All language subtitles for The Stupids (1996)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:07,382 I've got a feeling something special's... 2 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,012 going to happen today. 3 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,629 Things to do today: 4 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,996 make checkmark on paper... 5 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,797 cross item out... 6 00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:25,395 no time for that, I'm afraid. 7 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:27,065 And finally, say... 8 00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:30,098 "that seems pretty senseless, but, whatever." 9 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,980 That seems pretty senseless, but... 10 00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:36,345 whatever. 11 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:41,043 That's odd. 12 00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:45,990 Joan, honey... 13 00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:47,686 did you put these trashcans on the curb? 14 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:52,130 Oh, I left the trash out overnight. 15 00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:57,028 Oh, dear. 16 00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:00,528 Oh, no. Someone's stolen our garbage again. 17 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,910 Oh, I just feel so awful about this. 18 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,610 Darling, please, it's not your fault. 19 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,619 It's the world we live in today. 20 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:16,622 There are people out there for whom nothing is sacred... 21 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:18,453 people who will steal a man's garbage... 22 00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,959 week after week after week. 23 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,461 We can get through it, honey. 24 00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:23,621 We'll borrow some garbage... 25 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:24,891 till we're back on our feet. 26 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,455 Don't you see, Joan? 27 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,467 That's exactly what they're counting on. 28 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,469 Whoever keeps doing this knows that people like us... 29 00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:31,800 will just sit back and take it. 30 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:34,398 Darn it. I'm not gonna take it anymore. 31 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,499 Oh, Stanley, please, don't get involved. 32 00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:39,477 I already am involved, Joan. 33 00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:41,309 Someone has stolen from my family... 34 00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,679 and I will not rest until I bring them to justice. 35 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:12,735 Huh? 36 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,239 What in the world? 37 00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:01,348 They're getting away. 38 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,287 I've got to follow them, but how? 39 00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:07,158 2 wheels. 40 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,753 4 wheels. 41 00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:14,555 8 wheels. 42 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,261 All right, crooks... 43 00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:18,736 now you've got Stanley Stupid on your trail. 44 00:07:35,988 --> 00:07:37,114 Morning, Petunia. 45 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:38,521 Morning, Buster. 46 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,185 Hey, sis, have you seen dad? 47 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:41,488 Isn't he sleeping? 48 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,961 No. And he's not outside, either. 49 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:45,964 I got up early to walk my fish... 50 00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:47,431 and he was already gone. 51 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,298 Do you think maybe... 52 00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:50,563 he's been kidnapped? 53 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,969 Oh, my God! We must go to the police station. 54 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:58,067 Just as soon as we've left a note for mom. 55 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,987 Take this down. 56 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,936 We have gone to the police. 57 00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:28,202 Police... 58 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,141 Daddy's been kidnapped. 59 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,906 Kidnapped... 60 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:36,108 Don't worry. We'll be back soon. 61 00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:38,378 Signed, your children. 62 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:41,682 Your children... 63 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,552 Let's move. 64 00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:53,324 Sta n ley? 65 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:56,464 Buster? 66 00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:58,094 Petunia? 67 00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:04,567 Stanley? Buster? Petunia? 68 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,601 Where is everybody? 69 00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:16,747 It's impossible. That can't be true. 70 00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,593 Hello? Hello. 71 00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:24,061 Yes. Is this Mrs. Stupid? 72 00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,564 I'm calling from the police station, Mrs. Stupid. 73 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:28,931 We, uh, have your children here, ma'am. 74 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:33,603 Oh, my God! It's true! 75 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,869 The police have kidnapped my children! 76 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,226 You two just sit tight. 77 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,994 We'll have you home in a minute. 78 00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:44,042 Bye! 79 00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,566 Bye! 80 00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:49,707 Mum? 81 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,377 Mum? 82 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,213 Mum? 83 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,060 Mum? 84 00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:03,721 It's no use. 85 00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:05,628 Mom's gone, too. 86 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,633 And we seem to be caught in a deadly game... 87 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,134 of cat and mouse. 88 00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:25,445 He left without even ringing the bell. 89 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:29,181 Apparently, he only wanted us to find this. 90 00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,688 What's the Jade Palace? 91 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,990 And what does this have to do with dad and mom? 92 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,996 I don't know, Petunia, but I think it's time... 93 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,520 we went there and found out. 94 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,841 Friday, June 4. 95 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,503 Today, my world turned upside-down. 96 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,173 First, I discovered my husband missing. 97 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:56,841 Then, I learned my children... 98 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,850 had been kidnapped by the police. 99 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:02,149 Now, the fate of my family rests in my hands. 100 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:08,459 Note to self: 101 00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:10,291 I must buy a hand-held tape recorder. 102 00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:11,796 Then I will no longer be speaking... 103 00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:14,231 into the garage door opener. 104 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:25,940 Some people can be so inconsiderate. 105 00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,651 Just the two of you? 106 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,661 Why, yes. 107 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:46,222 So they have been expecting us. 108 00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,525 And what can I get for you? 109 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:23,034 Oh, I think you've got a pretty good idea... 110 00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:25,366 of what we're looking for. 111 00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:27,201 May I recommend the cashew chicken? 112 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:28,866 You'll get your cash when we get... 113 00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,205 our parents back. 114 00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:31,937 And don't call us chicken. 115 00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:02,598 Oh, no. The truck. 116 00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:05,337 It's gone. I've lost it. 117 00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:07,368 Now it could be anywhere. 118 00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:11,305 Finding it now will be like finding a needle in a haystack. 119 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,996 It's always the last place you think of looking. 120 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,978 I'll never get the hang of these things. 121 00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:53,185 Still no sign of mom or dad. 122 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,522 I don't get it, Buster. 