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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 2 00:00:13,384 --> 00:00:16,551 Yeah, 11, Charlie, uh, 51, uh, coming in Reno. 3 00:00:16,651 --> 00:00:19,851 We're, uh, chasing suspect. Firing at vehicle. 4 00:00:19,951 --> 00:00:22,417 Jones returning fire and missing! 5 00:00:22,517 --> 00:00:24,684 Whoa-ho-ho! Whoa-ho! Damn it! 6 00:00:24,784 --> 00:00:26,884 Hey, here, you want my clip? 7 00:00:26,984 --> 00:00:29,250 Hold the wheel. Hold the wheel. 8 00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:30,350 Whoo! 9 00:00:32,018 --> 00:00:34,350 Whoa, there you are! 10 00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,317 Whoa! Look out! 11 00:00:42,551 --> 00:00:45,651 Oh-ho! Ohh-h-h! 12 00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:53,284 Aah! Aah! Aah! 13 00:00:53,384 --> 00:00:55,417 Hey, dog. Yeah. 14 00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:03,717 Ho, ho! Ho! 15 00:01:20,584 --> 00:01:22,918 Oh, wow. There he is, huh? 16 00:01:23,018 --> 00:01:27,317 Okay, gang, I just got off the phone with Carson city, 17 00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:30,317 and it's true the FBI is coming in 18 00:01:30,417 --> 00:01:33,450 to take a look at the investigation. 19 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:36,551 So please promise me the most important thing... 20 00:01:36,651 --> 00:01:39,851 Let's not act like dicks in front of the FBI, okay? 21 00:01:39,951 --> 00:01:42,784 We're gonna be law-enforcement professionals. 22 00:01:42,884 --> 00:01:44,617 Gimme a "yes, sir." Come on. 23 00:01:44,717 --> 00:01:46,417 Yes, sir. Yes, siryes, siryes, sir. 24 00:01:46,517 --> 00:01:48,117 Thank you. Thank you. 25 00:01:48,217 --> 00:01:49,751 It kind of looks like he's got a boner. 26 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,384 Let's look and see. 27 00:01:52,484 --> 00:01:53,884 No, no, no, no, no! 28 00:01:53,984 --> 00:01:56,284 Don't touch anything until the FBI's here. 29 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,918 Speak of the devil. Let's get into ranks. 30 00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:01,117 Form into ranks. Form into ranks. 31 00:02:01,217 --> 00:02:03,183 What do you mean? Like, a line? 32 00:02:03,284 --> 00:02:05,784 Well, like ranks. No, no, I don't mean... 33 00:02:05,884 --> 00:02:08,083 I just mean... Like a professional. 34 00:02:08,183 --> 00:02:10,851 Don't do a conga line. Do like a... 35 00:02:10,951 --> 00:02:13,717 Just stand in a... That looks stupid. 36 00:02:13,817 --> 00:02:16,350 We look stupid. Okay, here we go. 37 00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:19,484 All right, good work, team. Good evening. 38 00:02:19,584 --> 00:02:20,884 No need to salute. 39 00:02:20,984 --> 00:02:23,417 I'm agent Cowan. This is agent Richards. 40 00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:25,350 Hi, I'm lieutenant Dangle and this is... 41 00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:26,951 Should I go through...? No need. 42 00:02:27,050 --> 00:02:30,617 Um... So... 43 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,217 There's the guy, I guess. 44 00:02:33,317 --> 00:02:35,517 That's why we're here. 45 00:02:35,617 --> 00:02:36,817 Yeah. Duh. 46 00:02:36,918 --> 00:02:38,984 So, what we're gonna need you guys to do 47 00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:41,817 is get on the other side of that tape and secure the perimeter. 48 00:02:41,918 --> 00:02:44,250 Go stand on the other side of the tape? 49 00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,050 Okay, I got it. I'm sorry. 50 00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:48,884 Yeah, so we'll just go over there and do, uh... 51 00:02:48,984 --> 00:02:51,384 Thank you for leaping over the evidence. 52 00:02:51,484 --> 00:02:53,517 I want to get some pictures here. 53 00:02:53,617 --> 00:02:55,183 I want to lift some prints. 54 00:02:55,284 --> 00:02:57,584 I want you to check the treads on the sneaks. 55 00:02:57,684 --> 00:02:59,751 I want to hear about it right away. 56 00:02:59,851 --> 00:03:03,217 The thing is, I just don't see what's so great about the FBI. 57 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,851 I know everybody here gets a, you know... 58 00:03:05,951 --> 00:03:07,984 A boner every time they come by. 59 00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:10,317 Um, what's so great about it? 60 00:03:10,417 --> 00:03:14,551 They wear suits and handle the fluids of dead people, okay. 61 00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,517 Um, that is not sexy to me. 62 00:03:16,617 --> 00:03:20,450 Uh, I like being in the streets with the common people. 