Original subtitles

By 1944, most German men had been sent into battle

and the Fatherland's factories were staffed by women.

British Intelligence decided to conduct espionage behind enemy lines

by getting some of their agents to dress up.

Literally.

These were top secret operations known as "the poof platoons."

Perugia, Italy, May 1944

Alarm!

Infiltrators! The Enigma!

Alarm!

Brits.

Hey. Don't shoot! Don't... Don't shoot!

Don't shoot. Over there.

Just beware, have a... Don't shoot.

- Identify yourself. - I'm Steven O'Rourke, OSS.

Do you have any ID?

I'm over 21, if that's what you're worried about.

Stop where you are.

What's that?

This is one of the hottest espionage coups of the whole goddamn war.

- I'd love to be modest, but you did ask. - Looks like a typewriter to me.

- Where did you get it? - Right from under Fritz's nose.

- We'll have to destroy it. - What?

Regulations are quite clear.

Yes. Here we are: "Regarding contact

with all enemy hardware of a non-military nature

including administrative and office material..."

- Your typewriter. - No, no, no. This isn't a typewriter.

- This is an Enigma machine. - "Use of booby traps..."

Adolf and his pals use these to send messages

to one another that can't be deciphered unless you have one.

Now we have one.

We could decode every message from every German on the whole goddamn planet!

- Now, these rules are crystal clear. - This baby could mean the end of the war!

It's still "enemy hardware of a non-military nature."

- Listen, pal... - No, you listen, "pal."

We don't know who you are. You might be an agent provocateur.

- A what? - An enemy agent.

I am not an enemy agent! I'm American. OSS.

You twit!

Right.

Sergeant.

Take two men, destroy that typewriter.

Gun.

Thank you. Sergeant.

"Enemy hardware of a non-military nature."

Fire.

His Majesty's Military Prison, Sussex

There. He's in the red team, sir.

Indeed.

He's too good a soldier to be here, sir.

- O'Rourke should be out in the thick of it. - He entered the Riechskanzlei

and almost captured Goering. He almost got hold of the plans for the V2.

Yes, I've heard him referred to as "Special Agent Almost."

But perhaps McCinley, your secretary

knows of a job that he's actually completed.

There he is, sir.

I'd hate to be the opposing team, sir.

That chap's on his side.

He doesn't like sharing the limelight.

- Hooray, Stevie. - Hey.

Send him up.

Right, sir.

- The "P" is a bit sticky too. - Is it?

A hell of a job if you're requisitioning potatoes from the parish for the prisoners.

- Yes. - You've got a good man here, sir.

- Jolly good of you to take a look at it. - That's all right, sir.

Top brass.

O'Rourke, you will address your superior officer

Colonel Aiken, correctly.

Mind leaving us for a moment, major?

Will this take long? I need a shower.

You still here, McCinley?

Something's come up, captain. We're taking you to Queen Mary's.

Sing, Hartley.

- I beg your pardon, sir. - Sing, man.

Cover our conversation. I don't want people to overhear us.

- Sing something. - Yes, sir.

Special operation, captain. Berlin, to be precise.

We want you to get hold of an Enigma.

Keep going, sergeant.

Do you have a problem working with British officers, O' Rourke?

No, sir.

In fact, the last one I worked with shot the Enigma I carried back across the line

after four months of careful planning.

No, I don't have a problem with the British, especially the officers.

In my opinion, they are the most arrogant, rule-obsessed twits I've ever met!

- Louder please, Hartley. - Yes, sir.

Your little Italian encounter with former Major Bradley

who, by the way, is now working full-time

with the "Children Growing Vegetables" campaign

is still the closest we've come to getting an Enigma.

Since then, they've been withdrawn from every vulnerable location along the coast.

Every ship, every submarine we hit is scuttled before we get inside.

We need to go to the source.

We've located the factory that makes them, just outside Berlin.

The Nazis refer to it as H20.

We want you to infiltrate that factory and kidnap one of our little friends.

It's an unusual mission. The factory is staffed exclusively by women.

Women managers, women supervisors, every single person is female.

And where would I be inserted?

This hospital used to be just a disguise for headquarters, a decoy

but after five years of war, that's a luxury we can no longer afford.

Hello.

Well, so good at saying hello, yet so awful at saying goodbye.

You slippery bastard! Do you take me for some kind of tart?

You bloody American Yankee...

- Do you know that young lady, captain? - No. I didn't catch her name.

- Prick! - Charming.

What did you have in mind, colonel?

Me and a few ruthless, lethal female killers get dropped outside Berlin?

