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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,795 --> 00:00:13,096 ( camera clicking ) 2 00:02:37,941 --> 00:02:40,310 STAND TALL, ENEMY APPROACHING ! 3 00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:45,581 KRISSY TATE REQUESTING ENTRY TO KING DAWG'S CASTLE, PLEASE. 4 00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:52,088 IT'S GONNA COST YOU. 5 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,340 YOU HAVE TO KISS ME FOR 5 SECONDS. 6 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,961 ( boys ) ONE MISSISSIPPI, 2 MISSISSIPPI, 7 00:02:58,962 --> 00:03:00,847 3 MISSISSIPPI, 8 00:03:01,297 --> 00:03:02,965 4 MISSISSIPPI, 9 00:03:02,966 --> 00:03:04,684 5 MISSISSIPPI. 10 00:03:06,803 --> 00:03:08,604 ENTRY DENIED ! 11 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,273 I HATE YOU, DOUGLAS MENFORD. 12 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,394 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ! HE SAID NO ! 13 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,281 WHY DID YOU DO THAT ? 14 00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:19,782 HMM, 15 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:21,650 I'VE KISSED BETTER. 16 00:03:49,512 --> 00:03:52,014 CAN I GET ONE OF THOSE PLASTIC DIVIDER THINGS ? 17 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:54,434 SURE. 18 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,862 OH, OH ! 19 00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:08,364 BETWEEN THE GOAL POST, BABY ! 20 00:04:08,364 --> 00:04:09,365 OH, YES ! OH, OH ! 21 00:04:09,866 --> 00:04:10,867 ( moaning ) 22 00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:12,368 OH, HALLELUJAH ! 23 00:04:12,869 --> 00:04:13,870 OOH ! 24 00:04:22,045 --> 00:04:23,046 WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE ? 25 00:04:23,046 --> 00:04:24,547 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? 26 00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:26,549 WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME BEING HERE ? 27 00:04:26,549 --> 00:04:28,050 HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE I WORKED ? 28 00:04:28,051 --> 00:04:29,552 DOUG. 29 00:04:29,552 --> 00:04:31,554 UH, MR. LANGLEY, HOW ARE YOU ? EXCUSE ME A MOMENT. 30 00:04:31,554 --> 00:04:33,556 SIR, I'M SORRY. 31 00:04:33,556 --> 00:04:36,058 THIS BROAD, I SLEEP WITH HER ONCE, AND SHE THINKS SHE CAN FOLLOW ME TO WORK. 32 00:04:36,059 --> 00:04:37,560 BUT I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. DON'T WORRY. 33 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,562 DOUG, THAT BROAD IS MY WIFE, 34 00:04:40,563 --> 00:04:42,064 AND YOU'RE FIRED. 35 00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:43,566 STUPID TWIT ! 36 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,790 THEY CAN ALL KISS MY ASS, JOE. 37 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,792 EASY, DAWG. 38 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,794 NO, "EASY" THIS. 39 00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:58,380 SCREW THEM. SCREW R.P. LANGLEY. 40 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:00,499 YOU ALREADY SCREWED HIS WIFE. 41 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,502 I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HIS WIFE. 42 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,003 I WISH I HAD KNOWN IT WAS HIS WIFE. 43 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:05,637 WOULD HAVE MADE IT MORE EXCITING. 44 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,139 ( chuckling ) 45 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,725 YOU KNOW WHAT ? HE CAN LICK ME. CRACK TO SACK, OK ? 46 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,395 R.P. LANGLEY CAN LICK ME, CRACK TO FUCKING SACK. 47 00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:14,980 HEY, HEY, NOT IN FRONT OF THE LADY. 48 00:05:16,265 --> 00:05:18,433 SORRY, TOUGH WEEK. 49 00:05:18,434 --> 00:05:20,602 THAT'S NO EXCUSE FOR CURSING LIKE THAT. 50 00:05:20,603 --> 00:05:22,488 IT'S IMPORTANT FOR DECENT PEOPLE 51 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,323 TO CONTROL THEIR LANGUAGE. 52 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:28,277 MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH, YOU'RE HOT ! 53 00:05:28,277 --> 00:05:30,495 SO ARE YOU. INCREDIBLE. 54 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,497 TAKE YOUR PANTIES OFF. 55 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,998 OH, NO, NOT YET. 56 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,000 COME ON. NO. 57 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,501 COME ON, I'M DEPRESSED, MMM. 58 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,504 SEX IS LIKE MEDICATION. IT'LL HELP EASE THE PAIN, MMM. 59 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,256 WHY ARE YOU DEPRESSED ? YOU'LL FIND ANOTHER JOB. 60 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,259 IT'S NOT REALLY ABOUT MY JOB. 61 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,761 IT'S ABOUT MY GRANDMOTHER, ACTUALLY. 62 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:47,764 AH. 63 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,766 SHE JUST DIED. 64 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,269 ( groaning ) 65 00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:55,271 WHAT ? 66 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:56,773 W-WHAT'S WRONG ? 67 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,776 YOU'RE--YOU'RE USING YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S DEATH 68 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,277 TO GET YOURSELF A PIECE OF ASS. 69 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,279 THAT IS SO DEMENTED. 70 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,813 NO, WAIT, WAIT. 71 00:06:04,814 --> 00:06:07,316 SEE, I'M SOMEONE WHO CAN CHANNEL DEPRESSION THROUGH SEXUAL ENERGY. 72 00:06:07,316 --> 00:06:08,317 BELIEVE ME, I'M IN REAL MOURNING. 73 00:06:08,818 --> 00:06:09,819 YOU'RE FUCKING SICK. 74 00:06:09,819 --> 00:06:11,320 NO, AND I ONLY NEED 4 HOURS OF SLEEP. 75 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,655 IT'S A FUNERAL. HOW AWAKE DO YOU HAVE TO BE ? WHERE'RE YOU GOING ? 76 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:16,959 ( Rollin' Tumblin' Remix by R.L. Burnside playing ) 77 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,329 ♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 78 00:06:20,329 --> 00:06:22,164 ♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 79 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,383 ♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 80 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:28,420 I KNOW I'M NOT SCHEDULED TO SPEAK HERE TODAY 81 00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:31,841 ON BEHALF OF MY BELOVED GRANDMOTHER, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO ADD... 82 00:06:31,841 --> 00:06:33,559 ♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 83 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:36,812 SHE WAS A WOMAN OF INCREDIBLE CHARACTER. 84 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:40,816 SHE WAS AN INCREDIBLE-- SHE WAS A GREAT WOMAN OF INCREDIBLE CHARACTER. 85 00:06:41,184 --> 00:06:42,435 SHIT ! 86 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,857 THE WOMAN WHO TAUGHT ME THE VALUABLE LESSONS OF LIFE. 87 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,744 JUST DON'T MAKE THEM LIKE HER ANYMORE. 88 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,457 ( men chattering ) 89 00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:06,876 ( man #1 ) YEAH, YEAH. OK. 90 00:07:11,547 --> 00:07:14,049 ( man #2 ) KEEP GOING, LOWER. 91 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:16,052 COME ON, MOVE IT, COME ON. 92 00:07:17,053 --> 00:07:18,554 OK. LET'S GO. 93 00:07:21,057 --> 00:07:24,060 EXCUSE ME, UM, IS THIS WHERE THE KATE MENFORD FUNERAL IS GOING TO BE ? 94 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,062 THIS IS WHERE THE KATE MENFORD FUNERAL WAS. 95 00:07:27,063 --> 00:07:29,565 NO, NO, NO. NO, NO. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT 9:30. 96 00:07:29,565 --> 00:07:31,567 NO, NO, NO. 8:30. SORRY, PAL. 97 00:07:32,568 --> 00:07:34,570 COME ON, GET THESE, UH... 98 00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:36,455 YOU GOT TO PUT THESE ON THE TRUCK. 99 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:37,957 HURRY UP. 100 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,460 SORRY, GRAM. 101 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,464 I'M GONNA MISS YOU. 102 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,967 ( car stereo playing ) 103 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,468 ( tires screeching ) 104 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,223 ( horn blaring ) 105 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,650 ( people chattering ) 106 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,323 I MEAN, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, 107 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,327 IT'S A LOT LIKE SEX, MISSIONARY STYLE, WITH THE LIGHTS TURNED OFF. 108 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,196 IT CAN ONLY LAST SO LONG, YOU KNOW ? 109 00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:18,664 ( crunching ) 110 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,200 IF YOU SCREW TOO MANY TIMES ON THE TOP OF THE COFFEE TABLE, 111 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,702 FLIP THE THING OVER, AND TIE YOUR PARTNER TO THE LEGS. 112 00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,037 NOW, TRUST ME, THAT'S HOT. 113 00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:26,338 THAT'S DISGUSTING. 114 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,623 IT'S GREAT. 115 00:08:27,623 --> 00:08:31,126 IT'S GOT TO BE ONE OF THOSE BIG WOOD JOBS, YOU KNOW. 116 00:08:31,127 --> 00:08:33,129 THE SQUARE KIND, SOLID OAK. 117 00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:35,131 WOW. 118 00:08:36,632 --> 00:08:38,517 COFFEE TABLE. 119 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,272 TSK. 120 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:45,440 I'M SORRY. HOW--HOW DO YOU KNOW MY GRANDMOTHER AGAIN ? 121 00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:48,310 DOUG, I'M YOUR COUSIN, DENISE. 122 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,230 COUSIN DENISE. 123 00:08:52,148 --> 00:08:53,899 HI, HOW ARE YOU ? 124 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,151 FINE. 125 00:08:55,151 --> 00:08:56,652 HOW'RE YOU DOING ? 126 00:08:56,652 --> 00:08:59,237 HEY, YOU LOOK GREAT SINCE YOU GOT THE BRACES OFF. YOU REALLY DO. 127 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:06,879 ( chattering ) 128 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:10,049 HMM. 129 00:09:13,836 --> 00:09:15,337 WELL, 130 00:09:15,338 --> 00:09:17,640 ONE DOOR CLOSES AND ANOTHER ONE OPENS. 131 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,474 BYE, THEN. 132 00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:23,228 HI, I'M ANNA LOCKHEART. 133 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,347 DOUG MENFORD, HOW ARE YOU ? 134 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:25,481 ( both ) NICE TO MEET YOU. 135 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,099 YOU'RE NOT RELATED TO ME, ARE YOU ? 136 00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:28,100 OH, HARDLY, NO. 137 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,601 I'M YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S ATTORNEY 138 00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:31,103 AND THE EXECUTOR OF HER ESTATE. 139 00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:32,938 LOOK, I WANNA MAKE THIS REALLY BRIEF, 140 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,942 'CAUSE I KNOW THIS ISN'T THE TIME OR PLACE TO CONDUCT BUSINESS 141 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,444 AND, WELL, I IMAGINE YOU MUST BE PRETTY... 