123 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,858 Don't worry, Petunia. Whoever brought us here... 124 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,693 will contact us when the time is right. 125 00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:10,307 Buster, it's a message. 126 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:15,377 "Time flies when you're having fun." 127 00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,905 "Time flies when you're having fun"? 128 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,443 Wait a minute! Isn't the "Daily Times"... 129 00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,284 published just a few blocks away from here? 130 00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:24,949 Yes! 131 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:27,959 At the corner of Fun Street and Fly. 132 00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,585 No, it's Maple and Fifth. 133 00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,960 Close enough. Let's move. 134 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,970 OK, camouflage lesson number 1: 135 00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,669 to look like a bush, you have to think like a bush. 136 00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:50,975 OK, here I am just being a bush. 137 00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,143 Just growing and hanging out. 138 00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:54,982 Yes, this is the life for me. 139 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,820 Sure is a lot of soil around here. 140 00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:00,484 A lot of sunshine, too. 141 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,926 As a bush, I notice these things. 142 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,429 Wait a minute. What's this? 143 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,599 I have arms. 144 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,602 I am a bush with arms. 145 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,263 And legs. 146 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:15,296 I am the first bush in history with legs. 147 00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:18,833 I can walk! 148 00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:28,109 Oh, gaze, ye unbelievers, upon this miracle! 149 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,122 This walking bush... Half man, half plant. 150 00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:33,954 He dwells in 2 worlds but is the master of both! 151 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:38,396 Oh, man-bush, you are nature's greatest wonder! 152 00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:52,203 Poor fools thought I was a bush. 153 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:57,004 I'll lock up the bikes, you keep a lookout. 154 00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:05,456 Let's move. 155 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,494 My children! 156 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,955 Police. 157 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:43,962 If they recognize me, they're sure to kidnap me, too. 158 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,987 What to do? 159 00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,974 My gosh. 160 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,572 There must thousands of people's garbage here. 161 00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:04,582 Tens of thousands, even. 162 00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:06,413 Why, the sheer organization necessary... 163 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,910 to pull off a heist like this... 164 00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:12,515 I've uncovered the crime of the century. 165 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,627 Good day, officers. 166 00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:34,969 Yes. 167 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:10,946 Is that everyone? 168 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,076 Affirmative, sir. 169 00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:14,449 It's showtime. 170 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:25,722 Welcome, gentlemen. 171 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,097 I apologize for the unpleasantness... 172 00:19:30,135 --> 00:19:31,432 of our surroundings. 173 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:34,268 The setting was chosen for its seclusion... 174 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:35,671 not its beauty. 175 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,303 The weapons you are about to see... 176 00:19:39,311 --> 00:19:40,778 are American made... 177 00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:45,306 and, I humbly submit, the world's best. 178 00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:56,461 International law... 179 00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,122 has long kept you from acquiring them. 180 00:19:58,163 --> 00:19:59,289 But as of now... 181 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:02,232 I hope to help you overcome that. 182 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,996 Lieutenant... 183 00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:07,805 First piece of equipment we'd like to demonstrate... 184 00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:11,138 is the Dragon anti-tank missile. 185 00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:14,304 Whether you want to foment revolution... 186 00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:15,973 or suppress it... 187 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:19,506 this hardware will help you get it done. 188 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,315 Strange, indeed, are the workings of fate. 189 00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,354 How could I have known that today I would wander... 190 00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:27,018 into the jaws of some kind of super crime? 191 00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:29,986 Pardon me. 192 00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:33,657 Chances are, my life is already in danger. 193 00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:36,497 Yet, I feel strangely, intensely alive. 194 00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:37,661 Every nerve is alert... 195 00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:39,330 every sense working overtime. 196 00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:41,362 Nothing escapes my eye. 197 00:20:43,508 --> 00:20:45,373 Excuse me. 198 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,677 One journey has come to an end. 199 00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:51,842 But I've got a feeling... 200 00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:53,874 the real adventure has just begun. 201 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,991 Buster! Petunia! 202 00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:13,065 It's some kind of ape woman! 203 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,802 Oh, no. It's me. Your mother. 204 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:19,276 Your mother's some kind of ape woman? 205 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:22,678 No, no. Children, it's a disguise. 206 00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,575 They're wigs. 207 00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:32,816 Next up is an updated version... 208 00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:35,691 of the .45 caliber personal sidearm. 209 00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:44,165 I think you'll appreciate... 210 00:21:44,202 --> 00:21:45,829 the increase in stopping power. 211 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:17,461 Here we have the traditional M-16 assault weapon... 212 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:20,130 with extra new capabilities. 213 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:22,299 Not only will it fire an 84 millimeter... 214 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,400 Excuse me. Got a pen I can borrow? 215 00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,315 Thank you very much. 216 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,318 So, what's going on around here? 217 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,649 Some kind of company picnic? 218 00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:37,687 Why, that's a very festive name for it. 219 00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,983 Notice all that garbage out there? 220 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,323 It's all stolen. 221 00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:45,328 There's something fishy going on. 222 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,161 Frankly, our lives may already be in danger. 223 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:49,992 I hear you, pal. 224 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,900 At first, I was pretty tongue-tied myself. 225 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,843 Oh, Jerry, help. I need a new headline... 226 00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,242 for the Entertainment section. 227 00:23:00,278 --> 00:23:04,237 "HBO has given the order for a pair of original... 228 00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:06,773 "outer-space themed shows for the new season." 229 00:23:06,818 --> 00:23:09,446 Let's see. What about... 230 00:23:13,425 --> 00:23:16,792 2 alien pilots picked up by network. 231 00:23:16,828 --> 00:23:19,626 Perfect. I'm sending it. 232 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,126 Hey, you guys... 233 00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:24,488 give me a hand in Metro, will you? 234 00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:26,303 We were supposed to be in print 5 minutes ago. 235 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,838 Sis, over here. I found a computer. 236 00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:40,815 What've you got in mind, Petunia? 237 00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:42,149 A little ride... 238 00:23:42,187 --> 00:23:44,246 on the information superhighway, mom. 239 00:23:44,289 --> 00:23:46,154 In this age of microtechnology... 240 00:23:46,191 --> 00:23:47,658 the computer's our gateway... 241 00:23:47,692 --> 00:23:49,159 to information. 242 00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:50,491 Now, all we've got to do... 243 00:23:50,529 --> 00:23:52,690 is figure out the password. 