Sorry to disappoint you. No more women on combat missions.

That's an order from the top.

- Sergeant. - See you later.

One of our top decoding boys.

Doors. Simple, but absolute.

You can't be half right with a door. It's push-pull.

- Captain O'Rourke, this is Mr. Johnson. - Johnno.

Please.

So codes, machines, the crash course.

Which way do the hands of a clock turn?

- Clockwise. - But not if you're the clock.

Put yourself in the mind of your opponent, even if your opponent's a machine.

There's 150 million permutations for the Enigma.

That's 42,000 years to work through them all.

- You can taste the impossibilities. - Mr. Johnson

speaks 27 different languages, including fluent German.

Germany. Deutschland. That will be phenomenal.

I mean, I don't really get out that much, so it's quite special for me.

- And Oktoberfest. - Yeah. If you'll excuse me, Mr. Johnson.

It's July though, isn't it? It's a shame we can't really push it back, isn't it?

- No, no, no. - This isn't a quickie behind enemy lines.

You'll need experts, people we can trust.

- People like Johnson and Hartley. - Hartley?

- Who's Hartley? - I am.

Someone is to make sure you stay focused. Hartley can do that. He'll be in command.

- What? - I can spring you from prison

but I can't give you a command. There are limits.

With respect, sir, I am strictly admin.

Hartley, you're a temporary acting major as of now.

- I don't do teams. - Very good, Special Agent Almost.

You may spend the rest of the war in McCinley's mudhole

for biting a man's finger off... almost.

Physical assault of a superior officer.

Wouldn't you love, just for once, to get a mission completed, captain?

- They'll never make it off the plane. - Well, that's up to you.

You've got four weeks to teach Johnson, Hartley, and Parker

everything they'll need to know to hold up behind enemy line.

- Who's Parker? - Sir?

He was adjutant to the military attache in Berlin,

speaks German like a native.

The gray angel sent some pansies.

- Do come in, sir. - Passwords.

I haven't been dancing in years.

- Would you like to join me for a drink? - That's very kind of you.

Well, a lime cordial wouldn't go amiss. Is that all right, colonel?

This way, please.

Colonel, what are we doing here?

Just a small venture into enemy territory.

- You're used to that, aren't you? - Can I get you anything?

- No, thank you. No, thank you. - Don't worry, love.

- I remember my first time. - Scotch.

Sir...

I reckon some of these blokes lean to starboard.

- What? - I reckon some of these blokes are queens.

You worked that out all by yourself?

Hartley, do you think maybe you should inform the management?

Yes, sir.

You got a good man there.

Where's this Tony Parker?

That's him.

It's always the ones you least suspect.

- Bravo, lieutenant. - Lieutenant.

A lot of men experiment with the military but, you know, it's just a phase.

Come now, Parker, the military was never just an experiment for you.

Parker was a first-class soldier.

It's just a shame about his medical condition.

What was that, then?

Captain O' Rourke. Major Hartley.

- Temporary major. - And that's Mr. Johnson.

- He seems very at home. - He went to Eton.

We have to infiltrate a factory staffed entirely by females.

I want you to turn these men into women.

- What? - No men are in this factory,

there are only old men and boys in the whole of Germany.

And the Nazis have started drafting them now.

- I'm not wearing a dress. - What do you say?

Piss off.

After all the humiliations you put me through

you dare to come in here.

- Why on God's earth...? - I'm not wearing a dress!

This is a big one, Parker. I wouldn't ask you otherwise.

If you don't agree I'll have this place raided

and all your friends sent off for rehabilitation.

And I shall tell your father, the brigadier.

It's good to see you're still a thorough-going bastard.

You'll never believe what the management's just told me, sir.

I'm not wearing a dress.

- First lesson is posture. - Keep your butt down, head forward.

- Enjoy. - Get around and control that head.

Through the ribs.

Girlies, march.

Turn. Swagger. Very good.

Smile.

You jump off that wall right now!

Okay, slowly take it around your lips.

Well, that's quite a...

- Once you've got your makeup on. - We are wearing makeup, sir.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes, so you are.

Well, Berlin tomorrow night. Yes, good.

Oh, no, no, no.

You don't understand. I wasn't... I was just... It's not.

Poor darling.

I understand.

It's the war. Here.

Do you want my knickers as well?

You coming to bed?

Archie? It's bedtime.

Yeah, right.

You do know I love you, Nettie, don't you?

What you saying that for? It's not our anniversary.

Just in case something happens.

What? On a four-day filing and copying course in Hampshire?