142 00:09:38,861 --> 00:09:40,863 I AM. I AM. BUT MY STRATEGY IS TO LAY LOW 143 00:09:40,863 --> 00:09:42,364 AND HANG OUT BY THE FOOD TABLE, 144 00:09:42,365 --> 00:09:45,368 BECAUSE, UH, USUALLY WHEN YOU'RE EATING, PEOPLE DON'T BOTHER YOU. 145 00:09:45,368 --> 00:09:46,202 USUALLY. 146 00:09:46,202 --> 00:09:47,620 OH, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO-- 147 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,588 NO, RELAX, I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU. 148 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,425 ACTUALLY, UH, THE TRUTH IS EVENTUALLY EVERY GOOD-LOOKING WOMAN 149 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,926 IN THE PLACE WILL END UP AT THE FOOD TABLE 150 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,178 BECAUSE WOMEN LIKE TO EAT WHEN THEY'RE SAD. 151 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,179 REALLY ? YEAH. 152 00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:58,547 AND WHAT DO MEN DO ? 153 00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:00,432 WE LOOK FOR SAD WOMEN. 154 00:10:02,385 --> 00:10:03,936 ARE YOU FREE ON MONDAY AFTERNOON ? 155 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:04,886 YES. 156 00:10:04,887 --> 00:10:06,638 HERE'S MY CARD. 157 00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:10,309 BE AT THIS ADDRESS AT 1:00. 158 00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:11,810 WHY ? 159 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,813 WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY. 160 00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:16,031 YOUR GRANDMOTHER WAS WORTH A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK. 161 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,951 IN FACT, SHE WAS WORTH MORE THAN ANYBODY THOUGHT. 162 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,953 AND OUT OF ALL HER IMMEDIATE FAMILY, 163 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,455 DISTANT RELATIVES, 2ND AND 3RD COUSINS INCLUDED, 164 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,075 AND ALL MONEY-HUNGRY HOPEFULS GATHERED HERE TODAY, 165 00:10:26,075 --> 00:10:27,076 FOR SOME REASON, 166 00:10:27,576 --> 00:10:29,578 YOURS IS THE ONLY NAME THAT APPEARS ON THE WILL. 167 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,633 MR. MENFORD ? 168 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,003 UH--UH, HOW MUCH EXACTLY IS SHE WORTH ? 169 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,005 1:00, MONDAY. 170 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,509 OK. 171 00:10:49,432 --> 00:10:52,435 I'M HERE ABOUT THE COFFEE TABLE. SOLID OAK. 172 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,987 OOH ! 173 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,488 ( laughing ) 174 00:10:57,606 --> 00:10:58,823 MMM, 175 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:02,661 ARE THOSE, UH-- 176 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,996 OH, STRAWBERRIES. 177 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,583 ( grunting ) 178 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,952 ♪ COME ON AND DO IT, DO IT ♪ 179 00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:12,337 ♪ DO IT TILL YOU'RE SATISFIED ♪ 180 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,789 ♪ WHATEVER IT IS ♪ 181 00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:16,758 ♪ DO IT, DO IT TILL YOU'RE SATISFIED ♪ 182 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,427 ♪ COME ON AND DO IT, DO IT ♪ 183 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,129 ♪ DO IT TILL YOU'RE SATISFIED ♪ 184 00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:22,631 ♪ WHATEVER IT IS ♪ 185 00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:23,632 KINKY ! 186 00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,768 THIS ISN'T EVEN IN KINKY'S PARKING LOT. 187 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:28,853 I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT DAWG STYLE. 188 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,106 ♪ WHATEVER IT IS ♪ 189 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,642 ( Doug ) COME ON IN, GENTLEMEN. 190 00:11:33,642 --> 00:11:35,026 ♪ AS LONG AS IT PLEASES YOU ♪ 191 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,362 HI. 192 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,148 ♪ AS LONG AS YOU CAN ♪ 193 00:11:39,148 --> 00:11:41,533 IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS ? 194 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,735 IT CERTAINLY IS. 195 00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:46,038 WELL, SHARE THE WEALTH, BABY ! 196 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,622 MORE ! 197 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,041 OH, MORE. 198 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,158 ♪ WHATEVER IT IS ♪ 199 00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:51,660 ( screaming ) 200 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,078 OH ! 201 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:53,829 OH ! 202 00:11:54,663 --> 00:11:56,881 ( bell ringing ) 203 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,717 ( alarm clock buzzing ) 204 00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,760 ( elevator bell dinging ) 205 00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:11,096 ( people chattering ) 206 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,103 YOU MUST BE MR. MENFORD. 207 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,104 THAT'S RIGHT. 208 00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:21,106 DOUGLAS MENFORD IS HERE TO SEE YOU. 209 00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:23,109 ( Anna ) Thank you, Harris. Send him in. 210 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,110 GO RIGHT THROUGH THAT DOOR. 211 00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:25,611 GREAT, THANK YOU. 212 00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:33,168 GOOD MORNING. 213 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,621 IT COULD BE. 214 00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:37,122 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ? 215 00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,126 DO YOU WANT ME TO DO COMMUNITY SERVICE OR TAKE A PHYSICAL ? 216 00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:43,012 HEY, YOU NAME THE TIME AND THE PLACE, I'LL PEE IN THE CUP. 217 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:46,348 DID YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S DEATH AFFECT YOU AT ALL, MR. MENFORD ? 218 00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,349 LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE. 219 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:49,851 WHAT'RE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE ? $20,000 ? 220 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,270 HER LINCOLN TOWN CAR, WHAT ? 221 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,271 MR. MENFORD, 222 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,774 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT $1 MILLION. 223 00:12:56,892 --> 00:12:57,776 WE ARE ? 224 00:13:00,062 --> 00:13:01,446 YOU SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT WILL ? 225 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,397 OH, YEAH. 226 00:13:03,399 --> 00:13:04,900 HOLY SHIT ! 227 00:13:05,401 --> 00:13:06,452 WOW. 228 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,287 WHERE'D SHE GET THAT KIND OF MONEY ? 229 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:11,290 YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE IN YOUR FAMILY TO DABBLE IN THE STOCK MARKET. 230 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,792 I DON'T DABBLE, OK. I HELP PEOPLE WITH MONEY 231 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,294 DECIDE WHERE TO PUT IT. 232 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,296 OK ? AND AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, MY CAREER 233 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,298 HAPPENS TO BE, UH, YOU KNOW, KIND OF IN-- 234 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,801 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GET $1 MILLION ? 235 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:25,086 IT SEEMS THAT YOUR GRANDMOTHER WAS SOME KIND OF FINANCIAL GENIUS. 236 00:13:25,087 --> 00:13:27,889 GREAT. WHERE DO I SIGN ? 237 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,642 I'M AFRAID IT'S NOT QUITE THAT EASY, MR. MENFORD. 238 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,596 "I, KATHRYN J. MENFORD, 239 00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:36,599 "HEREBY DECLARE MY GRANDSON, 240 00:13:36,599 --> 00:13:38,100 "DOUGLAS LAWRENCE MENFORD, 241 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:41,103 "THE SOLE BENEFICIARY OF ALL MY MONETARY SAVINGS, 242 00:13:41,437 --> 00:13:42,905 "IF... 243 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,407 "AND ONLY IF... 244 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:48,860 HE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETES THE FOLLOWING MISSION." 245 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,864 MISSION ? 246 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,499 WHAT MISSION ? LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT THAT THING. 247 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,002 MR. MENFORD, HOW MANY SERIOUS GIRLFRIENDS HAVE YOU HAD ? 248 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,003 WHAT ? 249 00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,504 GIRLFRIENDS ? HOW MANY SERIOUS ? 250 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,507 WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MY GRANDMOTHER'S WILL ? 251 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,008 EVERYTHING, ACTUALLY. 252 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,509 NONE, OK, 253 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,178 'CAUSE AFTER A WHILE, THEY START HEARING WEDDING BELLS, SO-- 254 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,180 UM, HOW MANY GIRLS HAVE YOU, UM, 255 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,681 USED FOR SEX ? 256 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,183 USED FOR SEX ? 257 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,685 YEAH, YOU KNOW, ONE-NIGHT STANDS, SAYING "I LOVE YOU"-- 258 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,188 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 259 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,190 DO I HAVE TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION ? 260 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,191 YES, YOU DO. 261 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:20,692 TSK. 262 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,694 LET ME THINK ABOUT IT, UM... 263 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,697 ( sighing ) 264 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,705 WELL, UM... 265 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,211 YEAH, OK, I--I THINK WE GET THE MESSAGE. THANK YOU. 266 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,213 I'M ACTUALLY INTERESTED TO FIND OUT NOW. 267 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,631 NO, NO, PLEASE STOP. 268 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,135 NOW, CAN YOU JUST READ FROM HERE, THE 2ND PARAGRAPH, 269 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:49,638 I THINK YOU MAY GET MORE OF THE GIST OF WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. 