --> 00:17:57,150
Pick somebody black so you can
show the color on the force.
401
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,484
It's gonna be...
402
00:17:58,584 --> 00:18:00,851
Who remembers their names,
first off?
403
00:18:00,951 --> 00:18:02,284
Officer James Garcia.
404
00:18:02,384 --> 00:18:03,817
No, the names of the guys.
405
00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:06,284
Special agent Starling
is one of them.
406
00:18:06,384 --> 00:18:08,918
You're thinking of
"Silence of the lambs."
407
00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:10,517
Oh.
408
00:18:10,617 --> 00:18:13,050
Uh... Oh!
409
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:15,484
Good afternoon.
Sorry, good afternoon.
410
00:18:15,584 --> 00:18:17,617
My name is
lieutenant Jim Dangle
411
00:18:17,717 --> 00:18:19,817
of the Reno sheriff's
department.
412
00:18:19,918 --> 00:18:21,350
And from here,
413
00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:25,617
I would like to turn things over
to special agents...
414
00:18:25,717 --> 00:18:27,450
Uh, Cowan and Richards.
415
00:18:27,551 --> 00:18:30,817
So let's give a big,
Reno, Nevada, welcome
416
00:18:30,918 --> 00:18:34,417
for the FBI serial-killing
investigation team.
417
00:18:34,517 --> 00:18:35,817
Whoo!
418
00:18:35,918 --> 00:18:37,217
Whoo!
419
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,984
Good afternoon.
420
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:42,784
I'm special agent Cowan from the
federal bureau of investigation,
421
00:18:42,884 --> 00:18:46,817
and I would like to let you know
that last night at 11:53 P.M.,
422
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:50,484
we arrested the serial killer
known as "the junkyard dog"
423
00:18:50,584 --> 00:18:52,384
just outside of Reno, Nevada.
424
00:18:52,484 --> 00:18:53,751
Whoo!
425
00:18:53,851 --> 00:18:56,651
As of yet, we have no further
information
426
00:18:56,751 --> 00:18:58,584
that we are able to release.
427
00:18:58,684 --> 00:19:01,018
We can tell you
that nine victims
428
00:19:01,117 --> 00:19:03,851
have been attributed
to the junkyard dog
429
00:19:03,951 --> 00:19:06,984
with two pending investigations
in Las Vegas.
430
00:19:07,083 --> 00:19:09,417
I will be bringing back to you
more information
431
00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:10,651
as it becomes available.
432
00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:11,751
Thank you very much.
433
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,050
Whoo!
Whoo!
434
00:19:14,884 --> 00:19:16,050
Yeah!
435
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:18,284
All right,
way to go FBI, huh?
436
00:19:18,384 --> 00:19:20,018
Wow, everybody's leaving.
437
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,651
Oh, yeah.
438
00:19:21,751 --> 00:19:23,150
Aw, man!
439
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,884
All right.
440
00:19:24,984 --> 00:19:26,617
Do you have
anymore questions?
441
00:19:26,717 --> 00:19:28,517
They don't have anymore
questions.
442
00:19:28,617 --> 00:19:31,150
They wanted somebody to go get
them some coffee.
443
00:19:34,984 --> 00:19:37,317
Yeah, they're making
their toast.
444
00:19:37,417 --> 00:19:38,817
We should do that.
445
00:19:38,918 --> 00:19:41,951
Well, hey, folks,
to securing the perimeter.
446
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:43,584
And buying the coffee.
447
00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:45,250
And buying the coffee.
448
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,183
All kinds of... other stuff.
449
00:19:47,284 --> 00:19:48,617
We did a good job.
450
00:19:48,717 --> 00:19:51,651
Hey, we should send them
something, right?
451
00:19:51,751 --> 00:19:54,250
That's classy.
That's a good idea.
452
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:56,651
Like a...
Like a muffin basket.
453
00:19:56,751 --> 00:19:58,884
Some shots.
No, some drinks.
454
00:19:58,984 --> 00:20:01,951
Shots or something...
That would be good.
455
00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:05,150
Jello shots?
Are always good.
456
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,851
"To the FBI"...
457
00:20:06,951 --> 00:20:10,417
Special agent Cowan
and Richards.
458
00:20:10,517 --> 00:20:13,751
Cowan, Richards,
and the rest.
459
00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:15,617
And et al. Et al.
460
00:20:15,717 --> 00:20:17,684
And crew? And crew?
461
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:18,984
Oh, hey...
462
00:20:20,317 --> 00:20:22,018
Hi.
Hi. Hi. Hi.
463
00:20:22,117 --> 00:20:23,117
Good evening.
464
00:20:23,217 --> 00:20:24,751
Congratulations to all of you.
465
00:20:24,851 --> 00:20:27,250
I wanted to thank you for your
superlative work.
466
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,250
Your assistance was invaluable.
467
00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:32,083
And to thank you, we've gotten
you this bottle of champagne.
468
00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:35,884
So enjoy and have
a wonderful night.
469
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:36,984
Thank you.
470
00:20:37,050 --> 00:20:38,450
That was so classy.
471
00:20:38,551 --> 00:20:39,784
Bye, you guys.
472
00:20:39,884 --> 00:20:41,117
Take care.
473
00:20:41,217 --> 00:20:43,684
See you next time
somebody gets murdered.
474
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,684
Yeah!
475
00:20:44,784 --> 00:20:45,884
Drive good!
476
00:20:45,984 --> 00:20:48,018
Did you see that?
That was classy!
477
00:20:48,117 --> 00:20:50,384
I didn't even know
they had champagne.
478
00:20:50,484 --> 00:20:52,284
We are such douche bags.
479
00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:53,417
Is it cold?
480
00:21:03,217 --> 00:21:06,851
Uh, ich bin ein berliner.
481
00:21:06,951 --> 00:21:08,784
Hitler! Hitler! Hitler!
482
00:21:08,884 --> 00:21:11,617
It's Kennedy.
That's not Hitler.
483
00:21:11,717 --> 00:21:16,484
Uh, ask not what you're doing in
your country, uh, but, uh...
484
00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:20,350
Yeah, yeah.
Also Kennedy.
485
00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:22,450
I got something.
I got something.
486
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,250
She's throwing up.
487
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:26,817
Are you gonna throw up?
488
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,018
I was gonna burp.
488
00:21:29,305 --> 00:21:35,469
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