Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,975 --> 00:00:03,681
(music box handle creaking)
2
00:00:03,683 --> 00:00:06,266
(gentle music)
3
00:00:13,649 --> 00:00:18,649
Subtitles by explosiveskull
4
00:00:19,446 --> 00:00:22,446
(breathing heavily)
5
00:00:40,799 --> 00:00:44,132
(deep electronic music)
6
00:00:55,404 --> 00:00:57,903
Alright, for those of
you who don't know me,
7
00:00:57,905 --> 00:01:01,250
I am Tom's better looking best friend man.
8
00:01:01,252 --> 00:01:03,233
(laughing)
9
00:01:03,235 --> 00:01:05,023
We're very close to midnight so I wanted
10
00:01:05,025 --> 00:01:07,213
to get the hosts up here
'cause they have something
11
00:01:07,215 --> 00:01:08,825
special to say, Tom and Jess.
12
00:01:09,827 --> 00:01:12,193
Hey guys.
(cheering)
13
00:01:12,195 --> 00:01:16,043
So, as many of you know,
or probably don't know,
14
00:01:16,045 --> 00:01:20,333
over the past two years,
Jess and I have been having
15
00:01:20,335 --> 00:01:22,968
a lot of premarital sex.
16
00:01:22,970 --> 00:01:25,043
(cheering)
17
00:01:25,045 --> 00:01:29,053
And I have come to this
conclusion, she is too good for me.
18
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:30,205
- That's true.
- So...
19
00:01:32,105 --> 00:01:36,833
Me being as selfish as
I am, I proposed, and...
20
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:37,921
She said yes.
21
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,173
(cheering)
22
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,459
Alright that's enough.
23
00:01:43,461 --> 00:01:44,292
(laughing)
24
00:01:44,294 --> 00:01:46,493
More importantly though,
let's raise our glass
25
00:01:46,495 --> 00:01:48,087
and cheers Tom and Jess.
26
00:01:48,089 --> 00:01:50,777
Cheers.
(cheering)
27
00:01:50,779 --> 00:01:52,353
Now everyone grab a kissing partner
28
00:01:52,355 --> 00:01:54,253
'cause it's almost the countdown,
29
00:01:54,255 --> 00:01:56,305
- get ready to smooch.
- Pair up, you two.
30
00:02:00,858 --> 00:02:01,955
Alright get ready, everyone.
31
00:02:03,412 --> 00:02:06,142
10, nine, eight,
32
00:02:06,144 --> 00:02:07,561
seven, six, five,
33
00:02:08,742 --> 00:02:10,159
four, three, two,
34
00:02:11,617 --> 00:02:13,284
one, happy New Year!
35
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,240
(cheering)
36
00:02:17,242 --> 00:02:19,659
(rock music)
37
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:30,818
♪ Living life on the edge now ♪
38
00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:33,735
♪ I don't know if we can move now ♪
39
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:37,243
♪ 'Cause I'm in this break now ♪
40
00:02:37,245 --> 00:02:40,565
♪ It's time to fetch me my crown now ♪
41
00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:43,923
♪ Some time to fetch me my crown now ♪
42
00:02:43,925 --> 00:02:45,697
♪ With lush lips ♪
43
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,525
♪ Living large ♪
44
00:02:47,527 --> 00:02:49,207
♪ Fuck you princess ♪
45
00:02:49,209 --> 00:02:53,505
♪ I am in charge ♪
46
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,326
♪ I wanna love ya ♪
47
00:02:55,328 --> 00:02:56,870
♪ I wanna ruin ya ♪
48
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:59,455
♪ I wanna rule ♪
49
00:03:00,829 --> 00:03:03,216
(squeals)
50
00:03:03,218 --> 00:03:04,051
No.
51
00:03:07,808 --> 00:03:10,225
(rock music)
52
00:03:14,740 --> 00:03:16,023
♪ Vengeful spirit, look down my feet ♪
53
00:03:16,025 --> 00:03:17,539
♪ But she's saying I'm knowing the truth ♪
54
00:03:17,541 --> 00:03:18,541
More boob.
55
00:03:20,052 --> 00:03:21,155
- Perfect.
- Yeah.
56
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,443
♪ Revenge is so sweet, eyes on my feet ♪
57
00:03:23,445 --> 00:03:24,914
♪ Eyes were naked as truth ♪
58
00:03:24,916 --> 00:03:29,916
♪ Damn ♪
59
00:03:31,746 --> 00:03:33,371
♪ I wanna love ya ♪
60
00:03:33,373 --> 00:03:37,206
♪ I wanna ruin ya like a fool ♪
61
00:03:41,885 --> 00:03:42,718
Wow.
62
00:03:44,205 --> 00:03:45,275
Are you serious?
63
00:03:46,355 --> 00:03:48,713
You'll have to fight guys off all night.
64
00:03:48,715 --> 00:03:50,365
- Girls too.
- I hope so.
65
00:03:51,635 --> 00:03:52,466
Okay.
66
00:03:52,468 --> 00:03:55,083
Yeah, we're gonna have fun
tonight and it looks like
67
00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:56,413
you're going golfing.
68
00:03:56,415 --> 00:03:57,433
All slutty.
69
00:03:57,435 --> 00:04:00,173
Slutty golfing's a real
thing, Kim, you know.
70
00:04:00,175 --> 00:04:02,623
All the wedges and the woods.
71
00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:03,935
Don't forget the holes.
72
00:04:03,937 --> 00:04:05,737
- Ah the holes.
- Okay they're fun.
73
00:04:07,365 --> 00:04:09,873
Alright guys have fun, take care of her.
74
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,333
- Alright, gotta go.
- Okay, bye.
75
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,023
Have fun tonight, touch some boobs.
76
00:04:14,025 --> 00:04:15,903
- Seriously?
- Of course.
77
00:04:15,905 --> 00:04:17,977
- Okay.
- Let's go, limo's waiting.
78
00:04:17,979 --> 00:04:18,979
- Hey!
- Hey!
79
00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:24,883
I'm so excited, I've
never been in a limo
80
00:04:24,885 --> 00:04:28,823
that wasn't headed to
a funeral or something.
81
00:04:28,825 --> 00:04:33,173
Oh shit, I forgot, we have
an extra stop to make.
82
00:04:33,175 --> 00:04:34,865
- Driver.
- Yes, ma'am.
83
00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:39,833
Can you make an extra stop
at the corner of Hadingfield.
84
00:04:39,835 --> 00:04:41,613
[Driver] Yes, ma'am.
85
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,693
Laura's in town and I
told her she could come.
86
00:04:43,695 --> 00:04:46,603
Excuse me, you did what?
87
00:04:46,605 --> 00:04:48,613
She's not that bad.
88
00:04:48,615 --> 00:04:52,283
She's creepy, like a child
stuck in an adult's body.
89
00:04:52,285 --> 00:04:54,303
Oh yeah, you know what else is creepy?
90
00:04:54,305 --> 00:04:56,013
Your mom still pays your rent.
91
00:04:56,015 --> 00:04:57,383
Yep.
92
00:04:57,385 --> 00:04:58,805
Don't be jealous.
93
00:04:59,745 --> 00:05:01,433
I think it's kind of
cool that you and Laura
94
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,693
are engaged at the same time.
95
00:05:03,695 --> 00:05:05,503
Yeah, what a coincidence.
96
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,513
So hostile.
97
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:10,043
She's like a weird little unicorn kid.
98
00:05:10,045 --> 00:05:11,425
Very special.
99
00:05:12,415 --> 00:05:13,983
She's family.
100
00:05:13,985 --> 00:05:17,573
She's a stranger, you
don't know her or her fiance.
101
00:05:17,575 --> 00:05:20,435
So I'll get to know her and her fiance.
102
00:05:21,335 --> 00:05:23,105
Now let's drop it, we're here.
103
00:05:28,742 --> 00:05:30,180
Hi!
104
00:05:30,182 --> 00:05:31,182
[Jess] Hi!
105
00:05:34,471 --> 00:05:35,304
- Hi!
- Hi!
106
00:05:36,476 --> 00:05:37,973
- Hi!
- Hi!
107
00:05:37,975 --> 00:05:41,143
Wow, look at you, beautiful as ever.
108
00:05:41,145 --> 00:05:42,445
Aw thank you.
109
00:05:44,585 --> 00:05:45,863
So now that we're all here,
110
00:05:45,865 --> 00:05:49,266
to my sister from another mister.
111
00:05:49,268 --> 00:05:50,613
(clinks)
112
00:05:50,615 --> 00:05:51,615
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
113
00:05:54,635 --> 00:05:56,973
Thank you, this is way too much though.
114
00:05:56,975 --> 00:06:01,293
Please keep it, spend it on
something awesome, okay, like,
115
00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:02,964
hookers and blow or something.
116
00:06:02,966 --> 00:06:05,233
(laughs)
117
00:06:05,235 --> 00:06:07,293
So it's like nothing much,
118
00:06:07,295 --> 00:06:09,145
but I heard you might like them.
119
00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:12,458
Aww.
120
00:06:18,065 --> 00:06:18,898
Aw, cute.
121
00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:22,313
I have the same one at home.
122
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,815
Thank you, Laura, I love it.
123
00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:27,238
Oh (laughs).
124
00:06:30,485 --> 00:06:31,855
Holy cow.
125
00:06:33,565 --> 00:06:34,883
Tom gave you this?
126
00:06:34,885 --> 00:06:36,493
Well yeah.
127
00:06:36,495 --> 00:06:39,263
You weren't wearing
it at your little party.
128
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,483
Well no, 'cause it was
supposed to be a surprise.
129
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,635
[Laura] Look at mine.
130
00:06:45,795 --> 00:06:48,293
Oh wow, Laura, that was your mom.
131
00:06:48,295 --> 00:06:50,893
Yeah, Peter, you know,
he went shopping for rings,
132
00:06:50,895 --> 00:06:54,065
but all the store bought
ones are so (mumbles).
133
00:06:55,445 --> 00:06:57,533
He thought I deserved better.
134
00:06:57,535 --> 00:06:59,185
Well it is a pretty great ring.
135
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,883
Kim, whatever happened to that guy
136
00:07:03,885 --> 00:07:06,843
that was pining after you
at the New Year's party?
137
00:07:06,845 --> 00:07:08,933
Which one?
(laughs)
138
00:07:08,935 --> 00:07:10,505
You had a nickname for him?
139
00:07:14,305 --> 00:07:17,595
Cries when he, you know.
140
00:07:20,238 --> 00:07:21,687
Fucks?
141
00:07:21,689 --> 00:07:24,223
(laughs)
142
00:07:24,225 --> 00:07:26,533
Yeah, what happened to Roger?
143
00:07:26,535 --> 00:07:28,651
Why does he cry when he?
144
00:07:28,653 --> 00:07:30,127
- Fucks?
- Yeah.
145
00:07:30,129 --> 00:07:32,473
(laughing)
146
00:07:32,475 --> 00:07:35,313
I don't know, it might be
Catholic guilt or something.
147
00:07:35,315 --> 00:07:38,203
Supposedly he ordains
weddings in his spare time,
148
00:07:38,205 --> 00:07:39,973
like who does that?
149
00:07:39,975 --> 00:07:41,835
Maybe he can ordain mine.
150
00:07:42,735 --> 00:07:43,568
Or mine.
151
00:07:45,085 --> 00:07:46,553
No, I don't know.
152
00:07:46,555 --> 00:07:50,543
We fucked one time and he just
laid there crying afterwards.