270 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,762 "IN ORDER TO RECEIVE YOUR $1 MILLION, 271 00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:59,898 "YOU MUST TRACK DOWN A SIGNIFICANT NUMBER OF THESE WOMEN 272 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,401 AND GET THEM TO SAY THE WORDS 'I FORGIVE YOU.'" 273 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,402 ( scoffing ) 274 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,689 WHAT'S A SIGNIFICANT NUMBER ? 275 00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:08,691 A NICE, ROUND DOZEN. 276 00:15:08,691 --> 00:15:10,693 AND I SHALL SHADOW YOU EVERY SECOND 277 00:15:10,693 --> 00:15:12,494 OF EVERY DAY TO CHECK THAT YOU DON'T CHEAT. 278 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,947 AND IF I EVEN GET THE SLIGHTEST WHIFF OF ANY FRAUDULENCE, 279 00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:20,285 THE WHOLE DEAL IS OFF, AND HER ENTIRE ESTATE GOES TO THE LOCAL DOG SHELTER. 280 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:22,288 SO, ARE WE ON ? 281 00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,791 I GET TO PICK THE GIRLS. 282 00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:27,592 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. 283 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:31,513 YOU'D MANIPULATE THE ROSTER OR FIND SOME SILLY LITTLE GIRLS THAT WOULD COLLUDE WITH YOU. 284 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,515 YOUR GRANDMOTHER LOVED YOU, MR. MENFORD, 285 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,517 BUT SHE THOUGHT YOU BEHAVED LIKE AN ABSOLUTE JERK 286 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:38,102 WHEN IT CAME TO WOMEN. 287 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:42,107 NOW, THEN. HOW WOULD A MAN LIKE YOU RECORD HIS CONQUESTS, HUH ? 288 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,725 HAVE YOU GOT A LITTLE BLACK BOOK ? 289 00:15:43,726 --> 00:15:44,610 NO. 290 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,144 DO YOU MAKE NOTCHES ON THE BEDPOST ? 291 00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,196 NO. 292 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,114 THEN, UH, HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS ? 293 00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:59,541 OH, THESE ARE DISGUSTING ! 294 00:16:01,744 --> 00:16:03,045 RIGHT. 295 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,547 I AM GOING TO SORT THESE OUT. 296 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,049 OH ! 297 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,053 OK. 298 00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,508 PLAY POKER, MR. MENFORD ? 299 00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:17,809 NOT REALLY. 300 00:16:18,093 --> 00:16:20,512 WELL, LET'S HOPE YOU DRAW A LUCKY HAND. 301 00:16:28,437 --> 00:16:29,688 PHEW ! 302 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,574 THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 303 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:33,575 RIGHT. 304 00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,076 VERY GOOD. 305 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,613 NOT GOOD. 306 00:16:38,614 --> 00:16:41,116 SOME OF THESE GIRLS ARE GONNA BE HARD. 307 00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:42,367 AND 12. 308 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,754 OK, 12 IT IS. 309 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,041 WHOO, BOY ! 310 00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:43,061 UGH ! 311 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:22,134 ( sighing ) 312 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,305 WHAT ? 313 00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:35,814 ( grunting ) 314 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:38,733 GOOD MORNING. 315 00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:40,235 HELLO. 316 00:18:40,235 --> 00:18:41,236 NEED ALL THESE BAGS ? 317 00:18:41,236 --> 00:18:42,654 OF COURSE I DO. 318 00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:44,656 WHAT THE HELL IS IN THIS ONE ? KITCHEN APPLIANCES ? 319 00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:45,657 ( groaning ) 320 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:47,208 NO, JUST A LITTLE READING MATTER. 321 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,210 CAREFUL ! 322 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:49,711 OH, MY GOD ! 323 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,298 READING MATTER, MY ASS ! 324 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,799 ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA. 325 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,801 OK. 326 00:18:58,804 --> 00:18:59,838 NOW WHAT ? 327 00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:01,256 THE DOOR. 328 00:19:01,757 --> 00:19:03,258 THERE IT IS. 329 00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:04,760 HA-HA. 330 00:19:08,764 --> 00:19:11,266 MR. MENFORD, ONE THING: I AM A NERVOUS PASSENGER. 331 00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:12,267 UH-HUH. 332 00:19:12,267 --> 00:19:14,269 PLEASE KEEP TO THE SPEED LIMIT. 333 00:19:14,269 --> 00:19:15,270 YEP. 334 00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:17,021 ( car engine starting ) 335 00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:23,945 ( Burn me down by Evan Olson playing ) 336 00:19:23,946 --> 00:19:27,449 ♪ BAD DAYS COME AND BAD DAYS GO ♪ 337 00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:30,369 ♪ THEN EVERYTHING'S JUST FINE ♪ 338 00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:33,371 ♪ AND LIFE MAY BE A TRAGEDY ♪ 339 00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:35,673 ♪ BUT I AIN'T GONNA LET IT BOTHER ME ♪ 340 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,460 ♪ 'CAUSE I'D BE WASTIN' TIME ♪ 341 00:19:39,962 --> 00:19:43,966 ♪ I TAKE IT FOR GRANTED AND SMILE ♪ 342 00:19:43,966 --> 00:19:47,936 ♪ THAT WAY I WON'T LET IT BURN ME DOWN ♪ 343 00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:59,030 ♪ EVERYBODY KNOWS SOMEBODY ELSE ♪ 344 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,033 ♪ WHO KNOWS IT ALL ♪ 345 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,535 ( tires screeching ) 346 00:20:10,826 --> 00:20:12,327 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 347 00:20:12,327 --> 00:20:13,328 WHERE ARE YOU GOING ? 348 00:20:13,328 --> 00:20:14,829 WHY, INSIDE WITH YOU, OF COURSE. 349 00:20:14,830 --> 00:20:17,332 NO, NO, NO, I'M NERVOUS ENOUGH AS IT IS. NO WAY. NO WAY. 350 00:20:17,332 --> 00:20:19,334 HEY, LET'S JUST RECAP HERE A LITTLE BIT, OK ? 351 00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:21,836 YOUR JOB IS TO SECURE 12 "I FORGIVE YOUs." 352 00:20:21,837 --> 00:20:23,839 MY JOB IS TO WITNESS THAT. 353 00:20:23,839 --> 00:20:25,841 THEREFORE, I HAVE TO BE PRESENT. 354 00:20:26,842 --> 00:20:27,843 AH ! 355 00:20:27,843 --> 00:20:29,845 ALL RIGHT, GODDAMIT, LET'S GET IT OVER WITH. 356 00:20:29,845 --> 00:20:32,347 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO START A RELATIONSHIP WITH TRUST. 357 00:20:32,347 --> 00:20:34,349 LEAST YOU COULD GIVE ME THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT. 358 00:20:34,349 --> 00:20:35,850 RELATIONSHIP ? 359 00:20:36,351 --> 00:20:38,353 BY YOUR ADMISSION, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD. 360 00:20:38,353 --> 00:20:39,437 VERY FUNNY. 361 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,941 ( sighing ) 362 00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:45,944 WELL ? 363 00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:48,947 I'M JUST REFLECTING ON MY GRANDMOTHER'S KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR. 364 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:51,950 ( sighing ) 365 00:20:52,951 --> 00:20:55,336 HEY, EASY, SHE MIGHT HEAR YOU. 366 00:21:00,542 --> 00:21:02,343 ( door opening ) 367 00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,513 OH, MAN, NO WAY ! 368 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:06,298 HI, MEGAN. 369 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:07,549 DOUG MENFORD ? 370 00:21:07,549 --> 00:21:08,516 YEAH, IT'S ME. 371 00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:09,934 UH, THIS IS ANNA. 372 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,436 HI. 373 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:13,438 HOLY SHIT ! 374 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:16,441 WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT THAT ALMOST 6 YEARS AFTER RAPPING BACKSTAGE WITH THE BEASTIES, 375 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,942 YOU'D BE KNOCKING ON MY DOOR ? 376 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,894 DO YOU REMEMBER THE BEASTIE ACRONYM ? 377 00:21:19,895 --> 00:21:21,396 UH... 378 00:21:21,396 --> 00:21:23,114 BOYS ENTERING 379 00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:25,450 ANARCHISTIC STATES TOWARDS INTERNAL-- 380 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,151 EXCELLENCE. 381 00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:29,404 MAN, THIS IS SO WEIRD. 382 00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:30,489 YEAH. 383 00:21:33,909 --> 00:21:35,043 DO YOU MIND IF WE COME IN ? 384 00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,828 NO ! 385 00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:38,830 I MEAN, UH, NO, PLEASE DO. 386 00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:40,498 ( laughing ) 387 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:45,387 JEEZ. 388 00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:48,173 EXCUSE THE MESS. IT'S JUST ME AND MY FRIENDS. 389 00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:49,974 ( cats mewing ) 390 00:21:50,258 --> 00:21:52,226 WE DON'T GET MANY VISITORS. 391 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,229 PLEASE, 392 00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:57,232 PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. HAVE A SEAT. 393 00:22:02,270 --> 00:22:04,655 SO, TELL ME ALREADY, 394 00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:07,909 WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE ? 395 00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:10,194 WELL, I--I--I NEEDED TO SEE YOU. 396 00:22:10,696 --> 00:22:12,497 YEAH, RIGHT. 397 00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:13,664 NO, SERIOUSLY. 398 00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:14,949 WHY ? 399 00:22:14,950 --> 00:22:15,784 OH ! 400 00:22:16,284 --> 00:22:17,702 GET DOWN, "H" ! 401 00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:19,204 "H" ? 402 00:22:19,204 --> 00:22:20,004 IS THAT SHORT FOR SOMETHING ? 403 00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:21,873 NO, IT'S HER NAME. 404 00:22:21,873 --> 00:22:24,375 TO KEEP THINGS EASY, I JUST ASSIGN THEM ALL LETTERS. 405 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,378 IT GETS TO BE KIND OF A BITCH, THOUGH. 406 00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:29,381 "B" SOMETIMES COMES WHEN I CALL "P." 407 00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:31,516 "M" ANSWERS TO "N." 408 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,434 UH-HUH. 409 00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:35,937 SO, YOU WERE SAYING YOU NEEDED TO SEE ME ? 410 00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:37,355 UM... 411 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,357 ( cat yowling ) 412 00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:41,809 CAN I HAVE A DRINK ? 413 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:43,311 MAN, 414 00:22:43,311 --> 00:22:45,279 I AM SO RUDE ! 415 00:22:46,982 --> 00:22:47,899 ANNA ? 416 00:22:47,899 --> 00:22:49,283 OH, NO, NOT FOR ME, THANKS. 417 00:22:49,284 --> 00:22:50,118 DOUG ? 418 00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:51,569 JAGER AND COKE. 419 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:57,876 THE WOMAN'S INSANE, HOW COULD YOU HAVE HAD SEX WITH HER ? 