244 00:24:00,705 --> 00:24:02,002 How about nose? 245 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,634 It's worth a try. 246 00:24:06,812 --> 00:24:08,439 All right, computer... 247 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,277 now tell us everything we need to know... 248 00:24:10,315 --> 00:24:16,811 about Stanley Stupid. 249 00:24:18,490 --> 00:24:20,287 Relax, soldier. In a week from now... 250 00:24:20,325 --> 00:24:22,293 we'll both be wealthy men. 251 00:24:22,327 --> 00:24:23,954 I suppose so, sir. 252 00:24:23,995 --> 00:24:25,622 But I can't help wondering... 253 00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:27,655 what our country would think of what we're doing. 254 00:24:29,501 --> 00:24:32,299 This year our country... 255 00:24:32,337 --> 00:24:34,464 refused my promotion, Lieutenant. 256 00:24:34,506 --> 00:24:36,997 They've only themselves to blame now. 257 00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:43,674 You really think we can pull this off? 258 00:24:46,685 --> 00:24:48,983 I gave my life to the military. 259 00:24:49,020 --> 00:24:50,647 Nothing's going to stop me... 260 00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:53,055 from getting something back. 261 00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:56,821 Sir, I think we have... 262 00:24:56,862 --> 00:24:58,454 a potential situation on our hands. 263 00:24:58,497 --> 00:24:59,930 What is it, soldier? 264 00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:01,432 An individual, sir. 265 00:25:01,466 --> 00:25:02,933 He appears to have infiltrated the proceedings. 266 00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:04,265 As far as we can tell... 267 00:25:04,302 --> 00:25:05,860 he's not affiliated with any of the buyers. 268 00:25:05,904 --> 00:25:07,098 It's the C.I.A. 269 00:25:07,138 --> 00:25:08,799 We're probably already surrounded. 270 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,280 Negative, sir. We scouted the area... 271 00:25:10,308 --> 00:25:11,832 and he appears to be alone. 272 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:13,208 Alone? 273 00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:16,271 Hmm. Just what kind of cowboy agent... 274 00:25:16,314 --> 00:25:17,645 is this guy? 275 00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:32,955 No one is to disturb him... 276 00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:34,465 without my order. 277 00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:36,296 The buyers must not know... 278 00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:37,699 anything is amiss. 279 00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:39,761 Understood, sir. 280 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:46,142 If I know my business... 281 00:25:46,177 --> 00:25:49,112 the operative will contact us. 282 00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:02,249 To walk into a situation like this... 283 00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:05,263 without support... 284 00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:07,265 this guy must be fearless. 285 00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:09,699 Yes. 286 00:26:17,309 --> 00:26:19,800 And very, very smart. 287 00:26:23,982 --> 00:26:26,109 Business, weather, sports. 288 00:26:26,151 --> 00:26:28,119 What is it trying to tell us? 289 00:26:28,153 --> 00:26:30,121 It's computer jargon, mom. 290 00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:32,783 It's like a whole different language. 291 00:26:32,824 --> 00:26:34,451 Now, hand me a photo of dad... 292 00:26:34,492 --> 00:26:35,982 and let's see what we can find out. 293 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:43,392 It's processing the data. 294 00:26:47,906 --> 00:26:48,906 What does it say? 295 00:26:48,907 --> 00:26:51,899 Fatal error, drive 296 00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:53,308 Oh, my God! 297 00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:54,345 What does it mean? 298 00:26:54,346 --> 00:26:55,346 I don't know! 299 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:56,837 We've got to warn your father! 300 00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:05,681 Watch out! 301 00:27:05,724 --> 00:27:07,089 Let's go! Out! 302 00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:08,125 Aah! 303 00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:10,591 We'd better get out of here. 304 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:11,789 Let's go! 305 00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:29,107 Our bikes are gone! 306 00:27:32,517 --> 00:27:34,508 And the cops have surrounded my car! 307 00:27:34,552 --> 00:27:36,645 Run for your lives! 308 00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:16,080 Cool runnings, my brother. 309 00:29:16,121 --> 00:29:17,884 Later, man. 310 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:19,480 Bye. Thank you. 311 00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:38,732 Hi. Stanley Stupid. 312 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,610 Oh. Honored to make your acquaintance... 313 00:29:41,646 --> 00:29:43,273 Mr. Stupid. 314 00:29:43,314 --> 00:29:45,942 You must be a highly skilled investigator... 315 00:29:45,984 --> 00:29:47,747 to have discovered all of this. 316 00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:49,276 Well, actually, I knew I was on the trail... 317 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,320 of some pretty crafty thieves, but I had no idea... 318 00:29:51,322 --> 00:29:53,847 there was going to be this much garbage out here. 319 00:29:53,892 --> 00:29:58,420 You are clearly an agent of enormous talents. 320 00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:00,624 Shame the government will never reward you... 321 00:30:00,665 --> 00:30:02,633 as richly as you deserve. 322 00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:04,999 No. The government doesn't even know I'm here. 323 00:30:05,036 --> 00:30:07,971 Aha. And that's why you've approached me, isn't it? 324 00:30:08,006 --> 00:30:10,304 To come and get your share? 325 00:30:10,341 --> 00:30:11,865 One way or another? 326 00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:13,639 Actually, mister... 327 00:30:13,678 --> 00:30:15,771 I've approached you because I need a car. 328 00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:17,145 Oh. Lieutenant... 329 00:30:17,182 --> 00:30:19,480 give our friend the keys to my car. 330 00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:23,511 A gift to the gifted. 331 00:30:23,555 --> 00:30:26,786 Well, thank you very much. That's incredibly generous! 332 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:28,190 Thanks a lot! 333 00:30:31,262 --> 00:30:34,561 And to think I just wanted a ride back to town. 334 00:30:36,935 --> 00:30:38,698 Thanks, everybody. I'll see ya! 335 00:30:47,345 --> 00:30:49,336 Talk about nerves of steel. 336 00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:52,008 Completely surrounded, and he didn't even blink. 337 00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:54,018 We bought him off for now, sir. 338 00:30:54,052 --> 00:30:56,384 But what's to stop him from turning us in, anyway? 339 00:30:56,421 --> 00:30:57,683 You are, soldier. 340 00:30:58,756 --> 00:31:00,036 Without disturbing our clients... 341 00:31:00,058 --> 00:31:02,117 follow, then terminate the target... 342 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,718 with extreme prejudice. 343 00:31:03,761 --> 00:31:04,989 Yes, sir. 344 00:31:09,334 --> 00:31:10,961 Meaning? 345 00:31:11,002 --> 00:31:12,299 Kill him. 346 00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:13,668 Right. 347 00:31:18,843 --> 00:31:21,107 Oh. Boy. 348 00:31:21,145 --> 00:31:22,635 You never realized... 349 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,477 how many policeman there are... 350 00:31:24,515 --> 00:31:26,847 until the day they turn against you. 351 00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,479 This is the biggest emergency of our lives. 352 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,579 And we can't even call 911. 353 00:31:31,623 --> 00:31:34,319 A crisis like this calls for even higher authority. 354 00:31:34,359 --> 00:31:37,419 Mom, dial 1011. 355 00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:40,488 I'm afraid that's not good enough, children. 356 00:31:40,531 --> 00:31:42,965 Your father's life is on the line. 357 00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:47,867 I'm calling 75,496-11. 358 00:31:56,881 --> 00:31:58,109 Yeah? 359 00:31:58,149 --> 00:32:00,344 Hello. My name is Joan Stupid. 360 00:32:00,385 --> 00:32:01,283 I'm a housewife... 361 00:32:01,319 --> 00:32:02,877 and I desperately need your help. 362 00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:03,945 Yeah. Let me guess, lady. 363 00:32:03,988 --> 00:32:05,285 You've had a hectic day running around... 364 00:32:05,323 --> 00:32:06,449 trying to take care of the kids... 365 00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:07,617 and now you're panicked... 366 00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:08,785 because your husband's due home. 367 00:32:08,826 --> 00:32:10,657 That's right. 368 00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:12,663 And you haven't had time to cook dinner, right? 369 00:32:12,697 --> 00:32:15,063 That's right, too. 370 00:32:16,601 --> 00:32:18,125 Yeah. I hear it every day of the week. 371 00:32:18,169 --> 00:32:19,636 What you need is our family special. 372 00:32:19,671 --> 00:32:20,831 What's your address? 373 00:32:20,872 --> 00:32:22,601 55 Maple street. 374 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,130 Uh-huh. 375 00:32:24,175 --> 00:32:25,642 And does your family like cole slaw? 376 00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:27,770 Yes. 377 00:32:27,812 --> 00:32:29,143 That's all the information I need. 378 00:32:29,180 --> 00:32:30,477 You can relax, dear. We'll have you... 379 00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:32,107 taken care of in less than an hour. 380 00:32:32,150 --> 00:32:34,983 Oh, bless you! 381 00:32:35,019 --> 00:32:36,816 No need to worry, kids. 382 00:32:36,854 --> 00:32:39,152 The most sophisticated emergency response team... 383 00:32:39,190 --> 00:32:41,090 in the world is working with us now. 384 00:32:42,327 --> 00:32:43,487 Interestingly enough... 385 00:32:43,528 --> 00:32:46,088 their strategy involves cole slaw. 386 00:32:49,367 --> 00:32:50,425 Hello. 387 00:32:52,503 --> 00:32:53,765 Hi, honey. It's me. 388 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,295 Oh, Stanley! 389 00:32:56,341 --> 00:32:57,638 Darling, are you all right? 390 00:32:57,675 --> 00:32:59,336 I'm fine, but you won't believe... 391 00:32:59,377 --> 00:33:00,605 the things I've uncovered. 392 00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:02,772 Stanley, listen to me closely. 