153
00:07:50,545 --> 00:07:52,763
Clearly it's 'cause
you're painfully tight.
154
00:07:52,765 --> 00:07:53,598
No.
155
00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:56,605
He got all clingy, so.
156
00:07:57,715 --> 00:07:59,395
I don't know, I just got up and left.
157
00:08:00,945 --> 00:08:02,055
That's awkward.
158
00:08:03,195 --> 00:08:06,323
Maybe it was a good experience for him
159
00:08:06,325 --> 00:08:08,633
and he thought it was beautiful.
160
00:08:08,635 --> 00:08:13,635
No, I was there, it wasn't
beautiful, it was very sad.
161
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,975
He must be alone a lot.
162
00:08:22,955 --> 00:08:26,075
Alright, ladies, time to
get messy, let's roll out.
163
00:08:29,225 --> 00:08:30,275
Where are we going?
164
00:08:31,265 --> 00:08:33,293
To a dive bar.
165
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:35,453
Why didn't we take the limo?
166
00:08:35,455 --> 00:08:37,543
Because the bar's just down the street
167
00:08:37,545 --> 00:08:39,795
and I need to work off
that food we just ate.
168
00:08:42,015 --> 00:08:42,848
And the wine.
169
00:08:44,335 --> 00:08:46,183
You smoke?
170
00:08:46,185 --> 00:08:47,803
Only when I drink.
171
00:08:47,805 --> 00:08:50,055
But she drinks all the time.
172
00:08:50,057 --> 00:08:52,140
(laughs)
173
00:08:53,785 --> 00:08:55,883
Well look at this sorry group of guys.
174
00:08:55,885 --> 00:08:57,573
- Well hello ladies.
- How you doing?
175
00:08:57,575 --> 00:08:59,623
Are we enjoying ourselves tonight?
176
00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,083
[Charles] Hello Jessica.
177
00:09:01,085 --> 00:09:02,673
Hi Charles.
178
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,813
For God sake Jessica,
don't cover yourself up
179
00:09:04,815 --> 00:09:06,183
on my account.
180
00:09:06,185 --> 00:09:07,983
Never be ashamed of your sexuality.
181
00:09:07,985 --> 00:09:08,818
Dad!
182
00:09:10,405 --> 00:09:13,293
Oh Charles, she's
always had body issues,
183
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:14,495
it's not because of you.
184
00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:16,538
Hi Tom.
185
00:09:18,829 --> 00:09:21,573
Would you guys mind if
I borrowed Jess for a sec?
186
00:09:21,575 --> 00:09:23,633
Ah, you have one minute max.
187
00:09:23,635 --> 00:09:25,065
We have an orgy to get to.
188
00:09:25,067 --> 00:09:25,984
[Tom] Oh.
189
00:09:28,445 --> 00:09:30,495
I thought we were going to a dive bar.
190
00:09:31,854 --> 00:09:33,403
(laughs)
191
00:09:33,405 --> 00:09:34,993
[Charles] Well have
a good night, ladies.
192
00:09:34,995 --> 00:09:36,995
We'll see you down at the pub then, son.
193
00:09:40,385 --> 00:09:43,573
So, you guys look like you're
having a good time tonight.
194
00:09:43,575 --> 00:09:46,133
We are, are you?
195
00:09:46,135 --> 00:09:47,843
Why do you look so sober?
196
00:09:47,845 --> 00:09:50,323
'Cause I am, my boss called and I have
197
00:09:50,325 --> 00:09:52,303
to fly to Atlanta tomorrow morning.
198
00:09:52,305 --> 00:09:53,473
For how long?
199
00:09:53,475 --> 00:09:55,415
A couple days, maybe a week.
200
00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:59,093
No, I don't want you to go.
201
00:09:59,095 --> 00:10:02,323
And also I got a spider gag as a gift.
202
00:10:02,325 --> 00:10:03,725
I don't know what that is.
203
00:10:04,606 --> 00:10:06,380
Yeah, you do, we talked, you know the...
204
00:10:06,382 --> 00:10:07,715
- We did?
- Yeah.
205
00:10:09,895 --> 00:10:12,453
Oh.
(laughs)
206
00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:14,995
Okay then, I'm down.
207
00:10:18,665 --> 00:10:21,384
Can you at least come
say bye in the morning?
208
00:10:21,386 --> 00:10:24,104
[Tom] I will, I promise,
I'll check in in the morning.
209
00:10:24,106 --> 00:10:25,203
Okay?
210
00:10:25,205 --> 00:10:27,883
And listen, I want you to
have a really good time tonight
211
00:10:27,885 --> 00:10:31,393
and, go see some big boobs.
212
00:10:31,395 --> 00:10:33,353
It's not a bachelor party unless you get
213
00:10:33,355 --> 00:10:34,583
to see some big boobs.
214
00:10:34,585 --> 00:10:36,465
Then let me see your boobs.
215
00:10:37,982 --> 00:10:39,403
You need to get out more.
216
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,133
[Woman] Alright, break it up.
217
00:10:41,135 --> 00:10:42,523
Aw, I gotta go.
218
00:10:42,525 --> 00:10:44,413
Gotta go see some boobs.
219
00:10:44,415 --> 00:10:45,583
[Jess] Yeah, if I'm lucky.
220
00:10:45,585 --> 00:10:47,585
- Listen, I love you.
- I love you.
221
00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:53,065
- Go have fun.
- Okay.
222
00:10:53,067 --> 00:10:55,484
(rock music)
223
00:11:14,403 --> 00:11:15,931
[Woman] There she is.
224
00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:16,766
Hey.
225
00:11:17,855 --> 00:11:19,433
I'm so sorry I couldn't be here earlier.
226
00:11:19,435 --> 00:11:22,013
Mike sucks, I swear he can't (mumbles).
227
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,873
[Woman] I'm just glad that you're here
228
00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:25,613
and you're not pregnant.
229
00:11:25,615 --> 00:11:27,223
[Woman] You're not are you?
230
00:11:27,225 --> 00:11:30,713
God no, he keeps trying
but I just drove myself
231
00:11:30,715 --> 00:11:31,733
through birth controls pills.
232
00:11:31,735 --> 00:11:35,423
Tricking your husband into
lots of sex for no reason.
233
00:11:35,425 --> 00:11:37,607
- I like it.
- It's the only way.
234
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,483
Hey what can I get you ladies?
235
00:11:39,485 --> 00:11:41,365
Everyone or just me?
236
00:11:42,695 --> 00:11:44,993
Tray of tequila, ladies?
237
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,783
And a bunch of beer to wash it down.
238
00:11:46,785 --> 00:11:48,033
You got it, yeah.
239
00:11:48,035 --> 00:11:50,063
[Woman] Wow, this place.
240
00:11:50,065 --> 00:11:51,865
I actually have something for you.
241
00:11:54,729 --> 00:11:57,423
(gasps) Oh my god, I forgot about that.
242
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,513
[Holly] Consider the torch passed.
243
00:11:59,515 --> 00:12:00,348
What's that?
244
00:12:01,225 --> 00:12:02,973
It's a game that we've
been playing for years.
245
00:12:02,975 --> 00:12:04,663
It's called Hens Night.
246
00:12:04,665 --> 00:12:07,963
We've been adding to it, and
it's kind of our tradition.
247
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:09,515
It's kind of like dare cards.
248
00:12:12,005 --> 00:12:13,473
Who goes first?
249
00:12:13,475 --> 00:12:15,613
Do I have to play?
250
00:12:15,615 --> 00:12:17,756
Yes, but I'll go first.
251
00:12:17,758 --> 00:12:20,425
(ominous music)
252
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:28,043
Get the waiter's phone number, no problem.
253
00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:29,395
That says bartender.
254
00:12:30,985 --> 00:12:32,435
But I prefer the waiter.
255
00:12:33,597 --> 00:12:35,993
Alright, here we go everybody.
256
00:12:35,995 --> 00:12:38,111
Beers are on their way
and is there anything else
257
00:12:38,113 --> 00:12:40,171
I can get you guys?
258
00:12:40,173 --> 00:12:42,385
How about your phone number?
259
00:12:43,355 --> 00:12:47,223
My phone number, my god,
you think I'm that easy?
260
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,975
[Woman] I'm willing to bet on it.
261
00:12:50,525 --> 00:12:52,465
Damn you, all right.
262
00:12:53,675 --> 00:12:55,723
Oh do you want my name.
263
00:12:55,725 --> 00:12:56,558
Sure.
264
00:12:59,055 --> 00:13:01,080
- Here we go lovely.
- Thank you.
265
00:13:01,082 --> 00:13:03,203
You're welcome, sweetie.
266
00:13:03,205 --> 00:13:04,315
[Woman] Good job.
267
00:13:06,532 --> 00:13:09,095
No, I can't do it.
268
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,333
(laughs)
269
00:13:11,335 --> 00:13:12,285
I know that look.
270
00:13:13,355 --> 00:13:14,188
What's wrong?
271
00:13:15,585 --> 00:13:18,173
- Shitty name?
- Yep.
272
00:13:18,175 --> 00:13:19,565
It's Stacey.
273
00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:21,817
(laughing)
274
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:26,159
Task completed, Holly's next.
275
00:13:26,161 --> 00:13:29,123
(rock music)
276
00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:31,713
Take a shot every time
someone says something
277
00:13:31,715 --> 00:13:33,431
they hate about weddings.
278
00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:35,613
Oh my god, for the rest of the night.
279
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,775
Yes.
280
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,083
But since you have a lot
of catching up to do,
281
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:42,433
you have to take a shot
every time we mention
282
00:13:42,435 --> 00:13:45,083
something we hated about your wedding.
283
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:46,563
Oh well I'm gonna be sober
284
00:13:46,565 --> 00:13:48,685
'cause my wedding was amazing.
285
00:13:51,135 --> 00:13:52,835
Fucking doves.
286
00:13:55,049 --> 00:13:56,423
You bitch.
287
00:13:56,425 --> 00:13:58,203
You released doves?
288
00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,863
I'm afraid so.
289
00:13:59,865 --> 00:14:01,635
Oh I think that's really sweet.
290
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:06,372
Not as sweet as your
gropey Uncle Francis.
291
00:14:06,374 --> 00:14:07,541
Fair enough.
292
00:14:10,265 --> 00:14:12,023
Alright I'm gonna break the seal.
293
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:13,755
No more tasks until I get back.
294
00:14:18,735 --> 00:14:20,288
The queen has left the building.
295
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,373
(laughs)
296
00:14:23,545 --> 00:14:27,643
[Laura] This is so much fun,
thank you for inviting me.
297
00:14:27,645 --> 00:14:29,253
I'm really glad you're
having a good time.
298
00:14:29,255 --> 00:14:32,013
I am, like I never get
to do stuff like this,
299
00:14:32,015 --> 00:14:36,915
like fancy restaurants
and limo rides and...
300
00:14:38,165 --> 00:14:39,925
Fun games.
301
00:14:41,155 --> 00:14:44,685
I sort of wish I had friends
that would do this for me.
302
00:14:45,615 --> 00:14:47,865
Your friends aren't
doing anything for you?
303
00:14:49,065 --> 00:14:51,785
No, I don't actually have friends.
304
00:14:53,255 --> 00:14:54,613
That sucks.
305
00:14:54,615 --> 00:14:56,223
I'm so sorry.
306
00:14:56,225 --> 00:14:59,935
Oh it's okay, you know,
I keep myself busy with...
307
00:15:01,365 --> 00:15:06,015
Cooking and painting
ceramics and stuff like that.