420 00:22:57,876 --> 00:22:59,377 SHE WASN'T CRAZY WHEN I HAD SEX WITH HER. 421 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,380 SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY CATS, EITHER. 422 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:04,883 NO. NO, YOU CAN HELP OUT HERE, OK, IF YOU'RE GONNA SIT HERE IN THE ROOM, 423 00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:06,384 YOU MIGHT AS WELL THROW IN A LITTLE-- 424 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:09,187 OH, SURE, DO IT ALL FOR YOU. WOULDN'T THAT RATHER DEFEAT-- HEY. 425 00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:12,723 THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 426 00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:14,225 I APPRECIATE IT. 427 00:23:15,343 --> 00:23:16,594 MEGAN, 428 00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:17,762 UH-HUH. 429 00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:22,100 UH, ANNA HERE IS ACTUALLY MY A.A. COACH. 430 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:23,184 HMM ? 431 00:23:23,185 --> 00:23:24,186 YEAH. 432 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:30,442 ACTUALLY, A--A SPECIAL PROGRAM THAT I'M IN, 433 00:23:30,442 --> 00:23:32,444 IT'S A NEW THING WHERE YOU'RE ALLOWED TO HAVE, UH, 434 00:23:32,444 --> 00:23:33,445 3 DRINKS, 435 00:23:33,445 --> 00:23:34,446 AHEM, 436 00:23:34,446 --> 00:23:36,448 A DAY, 437 00:23:36,448 --> 00:23:39,834 FOR 3 WEEKS, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE WE LEAD SUCH... 438 00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:42,587 HURTFUL LIVES, REALLY, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. 439 00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:45,706 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, JUST COMING AND GOING. WE LAY WASTE OUR TIME. 440 00:23:45,707 --> 00:23:47,208 IT'S WHAT WE DO AND-- 441 00:23:47,209 --> 00:23:48,210 MR. MENFORD. 442 00:23:48,210 --> 00:23:49,461 CATHARSIS. DOUG. 443 00:23:49,795 --> 00:23:52,297 LIKE--LIKE O-OLD RELATIONSHIPS, FOR INSTANCE. 444 00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:54,299 YOU KNOW, WE--WE-- SOMETIMES WE SAY AND DO THINGS, 445 00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:56,801 WE DON'T REALIZE HOW IT AFFECTS PEOPLE, YOU KNOW. 446 00:23:58,303 --> 00:23:59,804 AND, UH, 447 00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:02,140 AND THAT'S THE THING. FOR INSTANCE, 448 00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:06,194 I--I--I HOPE I HAVEN'T SAID THINGS IN THE PAST THAT MIGHT HAVE HURT YOU. 449 00:24:06,194 --> 00:24:08,696 I LIKE THE THINGS YOU SAID, 450 00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:09,531 WHEN WE TALKED. 451 00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:10,481 YES. 452 00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:12,400 BUT, SEE, YOU'RE MAKING IT EASY FOR ME, 453 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,901 AND I WANT IT TO BE HARD. 454 00:24:13,902 --> 00:24:15,904 I WANT TO... I WANT TO FEEL THE PAIN. 455 00:24:15,904 --> 00:24:18,456 I WANT IT TO-- I WANT IT TO HURT. I WANT IT TO HAVE... 456 00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:19,574 DEEPER MEANING, REALLY. 457 00:24:19,908 --> 00:24:20,792 ( gasping ) 458 00:24:24,496 --> 00:24:25,964 OH, NO. 459 00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:27,465 OH, MY GOD ! 460 00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:28,800 ( Megan gasping ) 461 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,469 THIS HAS BEEN AROUND FOR 3 GENERATIONS. 462 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:32,337 OH, REALLY ? 463 00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:35,556 MY GRANDMOTHER HANDED THIS DOWN TO MY MOTHER, 464 00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:38,927 AND MY MOTHER PASSED IT ON TO ME. 465 00:24:38,927 --> 00:24:42,096 THIS IS A RILEY HEIRLOOM. 466 00:24:43,398 --> 00:24:45,817 I'M SO SORRY. OH, I... 467 00:24:45,817 --> 00:24:48,820 I COULDN'T BE SORRIER EVEN IF I WAS SORRIER. 468 00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,189 YOU ARE VERY SORRY, MR. MENFORD. 469 00:24:51,189 --> 00:24:53,157 YES, I AM. I'M EXTREMELY SORRY. 470 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:56,161 I'M--I'M TERRIBLY, HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY SORRY ABOUT THIS. 471 00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:58,163 AND HERE I WAS MAKING AN APOLOGY, 472 00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,665 AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE APOLOGY, I HAVE TO MAKE ANOTHER APOLOGY. 473 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,418 I'M SO APOLOGETIC RIGHT NOW ABOUT HOW SORRY-- 474 00:25:03,418 --> 00:25:04,285 SHUT IT ! 475 00:25:04,286 --> 00:25:07,255 SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT ! 476 00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:08,839 I FORGIVE YOU ! 477 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,625 OK. 478 00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:13,260 WELL, WE GOT TO GO. SEE YOU LATER. 479 00:25:14,262 --> 00:25:15,763 SORRY. 480 00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:17,265 ( crying ) 481 00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:18,516 OH, OH. 482 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,101 YOU CHEATED. 483 00:25:20,101 --> 00:25:22,303 YES, AND ? 484 00:25:22,304 --> 00:25:25,190 MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST QUIT NOW AND FORGET ABOUT THE MILLION DOLLARS. 485 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:27,692 YOU CAN'T STAND THAT I SCORED. 486 00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:30,861 WHAT YOU DID BACK THERE WAS DESPICABLE. 487 00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:34,482 HEY, LOOK, YOU SAID NO COLLUSION. YOU SAID NOTHING ABOUT CUTTING CORNERS. 488 00:25:34,482 --> 00:25:36,984 CUTTING CORNERS IS CHEATING. 489 00:25:37,485 --> 00:25:40,488 HEY, BUT IF THAT'S THE ROAD YOU WANNA GO, JUST KISS THE MONEY GOODBYE. 490 00:25:40,488 --> 00:25:43,541 YOU KNOW, AS LONG AS WE'RE REDEFINING THE DEAL, LET'S GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. 491 00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,827 FROM NOW ON, YOU STAY IN THE CAR. 492 00:25:45,827 --> 00:25:48,713 OK, YOU DO NOT COME INSIDE. YOU STAY IN THE CAR. PERIOD. 493 00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:54,002 THE PIN-DROP 3000 RECEIVER. 494 00:25:54,002 --> 00:25:57,305 WITHOUT A DOUBT, THIS REPRESENTS THE CUTTING EDGE IN AUDIOPHILIC TECHNOLOGY. 495 00:25:57,806 --> 00:25:59,808 THE BAND FREQUENCIES ACTUALLY... 496 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,143 BEND THE WAVES WITHIN THE COCHLEA, 497 00:26:02,143 --> 00:26:05,813 CAUSING THE EAR ITSELF TO BECOME A CACOPHONIC RESONATOR. 498 00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:08,817 ADDITIONALLY, THE RECEIVER HAS A BUILT-IN MICROPHONE 499 00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:13,354 WITH A TRANSMITTING CAPACITY OF 15,000 UBERHERTZ. 500 00:26:13,355 --> 00:26:16,191 THE RATIO OF CONDUCTION TO RECEPTION IS BEYOND COMPARE, 501 00:26:16,191 --> 00:26:19,444 SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE GRAPHOLOGIC PARADIGM OF BEING... 502 00:26:19,444 --> 00:26:20,862 ( bird cawing ) 503 00:26:21,863 --> 00:26:23,164 IN THE SAME ROOM. 504 00:26:23,164 --> 00:26:26,784 FOR AN ADDITIONAL 3 DOLLARS, I'LL THROW IN A FOUNTAIN PEN. 505 00:26:29,037 --> 00:26:30,371 ON THE OTHER HAND-- 506 00:26:30,372 --> 00:26:31,873 COULD YOU JUST GO BACK TO THE BIT ABOUT THE-- 507 00:26:31,873 --> 00:26:33,007 WE'LL TAKE THEM. 508 00:26:33,508 --> 00:26:34,759 HMM. 509 00:26:36,544 --> 00:26:37,678 ( static ) 510 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,098 CAN YOU SEE IT ? 511 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:41,599 NO, IT LOOKS GREAT. 512 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,601 OK, SO, 513 00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:44,769 WE'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO HEAR EACH OTHER 514 00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:46,771 AND TALK TO EACH OTHER IF WE NEED TO. 515 00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:48,773 RIGHT. WHO'S NEXT ? 516 00:26:48,773 --> 00:26:50,224 KIANA MORTENSON. 517 00:26:50,225 --> 00:26:51,476 OOH, KIANA ! 518 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:00,452 ( dog barking ) 519 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,454 PERFECT. OK, NOW LET'S TEST THIS EQUIPMENT. 520 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:04,956 YOU JUMP OUT OF THE CAR, WALK A LITTLE BIT AWAY, 521 00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:08,459 AND I AM GOING TO SAY, "TESTING, TESTING," OK ? 522 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,961 TESTING. 523 00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:11,462 TESTING. 524 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:12,464 TESTING. 525 00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:14,465 TESTING ! 526 00:27:17,252 --> 00:27:18,753 ( drums beating ) 527 00:27:23,258 --> 00:27:24,759 DOES IT WORK, THEN ? 528 00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:27,562 MR. MENFORD ? 529 00:27:33,435 --> 00:27:34,569 OH, YES. 530 00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:55,506 HEY ! 531 00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:57,375 THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. 532 00:27:57,375 --> 00:28:00,177 ALL YOU NEED IS THAT PLACE DOWN THE CARIBBEAN, AND YOU'LL BE ALL SET. 533 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:03,181 YOU REMEMBERED. LONG TIME NO SEE. 534 00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:05,266 HOW ABOUT SOME ICED TEA ? 535 00:28:08,269 --> 00:28:09,770 I MISSED YOU. 536 00:28:12,273 --> 00:28:14,275 FIGURED I'D TAKE A SHOT AND SEE IF YOU'RE STILL AROUND. 537 00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:17,278 PART OF ME THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE IN SAINT CROIX BY NOW, BUT... 538 00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:19,280 ARE YOU DISAPPOINTED ? 539 00:28:21,783 --> 00:28:23,151 ( moaning ) 540 00:28:25,153 --> 00:28:26,537 ( Kiana screaming ) 541 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:29,574 WA-WA-WAIT ! I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 542 00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:36,831 ( door creaking ) 543 00:28:38,833 --> 00:28:40,334 HOLY SHIT. 544 00:28:41,336 --> 00:28:42,837 I DID IT MYSELF. 545 00:28:42,837 --> 00:28:44,555 ( bird cawing ) 546 00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:46,424 IT'S MY DREAM SPACE. 547 00:28:46,424 --> 00:28:48,058 ( grunting ) 548 00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:50,562 OH, OH. 549 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:52,564 ( man singing Spanish ) 550 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:54,732 ( groaning ) 551 00:28:56,851 --> 00:28:58,652 ( shrieking ) 552 00:28:58,653 --> 00:29:00,404 OH, NO. 553 00:29:01,773 --> 00:29:03,107 I'LL GET IT, I'LL GET IT. 554 00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:05,743 OH, NO. I HAVE IT. GIVE IT TO ME. 555 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:06,578 HERE WE GO. 556 00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:08,079 LET ME DO IT ! OK. 557 00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:09,080 LET ME DO IT ! 558 00:29:10,081 --> 00:29:11,699 GOOD, GOOD. 559 00:29:11,699 --> 00:29:13,417 ( grunting ) 560 00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:15,086 HELP ME. I AM. 561 00:29:15,086 --> 00:29:16,036 OK, WAIT... 562 00:29:16,037 --> 00:29:17,538 OK. OK. 563 00:29:17,956 --> 00:29:19,257 UP ! UP... 564 00:29:19,257 --> 00:29:20,758 WHAT, WHAT'S WRONG ? 565 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,293 I WANT TO BE ON TOP. 566 00:29:24,796 --> 00:29:25,797 OK. 567 00:29:25,797 --> 00:29:27,298 Ok. All right, go, go. 568 00:29:27,799 --> 00:29:28,599 GO THIS WAY. 569 00:29:29,017 --> 00:29:30,018 ALL RIGHT. 