Don't be daft.

It's not a four-day filing and copying course, is it?

I know, love.

I know.

I'm proud of you.

Come on.

Don't be too long, now.

Drop to take place 0200 hours, during air raid.

Proceed over land to target site H20.

Location is confirmed by aerial recon.

Infiltrate target factory. Extricate Enigma.

Escape via airplane through friendly agent Fleiss at 1600 hours.

Alternative escape flight, two days subsequent at 1600 hours.

- Tony, is there a gentlemen's onboard? - What?

- A gentlemen's? - Out the door on the wing.

- What the hell is that? - Killer, my mousekins.

We're always together. He's a pilot. I always wanted to be a pilot.

Look, I definitely need to go.

We're over the drop zone now, sir, but the wind's changed, sir.

We're in formation. I'm afraid we can't adjust.

How far off course?

Well, worst case scenario...

- I'd say not more than 10 miles, sir. - All right. Let's go.

Come on. Go! Go! Go!

He's a pilot, huh?

Can you believe these guys?

Well, I don't know about Jerry

but they sure as hell scared the shit out of me.

We're about 7.2 kilometers off course.

I triangulated off that church spire while we were dropping.

- Holy moly, that was amazing. - Who put that bleeding lake there?

You fell in the lake and sprained your ankle?

Well, actually, I landed in a rowing boat in the middle of the lake.

And then the bleeding thing tipped over.

I was ever so lucky, though, 'cause it's quite shallow.

And I can't swim.

We're gonna police and dispose of the chutes,

check our grid coordinates, and then female-camo ready by 0300.

Dig a hole, put the parachutes in it. I'm gonna look at the map.

I want everyone looking like dames by 3 a.m.

Right.

Right, we'll do what you said.

That'll be it. About bleeding time.

We have eight hours till we meet Fleiss at the airfield.

Let's stick together. And keep your voices down.

So we're really gonna do this, then?

Well, it can't just disappear.

- Did you read the map right? - Yes.

This is the place, and we saw it from the hill.

Captain!

Come here.

It's a fake.

- A decoy to fool air reconnaissance. - No.

Our superiors, with their intelligence, they'd never fall for that.

Our superiors don't know crap.

That's why they're superior.

Okay. Okay. We gotta locate this factory somehow.

- There's a friendly contact in Berlin. - What? Now, we're done.

We just lie low till we get extracted, right?

- Bit of bad luck and all that, but we almost... - No, Hartley.

We're on the doorstep. We're not going home without a goodnight kiss.

Killer?

Quick, back in the bushes. In the bushes.

- Johnno! Johnno! - It's my mousekins.

- Okay. - Here we go.

Hips forward, shoulders back and, for God's sake, smile.

Are you, girls, lost?

How'd you like some real men to protect you?

Why? Are there any real men around here?

Want a ride to Berlin?

Do you have any room left? We're not easy girls to pick up.

It's okay Smitty. She's a German woman.

Take care, boys. Next to us the Eastern front is a holiday camp.

Sit next to me, sweetheart, I'll hold you tight round the curves.

Touch my curves mate and you'll get one straight in the eye!

Okay, it's the head librarian.

- Remember the code phrase? - Sure.

Mommy, can we go home now? The airplanes!

Go away, she's not your mom.

Wait!

Excuse me. I'm looking for Arabian Nights - Frankfurt edition.

Arabian Nights?

Isn't that Semitic?

Why don't you try Grimm's instead?

No, the Frankfurt edition. It's for a friend - overseas.

One moment please. Wait here.

Wait here.

- Something's wrong, let's go. - The librarian's our contact.

- Those are our orders. - Screw orders.

My ankle's itching. That means something's wrong.

Your ankle? Now, I'm staying here, mate.

Mommy. Mommy.

Gestapo? I need to make a report!

There are suspects in the library. Saboteurs, maybe agents!

Maybe they are spies! There is something funny about them...

Hauptsturmfuehrer! Finished your books already?

You're turning me into a real bookworm.

I'm looking for a book on librarians playing hard to get.

Right next to the books on officers who won't take NO for an answer.

- What the hell is going on? - I don't know.

Oh, there you are!

I would say not taking NO for an answer

is something to admire in a German officer.

Yes, you would say that.

The books you were looking for.

"The Gestapo Is Coming." "The Escape."

I've seen that, the picture.

The door. We've gotta go. That way. Quick.

Come on. Hurry up.

Mommy.

Okay, go right to the top. You'll be safe there.

- Wait. Hit me. - What?