308
00:15:12,915 --> 00:15:15,735
Maybe we could do something for you.
309
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:19,413
You'd throw me a bachelorette party?
310
00:15:19,415 --> 00:15:21,853
Yeah, I mean we could
figure something out.
311
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:24,955
Oh my god, this is so amazing.
312
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:27,583
We could have a total slumber party
313
00:15:27,585 --> 00:15:29,425
and everyone could come.
314
00:15:30,455 --> 00:15:33,065
I like always wanted to
have a slumber party.
315
00:15:35,925 --> 00:15:38,453
Yeah, that sounds like it could be fun.
316
00:15:38,455 --> 00:15:41,703
We could have cocktails
and talk all night
317
00:15:41,705 --> 00:15:44,555
and just have fun, you know,
like when we were kids.
318
00:15:45,895 --> 00:15:48,045
Yeah, like when we were kids, sure.
319
00:15:50,225 --> 00:15:53,113
You girls are so amazing,
like I'll make sure
320
00:15:53,115 --> 00:15:56,065
to have the whole place
cleaned for next Saturday.
321
00:15:57,955 --> 00:15:59,175
Next Saturday.
322
00:16:00,995 --> 00:16:03,625
Sorry, I'm busy next Saturday.
323
00:16:04,821 --> 00:16:06,413
Oh.
324
00:16:06,415 --> 00:16:09,393
I don't know, Laura, next
week's the only weekend
325
00:16:09,395 --> 00:16:10,813
I have left before the wedding,
326
00:16:10,815 --> 00:16:13,015
and there's so much to do.
327
00:16:13,975 --> 00:16:16,123
Oh but it has to be next Saturday,
328
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:17,725
I get married on Sunday.
329
00:16:19,625 --> 00:16:20,863
What?
330
00:16:20,865 --> 00:16:21,895
This Sunday.
331
00:16:23,255 --> 00:16:25,833
So you're getting married
the weekend before me
332
00:16:25,835 --> 00:16:28,983
and this is the first
I've heard about this?
333
00:16:28,985 --> 00:16:33,623
It was kind of the only
weekend that worked for Peter
334
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,283
and he's always traveling.
335
00:16:36,285 --> 00:16:37,515
Was I even invited?
336
00:16:38,935 --> 00:16:41,673
Peter kind of wanted to keep it small.
337
00:16:41,675 --> 00:16:43,183
But you know this would be great,
338
00:16:43,185 --> 00:16:45,473
it would be even better
'cause then you guys
339
00:16:45,475 --> 00:16:48,573
could come for the slumber
party and then stay
340
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:49,485
for the wedding.
341
00:16:52,605 --> 00:16:56,265
It would really mean a lot
for me if you were there.
342
00:17:02,515 --> 00:17:06,313
Um, well then we'll go up there
343
00:17:06,315 --> 00:17:10,051
and we'll throw you the
best bachelorette party
344
00:17:10,053 --> 00:17:12,275
anyone has ever had.
345
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:15,533
I'm so excited, I can't wait for this!
346
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:20,143
This is gonna be so much fun,
I'm so happy, I'm so happy.
347
00:17:20,145 --> 00:17:21,573
I can't wait.
348
00:17:21,575 --> 00:17:23,083
What's everyone so excited about?
349
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,443
[Laura] About the slumber party
350
00:17:24,445 --> 00:17:25,945
we're gonna have next weekend.
351
00:17:27,325 --> 00:17:29,273
What the fuck is she talking about?
352
00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:31,015
We'll talk later.
353
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:32,515
Okay my turn.
354
00:17:35,935 --> 00:17:39,095
Give another hen a sexy lap dance.
355
00:17:41,035 --> 00:17:42,825
- You down?
- Oh I'm down.
356
00:17:45,475 --> 00:17:48,191
So what the hell
happened while I was gone?
357
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:50,610
(rock music)
358
00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:59,234
(sensual music)
359
00:18:07,388 --> 00:18:12,002
♪ And I wish she could
see me as others do ♪
360
00:18:12,004 --> 00:18:16,948
♪ I wish you could be me and love it too ♪
361
00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:21,729
♪ I'm not over the answer you gave to me ♪
362
00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:26,731
♪ It's not over until we want it to be ♪
363
00:18:29,197 --> 00:18:33,758
♪ Until we want it to be ♪
364
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,925
♪ It's like I love myself ♪
365
00:18:36,927 --> 00:18:39,177
(cheering)
366
00:18:43,532 --> 00:18:48,532
♪ It's like I love myself ♪
367
00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:53,160
♪ More than I love you baby ♪
368
00:18:53,162 --> 00:18:58,162
♪ It's like I love myself ♪
369
00:19:00,708 --> 00:19:05,394
♪ And I want you to be
like I never could ♪
370
00:19:05,396 --> 00:19:10,222
♪ It's not the easiest
dream, something good ♪
371
00:19:10,224 --> 00:19:13,392
♪ I'm not out of the darkness ♪
372
00:19:13,394 --> 00:19:14,561
- Yeah.
- Nice.
373
00:19:15,398 --> 00:19:17,065
- Take it off.
- Woo!
374
00:19:22,308 --> 00:19:27,067
♪ When something's fine ♪
375
00:19:27,069 --> 00:19:32,040
♪ It's like I love myself ♪
376
00:19:32,042 --> 00:19:34,122
♪ More than I love you ♪
377
00:19:34,124 --> 00:19:36,796
- (cheering)
- Go girl!
378
00:19:36,798 --> 00:19:41,563
♪ It's like I love myself ♪
379
00:19:41,565 --> 00:19:46,435
♪ More than I love you baby ♪
380
00:19:46,437 --> 00:19:49,937
♪ It's like I love myself ♪
381
00:19:57,928 --> 00:20:00,178
(cheering)
382
00:20:13,775 --> 00:20:15,563
I'm no expert but I don't think
383
00:20:15,565 --> 00:20:17,605
that whole dance was necessary.
384
00:20:18,835 --> 00:20:21,555
But you know, Jess has
always loved the attention.
385
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:26,271
(laughing)
386
00:20:26,273 --> 00:20:29,215
Ah, nice seeing exes getting along.
387
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,445
Exes?
388
00:20:32,435 --> 00:20:33,268
This is gold.
389
00:20:34,315 --> 00:20:37,073
Laura, you didn't know
your cousin was a lesbian?
390
00:20:37,075 --> 00:20:38,445
I wasn't a lesbian.
391
00:20:39,465 --> 00:20:40,893
I'm a lesbian.
392
00:20:40,895 --> 00:20:41,728
See.
393
00:20:42,635 --> 00:20:45,933
We had a brief fling
when we were younger.
394
00:20:45,935 --> 00:20:47,793
You loved it.
395
00:20:47,795 --> 00:20:50,985
Okay I'm not a lesbian,
but I test drove one.
396
00:20:52,025 --> 00:20:54,965
Then she went back to dick, for shame.
397
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:58,753
Expensive gift registry.
398
00:20:58,755 --> 00:20:59,945
What the fuck?
399
00:21:03,651 --> 00:21:06,556
I couldn't even tell
that you were a lesbo.
400
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:09,558
- Thank you, Laura.
- You're welcome.
401
00:21:12,525 --> 00:21:14,723
[Woman] Laurie, you ready for your turn?
402
00:21:14,725 --> 00:21:16,245
Yeah, actually this is fun.
403
00:21:17,259 --> 00:21:19,926
(ominous music)
404
00:21:21,835 --> 00:21:25,553
Ask a guy or a girl in the bar to dance.
405
00:21:25,555 --> 00:21:26,388
Oh!
406
00:21:27,332 --> 00:21:28,993
Who are you gonna ask?
407
00:21:28,995 --> 00:21:30,643
[Holly] What about the
hottie in the black shirt,
408
00:21:30,645 --> 00:21:31,478
he's really hot.
409
00:21:32,545 --> 00:21:34,695
You are drunk, he's clearly (mumbles).
410
00:21:35,924 --> 00:21:37,623
(laughing)
411
00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:40,143
Oh what about the waiter?
412
00:21:40,145 --> 00:21:44,307
Ew, no, no one wants your leftover.
413
00:21:44,309 --> 00:21:45,726
What about him?
414
00:21:48,762 --> 00:21:50,281
[Jess] Oh nice, do it.
415
00:21:50,283 --> 00:21:52,045
Yeah, get over there before I do.
416
00:21:53,155 --> 00:21:54,635
But what do I say?
417
00:21:55,665 --> 00:21:58,263
Simple, just introduce yourself,
418
00:21:58,265 --> 00:22:01,915
give him a compliment and
then you two can get busy.
419
00:22:01,917 --> 00:22:05,263
What! No!
(laughing)
420
00:22:05,265 --> 00:22:10,005
It's true, men like
their big fat ego stroked.
421
00:22:11,255 --> 00:22:12,953
'Kay, I'll give it a shot.
422
00:22:12,955 --> 00:22:16,715
Yeah, go, you look amazing.
423
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:18,905
(laughing)
Whoops.
424
00:22:25,776 --> 00:22:27,913
Oh my god, she actually
looks like she's having fun
425
00:22:27,915 --> 00:22:31,214
in her own little weird
unicorn loving way.
426
00:22:31,216 --> 00:22:34,315
I know, I can't believe she's
actually playing the game.
427
00:22:39,155 --> 00:22:41,507
- Excuse me.
- Hi.
428
00:22:41,509 --> 00:22:43,403
(laughs) Hi.
429
00:22:43,405 --> 00:22:45,356
You look really good.
430
00:22:45,358 --> 00:22:46,191
I'm sorry?
431
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,813
I really like your hair.
432
00:22:51,815 --> 00:22:54,372
Oh thank you, it sort of grew that way.
433
00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:56,485
(giggles) That's funny.
434
00:22:59,659 --> 00:23:02,535
Do you, do you want to dance?
435
00:23:03,515 --> 00:23:06,605
Um, I don't think I've had
enough to drink for that yet.
436
00:23:08,175 --> 00:23:09,475
Oh, we could drink more?
437
00:23:11,295 --> 00:23:14,653
Actually, do you think
you could introduce me
438
00:23:14,655 --> 00:23:17,063
to that red head at your
table that was doing
439
00:23:17,065 --> 00:23:19,955
that sort of sexy dance?
440
00:23:21,177 --> 00:23:22,525
I think I'm ready for her.
441
00:23:29,065 --> 00:23:30,545
Um, Kim.
442
00:23:33,595 --> 00:23:34,428
Fuck!
443
00:23:36,155 --> 00:23:38,535
Ah man, I'm gonna go with her.
444
00:23:38,537 --> 00:23:41,204
(Laura weeping)
445
00:23:43,735 --> 00:23:44,723
What the fuck?
446
00:23:44,725 --> 00:23:48,775
I have never been so
humiliated in all my life.
447
00:23:50,775 --> 00:23:52,495
What happened?
448
00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:58,393
Apparently he liked your slutty dance.
449
00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:01,253
What, fuck that guy, he's an asshole.
450
00:24:01,255 --> 00:24:03,875
He's not the problem,
you're the problem.
451
00:24:04,925 --> 00:24:05,865
Excuse me?
452
00:24:08,665 --> 00:24:10,553
Oh, Kim, hi.
453
00:24:10,555 --> 00:24:12,053
What the fuck are you doing here?
454
00:24:12,055 --> 00:24:14,473
I'm having drinks with my friends.
455
00:24:14,475 --> 00:24:16,193
Yeah, that's pretty fucking convenient.