393 00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:06,375 You must beware of the drive 394 00:33:06,417 --> 00:33:08,647 What's the drive bee? 395 00:33:08,686 --> 00:33:10,779 We don't know... 396 00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:13,290 but any error you make with it could be fatal. 397 00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:14,621 Just as I suspected. 398 00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:16,593 My life may already be in jeopardy. 399 00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:32,639 What are you saying, Stanley? 400 00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:34,577 There must be some kind of interference. 401 00:33:34,612 --> 00:33:36,011 Hold on. I'll turn down the radio. 402 00:33:41,352 --> 00:33:42,683 Oops. 403 00:33:46,257 --> 00:33:47,349 Aah! 404 00:33:47,392 --> 00:33:49,986 Ooh'. Hot'. Whoa'.! 405 00:33:53,631 --> 00:33:54,825 Hot hot hot hot hot hot. 406 00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:56,595 Oh-Oh! Unh! 407 00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,397 Ohh, he“ Whoa'.! 408 00:34:06,611 --> 00:34:07,600 Is there something about dad... 409 00:34:07,645 --> 00:34:09,613 that you're not telling us? 410 00:34:09,647 --> 00:34:11,774 Something about his past... 411 00:34:11,816 --> 00:34:13,841 that would help explain what's going on? 412 00:34:17,488 --> 00:34:19,956 Children, I suppose you're old enough 413 00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:21,458 to know the truth. 414 00:34:21,492 --> 00:34:23,960 And the truth is... 415 00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:28,261 your father once worked inside the system. 416 00:34:28,299 --> 00:34:29,357 You mean... 417 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,129 That's right, Petunia. 418 00:34:31,169 --> 00:34:33,797 Stanley Stupid was a courier... 419 00:34:33,838 --> 00:34:35,328 for the U.S. government. 420 00:34:37,175 --> 00:34:39,405 At first it seemed like the perfect job. 421 00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:42,976 Every day brought new... 422 00:34:43,014 --> 00:34:44,811 and fascinating challenges. 423 00:34:44,849 --> 00:34:46,339 Oh! Great! 424 00:34:49,220 --> 00:34:50,687 There you go. 425 00:34:56,027 --> 00:34:57,688 537. 426 00:35:01,966 --> 00:35:03,456 537. 427 00:35:07,638 --> 00:35:09,333 Whoa'.! 428 00:35:47,178 --> 00:35:51,842 Then one day, your father discovered something. 429 00:35:53,684 --> 00:35:54,844 Thank you. 430 00:36:10,902 --> 00:36:12,301 That's odd. 431 00:36:15,072 --> 00:36:16,664 Come in. 432 00:36:24,882 --> 00:36:26,679 What is it now, Stanley? 433 00:36:26,717 --> 00:36:28,275 Something very strange, sir. 434 00:36:28,319 --> 00:36:29,445 It seems like... 435 00:36:29,487 --> 00:36:30,613 an incredible amount of letters... 436 00:36:30,655 --> 00:36:31,655 are being delivered... 437 00:36:31,656 --> 00:36:33,817 to somebody named Sender. 438 00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:35,621 Who is this Sender? 439 00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:36,660 And what is he doing... 440 00:36:36,661 --> 00:36:38,629 with other people's mail? 441 00:36:38,663 --> 00:36:40,290 I believe that this calls 442 00:36:40,331 --> 00:36:43,562 for a full-scale investigation. 443 00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,967 The next day, he was fired. 444 00:36:48,005 --> 00:36:51,031 They never told him why. 445 00:36:51,075 --> 00:36:53,134 But, of course! 446 00:36:53,177 --> 00:36:54,872 He knew too much. 447 00:36:54,912 --> 00:36:57,142 And my instinct tells me... 448 00:36:57,181 --> 00:37:00,810 we haven't seen the last of Mr. Sender. 449 00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:11,553 Is the target neutralized? 450 00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:14,759 I'm afraid not, sir. It seems the enemy... 451 00:37:14,799 --> 00:37:15,925 repelled our assault team... 452 00:37:15,967 --> 00:37:17,594 with extreme defensive aggression... 453 00:37:17,635 --> 00:37:21,537 in a "blowing up their car" manner, sir. 454 00:37:21,572 --> 00:37:25,770 So, he has some combat skills to back up his bravado. 455 00:37:25,810 --> 00:37:28,301 Who do we have from special ops? 456 00:37:28,346 --> 00:37:30,712 McClelland trained with the S.O.F., sir. 457 00:37:30,748 --> 00:37:32,113 Give him the assignment. 458 00:37:32,149 --> 00:37:34,913 Let's see how our friend handles a veteran assassin. 459 00:38:03,014 --> 00:38:04,413 Ready? 460 00:38:04,448 --> 00:38:06,575 Ready. 461 00:38:06,617 --> 00:38:09,586 It's high time I got myself another tattoo. 462 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:13,249 Just make sure you do it clean. 463 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:15,759 We can't afford to leave a trail of clues. 464 00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:18,284 He'll never know what hit him. 465 00:38:18,329 --> 00:38:20,422 Did you know you have a hole in your gas tank? 466 00:38:20,464 --> 00:38:22,432 Actually, that's how you get the gas in it. 467 00:38:22,466 --> 00:38:23,786 Listen, why don't you top her off. 468 00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:25,132 I'm going to go freshen up. 469 00:39:14,585 --> 00:39:16,746 Thank you for the excellent service... 470 00:39:16,787 --> 00:39:18,118 old timer. Yep. 471 00:39:49,487 --> 00:39:50,715 Well? 472 00:39:50,755 --> 00:39:52,484 I'm afraid it's bad news. 473 00:39:52,523 --> 00:39:54,718 Don't tell me he took out McClelland, too. 474 00:39:54,759 --> 00:39:56,954 It's uncanny, sir. I've watched him... 475 00:39:56,994 --> 00:39:58,461 dispatch assailants effortlessly... 476 00:39:58,496 --> 00:40:02,626 with techniques that defy description. 477 00:40:02,666 --> 00:40:04,793 Who's our explosives expert? 478 00:40:04,835 --> 00:40:06,359 That would be Martinez, sir. 479 00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:07,803 Give him the assignment... 480 00:40:07,838 --> 00:40:09,305 and everything he needs to pull it off. 481 00:40:09,340 --> 00:40:10,637 I want it done surgical... 482 00:40:10,674 --> 00:40:12,801 and I want it done now! 483 00:40:12,843 --> 00:40:16,472 For God's sake, we're military men. 484 00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:19,540 Killing people is supposed to be our job. 485 00:41:00,157 --> 00:41:01,784 Go on! 486 00:41:01,826 --> 00:41:04,158 Please, leave me alone! 487 00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:16,469 What're you trying to do, you darn bee? 488 00:41:16,507 --> 00:41:18,099 Can't you see I'm trying to drive? 489 00:41:18,142 --> 00:41:20,838 Oh, my God! The drive bee! 490 00:41:30,354 --> 00:41:32,345 Fight, Stanley! Fight for your life! 491 00:41:40,297 --> 00:41:41,855 The tables have turned. 492 00:41:43,868 --> 00:41:46,996 The hunter becomes the hunted. 493 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:56,207 Mission accomplished. 494 00:41:56,247 --> 00:41:58,374 No one could've survived that blast. 495 00:42:04,154 --> 00:42:05,644 Now, that's a well-made shoe. 496 00:42:13,797 --> 00:42:14,957 Here's your fare... 497 00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:16,864 and a little extra for yourself. 498 00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:17,959 Thank you, sir. 499 00:42:18,002 --> 00:42:19,162 What's the occasion? 500 00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:21,262 It's just good to be home. 501 00:42:28,679 --> 00:42:30,340 Home. 502 00:42:32,016 --> 00:42:33,313 You never know how much it means to you... 503 00:42:33,350 --> 00:42:35,250 until you go away. 504 00:42:38,522 --> 00:42:40,752 What are you doing to my grass? 505 00:42:40,791 --> 00:42:42,156 Buster? 506 00:42:42,192 --> 00:42:43,716 Is that you? 507 00:42:45,162 --> 00:42:46,754 Have I been away so long? 508 00:42:46,797 --> 00:42:48,389 You live next door, Stanley. 509 00:42:48,432 --> 00:42:50,127 Please, call me dad. 510 00:42:50,167 --> 00:42:51,862 Dad! 511 00:42:54,038 --> 00:42:57,530 This day keeps getting stranger and stranger. 512 00:42:57,575 --> 00:42:58,837 We find ourselves today... 513 00:42:58,876 --> 00:43:00,571 at the center of a puzzle. 514 00:43:00,611 --> 00:43:03,603 At first, all is confusing. 515 00:43:03,647 --> 00:43:05,444 But as the pieces come together, 516 00:43:05,482 --> 00:43:07,450 patterns emerge. 517 00:43:07,484 --> 00:43:08,781 And before long, we can see... 518 00:43:08,819 --> 00:43:11,481 the sinister face of conspiracy. 519 00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:15,824 And it all begins with a man named... 520 00:43:27,004 --> 00:43:28,665 Mr. Sender. 521 00:43:46,857 --> 00:43:48,324 Letters... 522 00:43:48,359 --> 00:43:50,691 easier to open than pistachios. 523 00:43:52,196 --> 00:43:56,189 What's inside is more delicious. 524 00:43:56,233 --> 00:44:00,169 "If you still love me, Sally... 525 00:44:00,204 --> 00:44:03,605 "tie a ribbon 'round the old oak tree." 526 00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:05,438 I'm afraid the only thing... 527 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:08,445 that's going to be hanging from that tree is you... 528 00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:10,276 Bob. 529 00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:18,887 Poor Jenny Miller. 530 00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:23,293 Nobody coming to her wedding. 531 00:44:30,234 --> 00:44:31,792 This postal ploy of yours... 532 00:44:31,835 --> 00:44:34,133 is the most evil caper of our age... 533 00:44:34,171 --> 00:44:35,297 Mr. Sender. 534 00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:36,704 How will you ever top yourself? 535 00:44:36,740 --> 00:44:38,970 With a crime so unthinkable... 536 00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:41,978 that no one has ever dared to attempt it. 537 00:44:42,012 --> 00:44:46,381 To rob an entire nation of its garbage. 538 00:44:46,417 --> 00:44:49,215 The one resource no one ever thinks to protect. 539 00:44:49,253 --> 00:44:51,312 Yet, without it... 540 00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:53,983 every Hefty bag, every trash compactor... 541 00:44:54,024 --> 00:44:55,992 every rubbish bin in America... 542 00:44:56,026 --> 00:44:57,653 will be useless. 543 00:44:57,695 --> 00:44:59,822 Desperate men will roam the streets... 544 00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:02,093 with empty wastebaskets. 545 00:45:02,132 --> 00:45:04,760 Panic and chaos will rule the land. 546 00:45:04,802 --> 00:45:07,100 The precious balance of civilization... 547 00:45:07,137 --> 00:45:09,105 will be destroyed... 548 00:45:09,139 --> 00:45:13,940 and then, the world will come begging for mercy... 549 00:45:13,977 --> 00:45:16,036 to me. 550 00:45:17,748 --> 00:45:21,445 Your job is to kidnap anyone... 551 00:45:21,485 --> 00:45:24,147 who discovers my diabolical plan. 552 00:45:26,323 --> 00:45:28,314 Including children. 553 00:45:33,664 --> 00:45:36,861 This fiendishness must be stopped! 