Blood, it has to look real.

She's saying we overpowered her, forced her to show us a way out.

Something about desperate mothers. Books for firewood.

Gestapo boy seems to have bought it.

I think he'd buy anything from our little Sheherazade. The way he looks at her, he...

The old man says he doesn't see anything

except for the woman with a face like a fish.

Does he mean me?

This is a bleeding nightmare!

The whole country's swarming with Germans.

Why was I not told you were here?

Do you have any idea what I had to do down there?

- You're the librarian? - Yes, I am. Congratulations.

The old man's my assistant. The war makes men equal, even women.

Excuse me. Do you have a gentlemen's?

A what?

A gentlemen's. I need the toilet.

Yeah, it's out there.

So they're waiting for me downstairs. Why are you here?

We're looking for the factory that makes the Enigma coding machines.

It's known...

It's known as H20.

- Know anything about it? - No.

Anyone you could ask?

Other people?

Resistance?

Resistance? There is no resistance, old chap.

Resistance is saying we might lose the war, which is enough to get you executed.

So this is the British elite forces?

Maybe the Reich is winning the war after all.

- We're undercover as women. - Oh, really?

Yes. Well, I've tried, but they're hopeless. No sense of posture.

- No style... - Style?

Do you know what it's like here now?

Style is if you pick a curtain for a dress and pretend it's chic.

- Style is... - All right.

We know everything we need to know about how to act like women.

Who would know more about this factory?

General Landsdorf, in charge of armaments and other production.

If anyone's knowing, he does.

How do we get to him? Is he in Berlin?

Yes, he's no frontline soldier.

Parties all day every day at his Schloss.

I could try and get us an inviting. Should I?

You have a nice bottom too, but since I know how to act like a woman...

I don't stare at it blatantly.

Sorry.

I think we should get ourselves an invite to this Schloss.

Spiffing.

I must hurry. Hauptsturmfuehrer's waiting.

There's nothing like a date with the Gestapo.

You left the seat up.

Thanks, love, for saving our lives.

Right. As I'm in command, I'm gonna go to that Schloss party too.

All right, lads. Bit of rest, eh? Bit of sleep.

I bags the sofa!

Looks like she's saved all the banned books.

- I'm gonna stay with the psychoanalysts. - You'll have bad dreams!

At least he'll know what they mean.

I'm gonna look over her bedroom.

Gina!

- What the hell are you doing here? - Taking a walk.

Wave to the nice Nazi.

- He's taking me to meet the general tonight. - Good work.

Me and my best Italian friend, Gina, which is you, sweetheart.

- I was worried about you. - You were worried about me?

Listen, old chap, you and your lot are in over your heads.

- Don't lump... - You don't speak German.

You don't look like a woman. You don't know what you're doing.

- I don't... - Wanna worry? Worry about yourself.

Hey, I'm in charge...

Give me all your cigarettes. Quickly, if you please.

- For what? - A bit of shopping.

You want to look your best tonight, don't you?

Back in a jiffy.

Bitch.

Do you think this dress is going to work?

I've broken your puppet.

Never mind, it's only Gretel.

She's not been the same since I dropped Hansel down a well.

See, her head's always coming off.

We've all lost our head over a Hansel at one time or other.

Is that my robe?

You look like a million bucks.

Wait till you get your dress on.

I found you something with sleeves

since German women don't shave under their arms.

I always do.

What a beautiful car... brand new... and all these buttons!

But nothing compares with you, Fraulein Romy...

Let's go.

Heil Hitler.

It seems they've already started.

Damned bombers! We'll blow you out of the sky!

Still glad you came along, acting major?

Formal dress only. Get back in there. Forget it, man.

Come on. Let me out.

I can't breathe.

Johnno!

- What are you doing? - I'm looking for someone.

Who?

Doesn't matter. Nothing to do with the mission. Get back to the flat.

I'm sorry. I can't do that.

Why not?

I'm lost.

The blue lights are for cover.

The Allied bombs don't even spare our leaders.

The burden laid upon their shoulders...

Look, junior beauty pageant winners from the Rhineland!

Here you can trade your dignity for good coupons?

I wouldn't put it that way.

You must meet the General - a fascinating character! Wait here.

Everything all right?

I'm guessing Landsdorf serves two pricks.

The fuehrer and the one inside of his pants.

I'll make sure he's distracted while you search for his office.

Give Gina a holler if he comes on too strong.

Of course.

Thunderstorm of steel.

Suffering, fear, and misery.

Either the German people break or they become hard.

"Hard as Kruppstahl," as we say.