570 00:29:31,352 --> 00:29:34,688 WAIT, WAIT. ON THE COUNT OF 3. 1, 2, 3. 571 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:36,641 DID YOU SAY "3" YET ? 572 00:29:36,641 --> 00:29:37,642 YEAH, I DID. 573 00:29:37,642 --> 00:29:39,026 OK, 3, ROLL. 574 00:29:39,027 --> 00:29:40,478 I'M TRYING TO ROLL. 575 00:29:40,478 --> 00:29:41,779 PULL MY BUTT ! 576 00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:42,897 OH, YEAH. 577 00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:45,200 ( both ) AH. 578 00:29:45,567 --> 00:29:46,484 AH. 579 00:29:47,485 --> 00:29:48,569 KIANA... 580 00:29:48,570 --> 00:29:49,454 WHAT ? 581 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,955 SORRY, I--I--I... 582 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:53,457 OH, OW, OW. 583 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:56,911 SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU IN THE THEATRE. 584 00:29:56,911 --> 00:29:59,330 I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE POPCORN AND COME BACK. 585 00:29:59,330 --> 00:30:00,631 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. 586 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:01,799 ( groaning ) 587 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,251 OH, MY GOD ! 588 00:30:03,251 --> 00:30:05,002 ( moaning ) 589 00:30:07,305 --> 00:30:08,506 ( screaming ) 590 00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:10,808 ( grunting ) 591 00:30:11,593 --> 00:30:12,594 AH. 592 00:30:13,595 --> 00:30:15,096 I FORGIVE YOU. 593 00:30:16,097 --> 00:30:17,431 ( sighing ) 594 00:30:17,432 --> 00:30:18,816 OH, 595 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:20,318 I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 596 00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:22,320 RIGHT. 597 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:25,824 ( engine starting ) 598 00:30:35,617 --> 00:30:36,618 OH, SHIT ! 599 00:30:37,619 --> 00:30:39,420 ( car horn honking ) 600 00:30:42,257 --> 00:30:43,758 ( sighing ) 601 00:30:57,021 --> 00:30:58,689 VERY FUNNY. 602 00:30:59,107 --> 00:31:01,109 SERVES YOU RIGHT. 603 00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:03,111 WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' UP HERE ? 604 00:31:03,111 --> 00:31:05,613 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS ONE WITH DECENCY. 605 00:31:05,613 --> 00:31:07,031 TRUST ME, SHE'S NOT MAD, OK ? 606 00:31:07,031 --> 00:31:08,532 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT ? 607 00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:11,536 BECAUSE SHE LOVES SEX AS MUCH AS I DO, OK ? 608 00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:16,040 SEX IS JUST AN ACTIVITY TO YOU, ISN'T IT ? 609 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,041 NO. 610 00:31:18,459 --> 00:31:21,128 SEX IS A BIG, GIANT PARTY. 611 00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:23,381 YEAH, WELL, IT'S MORE THAN THAT TO WOMEN. I CAN ASSURE YOU. 612 00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,383 YOU HAVE SEX WITH THE SAME WOMAN LONG ENOUGH, 613 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,168 SHE WANTS TO HAVE YOUR BABY. 614 00:31:27,168 --> 00:31:30,421 REVELATION ! DOUG MENFORD IS TERRIFIED OF CHILDREN. 615 00:31:30,755 --> 00:31:31,756 I'M NOT FRIGHTENED OF CHILDREN, 616 00:31:31,756 --> 00:31:33,758 I LOVE THEM, I JUST DON'T WANT TO HAVE THEM. 617 00:31:34,259 --> 00:31:36,561 THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. ONE'S A PHOBIA, THE OTHER ONE IS A CHOICE. 618 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,563 I THINK YOU'RE THE MOST SEXIST, SHALLOW, 619 00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:41,315 SELF-CENTERED MAN I'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO MEET. 620 00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:44,102 SHE WAS HORNY, I WAS THERE. IT'S CALLED TIMING. 621 00:31:44,102 --> 00:31:45,987 YOU MEAN SHE JUST HAD SEX WITH YOU 622 00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:47,571 WITHOUT GIVING IT A SECOND THOUGHT ? 623 00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:48,572 PRETTY MUCH. 624 00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:50,074 I THINK THAT'S SAD AND WEAK. 625 00:31:50,325 --> 00:31:51,609 I THINK YOU HAVE, A: A PROBLEM WITH 626 00:31:52,110 --> 00:31:54,412 SEXUAL WOMEN, OR B: A PROBLEM WITH SEX. 627 00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:56,414 I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU. 628 00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:57,915 I DIDN'T SPEND YEARS IN LAW SCHOOL 629 00:31:57,916 --> 00:31:59,918 JUST SO I COULD FOLLOW YOU AROUND, 630 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:02,787 DOCUMENTING YOUR SEXUALLY DEVIANT BEHAVIOR. 631 00:32:02,787 --> 00:32:06,340 HEY, TAKE THAT STUPID GRIN OFF YOUR FACE AND DRIVE, OK. 632 00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:07,625 LET'S GO, SHALL WE ? 633 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,741 ( horse neighing ) 634 00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:03,147 ( inaudible ) 635 00:33:04,232 --> 00:33:05,766 ( inaudible ) 636 00:33:11,272 --> 00:33:12,773 ( beeping ) 637 00:33:14,075 --> 00:33:14,942 ( cell phone ringing ) 638 00:33:18,413 --> 00:33:20,198 ( inaudible ) 639 00:33:20,698 --> 00:33:22,366 ( inaudible ) 640 00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:54,949 HEY ! 641 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,402 HEY, YOU GUYS. 642 00:33:59,537 --> 00:34:01,405 ( girls together ) WE FORGIVE YOU ! 643 00:34:01,406 --> 00:34:02,407 ( laughing ) 644 00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:21,892 GOOD EVENING. WHAT DO YOU WANT ? 645 00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:23,394 I CAME TO CELEBRATE. 646 00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:26,397 WELL, ISN'T THAT A BIT PREMATURE ? 647 00:34:26,397 --> 00:34:27,898 I DON'T THINK SO. 648 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:30,401 I'M OFF TO A GOOD START. 649 00:34:30,401 --> 00:34:32,903 I'VE GOT 2 DAYS TO GET 5 MORE. SO... 650 00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:35,406 LET'S HAVE A DRINK. 651 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:36,908 I'M WORKING. 652 00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,410 JUST ONE. TAKE A BREAK. 653 00:34:40,995 --> 00:34:42,780 I THINK I'LL PASS. 654 00:34:45,199 --> 00:34:47,784 SO, WHAT'S YOUR DEAL ? 655 00:34:47,785 --> 00:34:51,588 I MEAN, THERE MUST BE MORE TO ANNA LOCKHEART THAN BOOKS AND BUSINESS. 656 00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:53,090 WHAT WOULD I FIND LISTED UNDER HOBBIES ? 657 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:55,293 BETTER YET, WHAT WOULD I FIND LISTED UNDER SKILLS ? 658 00:34:55,293 --> 00:34:58,012 MAYBE YOU'LL FIND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR UNDER... 659 00:34:58,012 --> 00:35:00,297 MARITAL STATUS. 660 00:35:00,298 --> 00:35:01,382 YOU'RE MARRIED. 661 00:35:01,382 --> 00:35:03,384 HAPPILY. HIS NAME'S COLE. 662 00:35:03,384 --> 00:35:04,768 COLE. 663 00:35:05,219 --> 00:35:07,521 WHERE'S THE RING ? 664 00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:11,025 OH, GETTING RESET. ONE OF THE PRONGS BROKE. 665 00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:12,026 EXCUSE ME. 666 00:35:13,027 --> 00:35:14,528 OH, REALLY ? 667 00:35:14,529 --> 00:35:16,030 GENTLE REMINDER, MR. MENFORD 668 00:35:16,531 --> 00:35:18,032 I'M HERE BECAUSE I MADE A PROMISE 669 00:35:18,032 --> 00:35:20,534 TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER, WHO WAS A SWEET AND LOVELY WOMAN. 670 00:35:20,535 --> 00:35:23,538 AND THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THIS EXPEDITION WAS TO HUMBLE YOU, TO TAME YOUR EGO, 671 00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,623 NOT TO BLOW IT OUT OF ALL PROPORTION. 672 00:35:25,623 --> 00:35:27,992 WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO MY GRANDMOTHER, SCREW THAT. 673 00:35:28,493 --> 00:35:30,495 'CAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT THE LUCKY 7s NOW. 674 00:35:30,495 --> 00:35:31,996 YOU'RE REALLY ENJOYING THIS, AREN'T YOU ? 675 00:35:32,497 --> 00:35:33,498 YES, I AM. 676 00:35:33,498 --> 00:35:36,501 WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GO AND ENJOY IT IN YOUR OWN ROOM ? 677 00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:38,002 OK. 678 00:35:38,503 --> 00:35:41,005 WELL, HERE'S TO 7 FOR 7. 679 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,431 ( train horn blowing ) 680 00:36:04,445 --> 00:36:05,946 ( car tires screeching ) 681 00:36:18,009 --> 00:36:19,510 ( people chattering ) 682 00:36:27,885 --> 00:36:30,888 LISTEN, THIS LAYOUT JUST ISN'T WORKING. 683 00:36:33,891 --> 00:36:34,808 WOW ! 684 00:36:34,809 --> 00:36:36,060 HI, CHRISTINE. 685 00:36:36,060 --> 00:36:38,062 EXCUSE ME, LADIES. 686 00:36:38,062 --> 00:36:41,281 HONEY, THIS IS DOUG MENFORD. 687 00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:43,701 DOUG MENFORD, THE EXPERIMENT. 688 00:36:43,701 --> 00:36:46,286 DON'T WORRY, BROTHER, IT'S ALL GOOD. 689 00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:50,291 I'M SORRY, DOUG, DID I MISS THE REASON FOR YOUR UNSOLICITED VISIT ? 690 00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:52,710 WELL, I--I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE-- 691 00:36:52,710 --> 00:36:54,044 ( laughing ) 692 00:36:54,829 --> 00:36:56,130 OH, SHIT ! 693 00:36:56,547 --> 00:36:58,549 I'M GONNA KEEP THIS BRIEF AND PAINFUL, 694 00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:00,835 MUCH LIKE OUR TIME TOGETHER. 695 00:37:00,835 --> 00:37:03,671 YOUR APOLOGY IS NOT ACCEPTED. 696 00:37:04,171 --> 00:37:06,006 APPARENTLY, IT AIN'T ALL GOOD. 697 00:37:06,007 --> 00:37:08,309 NO, BUT I--I REALLY JUST WANTED TO SAY ONE-- 698 00:37:17,435 --> 00:37:18,936 EXPERIMENT ? 699 00:37:18,936 --> 00:37:21,438 I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER BRIEF IDENTITY CRISIS, OK. 700 00:37:21,439 --> 00:37:22,690 I WAS HER MR. WHITE. 701 00:37:22,990 --> 00:37:24,825 OOH, BAD CHOICE ON HER PART GETTING YOU. 702 00:37:24,825 --> 00:37:27,777 I'M BARELY OUT OF THE BLOCKS ON DAY 2, AND I GET SCREWED BY A POLITICIAN. 703 00:37:27,778 --> 00:37:28,779 THANK YOU MAYOR HODGES. 704 00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:31,449 HEY, DON'T BE PATHETIC. GET BACK IN THERE. 705 00:37:31,449 --> 00:37:32,450 AND DO WHAT ? 706 00:37:32,450 --> 00:37:33,667 THROW DOWN WITH BILLY DEE ? 707 00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:35,786 REPEAT WHATEVER I SAY. 708 00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:38,088 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? 709 00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:41,008 I'LL BE YOUR PROMPTER, JUST SAY WHAT I SAY, VERBATIM. 710 00:37:41,008 --> 00:37:42,092 YOU'RE TRYIN' TO TRICK ME ? 711 00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:43,961 DO YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA ? 712 00:37:47,882 --> 00:37:51,302 ( Christine ) I JUST HATE THIS LAYOUT. WE CAN DO BETTER, THAT'S ALL. 713 00:37:52,303 --> 00:37:54,355 NOW WHAT ? 714 00:37:54,355 --> 00:37:56,440 I HAVE SOMETHING THAT I NEEDED TO SAY. 715 00:37:57,441 --> 00:37:58,942 I'M WAITING. 716 00:38:00,478 --> 00:38:01,479 ( sighing ) 717 00:38:03,230 --> 00:38:04,731 SO AM I. 718 00:38:09,654 --> 00:38:10,905 WAITING. 719 00:38:10,905 --> 00:38:12,907 For my entire life, 720 00:38:12,907 --> 00:38:15,376 I've been a sexual slug. 721 00:38:15,376 --> 00:38:16,326 WHAT ? HUH ? 722 00:38:16,327 --> 00:38:18,212 A sexual slug. 723 00:38:18,212 --> 00:38:20,214 OH, OH, UM, WOW... 724 00:38:20,715 --> 00:38:21,716 UH... 725 00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:23,217 UM, AHEM. 726 00:38:23,884 --> 00:38:25,085 Say it ! 