554 00:45:46,844 --> 00:45:48,641 It's not our battle to fight, Johnson. 555 00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:49,976 We've got enough trouble... 556 00:45:50,013 --> 00:45:52,379 getting soy sauce into these tiny packets. 557 00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:53,974 Maybe we can't stop Sender... 558 00:45:54,017 --> 00:45:55,484 but I know someone who can. 559 00:45:55,519 --> 00:45:56,645 A bright fellow I worked with... 560 00:45:56,687 --> 00:45:58,052 in the postal service. 561 00:45:59,656 --> 00:46:01,419 Are the guards posted out front? 562 00:46:01,458 --> 00:46:02,948 Only the best. 563 00:46:09,633 --> 00:46:10,895 Well? 564 00:46:10,934 --> 00:46:13,300 No one suspects a thing, Mr. Sender. 565 00:46:13,337 --> 00:46:16,101 Unless that bush has ears. 566 00:46:23,981 --> 00:46:27,439 The joke's on you, my friends. 567 00:46:27,484 --> 00:46:28,781 Bad news, sir. 568 00:46:28,819 --> 00:46:31,287 Stanley Stupid has discovered our secret. 569 00:46:31,321 --> 00:46:32,321 At last... 570 00:46:32,322 --> 00:46:35,291 a foe worthy of matching wits with. 571 00:46:35,325 --> 00:46:39,318 Release the drive bee. 572 00:47:13,263 --> 00:47:15,788 So you see, it all begins with Mister... 573 00:47:19,469 --> 00:47:21,164 Sender. 574 00:47:21,205 --> 00:47:22,934 The police are against us... 575 00:47:22,973 --> 00:47:25,305 and obviously, we can't go to the press. 576 00:47:25,342 --> 00:47:28,072 What are we going to do, Stanley? 577 00:47:28,111 --> 00:47:30,579 We've got to take on Sender ourselves. 578 00:47:32,082 --> 00:47:33,947 Oh, it won't be easy finding him. 579 00:47:33,984 --> 00:47:35,611 Scouring the countryside... 580 00:47:35,652 --> 00:47:37,449 for microscopic clues... 581 00:47:37,487 --> 00:47:40,115 following trails that are long since cold... 582 00:47:40,157 --> 00:47:41,954 sensing him always nearby... 583 00:47:41,992 --> 00:47:45,291 yet somehow, maddeningly beyond our grasp. 584 00:47:45,329 --> 00:47:48,127 Hey! There's a Charles Sender... 585 00:47:48,165 --> 00:47:50,599 listed right here in this phone book. 586 00:47:50,634 --> 00:47:52,568 The manhunt begins! 587 00:48:05,582 --> 00:48:07,345 The car won't start! 588 00:48:07,384 --> 00:48:09,181 Maybe the battery is dead. 589 00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:11,653 It was perfectly healthy this afternoon. 590 00:48:11,688 --> 00:48:13,383 Well, then maybe it's got some life left in it. 591 00:48:13,423 --> 00:48:15,254 I better give it mouth-to-mouth. 592 00:48:24,801 --> 00:48:25,801 Not now, Kitty. 593 00:48:25,802 --> 00:48:27,827 I've got a battery to revive. 594 00:48:36,647 --> 00:48:38,478 Wait a minute. What am I doing? 595 00:48:38,515 --> 00:48:40,847 I've cooked up some insane conspiracy theory... 596 00:48:40,884 --> 00:48:42,977 and put myself in the middle of an illegal weapons deal... 597 00:48:43,020 --> 00:48:44,988 with some of the world's most dangerous men. 598 00:48:45,022 --> 00:48:47,616 I've risked my life and the lives of my family... 599 00:48:47,658 --> 00:48:50,991 in a scheme that makes absolutely no sense at all. 600 00:48:53,530 --> 00:48:56,363 Insight fading... 601 00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,994 I must remember not to go forward with this. 602 00:48:59,036 --> 00:49:00,697 What is it, Stanley? 603 00:49:00,737 --> 00:49:02,329 What are you supposed to remember? 604 00:49:02,372 --> 00:49:03,930 Um... 605 00:49:06,176 --> 00:49:07,336 I don't know. 606 00:49:15,152 --> 00:49:17,450 Let's go, everybody. We got a job to do. 607 00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:36,932 Hey! What about the delivery? 608 00:49:36,974 --> 00:49:40,034 You can't just order food and run off like that! 609 00:49:41,912 --> 00:49:46,508 You have insulted the dignity of Floyd's Delicatessen. 610 00:49:56,593 --> 00:49:58,618 You're sure this is the place? 611 00:49:58,662 --> 00:49:59,788 Oh, yes. 612 00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:01,491 When I called sender's home... 613 00:50:01,531 --> 00:50:04,523 his wife said that he works here. 614 00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:07,230 A likely story. 615 00:50:08,372 --> 00:50:09,669 Heh. 616 00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:18,773 OK, Joan. 617 00:50:18,815 --> 00:50:20,840 You and Buster search that end of the building. 618 00:50:20,884 --> 00:50:22,715 Petunia and I will take this end. 619 00:50:22,753 --> 00:50:25,984 And remember, everybody. Use your heads. 620 00:51:27,184 --> 00:51:29,152 I found his headquarters! 621 00:51:31,121 --> 00:51:34,147 And I've stumbled upon his fiendish laboratory! 622 00:51:41,865 --> 00:51:43,264 Careful, Petunia. 623 00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:45,461 One false move and we could end up dead. 624 00:51:50,006 --> 00:51:51,268 Dad? 625 00:51:51,308 --> 00:51:53,071 Petunia? 626 00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:55,670 Everything has gone dark. 627 00:51:55,712 --> 00:51:57,236 I can't see a thing. 628 00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:00,443 Oh, my God, it's happened! 629 00:52:00,484 --> 00:52:03,146 We're dead. 630 00:52:03,186 --> 00:52:05,984 I knew it! 631 00:52:17,667 --> 00:52:19,259 So this is heaven. 632 00:52:19,302 --> 00:52:21,964 It's quite lovely, really. 633 00:52:24,474 --> 00:52:25,873 Funny, isn't it? 634 00:52:25,909 --> 00:52:27,399 One minute you're tracking down... 635 00:52:27,444 --> 00:52:29,105 the head of a global conspiracy... 636 00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:30,841 and the next minute, poof! 637 00:52:30,881 --> 00:52:33,645 It's all over. 638 00:52:33,683 --> 00:52:35,878 Sure puts things in perspective. 639 00:52:35,919 --> 00:52:38,410 You know who I miss the most? 640 00:52:38,455 --> 00:52:41,049 Mom and Buster. 641 00:52:41,091 --> 00:52:42,752 Don't worry, honey. 642 00:52:42,792 --> 00:52:44,384 They'll be joining us soon enough... 643 00:52:44,427 --> 00:52:45,826 the way your mom drives. 644 00:52:48,198 --> 00:52:49,460 Hello? 645 00:52:49,499 --> 00:52:50,864 Somebody in here? 646 00:52:50,901 --> 00:52:52,994 Dad, someone's coming. 647 00:52:54,804 --> 00:52:56,032 You think? 648 00:52:57,841 --> 00:52:59,206 Yes, Petunia. 649 00:52:59,242 --> 00:53:02,370 It's time to meet Our Creator. 650 00:53:08,485 --> 00:53:10,180 Hail to Thee, o Lord. 651 00:53:10,220 --> 00:53:13,587 Actually, it's pronounced Lloyd. 652 00:53:15,759 --> 00:53:18,455 All these years, we've been saying it wrong. 653 00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:27,703 So... 654 00:53:27,737 --> 00:53:31,434 this is the face of evil. 655 00:53:46,423 --> 00:53:50,792 And this is the diary of his twisted schemes. 656 00:53:59,369 --> 00:54:01,860 Dates... numbers... 657 00:54:01,905 --> 00:54:03,702 years? 658 00:54:05,408 --> 00:54:07,433 What in the world? 659 00:54:07,477 --> 00:54:09,945 Buster, come on! 660 00:54:09,980 --> 00:54:11,971 I found out where sender's going next. 661 00:54:12,015 --> 00:54:13,243 Just a minute, mom. 662 00:54:13,283 --> 00:54:16,047 I've discovered a mysterious room here. 663 00:54:16,086 --> 00:54:18,782 There's a strange-looking clock over the top of it. 664 00:54:22,192 --> 00:54:24,820 And a control panel with a bunch of numbers. 665 00:54:24,861 --> 00:54:27,421 One would almost think it's some kind of... 666 00:54:27,464 --> 00:54:29,432 Time machine! 667 00:54:35,639 --> 00:54:36,901 Mom, he“?! 668 00:54:36,940 --> 00:54:38,635 Buster, no! 669 00:54:48,285 --> 00:54:49,877 What buttons did you press? 670 00:54:49,919 --> 00:54:50,919 I don't know. 671 00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:52,217 Just a bunch of random numbers... 672 00:54:52,255 --> 00:54:54,086 and the letters "B C". 673 00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:56,422 Oh, my God. 674 00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:27,622 We've traveled back to the age of the dinosaurs. 675 00:55:34,264 --> 00:55:37,233 It's just so amazing to meet you at last. 676 00:55:37,267 --> 00:55:38,666 Well, thank you. 677 00:55:38,702 --> 00:55:40,863 It's nice to meet someone who appreciates... 678 00:55:40,904 --> 00:55:42,132 the work I do. 679 00:55:42,172 --> 00:55:43,537 Appreciates it? 680 00:55:43,573 --> 00:55:46,064 Why, you're the one that takes care of the entire universe. 681 00:55:46,109 --> 00:55:47,633 But you'd be surprised how little thanks... 682 00:55:47,677 --> 00:55:48,677 I get for it. 683 00:55:48,678 --> 00:55:50,646 Most people don't even know I exist. 684 00:55:52,716 --> 00:55:56,379 This is the single most fantastic journey... 685 00:55:56,419 --> 00:55:58,649 in the history of the world. 686 00:56:02,792 --> 00:56:04,817 Keep your voice down, son. 687 00:56:04,861 --> 00:56:06,181 If one of these things wakes up... 688 00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,027 we're in real trouble. 689 00:56:08,064 --> 00:56:10,658 They look absolutely starved. 690 00:56:22,912 --> 00:56:24,072 Hey, look, mom! 691 00:56:24,114 --> 00:56:26,480 The cave of some prehistoric peoples. 692 00:56:33,790 --> 00:56:35,758 Their tools seem to be... 693 00:56:35,792 --> 00:56:37,953 fashioned of a primitive Styrofoam. 694 00:56:37,994 --> 00:56:39,655 We've got to be careful, Buster. 695 00:56:39,696 --> 00:56:42,062 The slightest disturbance to this ancient world... 696 00:56:42,098 --> 00:56:44,532 could affect the entire course of history. 697 00:56:44,567 --> 00:56:47,058 Yes... 698 00:56:47,103 --> 00:56:51,096 the entire course of history. 699 00:56:57,147 --> 00:56:58,580 What are you doing? 700 00:57:02,819 --> 00:57:04,150 Just think. 701 00:57:04,187 --> 00:57:06,883 My name is now the first word ever written. 702 00:57:06,923 --> 00:57:10,450 This rock will be the most sacred mystery on Earth. 703 00:57:10,493 --> 00:57:12,791 Buster, snap out of it. 704 00:57:12,829 --> 00:57:14,888 When mankind learns to read... 705 00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:16,421 I will be worshipped. 706 00:57:17,801 --> 00:57:20,031 Nations will rise and fall in my name. 707 00:57:21,504 --> 00:57:22,504 Life on Earth... 708 00:57:22,539 --> 00:57:26,305 will be nothing but a footnote to Buster. 709 00:57:26,342 --> 00:57:28,833 We've gotta get out of here. 710 00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:31,542 Not to be disrespectful... 711 00:57:31,581 --> 00:57:34,072 but I feel that perhaps we've come here too early. 712 00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:35,550 The truth is, the two of you... 713 00:57:35,585 --> 00:57:37,416 shouldn't be here at all. 714 00:57:37,454 --> 00:57:39,854 You mean, you're sending us back into the world? 715 00:57:39,889 --> 00:57:42,551 I'm afraid so. But don't get me wrong. 716 00:57:42,592 --> 00:57:44,321 It's been a pleasure talking to you... 717 00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,453 but there's work to be done. 718 00:57:46,496 --> 00:57:49,363 So, our crusade against the world's injustice is important! 