456
00:24:16,195 --> 00:24:17,503
I didn't know you were here.
457
00:24:17,505 --> 00:24:19,483
Don't bullshit me.
458
00:24:19,485 --> 00:24:22,493
You mean to tell me you didn't
notice the dirty dancing bit?
459
00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:24,863
I saw that, but before
that, I swear to god
460
00:24:24,865 --> 00:24:26,863
I had no clues you were here.
461
00:24:26,865 --> 00:24:28,725
Your friend here's a real creep.
462
00:24:30,625 --> 00:24:32,973
Roger, if you don't stop stalking me,
463
00:24:32,975 --> 00:24:34,575
I'm gonna call the fucking cops.
464
00:24:38,725 --> 00:24:40,135
It's all your fault.
465
00:24:41,005 --> 00:24:44,383
You ruined my dare because
you need attention from men!
466
00:24:44,385 --> 00:24:46,935
What the fuck, don't make this about me.
467
00:24:46,937 --> 00:24:50,613
It is about you, it's
always been about you
468
00:24:50,615 --> 00:24:52,032
our entire lives!
469
00:24:54,195 --> 00:24:58,453
I'm fucking sick of your
bullshit jealousy, okay?
470
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:00,918
It stops now, why do you
think I stopped talking
471
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,087
to you in the first place?
472
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,513
I don't know what a great guy like Tom
473
00:25:07,515 --> 00:25:09,415
sees in a whore like you.
474
00:25:11,645 --> 00:25:12,478
Whore.
475
00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:17,573
That's nice and um, what does your fiance
476
00:25:17,575 --> 00:25:19,983
see in you exactly?
477
00:25:19,985 --> 00:25:22,525
He loves me the way
that you'll never know!
478
00:25:24,825 --> 00:25:26,545
You'll never have what I have.
479
00:25:33,605 --> 00:25:36,175
- I'm gonna go.
- Yeah.
480
00:25:39,465 --> 00:25:41,265
Thank you so much for inviting me.
481
00:25:49,235 --> 00:25:50,235
Where's she going?
482
00:25:51,225 --> 00:25:52,345
Where are you going?
483
00:25:53,966 --> 00:25:55,493
What the hell happened?
484
00:25:55,495 --> 00:25:57,143
Family squabble.
485
00:25:57,145 --> 00:25:59,175
Every fucking time I leave the table.
486
00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:06,123
That fucking bitch.
487
00:26:06,125 --> 00:26:08,675
Where does she get the
nerve, this is your night.
488
00:26:09,849 --> 00:26:10,983
It's okay.
489
00:26:10,985 --> 00:26:15,263
[Laura] No it's not okay, selfish cunt!
490
00:26:15,265 --> 00:26:17,123
Please don't say that word.
491
00:26:17,125 --> 00:26:19,203
I'm sorry, but I'm really pissed
492
00:26:19,205 --> 00:26:22,453
and it seemed like the
only appropriate word.
493
00:26:22,455 --> 00:26:25,923
I just, I have so little family left
494
00:26:25,925 --> 00:26:28,805
that I thought if she
came it would be good.
495
00:26:30,855 --> 00:26:35,075
I'm just so sick of tip toeing around her.
496
00:26:36,702 --> 00:26:39,165
You're a good person,
much better than me.
497
00:26:40,395 --> 00:26:42,100
You're not the problem here for once.
498
00:26:42,102 --> 00:26:44,185
(laughs)
499
00:26:46,155 --> 00:26:48,845
We've been through weirder
and worse shit together.
500
00:26:49,805 --> 00:26:52,443
I say we fix up your make up,
501
00:26:52,445 --> 00:26:55,823
hike up that skirt,
make yourself look good,
502
00:26:55,825 --> 00:26:59,545
and let's celebrate your last
night of freedom in style.
503
00:27:00,585 --> 00:27:02,535
- Alright.
- Let's go party and dance.
504
00:27:06,689 --> 00:27:10,232
♪ Knock me out ♪
505
00:27:10,234 --> 00:27:14,890
♪ Before we go ♪
506
00:27:14,892 --> 00:27:19,892
♪ Fill my glass, I'm on a roll ♪
507
00:27:22,655 --> 00:27:27,655
♪ I'm on a roll ♪
508
00:27:31,697 --> 00:27:36,697
♪ These times we have, they're justified ♪
509
00:27:39,429 --> 00:27:44,429
♪ For just tonight ♪
510
00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:53,583
♪ Draw a line down, say what I need ♪
511
00:27:55,714 --> 00:27:59,702
♪ I wanna dance, cry, dance ♪
512
00:27:59,704 --> 00:28:03,095
♪ I wanna dance, cry, dance ♪
513
00:28:03,097 --> 00:28:06,984
♪ And forget the shit that I can't stand ♪
514
00:28:06,986 --> 00:28:11,986
♪ I wanna leave it at the door ♪
515
00:28:12,198 --> 00:28:15,434
♪ I wanna dance, cry, dance ♪
516
00:28:15,436 --> 00:28:19,437
♪ I'm gonna do it 'til
the whole world ends ♪
517
00:28:19,439 --> 00:28:23,727
♪ As all the tragedies
that I can't stand ♪
518
00:28:23,729 --> 00:28:27,812
♪ Don't wanna face them any more ♪
519
00:28:35,093 --> 00:28:37,533
(gagging)
520
00:28:37,535 --> 00:28:39,785
(coughing)
521
00:28:44,235 --> 00:28:46,835
That tasted so much better going down.
522
00:28:49,243 --> 00:28:51,999
Here you go.
523
00:28:52,001 --> 00:28:53,001
Thank you.
524
00:28:55,385 --> 00:28:58,445
How are you not sick, you
drank more than I did.
525
00:28:59,405 --> 00:29:01,633
That's because you're a light weight.
526
00:29:01,635 --> 00:29:03,895
I'm a fucking drinking sensei.
527
00:29:05,665 --> 00:29:08,043
I used to be a sensei.
528
00:29:08,045 --> 00:29:10,265
You did used to be a sensei.
529
00:29:11,425 --> 00:29:12,815
You were one of the best.
530
00:29:15,665 --> 00:29:17,205
I'm sad.
531
00:29:19,015 --> 00:29:22,233
You and your big, stupid, fat heart.
532
00:29:22,235 --> 00:29:24,803
You care too much.
533
00:29:24,805 --> 00:29:28,793
I care about you.
534
00:29:28,795 --> 00:29:30,355
You better care about me.
535
00:29:31,355 --> 00:29:36,355
I rent you a fucking limo,
put up with your crazy cousin.
536
00:29:36,435 --> 00:29:37,266
Mm-hm.
537
00:29:37,268 --> 00:29:40,101
(easygoing music)
538
00:29:46,723 --> 00:29:47,640
I love you.
539
00:29:48,525 --> 00:29:49,942
I love you too.
540
00:30:55,328 --> 00:30:56,863
(groaning)
541
00:30:56,865 --> 00:30:58,263
Finally.
542
00:30:58,265 --> 00:30:59,843
You gonna shut up now?
543
00:30:59,845 --> 00:31:01,045
Not another peep.
544
00:31:04,865 --> 00:31:06,493
How far are we?
545
00:31:06,495 --> 00:31:08,043
I'm not even sure we're
going the right way.
546
00:31:08,045 --> 00:31:09,173
We're going the right way.
547
00:31:09,175 --> 00:31:10,006
You sure?
548
00:31:10,008 --> 00:31:12,893
Yes I'm sure, trust me, I've
been here a million times.
549
00:31:12,895 --> 00:31:14,633
[Kim] Not since puberty.
550
00:31:14,635 --> 00:31:17,155
Less talking, more peeing.
551
00:31:29,825 --> 00:31:31,525
No, what if I get pulled over?
552
00:31:32,505 --> 00:31:34,943
Come on, Mrs. Paul, live on the edge.
553
00:31:34,945 --> 00:31:36,613
No one patrols out here.
554
00:31:36,615 --> 00:31:38,773
Stop being judgey.
555
00:31:38,775 --> 00:31:40,375
You are such an old (mumbles).
556
00:31:42,677 --> 00:31:44,825
Plus no one said you had
to drink the whole bottle.
557
00:31:46,035 --> 00:31:47,765
I need the liquid courage.
558
00:31:49,152 --> 00:31:51,152
[Kim] Then why are we even doing this?
559
00:31:53,055 --> 00:31:54,495
Because we said we would.
560
00:31:55,535 --> 00:31:58,133
That was before she
went all she-Hulk on you.
561
00:31:58,135 --> 00:32:00,203
Doesn't that like void
any contract you may
562
00:32:00,205 --> 00:32:01,403
have had with her?
563
00:32:01,405 --> 00:32:03,795
Yeah, I'm with Kim on this one.
564
00:32:03,797 --> 00:32:05,783
We already talked about this.
565
00:32:05,785 --> 00:32:07,533
[Laura] Hi Jess, it's Laura.
566
00:32:07,535 --> 00:32:09,533
Just wanted to say I had such a great time
567
00:32:09,535 --> 00:32:12,030
last weekend and I hope you guys know that
568
00:32:12,032 --> 00:32:13,833
you know next weekend we're gonna have
569
00:32:13,835 --> 00:32:15,583
a super great time, don't bring anything.
570
00:32:15,585 --> 00:32:17,333
I have everything prepared for us,
571
00:32:17,335 --> 00:32:19,035
so I'll see you soon, bye.
572
00:32:20,805 --> 00:32:24,193
Wow it's almost like nothing happened.
573
00:32:24,195 --> 00:32:25,905
Because she's insane.
574
00:32:27,325 --> 00:32:28,585
In the membrane.
575
00:32:30,795 --> 00:32:31,825
Come on, you guys.
576
00:32:37,445 --> 00:32:39,173
So do we have to stay the whole time
577
00:32:39,175 --> 00:32:41,993
for you to make good on the pot and booze?
578
00:32:41,995 --> 00:32:44,413
Fuck that, I say she forks it over now.
579
00:32:44,415 --> 00:32:45,763
We'll need it.
580
00:32:45,765 --> 00:32:46,783
How bad could it be?
581
00:32:46,785 --> 00:32:50,253
We put cucumber slices on
our eyes and mud on our face.
582
00:32:50,255 --> 00:32:52,323
And we talk about our hopes and dreams
583
00:32:52,325 --> 00:32:54,443
and then we have a tickle fight.
584
00:32:54,445 --> 00:32:56,321
So down for a tickle fight.
585
00:32:56,323 --> 00:32:57,773
(laughs)
586
00:32:57,775 --> 00:33:00,714
No seriously guys I know
the way this is gonna end.
587
00:33:00,716 --> 00:33:03,375
It always ends the same with Laura.
588
00:33:08,355 --> 00:33:11,585
Can we have a sleepover at your house?
589
00:33:11,587 --> 00:33:14,195
Okay sure I'll go ask my mom.
590
00:33:17,465 --> 00:33:20,823
And just when we started
to have normal kid fun.
591
00:33:20,825 --> 00:33:22,726
So how bad was your report card?
592
00:33:22,728 --> 00:33:25,021
(scoffs) Bad.
593
00:33:25,023 --> 00:33:27,795
- Mine was good.
- That's good Laura.
594
00:33:31,578 --> 00:33:33,363
- I'm all...
- Here, all done Jessie.
595
00:33:33,365 --> 00:33:35,135
Aw, thanks.
596
00:33:37,305 --> 00:33:38,973
I'm going home!
