All language subtitles for CHiPs.1x19.Crash.Diet

You haven't smiled
since we hit the bricks.

I got a premonition. I can't shake it.

I think we're in for a strange weekend,
starting with the afternoon briefing.

When you get a premonition,
it's usually about Getraer.

There's physical evidence.

Getraer's been studying some printouts
from the big computer.

What kind of computer printout?

I don't know.

But I got a feeling something strange
is about to happen.

Hey, coach,
can't you speed it up a little?

If we're not there in 10 minutes,
we forfeit the game.

We're coming up to our turnoff.
We'll be there in time.

Just relax and...

You're not changing here?
On the freeway?

Sure, why not?

Then we'll be ready to play
when we get there. Just drive.

No sign of him.

Oh, boy, the police.

Cover up. Get under the seats.

You're a little late with your warnings.

- Did he see anything?
- He saw everything.

Are you crazy?
There's a motorcycle cop following us.

Make that two.

You think you can outrun them in this?

I just wanna get to the Center.

We made it.

We've got exactly five minutes
to be on the court.

Officer, we have
a very important game.

It's the quarterfinals. If we're not
on the court in three...

It's okay, I just need the driver.

That's me.

Come on, girls.

You know, that wasn't very smart
driving, especially with passengers.

I know, but we were late and the girls
were suiting up, getting ready.

Getting undressed.

Right, but...

- I got it.
- Fellas, I was scared.

This team is kind of a hobby for me.
I'm really a teacher...

...at a very conservative private school.
I mean, the headlines would ruin me.

You better learn the law.

You were the only one exposed
to public view.

Then it's not indecent exposure?

No, sir. I'm citing you for speeding.

Oh, I like that.

And failure to yield.

That's good. That's good.

Volleyball seems to be pretty popular
at places like this.

It's a good icebreaker.
Everyone's looking up.

But that's social volleyball,
this is league competition.

Oh, they have leagues?

Oh, yeah. I volunteered for the laughs.

I never thought they'd win a game.
Undefeated.

Two more wins
and we're in the national playoffs.

The nationals get a lot of coverage.

News coverage, that is.

Listen, you keep your mind on the road
and on your driving.

- You understand?
- Thanks.

Good luck.

It could catch on.

A popular spectator sport.

Never. No place for the numbers.

You know what we ought
to be doing right now?

Yeah. Go on out to the overpass
and see if the dirt-thrower left any clues.

I knew you were gonna say that.
I just knew it.

Hey, Getraer looks different
but I don't see any computer printouts.

Yeah. But watch for something
off-the-wall...

...with some spin on it.

All right.
Can I have your attention, please?

We have three reports of a man throwing
objects at vehicles on the freeway.

It seems to be localized
in the Topanga area.

Let's maintain a high profile and
catch him before he hurts somebody.

Now...

I've just received the computerized
follow-up...

...and the physician's report...

...of the department's
quarterly physical.

The statewide results of the tests
indicate that...

I'm quoting here.

"We are losing the battle
against an insidious killer...

...a causative agent in heart disease...

...circulatory ailments, strokes. "

The list goes on.

The killer they're talking about is fat.

"Between quarterly physicals...

...the CHP officers examined gained
an accumulation of weight...

...equal to that
of three fully-dressed...

...motorcycles.

Or 3.3 ounces per hour of all the time
passed in that interval. "

The California Highway Patrol...

...has been ordered to reduce.

Pounds per unit have been computed
and quotas have been assigned.

We have ours.

Between now
and your next quarterly physical...

...the Central Division of CHP
will lose...

...1000 pounds.

That's it, Getraer lost weight.
He saw this coming.

Hey, look at Grossman.
I think he's in shock.

We're talking about
more than just weight loss here.

This is gonna be a comprehensive
physical conditioning program.

We'll start with me.

At the last quarterly physical,
I weighed...

...190 pounds, 10 ounces,
duty dressed.

I've lost 11 pounds.

That leaves 989 pounds to go.

This computerized report here
contains suggestions...

...for individual weight loss.

I'll give those to you now
if you'll step up here, please.

You see how computers
handle human life?

They grind you up and when
they spit you out, you're a number.

Come on, Grossie, get your number.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

"Lose a thousand pounds. "

Numbers on a sheet of paper.
No individual consideration.

I mean, look at Grossman.
He's really uptight and worried about it.

Grossie stays fat through everything:
His life, a dozen programs like this.

Listen, Grossie survives fat.

Yeah, he finds loopholes.

But this time,
he's up against the computer.

Oh, boy.

You see? You see?
We're actually on the freeway.

Right.

A freeway.
You know, I never thought I'd make it.