719 00:57:49,399 --> 00:57:52,334 Just head through that door marked "exit." 720 00:57:52,368 --> 00:57:54,928 Take you back to where your car is parked. 721 00:57:54,971 --> 00:57:56,199 Did you hear that, Petunia? 722 00:57:56,239 --> 00:57:57,439 We're getting a second chance! 723 00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:58,964 Hurray! 724 00:58:01,845 --> 00:58:04,370 Do you have any final words for us before we go? 725 00:58:04,414 --> 00:58:07,110 Well, if you want to make my job easier... 726 00:58:07,150 --> 00:58:09,618 remember, throw your gum in the trash... 727 00:58:09,652 --> 00:58:11,210 when you're done chewing it. 728 00:58:11,254 --> 00:58:13,085 I spend a huge amount of my time... 729 00:58:13,122 --> 00:58:14,384 cleaning up gum. 730 00:58:14,424 --> 00:58:17,518 So long as we live, we shall fight that wrong. 731 00:58:27,370 --> 00:58:28,997 Sorry, mom. 732 00:58:29,038 --> 00:58:31,336 I sort of went mad with power back there. 733 00:58:31,374 --> 00:58:35,037 Well, the most important thing is we made it. 734 00:58:35,411 --> 00:58:38,073 Mom! Buster! 735 00:58:38,114 --> 00:58:40,446 Joan! Buster! 736 00:58:42,952 --> 00:58:44,419 Dad! Petunia! 737 00:58:44,454 --> 00:58:47,150 Stanley! Petunia! 738 00:58:50,627 --> 00:58:51,753 You made it! 739 00:58:53,129 --> 00:58:54,858 Are you all right? How did it go in there? 740 00:58:54,898 --> 00:58:56,923 Well, Joan, we had a remarkable 20 minutes. 741 00:58:56,966 --> 00:59:00,060 We died, went to heaven, met God... 742 00:59:00,103 --> 00:59:01,263 and got brought back to life. 743 00:59:02,472 --> 00:59:03,871 But still no sign of Sender. 744 00:59:03,907 --> 00:59:05,033 Oh. 745 00:59:05,074 --> 00:59:06,200 What happened to you guys? 746 00:59:06,242 --> 00:59:08,608 We traveled through time to the age of dinosaurs... 747 00:59:08,645 --> 00:59:10,203 and Buster established himself... 748 00:59:10,246 --> 00:59:12,077 as the most important and mysterious figure... 749 00:59:12,115 --> 00:59:13,115 in history. 750 00:59:13,116 --> 00:59:14,344 Buster? 751 00:59:14,384 --> 00:59:15,715 Sorry, dad. 752 00:59:17,086 --> 00:59:18,553 And even more importantly... 753 00:59:18,588 --> 00:59:19,748 we found this. 754 00:59:22,358 --> 00:59:25,486 Names, places, dates, times. 755 00:59:25,528 --> 00:59:27,462 Wait a minute. 756 00:59:27,497 --> 00:59:29,158 There's an entry in here for today. 757 00:59:29,198 --> 00:59:31,723 Channel 3 News at 1:00. 758 00:59:31,768 --> 00:59:34,066 We passed the Channel 3 News station... 759 00:59:34,103 --> 00:59:35,263 on the way over here! 760 00:59:35,305 --> 00:59:36,772 And it's almost one now! 761 00:59:36,806 --> 00:59:38,205 The trail is still fresh! 762 00:59:38,241 --> 00:59:39,401 Let's go. 763 01:00:05,134 --> 01:00:06,931 We're here! 764 01:00:15,044 --> 01:00:16,534 Somewhere in this building... 765 01:00:16,579 --> 01:00:18,171 is the man we're looking for. 766 01:00:18,214 --> 01:00:20,910 Let's find him before he finds us. 767 01:00:31,828 --> 01:00:33,693 Good news today for culture buffs. 768 01:00:33,730 --> 01:00:36,790 The new exhibit arrives today at the Museum of Natural History... 769 01:00:36,833 --> 01:00:38,425 and here to tell us about the highlights... 770 01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:40,663 is museum director Charles Sender. 771 01:00:40,703 --> 01:00:41,703 Welcome. 772 01:00:41,704 --> 01:00:42,796 Thank you, thank you. 773 01:00:42,839 --> 01:00:45,672 You know, if you love pre-Columbian sculpture... 774 01:00:45,708 --> 01:00:47,369 as much as I do... 775 01:00:47,410 --> 01:00:49,435 you are in for a real surprise... 776 01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:51,276 because in less than an hour... 777 01:00:51,314 --> 01:00:54,613 I will be picking up a stunning collection... 778 01:00:54,651 --> 01:00:57,814 of Olmec heads on loan from museums... 779 01:00:57,854 --> 01:00:58,878 all over the world. 780 01:00:58,921 --> 01:01:00,752 Now, I understand it's exhibits like this... 781 01:01:00,790 --> 01:01:03,486 that have given our museum its most profitable year ever. 782 01:01:03,526 --> 01:01:06,393 You must be a very sought-after curator. 783 01:01:06,429 --> 01:01:10,889 Yes. Sometimes I feel like a hunted man. 784 01:01:14,237 --> 01:01:16,637 Try your best to blend in, Petunia. 785 01:01:16,673 --> 01:01:18,402 Remember, we can't afford to get caught. 786 01:01:18,441 --> 01:01:19,931 Oh, excuse me. 787 01:01:19,976 --> 01:01:21,375 I'm looking for the set of "The Late At Night Show." 788 01:01:21,411 --> 01:01:23,242 Excuse me. I'm looking for the set... 789 01:01:23,279 --> 01:01:24,303 of "The Late At Night Show." 790 01:01:24,347 --> 01:01:25,678 I'm supposed to be making a delivery there. 791 01:01:25,715 --> 01:01:27,683 I'm supposed to be making a delivery there! 792 01:01:27,717 --> 01:01:29,241 Could you give this to Doug the stage hand? 793 01:01:29,285 --> 01:01:30,285 I'd be so grateful. 794 01:01:30,286 --> 01:01:31,685 He's a big fat guy. You can't miss him. 795 01:01:31,721 --> 01:01:33,188 Here. 796 01:01:33,222 --> 01:01:35,156 This will get you backstage. 797 01:01:35,191 --> 01:01:37,716 I really appreciate this. 798 01:01:41,898 --> 01:01:44,025 I'm sorry. They're taping a TV show. 799 01:01:44,067 --> 01:01:46,331 No one gets in without proper authorization. 800 01:01:47,603 --> 01:01:49,332 Oh, ma'am, this way, please. 801 01:01:54,043 --> 01:01:56,102 Keep your eyes peeled for anything unusual, son. 802 01:01:56,145 --> 01:01:58,705 Mr. Sender can't be far away. 803 01:01:58,748 --> 01:02:00,443 Just watch for the slightest sign... 804 01:02:00,483 --> 01:02:02,007 of strange behavior. 805 01:02:02,051 --> 01:02:03,518 Dad? 806 01:02:03,553 --> 01:02:06,613 They're putting make-up on men in there. 807 01:02:06,656 --> 01:02:08,556 Bull's-eye. 808 01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:16,732 Are they ready? 809 01:02:16,733 --> 01:02:17,733 Ready when you are. 810 01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:19,065 Then let's go, everyone. 811 01:02:19,102 --> 01:02:20,296 We're on. 812 01:02:27,777 --> 01:02:29,335 OK, let's go. 813 01:02:32,148 --> 01:02:35,140 Yeah, but Sly is a lot taller now. 814 01:02:35,184 --> 01:02:36,184 You know, people think... 815 01:02:36,185 --> 01:02:37,550 it's really easy being a celebrity... 816 01:02:37,587 --> 01:02:40,317 but when they canceled my series "Malibu Beach Detective"... 817 01:02:40,356 --> 01:02:42,381 I was just absolutely devastated. 818 01:02:49,332 --> 01:02:52,495 Well, I'm sure everyone is very sympathetic for you. 819 01:02:52,535 --> 01:02:55,265 You put so much work into such a fine series... 820 01:02:55,304 --> 01:02:56,737 to have it taken off the air. 821 01:02:56,773 --> 01:02:59,264 As an artist, I was truly crushed. 822 01:03:04,046 --> 01:03:06,776 It was the most awful, heartbreaking, shocking thing... 823 01:03:06,816 --> 01:03:07,908 that's ever happened to me. 824 01:03:17,693 --> 01:03:21,322 Mom, I can't get this light switch to work. 825 01:03:21,364 --> 01:03:23,093 Just a moment, dear. 826 01:03:28,171 --> 01:03:30,662 OK. Now. Let's take a look. 827 01:03:39,582 --> 01:03:40,879 Well, maybe you'd all be happier... 828 01:03:40,917 --> 01:03:42,817 if there was no prime time television. 829 01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:49,718 What's going on? 830 01:03:56,899 --> 01:03:59,026 You could spend every night reading books together. 831 01:04:12,114 --> 01:04:13,479 Well... 832 01:04:13,516 --> 01:04:16,485 My next guest is a world-class French chef... 833 01:04:19,388 --> 01:04:20,821 Give it to the fat guy! 834 01:04:22,225 --> 01:04:25,422 Fat? Fat! Moi, fat? 835 01:04:46,148 --> 01:04:47,581 OK, let's settle, everybody. 836 01:04:47,617 --> 01:04:51,246 We're on in 5, 4, 3... 837 01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:55,858 Have you ever thought you came from an unusual family? 838 01:04:55,892 --> 01:04:58,053 Well, after you meet my guests today... 839 01:04:58,094 --> 01:05:01,552 you may want to adjust your standards. 840 01:05:01,597 --> 01:05:03,030 I divorced my wife... 841 01:05:03,065 --> 01:05:05,932 in order to date her daughter. 842 01:05:07,670 --> 01:05:11,606 I married a Siamese twin... 843 01:05:11,641 --> 01:05:13,199 and had an affair with her sister. 844 01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:18,707 I have been engaged to 3 of my cousins. 845 01:05:22,551 --> 01:05:24,781 L... 846 01:05:24,820 --> 01:05:26,412 Well, to tell you the truth... 847 01:05:29,025 --> 01:05:30,253 I'm... 848 01:05:30,293 --> 01:05:32,659 I'm my own grandpa. 849 01:05:32,695 --> 01:05:34,788 You're your own grandpa? 850 01:05:34,830 --> 01:05:36,127 That's right. 851 01:05:36,165 --> 01:05:39,032 Well, for those of us who've never heard of such a thing... 852 01:05:39,068 --> 01:05:40,467 maybe you could explain. 853 01:05:40,503 --> 01:05:42,300 Of course. It's quite simple, really. 854 01:05:42,338 --> 01:05:45,796 Many, many years ago when I was 23 855 01:05:45,841 --> 01:05:49,402 I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be 856 01:05:49,445 --> 01:05:51,675 This widow had a grown-up daughter 857 01:05:51,714 --> 01:05:53,409 Who had hair of red 858 01:05:53,449 --> 01:05:55,280 My father fell in love with her 859 01:05:55,318 --> 01:05:56,751 And soon they, too, were wed 860 01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:59,084 This made my dad my son-in-law 861 01:05:59,121 --> 01:06:00,452 And changed my very life 862 01:06:00,489 --> 01:06:02,423 For my daughter was my mother 863 01:06:02,458 --> 01:06:04,392 'Cause she was my father's wife 864 01:06:04,427 --> 01:06:06,156 To complicate the matter 865 01:06:06,195 --> 01:06:08,220 Even though it brought me joy 866 01:06:08,264 --> 01:06:11,825 I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy 867 01:06:11,867 --> 01:06:15,359 My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad 868 01:06:15,404 --> 01:06:19,101 And so became my uncle though it made me very sad 869 01:06:19,141 --> 01:06:20,904 For if he was my uncle 870 01:06:20,943 --> 01:06:22,774 Then that also made him brother 871 01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:24,677 To the widow's grown-up daughter 872 01:06:24,714 --> 01:06:26,614 Who, of course, was my stepmother 873 01:06:27,917 --> 01:06:29,612 That was our banker in Bern. 874 01:06:29,652 --> 01:06:31,813 Payments will be transferred to our account... 875 01:06:31,854 --> 01:06:35,221 when we deliver the hardware in approximately 2 hours. 876 01:06:35,257 --> 01:06:37,885 Nothing left to do but relax, Lieutenant. 877 01:06:37,927 --> 01:06:41,886 No power on Earth can stop us now. 878 01:06:41,931 --> 01:06:45,128 I'm my own grandpa 879 01:06:45,167 --> 01:06:47,965 I'm my own grandpa 880 01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:49,733 It's impossible. 881 01:06:49,772 --> 01:06:51,205 We killed that man. 882 01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:54,175 Well, for God's sake, kill him again. 883 01:06:54,210 --> 01:06:56,371 Our future is in his hands. 