597
00:33:38,975 --> 00:33:39,843
[Jessie] No.
598
00:33:39,845 --> 00:33:41,735
I said I'm going home!
599
00:33:44,275 --> 00:33:46,275
(sighs)
600
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:52,013
I doubt she'll be calling her mom
601
00:33:52,015 --> 00:33:53,495
to come pick her up tonight.
602
00:33:54,545 --> 00:33:55,785
Well her mom's dead.
603
00:33:57,425 --> 00:33:58,375
That'd be creepy.
604
00:33:59,405 --> 00:34:02,543
If my zombie aunt shows up
at the cottage this weekend,
605
00:34:02,545 --> 00:34:03,615
it'll be a success.
606
00:34:05,395 --> 00:34:08,208
One weekend, how bad could it be?
607
00:34:08,210 --> 00:34:11,960
[Kim] We need the
booze and drugs up front.
608
00:34:19,964 --> 00:34:22,464
(eerie music)
609
00:34:57,406 --> 00:34:59,853
(knocking)
610
00:34:59,855 --> 00:35:00,688
Laura?
611
00:35:11,845 --> 00:35:12,678
Laura?
612
00:35:23,755 --> 00:35:26,023
[Woman] This place is kind of cute.
613
00:35:26,025 --> 00:35:27,175
[Woman] (mumbles) is shit.
614
00:35:31,797 --> 00:35:32,630
Laura?
615
00:35:36,020 --> 00:35:38,270
(clunking)
616
00:36:15,919 --> 00:36:16,752
Jess!
617
00:36:20,115 --> 00:36:21,373
Hey.
618
00:36:21,375 --> 00:36:23,055
So good to see you.
619
00:36:24,635 --> 00:36:25,893
Is it?
620
00:36:25,895 --> 00:36:27,925
Of course it is, I'm...
621
00:36:29,105 --> 00:36:32,753
I'm just so thankful
that you know you came
622
00:36:32,755 --> 00:36:34,405
and you brought your friends.
623
00:36:35,395 --> 00:36:37,513
Well I brought Kim, so.
624
00:36:37,515 --> 00:36:41,145
Well I'm sure she has a
few redeeming qualities.
625
00:36:43,245 --> 00:36:44,078
Listen.
626
00:36:45,165 --> 00:36:46,053
About last time...
627
00:36:46,055 --> 00:36:48,863
Oh, let's not talk about it, Jess, okay.
628
00:36:48,865 --> 00:36:51,143
I just wanna have a good time this weekend
629
00:36:51,145 --> 00:36:53,045
and I'm really, really sorry.
630
00:36:53,975 --> 00:36:58,435
Come on, I'm just happy that
my family is here with me.
631
00:37:04,885 --> 00:37:05,785
Should we go in?
632
00:37:07,915 --> 00:37:09,965
Yeah I really wanna see everyone.
633
00:37:23,425 --> 00:37:25,083
Hi ladies.
634
00:37:25,085 --> 00:37:27,865
Oh hi Laura, you two good?
635
00:37:28,778 --> 00:37:30,005
Of course we're good.
636
00:37:33,065 --> 00:37:33,898
We're good.
637
00:37:35,235 --> 00:37:37,245
Okay I'm gonna make some drinks.
638
00:37:39,611 --> 00:37:42,278
(ominous music)
639
00:37:45,095 --> 00:37:47,163
This is a really nice cottage, Laura.
640
00:37:47,165 --> 00:37:49,003
Do you stay here all summer?
641
00:37:49,005 --> 00:37:51,375
Yeah, yeah, well
actually all year round.
642
00:37:52,475 --> 00:37:55,803
You must have to commute
pretty far, what do you do?
643
00:37:55,805 --> 00:37:57,155
Yeah, I don't have a job.
644
00:37:58,025 --> 00:38:00,418
I have a lot of health problems.
645
00:38:00,420 --> 00:38:05,273
My interstitial cystitis that's
what keeps me home mostly.
646
00:38:05,275 --> 00:38:06,633
Huh?
647
00:38:06,635 --> 00:38:09,243
It's a disease that causes discomfort
648
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,545
in and around the bladder.
649
00:38:13,235 --> 00:38:14,068
I'm a nurse.
650
00:38:15,625 --> 00:38:17,223
You're a nurse?
651
00:38:17,225 --> 00:38:19,695
Wow, I would've liked to be a nurse.
652
00:38:21,945 --> 00:38:25,653
So tell us about your
fiance, what's he like?
653
00:38:25,655 --> 00:38:29,633
Oh he's cute, really funny, very nice.
654
00:38:29,635 --> 00:38:32,065
He makes you feel comfortable right away.
655
00:38:33,075 --> 00:38:34,325
Can't wait to meet him.
656
00:38:35,442 --> 00:38:39,463
Oh I'm just a little sad though.
657
00:38:39,465 --> 00:38:41,963
Yeah, like we won't be able
to have our first dance
658
00:38:41,965 --> 00:38:44,803
for awhile, he had this accident
659
00:38:44,805 --> 00:38:47,223
and he broke both his knees.
660
00:38:47,225 --> 00:38:51,513
Holy shit, Laura, that's like
a long, long recovery time.
661
00:38:51,515 --> 00:38:54,413
I know and that's what I told him.
662
00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:57,603
But he loves me and he just
wants to get married right away.
663
00:38:57,605 --> 00:38:58,438
Wow.
664
00:38:59,885 --> 00:39:01,843
Yeah, he loves me a lot.
665
00:39:01,845 --> 00:39:03,853
Yeah, it sounds like it.
666
00:39:03,855 --> 00:39:05,313
You know, this knee thing,
667
00:39:05,315 --> 00:39:06,833
could really ruin your sex life.
668
00:39:06,835 --> 00:39:08,353
[Woman] Kim!
669
00:39:08,355 --> 00:39:09,903
What, it's true.
670
00:39:09,905 --> 00:39:10,993
I mean there's not much that you can do
671
00:39:10,995 --> 00:39:12,263
with a guy with broken knees
672
00:39:12,265 --> 00:39:16,205
like blowjobs or hand
jobs, but that's about it.
673
00:39:17,455 --> 00:39:19,025
I like blowjobs.
674
00:39:23,055 --> 00:39:24,245
Cheers.
675
00:39:28,305 --> 00:39:30,973
So, um...
676
00:39:30,975 --> 00:39:34,326
This wedding tomorrow, you
gonna have an open bar?
677
00:39:34,328 --> 00:39:35,161
Hm?
678
00:39:36,465 --> 00:39:38,733
Your wedding tomorrow.
679
00:39:38,735 --> 00:39:40,955
Oh yeah, there'll be drinks.
680
00:39:42,015 --> 00:39:46,593
Awesome 'cause I know someone
who's cheaping out on us.
681
00:39:46,595 --> 00:39:49,633
I'm sorry, weddings are expensive.
682
00:39:49,635 --> 00:39:52,273
Don't worry, it's my
job as maid of honor
683
00:39:52,275 --> 00:39:55,023
to make sure that you have a
drink in your hand all night.
684
00:39:55,025 --> 00:39:57,213
So I'll bring my own supply.
685
00:39:57,215 --> 00:39:58,565
Kim's your maid of honor?
686
00:40:01,935 --> 00:40:04,093
Yeah, we've been friends
since we were little.
687
00:40:04,095 --> 00:40:05,135
You know this.
688
00:40:06,875 --> 00:40:09,993
No, that makes sense.
689
00:40:09,995 --> 00:40:11,595
I mean she's almost like family.
690
00:40:14,411 --> 00:40:16,578
I'm gonna go get the food.
691
00:40:25,962 --> 00:40:28,462
(eerie music)
692
00:40:42,041 --> 00:40:43,752
(gasps)
693
00:40:43,754 --> 00:40:48,293
Wow, you guys didn't
have to do this for me.
694
00:40:48,295 --> 00:40:49,865
It's so nice.
695
00:40:49,867 --> 00:40:50,965
Of course we did.
696
00:40:52,265 --> 00:40:54,373
Every girl who gets married
has to get some sort
697
00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:55,685
of special gifts.
698
00:40:57,085 --> 00:40:59,733
See, what if I never get married?
699
00:40:59,735 --> 00:41:01,833
You know I never get one
of those good for you
700
00:41:01,835 --> 00:41:04,205
for being awesome and single gifts.
701
00:41:06,415 --> 00:41:07,925
Consider this a gift.
702
00:41:12,395 --> 00:41:15,863
No but seriously, I
spend thousands of dollars
703
00:41:15,865 --> 00:41:19,372
every year on weddings, baby showers,
704
00:41:19,374 --> 00:41:22,965
birthdays and a whole pile of other shit.
705
00:41:23,825 --> 00:41:25,825
You know, what if I never do that stuff?
706
00:41:26,695 --> 00:41:29,445
You know, who's gonna spend
thousands of dollars on me?
707
00:41:30,685 --> 00:41:32,213
What do I get?
708
00:41:32,215 --> 00:41:33,465
Peace and quiet?
709
00:41:35,782 --> 00:41:36,613
Nice.
710
00:41:36,615 --> 00:41:38,823
There's no way you've
ever been to a baby shower.
711
00:41:38,825 --> 00:41:41,523
Yes I have.
712
00:41:41,525 --> 00:41:43,883
I love those little church lady
713
00:41:43,885 --> 00:41:45,533
sandwiches, they're delicious.
714
00:41:45,535 --> 00:41:48,115
Okay, time to open presents.
715
00:41:53,175 --> 00:41:55,585
This one is from Sarah and I.
716
00:42:05,805 --> 00:42:07,803
Is this a dildo?
717
00:42:07,805 --> 00:42:10,203
Yeah, every girl's best friend.
718
00:42:10,205 --> 00:42:11,443
Even you?
719
00:42:11,445 --> 00:42:12,605
Especially me.
720
00:42:13,835 --> 00:42:16,763
Whoa I've never had one of these.
721
00:42:16,765 --> 00:42:19,033
It works the same way
as the regular kind.
722
00:42:19,035 --> 00:42:21,863
Just no emotions or sweat.
723
00:42:21,865 --> 00:42:26,503
And tears, oh my god, that reminds me,
724
00:42:26,505 --> 00:42:29,863
Roger came to work on Monday
and he was bitching at me
725
00:42:29,865 --> 00:42:31,655
about how I humiliated him.
726
00:42:33,395 --> 00:42:36,723
I had to call security and
then he never came back.
727
00:42:36,725 --> 00:42:38,135
So you got him fired?
728
00:42:39,465 --> 00:42:41,415
I'm pretty sure he got himself fired.
729
00:42:43,665 --> 00:42:46,173
Wow, thanks you guys, thanks.
730
00:42:46,175 --> 00:42:47,923
This will come in really handy, you know,
731
00:42:47,925 --> 00:42:49,605
while Peter's knees heal.
732
00:42:51,325 --> 00:42:52,525
[Kim] That one's mine.
733
00:42:55,485 --> 00:42:56,355
Thanks Kim.
734
00:43:04,015 --> 00:43:04,932
Oh, thanks.
735
00:43:07,635 --> 00:43:08,468
So much.
736
00:43:16,055 --> 00:43:16,957
What is this?
737
00:43:16,959 --> 00:43:18,433
(giggles)
738
00:43:18,435 --> 00:43:20,343
[Woman] It's a gag ball.
739
00:43:20,345 --> 00:43:21,905
What do I use it for?
740
00:43:23,095 --> 00:43:26,173
That's to keep yourself
and your man quiet
741
00:43:26,175 --> 00:43:28,543
in case you wanna get a little rough.