That was the opinion of the driving
school, but we showed them.

Yeah. We sure did.

Let's try a faster lane.
What do you say?

Why not?

That's good, that's good.
That's confident.

Now, remember, we drive the car,
we don't aim it.

Right.

Very good.

Very good.

Oh, my g...

Hey, look at that.

- Are you okay?
- Oh, we're just fine.

He doesn't look all right.

It takes him a few minutes to come
out of it. He's been this way before.

But this time it was my fault.
You were doing fine.

He was doing fine until I startled him.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 3, 10-97, 11-82
westbound Glendale at Perdue.

What startled you?

As you may have guessed, Brown Eyes,
I don't startle easily.

Thank you.

It's important that I inspire confidence
in my students.

I try to retain an inner kind of calm.

But when you look up and see a weirdo
dressed in rags running at you...

- ... I mean, it's difficult not to react.
- It's a normal response.

I'm bursting with normal responses.

If there's anything else you need,
let me know.

We'll just forget about this.

Tomorrow, we'll start
at the beginning, okay?

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow.

All right, Grossman, on the scale.

Come on.

Grossman, you gained five pounds.

All right.
Put it down on the desk, huh?

That's exactly what you weighed
at your last physical.

It's my natural body weight.
Look, sarge.

I've always been a large person.

Look, I don't wanna look
at your baby pictures.

Here I am as a kid.

A fat kid.

Hey, that's cute.
The one on the pony.

I don't care about your childhood,
Grossman.

But I'm proving a point, sarge.

Here I am in high school,
the service just before I got married.

Always large.

Eighteen pounds, Grossman.

- That's the medical opinion.
- Eighteen pounds?

Do it for you family, your heart,
the good of the department...

...and do it for me, Grossman.

Look, I know it's tough.
But look how much I lost...

...11 pounds.

You know, sarge, we can all lose
more than the computer figures.

- What do you say, five pounds each?
- It might help Grossman, you know?

Every pound counts. I'll put you guys
down for five extra pounds apiece.

That's a very commendable spirit.

Oh, by the way, sarge, I'm filing
another report on the freeway-thrower.

All right. We're checking
all the institutions and hospitals.

I want you guys
to pay special attention to this...

...until we put a fix on this guy, all right?
- Okay, sarge.

We've had
freeway homesteaders before...

...but they don't wanna cause accidents
or even be seen.

I don't think this guy wants to hurt
anybody. He'd be throwing rocks.

- What's your theory?
- He may even wanna be noticed for sure.

He may even wanna be caught.

That's your theory.
What do you wanna do?

Well, Getraer just said,
"Give him special attention," right?

Let's give him some, huh?

Hey, you were in the Boy Scouts.
Do you remember how to read tracks?

Tell you what, the first rule is you don't
trample the tracks you're trying to read.

That's gotta be the spot
where he's been throwing dirt.

Now, he threw
at the student driver's car.

Well, we're in the right place.

Yup. And he knows it.

Let's go.

Let me go! Let me go.
We gotta get out of here.

It's dynamite, it's gonna blow.

Let me up. Get me up.

- Put me in the cab. I'll drive it out.
- You can't even see.

- I don't need to. Put me in the cab.
- Lf that blows, it'll take all these cars.

- Stay here and keep him back.
- All right.

You calm down and keep your
hands away from your face, all right?

Hey, mister, come here.

Stay with him. Keep his hands away
from his face. Take him on the shoulder.

- You hurt?
- Just a little scared.

You wanna know about scared?
I'll give you some lessons.

I thought I told you
to stay back with that traffic.

Hey, you know me, impetuous.

That's poor procedure, Ponch.

I mean, risking the lives of two men
when one can do the job.

So report me.

I'll see you at the dinner.

You don't wanna tell me
what this is about?

Later. I'll pick you up about 10, okay?

Come on.

Come on, you can do it.
Come on. Come on.

That's it.

Okay, that's three.
Let's try another one. Go on.

All right, come on. All right, come on.
Come on. Come on.

Come on.

All right.

Look, I'm counting on you guys.
Five pounds apiece, remember?

- Sarge.
- Yeah?

Can I talk to you?

Yeah, in my office but make it brief.
I'm up to here.

- Hey, Ponch.
- Yeah?

Am I any good at my job?
It's the only thing I ever wanted to do.

Come on, Grossie,
sure, you're good at it.

I guess my performance
doesn't count anymore.

Just my weight.

Lighten up, okay?
We'll get your weight down.

No, I think it's too much this time.

I think I've been sabotaged
by that computer.

Look, you ever tried jogging?