Translate to him. Out of the ruins comes a new Germany!

Heil Hitler, Herr Generale!

Look, a new Germany out of the ruins!

And you, Herr General, hard as Kruppstahl?

Feed her up, there's nothing to her.

And who is this?

That's my friend Gina from Italy. But actually...

English?

Italia, I think of food.

Prosciutto, pastituccio, red sauce, white sauce.

Like the white sauce, Gina?

I like a strong woman.

A woman who could crush a man's head between her thighs like a ripe melon.

Gina is looking for work. A factory, anything...

I have a job for you Gina. I have a job for you. A job. Come with me.

What a great sense of humour the General has!

You want a job, Gina?

Blow out the candle, I give you a big job.

I like the strong women to punish me. I like that.

I need some fresh air.

We trapped!

Gina!

From the Louvre, from Paris.

Big. You like big, Gina?

All this insurance.

We are close to the end.

Germany finito.

I have to show you something.

Caviar.

Millions of little eggs.

From Rome.

I have stolen them.

For that you have to punish me.

This was evil. Very evil, Gina.

Do it again.

Ti amo! Ti am...

Herr Generale!

There's gonna be hell to pay when I get back.

I'm in charge. I'm in charge!

This used to be such a glamorous place.

Dietrich, Josephine Baker.

All the top stars played here.

My God! Paloma!

She's still doing it!

Is she famous?

She's infamous.

She used to be a Dadaist performance artiste.

And now she does opera with a scarf thing.

- Do you know her? - I was married to her.

Congratulations.

Until she tired of me wearing her clothes and found me in bed with her driver.

But I thought you were...

Clockwise, anticlockwise, both ways at once.

Berlin in the early '30s.

No one cared what time it was.

You were great back there, Romy.

We make a pretty good team.

Wouldn't you say?

Capt. O' Rourke, I don't have time for deciphering codes in my private life.

What?

Are you trying to seduce me or not?

I mean, I don't mind. You're good-looking.

I mean, you probably are in men's clothes or no clothes.

Well, I...

No? Well, there goes the moment.

There's always a moment, and then it's gone.

By the way, what was your first name again?

Sorry folks. That's it for tonight.

Okay you floozies! Get out of here!

You poof.

How did you get back? And you're wearing heels again.

You know I hate that, Nancy.

Can we go home now?

Please?

We weren't there long.

You shouldn't have been there at all! You put us all at risk!

And you put the mission at risk. I'm gonna have to report you.

I'm keeping a note.

- What? - And you, I haven't forgotten.

This isn't a game! It's not a goddamn exercise!

You don't put anything in writing!

We're behind enemy lines!

We're here for one purpose only.

We lose sight of that, and we're dead. Is that clear?

- Would you stop that? - Hey, what's all this shouting?

- This is Franz, he's a friend. - You brought someone back here?

- You can trust him. - He's German!

- You brought him here? - Who is this queen?

- Fritz. - Franz.

I don't care.

Listen, I am not a queen.

Okay? Now, sit your Kraut ass down on that chair.

Don't move until I figure out what to do with you!

That goes for you too, fag!

What did you say?

I said...

Don't insult my friend.

He's "be-sexual." Right?

Right. I have sex with bees.

I never understand why you go around with queens.

Well, they're bigger than bees.

You remember the guitarist?

They were taken to the camps.

Ollie was arrested, and he was castrated.

Better than being shot, I suppose.

There's no one left. All gone.

Just me.

Franz, I don't want to let this go.

You here, me being what I want to be, doing something in the war.

We got to stay together.

How can we? You think the English will welcome German queers?

- Well, I'll stay here, then. - How romantic.

We can be killed together.

I want us to live through this Scheisskrieg!

Both of us, even apart.

I've learned a few tricks.

I've been sleeping with women, you know.

We must keep the Nazis fooled. We must not let them beat us.

- How many women? - What?

How many have you slept with?

- I don't know, 10 or 12. - Twelve?

In seven years. It...

- It had to seem convincing. - Eight is convincing. Twelve is enjoying.

I thought of you all the time.

Oh, yeah. How could you stop from shouting out my name?

Give us a snifter.

Yeah, of course.

You might want to watch yourself around your mate Frankie-boy.

I mean, he's all right, for a Kraut, but...

Franz and I lived together for five years. We're very much in love.

You mean you're...?

Well, actually...

I'm a bisexual lesbian in a man's body.

But it's more complicated than that.

- See, what happens... - No, that's all right.

Well...

wash my windows.

I'm not in any danger, am I?

You'll be fine.

Johnson, what's in those papers I grabbed?

A lot of dull stuff, really.

Payrolls mainly, lists of workers.

Here, project Marchen is our factory. It means "fairy tale."

How do you know that's it?

All the documents are coded using a base eight numeric structure.

So?

So...

the whole of the Third Reich uses Enigma codes. They're alphabetical.

Where's the one place you don't want to use an Enigma code?

Somewhere where any old worker has access to hundreds of machines.

That's gotta be it.

- Where is it? - I don't know.

I very much doubt it would say. That would be crass.

Marchen can mean "little Maria," so maybe it's near a church.

If it was "fairy tale," maybe it could be

Rumpelstilzchen Street or Cinderella Place.

It's called H20, so maybe it's near water.

Maybe it's a fairy story with water in it?

- What's the one where the frog...? - Temporary Major Hartley.

What are your orders, to try to capture the Frog Prince?

All right.

Our flight leaves tomorrow at 1600. While Mr. Johnson is examining the documents

I'll go out and see what I can find on my own.

- I think... - Something to say, temporary major?

The rest of you, including you, cheap shot, will remain rooted to this spot.

You will not go anywhere. You will not touch anything.

You will not talk to anyone or invite them back to play until Daddy gets home.

Is that clear?

You look much better in trousers.

You should do it more often. It really suits you.

Not exactly the safest place to be during an air raid.

We've all got a bomb coming sooner or later.

I'd like to die with a view.

So Paloma joined the Nazi party, and now she's entertaining the troops.

You can't use the verb "entertain" with my ex-wife.

I drive for her, comprende?

Bremen. Travemunde. Tomorrow to Austein we go.

That puppet was made in Austein.

- Austein? - What puppet?

The metal one. Gretel.

Has "produziert in Austein" written on it.

- Austein. The toy factory. - Of course.

- Marchenland. - I must be missing something.

The Schulze factory at Austein, where they make those puppets.

You can visit. It's like a little exhibition.

Sleeping Beauty always was my favorite.

- Mine too! - Oh, really?

It's called Fairy Tale Land, Marchenland.

Message for Col. Aiken.

"The men in the dress have to keep moving, not to be traced."

Could be the perfect place.

They make precision metal toys. Everything's there already.

That would be a bloody good disguise.

Yeah, but even the Nazis wouldn't put an arms plant in a kiddies' fairyland.

"This is Aiken.

Intelligence given accurate to our knowledge.

Good luck."

Poor Gina. She's back in Italy now.

We still have a date to finish. Tonight perhaps?

Austein. H20.

Tonight is really not a good night, but...

So much of Berlin destroyed... But we will rebuild it bigger and better!

Once the Fuehrer has cleaned up...

If you leave at 6 a.m., you'll have 10 hours to do everything and reach the airfield.

Even less. You gotta be in Paloma's limo and away by 2, right?

Bloody big factory to infiltrate. Can't she finish a bit later, just in case?

Paloma never sings extra numbers. Especially not for the Hitler Youth.

But I might be able to delay her a little in her dressing room.

Marvelous! Any other goodies?

Some blank foreign workers' passes with the general's stuff.

Food coupons. Gentlemen, it's party time!

Holy moly!

We have to dress for dinner?

Hey, we solved it!

Marchen refers to a certain fairy tale land.

It's a toy factory just outside Austein.

We're going as foreign workers, see?

Escape will be easy. You'll just borrow Paloma's limo to get to the airfield by 4.

- Paloma? - She's my ex-wife.

You don't wanna go into it.

But we're getting a posh getaway.

Them's our new passes.

Could you stand downwind a bit, captain? You're spoiling my appetite.

H20, you look like you could use some. Shall I draw you a bit of a bath?

So captain, how was your day? Did you find anything?

Yeah, I found some shit.

What is it with you and clocks, old bean?

Nothing.

Go on.

Never move while the clock's chiming, or you might be moving your last.

It's a Civil War thing about this Yankee general that died.

And you believe that?

You gotta believe in something.

Blackout time.

I like this side of you.

Which side is that?

- You're scared. - I'm not scared.

Yes, you are.

How would you kill a man with this?

Through the ribs.

Here?

- Or up through the heart. - Here?

What about with your hands?

Then you go for the neck.

Like this?

Higher.

- Here? - Goddamn, this bell is taking forever.

The bell is done.

That's just the bombs.

We leave at dawn.

Come with me.

I'm German.

And this is my country.

Forgive me for invading your privacy...

Hauptsturmfuehrer, you are drunk!

Yes... No, I'm not drunk... I love you. Let me in!

No, that's impossible. I haven't cleaned up.

Let's go to your place.

Forgive me. Forgive me.

Almost.

Stay.

Archie, you got a pen?

Got pencil.

Didn't he tell us not to put anything in writing?

Don't you get it?

He's never gonna see her again.

Let's go.

That's the bus. Let's go.

This shelter is full. There's another one down the road.

It's all right.

Do you know what time it is?

Why didn't we go to the shelter?

- Because it was a number 13. - So?

After all the things you said about my mouse.

I need the gent's.

Stop where you are! Police!

How many times have I told you to do it sitting down?

You can't make those mistakes. Let's go.

Is he dead?

Yeah. I think so. Very.

He's dead?

Johnno, we're fighting a war. That's why we need to get out of here.

I need a hug.

He's so young. He's the same age as me.

Hey, hey, hey!

Listen...

You can't think like that. He's a German.

- Like Romy. Like Franz. - That's different.

Why?

Because they're on our side.

Perhaps he would have been.

Johnno...

he was gonna shoot you.

Would you rather I had let him kill you?

Romy?

Romy?

England bleeding expects, eh?

Come on.

What is it today?

Austein!

Oh no, not that fairy tale shit again.

Fucking creeps. It's so humiliating.

They love you!

I hope this is the right place.

There's no one here but Little Red Riding Hood.

And the Big Bad Wolf.

I don't know what they're making here, but it sure ain't dolls.

Let's look for a way in around back.

You have to pee?

Let's go.

Not this one, Schatzi. It makes me look like a transvestite.

- What are you doing here? - This is not what you think.

You came all the way to steal my dresses?

No! This is my dress. I made it.

Why can't you ever be a man, like Franz?

Why can't you accept me for who I am?

- You are a freak! - You Nazi slut!

Traitor! Traitor...

What was all that Schatzi stuff?

It's over. She meant nothing.

I hit her. That's how over it is.

Miss Paloma! 10 minutes to go!

She's coming!

Austein! The Enigma! Contact H20!

And a warrant. We've uncovered a traitor.

The suspect is female, dark hair...

Oh, shit.

I can't believe it, we're too pretty.

- What? - Wipe off your lipstick.

She was gonna shoot you.

Now, you stay. Stay!

Tell them to be quiet, be tough. Here, take the gun.

- Take the gun! - I don't use a gun.

Take the gun!

Go.

I can't do this.

- I can't do this. - The set list is at the front.

Carmen stuff. Just keep going until I signal you, okay?

I can't do this.

You said they were Hitler Youth. These are big Nazis.

If you screw up, we'll get shot! Now, go out and do anything!

Forget the Nazis.

Just imagine I'm the only one out there.

Only Franz. Only Franz.

Urgent message from Hauptsturmfuehrer Leibel.

This lady wonders if anybody would like to exchange some potatoes for shoelaces.

Johnno, please say it in Czech as well!

Tell Frenchie not to spit while working. She hit my leg once.

What the hell are you doing? Come on. Let's go. Give me the gun.

I traded it for shoes. The other ones were killing me.

This is wonderful! I know 27 languages, but I never use them.

What'd she say?

She said if Frenchie spits again, she'll piss in her bedding.

Okay. Yeah. Come on.

- I'm just gonna use the toilet. - Hey. Hey!

Johnno.

Let me see.

My first war wound.

So we did it. You got what you needed.

That's not important now.

Oh, God. What happened?

We need a distraction to sneak him out of here.

It's okay. It's okay. It's just a scratch.

Hey, Tony...

I just wanna say, you know, about back there at...

You enjoyed the show.

- Well, what I saw, yeah. - You were great.

Let me out!

Let me out of here!

Why didn't you hand me this earlier, you idiot?

Herr General, this woman claims to be the singer!

I was assaulted by my ex-husband this goddamned transvestite.

Sound the alarm!

The car must be stopped. Get me to the airfield.

Yes, Sir! I'll try to get the reconnaissance zeppelin.

I got all the important bits. Enough to make a complete machine.

- You sure? - Of course, I'm sure.

Spent my life fixing typewriters.

What's an Enigma, except a glorified typewriter, eh?

Archie Hartley, I bleeding love you! All right!

Let's get a move on. Johnno's got more than a scratch there.

Lieutenant Fleiss?

Here we go. Enigma, one, for the use of!

It's past 1600, where the hell's Fleiss?

The great thing about this is

they'll never know this machine was missing.

It's brilliant, isn't it?

I mean, what is the point if they know it's nicked?

Clockwise.

They just change the codes, kick out Enigma, use something else.

This way, they'll never know it was gone.

You're so bleeding clever, you never thought of that, did you?

We've forgotten who the clock is.

Perhaps somebody has thought about that, but they haven't told us.

- Do what? - We're meant to fail.

- We're supposed to get caught. - Son of a bitch!

Goddamn mothering son of a bitch!

What?

They cracked the goddamn codes!

- They already have a machine! - What are you talking about?

They want Jerry to think we still need an Enigma

so they wanted someone who would get caught trying to steal one!

Look at us! They put together a team that would sure as hell screw it up.

A queen,

a pencil pusher,

a bookworm, and Special Agent Almost himself

who never gets the job done.

Fleiss isn't flying us out of here.

There is no Fleiss.

British airforce approaching!

Scramble, scramble, scramble!

I'm very upset with you.

Why?

To be betrayed as a man is bad enough. But as a German, as an officer...

I don't understand...

You're flooding it! Ease up on the choke!

Come on, you guys. Hurry up! The one plane left could be our ticket out.

- Let's go. Hurry up. - Wait.

- I have to take this back. - What?

The Enigma.

I have to surrender it.

If the plan was for failure, it's our duty to fail.

Are you out of your goddamned mind, Hartley? They set us up.

It doesn't matter.

There's bigger things at stake, isn't there?

Like our country,

the war.

Why should we be different from the blokes

who've laid down their lives for what they believe in?

Somebody's gotta get caught trying to steal an Enigma.

Well, I might be daft.

I can understand that.

All right.

Hartley, get back here! Hartley.

We captured him on the runway. An Englishman.

Contact H20 immediately.

The General is already on his way.

Take the Enigma back to Austein. Now.

I suppose you two know each other?

Interesting technique.

Come on. Come on!

All right. Bring Johnno up front, and get him strapped in.

Starter. Starter. Starter.

Here.

238944. Agent Major Hartley.

- Under the Geneva Convention... - Where is your team?

It is not possible that one man is responsible for stealing an Enigma!

- I did it alone. - Alone, acting major?

Not so alone. You seduced her, after all. It's all in here!

She does not have time for complicated codes.

These are codes, then. So tell me, what does this "love of my life" really mean?

Love of my...

L-O-M-L.

Loml? Rommel? What is this stand for, huh? Tell me!

Tell me! Who's with him?

Wait!

I'll tell you.

But could you read the rest of that letter first, please?

You okay?

Shit!

Shit, shit, shit.

All right, I'll be right back. Don't play with the switches.

My God!

Down! Get on the floor!

Down! Get down! Get on the ground!

Down! On the bloody floor. Get down now!

Oh, my God, Romy! Romy?

I got your note.

A spy writing a love letter.

I knew you were an amateur the moment I saw you.

Come on. Let's go.

Listen to me! I have a gun

to your commander's head, so drop your weapon

or I will pull the trigger. Drop it!

You shall drop the weapon, or I will shoot your commander!

- Surrender yourselves now! - You all right?

No! Okay. Okay. Okay.

Wait!

I'm in command. Not him. Me.

I'm in command.

Gina?

So you are Gina?

I'm all right.

Stay down! Stay down!

Stay down! Stay down!

Go! Go!

Come on, hurry up!

Move it! Move it! Move it!

Come on! Go, go, go!

O'Rourke, come on!

O'Rourke!

O'Rourke, shake your bloody ass!

Come on, O'Rourke! Come on!

Come on, hurry up!

I did it. I did it.

Your mouse is proud of you.

Here. Look what the kid gave me.

Franz said the German women

get one of these every time they have a kid.

Called a Mutter Kreuz.

I think you deserved it.

Yeah.

Hey!

- Nice shooting, soldier. - Cheers.

Yeah, not bad for a bunch of queens.

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot!

Fritz still has no idea we've cracked his codes.

For months now, we've been convincing the Germans

with attempts to steal the Enigma, that we 're in desperate need of one.

Holy shit.

As a result, we've been able to keep reading captured documents

crucial to our upcoming invasion plans.

Boys, the ordinary soldier endures hardship and pain.

But I would rather experience that

than the awful weight of responsibilities that I bear

as a commanding officer who...

- Beg your pardon, sir. - I said I would rather...

I believe we have some unfinished business.

I don't know if I'm up to it without a burning Schloss...

or at least an air raid.

Isn't it going to be a bit boring?

~~Synced by SamSid~~