63 00:03:20,551 --> 00:03:22,183 I like driving the car. 64 00:03:22,284 --> 00:03:25,717 And I'm not going through that background check. 65 00:03:25,817 --> 00:03:27,018 Forget about it. 66 00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:32,150 Well, uh... 67 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:35,284 Perimeter's, uh... 68 00:03:35,384 --> 00:03:37,484 Thank you. We appreciate that. 69 00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:38,918 Secure, I guess. 70 00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:41,717 We've a very important job for you guys. 71 00:03:41,817 --> 00:03:46,183 We're gonna need two large latte's, one 2%, one nonfat. 72 00:03:46,284 --> 00:03:49,951 We're gonna need a small, easy mocha-mocha, 73 00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,350 very little whip. 74 00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:53,817 We're gonna need three café au laits... 75 00:03:53,918 --> 00:03:57,384 One with vanilla, one with cinnamon, one with chocolate. 76 00:03:57,484 --> 00:03:58,851 Two ice coffees... 77 00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:01,551 One dark, one with heavy sugar, light cream. 78 00:04:01,651 --> 00:04:03,551 Wait, that's, like, 20 coffees. 79 00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:06,183 Oh, no, that's the kind that goes in the... 80 00:04:06,284 --> 00:04:08,050 Exactly. I got it. I got it. 81 00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:10,083 Wonderful. Thank you very much. 82 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,717 Good work. Right, uh... 83 00:04:11,817 --> 00:04:14,117 Is that more coffee than... No, no, no. 84 00:04:14,217 --> 00:04:17,617 She said it weird because it is the right amount of coffees, 85 00:04:17,717 --> 00:04:20,317 but she said what's in them in a weird order. 86 00:04:20,417 --> 00:04:22,384 Did you remember what they were? 87 00:04:22,484 --> 00:04:24,417 I wasn't even paying attention. 88 00:04:24,517 --> 00:04:26,617 Nobody even makes that around here. 89 00:04:26,717 --> 00:04:29,250 Obviously, it was blah, blah, blah to me. 90 00:04:31,951 --> 00:04:33,484 Having the FBI in town 91 00:04:33,584 --> 00:04:36,050 is a little bit like being chaperoned, you know? 92 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,484 And I don't feel like we need a chaperone. 93 00:04:38,584 --> 00:04:41,617 I feel like we're perfectly capable at enforcing the law. 94 00:04:41,717 --> 00:04:43,150 We have a mission today. 95 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,217 We have this kind of junky, old microwave. 96 00:04:45,317 --> 00:04:46,684 It does not work very well, 97 00:04:46,784 --> 00:04:48,584 and it smells like spaghetti sauce. 98 00:04:48,684 --> 00:04:50,484 We've had it for about five years. 99 00:04:50,584 --> 00:04:52,584 It cooks things about halfway through. 100 00:04:52,684 --> 00:04:55,050 And the county will not give us a new microwave 101 00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:57,050 until this one is officially broken. 102 00:04:57,150 --> 00:05:00,150 So, without further ado. 103 00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,117 Honey, this is the last time 104 00:05:02,217 --> 00:05:04,450 you will ever burn a bag of my popcorn. 105 00:05:04,551 --> 00:05:06,551 Okay, let's break the microwave. 106 00:05:06,651 --> 00:05:09,417 This magic pop is gonna get this thing to break. 107 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,417 You're never supposed to put metal in a microwave, 108 00:05:12,517 --> 00:05:14,350 so this should do it. Let's see. 109 00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:17,083 Get away, get away, get away, get away! 110 00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:22,384 No, it burned a little bit. 111 00:05:22,484 --> 00:05:24,784 Throw in some marshmallows. 112 00:05:31,384 --> 00:05:32,817 Pretty good. 113 00:05:32,918 --> 00:05:36,551 And if it doesn't work, at least it'll be kind of yummy. 114 00:05:40,984 --> 00:05:42,651 I got a grenade. 115 00:05:42,751 --> 00:05:44,684 You have a grenade? 116 00:05:44,784 --> 00:05:46,284 That'll do it. 117 00:05:46,384 --> 00:05:47,651 Absolutely. 118 00:05:47,751 --> 00:05:50,284 It's worth a shot, right? 119 00:05:57,927 --> 00:05:58,927 Contact. 120 00:05:58,951 --> 00:06:00,517 Fire in the hole! 121 00:06:02,651 --> 00:06:03,951 Oh-ho! 122 00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:05,217 Whoo! 123 00:06:05,317 --> 00:06:06,384 Wow! 124 00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:07,984 Microwave! Yes! 125 00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:11,050 A new microwave is on the way! 126 00:06:11,150 --> 00:06:12,817 Is that tear gas? 127 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,617 You put tear gas in there? 128 00:06:21,217 --> 00:06:22,450 Halt! Freeze! 