- Jogging?
- Yeah. Getraer does it every morning.

I'll tell you what.
The four of us'll meet...

...tomorrow morning
one hour before duty.

I'll help you out.

- Hey, Ponch?
- Yeah?

How about dinner?

Carol has a class tonight.
Assertiveness training.

Well, I got a date for dinner,
then I'm meeting Jon.

All right, I'll sit and watch you eat
if you're looking for company, okay?

- Terrific.
- All right.

A man who throws objects
at vehicles...

...has to be treated for what he is,
a menace.

He's a human menace.
He's gotta be stopped by a person.

That's what we're out there for,
isn't it?

- Fine, if we can get close to him.
- Well, get close to him.

Yeah, Sergeant Getraer.

He did? All right.

I might come up with something good.
Save lives, save the taxpayers money.

No brainstorms, huh, Frank?

Sergeant Getraer,
returning the captain's call.

But we should get close to him.

Fine, but would you give me
some breathing room while I talk...?

Yeah. Captain, this is Sergeant Getraer.

You sure Jon'll go along with
this? It's not our kind of duty.

He'll go along when I tell him about it.

This kind of duty, the computer can't do.
I got it all wired in with Getraer.

- What's your plan?
- Wherever he's hiding...

...he's gotta get hungry.

We're going out there tonight, so
maybe we can be there in the morning.

Maybe we can grab him when he comes
looking for something to eat.

- Wanna come along?
- No.

But speaking of food...

...want some salad?

No, thanks.

- I don't wanna spoil my supper.
- I'll get the check.

Good, I'll get the tip.

Hey, man.

- He's a cop.
- Okay.

- He's trying to help.
- All right.

The guy is choking.
He's trying to save him.

Okay, okay.

I can breathe now.

- I'm all right. Thank you, man.
- That's all right.

- Hey, we feel like fools.
- Well, that's how you guys acted.

- The guy's a friend of ours.
- So you nearly cost him his life.

Thought your buddy
was beating up on him.

It's called the Heimlich Method.
Why don't you guys learn it, huh?

Hey, Ponch,
I can't sleep in this shoebox.

Ponch.

Hey, Ponch, wake up.

I'm not sleeping, I'm not sleeping.
I heard every word you said.

I think we're parked in the wrong place.
We've been here for hours.

It don't seem that long.

Yeah, well, it does if you're awake.
This isn't our job anyway.

- They'll find him with ground search.
- Ground search is expensive, Jon.

He might kill somebody
before the computers found him...

...dangerous enough
to put the money into it.

Okay, okay.

Listen, could you just stay awake
and help me pass the time?

Okay, partner, sure.

Ponch.

I'm awake, I'm awake.

Wait a minute, friend. Just relax.
Just relax, okay? We're here to help you.

We can't talk to you
unless we know your name, okay?

- What's your name?
- Leonard.

I'm Ponch, Leonard.

This is my friend, Jon.

- You don't come after me.
- Okay, okay. All right.

Relax, all right? We'll do it your way.
Like friends, right?

My friends...

...are on the great big lawn.

I was reading the stones
and I got lost.

Leonard, where do you go
when you're not with friends?

Leonard.

- I mean, you live in a house?
- In my room.

And once they locked it on me.

- That's too bad, Leonard.
- I said, stay in the car!

Okay, all right, Leonard.

Leonard, listen to me.

We're here to take you
anywhere you wanna go.

Leonard.

Wait a minute, Ponch.

This is his own turf.

Yeah, forget it.
We don't stand a chance.

I wouldn't jog a yard this morning
if I hadn't promised Grossman.

Hey, you know the stones
Leonard was reading?

- I got a thought that...
- Hey.

Good morning, sarge.

Never mind the "good morning,"
you already said that to me...

...at 4 a. m. When you woke me up.

We didn't know you were gonna
get sore. I mean, it was your idea.

What do you mean, my idea?

If you wanna give me the credit...

But you said, "Get close to him. "
Remember?

I never ordered...

...any moonlight monkeyshines,
and you know it.

Listen, we found Leonard.
I mean, that's the important thing.

The important thing
is that you lost him.

Look, if you guys wanna play
detective games on your time off...

...that's your hang-up. But to call me up
in the middle of the night...

...to tell me that you goofed it,
that's too much.

Yeah, but we did get his name.

I mean, you could've
called L.A.P.D. Yourself.

I mean, why wake me up
and ask me to do it?

This way you'd get the credit, sarge.

I don't need the credit, I need my sleep.

Listen, sarge. You know the stones
Leonard was reading?

We think they were in a cemetery.

And the biggest cemetery in the area
is near the VA Hospital...