884 01:06:56,412 --> 01:06:58,209 My father's wife then had a son 885 01:06:58,247 --> 01:07:00,010 Who kept them on the run 886 01:07:00,049 --> 01:07:01,641 And he became my grandchild 887 01:07:01,684 --> 01:07:03,845 'Cause he was my daughter's son 888 01:07:03,886 --> 01:07:05,786 My wife is now my mother's mother 889 01:07:05,821 --> 01:07:07,413 And it makes me blue 890 01:07:07,456 --> 01:07:09,321 Because although she is my wife 891 01:07:09,358 --> 01:07:11,121 She's my grandmother, too 892 01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:14,755 if my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild 893 01:07:14,797 --> 01:07:16,765 And every time I think of it 894 01:07:16,799 --> 01:07:18,596 It nearly drives me wild 895 01:07:18,634 --> 01:07:19,896 This has got to be 896 01:07:19,935 --> 01:07:22,130 The strangest thing I ever saw 897 01:07:22,171 --> 01:07:25,572 As husband of my grandmother, lam my own grandpa 898 01:07:25,608 --> 01:07:28,702 I'm my own grandpa 899 01:07:28,744 --> 01:07:30,109 Everybody! 900 01:07:30,146 --> 01:07:32,876 I'm my own grandpa 901 01:07:32,915 --> 01:07:36,749 It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so 902 01:07:36,786 --> 01:07:40,654 Hey, I'm my own grandpa 903 01:07:40,689 --> 01:07:41,815 Stay tuned, everybody. 904 01:07:41,857 --> 01:07:43,825 We'll be right back after this break. 905 01:07:49,098 --> 01:07:51,566 Thanks again for coming to the station, Mr. Sender. 906 01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:53,363 It was a pleasure, I assure you. 907 01:07:53,402 --> 01:07:54,835 Bye-bye. 908 01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:58,400 Sender. 909 01:07:58,441 --> 01:08:00,409 We meet at last. 910 01:08:00,443 --> 01:08:02,035 No time to chat, I'm afraid. 911 01:08:02,078 --> 01:08:03,602 I'm taking over the heads... 912 01:08:03,646 --> 01:08:06,308 of a dozen foreign countries. 913 01:08:10,352 --> 01:08:11,614 My God! 914 01:08:11,654 --> 01:08:13,974 His plans for world domination are already coming together. 915 01:08:18,727 --> 01:08:20,388 You know what's strange, dad? 916 01:08:20,429 --> 01:08:23,125 I would have thought a man as powerful as Sender... 917 01:08:23,165 --> 01:08:25,463 would be surrounded by bodyguards. 918 01:08:25,501 --> 01:08:27,662 You can't see them, Buster, but they're here... 919 01:08:27,703 --> 01:08:30,638 ready to pounce on anyone who so much as utters the words... 920 01:08:30,673 --> 01:08:31,970 "I'll get you yet, Sender." 921 01:08:32,007 --> 01:08:33,007 Whoa! 922 01:08:33,008 --> 01:08:35,272 Hey! Let go of my dad! 923 01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:45,144 Buster! 924 01:08:46,922 --> 01:08:48,116 What happened? 925 01:08:48,157 --> 01:08:50,717 It's sender's men. They've captured dad. 926 01:08:54,864 --> 01:08:56,491 So, where are we going, fellas? 927 01:09:10,746 --> 01:09:12,077 Fasten your seatbelts. 928 01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:35,330 You're a clever man, Mr. Stupid... 929 01:09:35,371 --> 01:09:38,306 if that really is your name. 930 01:09:38,340 --> 01:09:40,672 Too clever for your own good. 931 01:09:42,244 --> 01:09:46,010 And you play the innocent most convincingly. 932 01:09:46,048 --> 01:09:49,484 You thought you'd fool me into thinking you were dead... 933 01:09:49,518 --> 01:09:50,958 and then you'd catch me red-handed... 934 01:09:50,986 --> 01:09:53,011 when I went to make the sale. 935 01:09:53,055 --> 01:09:56,183 A masterful bit of strategy... 936 01:09:56,225 --> 01:10:00,161 and you came dangerously close to pulling it off. 937 01:10:00,196 --> 01:10:02,096 We better get going, sir. 938 01:10:02,131 --> 01:10:05,066 We're due at Warehouse 21 in less than an hour. 939 01:10:05,100 --> 01:10:06,761 Warehouse 21? 940 01:10:06,802 --> 01:10:09,669 No use gathering intelligence now, my friend. 941 01:10:09,705 --> 01:10:12,299 Our little chess game is over. 942 01:10:14,710 --> 01:10:16,837 I hope you won't find the endgame... 943 01:10:16,879 --> 01:10:19,746 too unpleasant. 944 01:10:19,782 --> 01:10:22,012 I'm sorry, ma'am. There's nothing I can do. 945 01:10:37,933 --> 01:10:39,161 It's no use. 946 01:10:39,201 --> 01:10:40,930 They won't let anyone onto that army base... 947 01:10:40,970 --> 01:10:42,198 unless they're in the army. 948 01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:45,105 This is serious. Dad's in danger. 949 01:10:45,140 --> 01:10:46,573 We gotta think of something. 950 01:10:46,609 --> 01:10:49,476 What if we form our own army? 951 01:10:49,511 --> 01:10:52,139 To do that, we'd have to form our own country. 952 01:10:52,181 --> 01:10:54,376 We could call it Stupidia... 953 01:10:54,416 --> 01:10:56,316 a sovereign nation, with its own laws... 954 01:10:56,352 --> 01:10:57,944 its own customs, its own government! 955 01:10:57,987 --> 01:11:00,285 Mom... mother of this household... 956 01:11:00,322 --> 01:11:02,483 your leadership has stood the test of time. 957 01:11:04,293 --> 01:11:06,284 I'd like to nominate you as president. 958 01:11:06,328 --> 01:11:07,659 To the polls, everyone. 959 01:11:07,696 --> 01:11:09,493 Get this over with already, would you? 960 01:11:09,531 --> 01:11:11,556 This guy has already taken out 3 of our best. 961 01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,227 Relax. 962 01:11:15,571 --> 01:11:17,971 His hands are tied. He's unarmed. 963 01:11:18,007 --> 01:11:21,841 We've got 2 guards posted outside. 964 01:11:21,877 --> 01:11:23,811 And I've got a gun on him. 965 01:11:23,846 --> 01:11:25,905 There's no way he's leaving here alive. 966 01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,643 Isn't that right, Mr. Stupid? 967 01:11:31,186 --> 01:11:34,121 Remember, throw your gum in the trash... 968 01:11:34,156 --> 01:11:35,589 when you're done chewing it. 969 01:11:35,624 --> 01:11:37,558 I spend a huge amount of my time... 970 01:11:37,593 --> 01:11:39,493 cleaning up gum. 971 01:11:39,528 --> 01:11:41,587 In the name of the Lloyd! 972 01:11:55,077 --> 01:11:56,635 Oh, jeez! 973 01:11:56,679 --> 01:11:58,670 All right, get your hands up. 974 01:12:04,687 --> 01:12:06,985 Thank you, dear Lloyd! 975 01:12:08,757 --> 01:12:11,317 The polls are dead even, give or take a vote. 976 01:12:14,430 --> 01:12:17,695 If only we knew who dad was voting for. 977 01:12:17,733 --> 01:12:19,860 Joan! Joan! 978 01:12:19,902 --> 01:12:21,460 Congratulations, mom! 979 01:12:21,503 --> 01:12:23,403 Thank you, everyone. 980 01:12:23,439 --> 01:12:25,236 And as your president... 981 01:12:25,274 --> 01:12:27,469 I appoint Stanley Stupid... 982 01:12:27,509 --> 01:12:29,374 head of the army! 983 01:12:30,913 --> 01:12:32,778 Your first duty is to go onto that army base... 984 01:12:32,815 --> 01:12:34,214 and rescue my husband! 985 01:12:34,249 --> 01:12:35,739 And get our dad while you're at it. 986 01:12:35,784 --> 01:12:37,581 I'm afraid those two will just have to wait. 987 01:12:37,619 --> 01:12:40,144 We've got to get to a place called Warehouse 21. 988 01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:44,352 Joan, give me the keys. 989 01:12:51,133 --> 01:12:53,226 The car won't start! 990 01:12:53,268 --> 01:12:55,862 Dad, you and mom... 991 01:12:55,904 --> 01:12:57,201 switch places. 992 01:13:10,786 --> 01:13:13,584 Mom, hand the keys to dad. 993 01:13:22,998 --> 01:13:24,022 Good work, everybody! 994 01:13:46,021 --> 01:13:47,613 This must be the place. 995 01:14:07,309 --> 01:14:10,870 Well, what have we here? 996 01:14:24,126 --> 01:14:25,616 50H'!!- 997 01:15:21,016 --> 01:15:22,779 EXCUSE me, everyone. 998 01:15:22,818 --> 01:15:24,683 May I have your attention, please? 999 01:15:30,559 --> 01:15:31,958 Impossible. 1000 01:15:31,994 --> 01:15:34,019 He's amazing. 1001 01:15:34,062 --> 01:15:35,620 Before you unleash strife... 1002 01:15:35,664 --> 01:15:37,791 and warfare upon this planet... 1003 01:15:37,833 --> 01:15:39,733 please, look into your hearts. 1004 01:15:40,836 --> 01:15:42,303 No guns. 1005 01:15:42,337 --> 01:15:45,306 Inside you're still human beings. 1006 01:15:45,340 --> 01:15:48,173 You can change your ways. 1007 01:15:49,578 --> 01:15:52,206 You all could come back from the dark side. 1008 01:15:53,982 --> 01:15:55,472 You! Send a squad of men... 1009 01:15:55,517 --> 01:15:57,644 towards the eastern flank of the warehouse. 1010 01:15:57,686 --> 01:15:59,654 You! Organize a counter to the left. 1011 01:15:59,688 --> 01:16:01,918 Your men will back the first 2 squads... 1012 01:16:01,957 --> 01:16:04,721 while my men rove on point. 1013 01:16:04,760 --> 01:16:07,092 But... he's only one man. 1014 01:16:07,129 --> 01:16:08,255 Trust me. 1015 01:16:08,297 --> 01:16:10,959 You don't want to underestimate him. 1016 01:16:12,234 --> 01:16:14,429 So turn yourselves in, everyone. 1017 01:16:14,469 --> 01:16:17,768 My family and I do not wish to fight you... 1018 01:16:17,806 --> 01:16:19,273 but if you do not give up... 1019 01:16:19,308 --> 01:16:20,969 you will leave us no choice. 1020 01:16:21,977 --> 01:16:23,069 Are they giving up? 1021 01:16:23,111 --> 01:16:24,442 No. As a matter of fact... 1022 01:16:24,479 --> 01:16:27,312 they seem to be organizing some sort of massive attack. 1023 01:16:28,817 --> 01:16:31,445 I guess they want to do things the hard way. 1024 01:16:34,756 --> 01:16:36,883 They seem pretty well armed, dad. 1025 01:16:36,925 --> 01:16:38,893 Yes, Buster, but so are we. 1026 01:16:38,927 --> 01:16:40,451 Oh, they may have knives and guns... 1027 01:16:40,495 --> 01:16:41,962 and missiles and bombs... 1028 01:16:41,997 --> 01:16:43,294 but we're armed with the fact... 1029 01:16:43,332 --> 01:16:44,799 that what we're doing is right. 1030 01:16:44,833 --> 01:16:47,461 Sometimes you have to trust in that. 1031 01:16:54,343 --> 01:16:56,607 Let the final showdown begin. 1032 01:17:03,852 --> 01:17:05,183 Don't! 1033 01:17:20,469 --> 01:17:22,437 Get him! 1034 01:17:31,246 --> 01:17:32,246 Move to the right! Right! 1035 01:17:32,247 --> 01:17:33,247 Left! Move! 1036 01:17:37,152 --> 01:17:38,949 Left! Right! 1037 01:17:38,987 --> 01:17:40,045 Right! 1038 01:17:45,160 --> 01:17:46,160 Left! Go right! 1039 01:17:46,161 --> 01:17:47,287 Right! Left! Left! 1040 01:17:51,366 --> 01:17:53,334 Left! Right! The other left! 1041 01:17:55,804 --> 01:17:56,804 I sot him! 1042 01:17:59,941 --> 01:18:00,965 Left! No, no! 1043 01:18:01,009 --> 01:18:02,009 Right! 1044 01:18:07,249 --> 01:18:08,249 Gentlemen! 1045 01:18:08,250 --> 01:18:09,250 All right! 1046 01:18:09,251 --> 01:18:10,251 Move it! 1047 01:18:12,688 --> 01:18:15,248 Take your time, men. 1048 01:18:15,290 --> 01:18:16,552 He's unarmed. 1049 01:18:16,591 --> 01:18:18,456 Or am I? 1050 01:18:23,799 --> 01:18:24,959 Aha! 1051 01:18:30,806 --> 01:18:32,433 Aha! 1052 01:18:43,618 --> 01:18:45,347 I'm stuck. I'm caught. I'm trapped. 1053 01:18:45,387 --> 01:18:46,854 Somebody help me out here! 1054 01:18:46,888 --> 01:18:48,185 I'm cornered! 1055 01:18:48,223 --> 01:18:50,123 Yes! That's the word I'm looking for! 1056 01:18:50,158 --> 01:18:51,182 I'm cornered! 