742
00:43:28,545 --> 00:43:31,323
Hmm, thanks.
743
00:43:31,325 --> 00:43:33,263
Kind of scared to open the next gift.
744
00:43:33,265 --> 00:43:35,075
No it's okay, just open it.
745
00:43:43,885 --> 00:43:45,193
What's this for?
746
00:43:45,195 --> 00:43:48,303
Oh it's just a silly
little bachelorette tiara.
747
00:43:48,305 --> 00:43:51,135
- Aw, thanks.
- There's more.
748
00:43:57,655 --> 00:44:01,953
Wow, it's really,
really pretty, I love it.
749
00:44:01,955 --> 00:44:05,673
Good, I had to kind of guess your size,
750
00:44:05,675 --> 00:44:06,923
so I hope it fits.
751
00:44:06,925 --> 00:44:11,185
Aw, thank you, thank
you guys all so much.
752
00:44:12,845 --> 00:44:14,983
Do you not like your food?
753
00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:16,963
You haven't touched anything.
754
00:44:16,965 --> 00:44:19,073
No, I'm not super hungry right now.
755
00:44:19,075 --> 00:44:24,075
Oh, how about we put on our PJs?
756
00:44:24,375 --> 00:44:26,435
I'm gonna go try on my new nightgown.
757
00:44:31,145 --> 00:44:32,825
Someone can change in there.
758
00:44:37,346 --> 00:44:39,429
Well this isn't so bad.
759
00:44:44,913 --> 00:44:47,580
(ominous music)
760
00:45:45,178 --> 00:45:47,345
(gagging)
761
00:45:55,467 --> 00:45:58,050
(gentle music)
762
00:46:09,317 --> 00:46:11,567
(coughing)
763
00:46:27,395 --> 00:46:28,228
Thanks.
764
00:46:29,785 --> 00:46:31,985
I just want you to
know how grateful I am.
765
00:46:33,875 --> 00:46:37,863
I just really wanted to be
here for your special day.
766
00:46:37,865 --> 00:46:41,235
It's gonna be the most
special day ever, you'll see.
767
00:46:44,272 --> 00:46:45,105
Cheers.
768
00:47:05,985 --> 00:47:06,935
You feeling okay?
769
00:47:10,915 --> 00:47:12,515
This weekend is so fucked up.
770
00:47:14,945 --> 00:47:15,778
Yep.
771
00:47:22,345 --> 00:47:23,845
She seems like she's trying.
772
00:47:25,855 --> 00:47:28,105
I know, it's creeping me the fuck out.
773
00:47:29,845 --> 00:47:32,585
It's unnatural behavior for her.
774
00:47:37,475 --> 00:47:41,833
Maybe me losing it on her
had some kind of effect.
775
00:47:41,835 --> 00:47:44,125
[Kim] I am so sad I missed that.
776
00:47:48,190 --> 00:47:49,625
It wasn't pretty.
777
00:47:52,965 --> 00:47:53,915
I'm proud of you.
778
00:47:56,995 --> 00:47:57,885
Thanks.
779
00:47:57,887 --> 00:48:02,736
(eerie rock music)
(crunching)
780
00:48:02,738 --> 00:48:04,988
(clunking)
781
00:48:25,704 --> 00:48:28,871
(footsteps crunching)
782
00:48:41,811 --> 00:48:44,811
(crickets chirping)
783
00:48:58,461 --> 00:48:59,865
(groaning)
784
00:48:59,867 --> 00:49:02,534
(ominous music)
785
00:49:10,121 --> 00:49:12,371
(garbling)
786
00:49:43,815 --> 00:49:44,917
Hey ladies.
787
00:49:44,919 --> 00:49:47,252
(shrieking)
788
00:49:50,135 --> 00:49:52,098
Oh hush, calm down.
789
00:49:52,100 --> 00:49:53,515
You'll only hurt yourselves.
790
00:49:58,985 --> 00:50:02,533
Oh Kim.
791
00:50:02,535 --> 00:50:05,165
Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim!
792
00:50:06,635 --> 00:50:09,165
Sucks to have no control, doesn't it?
793
00:50:12,925 --> 00:50:16,205
Well no need to worry,
I'm not gonna hurt you.
794
00:50:18,729 --> 00:50:23,053
(plate clunking)
(shrieking)
795
00:50:23,055 --> 00:50:27,195
I just wanna have a
little fun, that's all.
796
00:50:29,275 --> 00:50:34,275
I thought we could play this
Hens Night game of yours.
797
00:50:34,345 --> 00:50:36,485
New jar, new tasks.
798
00:50:41,385 --> 00:50:43,585
There's a special one
for you in there, Kim.
799
00:50:46,409 --> 00:50:50,625
You know, not only did you
completely humiliate me,
800
00:50:52,705 --> 00:50:55,095
you treated me as if I was disposable.
801
00:50:56,665 --> 00:50:58,312
Yes, you did.
802
00:50:58,314 --> 00:51:03,314
And the rest of you, you
just laughed at my expense.
803
00:51:05,925 --> 00:51:09,413
Oh, oh, and then I got fired when I tried
804
00:51:09,415 --> 00:51:10,985
to approach you about it!
805
00:51:13,535 --> 00:51:15,785
You basically ruined my life.
806
00:51:17,315 --> 00:51:19,863
You turned me into the
punchline of every fucking joke
807
00:51:19,865 --> 00:51:21,365
that comes out of your mouths.
808
00:51:25,514 --> 00:51:27,385
Do you know why I cried that night?
809
00:51:30,855 --> 00:51:31,745
Kim knows.
810
00:51:33,885 --> 00:51:36,123
I cried because I was a married man
811
00:51:36,125 --> 00:51:38,313
and I knew the second I had sex with Kim,
812
00:51:38,315 --> 00:51:40,075
I had lost my wife forever.
813
00:51:41,865 --> 00:51:43,495
It wasn't even worth it!
814
00:51:44,847 --> 00:51:46,680
You were not worth it!
815
00:51:51,745 --> 00:51:54,265
Yeah, she left those
details out, didn't she?
816
00:52:01,743 --> 00:52:03,023
(clunking)
(shrieking)
817
00:52:03,025 --> 00:52:03,858
Pay back!
818
00:52:06,185 --> 00:52:09,273
I want to humiliate you for
every joke at my expense,
819
00:52:09,275 --> 00:52:11,943
every eye roll in my direction.
820
00:52:11,945 --> 00:52:14,513
I hope that after tonight,
you guys can never look
821
00:52:14,515 --> 00:52:16,305
at each other the same way again.
822
00:52:17,525 --> 00:52:20,925
But hey, at least none of
you have to sleep with Kim.
823
00:52:24,905 --> 00:52:26,325
You're first, bachelorette.
824
00:52:28,665 --> 00:52:29,795
Relax.
825
00:52:31,125 --> 00:52:32,175
I'm gonna untie you.
826
00:52:34,198 --> 00:52:38,468
Don't do anything stupid
and everything will be fine,
827
00:52:38,470 --> 00:52:39,470
you hear me?
828
00:52:43,019 --> 00:52:45,436
(whimpering)
829
00:52:52,634 --> 00:52:54,217
What are you doing?
830
00:52:55,908 --> 00:52:58,658
(Roger shouting)
831
00:52:59,813 --> 00:53:00,980
What the fuck?
832
00:53:03,075 --> 00:53:04,711
What the fuck?
833
00:53:04,713 --> 00:53:05,630
Be quiet!
834
00:53:30,679 --> 00:53:31,679
Thank god.
835
00:53:45,685 --> 00:53:46,518
Are you okay?
836
00:53:49,675 --> 00:53:50,508
Laura?
837
00:53:53,355 --> 00:53:54,188
Holy shit.
838
00:53:55,895 --> 00:53:57,835
It's okay, Laura, you had to.
839
00:53:59,305 --> 00:54:02,585
I knew I had to do that, but holy shit!
840
00:54:03,506 --> 00:54:04,339
What a rush.
841
00:54:05,615 --> 00:54:07,643
Listen, I know Roger is a psycho, but...
842
00:54:07,645 --> 00:54:09,765
Shut your fucking mouth, whore!
843
00:54:11,272 --> 00:54:14,203
What the fuck is your problem, untie us.
844
00:54:14,205 --> 00:54:16,593
Sorry, can't.
845
00:54:16,595 --> 00:54:19,815
Laura, it's not funny, untie us.
846
00:54:21,741 --> 00:54:24,793
Okay, so you are never gonna believe...
847
00:54:24,795 --> 00:54:27,935
Okay stop talking and
fucking untie us now!
848
00:54:28,812 --> 00:54:30,145
What the fuck!
849
00:54:31,942 --> 00:54:34,025
She's fine, she's fine.
850
00:54:35,816 --> 00:54:37,143
She's just fine.
851
00:54:37,145 --> 00:54:39,433
Psycho bitch.
852
00:54:39,435 --> 00:54:41,633
Are you guys dumb?
853
00:54:41,635 --> 00:54:44,945
Can you just shut your
frigging traps and cooperate?
854
00:54:45,918 --> 00:54:48,748
And you won't get hurt like Roger.
855
00:54:48,750 --> 00:54:49,750
Right Roger?
856
00:54:54,035 --> 00:54:56,313
He was here to help me drug you guys
857
00:54:56,315 --> 00:54:58,005
and you know do the heavy lifting
858
00:54:58,007 --> 00:55:01,555
and boy some of you were really heavy.
859
00:55:05,246 --> 00:55:06,896
Funny you didn't know about this.
860
00:55:10,175 --> 00:55:11,225
Are you kidding me?
861
00:55:12,405 --> 00:55:14,075
You're fucking insane.
862
00:55:15,782 --> 00:55:20,395
If you're not quiet, I'm
gonna cut your foot off!
863
00:55:23,335 --> 00:55:25,955
I need you later, but not all of you.
864
00:55:27,865 --> 00:55:29,365
What are you gonna do to us?
865
00:55:30,615 --> 00:55:33,113
I'm glad you asked, Holly.
866
00:55:33,115 --> 00:55:34,633
We're gonna play this little game again
867
00:55:34,635 --> 00:55:38,255
but this time it'll be fun,
and this time, you lose.
868
00:55:41,895 --> 00:55:44,623
Why do you fucking hate me so much?
869
00:55:44,625 --> 00:55:49,023
Because you're an entitled little bitch.
870
00:55:49,025 --> 00:55:52,862
You do what you want,
and say what you want,
871
00:55:52,864 --> 00:55:56,405
and you have everything I should have.
872
00:55:57,825 --> 00:56:00,625
What's your fiance gonna say about this?
873
00:56:02,703 --> 00:56:05,870
Don't you ever talk about my fiance.
874
00:56:13,735 --> 00:56:16,003
I can't believe you
ate a piece of my cake,
875
00:56:16,005 --> 00:56:17,505
you stupid shit!
876
00:56:22,845 --> 00:56:24,175
Time to play.
877
00:56:26,177 --> 00:56:30,025
How about we go in order,
who I like most to least.
878
00:56:31,955 --> 00:56:33,485
You're up first Holly.
879
00:56:36,304 --> 00:56:39,085
(gasps) Oh I like this one.
880
00:56:42,650 --> 00:56:45,483
Oh, listen, it's not that bad, no.
881
00:56:47,078 --> 00:56:49,943
I came up with the task myself.
882
00:56:49,945 --> 00:56:52,933
[Jess] Don't do this,
I'll do all their tasks.