129 00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:24,717 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Where you going, sir? 130 00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:27,584 Oh, I'm glad you all showed up. Thank goodness, man. 131 00:06:27,684 --> 00:06:29,150 Uh, somebody came in here. 132 00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,350 I think something awful happened in here. 133 00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:32,851 Somebody robbed this place. 134 00:06:32,951 --> 00:06:34,884 What are you doing with money, sir? 135 00:06:34,984 --> 00:06:37,018 Why do you have money in your pocket? 136 00:06:37,117 --> 00:06:38,951 W-what's that? It's money, sir. 137 00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,817 This... this... this money... This my money right here. 138 00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:44,217 You got anything else we should know about? 139 00:06:44,317 --> 00:06:45,918 Me? Yeah, what do you got? 140 00:06:46,018 --> 00:06:47,984 Yeah, I have a gun. Yeah, you do. 141 00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:50,651 Why do you have a weapon, sir? Is that yours? 142 00:06:50,751 --> 00:06:53,484 No, that's... that's not my gun. That's not mine. 143 00:06:53,584 --> 00:06:54,751 That's not your gun? 144 00:06:54,851 --> 00:06:56,183 No, I got it. I had it. 145 00:06:56,284 --> 00:06:58,384 I'm gonna be honest with you all. 146 00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:00,484 I had it, but that's not my gun. 147 00:07:00,584 --> 00:07:02,384 No, I-I-I didn't rob this at all. 148 00:07:02,484 --> 00:07:04,450 The ones that did it, they... they was like, 149 00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:06,717 "aw, hey, you want to rob this store with me?" 150 00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:08,684 I was like, "no, man. I can't do that." 151 00:07:08,784 --> 00:07:11,050 The police, they don't like that kind of stuff." 152 00:07:11,150 --> 00:07:13,150 They was like, "the police." 153 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,050 They said, "the police"? 154 00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:17,150 They said, "officer Garcia." 155 00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:19,050 They said, "officer"...? 156 00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:21,050 Were they colored? They was black. 157 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,350 It was five of them... Five black dudes. 158 00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:25,951 You probably could still catch them over there. 159 00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:28,484 There they go, and they're stupid. 160 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:33,784 Good thing you all showed up. I'm... I'm gonna go home. 161 00:07:33,884 --> 00:07:36,384 No, you're not. You ain't going home. 162 00:07:36,484 --> 00:07:39,083 You know I got to bring you in, right? 163 00:07:39,183 --> 00:07:41,551 I don't know that. 164 00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:53,884 If I were in the FBI, I'd be in a lot of situations 165 00:07:53,984 --> 00:07:56,951 where the chief or whoever is like, 166 00:07:57,050 --> 00:08:01,117 "you rolled the dice, and you lost this time, Jim. 167 00:08:01,217 --> 00:08:04,384 You're off the case." And then, uh... 168 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,851 In some kind of way, 169 00:08:05,951 --> 00:08:08,584 you would just figure out and solve the crime. 170 00:08:08,684 --> 00:08:11,617 Yeah, later when I'm doing sit-ups or something, 171 00:08:11,717 --> 00:08:14,450 I'd think, "Wait a second. Why wasn't the..." 172 00:08:14,551 --> 00:08:17,617 Why wasn't the gun in the other hand or something?" 173 00:08:17,717 --> 00:08:19,584 No, I feel like I'm FBI ma... 174 00:08:19,684 --> 00:08:22,150 At least, maybe I'm FBI movie material. 175 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:25,984 As far as joining the FBI is concerned, 176 00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:28,150 let's put it this way, 177 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:32,617 I failed a test to be a member of a book club. 178 00:08:32,717 --> 00:08:34,217 Thanks for coming so quickly. 179 00:08:34,317 --> 00:08:36,117 Not a problem, sir. What's going on? 180 00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:39,617 I just was assaulted just now by two youths, 181 00:08:39,717 --> 00:08:42,784 and, um, they knocked me over my chair, 182 00:08:42,884 --> 00:08:44,851 and they stole my snow cone 183 00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:47,617 that I wasn't even finished with. 184 00:08:47,717 --> 00:08:49,984 What kind of snow cone are we talking about? 