727 00:38:26,587 --> 00:38:28,922 CHRISTINE, UH, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, 728 00:38:28,923 --> 00:38:32,343 I HAVE HAD, UH, SOME SIGNIFICANT, UH... 729 00:38:32,843 --> 00:38:34,227 UM... 730 00:38:34,228 --> 00:38:37,598 BREAKTHROUGHS RECENTLY, AND, UH, I'VE--I'VE, UM... 731 00:38:37,598 --> 00:38:39,399 ( man ) "AND, UM, AND, UM," TALK OR WALK ! 732 00:38:39,767 --> 00:38:40,601 SPIT IT OUT, DOUG. 733 00:38:41,068 --> 00:38:42,903 $1 million, Douglas ! 734 00:38:42,903 --> 00:38:45,906 FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE, I'VE SORT OF BEEN A, UM-- 735 00:38:45,906 --> 00:38:49,276 EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A CAMPAIGN TO RUN HERE. 736 00:38:49,276 --> 00:38:52,195 ALL MY LIFE, I HAVE BEEN A SEXUAL SLUG. 737 00:38:52,196 --> 00:38:53,330 HA, YEAH. 738 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:56,000 And a repugnant, pompous dick. 739 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,668 AND A REPUGNANT, POMPOUS GUY. 740 00:38:57,668 --> 00:38:58,752 Dick. 741 00:38:58,753 --> 00:38:59,670 DICK. DICK ? 742 00:39:00,004 --> 00:39:01,005 WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A DICK ? 743 00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:02,039 NO, I WAS A DICK. 744 00:39:02,039 --> 00:39:03,206 YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN. 745 00:39:03,207 --> 00:39:04,374 OH, I'M LOVIN' THIS. 746 00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:06,009 THIS IS FASCINATING. 747 00:39:06,377 --> 00:39:07,711 UM, UH... 748 00:39:07,712 --> 00:39:08,763 KEEP GOIN' ! 749 00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:10,131 UM, UM, LET'S GO. 750 00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:12,132 I recently had an epiphany. 751 00:39:12,133 --> 00:39:14,018 WAIT ! RECENTLY, I HAD A-AN EPIPHANY. 752 00:39:14,468 --> 00:39:16,770 EPIPHANY ? NOW, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. COME ON, COME ON ! 753 00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:18,773 YEAH, I--I DISRESPECTED YOU AND-- 754 00:39:19,056 --> 00:39:20,440 And I saw your skin color 755 00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:21,809 as just another conquest. 756 00:39:21,809 --> 00:39:23,060 I NEVER SAID THAT. 757 00:39:23,060 --> 00:39:23,977 SAID WHAT ? 758 00:39:24,478 --> 00:39:25,562 ( sighing ) 759 00:39:25,563 --> 00:39:28,616 I SAW YOUR SKIN COLOR AS JUST ANOTHER CONQUEST. 760 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:30,784 ( grunting ) 761 00:39:33,821 --> 00:39:37,324 AND I WAS WRONG, AND I BEG YOUR FORGIVENESS. 762 00:39:40,828 --> 00:39:42,830 WOW, 763 00:39:42,830 --> 00:39:46,834 THAT MUST HAVE BEEN VERY DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO SAY. 764 00:39:46,834 --> 00:39:49,803 LET HIM GO, DREW. OH, IT'S OK, LET HIM GO. 765 00:39:52,173 --> 00:39:53,257 ( sighing ) 766 00:39:53,758 --> 00:39:55,259 OK, YOU GOT IT. 767 00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:57,311 I FORGIVE YOU. 768 00:39:57,311 --> 00:39:59,930 OH, THANKS. GREAT, THANK YOU. 769 00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:02,933 YOU KNOW, MY MAN, YOU BRING NEW MEANING TO THE WORD "WHITE LIE." 770 00:40:03,434 --> 00:40:04,401 HA, HA ! 771 00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:05,903 VOTE FOR HODGES. 772 00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:10,991 HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T BELIEVE 773 00:40:10,991 --> 00:40:12,993 ANY OF THE CRAP THAT I SAID BACK THERE. 774 00:40:12,993 --> 00:40:15,495 AH, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT. 775 00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:17,831 WHAT MATTERS IS THAT CHRISTINE HODGES BELIEVED IT. 776 00:40:17,832 --> 00:40:18,916 MMM-HMM. 777 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,786 I DID YOU A FAVOR BACK THERE. 778 00:40:21,786 --> 00:40:23,037 THANKS. 779 00:40:31,545 --> 00:40:33,046 HERE WE GO ! 780 00:40:33,047 --> 00:40:35,049 CUTTING AND SEPARATING. CUTTING AND SEPARATING. 781 00:40:35,049 --> 00:40:37,217 I LIKE THINGS NEAT AND IN THEIR PROPER PLACE. 782 00:40:37,218 --> 00:40:40,221 THE PROPER PLACE FOR FOOD IS IN YOUR STOMACH, OK ? 783 00:40:40,221 --> 00:40:42,606 NOT MARCHING AROUND YOUR PLATE, SINGLE FILE. 784 00:40:42,606 --> 00:40:45,108 THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR SELF-RESTRAINT, YOU KNOW. 785 00:40:45,109 --> 00:40:46,727 SOMETIMES EVEN SELF-DENIAL. 786 00:40:46,727 --> 00:40:48,228 REALLY ? 787 00:40:48,229 --> 00:40:50,898 IS THAT WHAT YOUR HUSBAND BELIEVES ? WHAT, ARE YOU BOTH MONKS ? 788 00:40:52,199 --> 00:40:53,066 ( slurping ) 789 00:40:53,067 --> 00:40:54,068 AH. 790 00:41:18,425 --> 00:41:20,427 ( Doug ) 2 THINGS COME TO MIND RIGHT NOW. 791 00:41:20,427 --> 00:41:21,928 ONE, EVERY MAN HAS THAT CERTAIN 792 00:41:22,429 --> 00:41:24,764 SEXUAL PARTNER WHO STANDS ABOVE ALL THE REST. 793 00:41:24,765 --> 00:41:26,767 FOR ME, IT WAS ANGEL. 794 00:41:26,767 --> 00:41:27,684 ( camera clicking ) 795 00:41:27,685 --> 00:41:29,186 AND 2, 796 00:41:29,687 --> 00:41:31,188 I LOVE BREASTS. 797 00:41:34,158 --> 00:41:35,943 ( people chattering ) 798 00:41:43,083 --> 00:41:44,367 WH-WH-WHOA, WAIT ! 799 00:41:47,588 --> 00:41:50,090 All right, everybody, take a break. 800 00:41:53,177 --> 00:41:56,180 ANGEL HAS TO BE WHO SHE IS. GIVE HER A MOMENT. 801 00:41:59,183 --> 00:42:01,134 WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT AGENCY SENT YOU ? 802 00:42:01,135 --> 00:42:04,021 OH, NO. I'M--I'M NOT FROM AN AGENCY. 803 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:06,857 IT'S ME, DOUG, DOUG MENFORD. 804 00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:08,692 THEY USED TO CALL ME DAWG. 805 00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:12,696 OK, LOOK, DIG DAWG, DOUG. 806 00:42:12,696 --> 00:42:16,199 SECURITY IS JUST A SHOUT AWAY, SO DON'T MESS WITH ME. 807 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,036 OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU--YOU AND I USED TO BE INVOLVED. 808 00:42:20,538 --> 00:42:22,373 YOU KNOW, SEXUALLY ? 809 00:42:23,741 --> 00:42:25,242 ( all laughing ) 810 00:42:27,127 --> 00:42:30,964 WELL, YOU ACTUALLY TOLD ME THAT I WAS ONE OF THE BEST YOU EVER HAD. 811 00:42:33,467 --> 00:42:34,668 WAS I DRUNK ? 812 00:42:34,668 --> 00:42:36,252 I DON'T THINK SO. 813 00:42:38,255 --> 00:42:40,056 ( eagle screeching ) 814 00:42:42,726 --> 00:42:45,178 I HOPE YOU FUCK AS GOOD AS YOU SELL. 815 00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:47,681 GOOD GOD ! 816 00:42:47,681 --> 00:42:48,932 OK, GUYS. 817 00:42:48,933 --> 00:42:51,101 ( people chattering ) 818 00:42:51,101 --> 00:42:54,070 Ok, everybody, you know the drill. That's an Angel-5. 819 00:42:54,071 --> 00:42:55,572 ( man ) THAT'S GREAT. 820 00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:56,574 OH, MAN. 821 00:43:00,494 --> 00:43:01,495 OH, SOME PLACE YOU GOT HERE. 822 00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:02,779 MMM-HMM. 823 00:43:02,780 --> 00:43:04,782 WHO ARE THOSE GUYS ? 824 00:43:04,782 --> 00:43:06,283 JUST FRIENDS. 825 00:43:08,085 --> 00:43:09,786 ( grunting ) 826 00:43:10,371 --> 00:43:12,373 NOW SHUT UP AND ENJOY. 827 00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:14,958 ( giggling ) 828 00:43:18,545 --> 00:43:22,015 MAGIC HANDS, GONNA GET YOU GOING. 829 00:43:24,468 --> 00:43:26,269 ( moaning ) 830 00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:27,604 YOU LIKE THAT ? 831 00:43:27,605 --> 00:43:29,106 OH, YEAH. 832 00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:31,775 ( Doug moaning ) 833 00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:34,728 OH, YEAH. 834 00:43:34,728 --> 00:43:36,229 OOH. 835 00:43:36,230 --> 00:43:37,731 ( groaning ) 836 00:43:39,900 --> 00:43:41,117 WHAT'S WRONG, BABY ? 837 00:43:41,118 --> 00:43:43,403 ( Doug ) Oh, nothing, it's great. It's great. 838 00:43:44,405 --> 00:43:45,406 ( sighing ) 839 00:43:47,875 --> 00:43:49,626 OK, ARE YOU SURE NOTHIN'S WRONG ? 840 00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:51,295 YEAH, YEAH, OH. 841 00:43:51,745 --> 00:43:52,746 Yeah, oh, yeah. 842 00:43:53,747 --> 00:43:55,248 OH, YEAH. 843 00:43:55,749 --> 00:43:57,751 OH, YEAH. 844 00:43:57,751 --> 00:43:58,752 AH. 845 00:43:58,752 --> 00:44:01,721 OK, LOOK, IS HE GONNA COOPERATE OR NOT ? 846 00:44:01,722 --> 00:44:04,975 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Uh, yeah, oh, yeah. 847 00:44:05,392 --> 00:44:08,395 YEAH, OH, YEAH. 848 00:44:08,395 --> 00:44:10,180 OOH, YEAH. 849 00:44:10,180 --> 00:44:11,598 YEAH. 850 00:44:11,598 --> 00:44:14,100 ( man ) 2-minute warning, everybody. 2 minutes. 851 00:44:14,101 --> 00:44:15,602 ( sighing ) 852 00:44:16,570 --> 00:44:17,771 OH. 853 00:44:20,908 --> 00:44:24,828 I, UH, THIS--THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE. 854 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:28,031 SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T PERFORM UNDER PRESSURE. 855 00:44:28,032 --> 00:44:31,702 UH, BIGGIE DIG DAWG DOUG, I FORGIVE YOU. 856 00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:41,011 FUCK ! 857 00:44:41,011 --> 00:44:42,347 ( bird cawing ) 858 00:44:50,856 --> 00:44:52,357 ( sighing ) 859 00:44:57,612 --> 00:45:00,581 GO AHEAD, TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT. 860 00:45:00,582 --> 00:45:03,084 HEY, I NEVER HIT A MAN WHEN HE'S DOWN. 861 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,172 COME ON, LET'S JUST DRIVE. 862 00:45:07,172 --> 00:45:09,507 OOH, LOOK, 863 00:45:09,508 --> 00:45:12,511 THERE'S A CHAPTER HERE ON IMPOTENCE. 864 00:45:12,511 --> 00:45:13,628 MMM... 865 00:45:14,129 --> 00:45:16,131 HEY ! 866 00:45:16,131 --> 00:45:18,266 HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ? 867 00:45:18,266 --> 00:45:19,267 HEY ! 868 00:45:31,279 --> 00:45:32,063 ( grunting ) 869 00:45:36,535 --> 00:45:37,536 ( sighing ) 870 00:45:37,536 --> 00:45:38,537 ( urinating ) 871 00:46:04,229 --> 00:46:05,230 ( zipping ) 872 00:46:10,986 --> 00:46:11,987 ( sighing ) 873 00:46:14,990 --> 00:46:15,991 AH ! 874 00:46:17,993 --> 00:46:19,995 FEELING BETTER ? 875 00:46:19,995 --> 00:46:20,996 MUCH. 876 00:46:20,996 --> 00:46:22,831 ME, TOO. 877 00:46:22,831 --> 00:46:24,833 ( All Right Now by Free playing ) 878 00:46:29,671 --> 00:46:32,674 ♪ OH, OH, OH ♪ 879 00:46:32,674 --> 00:46:34,676 ( tires screeching ) 880 00:46:38,296 --> 00:46:42,099 ♪ THERE SHE STOOD IN THE STREET ♪ 881 00:46:42,100 --> 00:46:45,853 ♪ SMILING FROM HER HEAD TO HER FEET ♪ 882 00:46:46,354 --> 00:46:47,605 ♪ I SAID, HEY ♪ 883 00:46:47,606 --> 00:46:49,441 OK, TURN RIGHT. 884 00:46:49,441 --> 00:46:50,942 RIGHT ? YEAH. 885 00:46:50,942 --> 00:46:52,443 YOU SURE ? POSITIVE. 886 00:46:52,944 --> 00:46:53,644 OK. 887 00:46:57,065 --> 00:46:58,483 DO YOU EVER STOP EATING ? 888 00:46:58,483 --> 00:46:59,734 NOPE. 889 00:46:59,734 --> 00:47:02,737 PERFECTLY NORMAL BODILY FUNCTION. OR DON'T YOU HAVE THOSE ? 890 00:47:02,737 --> 00:47:06,240 LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T FIND A BATHROOM, I MAY HAVE ONE RIGHT HERE AND NOW. 891 00:47:06,241 --> 00:47:10,411 ♪ LET'S MOVE BEFORE THEY RAISE THE PARKING RATE ♪ 892 00:47:10,412 --> 00:47:11,913 ♪ ALL RIGHT NOW ♪ 893 00:47:11,913 --> 00:47:13,748 HOW'S IT GOIN' ? 894 00:47:13,748 --> 00:47:18,469 YOU EVER TRIED STANDING UP ? IT'S EASIER. MORE NATURAL, TOO. 895 00:47:18,470 --> 00:47:22,640 ♪ ALL RIGHT NOW, BABY, IT'S ALL RIGHT NOW ♪ 896 00:47:22,641 --> 00:47:24,643 YOU KNOW WHAT, LET'S FACE IT. WE ARE INSANELY LOST. 897 00:47:25,143 --> 00:47:26,060 NO, WE'RE NOT. 898 00:47:26,061 --> 00:47:28,563 WELL, IF WE'RE NOT LOST, HOW COME WE'VE PASSED 899 00:47:28,563 --> 00:47:31,182 THAT SAME LITTLE PILE OF STONES 80 TIMES ? 900 00:47:31,183 --> 00:47:32,184 WE HAVEN'T. 901 00:47:32,184 --> 00:47:34,736 LOOK, IT SAYS IN THE MAP THAT WE-- 902 00:47:37,155 --> 00:47:38,656 OH, 903 00:47:38,657 --> 00:47:42,160 DON'T TELL ME WE'RE IN THE "MEN DON'T READ MAPS" PHASE. 