...at Sawtelle.

Yeah, well, the hospital's been checked.

Yeah, but he might have friends there,
though.

He might even live nearby.

Yeah, well, I suggested that
to the L.A.P. D...

...at 4: 15 this morning.

Morning.

This was a great idea.

Good sleep, light breakfast, vitamins.

Let's roll.

I'll take it easy
till you guys loosen up.

Come on.

Hey, come on, you guys.
I'm not doing this alone.

- There's all kinds of exercise, you know?
- Yeah.

If we can't keep up with Grossman,
I guess we're doing the wrong kind.

- Hey, they're coming over here.
- You short a few players, I hope?

You guys any good?

Well, just for exercise.
But it's only a game, right?

- Okay, Carol?
- Okay.

I'm Ponch, this is Jon.

Hi. So when's your game
at the Center?

I knew we'd seen you guys before.

Linda, these are
the two highway patrolmen.

Oh, yeah, you guys look so different
out of your uniforms.

Yeah, you too.

- Listen, we were just doing...
- Just doing your job.

Yeah, well, we lost the game
and we're out of the league.

And the team has broken up, so...

How about one of you guys
each side of the net, okay?

Yeah, great.

Hey, listen,
don't be too hard on them, huh?

No, come on, don't be so chauvinistic.
Let's make them earn their points.

- Let's go.
- Hit it.

- Move!
- I got it!

Come on, put it up.

I got it.

- Good girl.
- Get it!

- Wait, wait.
- Come on.

Over here.

There you go.

Over here, over here.

Here it comes.

- We gotta go, girls.
- Oh, are you guys leaving?

- Yeah.
- Duty calls, right?

If we make the team,
we'll be working out here.

- You want an audience?
- Come on.

You had to know we were good.

No hard feelings, okay?

- Okay, see you later.
- All right.

- See you around. Goodbye.
- Ciao.

- Bye.
- Bye.

What happened to you guys?

A little volleyball lesson, sarge.

Yeah, you guys teaching volleyball now,
huh? What next?

- Let's hit it. Let's go.
- Yeah.

Come on. Come on.

Leonard is a part-time patient
at the VA Hospital at Sawtelle.

See, he lives with his sister
about two blocks away.

I've been treating him for years.

She reported him missing three days ago.

We don't usually handle
missing persons.

- But, well, under the circumstances...
- I understand.

He hates cars because his wife
was killed on the freeway.

He was driving.
He took a head wound in Vietnam...

...and had just recovered
when the accident happened.

Once in a while,
he goes around the bend.

Does he wanna be found
or does he wanna stay lost?

What he wants is help.
I think I can bring him in.

He disappeared
just about right down there.

All right. Stay out of sight.

Leonard.

Leonard, it's Doc.

Come on, let's go home, Leonard.

Doc.

Oh, Leonard.

All right. All right, Leonard.

I hate the cars.

They killed her.

You know that,
it was a car that killed my wife.

Everything's gonna be all right.
Let's go home.

No.

No, no. Wait a minute. I'm all right.
Go get him. Stop him, please.

I gotta stop the cars.

Don't. I gotta stop the cars.

- No, no. Leonard.
- My wife!

Leonard, stop it! Stop it, now.

Seven pound weight loss.

V ery good. We're right on target.
Okay, up on the scales.

You guys know what to do now,
don't you?

- Yeah. Where'd you find it?
- An x-ray supply house.

- I have to return it.
- You may end up wearing it.

Grossman, you're next.
Let's listen up, huh?

- Okay, how do you feel? Better, huh?
- I feel a little weak, sarge.

Okay...

...you lost eight pounds.
Your goal was 18 pounds.

You can't say I didn't try.

Yeah.

Okay, Baker, Poncherello,
it's up to you guys.

Five extra pounds apiece, remember?

Well, 175. Read it and weep.

Perfect. I appreciate that.

Okay, Frank, we're down to you.
Up on the scales.

For a guy in great shape,
this wasn't easy.

One hundred and eighty pounds,
on the nose.

We did it, 1000 pounds.

I hope your computer
has a nervous breakdown.

Yeah, well, so do I. Just let me
figure this up one more time.

Let's see, 971. Grossman's eight is...

...979. You guys, 10, 989.

My 11 pounds, 1000 pounds.

Hold it, sarge,
that 11 pounds was last week.

- What counts is today's weight.
- That's right, sarge.

Proof is what you guys want,
proof is what you'll get.

Excuse me, Frank, out of the way.

I don't understand.

Looks like
you gained 10 pounds, sarge.

Yeah, it's up from 179 to 189.

Sergeant, how could you?

I don't understand.