1057 01:18:51,226 --> 01:18:52,818 I'll save you, dad! 1058 01:19:28,630 --> 01:19:30,257 Must... 1059 01:19:30,298 --> 01:19:31,595 concentrate. 1060 01:19:31,633 --> 01:19:35,262 Focus power of mind... 1061 01:19:35,303 --> 01:19:37,294 over matter. 1062 01:19:42,010 --> 01:19:45,411 Channel every ounce of willpower! 1063 01:19:45,447 --> 01:19:47,039 It's working! 1064 01:19:47,082 --> 01:19:48,276 I've done it! 1065 01:19:48,316 --> 01:19:52,184 Behold the super-human strength of Buster! 1066 01:19:52,220 --> 01:19:53,744 Huh? 1067 01:19:59,361 --> 01:20:01,625 Buster! 1068 01:20:24,352 --> 01:20:25,876 Buster. 1069 01:20:25,921 --> 01:20:28,151 Sorry, dad. 1070 01:20:28,390 --> 01:20:29,982 What the hell was that? 1071 01:20:30,025 --> 01:20:31,492 Sounds to me like it came... 1072 01:20:31,526 --> 01:20:32,823 from the warehouse district. 1073 01:20:58,920 --> 01:21:00,512 Buster! Stanley? 1074 01:21:00,555 --> 01:21:02,455 Please be careful out there. 1075 01:21:02,490 --> 01:21:04,458 There are lots of little fires... 1076 01:21:04,492 --> 01:21:06,187 burning all over the place now. 1077 01:21:27,549 --> 01:21:31,212 This is the worst fire extinguisher I've ever seen. 1078 01:22:06,187 --> 01:22:08,519 How lovely. 1079 01:22:14,329 --> 01:22:15,626 Car 15 requests backup. 1080 01:22:15,664 --> 01:22:18,724 Send squad cars immediately to Warehouse 21. 1081 01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:21,463 Car 15, we are on our way. 1082 01:22:21,503 --> 01:22:22,970 Oh, great. 1083 01:22:23,004 --> 01:22:25,268 Fine. Just great. 1084 01:22:51,499 --> 01:22:52,989 We got to get out of here. 1085 01:22:53,034 --> 01:22:54,331 Not to worry, Lieutenant. 1086 01:22:54,369 --> 01:22:55,996 The police are on my side... 1087 01:22:56,037 --> 01:22:58,028 as far as they know. 1088 01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:02,205 How do I look? 1089 01:23:02,243 --> 01:23:04,268 Quite convincing, sir... 1090 01:23:04,312 --> 01:23:06,177 but what about me? 1091 01:23:06,214 --> 01:23:10,207 You, my friend... 1092 01:23:10,251 --> 01:23:11,718 are on the wrong side of the law. 1093 01:23:11,753 --> 01:23:12,753 Sir? 1094 01:23:15,156 --> 01:23:16,623 Get some cuffs over here. 1095 01:23:16,658 --> 01:23:17,955 I got the ringleader. 1096 01:23:25,233 --> 01:23:27,133 Shoot to kill, boys. 1097 01:23:27,168 --> 01:23:29,136 Those are evil men in there. 1098 01:23:36,544 --> 01:23:38,478 You've got to let me through, officer. 1099 01:23:38,513 --> 01:23:39,810 The cargo I'm transporting... 1100 01:23:39,848 --> 01:23:41,247 is extremely cultural. 1101 01:23:41,282 --> 01:23:42,476 I'm sorry, sir, but no one's... 1102 01:23:42,517 --> 01:23:43,916 getting through here at the moment. 1103 01:23:43,952 --> 01:23:46,648 Oh, my. I guess I'll have to find... 1104 01:23:46,688 --> 01:23:48,178 another route home. 1105 01:23:48,223 --> 01:23:49,656 In the meantime, could you please just pull... 1106 01:23:49,691 --> 01:23:50,658 your vehicle over there... 1107 01:23:50,692 --> 01:23:51,681 with the rest of the cars? 1108 01:23:51,726 --> 01:23:52,988 Yes, sir. 1109 01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:56,725 Oh, Stanley, you were so brave in there. 1110 01:23:58,033 --> 01:24:01,025 Hey, look! The police are on our side again. 1111 01:24:01,069 --> 01:24:02,696 Come on! Keep moving. 1112 01:24:02,737 --> 01:24:03,737 Let's go. 1113 01:24:03,738 --> 01:24:04,796 Stay in line! 1114 01:24:05,807 --> 01:24:07,775 You go, mister. Come on, come on. 1115 01:24:07,809 --> 01:24:09,003 Move it! Move it! 1116 01:24:09,044 --> 01:24:10,773 Yes, our work here is done... 1117 01:24:10,812 --> 01:24:11,938 but before we go... 1118 01:24:11,980 --> 01:24:13,106 there's a certain arch villain... 1119 01:24:13,148 --> 01:24:14,445 I'd like to speak to. 1120 01:24:14,482 --> 01:24:15,949 I have a feeling he learned... 1121 01:24:15,984 --> 01:24:17,281 a pretty important lesson today. 1122 01:24:21,156 --> 01:24:22,953 Well, my friend... 1123 01:24:22,991 --> 01:24:24,515 it seems you lost. 1124 01:24:24,559 --> 01:24:26,857 I certainly am. 1125 01:24:26,895 --> 01:24:28,294 The problem is you took the wrong road... 1126 01:24:28,329 --> 01:24:29,387 right from the start. 1127 01:24:29,431 --> 01:24:32,730 Can you help get me back on the right path? 1128 01:24:32,767 --> 01:24:33,961 Yes, I can... 1129 01:24:34,002 --> 01:24:35,970 but it won't be easy. 1130 01:24:36,004 --> 01:24:38,472 You've got to turn yourself around. 1131 01:24:38,506 --> 01:24:41,031 You've got to straighten out... 1132 01:24:41,076 --> 01:24:42,976 but as long as you can remember... 1133 01:24:43,011 --> 01:24:44,979 to head towards the light... 1134 01:24:45,013 --> 01:24:46,207 you'll never go wrong. 1135 01:24:46,247 --> 01:24:47,475 Thanks. 1136 01:24:47,515 --> 01:24:49,540 You've really saved me. 1137 01:24:49,584 --> 01:24:52,348 Until we meet again. 1138 01:25:02,730 --> 01:25:04,698 It's been quite a day. 1139 01:25:06,134 --> 01:25:07,431 And I have to say... 1140 01:25:07,469 --> 01:25:09,460 that I'm glad it's finally over. 1141 01:25:11,806 --> 01:25:14,104 I'm afraid it's not over yet. 1142 01:25:15,977 --> 01:25:20,107 You must think you have some kind of guardian angel, Stanley. 1143 01:25:20,148 --> 01:25:22,116 You thought you could take me on... 1144 01:25:22,150 --> 01:25:23,276 and pay no price... 1145 01:25:23,318 --> 01:25:25,218 destroy my future... 1146 01:25:25,253 --> 01:25:27,949 and then slip through my fingers again and again. 1147 01:25:29,524 --> 01:25:33,790 We“, not this time, bucks'.! 1148 01:25:33,828 --> 01:25:36,956 This time I'm going to take care of you myself. 1149 01:25:36,998 --> 01:25:40,832 Where's your guardian angel now? 1150 01:25:40,869 --> 01:25:42,063 “Hm! 1151 01:25:42,103 --> 01:25:44,333 Bet you're surprised to see me. 1152 01:25:44,372 --> 01:25:45,464 We certainly are. 1153 01:25:45,507 --> 01:25:47,441 And very impressed, I might add. 1154 01:25:47,475 --> 01:25:49,466 Well, let this be a lesson to you. 1155 01:25:49,511 --> 01:25:50,978 Nobody gets away from me. 1156 01:25:51,012 --> 01:25:53,310 I've been on the job too long. 1157 01:25:53,348 --> 01:25:54,508 Here's your bill. 1158 01:26:00,555 --> 01:26:02,420 I would've thought guardian angels... 1159 01:26:02,457 --> 01:26:03,924 worked for free. 1160 01:26:03,958 --> 01:26:05,926 Oh, Joan. 1161 01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:07,951 You're so wonderfully naive. 1162 01:26:10,632 --> 01:26:13,157 I assume you work for the Lloyd. 1163 01:26:13,201 --> 01:26:14,259 Me? 1164 01:26:14,302 --> 01:26:16,463 No, my boss' name is Floyd. 1165 01:26:16,504 --> 01:26:17,766 No. 1166 01:26:17,805 --> 01:26:20,638 It's pronounced Lloyd. 1167 01:26:28,316 --> 01:26:29,908 Hey, neighbor! 1168 01:26:29,951 --> 01:26:30,951 Hey, Stanley! 1169 01:26:30,985 --> 01:26:32,452 I didn't see you around much this weekend. 1170 01:26:32,487 --> 01:26:33,545 What you been doing? 1171 01:26:33,588 --> 01:26:34,885 Aw, this and that. 1172 01:26:34,923 --> 01:26:36,015 Had breakfast... 1173 01:26:36,057 --> 01:26:38,048 read the paper, saved the world. 1174 01:26:38,092 --> 01:26:39,252 Oh, is that right? 1175 01:26:39,294 --> 01:26:40,625 Say, today I thought we'd have... 1176 01:26:40,662 --> 01:26:41,959 a little barbecue. Why don't you stop by? 1177 01:26:41,996 --> 01:26:43,116 There's plenty for everyone. 1178 01:26:43,131 --> 01:26:44,131 Well, thanks, Stanley... 1179 01:26:44,165 --> 01:26:47,396 but I left the water running in my bathtub. 1180 01:27:48,863 --> 01:27:51,627 This is gonna be great, dad. 1181 01:27:51,666 --> 01:27:53,327 Say, how can I help? 1182 01:27:53,368 --> 01:27:54,960 You can flip the burgers, son... 1183 01:27:55,003 --> 01:27:56,732 but I better handle the lighter fluid. 1184 01:27:56,771 --> 01:27:59,399 See? "Keep out of reach of children." 1185 01:27:59,440 --> 01:28:01,340 Right there. You got to be careful. 1186 01:28:08,950 --> 01:28:10,247 What is it, boy? 1187 01:28:14,489 --> 01:28:15,854 What is it, Kitty? 1188 01:28:33,207 --> 01:28:34,207 Are you hungry? 1189 01:28:34,208 --> 01:28:35,208 Do you want a biscuit? 1190 01:28:40,014 --> 01:28:42,847 That poor dog doesn't know what he wants sometimes. 1191 01:29:44,045 --> 01:29:47,446 Many, many years ago when I was 23 1192 01:29:47,482 --> 01:29:51,282 I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be 1193 01:29:51,319 --> 01:29:53,617 This widow had a grown-up daughter 1194 01:29:53,654 --> 01:29:55,281 Who had hair of red 1195 01:29:55,323 --> 01:29:57,120 My father fell in love with her 1196 01:29:57,158 --> 01:29:58,955 And soon they, too, were wed 1197 01:29:58,993 --> 01:30:00,790 This made my dad my son-in-law 1198 01:30:00,828 --> 01:30:02,295 And changed my very life 1199 01:30:02,330 --> 01:30:04,298 For my daughter was my mother 1200 01:30:04,332 --> 01:30:06,300 'Cause she was my father's wife 1201 01:30:06,334 --> 01:30:07,631 To complicate the matter 1202 01:30:07,668 --> 01:30:09,966 Even though it brought me joy 1203 01:30:10,004 --> 01:30:13,462 I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy 1204 01:30:13,508 --> 01:30:17,308 My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad 1205 01:30:17,345 --> 01:30:20,974 And so became my uncle though it made me very sad 1206 01:30:21,015 --> 01:30:22,642 For if he was my uncle 1207 01:30:22,683 --> 01:30:24,480 Then that also made him brother 1208 01:30:24,519 --> 01:30:26,316 To the widow's grown-up daughter 1209 01:30:26,354 --> 01:30:28,481 Who, of course, was my stepmother 1210 01:30:28,523 --> 01:30:32,482 I'm my own grandpa 1211 01:30:32,527 --> 01:30:35,496 I'm my own grandpa 1212 01:30:35,530 --> 01:30:39,330 It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so 1213 01:30:39,367 --> 01:30:42,825 Oh, I'm my own grandpa 1214 01:30:42,870 --> 01:30:45,168 My father's wife then had a son 1215 01:30:45,206 --> 01:30:47,174 Who kept them on the run 1216 01:30:47,208 --> 01:30:48,835 And he became my grandchild 1217 01:30:48,876 --> 01:30:50,673 'Cause he was my daughter's son 1218 01:30:50,711 --> 01:30:52,679 My wife is now my mother's mother 1219 01:30:52,713 --> 01:30:54,340 And it makes me blue 1220 01:30:54,382 --> 01:30:56,350 Because although she is my wife 1221 01:30:56,384 --> 01:30:57,851 She's my grandmother, too 1222 01:30:57,885 --> 01:31:01,787 if my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild 1223 01:31:01,823 --> 01:31:03,450 And every time I think of it 1224 01:31:03,491 --> 01:31:05,459 It nearly drives me wild 1225 01:31:05,493 --> 01:31:06,960 This has got to be 1226 01:31:06,994 --> 01:31:09,121 The strangest thing I ever saw 1227 01:31:09,163 --> 01:31:12,963 As husband of my grandmother, lam my own grandpa 1228 01:31:13,000 --> 01:31:15,628 I'm my own grandpa 1229 01:31:15,670 --> 01:31:16,670 Everybody! 1230 01:31:16,671 --> 01:31:19,799 I'm my own grandpa 1231 01:31:19,841 --> 01:31:23,641 It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so 1232 01:31:23,678 --> 01:31:27,478 Hey, I'm my own grandpa 84176

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