883
00:56:52,935 --> 00:56:54,865
Of course you will.
884
00:56:55,775 --> 00:56:58,415
Always trying to make it about you again.
885
00:57:01,875 --> 00:57:03,553
You're up, Holly.
886
00:57:03,555 --> 00:57:07,693
So if I do it, you
say you won't hurt us?
887
00:57:07,695 --> 00:57:10,093
You have my word.
888
00:57:10,095 --> 00:57:12,865
I'll even untie you if you do it right.
889
00:57:18,205 --> 00:57:20,555
Holly, tell Jess what you think of her.
890
00:57:22,215 --> 00:57:25,325
Jess, what do you mean?
891
00:57:26,835 --> 00:57:27,668
No.
892
00:57:30,234 --> 00:57:34,943
Aw, sorry, you got it wrong.
893
00:57:34,945 --> 00:57:38,403
But because I like you,
I'll give you another shot.
894
00:57:38,405 --> 00:57:43,405
Come on now, Holly, tell us
what you really think of Jess.
895
00:57:48,755 --> 00:57:53,259
Jess, you're a whore and a fuck up
896
00:57:53,261 --> 00:57:57,255
and you don't deserve
anything that you have.
897
00:57:58,581 --> 00:57:59,414
And?
898
00:58:04,999 --> 00:58:07,916
And, you're not even that pretty.
899
00:58:09,618 --> 00:58:12,336
You're a cunt, rot in hell!
900
00:58:12,338 --> 00:58:15,022
(whimpers)
901
00:58:15,024 --> 00:58:17,433
Oh! (claps)
902
00:58:17,435 --> 00:58:19,195
Good job, I knew I liked you.
903
00:58:28,485 --> 00:58:30,735
(grunting)
904
00:58:32,373 --> 00:58:34,224
(screaming)
905
00:58:34,226 --> 00:58:35,059
No, no!
906
00:58:37,660 --> 00:58:38,493
No!
907
00:58:48,056 --> 00:58:52,256
No! (sobbing)
908
00:59:04,625 --> 00:59:06,215
I really did like her.
909
00:59:08,006 --> 00:59:10,935
Please let them go. (weeps)
910
00:59:12,905 --> 00:59:17,613
Do whatever you want
to me, but let them go.
911
00:59:17,615 --> 00:59:18,925
It's me you hate.
912
00:59:20,561 --> 00:59:23,635
I don't really like Kim much either.
913
00:59:24,887 --> 00:59:27,054
(mumbles)
914
00:59:28,735 --> 00:59:29,945
Let them go.
915
00:59:31,483 --> 00:59:34,943
Tempting, no.
916
00:59:34,945 --> 00:59:35,935
But tempting.
917
00:59:36,969 --> 00:59:39,219
That would ruin everything.
918
00:59:46,035 --> 00:59:46,868
Next.
919
00:59:53,725 --> 00:59:55,455
Your task Sarah
920
00:59:58,645 --> 01:00:01,495
is to give this dildo a blowie.
921
01:00:03,922 --> 01:00:06,005
No, don't do it, Sarah.
922
01:00:16,299 --> 01:00:19,216
(breathes heavily)
923
01:00:29,185 --> 01:00:33,035
Now remember, less teeth, more tongue.
924
01:00:38,382 --> 01:00:39,215
Come on.
925
01:00:40,654 --> 01:00:41,487
Come on.
926
01:00:46,346 --> 01:00:48,346
No, stop, please stop.
927
01:00:50,589 --> 01:00:52,089
You can lick it.
928
01:00:53,709 --> 01:00:55,792
Lick it like you mean it.
929
01:00:56,860 --> 01:00:57,693
Come on.
930
01:00:59,573 --> 01:01:00,406
Mm.
931
01:01:04,506 --> 01:01:06,245
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
932
01:01:10,415 --> 01:01:11,248
What's that?
933
01:01:13,825 --> 01:01:15,095
Time to go deeper.
934
01:01:20,429 --> 01:01:23,262
You are surprisingly good at this.
935
01:01:24,827 --> 01:01:27,577
No Laura, fuck off, let her go!
936
01:01:28,641 --> 01:01:32,525
What, you don't like watching
your girlfriend suck cock?
937
01:01:36,225 --> 01:01:39,785
What do you think, Jess, you
think she can take a bit more?
938
01:01:42,221 --> 01:01:43,838
What do you think?
939
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:44,673
Come on.
940
01:01:46,068 --> 01:01:48,596
- Play.
- Leave her alone.
941
01:01:48,598 --> 01:01:52,104
- Come on.
- Stop, please stop!
942
01:01:52,106 --> 01:01:52,939
No!
943
01:02:07,806 --> 01:02:10,179
No, you'll fucking kill her!
944
01:02:10,181 --> 01:02:11,098
Let her go!
945
01:02:24,907 --> 01:02:29,407
(shrieking)
(sobbing)
946
01:02:39,857 --> 01:02:42,107
Look what you made me do!
947
01:02:43,045 --> 01:02:44,878
You're fucking sick!
948
01:02:47,484 --> 01:02:49,567
You don't even know me.
949
01:02:56,173 --> 01:02:59,423
This isn't gonna work, there's no room.
950
01:03:20,632 --> 01:03:21,895
If she cuts you free,
951
01:03:23,782 --> 01:03:26,635
you can run, get out of here.
952
01:03:29,055 --> 01:03:32,188
No, if I go, it won't be without you.
953
01:03:32,190 --> 01:03:33,190
Fuck, Kim.
954
01:03:39,739 --> 01:03:43,543
It's really too bad you
can't be helping me with this.
955
01:03:43,545 --> 01:03:45,795
(grunting)
956
01:03:52,375 --> 01:03:53,643
Listen to me.
957
01:03:53,645 --> 01:03:55,435
No you listen to me.
958
01:03:56,615 --> 01:03:58,183
I'm not going without you.
959
01:03:58,185 --> 01:04:00,685
(eerie music)
960
01:04:10,160 --> 01:04:15,160
My turn!
(dramatic music)
961
01:04:15,325 --> 01:04:19,949
Introduce your fiance to the girls.
962
01:04:19,951 --> 01:04:21,655
Fun, I'm gonna go get him.
963
01:04:25,497 --> 01:04:26,865
What the fuck?
964
01:04:40,205 --> 01:04:43,455
You'll have to excuse him, ladies.
965
01:04:45,054 --> 01:04:47,093
Drugs are wearing off a little bit
966
01:04:47,095 --> 01:04:48,553
and you know he might be hungry,
967
01:04:48,555 --> 01:04:50,745
he's been here for about a week.
968
01:04:52,515 --> 01:04:53,348
Anyway!
969
01:04:54,818 --> 01:04:55,651
No, no!
970
01:04:56,935 --> 01:04:58,365
Please leave him alone.
971
01:04:59,887 --> 01:05:01,488
What did you do?
972
01:05:01,490 --> 01:05:02,823
What did you do?
973
01:05:35,357 --> 01:05:37,607
(clunking)
974
01:05:48,432 --> 01:05:51,099
(ominous music)
975
01:07:03,564 --> 01:07:06,231
(phone buzzing)
976
01:07:10,175 --> 01:07:11,125
Tom,
977
01:07:12,495 --> 01:07:13,805
Tom?
978
01:07:17,165 --> 01:07:20,525
Tom, you know Jess and Kim.
979
01:07:23,435 --> 01:07:24,765
Oh and that's Roger.
980
01:07:26,366 --> 01:07:30,533
Please, I'm begging you,
don't hurt him anymore.
981
01:07:31,475 --> 01:07:33,075
I didn't hurt him.
982
01:07:37,328 --> 01:07:40,193
Oh, his knees.
983
01:07:40,195 --> 01:07:41,873
Well Jess what did you want me to do,
984
01:07:41,875 --> 01:07:43,425
he wouldn't cooperate.
985
01:07:45,995 --> 01:07:48,695
How can you make love to a
man that doesn't cooperate?
986
01:07:49,684 --> 01:07:52,765
But he gave in eventually.
987
01:07:55,279 --> 01:07:56,995
Please leave him alone!
988
01:07:58,415 --> 01:07:59,465
But it was the best
989
01:08:00,811 --> 01:08:02,975
blowjob he's ever had.
990
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:06,170
(grunting)
991
01:08:09,715 --> 01:08:11,585
Oh that's fucked up.
992
01:08:14,485 --> 01:08:15,318
No.
993
01:08:16,408 --> 01:08:17,408
That's love.
994
01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:22,213
And let's keep playing.
995
01:08:22,215 --> 01:08:24,405
Why don't you just kill us already?
996
01:08:25,828 --> 01:08:28,995
I can't do that,
silly, I need witnesses.
997
01:08:35,299 --> 01:08:37,716
It's my wedding day tomorrow.
998
01:08:44,646 --> 01:08:46,313
He ordains weddings.
999
01:08:49,715 --> 01:08:51,185
You're invited by the way.
1000
01:08:52,455 --> 01:08:53,288
Wait.
1001
01:08:55,035 --> 01:08:59,545
You want me to marry you to him?
1002
01:09:03,690 --> 01:09:05,773
(laughs)
1003
01:09:19,331 --> 01:09:20,983
What's funny?
1004
01:09:20,985 --> 01:09:23,863
You're a grade A psycho,
I mean you're like truly
1005
01:09:23,865 --> 01:09:27,901
fucked in the head and there's
no way I'm gonna marry you.
1006
01:09:27,903 --> 01:09:28,755
No way in hell.
1007
01:09:29,769 --> 01:09:30,602
What?
1008
01:09:32,165 --> 01:09:33,345
Go fuck yourself.
1009
01:09:34,568 --> 01:09:39,568
(shouting)
(screaming)
1010
01:09:39,726 --> 01:09:41,976
(groaning)
1011
01:09:43,525 --> 01:09:47,785
Now when the time comes,
you're going to marry us!
1012
01:09:49,014 --> 01:09:51,264
(groaning)
1013
01:09:53,515 --> 01:09:56,505
Super, now it's Jess' turn to play.
1014
01:09:57,476 --> 01:10:00,226
(dramatic music)
1015
01:10:03,725 --> 01:10:08,043
Now Jessica, this one's a
little more like therapy.
1016
01:10:08,045 --> 01:10:12,325
Yep so I heard that you
don't like food much, mm-hm.
1017
01:10:13,385 --> 01:10:14,853
My suggestion would be, you know,
1018
01:10:14,855 --> 01:10:19,605
maybe you should starve
yourself instead of throwing up.
1019
01:10:21,505 --> 01:10:23,883
You might be less fat.
1020
01:10:23,885 --> 01:10:25,065
Fucking bitch.
1021
01:10:26,305 --> 01:10:27,405
You knew about this?
1022
01:10:28,265 --> 01:10:29,365
Some friend you are.
1023
01:10:31,245 --> 01:10:33,775
But you know what, I'm
family, I'm here to help.
1024
01:10:38,855 --> 01:10:39,855
Eat the whole thing.
1025
01:10:40,938 --> 01:10:42,355
It's gluten free.
1026
01:10:48,361 --> 01:10:50,611
(coughing)
1027
01:10:55,160 --> 01:10:56,160
That a girl!
1028
01:11:00,025 --> 01:11:02,425
It has to go down and it has to stay down.
1029
01:11:09,182 --> 01:11:10,682
It's okay, Jess.
1030
01:11:11,949 --> 01:11:14,116
(gagging)
1031
01:11:18,703 --> 01:11:20,953
(coughing)
1032
01:11:25,693 --> 01:11:27,919
It's pretty gross, right.