185 00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:52,784 It was the rainbow one with the fourth of July colors. 186 00:08:52,884 --> 00:08:55,250 They're only seasonal, too, this time of year. 187 00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:57,183 Yeah, you can't get them all year. 188 00:08:57,284 --> 00:08:59,284 Finally you get one, and this happens. 189 00:08:59,384 --> 00:09:01,018 You must've only eaten the top 190 00:09:01,117 --> 00:09:03,083 because I see your lips are not blue. 191 00:09:03,183 --> 00:09:05,484 Right. I didn't get to the blue or the white. 192 00:09:05,584 --> 00:09:07,384 What is your name, first of all? 193 00:09:07,484 --> 00:09:09,617 My name is Craig. Hi, Craig. I'm Trudy. 194 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,551 Trudy, nice to meet you. Craig's my favorite boy name. 195 00:09:12,651 --> 00:09:13,918 Really? That's nice. 196 00:09:14,018 --> 00:09:15,851 No one's ever said that to me before. 197 00:09:15,951 --> 00:09:18,150 You have a kitty cat there. Do you have cats? 198 00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:19,817 I love cats. I have a houseful. 199 00:09:19,918 --> 00:09:21,817 Do you love cats? I've got seven cats. 200 00:09:21,918 --> 00:09:23,350 You have seven cats?! 201 00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:25,450 Yeah, they're all the hairless kind, though, 202 00:09:25,551 --> 00:09:27,884 because I'm allergic to most kind of dander. 203 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,684 Those are my favorite kind, but I can't afford them. 204 00:09:30,784 --> 00:09:32,784 Well, I put most of my money in that. 205 00:09:32,884 --> 00:09:35,150 I smell a snow-cone date coming. 206 00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,584 That's what I smell. 207 00:09:36,684 --> 00:09:38,984 I just got out of a relationship. 208 00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:42,784 Do you date people that you have to come in contact with? 209 00:09:42,884 --> 00:09:44,551 Is that something you do? 210 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:48,984 You know, Trudy is off on Thursday and Friday nights. 211 00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:50,284 Oh, really? 212 00:09:50,384 --> 00:09:52,417 Fyi, I don't know what your schedule is. 213 00:09:52,517 --> 00:09:55,484 And she just got a VCR, so... 214 00:09:55,584 --> 00:09:58,684 I did, actually. I got a combo. 215 00:09:58,784 --> 00:10:01,751 I got a 15-inch combo VCR/TV. 216 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:05,050 I just got the "saved by the bell" tapes, the whole series, 217 00:10:05,150 --> 00:10:07,183 and I don't have a VCR to watch it. 218 00:10:07,284 --> 00:10:09,317 Do you want to finish taking this down, 219 00:10:09,417 --> 00:10:11,651 and then you can just slip him your number? 220 00:10:11,751 --> 00:10:13,784 Oh, I don't have to give him my number. 221 00:10:13,884 --> 00:10:14,951 He can call 911. 222 00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:16,684 I'll give you a call then. 223 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,117 Call 911, and when they say, "what's your emergency?" 224 00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:20,517 Say, "is Trudy there?" 225 00:10:20,617 --> 00:10:22,284 Okay, and they'll patch me through. 226 00:10:22,384 --> 00:10:24,584 And if I'm out on a call, have them get me. 227 00:10:24,684 --> 00:10:26,784 'Cause I can always be called off a call. 228 00:10:26,884 --> 00:10:28,751 Nothing really happens in this town 229 00:10:28,851 --> 00:10:30,317 that I need to be there for. 230 00:10:37,851 --> 00:10:40,918 I will give you $50, Dangle, per second 231 00:10:41,018 --> 00:10:44,817 that you could stick your head under this blanket. 232 00:10:44,918 --> 00:10:45,951 Per second? 233 00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:47,784 Uh, per minute. $50 a minute. 234 00:10:47,884 --> 00:10:49,150 How about $1 a second? 235 00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:51,217 I'll stick my head under there. 236 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,918 You think I won't stick my head under there? 237 00:10:54,018 --> 00:10:55,851 Go ahead. Jones, you with me? 238 00:10:57,484 --> 00:11:00,018 I'm not going under here, though. 239 00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:02,551 I'll stick my head by the side. 240 00:11:02,651 --> 00:11:03,751 I'll get it. 241 00:11:03,851 --> 00:11:06,918 All the way in, too. All the way in. 242 00:11:07,018 --> 00:11:09,450 All the way. Don't breathe. 243 00:11:09,551 --> 00:11:13,918 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 244 00:11:17,651 --> 00:11:18,751 Eww! 245 00:11:18,851 --> 00:11:21,117 Look at that. 246 00:11:21,217 --> 00:11:25,517 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 247 00:11:25,617 --> 00:11:28,384 Garcia, I'll bet you a month of my salary 248 00:11:28,484 --> 00:11:31,717 that you can't get in there for about a half-hour. 249 00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:33,884 A month's salary. Easy money! 250 00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,417 A month's salary. You all heard it. 251 00:11:36,517 --> 00:11:38,450 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 252 00:11:38,551 --> 00:11:41,884 Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. 253 00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:43,384 Garcia? 254 00:11:43,484 --> 00:11:46,317 Don't you call me crying in the middle of the night... 255 00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:47,551 Go get 'em! 256 00:11:48,951 --> 00:11:50,018 Idiots. 257 00:11:50,117 --> 00:11:54,617 What are you officers doing in here? 258 00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,350 Shut up, shut up. 259 00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:01,817 Is there someone in that freezer? 260 00:12:01,918 --> 00:12:03,018 We were, uh... 261 00:12:03,117 --> 00:12:05,450 Open that freezer door right now! 262 00:12:05,551 --> 00:12:07,284 I have a goddamn radio on! 263 00:12:07,384 --> 00:12:09,884 Do you know how dangerous this is?! 264 00:12:09,984 --> 00:12:12,884 That's for dead people, not living idiots. 265 00:12:12,984 --> 00:12:14,551 Let's move it out. 266 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,784 Why don't we secure the perimeter, I guess, or the hall? 267 00:12:17,884 --> 00:12:19,551 Has this body been touched? 268 00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,584 When a body comes down to the morgue, 269 00:12:21,684 --> 00:12:24,018 it's completely covered by a sheet except for its feet. 270 00:12:24,117 --> 00:12:26,384 I know. Isn't that weird? It's weird. It's weird. 271 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:29,117 It looks like you people have been playing with this body. 272 00:12:29,217 --> 00:12:30,551 No, no, no, no, no. 273 00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:31,751 I was in there. 274 00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:33,417 Out! Come on. 275 00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:36,384 You know, let's just move it out, please. 276 00:12:36,484 --> 00:12:37,984 Thank you, lieutenant. 277 00:12:38,083 --> 00:12:40,317 I can't deal with this kind of incompetence. 278 00:12:40,417 --> 00:12:42,450 You guys want some coffee or something? 279 00:12:42,551 --> 00:12:43,851 No, we're fine. Thank you. 280 00:12:43,951 --> 00:12:45,350 Sandwiches or something? 281 00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:47,384 We could use a closed door and some quiet. 282 00:12:47,484 --> 00:12:48,517 Thank you. 283 00:12:48,617 --> 00:12:50,150 Check. Check. 284 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:53,317 You know, I thought about joining the FBI 285 00:12:53,417 --> 00:12:54,884 for about 20 minutes 286 00:12:54,984 --> 00:12:58,317 after I saw, uh, that movie with Jodie foster 287 00:12:58,417 --> 00:13:02,050 and the guy who was eating people in his basement. 288 00:13:02,150 --> 00:13:04,384 But I was really, really stoned. 289 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:08,083 And honestly, I also thought for about 20 minutes 290 00:13:08,183 --> 00:13:10,884 about making a dress out of people. 291 00:13:10,984 --> 00:13:12,117 Hello, there. 292 00:13:12,217 --> 00:13:13,417 How you doing? 293 00:13:13,517 --> 00:13:14,517 Good. 294 00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:15,951 Right on time, too. 295 00:13:16,050 --> 00:13:17,350 You got the money? 296 00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:19,350 Yeah, I got a... I got a... 297 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,551 How much? 298 00:13:20,651 --> 00:13:23,450 $400, burning a hole in my pocket. 299 00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:25,784 All right. Are you ready? 300 00:13:25,884 --> 00:13:29,417 What do I get for the... For the $400 there? 301 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,117 A lot. Oh, yeah? 302 00:13:31,217 --> 00:13:34,517 Um, why don't you get ready? Take off your glasses. 303 00:13:34,617 --> 00:13:36,284 Wow, you're very handsome. 304 00:13:36,384 --> 00:13:39,817 Thank you very much. My mom always said so, I guess. 305 00:13:39,918 --> 00:13:41,183 Now, what do we do? 306 00:13:41,284 --> 00:13:42,651 Just close your eyes. 307 00:13:42,751 --> 00:13:45,117 Phew! All right. 308 00:13:57,717 --> 00:14:01,183 Had a fantasy about being a FBI when I was a little boy. 309 00:14:01,284 --> 00:14:04,117 I thought that'd be real cool to solve crimes, 310 00:14:04,217 --> 00:14:06,751 go to write chalk outlines on the ground 311 00:14:06,851 --> 00:14:10,217 and stick needles into people and poke them with things. 312 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,751 But as I got older, I felt, "you know what? 313 00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,217 "I want to work with people on the streets. 314 00:14:15,317 --> 00:14:17,484 I want to be in touch with my gente." 315 00:14:17,584 --> 00:14:19,450 That's "my people" in Spanish. 316 00:14:19,551 --> 00:14:22,584 Uh, I don't want to be far above in a lab coat or a windbreaker 317 00:14:22,684 --> 00:14:24,117 or a special hat. 318 00:14:24,217 --> 00:14:26,384 Good afternoon, class. My name is officer Garcia. 319 00:14:26,484 --> 00:14:28,384 This is my partner, officer Jones. 320 00:14:28,484 --> 00:14:30,851 We're here from the Reno County sheriff's department 321 00:14:30,951 --> 00:14:32,684 and the community outreach program 322 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,617 to talk to you about a subject today 323 00:14:34,717 --> 00:14:36,717 that most folks aren't comfortable with. 324 00:14:36,817 --> 00:14:38,918 Now, as citizens of this great community, 325 00:14:39,018 --> 00:14:41,884 we'd all like to believe that kids don't carry guns to school. 326 00:14:41,984 --> 00:14:44,250 We'd all like to wish that that weren't true. 327 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,817 But we know, and you know, 328 00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,751 that kids do have guns at school, okay? 329 00:14:47,851 --> 00:14:49,651 You guys have a whole lot of them. 330 00:14:49,751 --> 00:14:52,117 As officers of the law, we want to let you know 331 00:14:52,217 --> 00:14:54,450 there's not a damn thing we can do about it. 332 00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:55,918 We really can't do anything 333 00:14:56,018 --> 00:14:57,884 about you guys having guns in school. 334 00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,851 But what we can do is show you 335 00:14:59,951 --> 00:15:02,384 how to fire these weapons safely and correctly, okay? 336 00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:04,751 Let's say you have one of these in your hand, okay? 337 00:15:04,851 --> 00:15:06,250 Which you should never have. 338 00:15:06,350 --> 00:15:07,918 Okay, what we want to teach you today 339 00:15:08,018 --> 00:15:09,784 is one word that's gonna help you out 340 00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:11,751 should you find yourself in a situation, 341 00:15:11,851 --> 00:15:13,450 and you can't talk something out, 342 00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,217 and you need one of these firearms. 343 00:15:15,317 --> 00:15:17,784 And that one word is safe. S-a-f-e. 344 00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,817 Steady, okay? 345 00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:24,551 Aim, fire, boom, everybody's okay. 346 00:15:24,651 --> 00:15:26,817 If we can teach you to fire that firearm correctly, 347 00:15:26,918 --> 00:15:28,651 you can take your man down, right? Boom! 348 00:15:28,751 --> 00:15:30,417 And we don't have the scatter effect. 349 00:15:30,517 --> 00:15:32,250 There's not the watermelon seeds. 350 00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,150 It's not a big picnic of people on the ground. 351 00:15:34,174 --> 00:15:35,984 Some of you ladies, you're pretty, 352 00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:38,484 and I'm sure you're gonna get dates to the prom. 353 00:15:38,584 --> 00:15:40,684 You might find a little bit more security 354 00:15:40,784 --> 00:15:42,817 if you had one of these little numbers. 355 00:15:42,918 --> 00:15:44,684 Okay, that's a 9mm, all right? 356 00:15:44,784 --> 00:15:47,117 It's nice, light, fits in your dress, your purse. 357 00:15:47,217 --> 00:15:49,384 Some of you men that are on the wrestling team 358 00:15:49,484 --> 00:15:51,484 might want to skip over the lady-type guns 359 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,517 and go right to your .357 or your .44. 360 00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:59,350 I think the FBI guys here seem like they're all over it. 361 00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:01,384 They seem like a really good team. 362 00:16:01,484 --> 00:16:04,918 They speak... in paragraph form. 363 00:16:05,018 --> 00:16:06,250 Yeah. 364 00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:09,450 Like, you never hear "uh" coming out of their mouth. 365 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,350 Or "what" or "he was, like." 366 00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:14,984 They never say, "the bad guy was, like, coming in the door." 367 00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:16,617 We say that all the time. 368 00:16:16,717 --> 00:16:19,350 It's like they go to some kind of damn... 369 00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:21,584 Vocabulary school or like gram... 370 00:16:21,684 --> 00:16:24,183 Grammar, grammar. 371 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,284 Talk. 372 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,217 Talk. 373 00:16:26,317 --> 00:16:28,217 It's very impressive. 374 00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:32,183 - Hi, mom. - How are you? 375 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:35,250 Dad, I know. 376 00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:37,884 I really don't have anything new to report 377 00:16:37,984 --> 00:16:40,484 except, oh, only the greatest thing ever. 378 00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:44,984 I... Met a boy... 379 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:48,717 And his name is Craig with a "C." 380 00:16:48,817 --> 00:16:53,784 I mean, I know you've told me before, um, you know, 381 00:16:53,884 --> 00:16:56,717 chances are if a guy shows interest in me, 382 00:16:56,817 --> 00:16:59,984 it's probably some ploy to get something from me 383 00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:03,951 or there's a good chance I could get molested or raped or... 384 00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:06,984 You know, end up pregnant or dead, you know. 385 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:12,617 Basically, what I'm asking is for your permission... 386 00:17:12,717 --> 00:17:16,984 To have our wedding here on your plot. 387 00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:20,083 And I asked Marcus, who runs the place, about having you dug up, 388 00:17:20,183 --> 00:17:22,018 and it would cost a fortune, 389 00:17:22,117 --> 00:17:24,217 and I don't think I can afford it right now 390 00:17:24,317 --> 00:17:26,183 on the salary that they're giving me. 391 00:17:26,284 --> 00:17:28,250 And also, it might be kind of creepy. 392 00:17:37,384 --> 00:17:38,884 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. 393 00:17:38,984 --> 00:17:41,384 I just talked to the lady, and they want one of us 394 00:17:41,484 --> 00:17:44,050 to introduce them for the press conference. 395 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,250 All right! Dangle, Dangle, Dangle? 396 00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:47,551 I want to say... 397 00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:49,651 I'm the most presentational here. 398 00:17:49,751 --> 00:17:51,417 I got the show-business career. 399 00:17:51,517 --> 00:17:53,651 You don't want to look like you're racist. 400 00:17:53,751 --> 00:17:57,150 Pick somebody black so you can show the color on the force. 401 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,484 It's gonna be... 402 00:17:58,584 --> 00:18:00,851 Who remembers their names, first off? 403 00:18:00,951 --> 00:18:02,284 Officer James Garcia. 404 00:18:02,384 --> 00:18:03,817 No, the names of the guys. 405 00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:06,284 Special agent Starling is one of them. 406 00:18:06,384 --> 00:18:08,918 You're thinking of "Silence of the lambs." 407 00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:10,517 Oh. 408 00:18:10,617 --> 00:18:13,050 Uh... Oh! 409 00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:15,484 Good afternoon. Sorry, good afternoon. 410 00:18:15,584 --> 00:18:17,617 My name is lieutenant Jim Dangle 411 00:18:17,717 --> 00:18:19,817 of the Reno sheriff's department. 412 00:18:19,918 --> 00:18:21,350 And from here, 413 00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:25,617 I would like to turn things over to special agents... 414 00:18:25,717 --> 00:18:27,450 Uh, Cowan and Richards. 415 00:18:27,551 --> 00:18:30,817 So let's give a big, Reno, Nevada, welcome 416 00:18:30,918 --> 00:18:34,417 for the FBI serial-killing investigation team. 417 00:18:34,517 --> 00:18:35,817 Whoo! 418 00:18:35,918 --> 00:18:37,217 Whoo! 419 00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,984 Good afternoon. 420 00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:42,784 I'm special agent Cowan from the federal bureau of investigation, 421 00:18:42,884 --> 00:18:46,817 and I would like to let you know that last night at 11:53 P.M., 422 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:50,484 we arrested the serial killer known as "the junkyard dog" 423 00:18:50,584 --> 00:18:52,384 just outside of Reno, Nevada. 424 00:18:52,484 --> 00:18:53,751 Whoo! 425 00:18:53,851 --> 00:18:56,651 As of yet, we have no further information 426 00:18:56,751 --> 00:18:58,584 that we are able to release. 427 00:18:58,684 --> 00:19:01,018 We can tell you that nine victims 428 00:19:01,117 --> 00:19:03,851 have been attributed to the junkyard dog 429 00:19:03,951 --> 00:19:06,984 with two pending investigations in Las Vegas. 430 00:19:07,083 --> 00:19:09,417 I will be bringing back to you more information 431 00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:10,651 as it becomes available. 432 00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:11,751 Thank you very much. 433 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,050 Whoo! Whoo! 434 00:19:14,884 --> 00:19:16,050 Yeah! 435 00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:18,284 All right, way to go FBI, huh? 436 00:19:18,384 --> 00:19:20,018 Wow, everybody's leaving. 437 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,651 Oh, yeah. 438 00:19:21,751 --> 00:19:23,150 Aw, man! 439 00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,884 All right. 440 00:19:24,984 --> 00:19:26,617 Do you have anymore questions? 441 00:19:26,717 --> 00:19:28,517 They don't have anymore questions. 442 00:19:28,617 --> 00:19:31,150 They wanted somebody to go get them some coffee. 443 00:19:34,984 --> 00:19:37,317 Yeah, they're making their toast. 444 00:19:37,417 --> 00:19:38,817 We should do that. 445 00:19:38,918 --> 00:19:41,951 Well, hey, folks, to securing the perimeter. 446 00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:43,584 And buying the coffee. 447 00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:45,250 And buying the coffee. 448 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,183 All kinds of... other stuff. 449 00:19:47,284 --> 00:19:48,617 We did a good job. 450 00:19:48,717 --> 00:19:51,651 Hey, we should send them something, right? 451 00:19:51,751 --> 00:19:54,250 That's classy. That's a good idea. 452 00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:56,651 Like a... Like a muffin basket. 453 00:19:56,751 --> 00:19:58,884 Some shots. No, some drinks. 454 00:19:58,984 --> 00:20:01,951 Shots or something... That would be good. 455 00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:05,150 Jello shots? Are always good. 456 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,851 "To the FBI"... 457 00:20:06,951 --> 00:20:10,417 Special agent Cowan and Richards. 458 00:20:10,517 --> 00:20:13,751 Cowan, Richards, and the rest. 459 00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:15,617 And et al. Et al. 460 00:20:15,717 --> 00:20:17,684 And crew? And crew? 461 00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:18,984 Oh, hey... 462 00:20:20,317 --> 00:20:22,018 Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. 463 00:20:22,117 --> 00:20:23,117 Good evening. 464 00:20:23,217 --> 00:20:24,751 Congratulations to all of you. 465 00:20:24,851 --> 00:20:27,250 I wanted to thank you for your superlative work. 466 00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,250 Your assistance was invaluable. 467 00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:32,083 And to thank you, we've gotten you this bottle of champagne. 468 00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:35,884 So enjoy and have a wonderful night. 469 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:36,984 Thank you. 470 00:20:37,050 --> 00:20:38,450 That was so classy. 471 00:20:38,551 --> 00:20:39,784 Bye, you guys. 472 00:20:39,884 --> 00:20:41,117 Take care. 473 00:20:41,217 --> 00:20:43,684 See you next time somebody gets murdered. 474 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,684 Yeah! 475 00:20:44,784 --> 00:20:45,884 Drive good! 476 00:20:45,984 --> 00:20:48,018 Did you see that? That was classy! 477 00:20:48,117 --> 00:20:50,384 I didn't even know they had champagne. 478 00:20:50,484 --> 00:20:52,284 We are such douche bags. 479 00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:53,417 Is it cold? 480 00:21:03,217 --> 00:21:06,851 Uh, ich bin ein berliner. 481 00:21:06,951 --> 00:21:08,784 Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! 482 00:21:08,884 --> 00:21:11,617 It's Kennedy. That's not Hitler. 483 00:21:11,717 --> 00:21:16,484 Uh, ask not what you're doing in your country, uh, but, uh... 484 00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:20,350 Yeah, yeah. Also Kennedy. 485 00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:22,450 I got something. I got something. 486 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,250 She's throwing up. 487 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:26,817 Are you gonna throw up? 488 00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,018 I was gonna burp. 488 00:21:29,305 --> 00:21:35,469 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org35969

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