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1
00:00:11,285 --> 00:00:12,632
What? What's so funny?
2
00:00:12,633 --> 00:00:16,113
Oh, that's not the cowboy squirrel,
is it? I hate that thing.
3
00:00:16,114 --> 00:00:18,394
God, I had, like,
40 people send it to me.
4
00:00:18,395 --> 00:00:20,491
No, I'm doing something else.
5
00:00:20,492 --> 00:00:23,031
Oh, do you want to see it?
It's hilarious.
6
00:00:23,032 --> 00:00:25,469
The squirrel is riding
this little dachshund.
7
00:00:25,470 --> 00:00:27,831
No, no, no. I'm doing something,
I'm doing something.
8
00:00:27,832 --> 00:00:30,570
Barb was making fun of my
relationship with Mr. Harris.
9
00:00:30,571 --> 00:00:36,465
Wow, that's not nice. You don't make fun
of a crazy person's imaginary friends.
10
00:00:36,466 --> 00:00:39,581
So anyway, as a joke,
I'm doctoring up this e-mail
11
00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:42,648
from Mr. Harris about some stupid
parking thing at the school.
12
00:00:42,649 --> 00:00:45,369
I'm making it dirty for Barb.
13
00:00:45,787 --> 00:00:47,568
Wow, you have time for this,
but you've been driving
14
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:50,434
with an expired driver's
license for over a month?
15
00:00:50,435 --> 00:00:54,056
Okay, look, I'm gonna tell you what
I told the police officer yesterday.
16
00:00:54,057 --> 00:00:56,167
I am waiting for my
bangs to grow out
17
00:00:56,168 --> 00:00:58,888
so I can take a cute picture.
18
00:00:59,797 --> 00:01:01,724
Okay, come here, come here,
listen to this, listen, listen.
19
00:01:01,725 --> 00:01:03,884
So, see here?
It says, "As of Monday the 14th,"
20
00:01:03,885 --> 00:01:07,544
I am designating the white zone for
dropping off students only," right?
21
00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:09,647
I change it to...
22
00:01:09,648 --> 00:01:14,096
"As of... As of Monday the 14th,
I am designating Christine's house
23
00:01:14,097 --> 00:01:16,883
for dropping my pants only."
24
00:01:20,277 --> 00:01:22,777
Oh, that's sexy.
25
00:01:24,446 --> 00:01:28,016
You really don't know anymore,
do you?
26
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:30,656
No.
27
00:01:37,116 --> 00:01:37,977
Hey.
28
00:01:37,978 --> 00:01:38,745
Hey.
29
00:01:38,746 --> 00:01:40,235
I just came by to
get my checkbook.
30
00:01:40,236 --> 00:01:41,385
You didn't see it, did you?
31
00:01:41,386 --> 00:01:44,874
Uh, I think I saw it
bouncing on Ritchie's desk.
32
00:01:44,875 --> 00:01:45,666
Thanks.
33
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:46,927
Christine, you remember Tom.
34
00:01:46,928 --> 00:01:47,926
Hey, Christine.
35
00:01:47,927 --> 00:01:50,216
Hey, long time no see.
How's it hanging?
36
00:01:50,217 --> 00:01:53,757
Try not to be sucked
in by her charm.
37
00:01:54,058 --> 00:01:56,155
You and Richard are working
together again, Todd?
38
00:01:56,156 --> 00:01:59,775
Yeah, yeah, we are. You know that
old firehouse in Culver City?
39
00:01:59,776 --> 00:02:01,094
Oh, yeah, I love that building.
40
00:02:01,095 --> 00:02:03,775
Yeah, tearing it down.
It's gonna be a Trader Joe's.
41
00:02:03,776 --> 00:02:05,607
Oh, I love Trader Joe's.
42
00:02:05,608 --> 00:02:06,704
Yeah, yeah.
43
00:02:06,705 --> 00:02:09,135
- So, you look good, Todd.
- Why, thank you, thanks.
44
00:02:09,136 --> 00:02:11,657
You know, I've been, uh, keeping my
beard a little shorter these days,
45
00:02:11,658 --> 00:02:14,825
and I get this, uh,
this moisturizer for my face,
46
00:02:14,826 --> 00:02:17,400
which is, uh... boring.
47
00:02:17,966 --> 00:02:19,015
You look good.
48
00:02:19,016 --> 00:02:22,746
Oh, well,
I don't know about "stunning."
49
00:02:24,856 --> 00:02:26,987
I don't think
I said "stunning."
50
00:02:26,988 --> 00:02:29,488
Oh, thank you!
51
00:02:31,248 --> 00:02:34,974
Uh, so anyway, are you, uh,
seeing anybody these days?
52
00:02:34,975 --> 00:02:38,195
Uh, well, you know, sort of.
N... Uh, no.
53
00:02:38,196 --> 00:02:39,714
You know, it's complicated.
54
00:02:39,715 --> 00:02:42,045
Oh, I understand--
I just got out of complicated.
55
00:02:42,046 --> 00:02:44,716
Or actually, my lawyers just
got me out of complicated.
56
00:02:44,717 --> 00:02:47,592
Anyway, now I'm, uh, single.
57
00:02:47,698 --> 00:02:49,856
Single, wildly
successful architect
58
00:02:49,857 --> 00:02:53,057
with a short beard
and moist skin.
59
00:02:53,938 --> 00:02:54,997
Okay.
60
00:02:54,998 --> 00:02:57,327
So, what do you think?
Maybe we could grab dinner sometime.
61
00:02:57,328 --> 00:03:00,707
Oh, eh, dinner?
Um, well, I'll, um...
62
00:03:00,708 --> 00:03:02,926
Okay, I got it. You ready?
63
00:03:02,927 --> 00:03:06,564
Yeah. Just a sec. What do you think?
maybe this week or next week or, uh...
64
00:03:06,565 --> 00:03:08,976
really any day except for,
uh, Memorial Day,
65
00:03:08,977 --> 00:03:11,255
'cause my folks have a
big barbecue on Mem...
66
00:03:11,256 --> 00:03:13,654
Hey, would you like
to go to a barbecue?
67
00:03:13,655 --> 00:03:15,147
Wait. Wait.
68
00:03:15,148 --> 00:03:16,146
What's happening?
69
00:03:16,147 --> 00:03:20,016
I'm just asking your ex-wife out
on a date. Is that weird for you?
70
00:03:20,017 --> 00:03:21,246
A little, yeah.
71
00:03:21,247 --> 00:03:24,657
Oh. Well,
then go wait in the truck.
72
00:03:28,795 --> 00:03:30,455
Um, you know what?
73
00:03:30,456 --> 00:03:33,436
Oh, Todd, you know what,
I really, I can't go out with you.
74
00:03:33,437 --> 00:03:35,536
I'm not really doing
that right now,
75
00:03:35,537 --> 00:03:38,774
but thank you so much for asking.
That's so nice. Thank you.
76
00:03:38,775 --> 00:03:40,117
Okay, okay.
Well, if you change your mind,
77
00:03:40,118 --> 00:03:42,806
I'd love to take you out to a nice,
you know, a really nice restaurant.
78
00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:45,495
I mean,
I have a brand-new Saab convertible.
79
00:03:45,496 --> 00:03:49,095
I'm thinking about getting a...
a poodle-- you know, not the girly kind.
80
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,707
- I mean, the giant kind.
- Yeah.
81
00:03:51,708 --> 00:03:54,034
Yeah. I don't know if any of
this is of interest to you,
82
00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:56,907
but I'm just gonna throw it all out
there and see if anything... you know.
83
00:03:56,908 --> 00:03:59,408
Okay, well, you know what?
84
00:03:59,726 --> 00:04:04,144
I don't know, maybe some other time,
you know, when my bangs grow out.
85
00:04:04,145 --> 00:04:07,355
Gosh, I have no idea what that means,
but thanks anyway.
86
00:04:07,356 --> 00:04:09,925
- 'Kay. All right.
- All right.
87
00:04:09,926 --> 00:04:11,236
Don't be upset.
88
00:04:11,237 --> 00:04:12,497
You dodged a bullet.
89
00:04:12,498 --> 00:04:13,555
Yeah.
90
00:04:13,556 --> 00:04:16,056
Hey, the man knows.
91
00:04:17,227 --> 00:04:20,035
Hey, you want me to read this to
you before I send it to Barb?
92
00:04:20,036 --> 00:04:22,536
It's so funny.
93
00:04:22,988 --> 00:04:25,956
Wha... What election
are you talking about?
94
00:04:25,957 --> 00:04:29,447
That's supposed to
be an "R." Thanks.
95
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:36,085
Uh, did you mean to do that?
96
00:04:36,086 --> 00:04:36,954
What?
97
00:04:36,955 --> 00:04:39,502
Uh, you hit "reply all."
98
00:04:41,757 --> 00:04:43,254
What is that?
99
00:04:43,255 --> 00:04:47,035
Uh, well, you sent it to all the
parents that Mr. Harris sent it to,
100
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,536
and to Mr. Harris.
101
00:04:50,485 --> 00:04:51,885
Oh, no.
102
00:04:51,886 --> 00:04:54,776
Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, unsend, unsend.
103
00:04:54,777 --> 00:04:57,486
No, no, you just sent it ag...
and again and again and again.
104
00:04:57,487 --> 00:05:00,405
- Matthew, make this stop.
- You got to stop hitting that button.
105
00:05:00,406 --> 00:05:02,206
Oh, God! Oh, my God!
No, no, no.
106
00:05:02,207 --> 00:05:04,707
No, no, no, no...
107
00:05:06,546 --> 00:05:11,096
Good, you got it just
before it reached the wall.
108
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,855
Okay, you know what?
I got to run.
109
00:05:19,856 --> 00:05:21,897
I'll pick you up
after school, okay?
110
00:05:21,898 --> 00:05:23,145
But I don't have
any milk money.
111
00:05:23,146 --> 00:05:24,955
Just take it from a
smaller kid, okay?
112
00:05:24,956 --> 00:05:28,176
I got to get out of here.
Go, go.
113
00:05:28,468 --> 00:05:30,367
Oh, damn it!
114
00:05:30,368 --> 00:05:31,524
Hello, Christine.
115
00:05:31,525 --> 00:05:35,414
Okay, first of all, let me just say,
that e-mail was a complete joke.
116
00:05:35,415 --> 00:05:36,657
So let's just drop it.
117
00:05:36,658 --> 00:05:39,637
Well, we'd love to, but somehow Ms.
Hammond came across your e-mail,
118
00:05:39,638 --> 00:05:41,225
and now she wants to see you.
119
00:05:41,226 --> 00:05:42,564
Ms. Hammond?
120
00:05:42,565 --> 00:05:43,776
The gym teacher?
121
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,454
And head of the
ethics committee.
122
00:05:46,455 --> 00:05:49,544
No, no, I thought Mr. Saunders
was head of the ethics committee.
123
00:05:49,545 --> 00:05:51,234
Yeah, he had to step down.
124
00:05:51,235 --> 00:05:52,077
Why?
125
00:05:52,078 --> 00:05:54,867
Well, it's not an appropriate
conversation for the school yard.
126
00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:58,278
You know...
wah, wah, ah-ah-ah-ah...
127
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,316
How did Coach Hammond
get my e-mail?
128
00:06:05,317 --> 00:06:06,606
Oh, I sent it to her.
129
00:06:06,607 --> 00:06:08,694
See, I have children at
this school, Christine,
130
00:06:08,695 --> 00:06:11,334
and if they find out about this,
they might have difficult questions,
131
00:06:11,335 --> 00:06:13,457
and then they might bring
those questions to me.
132
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:15,096
And I like to keep
my nights free.
133
00:06:15,097 --> 00:06:17,597
Yeah.
134
00:06:29,618 --> 00:06:33,747
- Daniel, I am so sorry about this.
- No talking, please.
135
00:06:33,748 --> 00:06:36,248
This is my time.
136
00:06:37,836 --> 00:06:40,177
Sorry.
137
00:06:40,178 --> 00:06:43,726
You're not gonna make us run laps,
are ya?
138
00:06:43,727 --> 00:06:45,655
Sorry.
139
00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:48,007
You think this is funny,
Mrs. Campbell?
140
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,045
You think it's funny that
a parent at this school
141
00:06:50,046 --> 00:06:52,961
has been caught having a completely
inappropriate relationship
142
00:06:52,962 --> 00:06:54,768
with a member of the faculty?
143
00:06:54,769 --> 00:06:57,919
A relationship of
a sexual nature?
144
00:06:58,797 --> 00:07:01,297
You think that's funny?
145
00:07:01,399 --> 00:07:03,899
No.
146
00:07:04,585 --> 00:07:07,735
You're in deep custard here,
Mrs. Campbell.
147
00:07:07,736 --> 00:07:09,775
Really, you might want to
pull yourself together.
148
00:07:09,776 --> 00:07:13,605
Mm. It's just, uh, you're right,
it's-it's not funny.
149
00:07:13,606 --> 00:07:18,336
I just have a history of
inappropriate reactions to, um....
150
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:20,837
authority figures.
151
00:07:21,638 --> 00:07:24,420
This is a very serious matter.
152
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:29,158
I suggest you get your
berries back in the basket.
153
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:33,515
Sorry.
154
00:07:34,057 --> 00:07:36,847
The e-mail was meant to be a joke,
Coach Hammond.
155
00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:38,475
I knew that,
and I didn't take it seriously at all.
156
00:07:38,476 --> 00:07:41,035
Yeah, I was supposed to
send it to my friend Barb--
157
00:07:41,036 --> 00:07:43,395
we send each other funny
e-mails all the time--
158
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:46,174
and this was supposed to be funny,
and then it got...
159
00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:47,954
sexy, so...
160
00:07:47,955 --> 00:07:50,137
And dangerous--
I don't think you're understanding
161
00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:52,277
the seriousness
of the situation.
162
00:07:52,278 --> 00:07:55,773
You are on hot
skittles here, lady.
163
00:07:56,255 --> 00:07:58,225
I am so sorry.
164
00:07:58,226 --> 00:08:02,926
And, as I'm sure both of you know,
Westbridge has a very strict policy
165
00:08:02,927 --> 00:08:05,895
against faculty-parent
relationships.
166
00:08:05,896 --> 00:08:07,396
And for good reason--
167
00:08:07,397 --> 00:08:14,537
what do you think would happen if I took
up with every parent that hit on me?
168
00:08:14,968 --> 00:08:18,611
I wear shorts year-round,
Mr. Harris.
169
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:26,345
You know, I'm telling you,
that e-mail was supposed to be a joke.
170
00:08:26,346 --> 00:08:29,096
It could get Mr. Harris fired.
171
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:33,078
Not so funny now, is it?
172
00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:35,517
You were saying?
173
00:08:35,518 --> 00:08:40,225
Uh, well, I was saying that Mr. Harris
and I do not have a relationship.
174
00:08:40,226 --> 00:08:42,227
- Is that true, Mr. Harris?
- Absolutely.
175
00:08:42,228 --> 00:08:44,127
- See?
- In fact, I'm seeing someone.
176
00:08:44,128 --> 00:08:45,665
What?
177
00:08:45,666 --> 00:08:49,736
Well, it's only been
for a couple of weeks.
178
00:08:51,278 --> 00:08:53,778
Well, so that's, uh...
179
00:08:54,096 --> 00:08:57,042
Congratulations... to you.
180
00:08:58,766 --> 00:09:02,864
Uh... so, you see that? And, you know,
I mean, there's no possibility
181
00:09:02,865 --> 00:09:08,037
of us having a relationship,
because Mr. Harris is in love.
182
00:09:08,038 --> 00:09:10,885
- Christine, I'm not...
- All right.
183
00:09:10,886 --> 00:09:12,365
Consider this a warning.
184
00:09:12,366 --> 00:09:16,875
But you can be sure I'll
have my eye on both of you.
185
00:09:16,876 --> 00:09:19,432
Especially you, Mr. Harris.
186
00:09:29,305 --> 00:09:31,004
Well, I better go.
187
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,506
Yeah. I should be
getting back to class.
188
00:09:32,507 --> 00:09:33,487
I'll walk with you.
189
00:09:33,488 --> 00:09:35,537
Oh, no, that's not necessary.
190
00:09:35,538 --> 00:09:39,218
I am perfectly capable
of walking alone.
191
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:45,076
Have a, uh,
nice day, Mr. Harris.
192
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:51,404
I can't believe he's seeing someone--
for a couple of weeks!
193
00:09:51,405 --> 00:09:55,827
That means he was seeing someone when
I Google-mapped his home address.
194
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:58,495
Oh, by the way,
I looked up the comps in that area.
195
00:09:58,496 --> 00:10:01,717
He bought that place
at the right time.
196
00:10:01,718 --> 00:10:06,586
How could he give up the chance to
be with a nice stalker like you?
197
00:10:06,587 --> 00:10:09,754
So you can't send an e-mail,
but you can Google-map
198
00:10:09,755 --> 00:10:12,017
and run real estate comps?
199
00:10:12,018 --> 00:10:14,518
I made Ritchie do it.
200
00:10:17,645 --> 00:10:19,247
Anyway, you were right,
all right?
201
00:10:19,248 --> 00:10:22,245
I'm completely alone
in this relationship.
202
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:24,445
I mean,
while I was busy pining for him,
203
00:10:24,446 --> 00:10:26,497
he was busy getting
on with his life.
204
00:10:26,498 --> 00:10:28,998
Oh, I am so embarrassed.
205
00:10:29,607 --> 00:10:31,206
Well...
206
00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:32,766
I've tried everything.
207
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:35,496
For some reason,
Tom still wants to go out with you.
208
00:10:35,497 --> 00:10:37,016
Who?
209
00:10:37,017 --> 00:10:38,916
An architect friend of mine.
210
00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:40,736
I've known him ten years,
and, God knows why,
211
00:10:40,737 --> 00:10:42,767
he's always had a
crush on Christine.
212
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,807
What do you mean,
"God knows why"?
213
00:10:44,808 --> 00:10:47,308
Look at me.
214
00:10:48,675 --> 00:10:50,295
I tried talking him out of it.
215
00:10:50,296 --> 00:10:53,155
I told him she was high-maintenance,
that she never lets go of a grudge--
216
00:10:53,156 --> 00:10:54,234
he didn't care.
217
00:10:54,235 --> 00:10:56,307
He thinks she's
sweet on the inside.
218
00:10:56,308 --> 00:11:00,874
I even took out Ritchie's birth video and
showed him what she's like on the inside.
219
00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:04,617
What? Richard,
you don't show people my birth video.
220
00:11:04,618 --> 00:11:07,738
I thought it would
end his crush.
221
00:11:08,038 --> 00:11:09,917
Even I've never seen
the birth video,
222
00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:12,668
and I've seen terrible things.
223
00:11:13,178 --> 00:11:14,607
So, what do you want
me to tell him?
224
00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:15,875
You want to go out
with him or not?
225
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,396
I don't think so.
226
00:11:17,397 --> 00:11:18,746
Does he make good money?
227
00:11:18,747 --> 00:11:20,046
More money than me.
228
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,547
That wasn't my question.
229
00:11:23,276 --> 00:11:24,735
Yeah, he makes good money.
230
00:11:24,736 --> 00:11:25,974
Is he smart?
231
00:11:25,975 --> 00:11:27,754
He's smarter than me.
232
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:30,255
Yeah, he's smart.
233
00:11:30,645 --> 00:11:32,825
- She'll go out with him.
- What? Barb,
234
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,367
it's not your decision to make.
235
00:11:34,368 --> 00:11:37,837
Look, he's a real man with
a real interest in you.
236
00:11:37,838 --> 00:11:40,127
You got to stop using
these fantasy relationships
237
00:11:40,128 --> 00:11:42,575
to avoid the real thing.
238
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,024
I know. You're right.
239
00:11:44,025 --> 00:11:46,554
All right,
you can tell him I'll go out with him.
240
00:11:46,555 --> 00:11:48,625
But tell him I'm
on the rebound.
241
00:11:48,626 --> 00:11:51,126
Pretend rebound.
242
00:11:51,958 --> 00:11:53,857
And tell him I don't put out.
243
00:11:53,858 --> 00:11:56,358
Pretend don't-put-out.
244
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:05,891
- Ah, this is great.
- Yeah.
245
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,503
This is so great.
You know what?
246
00:12:07,504 --> 00:12:10,181
I have wanted to go out
with you for five years.
247
00:12:10,182 --> 00:12:12,847
Oh, wow. Oh.
248
00:12:12,954 --> 00:12:15,853
You know, in fact, when you and
Richard were still together,
249
00:12:15,854 --> 00:12:20,004
I used to secretly hope
you'd get a divorce.
250
00:12:20,371 --> 00:12:22,871
Me, too.
251
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:28,532
You know what,
I once even Google-mapped your house.
252
00:12:29,322 --> 00:12:32,557
Todd, a little stalkery.
253
00:12:32,884 --> 00:12:35,382
I know, I know,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
254
00:12:35,383 --> 00:12:37,883
Please, call me Tom.
255
00:12:39,393 --> 00:12:40,401
Why?
256
00:12:40,402 --> 00:12:43,097
Oh, because it's my name.
257
00:12:44,892 --> 00:12:48,053
But I've been calling
you Todd for five years.
258
00:12:48,054 --> 00:12:52,091
I know, I know, I know.
I thought about changing it for you.
259
00:12:52,092 --> 00:12:55,872
But I didn't.
Not so stalkery after all.
260
00:12:59,963 --> 00:13:01,042
Are you okay?
261
00:13:01,043 --> 00:13:03,612
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just...
my stomach's a little, uh...
262
00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:06,962
it's just lately it's been... You know
what, I think I'm just gonna have to...
263
00:13:06,963 --> 00:13:11,043
I'm going to go use the, uh...
You know, I'm just... excuse me.
264
00:13:11,044 --> 00:13:13,310
Do you want me to
order us a drink?
265
00:13:13,311 --> 00:13:15,590
You know what,
maybe some bubble water. Okay?
266
00:13:15,591 --> 00:13:17,181
And please...
267
00:13:17,182 --> 00:13:19,682
please don't leave.
268
00:13:34,861 --> 00:13:36,262
Christine.
269
00:13:36,263 --> 00:13:37,322
Hi.
270
00:13:37,323 --> 00:13:40,419
Daniel. Oh, hi. You're here?
271
00:13:40,524 --> 00:13:42,070
Yeah, this is one of my
favorite restaurants.
272
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,302
I live right around the corner.
273
00:13:43,303 --> 00:13:44,732
Oh, right, on Cloverdale.
274
00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:47,233
Or...
275
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:50,780
you know, thereabouts.
I mean, I don't know.
276
00:13:50,781 --> 00:13:54,742
Hey, I, uh...
I feel so terrible about that e-mail.
277
00:13:54,743 --> 00:13:56,780
It was so immature.
278
00:13:56,781 --> 00:13:58,641
I didn't mean to
get you in trouble.
279
00:13:58,642 --> 00:14:00,002
Ah, I don't think
we're in trouble.
280
00:14:00,003 --> 00:14:04,520
Seemed to have gotten our
berries back in the basket.
281
00:14:04,521 --> 00:14:07,032
So, what are you doing here,
you picking up some takeout?
282
00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:08,601
Actually, I'm meeting my date.
283
00:14:08,602 --> 00:14:10,192
Oh, right.
284
00:14:10,193 --> 00:14:12,693
You're in love.
285
00:14:12,801 --> 00:14:15,172
Yeah, well,
I'm here on a date, too.
286
00:14:15,173 --> 00:14:17,673
Really?
287
00:14:18,223 --> 00:14:21,239
Do you see him there right now?
288
00:14:21,552 --> 00:14:24,411
Oh, no.
No, no, no, he's in the restroom.
289
00:14:24,412 --> 00:14:25,501
Yeah.
290
00:14:25,502 --> 00:14:26,652
Enjoy your evening.
291
00:14:26,653 --> 00:14:29,153
- Okay. You, too.
- Okay.
292
00:14:34,603 --> 00:14:37,320
I really don't think
I want to be seeing this.
293
00:14:37,321 --> 00:14:39,152
Am I going to throw up?
294
00:14:39,153 --> 00:14:40,800
No. It's beautiful.
295
00:14:40,801 --> 00:14:42,470
It's the miracle of life.
296
00:14:42,471 --> 00:14:44,013
And it's tastefully shot.
297
00:14:44,014 --> 00:14:46,524
You won't see anything bad.
298
00:14:49,634 --> 00:14:52,134
Except that.
299
00:14:52,163 --> 00:14:53,751
And that.
300
00:14:53,752 --> 00:14:57,141
Wait, hold on,
I'm trying to get my bearings.
301
00:14:57,142 --> 00:15:00,152
That's Christine,
that's the doctor...
302
00:15:00,153 --> 00:15:01,930
What is that?!
303
00:15:01,931 --> 00:15:04,431
Do I have one of those?
304
00:15:04,742 --> 00:15:06,531
Is that Ritchie?
305
00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:10,152
No, no, you don't see Ritchie
for another two hours.
306
00:15:10,153 --> 00:15:12,983
Well, now I've seen everything.
307
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:16,577
Oop. Nope. There's everything.
308
00:15:19,401 --> 00:15:22,169
Hey... sorry about that.
309
00:15:22,273 --> 00:15:23,271
That's okay.
310
00:15:23,272 --> 00:15:24,371
Everything okay?
311
00:15:24,372 --> 00:15:28,042
Yeah, everything's good.
It was a, uh...
312
00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:30,401
false alarm.
313
00:15:30,402 --> 00:15:33,573
Would you like to, you know,
I don't know, do this another time?
314
00:15:33,574 --> 00:15:35,970
No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
No, I'm just gonna...
315
00:15:35,971 --> 00:15:39,393
I'm going to power through this.
I've been waiting...
316
00:15:39,394 --> 00:15:41,533
I have been waiting
five years for tonight.
317
00:15:41,534 --> 00:15:43,881
Nothing is going to
ruin this evening.
318
00:15:43,882 --> 00:15:46,490
Oh, I hope you don't mind,
I ordered some appetizers.
319
00:15:46,491 --> 00:15:49,550
Spicy prawns with peanut sauce
and cream cheese wantons.
320
00:15:49,551 --> 00:15:52,051
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
321
00:15:58,102 --> 00:16:00,612
Doesn't that smell so good?
322
00:16:01,452 --> 00:16:04,131
You know,
I'm going to have to be right back.
323
00:16:04,132 --> 00:16:06,141
- Is everything okay?
- Oh, it's great, great. Super.
324
00:16:06,142 --> 00:16:07,393
Having the best time
of my life, really.
325
00:16:07,394 --> 00:16:12,154
You know what,
I'd love to hear more about Ritchie.
326
00:16:25,603 --> 00:16:26,653
Hey.
327
00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:27,633
Hey.
328
00:16:27,634 --> 00:16:28,842
How's your date going?
329
00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:30,412
Good.
330
00:16:30,413 --> 00:16:32,913
I think he has diarrhea.
331
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:36,681
You want a prawn?
332
00:16:36,682 --> 00:16:37,981
I think I'm good.
333
00:16:37,982 --> 00:16:40,482
But way to sell 'em.
334
00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:41,671
You want to sit down?
335
00:16:41,672 --> 00:16:43,891
Oh, yeah, might as well.
Where's your date?
336
00:16:43,892 --> 00:16:46,521
- I might be getting stood up.
- Oh, yeah, right.
337
00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:48,463
Women don't stand you up.
338
00:16:48,464 --> 00:16:50,631
What, do you think
dating is easy for me?
339
00:16:50,632 --> 00:16:54,210
Well, if I looked like
you I'd just date myself.
340
00:16:54,211 --> 00:16:57,090
Yeah, well, I tried that in junior
high school, but we had to break up
341
00:16:57,091 --> 00:17:00,951
when my mom took the
door off my bedroom.
342
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:03,100
Yeah. Now, who is this guy?
343
00:17:03,101 --> 00:17:05,253
Oh, I've known him forever.
344
00:17:05,254 --> 00:17:06,290
Todd.
345
00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:09,099
Er, uh, Tom, I guess.
346
00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:11,763
Yeah, my ex fixed
me up with him.
347
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:14,941
You know, my friends and my
family think that I have to stop
348
00:17:14,942 --> 00:17:18,390
having imaginary relationships
with unattainable men.
349
00:17:18,391 --> 00:17:20,310
Who have you been having an
imaginary relationship with?
350
00:17:20,311 --> 00:17:22,811
Taylor Hicks.
351
00:17:29,372 --> 00:17:31,473
So, what about, uh...
what about your date?
352
00:17:31,474 --> 00:17:32,792
What is she like?
353
00:17:32,793 --> 00:17:34,782
She's nice. It's still early.
354
00:17:34,783 --> 00:17:36,622
Yeah. She pretty?
355
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:37,701
Kind of.
356
00:17:37,702 --> 00:17:40,161
She was Miss Maryland.
357
00:17:40,162 --> 00:17:42,430
Maryland.
358
00:17:42,431 --> 00:17:44,931
It's a small state.
359
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:47,832
Hey.
360
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,310
Christine, I'm just
going to have to...
361
00:17:50,311 --> 00:17:53,101
nip over to the drug
store for just a minute.
362
00:17:53,102 --> 00:17:54,983
But I'll be back.
I'll be back right away.
363
00:17:54,984 --> 00:17:56,062
Oh. Well, let me go with you.
364
00:17:56,063 --> 00:17:59,790
No, no, no, no. Under no circumstances
do I want you to come with me for this.
365
00:17:59,791 --> 00:18:01,550
Besides, you've found a...
366
00:18:01,551 --> 00:18:04,102
super handsome guy to
talk to. That's...
367
00:18:04,103 --> 00:18:09,343
the evening's going pretty
much exactly as I had planned.
368
00:18:11,232 --> 00:18:13,732
Please don't leave.
369
00:18:16,991 --> 00:18:19,083
Wow.
370
00:18:19,084 --> 00:18:20,783
- He's quick.
- Yeah.
371
00:18:20,784 --> 00:18:23,824
And he's getting
a giant poodle.
372
00:18:29,703 --> 00:18:31,190
Hey.
373
00:18:31,191 --> 00:18:33,972
I am sorry that you found out
about me dating the way you did.
374
00:18:33,973 --> 00:18:37,381
I would have told you myself,
but it just seemed sort of presumptuous.
375
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:38,600
I didn't think you'd even care.
376
00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:40,780
I don't. I don't.
And you don't owe me anything.
377
00:18:40,781 --> 00:18:43,101
I mean, I hardly even know you.
378
00:18:43,102 --> 00:18:46,302
Well, what would
you like to know?
379
00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:11,534
I moved her backin with my mom.
380
00:19:11,535 --> 00:19:17,113
I thought of it as payback for all the
times she used to hit me with her slipper.
381
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,943
Okay, okay, I've been...
I've been talking all night.
382
00:19:19,944 --> 00:19:21,314
Tell me something
else about you.
383
00:19:21,315 --> 00:19:23,874
Oh, you know everything.
Single mom.
384
00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:26,124
Own my own business.
385
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,625
Miss Universe.
386
00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:32,125
What? What's the matter?
387
00:19:32,126 --> 00:19:35,326
- I'm just doing it again.
- What?
388
00:19:35,935 --> 00:19:38,995
Well, I mean, you know, we're
sitting here and talking and laughing
389
00:19:38,996 --> 00:19:41,812
and getting to know each other.
390
00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:44,543
But, obviously, you're waiting
for your real date to arrive
391
00:19:44,544 --> 00:19:47,345
and my brain is just turning
this into something else.
392
00:19:47,346 --> 00:19:48,145
What?
393
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,745
Daniel.
394
00:19:49,746 --> 00:19:50,732
Regina.
395
00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:52,183
Hey.
396
00:19:52,184 --> 00:19:54,543
I'm so sorry.
I got called back into surgery.
397
00:19:54,544 --> 00:19:56,794
Oh, are you all right?
398
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:59,295
I'm a doctor.
399
00:20:00,975 --> 00:20:03,044
Regina, I'd like you to
meet Christine Campbell.
400
00:20:03,045 --> 00:20:05,174
She's a mother at the school.
401
00:20:05,175 --> 00:20:06,673
Hi. Nice to meet you.
402
00:20:06,674 --> 00:20:08,863
Hi. Did you eat already?
403
00:20:08,864 --> 00:20:09,872
A little, yeah.
404
00:20:09,873 --> 00:20:11,964
Oh, that's fine.
I'll grab something at the movies.
405
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:14,175
Let me catch the valet
before he takes my car.
406
00:20:14,176 --> 00:20:16,262
Nice to meet you, Christine.
407
00:20:16,263 --> 00:20:18,763
Feel better.
408
00:20:21,864 --> 00:20:23,333
I guess I have a date.
409
00:20:23,334 --> 00:20:25,263
Yeah, guess you do.
410
00:20:25,264 --> 00:20:28,285
Well, you know,
try and have fun with...
411
00:20:28,286 --> 00:20:30,502
Dr. Beautiful.
412
00:20:30,503 --> 00:20:32,144
And you enjoy Todd.
413
00:20:32,145 --> 00:20:33,955
Or is it Tom?
414
00:20:33,956 --> 00:20:36,456
I don't know.
415
00:20:37,673 --> 00:20:39,922
And by the way,
416
00:20:39,923 --> 00:20:42,044
the only reason
I'm going out with her
417
00:20:42,045 --> 00:20:45,455
is so I can stop
thinking about you.
418
00:20:58,744 --> 00:21:01,419
Well... I am fine.
419
00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:06,622
Whatever it was,
it seems to have passed, thanks to a...
420
00:21:06,623 --> 00:21:09,464
very delightful
pharmacist and, uh...
421
00:21:09,465 --> 00:21:11,965
a great deal of luck.
422
00:21:12,456 --> 00:21:16,052
So, what do you say,
why don't we start over?
423
00:21:16,053 --> 00:21:18,553
What looks good?
424
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:28,295
No wonder she pees
when she sneezes.
425
00:21:30,005 --> 00:21:33,445
I'm never going to be able
to look at her again.
426
00:21:33,446 --> 00:21:38,496
I'm never going to be able
to eat veal parmesan again.
31857
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