1033
01:11:27,921 --> 01:11:29,861
She looks like some kind of pig.
1034
01:11:29,863 --> 01:11:32,696
You know what, I'm fine, I'm fine.
1035
01:11:35,105 --> 01:11:37,717
At least I'm able to
eat without getting it
1036
01:11:37,719 --> 01:11:39,136
all over my face.
1037
01:11:40,621 --> 01:11:42,454
Except for last night.
1038
01:11:49,631 --> 01:11:52,303
(sobbing)
1039
01:11:52,305 --> 01:11:54,305
(sighs)
1040
01:11:55,223 --> 01:11:56,140
Kim's turn.
1041
01:11:57,575 --> 01:12:00,325
(dramatic music)
1042
01:12:02,025 --> 01:12:03,753
Kimmy.
1043
01:12:03,755 --> 01:12:07,045
Your task is to punch your
best friend in the face.
1044
01:12:07,965 --> 01:12:09,815
What a coincidence, she's right here.
1045
01:12:16,891 --> 01:12:19,141
(coughing)
1046
01:12:27,315 --> 01:12:29,335
Now Kimmy, I'm gonna untie you.
1047
01:12:30,805 --> 01:12:32,875
You know what happened to the others.
1048
01:12:36,635 --> 01:12:37,485
Go ahead.
1049
01:12:42,075 --> 01:12:43,585
Tic toc, tic toc.
1050
01:12:45,155 --> 01:12:48,245
Lord please give me a reason
to kill you right now.
1051
01:12:52,926 --> 01:12:57,926
(cheering)
(clapping)
1052
01:12:58,212 --> 01:12:59,629
That was amazing.
1053
01:13:04,627 --> 01:13:09,627
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
1054
01:13:10,333 --> 01:13:11,166
Kim!
1055
01:13:20,553 --> 01:13:21,386
Hit her!
1056
01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:36,700
(piano music)
1057
01:13:52,924 --> 01:13:55,757
(bottle clunking)
1058
01:14:13,400 --> 01:14:15,733
(screaming)
1059
01:14:17,278 --> 01:14:18,111
Kim!
1060
01:14:22,095 --> 01:14:23,595
- Kim!
- Jess, Jess!
1061
01:14:24,992 --> 01:14:26,075
By your feet.
1062
01:14:31,733 --> 01:14:34,233
(tense music)
1063
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:43,250
(coughing)
1064
01:15:03,451 --> 01:15:05,951
(tense music)
1065
01:15:11,708 --> 01:15:16,708
(bottle clunking)
(shouting)
1066
01:15:25,991 --> 01:15:28,241
(grunting)
1067
01:15:41,482 --> 01:15:43,221
Unicorn motherfucker.
1068
01:15:43,223 --> 01:15:45,473
(smashing)
1069
01:15:46,392 --> 01:15:47,225
Kim!
1070
01:15:48,341 --> 01:15:49,174
Kim!
1071
01:15:50,848 --> 01:15:51,681
Kim!
1072
01:15:52,595 --> 01:15:55,709
(footsteps tapping)
1073
01:15:55,711 --> 01:16:00,711
(door creaking)
(door slamming)
1074
01:16:05,452 --> 01:16:06,283
Kim?
1075
01:16:06,285 --> 01:16:09,618
- (ominous music)
- Sorry.
1076
01:16:12,794 --> 01:16:13,844
Kimmy didn't make it.
1077
01:16:16,941 --> 01:16:18,745
Unicorn motherfucker.
1078
01:16:18,747 --> 01:16:20,997
(grunting)
1079
01:16:38,434 --> 01:16:41,101
(ominous music)
1080
01:16:52,409 --> 01:16:54,576
(sobbing)
1081
01:17:02,445 --> 01:17:05,033
Roger, is it still gonna work
1082
01:17:05,035 --> 01:17:06,495
if there's only one witness?
1083
01:17:07,945 --> 01:17:11,407
Yeah okay, I don't fucking care.
1084
01:17:11,409 --> 01:17:13,265
Oh thank god.
1085
01:17:15,300 --> 01:17:17,865
Now what was I doing?
1086
01:17:17,867 --> 01:17:18,700
Oh right.
1087
01:17:24,480 --> 01:17:25,963
Tom,
1088
01:17:25,965 --> 01:17:26,798
Tom.
1089
01:17:27,657 --> 01:17:28,490
Tom.
1090
01:17:30,225 --> 01:17:31,058
I'm sorry,
1091
01:17:32,265 --> 01:17:34,055
I'm sorry I did this to your knee.
1092
01:17:36,755 --> 01:17:37,655
But I had to.
1093
01:17:40,323 --> 01:17:44,145
You have to know how much I love you.
1094
01:17:45,303 --> 01:17:46,935
You have to know that.
1095
01:17:48,205 --> 01:17:50,053
Jess never loved you.
1096
01:17:50,055 --> 01:17:53,383
She's not, she's not right for you.
1097
01:17:53,385 --> 01:17:55,125
I'm right for you.
1098
01:17:57,265 --> 01:17:58,835
Don't you know that?
1099
01:18:01,365 --> 01:18:04,415
She loved Kim more than she loved you.
1100
01:18:07,377 --> 01:18:08,210
You know?
1101
01:18:09,487 --> 01:18:10,979
But I love you.
1102
01:18:10,981 --> 01:18:13,935
I choose you and only you.
1103
01:18:15,235 --> 01:18:16,363
So what do you say?
1104
01:18:16,365 --> 01:18:21,005
Me and you together, as husband and wife?
1105
01:18:31,762 --> 01:18:32,872
(mumbles)
1106
01:18:32,874 --> 01:18:37,874
(gasps) Really, you choose me over Jess?
1107
01:18:43,105 --> 01:18:43,983
Yes.
1108
01:18:43,985 --> 01:18:45,902
(sobs)
1109
01:18:47,777 --> 01:18:50,777
(light happy music)
1110
01:18:56,179 --> 01:18:58,533
You're so beautiful.
1111
01:18:58,535 --> 01:18:59,993
Ever since I first saw you,
1112
01:18:59,995 --> 01:19:02,593
I knew that Jess and I were done.
1113
01:19:02,595 --> 01:19:05,125
Now there's no going back.
1114
01:19:29,355 --> 01:19:33,772
(groaning)
(sobbing)
1115
01:19:36,557 --> 01:19:37,807
[Laura] Fuck!
1116
01:19:43,210 --> 01:19:45,377
(sobbing)
1117
01:20:10,392 --> 01:20:13,309
(soft piano music)
1118
01:20:15,825 --> 01:20:17,265
I wanted to love you.
1119
01:20:20,325 --> 01:20:22,475
I wanted you to love me too.
1120
01:20:24,395 --> 01:20:25,439
But for real.
1121
01:20:25,441 --> 01:20:27,608
(sobbing)
1122
01:20:30,724 --> 01:20:32,425
I'm cold.
1123
01:20:44,693 --> 01:20:46,193
Your life is shit.
1124
01:20:56,314 --> 01:20:57,231
No friends.
1125
01:20:59,036 --> 01:21:00,685
No Tom.
1126
01:21:09,562 --> 01:21:10,395
You're me.
1127
01:21:13,981 --> 01:21:14,814
You're me.
1128
01:21:44,972 --> 01:21:46,854
(music box turning)
1129
01:21:46,856 --> 01:21:49,273
(soft music)
1130
01:21:56,583 --> 01:21:58,833
(clunking)
1131
01:22:00,941 --> 01:22:03,191
(grunting)
1132
01:22:16,800 --> 01:22:21,550
(sobbing)
(eerie music)
1133
01:23:43,419 --> 01:23:45,836
(soft music)
1134
01:24:55,665 --> 01:24:57,748
(crying)
1135
01:25:32,864 --> 01:25:36,281
(gentle music box music)
1136
01:25:57,546 --> 01:26:02,546
Subtitles by explosiveskull
1137
01:26:04,032 --> 01:26:07,032
(soft guitar music)
1138
01:26:32,185 --> 01:26:35,683
♪ Darkness goes you're no way over them ♪
1139
01:26:35,685 --> 01:26:39,365
♪ Hoping that I stay ♪
1140
01:26:39,367 --> 01:26:42,673
♪ Come on in and chase some gin ♪
1141
01:26:42,675 --> 01:26:47,453
♪ Then they keep you at bay ♪
1142
01:26:47,455 --> 01:26:50,848
♪ Empty lane ♪
1143
01:26:50,850 --> 01:26:54,532
♪ Empty lane ♪
1144
01:26:54,534 --> 01:26:56,351
♪ Damn if I do, damned if I don't ♪
1145
01:26:56,353 --> 01:26:58,075
♪ People say I've got what it
takes to bear this thrust ♪
1146
01:26:58,077 --> 01:27:03,077
♪ But one day I will ♪
1147
01:27:04,798 --> 01:27:07,001
♪ I will ♪
1148
01:27:07,003 --> 01:27:09,176
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1149
01:27:09,178 --> 01:27:10,602
♪ I will ♪
1150
01:27:10,604 --> 01:27:13,242
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1151
01:27:13,244 --> 01:27:15,360
♪ Double the stake and I'm
taking you for granted ♪
1152
01:27:15,362 --> 01:27:17,282
♪ Just me and the perception (mumbles) ♪
1153
01:27:17,284 --> 01:27:22,284
♪ Of my own ♪
1154
01:27:23,496 --> 01:27:25,637
♪ So this reflection ♪
1155
01:27:25,639 --> 01:27:27,278
♪ Ooh, ooh, ♪
1156
01:27:27,280 --> 01:27:29,084
♪ So many reflection ♪
1157
01:27:29,086 --> 01:27:33,985
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1158
01:27:33,987 --> 01:27:37,420
♪ That is when I invite you in ♪
1159
01:27:37,422 --> 01:27:41,082
♪ That is when I invite you in ♪
1160
01:27:41,084 --> 01:27:45,103
♪ That is when I invite you in ♪
1161
01:27:45,105 --> 01:27:46,991
♪ Gem, gem, I win ♪
1162
01:27:46,993 --> 01:27:50,635
♪ I win, I win ♪
1163
01:27:50,637 --> 01:27:54,354
♪ Darkness calls, you're no in over them ♪
1164
01:27:54,356 --> 01:27:58,138
♪ Hoping that I stay ♪
1165
01:27:58,140 --> 01:28:01,279
♪ Come on in and chase some gin ♪
1166
01:28:01,281 --> 01:28:06,106
♪ And then they keep you at bay ♪
1167
01:28:06,108 --> 01:28:09,458
♪ I delay ♪
1168
01:28:09,460 --> 01:28:13,104
♪ I delay ♪
1169
01:28:13,106 --> 01:28:14,584
♪ I know I gotta serve
it up to the plate ♪
1170
01:28:14,586 --> 01:28:15,909
♪ Because I can't deliver it any longer ♪
1171
01:28:15,911 --> 01:28:17,119
♪ It's gonna make me stronger ♪
1172
01:28:17,121 --> 01:28:22,121
♪ When I do ears ♪
1173
01:28:24,530 --> 01:28:27,370
♪ Under, ooh, ooh ♪
1174
01:28:27,372 --> 01:28:32,094
♪ Do it splendor, ooh, ooh ♪
1175
01:28:32,096 --> 01:28:35,760
♪ Some safety end of the road ♪
1176
01:28:35,762 --> 01:28:39,845
♪ Some say that it's getting old ♪
79133
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof