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1
00:00:11,092 --> 00:00:12,616
Who's that?
2
00:00:12,794 --> 00:00:14,762
That's the father.
3
00:00:14,929 --> 00:00:16,487
Why's he running away?
4
00:00:16,664 --> 00:00:20,122
- He's not, he's going after that woman.
- Why?
5
00:00:20,301 --> 00:00:24,635
She thinks their kids are in that house
and he doesn't want her to go in there.
6
00:00:24,806 --> 00:00:26,569
Because it's haunted?
7
00:00:26,841 --> 00:00:28,399
No, because it's on fire.
8
00:00:28,576 --> 00:00:31,545
We just watched a whole scene
about that.
9
00:00:33,314 --> 00:00:35,373
Hey, kiddo. What are you watching?
10
00:00:35,550 --> 00:00:36,881
This awesome movie.
11
00:00:37,051 --> 00:00:41,010
The fireman, he trapped his kids
in a haunted house and he set it on fire.
12
00:00:43,224 --> 00:00:45,215
Matthew, I don't think
he should be watching this.
13
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,623
He's not.
I don't know what movie he's watching.
14
00:00:49,964 --> 00:00:51,192
Christine!
15
00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:53,230
What'd she make for dinner?
I'm starving.
16
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:56,802
Oh, no dinner. She's out with a guy.
17
00:00:58,573 --> 00:01:00,165
On a date?
18
00:01:00,341 --> 00:01:02,400
No, it's not just a date. A fifth date.
19
00:01:02,577 --> 00:01:05,068
Oh. Who's the guy?
20
00:01:05,246 --> 00:01:06,474
Burton. Some attorney.
21
00:01:06,647 --> 00:01:08,877
Drives a Jag. She's way into him.
22
00:01:09,050 --> 00:01:11,314
Fifth date.
23
00:01:13,654 --> 00:01:15,281
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
24
00:01:15,456 --> 00:01:18,653
You think I'll flip out because my ex-wife
is dating the same guy a couple times.
25
00:01:18,826 --> 00:01:22,023
Not a couple, five. Five. Five.
26
00:01:22,196 --> 00:01:24,596
Give me a what? Five.
27
00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:33,067
You know, I was hoping
I wouldn't have to bring this up...
28
00:01:33,241 --> 00:01:35,368
...but tonight
is our fifth date anniversary...
29
00:01:35,543 --> 00:01:39,070
...and I was kind of looking forward
to a gift.
30
00:01:39,247 --> 00:01:43,013
Ha. I got you something,
but it isn't wrapped.
31
00:01:43,184 --> 00:01:45,744
- Oh, where is it?
- In my pants.
32
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,012
[LAUGHS]
33
00:01:47,188 --> 00:01:48,985
Oh, my God!
34
00:01:49,157 --> 00:01:50,249
Oh.
35
00:01:50,424 --> 00:01:53,916
You can't give me the same thing
you gave me for our fourth date anniversary.
36
00:01:54,095 --> 00:01:56,029
[BOTH LAUGH]
37
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,732
- Whoa! Hello! Wow.
- Uh... Heh.
38
00:02:02,336 --> 00:02:04,463
- Didn't mean to...
- Richard.
39
00:02:04,639 --> 00:02:06,766
- No, we were just, you know.
- Yes, I saw. Nice.
40
00:02:06,941 --> 00:02:08,306
Yeah.
41
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:11,274
- I'm Burton Schaefer.
- Richard Campbell. Christine's husband.
42
00:02:11,946 --> 00:02:14,540
- Ex-husband.
- Oh, God. Right.
43
00:02:14,715 --> 00:02:17,240
Wonder what the psychiatrists would say
about that.
44
00:02:17,418 --> 00:02:18,612
[LAUGHS]
45
00:02:18,786 --> 00:02:21,311
They'd say you were leaving.
46
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,821
- I should probably head out too.
- Thanks for stopping by.
47
00:02:23,991 --> 00:02:25,788
- Let's do this again soon.
- Richard.
48
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,019
What? Burt can take a joke.
49
00:02:28,196 --> 00:02:30,596
His name's Burton.
He must hear a lot of jokes.
50
00:02:31,465 --> 00:02:32,989
[LAUGHS]
51
00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:35,601
That's okay. No, l...
We got a big anniversary tomorrow...
52
00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:38,238
...so I should probably go home
and wrap her gift.
53
00:02:38,406 --> 00:02:40,101
[LAUGHING]
54
00:02:42,577 --> 00:02:44,477
Ah, nice meeting you.
55
00:02:48,816 --> 00:02:50,613
- I like him.
- Hm.
56
00:02:50,785 --> 00:02:52,650
- He's a good-looking guy.
- Yeah.
57
00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:54,253
Almost pretty.
58
00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:57,618
Good night, Richard.
59
00:02:57,792 --> 00:02:59,350
What? It's a compliment.
60
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,893
He's a very adorable man.
61
00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:06,891
[PHONE RINGS]
62
00:03:08,402 --> 00:03:09,733
- Hello?
- Hey, it's me.
63
00:03:09,904 --> 00:03:12,702
Look, I'm sorry about tonight.
I was just trying to be funny.
64
00:03:12,874 --> 00:03:16,401
Really? Because it wasn't funny.
It was like Benny Hill not-funny.
65
00:03:16,577 --> 00:03:18,272
Benny Hill's hilarious.
66
00:03:18,446 --> 00:03:20,277
I can't have this conversation again.
67
00:03:20,448 --> 00:03:21,608
[PHONE BEEPS]
68
00:03:21,782 --> 00:03:24,751
Hang on, somebody's calling. Hold on.
69
00:03:25,186 --> 00:03:26,585
- Hello?
- Hey, you gotta see this.
70
00:03:26,754 --> 00:03:29,621
A woman's having fat removed
and it fills an entire trash can.
71
00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:32,315
- Ooh. Channel?
- Forty-six.
72
00:03:32,493 --> 00:03:34,654
It's easily the grossest thing
I've ever seen.
73
00:03:34,829 --> 00:03:37,889
Oh! That's disgusting!
74
00:03:38,065 --> 00:03:40,431
Who would watch this?
75
00:03:44,538 --> 00:03:46,403
- Oh, l... I gotta go. Okay.
- Yeah, me too.
76
00:03:48,409 --> 00:03:49,808
Hey, sorry. Sorry.
77
00:03:49,977 --> 00:03:53,276
Matthew just wanted me to see this show
where they remove people's fat.
78
00:03:53,447 --> 00:03:56,382
- Ooh. What channel?
- Forty-six.
79
00:03:57,451 --> 00:03:59,316
Oh, my God.
80
00:03:59,487 --> 00:04:01,785
Why would they put her fat
in a trash can?
81
00:04:01,956 --> 00:04:03,821
Yeah. Does the trash man pick that up?
82
00:04:03,991 --> 00:04:07,119
Because I can't even get them
to take my old couch.
83
00:04:07,295 --> 00:04:09,024
All right, I gotta get some sleep.
84
00:04:09,196 --> 00:04:12,427
Wait, wait. I called because I felt bad
about how I acted.
85
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,763
I was a real jerk,
and I'd like to make it up to you.
86
00:04:15,937 --> 00:04:18,405
Fine.
Get me a trash can to put my ass in.
87
00:04:18,572 --> 00:04:20,096
[LAUGHS]
88
00:04:20,274 --> 00:04:23,766
Listen, Richard, that's very nice of you,
but you don't have to...
89
00:04:23,945 --> 00:04:25,936
- Oh!
- Ugh!
90
00:04:26,113 --> 00:04:30,015
Wow. That's a powerful vacuum.
91
00:04:31,285 --> 00:04:33,412
Look, let's go out to dinner.
92
00:04:33,587 --> 00:04:35,919
You and Burton, me and Christine.
I'll buy.
93
00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:38,251
A double date? Ooh, I don't know.
94
00:04:38,426 --> 00:04:40,394
- Isn't that's kind of weird?
- Why?
95
00:04:40,561 --> 00:04:41,960
Because we're divorced? So what?
96
00:04:42,129 --> 00:04:44,495
You obviously like this guy.
I'd like to get to know him.
97
00:04:44,665 --> 00:04:46,223
I don't know.
98
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,765
[PHONE BEEPS]
99
00:04:47,935 --> 00:04:49,334
Oh, that's Burton.
100
00:04:49,503 --> 00:04:52,199
Okay, hang on. Don't move.
101
00:04:53,274 --> 00:04:54,969
- Hi there.
- I know I just saw you...
102
00:04:55,142 --> 00:04:58,202
...but I had to hear your voice
one more time before I went to bed.
103
00:04:58,379 --> 00:05:00,973
That is so sweet.
104
00:05:01,148 --> 00:05:05,881
Listen, um,
I've got kind of a weird proposal for you.
105
00:05:06,053 --> 00:05:08,146
- Yes.
- Ha-ha-ha!
106
00:05:08,322 --> 00:05:13,089
No. No, Richard's on the other line
and, uh, he wants to take us to dinner...
107
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:15,660
...to sort of make up
for being such a jerk tonight.
108
00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:19,732
- What do you think? Is that weird?
- Uh, it's very friendly.
109
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:22,835
Uh, well, next week, we can go
to my ex-wife's for dinner, you know?
110
00:05:23,004 --> 00:05:25,268
Oh, maybe she'll make her famous
l-never-loved-you...
111
00:05:25,439 --> 00:05:28,738
...and-your-former-law-partner-
is-a-better-lover-than-you'll-ever-be potpie.
112
00:05:28,909 --> 00:05:30,035
[LAUGHS]
113
00:05:30,211 --> 00:05:32,406
Ha, ha. We can go to dinner.
114
00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:35,174
Okay, fine.
All right, um, I'll see you tomorrow.
115
00:05:35,349 --> 00:05:36,782
Night.
116
00:05:37,651 --> 00:05:38,879
Hey, we're on.
117
00:05:39,053 --> 00:05:41,453
Great. I'll talk to Christine
and call you tomorrow.
118
00:05:41,622 --> 00:05:42,748
Okay, sounds like a plan.
119
00:05:42,923 --> 00:05:43,912
[PHONE BEEPS]
120
00:05:44,091 --> 00:05:45,854
Oh, God, this is Matthew again.
I gotta go.
121
00:05:46,027 --> 00:05:48,154
- Bye.
- What?
122
00:05:48,329 --> 00:05:51,264
They're removing a 200-pound tumor
from this guy's leg.
123
00:05:51,432 --> 00:05:53,696
- Ooh. Channel?
- Sixty-three.
124
00:05:58,305 --> 00:06:00,865
Thanks for doing this, honey.
I think it's really gonna be fun.
125
00:06:01,642 --> 00:06:03,837
Do you?
You're not gonna feel a little icky...
126
00:06:04,011 --> 00:06:06,206
...about seeing your ex-wife
with a serious boyfriend?
127
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,745
No. Why would I?
128
00:06:07,915 --> 00:06:09,405
If anything, it's a relief.
129
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:10,811
If Christine pairs up...
130
00:06:10,985 --> 00:06:13,749
...then we don't have to feel guilty
about our relationship.
131
00:06:16,257 --> 00:06:19,488
- You feel guilty?
- Did I say guilty?
132
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,862
I meant lucky. Which is basically
the same thing when you're Catholic.
133
00:06:25,533 --> 00:06:27,797
Luckily, you're a better kisser than a liar.
134
00:06:31,472 --> 00:06:32,564
Hi.
135
00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:35,706
Hi.
136
00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:37,935
- Hi.
- Oh, hi. Sorry.
137
00:06:38,112 --> 00:06:39,807
- We were just...
- Yeah. We saw.
138
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:42,073
Very classy.
139
00:06:42,249 --> 00:06:46,743
Uh, so, Burton, you've met Richard,
and this is his girlfriend, New Christine.
140
00:06:46,921 --> 00:06:48,149
- Hi.
- Hi.
141
00:06:48,322 --> 00:06:50,847
Actually, I'm not new.
I've been here for 28 years.
142
00:06:51,025 --> 00:06:53,585
I'm just new compared to her.
143
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:56,992
Well, let's eat quickly,
because I have to get back to the home.
144
00:06:57,164 --> 00:07:01,931
Okay. Well, now, I'm new too
so I guess you can just call me New Burton.
145
00:07:02,103 --> 00:07:05,129
- Isn't that a town in Connecticut?
- Yeah.
146
00:07:05,306 --> 00:07:07,536
[LAUGHING]
147
00:07:07,708 --> 00:07:10,074
[CHRISTINE AND RICHARD SIGH]
148
00:07:12,179 --> 00:07:15,444
So, Burton, I just wanna say sorry
about the other night.
149
00:07:15,616 --> 00:07:17,777
We both said some things we regret.
150
00:07:17,952 --> 00:07:21,581
- I don't remember saying anything.
- I accept your apology.
151
00:07:21,755 --> 00:07:23,814
Let's just forget about it
and have a good night.
152
00:07:26,861 --> 00:07:28,385
- Good evening.
CHRISTINE: Hi.
153
00:07:28,562 --> 00:07:30,393
I will be back to take your drink orders.
154
00:07:30,564 --> 00:07:32,156
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
155
00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:40,368
You okay there?
156
00:07:40,541 --> 00:07:44,875
Yeah, it's my...
My new date-night underwear.
157
00:07:45,412 --> 00:07:48,108
I just got to fifth base.
158
00:07:48,916 --> 00:07:51,680
Really, I want you to feel free
to say anything around me.
159
00:07:51,852 --> 00:07:53,410
[LAUGHS]
160
00:07:59,093 --> 00:08:01,425
- Christine, you look great tonight.
- Oh, thank you.
161
00:08:01,595 --> 00:08:03,654
Yeah. Your makeup's really doing its job.
162
00:08:05,332 --> 00:08:08,665
- So, what's everybody having?
- L... I'm sorry.
163
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:11,202
My makeup is doing its job?
164
00:08:11,372 --> 00:08:13,306
What...? What did that mean?
165
00:08:13,474 --> 00:08:15,908
What? It was a compliment.
You look good.
166
00:08:16,076 --> 00:08:19,443
Wha...? Richard, you don't compliment
a person's makeup.
167
00:08:19,613 --> 00:08:23,208
You compliment their face,
not the thing that's covering up their face.
168
00:08:24,618 --> 00:08:28,247
That's like... That's like talking
about somebody's girdle.
169
00:08:29,356 --> 00:08:32,052
That looks like it's doing its job too.
170
00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:39,529
You know, people in love-handle houses
should not throw stones, buddy.
171
00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:42,726
You guys, stop. I'm sure
you're making Burton uncomfortable.
172
00:08:42,903 --> 00:08:44,996
No. No, it's fine.
Actually, I'm very comfortable.
173
00:08:45,172 --> 00:08:46,969
Reminds me of my honeymoon. Heh.
174
00:08:47,608 --> 00:08:50,441
Minus the flying ashtrays
and Moroccan police.
175
00:08:50,611 --> 00:08:52,408
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
176
00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:56,346
You're right. I promise we won't be sniping
at each other all night, right?
177
00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:58,451
I'm sorry too. It's a bad habit.
178
00:08:58,619 --> 00:09:01,110
- Can we just start this whole night over?
- I like that idea.
179
00:09:01,288 --> 00:09:02,516
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
- Okay.
180
00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:05,124
So, Burton,
what sort of law do you practice?
181
00:09:05,292 --> 00:09:06,759
Uh, I'm an immigration lawyer.
182
00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:09,623
Mostly Mexico and Central America.
183
00:09:09,797 --> 00:09:12,493
I like it a lot. You know,
helping people find a better life...
184
00:09:12,666 --> 00:09:15,362
...and get a little piece
of the American dream.
185
00:09:24,645 --> 00:09:26,374
Of course,
we still have a long ways to go.
186
00:09:26,547 --> 00:09:28,242
Heh-heh. But, uh...
187
00:09:28,415 --> 00:09:31,942
Anyway, most recently, I've been down
in Tijuana trying to reunite this family.
188
00:09:32,119 --> 00:09:34,815
The mom's been working here
and the kids are down there while she's...
189
00:09:34,989 --> 00:09:36,320
[LAUGHING]
190
00:09:37,091 --> 00:09:39,582
It's really, uh... It's really sad.
191
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,057
[LAUGHING]
192
00:09:41,228 --> 00:09:43,287
Yeah, I always get a laugh at that part.
193
00:09:43,464 --> 00:09:44,954
No, I'm sorry.
194
00:09:45,132 --> 00:09:46,724
It's just when you said Tijuana...
195
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:50,063
...it reminded me of this story
that Christine and I have.
196
00:09:50,237 --> 00:09:53,331
No, no.
Lord, please do not tell that story, okay?
197
00:09:53,507 --> 00:09:56,101
I am trying to make a good impression.
198
00:09:56,277 --> 00:09:58,336
- Now I've gotta hear the story. What is it?
- No. No.
199
00:09:58,512 --> 00:10:00,537
We were in this bar,
Christine was drunk...
200
00:10:00,714 --> 00:10:02,841
...which by the way,
is how most of our stories start.
201
00:10:03,017 --> 00:10:04,450
Oh. That's lovely. Thank you.
202
00:10:04,618 --> 00:10:07,109
She stole the waiter's whistle,
started giving everyone shots.
203
00:10:07,288 --> 00:10:09,722
No, I didn't steal the whistle.
204
00:10:09,890 --> 00:10:14,088
Gosh, I bought it
by showing the waiter my bra.
205
00:10:14,828 --> 00:10:17,319
- And?
- My underwear.
206
00:10:17,498 --> 00:10:21,730
- And?
- The top of my butt.
207
00:10:21,902 --> 00:10:24,302
[LAUGHING]
208
00:10:24,905 --> 00:10:27,305
Which, by the way,
is how most of our stories end.
209
00:10:27,474 --> 00:10:29,874
[BOTH LAUGHING]
210
00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:37,005
Uncle Matthew,
what does my mom do when she goes out?
211
00:10:38,018 --> 00:10:40,953
Uh, what does she tell you she does?
212
00:10:42,323 --> 00:10:44,154
She just says she's going out.
213
00:10:44,758 --> 00:10:47,522
Okay, well, if you have to know.
214
00:10:47,695 --> 00:10:49,720
When your mom goes out she...
215
00:10:52,499 --> 00:10:54,558
She fights crime.
216
00:10:58,305 --> 00:11:00,830
- Why does she get all dressed up?
- Well, that's her disguise.
217
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:03,272
She brushes her hair
and puts on clean clothes...
218
00:11:03,444 --> 00:11:05,810
...so no one will recognize her.
219
00:11:05,979 --> 00:11:07,139
Oh.
220
00:11:07,314 --> 00:11:09,646
You know what, Ritchie,
no more questions about your mom.
221
00:11:09,817 --> 00:11:11,307
Okay.
222
00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:14,682
What makes some people gay?
223
00:11:17,424 --> 00:11:19,688
Your mom's on a date.
224
00:11:21,795 --> 00:11:23,490
[LAUGHING]
225
00:11:23,664 --> 00:11:25,632
And you couldn't say anything...
226
00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:27,664
...because he knew...
227
00:11:27,835 --> 00:11:29,427
...you were wearing...
228
00:11:29,603 --> 00:11:31,764
[LAUGHING]
229
00:11:31,939 --> 00:11:33,236
- His hat!
230
00:11:33,407 --> 00:11:36,137
[LAUGHING]
231
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:43,807
Yeah, they never run out of stories.
Not ever.
232
00:11:43,984 --> 00:11:46,214
Ever, ever, ever.
233
00:11:47,254 --> 00:11:50,246
That last one had a twist though.
They were sober. Heh.
234
00:11:50,557 --> 00:11:52,718
Didn't see that coming.
235
00:11:53,494 --> 00:11:54,722
Remember Vermont?
236
00:11:54,895 --> 00:11:56,590
No, Richard, don't.
237
00:11:56,764 --> 00:11:58,959
I think they're... They're mad.
238
00:11:59,133 --> 00:12:01,931
Burton, are you getting mad?
239
00:12:03,737 --> 00:12:07,696
Why would I be mad?
It's like watching an alcoholic travel show.
240
00:12:09,009 --> 00:12:11,409
Oh, we gotta do this again real soon.
241
00:12:11,578 --> 00:12:14,775
I'm at my mother's next week, so it
would have to be the week after that.
242
00:12:14,948 --> 00:12:16,210
Yeah, or never.
243
00:12:16,984 --> 00:12:18,576
Oh, right. Or never.
244
00:12:21,255 --> 00:12:23,985
- Wait, you're really mad?
- No, it's... It's fine.
245
00:12:24,158 --> 00:12:27,321
It doesn't matter, all right?
I'm just... I'm gonna go get the car.
246
00:12:27,494 --> 00:12:28,927
You know, I think I'll go with you.
247
00:12:29,963 --> 00:12:31,055
Uh-oh.
248
00:12:31,231 --> 00:12:33,495
Well, we'll be right there.
249
00:12:35,235 --> 00:12:37,294
Ass!
250
00:12:38,572 --> 00:12:41,336
Me? What? You were laughing too.
251
00:12:41,508 --> 00:12:44,068
At least I didn't do the duck walk
for the waiter.
252
00:12:44,244 --> 00:12:45,711
Richard, that got a laugh.
253
00:12:45,879 --> 00:12:48,143
And you know damn well,
if I'm getting a laugh...
254
00:12:48,315 --> 00:12:50,146
...l'm not gonna stop.
255
00:12:50,851 --> 00:12:53,251
- This is your fault.
- How is this my fault?
256
00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:55,820
Because you kept telling
those tired old stories...
257
00:12:55,989 --> 00:12:58,685
...and making Burton
feel completely left out.
258
00:12:58,859 --> 00:13:02,795
He's a lawyer.
I'd think he'd be used to being left out.
259
00:13:02,963 --> 00:13:04,260
Ass!
260
00:13:05,199 --> 00:13:06,632
Christine.
261
00:13:07,301 --> 00:13:08,734
Christine.
262
00:13:11,371 --> 00:13:12,861
Christine. Christine.
263
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,974
Wait. Wait.
264
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:17,007
Are you actually mad at me?
265
00:13:18,045 --> 00:13:22,345
You spent the entire evening
trying to sabotage my relationship.
266
00:13:22,516 --> 00:13:25,280
- Why would I do that?
- I don't know, Richard.
267
00:13:25,452 --> 00:13:28,182
Maybe that's a question
you need to be asking yourself.
268
00:13:29,456 --> 00:13:32,983
Richard, I really like this guy.
269
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,957
I feel good when I'm with him.
270
00:13:36,063 --> 00:13:38,497
He's the first guy that I've met
since we broke up...
271
00:13:38,665 --> 00:13:41,361
...that I could really see myself
staying with.
272
00:13:43,370 --> 00:13:44,803
Oh.
273
00:13:44,972 --> 00:13:48,840
Well, that's good.
274
00:13:49,443 --> 00:13:50,740
That's great.
275
00:13:50,911 --> 00:13:53,846
I just hope he forgives me.
276
00:13:58,252 --> 00:14:00,584
- Hi.
- Hello.
277
00:14:00,754 --> 00:14:03,723
Oh, I am so sorry you had a terrible time.
278
00:14:03,891 --> 00:14:07,759
Well, we've been together for six dates
now. You gotta take the bad with the good.
279
00:14:07,928 --> 00:14:10,362
Can you forgive me?
I mean, we just...
280
00:14:10,531 --> 00:14:12,590
We get caught up in our old stuff.
281
00:14:12,766 --> 00:14:16,759
Yeah, you know, speaking of that old stuff,
there seems to be a lot of it.
282
00:14:17,004 --> 00:14:18,266
Should I be threatened?
283
00:14:18,438 --> 00:14:19,905
Oh, God, no.
284
00:14:20,073 --> 00:14:23,440
That's just a bunch of dumb stories
from a million years ago.
285
00:14:24,444 --> 00:14:25,877
I wanna make new stories.
286
00:14:26,046 --> 00:14:27,274
With you.
287
00:14:27,447 --> 00:14:31,042
Yeah, then we can take your new boyfriend
out to dinner, and rub it in his face.
288
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:33,118
Oh, please, Burton.
289
00:14:33,287 --> 00:14:38,281
I mean, if you let me,
I promise I can make it up to you.
290
00:14:40,794 --> 00:14:42,125
How are you gonna do that?
291
00:14:42,296 --> 00:14:46,995
Well, I can think of, uh, five ways
just like right off the top of my head.
292
00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:51,536
The first two, you are truly gonna love.
293
00:14:51,972 --> 00:14:54,099
And the third is mostly for me.
294
00:14:55,676 --> 00:14:59,806
Well, let's start with the third
and then work our way backwards.
295
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,413
Wow.
296
00:15:01,582 --> 00:15:03,345
[LAUGHS]
297
00:15:04,618 --> 00:15:08,247
And so the good news is
Christine really, really likes him.
298
00:15:08,422 --> 00:15:11,323
- Well, that is good news.
- That's what I said. I'm happy for her.
299
00:15:11,491 --> 00:15:14,324
- Yeah, maybe they'll get married.
- Hey, wouldn't that be swell?
300
00:15:14,494 --> 00:15:15,586
[ENGINE REVVING]
301
00:15:15,762 --> 00:15:17,423
[SCREAMS]
302
00:15:18,799 --> 00:15:21,768
Watch.
I'm gonna get blamed for this too.
303
00:15:26,306 --> 00:15:28,171
- How is he?
- What did they say?
304
00:15:28,342 --> 00:15:30,810
We don't know yet, but it looks bad.
305
00:15:30,978 --> 00:15:33,105
It might be his toe.
306
00:15:33,914 --> 00:15:36,075
His toe? Oh, God, which one?
307
00:15:36,249 --> 00:15:39,047
The one that went to market
or the one that ate roast beef?
308
00:15:41,421 --> 00:15:44,652
Hey, a toe injury is not funny, Richard.
309
00:15:44,825 --> 00:15:47,157
It's true. I lost the nail on my pinky toe.
310
00:15:47,327 --> 00:15:48,760
It never grew back.
311
00:15:48,929 --> 00:15:51,397
Now I have to paint the skin.
312
00:15:55,469 --> 00:15:58,927
Richard. Richard,
have you seen the medical shows?
313
00:15:59,106 --> 00:16:02,098
I mean, toe injuries can lead
to very serious complications.
314
00:16:02,275 --> 00:16:04,004
In some cases, death.
315
00:16:04,845 --> 00:16:08,576
Oh. Forgive me. I didn't realize I was
speaking to a medical professional, Doctor?
316
00:16:08,749 --> 00:16:11,775
Shove it. Janice P. Shove-it, M.D.
317
00:16:12,719 --> 00:16:15,210
- That's very mature.
- Oh. You wanna talk about mature?
318
00:16:15,389 --> 00:16:17,118
You just tried to kill my boyfriend.
319
00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,417
- I was there, it wasn't...
- It was an accident.
320
00:16:19,593 --> 00:16:21,060
Oh. There are no accidents, Richard.
321
00:16:21,228 --> 00:16:25,858
I mean, maybe you didn't mean to do it,
but you still did do it unconsciously.
322
00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:27,432
Unconsciously? Like in a coma?
323
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,728
- I think she means sub...
- No. You are unbelievable!
324
00:16:29,903 --> 00:16:32,167
- Don't you mean sub-believable?
- Ugh.
325
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,432
You know what I mean, you toe killer!
326
00:16:34,608 --> 00:16:37,236
All right, stop it. That's enough.
I can't take it anymore.
327
00:16:37,411 --> 00:16:40,073
You're not even making sense.
You're just saying words.
328
00:16:41,481 --> 00:16:44,416
You see?
Even your girlfriend thinks you're an ass.
329
00:16:44,584 --> 00:16:47,712
- Well, you're an ass too, Christine.
- Me? What did I do?
330
00:16:47,888 --> 00:16:50,322
It's both of you
and this messed up dynamic you have.
331
00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:52,617
You get going
and it's like no one else exists.
332
00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:55,023
And it's not just tonight. It's all the time.
333
00:16:55,195 --> 00:16:57,993
With the constant phone calls
and the daily visits...
334
00:16:58,165 --> 00:16:59,530
...the obnoxious reminiscing.
335
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:02,794
It was only a matter of time
before someone got hurt.
336
00:17:06,106 --> 00:17:09,269
You're supposed to be divorced.
Why can't you act like it?
337
00:17:10,444 --> 00:17:13,379
Christine, you have to understand,
we have a kid together.
338
00:17:13,547 --> 00:17:14,809
We're always gonna be connected.
339
00:17:14,981 --> 00:17:17,472
Oh, don't pull that.
This has nothing to do with your kid.
340
00:17:17,651 --> 00:17:20,347
This is the two of you
unable to separate from each other.
341
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,681
- I'm leaving.
- I'll go with you.
342
00:17:22,856 --> 00:17:24,551
No, you stay here, Richard.
343
00:17:24,725 --> 00:17:27,489
I'm serious. You two need to figure out
what your deal is...
344
00:17:27,661 --> 00:17:31,062
...because until you do,
I don't think there's any room in it for me.
345
00:17:37,771 --> 00:17:39,568
I need the keys.
346
00:17:48,782 --> 00:17:50,807
I need money for parking.
347
00:18:00,794 --> 00:18:03,058
- Yes!
- Nice work, Dr. Campbell.
348
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:05,926
- Thanks.
- Okay.
349
00:18:06,099 --> 00:18:08,966
"Remove Adam's apple,
including the core.
350
00:18:09,136 --> 00:18:12,902
You'll end up with money
and friends galore."
351
00:18:13,306 --> 00:18:16,742
Well, I'm really not in it
for the money and friends. I'm a healer.
352
00:18:20,547 --> 00:18:22,174
So why does my mom go on dates?
353
00:18:22,949 --> 00:18:27,682
Well, because sometimes grownups
like to go out with people their own age.
354
00:18:28,522 --> 00:18:30,080
You're her age. Why don't you date her?
355
00:18:30,257 --> 00:18:31,690
[GAME BUZZES]
356
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:38,920
Well, most people like to date
outside their immediate family.
357
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,665
And it's a law.
358
00:18:41,835 --> 00:18:43,928
A good law.
359
00:18:45,205 --> 00:18:46,934
What do you do on a date?
360
00:18:48,675 --> 00:18:52,304
Well, you, uh, talk and you laugh.
361
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:55,448
Sometimes you wrestle.
362
00:18:57,050 --> 00:18:58,449
Oh.
363
00:18:58,618 --> 00:19:00,609
What's intercourse?
364
00:19:04,157 --> 00:19:08,184
It's something to do with golf.
You should ask your mom.
365
00:19:09,529 --> 00:19:13,727
- Does mom golf?
- Oh, she's been known to hit the links.
366
00:19:16,870 --> 00:19:17,894
[RICHARD SIGHS]
367
00:19:18,905 --> 00:19:22,033
- You get through to Christine?
- No, she must've turned off her cell.
368
00:19:22,209 --> 00:19:23,574
Thanks.
369
00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:26,305
So, what do you think?
Do you think she's right?
370
00:19:26,479 --> 00:19:29,209
- Do we have a weird dynamic?
- No.
371
00:19:29,382 --> 00:19:31,907
I mean, sure, we're closer
than most divorced people...
372
00:19:32,085 --> 00:19:34,781
...but I think that's healthy.
373
00:19:36,957 --> 00:19:38,788
I guess.
374
00:19:39,593 --> 00:19:40,651
[SIGHS]
375
00:19:40,827 --> 00:19:44,160
But I don't want our old relationship
to get in the way of our new ones.
376
00:19:44,331 --> 00:19:46,492
I don't either.
Maybe we need some boundaries.
377
00:19:46,666 --> 00:19:47,894
Yeah.
378
00:19:48,068 --> 00:19:50,832
Like I guess I shouldn't call you
every night before I go to bed, huh?
379
00:19:51,004 --> 00:19:53,063
Maybe I shouldn't just drop by
unannounced.
380
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:57,540
And of course, no running over
each other's dates with a car.
381
00:19:58,845 --> 00:20:01,507
Seems a little extreme, but okay.
382
00:20:02,148 --> 00:20:05,208
And we won't call each other
every time there's something gross on TV.
383
00:20:05,385 --> 00:20:07,444
Well, what if it's something
that concerns Ritchie?
384
00:20:07,621 --> 00:20:09,486
- We have to talk then.
- Right, of course.
385
00:20:09,656 --> 00:20:11,624
We'll talk then, but only then.
386
00:20:11,791 --> 00:20:14,351
Yeah, I think that can work.
387
00:20:14,527 --> 00:20:17,519
You should probably stop thinking
of me when you're having sex with Burton.
388
00:20:21,902 --> 00:20:26,362
Richard, I didn't even think of you
when I was having sex with you.
389
00:20:30,610 --> 00:20:32,077
I don't wanna play with you anymore.
390
00:20:33,747 --> 00:20:36,807
God, this is big, you know?
391
00:20:36,983 --> 00:20:38,951
Things are gonna change a lot with us.
392
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,747
I know. But it's gotta be done.
393
00:20:41,922 --> 00:20:44,220
- There are other people now.
- Yeah.
394
00:20:44,491 --> 00:20:46,391
And by the way...
395
00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:49,551
...I think it did bother me
seeing you with someone else tonight.
396
00:20:49,729 --> 00:20:51,458
But it doesn't mean
I'm not happy for you.
397
00:20:51,631 --> 00:20:54,600
Oh, thank you.
398
00:20:55,769 --> 00:20:57,236
About you and New Christine?
399
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:02,968
Thank you for being happy for me.
400
00:21:29,035 --> 00:21:31,026
[ENGLISH SDH]
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