904 00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:43,578 NO, WE DON'T. 905 00:47:43,578 --> 00:47:45,246 AND MEN ALSO DON'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS. 906 00:47:45,247 --> 00:47:48,700 NO, WE DON'T. WE GIVE DIRECTIONS TO WOMEN WHO ASK FOR THEM, OK ? 907 00:47:48,700 --> 00:47:50,034 THAT'S PATHETIC. 908 00:47:50,452 --> 00:47:52,454 LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, OK, ALL RIGHT ? 909 00:47:52,454 --> 00:47:56,458 A MAN IS A CLEAN, STRAIGHT LINE. A WOMAN IS A WIGGLY CIRCLE, ALL RIGHT ? 910 00:47:56,458 --> 00:47:58,460 WE HAVE A REAL ONE-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP 911 00:47:58,460 --> 00:48:00,962 WITH REAL OBJECTS IN THE REAL WORLD, ALL RIGHT ? 912 00:48:00,962 --> 00:48:03,965 WE HAVE TOOLS, YOU HAVE BOOKS. WE BUILD, YOU WATCH. CASE CLOSED ! 913 00:48:03,965 --> 00:48:05,299 ( tire bursting ) 914 00:48:19,781 --> 00:48:21,282 MR. MENFORD. 915 00:48:21,783 --> 00:48:23,284 YEAH. 916 00:48:23,285 --> 00:48:25,287 CAN I ASK YOU A WIGGLY QUESTION ? 917 00:48:26,288 --> 00:48:27,789 SURE. 918 00:48:27,789 --> 00:48:31,793 DOES A FLAT TIRE QUALIFY AS A REAL OBJECT IN A REAL WORLD ? 919 00:48:34,296 --> 00:48:35,297 AHEM. 920 00:48:43,805 --> 00:48:44,806 ( phone beeping ) 921 00:48:46,308 --> 00:48:47,809 WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? 922 00:48:47,809 --> 00:48:49,811 I'M CALLING A.A.A., OK ? 923 00:48:50,812 --> 00:48:52,313 DON'T BE SO RIDICULOUS. HANG UP. 924 00:48:52,314 --> 00:48:53,815 WHAT ? HANG UP. 925 00:48:53,815 --> 00:48:55,316 YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA ? 926 00:48:55,317 --> 00:48:56,184 AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO. 927 00:49:05,243 --> 00:49:07,662 I THINK THAT'S SUPPOSED TO... 928 00:49:15,420 --> 00:49:16,704 AHEM. 929 00:49:16,705 --> 00:49:18,039 ( car doors closing ) 930 00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:20,207 ONWARDS. 931 00:49:51,906 --> 00:49:52,907 GOOD NIGHT ! 932 00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:54,408 SEE YOU IN THE MORNING. 933 00:50:20,568 --> 00:50:21,569 YEAH ? 934 00:50:21,569 --> 00:50:23,571 HAVE YOU SEEN MY LUGGAGE ? 935 00:50:23,571 --> 00:50:25,072 NO. 936 00:50:25,073 --> 00:50:27,575 HEY, YOU'RE A NATURAL MAN, GO NAKED ! 937 00:51:18,626 --> 00:51:19,460 HI. 938 00:51:19,961 --> 00:51:21,078 HI. 939 00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:23,831 MY NAME IS DOUG. 940 00:51:24,199 --> 00:51:26,084 WHAT'S YOURS ? 941 00:51:26,084 --> 00:51:27,585 LINDSAY ANNE WICKMAN. 942 00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:29,169 WOW, COOL NAME. 943 00:51:29,170 --> 00:51:30,671 THANK YOU. 944 00:51:32,173 --> 00:51:33,174 YOU WANT SOME HELP ? 945 00:51:33,174 --> 00:51:34,675 SURE. 946 00:51:35,226 --> 00:51:36,477 MAY I COME OVER ? 947 00:51:36,478 --> 00:51:37,479 OK. 948 00:51:39,481 --> 00:51:40,482 OK. 949 00:51:41,483 --> 00:51:42,767 YOU CAN HOLD THIS. 950 00:51:42,767 --> 00:51:43,768 ALL RIGHT. 951 00:51:45,353 --> 00:51:46,520 YOU'RE SPILLING THEM. 952 00:51:46,521 --> 00:51:47,522 OH ! 953 00:51:47,522 --> 00:51:50,024 I DIDN'T REALIZE THE TOP WAS ALL OPEN. 954 00:51:50,525 --> 00:51:51,943 SORRY ABOUT THAT. I JUST-- 955 00:51:53,945 --> 00:51:54,946 OK. 956 00:51:58,450 --> 00:52:00,952 THAT'S MOST OF THEM. 957 00:52:00,952 --> 00:52:02,837 MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GIVE THAT BACK TO YOU. 958 00:52:02,837 --> 00:52:04,922 IT'S OK, I FORGIVE YOU. 959 00:52:06,424 --> 00:52:07,425 THANKS. 960 00:52:09,427 --> 00:52:11,595 SO WHOSE GARDEN IS THIS ? 961 00:52:11,596 --> 00:52:14,048 Mine, but it used to be my mommy's. 962 00:52:15,049 --> 00:52:16,550 IS HER NAME EMMA ? 963 00:52:16,551 --> 00:52:17,552 YES. 964 00:52:18,553 --> 00:52:20,054 AND WHERE IS SHE ? 965 00:52:20,054 --> 00:52:21,305 SHE DIED. 966 00:52:25,443 --> 00:52:26,727 Where's your dad ? 967 00:52:26,728 --> 00:52:28,396 I DON'T HAVE A DAD. 968 00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:32,066 ( Anna ) You ok ? 969 00:52:36,571 --> 00:52:38,072 HOW OLD ARE YOU, LINDSAY ? 970 00:52:38,573 --> 00:52:39,574 8. 971 00:52:40,575 --> 00:52:42,076 AND WHAT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY ? 972 00:52:42,577 --> 00:52:43,411 APRIL 13. 973 00:52:46,881 --> 00:52:47,882 1992. 974 00:52:49,918 --> 00:52:51,586 HOW DID YOU KNOW ? 975 00:52:51,586 --> 00:52:53,421 WHO LIVES HERE WITH YOU ? 976 00:52:53,922 --> 00:52:54,923 MY GRANDMA. 977 00:52:54,923 --> 00:52:55,924 ( door opening ) 978 00:52:56,141 --> 00:52:58,476 ( Mrs. Wickman ) WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING ? 979 00:52:58,476 --> 00:53:00,811 YOU ARE TRESPASSING. 980 00:53:00,812 --> 00:53:02,480 LINDSAY, YOU GET INSIDE, RIGHT NOW. 981 00:53:02,981 --> 00:53:05,483 EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO, UH, SPEAK WITH YOU. 982 00:53:06,985 --> 00:53:07,986 WHO ARE YOU ? 983 00:53:07,986 --> 00:53:10,438 MY NAME IS DOUG MENFORD. I--I KNEW EMMA. 984 00:53:10,939 --> 00:53:11,940 OH. 985 00:53:12,941 --> 00:53:14,943 I'M SORRY, WE'RE BUSY. 986 00:53:18,163 --> 00:53:19,664 ( birds chirping ) 987 00:53:19,664 --> 00:53:21,449 ( door closing ) 988 00:53:21,449 --> 00:53:24,452 WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE ? 989 00:53:24,452 --> 00:53:26,954 I THINK THAT LITTLE GIRL IS MINE. 990 00:53:28,957 --> 00:53:32,460 I THINK IF SHE WERE, HER MOTHER WOULD LET YOU KNOW. 991 00:53:35,763 --> 00:53:37,765 I'M NOT GOING TO COUNT THIS ONE. 992 00:53:37,765 --> 00:53:39,767 COME ON, 2 MORE TO GO. 993 00:53:40,268 --> 00:53:41,719 ( engine starting ) 994 00:54:20,725 --> 00:54:22,343 ( door opening ) 995 00:54:23,845 --> 00:54:25,346 ( door slamming ) 996 00:54:27,348 --> 00:54:28,849 HELLO ? 997 00:54:32,353 --> 00:54:33,854 HELLO ? 998 00:54:33,855 --> 00:54:35,857 ( man on P.A. ) We don't open till 10:00. 999 00:54:35,857 --> 00:54:37,358 UH, IS ERICA HERE ? 1000 00:54:37,358 --> 00:54:38,359 Erica ? 1001 00:54:38,359 --> 00:54:39,860 ( laughing ) 1002 00:54:40,361 --> 00:54:41,362 That's very funny. 1003 00:54:41,362 --> 00:54:44,782 Uh, Erica, you got a visitor. 1004 00:54:44,782 --> 00:54:45,582 IS SHE HERE ? 1005 00:54:47,418 --> 00:54:48,419 DROP THE "A." 1006 00:54:48,419 --> 00:54:49,369 ( Doug ) HUH ? 1007 00:54:49,370 --> 00:54:50,871 I SAID, DROP THE "A." 1008 00:54:50,872 --> 00:54:51,672 FROM WHAT ? 1009 00:54:53,591 --> 00:54:55,092 "ERICA." 1010 00:54:57,211 --> 00:54:58,762 ( sighing ) 1011 00:54:58,763 --> 00:55:00,714 ERIC KOYLE. 1012 00:55:01,015 --> 00:55:02,383 ERIC ? 1013 00:55:02,383 --> 00:55:04,385 WELCOME TO MY CLUB, DOUG. 1014 00:55:05,270 --> 00:55:07,772 I THINK I, UH, NEED TO SIT DOWN. 1015 00:55:07,772 --> 00:55:09,223 YEAH, SURE. 1016 00:55:09,223 --> 00:55:10,724 HEY ! 1017 00:55:10,725 --> 00:55:12,727 HEY, KILL THE LIGHTS, LOU. YOU GOT THE POOR THING ALL SHAKY. 1018 00:55:13,227 --> 00:55:14,728 YOU WANT A BEER OR SOMETHING ? 1019 00:55:14,729 --> 00:55:17,231 YOU KNOW, NIGHT CLUB AND BAR 1020 00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:19,233 VOTED THIS PLACE NUMBER ONE IN SACRAMENTO. 1021 00:55:19,734 --> 00:55:21,235 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT ? 1022 00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:22,736 GOD ! IT'S FUCKIN' SURPRISING, 1023 00:55:22,737 --> 00:55:25,239 ESPECIALLY IN THIS RIGHT-WING TOWN WE LIVE IN. 1024 00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:26,240 ( laughing ) 1025 00:55:26,741 --> 00:55:29,243 GOD, I CANNOT GET OVER HOW GOOD YOU LOOK. 1026 00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:32,246 LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. 1027 00:55:32,747 --> 00:55:35,249 YOU KNOW, DOUG, YOU ARE STILL A HOT PIECE OF ASS, 1028 00:55:35,750 --> 00:55:38,753 AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. 1029 00:55:41,472 --> 00:55:43,474 ( dance music playing ) 1030 00:56:09,250 --> 00:56:11,585 W-WHAT'S THE DEAL ? DO YOU-- DO YOU-- NOW YOU LIKE WOMEN ? 1031 00:56:12,086 --> 00:56:13,504 YEAH, SOME ARE COOL. 1032 00:56:13,504 --> 00:56:15,005 AND--AND YOU ALSO LIKE MEN ? 1033 00:56:15,456 --> 00:56:18,258 I MEAN, I LIKED MEN BEFORE. THERE'S REALLY NO REASON TO STOP NOW. 1034 00:56:18,259 --> 00:56:19,760 YEAH. 1035 00:56:19,761 --> 00:56:21,179 L-LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 1036 00:56:21,179 --> 00:56:23,181 OH, NO, NO, DON'T TELL ME. DON'T TELL ME. LET ME GUESS. 1037 00:56:23,181 --> 00:56:24,682 YOU WANNA GO THROUGH WITH IT, RIGHT ? 1038 00:56:24,682 --> 00:56:26,550 YEAH. 1039 00:56:26,551 --> 00:56:29,136 OK, LOOK, DOUG, I WAS SICK OF BEING A FUCKING DOORMAT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKES ! 1040 00:56:29,137 --> 00:56:31,939 I MEAN, YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, SHOULD KNOW THIS. 1041 00:56:31,939 --> 00:56:36,026 LET'S LEAVE ERICA OUT OF THIS, RIGHT. THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME. 1042 00:56:38,696 --> 00:56:40,197 I GOT AN IDEA. 1043 00:56:40,198 --> 00:56:41,449 WHAT ? 1044 00:56:41,449 --> 00:56:42,199 YOU WANNA SEE IT ? 1045 00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:43,484 SEE WHAT ? 1046 00:56:43,484 --> 00:56:44,368 MY BRAND-NEW DICK. 1047 00:56:46,788 --> 00:56:47,572 NOT REALLY. NO. 1048 00:56:47,572 --> 00:56:49,824 OH, COME ON. IT'S A REAL CONVERSATION PIECE, DOUG. 1049 00:56:49,824 --> 00:56:50,958 NO, NO, NO. 1050 00:56:50,958 --> 00:56:52,409 COME ON, DOUG. NO WAY. 1051 00:56:52,410 --> 00:56:55,830 I REALLY DROPPED A LOT OF COIN ON THIS DICK. HEY, LOU ! SPOT ME, LOU ! 1052 00:56:58,666 --> 00:57:00,134 DOUG. 1053 00:57:00,134 --> 00:57:01,552 ( Doug exclaiming ) 1054 00:57:01,552 --> 00:57:02,386 NO. 1055 00:57:02,387 --> 00:57:03,721 COME ON, DOUG. NO. 1056 00:57:03,721 --> 00:57:05,339 LOOK AT MY FUCKIN' DICK. 1057 00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:07,841 OH, GOD. OK, YOU HAPPY NOW ? 1058 00:57:07,842 --> 00:57:09,226 ISN'T IT A GOOD ONE ? 1059 00:57:09,227 --> 00:57:10,228 HOW THE HELL, SHOULD I KNOW ? 1060 00:57:10,228 --> 00:57:13,014 ONLY BECAUSE I USED YOUR DICK AS A MODEL. 1061 00:57:13,014 --> 00:57:14,148 OH, MY GOD. 1062 00:57:14,599 --> 00:57:16,100 ( microphone buzzing ) 1063 00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:18,102 REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I SUCKED YOU OFF ? 1064 00:57:18,102 --> 00:57:20,487 YOU KNOW, THAT WAS MY FIRST BLOWJOB EVER. 1065 00:57:20,488 --> 00:57:21,856 OH, GOD. 1066 00:57:22,323 --> 00:57:24,608 REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID TO ME WHEN I ASKED YOU HOW IT WAS ? 1067 00:57:24,609 --> 00:57:25,526 LOOK-- 1068 00:57:25,526 --> 00:57:27,578 YOU SAID, AND I QUOTE: 1069 00:57:27,578 --> 00:57:31,198 "Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it." 1070 00:57:31,199 --> 00:57:34,368 ALL RIGHT. I'M A LITTLE FUCKED UP NOW. I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT'S HAPPENING. 1071 00:57:34,368 --> 00:57:37,871 YEAH, WHICH IS ODD, BECAUSE I'M DOING A LITTLE WONDERING MYSELF. 1072 00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:41,209 WHY ARE YOU HERE ? 1073 00:57:41,209 --> 00:57:43,427 I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HER THE TRUTH. 1074 00:57:44,762 --> 00:57:47,264 I STAND TO INHERIT A LITTLE BIT OF MONEY, IF I CAN GET 1075 00:57:47,265 --> 00:57:50,468 SOME OF MY FORMER GIRLFRIENDS TO, UH, FORGIVE ME. 1076 00:57:50,468 --> 00:57:53,521 OH, SO THIS IS ABOUT THE MONEY ? 1077 00:57:53,521 --> 00:57:56,023 I SEE, IT'S LIKE A LITTLE BIZ TRANSACTION, HUH ? 1078 00:57:56,023 --> 00:57:59,526 WELL, IN THAT CASE, DOUG, LET'S LET THE NEGOTIATIONS BEGIN. 1079 00:57:59,527 --> 00:58:01,645 WELL, I DON'T HAVE A WHOLE LOT I CAN OFFER YOU RIGHT NOW. 1080 00:58:02,647 --> 00:58:04,148 OH, YES, YOU DO. 1081 00:58:05,650 --> 00:58:06,450 COME HERE. 1082 00:58:09,036 --> 00:58:10,404 CLOSER. 1083 00:58:13,875 --> 00:58:15,126 HEY ! ON YOUR KNEES. 1084 00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:16,410 OH, GOD. 1085 00:58:17,712 --> 00:58:18,713 AH ! 1086 00:58:19,797 --> 00:58:21,298 I WANT-- 1087 00:58:21,299 --> 00:58:22,667 I'M NOT GONNA BLOW YOU. 1088 00:58:23,167 --> 00:58:24,968 I WANT YOU TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE FOR YOUR FIRST TIME, DOUG. 1089 00:58:24,969 --> 00:58:26,170 IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 1090 00:58:26,170 --> 00:58:28,422 EXACTLY HOW MUCH DOES THIS INHERITANCE MEAN TO YOU ? 1091 00:58:28,422 --> 00:58:29,506 OH ! 1092 00:58:29,507 --> 00:58:30,391 UH... 1093 00:58:30,391 --> 00:58:31,675 THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 1094 00:58:31,676 --> 00:58:32,560 IT'S LOOKING PRETTY BAD. 1095 00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:34,261 I'M-- 1096 00:58:34,262 --> 00:58:35,813 WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE OR SOMETHING ? 1097 00:58:36,147 --> 00:58:37,314 THAT'S, UH-- 1098 00:58:37,315 --> 00:58:39,433 ( clattering ) 1099 00:58:39,433 --> 00:58:40,984 YOU SON OF A BITCH MOTHERFUCKER. 1100 00:58:40,985 --> 00:58:42,353 UGH ! 1101 00:58:42,353 --> 00:58:43,737 WOW ! YOU CAN REALLY THROW A PUNCH. 1102 00:58:43,738 --> 00:58:45,773 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ? FIGHT BACK ! 1103 00:58:45,773 --> 00:58:46,774 I CAN'T. SHE'S A GIRL. 1104 00:58:46,774 --> 00:58:48,158 SHE'S NOT A GIRL ! SHE'S A BOY. 1105 00:58:48,159 --> 00:58:49,193 I'M A MAN ! 1106 00:58:49,193 --> 00:58:49,943 I CAN'T DO IT. 1107 00:58:49,944 --> 00:58:51,528 WELL, IF YOU CAN'T, I CAN. HEY ! 1108 00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,281 UGH ! 1109 00:58:54,198 --> 00:58:56,033 RIGHT. YOU FORGIVE HIM. 1110 00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:57,534 ( groaning ) 1111 00:58:57,535 --> 00:58:58,536 ( laughing ) 1112 00:58:58,536 --> 00:59:00,037 UNBELIEVABLE. 1113 00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:01,538 ( grunting ) 1114 00:59:01,539 --> 00:59:03,090 ( sighing ) 1115 00:59:03,090 --> 00:59:04,875 I FUCKING FORGIVE YOU, DOUG. 1116 00:59:05,376 --> 00:59:06,260 SEE ? 1117 00:59:06,761 --> 00:59:08,546 WHAT ARE YOU DOING SATURDAY NIGHT ? 1118 00:59:09,430 --> 00:59:11,932 ( muzak playing ) 1119 00:59:17,555 --> 00:59:19,056 ( people muttering ) 1120 00:59:33,704 --> 00:59:34,788 COLE. 1121 00:59:49,887 --> 00:59:52,389 WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I HADN'T COME 1122 00:59:52,390 --> 00:59:54,392 AND RESCUED YOU ? 1123 00:59:55,893 --> 00:59:57,895 LET'S NOT THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW. 1124 00:59:57,895 --> 00:59:58,896 OK. 1125 00:59:58,896 --> 00:59:59,897 WHAT TIME DO YOU HAVE ? 1126 01:00:00,398 --> 01:00:02,900 UM, VERY NEARLY HALF PAST 8:00. 1127 01:00:02,900 --> 01:00:04,902 SO, ONE MORE TO GO. AND THEN I CAN FINALLY 1128 01:00:05,403 --> 01:00:07,405 GET TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY HUSBAND. 1129 01:00:26,674 --> 01:00:28,625 ( thunder rumbling ) 1130 01:01:08,883 --> 01:01:09,884 ( knocking ) 1131 01:01:13,387 --> 01:01:14,888 ( sighing ) 1132 01:01:19,060 --> 01:01:20,061 H-HEY ! 1133 01:01:20,061 --> 01:01:21,562 H-H-HEY ! 1134 01:01:21,562 --> 01:01:23,564 IF IT ISN'T MR. BIG-MAN-ON-CAMPUS. 1135 01:01:23,564 --> 01:01:25,432 HEY, BILLY, RIGHT ? 1136 01:01:25,433 --> 01:01:26,317 WILLIE. 1137 01:01:26,317 --> 01:01:28,819 ( laughing ) IT'S WILLIE. 1138 01:01:28,819 --> 01:01:30,153 LOOK AT-- COME ON IN HERE. 1139 01:01:30,154 --> 01:01:32,573 COME ON, IT'S RAINING OUT THERE. GET YOUR ASS IN HERE. 1140 01:01:33,574 --> 01:01:35,075 AH, HA ! 1141 01:01:36,577 --> 01:01:37,578 YEAH. 1142 01:01:37,578 --> 01:01:39,079 SO, UH... 1143 01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:40,081 YOUR SISTER AROUND ? 1144 01:01:40,581 --> 01:01:41,582 OH ! 1145 01:01:41,582 --> 01:01:43,083 OH, OH-OH. 1146 01:01:43,584 --> 01:01:46,587 OH, THE BIG SHITTY CITY SUCKED ALL THE SMALL-TOWN TALK OUT OF THE BOY, HUH ? HUH ? 1147 01:01:46,587 --> 01:01:48,088 ( laughing ) YEAH. 1148 01:01:48,089 --> 01:01:50,591 YEAH, DARCY'S HERE. SHE'S IN THE BACK. 1149 01:01:53,094 --> 01:01:54,595 CAN I TALK TO HER ? 1150 01:01:55,096 --> 01:01:57,098 SURE, WILL DO, OK. 1151 01:01:57,098 --> 01:01:58,099 ( laughing ) 1152 01:01:59,100 --> 01:02:01,102 ( thunder rumbling ) 1153 01:02:03,104 --> 01:02:04,605 ( sighing ) 1154 01:02:18,119 --> 01:02:19,620 ( coughing ) 1155 01:02:21,405 --> 01:02:22,739 WELL, WELL, WELL. 1156 01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:25,159 LOOK WHO WE GOT HERE. 1157 01:02:25,159 --> 01:02:26,660 IT'S LITTLE DOUGIE MENFORD. 1158 01:02:27,161 --> 01:02:28,162 ( giggling ) 1159 01:02:28,162 --> 01:02:29,163 WHAT A SURPRISE. 1160 01:02:31,165 --> 01:02:33,333 HOW ARE YOU DOING, DARCE ? 1161 01:02:33,334 --> 01:02:36,003 COME OVER HERE NEXT TO ME ON THE COUCH. 1162 01:02:46,097 --> 01:02:47,098 COMFY, HUH ? 1163 01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:51,602 I MEAN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT YOUR ASS KICKED. 1164 01:02:51,602 --> 01:02:54,104 OH, YEAH, JUST A LITTLE SCUFFLE. 1165 01:02:55,356 --> 01:02:56,657 YOU STILL LOOK GREAT. 1166 01:02:57,158 --> 01:02:58,159 THANKS. 1167 01:03:00,661 --> 01:03:02,162 HOW DO I LOOK ? 1168 01:03:02,663 --> 01:03:04,948 YOU LOOK, UH... 1169 01:03:04,949 --> 01:03:06,083 DIFFERENT. 1170 01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:07,584 ( coughing ) 1171 01:03:10,504 --> 01:03:11,505 YOU ALL RIGHT ? 1172 01:03:14,091 --> 01:03:15,092 OH, 1173 01:03:15,092 --> 01:03:17,594 YEAH, I GOTTA CATCH MY BREATH. 1174 01:03:17,595 --> 01:03:19,096 ( chuckling ) WHOO ! 1175 01:03:22,099 --> 01:03:23,433 LONG TIME NO SEE, HUH, DOUGIE. 1176 01:03:23,768 --> 01:03:24,769 YEAH. 1177 01:03:24,769 --> 01:03:26,270 WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ? 1178 01:03:26,270 --> 01:03:28,105 YOU KNOW, JUST AROUND. 1179 01:03:28,522 --> 01:03:30,023 YEAH. 1180 01:03:30,524 --> 01:03:32,943 WELL, THE LEAST YOU COULD'VE DONE WAS TOLD ME YOU WERE LEAVING. 1181 01:03:33,944 --> 01:03:35,946 WELL, I--I HAD TO GET OUT. I-- 1182 01:03:35,946 --> 01:03:38,648 YOU CAN'T GROW IF YOU STAY IN YOUR HOMETOWN. 1183 01:03:38,649 --> 01:03:40,984 I STAYED, AND I GREW PLENTY. 1184 01:03:43,954 --> 01:03:45,956 I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING THROUGH, 1185 01:03:45,956 --> 01:03:47,457 YOU KNOW, ONE OF YOUR LITTLE PHASES, 1186 01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:49,960 AND I LET YOU BE. 1187 01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:52,963 AND BY THE TIME THE NEWS GOT BACK TO ME THAT YOU MOVED, I MEAN, THAT-- 1188 01:03:52,963 --> 01:03:55,799 THAT WAS IT, YOU WERE ALREADY A COLLEGE MAN. 1189 01:03:57,251 --> 01:03:59,253 I WAS TRYING TO FIND MYSELF. 1190 01:04:00,754 --> 01:04:02,255 DID YOU ? 1191 01:04:04,625 --> 01:04:05,509 YEAH... 1192 01:04:06,010 --> 01:04:08,262 SO MUCH FOR SOUL-SEARCHING, HUH ? 1193 01:04:11,982 --> 01:04:14,567 Y-YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GONNA MARRY ME. 1194 01:04:15,069 --> 01:04:17,321 L-LIKE AN IDIOT, I BELIEVED YOU. 1195 01:04:18,606 --> 01:04:20,608 I MEAN, IT WASN'T UNTIL LONG AFTER YOU MOVED AWAY 1196 01:04:20,608 --> 01:04:22,860 I FOUND OUT THAT YOU'D BEEN USING ME ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. 1197 01:04:22,860 --> 01:04:24,244 DARCE. YOU KNOW, 1198 01:04:24,245 --> 01:04:26,196 YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRAZIEST THING IS ? 1199 01:04:26,197 --> 01:04:30,034 TO THIS DAY, I MEAN, YOU ARE STILL THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE EVER LOVED. 1200 01:04:32,002 --> 01:04:33,003 LISTEN... 1201 01:04:34,004 --> 01:04:36,006 I WAS AN ASSHOLE, OK ? 1202 01:04:36,006 --> 01:04:37,791 BUT I CAN'T GO BACK AND CHANGE THAT. 1203 01:04:38,292 --> 01:04:40,294 I wish I could, but I can't. 1204 01:04:40,961 --> 01:04:42,679 YOU HURT ME. 1205 01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:44,014 YOU KNOW, 1206 01:04:44,014 --> 01:04:47,050 WHEN I THOUGHT YOU BELIEVED IN ME, I BLOSSOMED. 1207 01:04:47,051 --> 01:04:51,855 AND ONE KISS FROM YOU, I--I FELT I COULD FLY. 1208 01:04:51,856 --> 01:04:56,310 I TRIED. I MEAN, I--I ENTERED A PERSONAL AD ONCE. 1209 01:04:56,310 --> 01:05:00,697 AND I ENDED UP GETTING TO KNOW A REALLY NICE GUY OVER THE TELEPHONE. 1210 01:05:00,698 --> 01:05:02,700 HE CAME OVER. 1211 01:05:02,700 --> 01:05:04,702 HE TOOK ONE LOOK AT ME. 1212 01:05:04,702 --> 01:05:07,705 HE DIDN'T EVEN TAKE OFF HIS COAT. 1213 01:05:07,705 --> 01:05:11,408 AND THE SAD PART IS I WAS ONLY HALF THE WEIGHT I AM NOW. 1214 01:05:11,408 --> 01:05:15,912 YOU KNOW, I CAN-- I CAN ALMOST UNDERSTAND WHAT HE DID. 1215 01:05:15,913 --> 01:05:17,414 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, HE WAS JUST BEING HONEST, 1216 01:05:17,915 --> 01:05:19,416 AND I WAS THE ONE WHO STRETCHED THE TRUTH 1217 01:05:19,416 --> 01:05:21,418 WHEN I DESCRIBED MYSELF OVER THE PHONE. 1218 01:05:22,386 --> 01:05:24,388 BUT YOU... 1219 01:05:24,388 --> 01:05:28,392 YOU HAD THE MOST SOUGHT-AFTER PRIZE AT CASPER HIGH 1220 01:05:28,392 --> 01:05:30,894 WHO WANTED NO ONE IN THAT SCHOOL BUT YOU. 1221 01:05:36,934 --> 01:05:37,935 I'M SORRY. 1222 01:05:40,437 --> 01:05:42,272 CAN YOU FORGIVE ME ? 1223 01:05:49,747 --> 01:05:51,749 HOW ABOUT A KISS... 1224 01:05:51,749 --> 01:05:53,584 JUST FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE ? 1225 01:06:02,543 --> 01:06:03,460 ( grunting ) 1226 01:06:06,046 --> 01:06:07,547 ( gasping ) 1227 01:06:07,548 --> 01:06:09,016 FORGIVE YOU ? 1228 01:06:09,016 --> 01:06:10,300 I FUCKIN' HATE YOU. 1229 01:06:10,301 --> 01:06:12,386 WILLIE, GET HIM OUT OF HERE ! 1230 01:06:12,886 --> 01:06:14,354 NOW WAIT A MINUTE-- 1231 01:06:14,355 --> 01:06:16,023 NOW WAIT-- HEY, NO. HEY, NO, NO. 1232 01:06:16,023 --> 01:06:18,725 WAIT. WAIT, 3 LITTLE WORDS. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. 1233 01:06:18,726 --> 01:06:20,227 GET HIM OUT OF HERE, NOW ! 1234 01:06:24,398 --> 01:06:25,198 ( groaning ) 1235 01:06:25,199 --> 01:06:26,450 STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER ! 1236 01:06:27,568 --> 01:06:29,036 YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU ? 1237 01:06:29,036 --> 01:06:30,404 YOU RUINED HER LIFE ! 1238 01:06:30,904 --> 01:06:32,238 WILLIE, I-- 1239 01:06:32,239 --> 01:06:33,623 HEY, BUDDY, DO ME A FAVOR. 1240 01:06:34,074 --> 01:06:35,959 QUIT STOMPING ON PEOPLE'S HEARTS. 1241 01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:38,796 THEY'RE NOT ALL AS HARD AND AS EMPTY AS YOURS. 1242 01:06:38,796 --> 01:06:42,082 SO GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY PROPERTY, BEFORE I CALL THE COPS ! 1243 01:06:44,969 --> 01:06:46,253 ( engine starting ) 1244 01:06:47,972 --> 01:06:49,223 ( tires screeching ) 1245 01:06:49,223 --> 01:06:50,724 ( glass shattering ) 1246 01:07:35,185 --> 01:07:37,187 ( Anna ) I THINK YOU'RE THE MOST SEXIST, SHALLOW, 1247 01:07:37,187 --> 01:07:40,690 SELF-CENTERED MAN I'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO MEET. 1248 01:07:40,691 --> 01:07:43,694 ( Darcy ) FORGIVE YOU ? I FUCKIN' HATE YOU. 1249 01:07:45,696 --> 01:07:47,698 ( Doug ) MY NAME IS DOUG MENFORD. I--I KNEW EMMA. 1250 01:07:47,698 --> 01:07:49,199 ( Mrs. Wickman ) OH. 1251 01:07:49,199 --> 01:07:51,701 I'M SORRY, WE'RE BUSY. 1252 01:08:12,639 --> 01:08:14,140 ( sighing ) 1253 01:08:14,141 --> 01:08:16,143 I THOUGHT YOU'D BE BACK. 1254 01:08:17,845 --> 01:08:21,849 EMMA TOLD ME ABOUT YOU BEFORE SHE DIED. 1255 01:08:21,849 --> 01:08:24,852 SHE TOLD ME HOW SHE'D FALLEN SO MUCH IN LOVE WITH YOU, 1256 01:08:25,352 --> 01:08:27,854 ADORED YOU, WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. 1257 01:08:29,356 --> 01:08:32,359 AND THEN, UH, WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT, 1258 01:08:32,359 --> 01:08:35,362 SHE TOOK ONE LONG LOOK AT YOU. 1259 01:08:35,863 --> 01:08:37,865 AND SHE THOUGHT, "THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF A MAN 1260 01:08:37,865 --> 01:08:40,367 THAT I WANT TO HAVE RAISE MY CHILD." 1261 01:08:58,719 --> 01:09:00,220 ( sobbing ) 1262 01:09:12,232 --> 01:09:13,233 HELLO ? 1263 01:09:16,954 --> 01:09:18,455 ARE YOU OK ? 1264 01:09:20,457 --> 01:09:22,242 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. 1265 01:09:27,464 --> 01:09:28,465 AH... 1266 01:09:28,966 --> 01:09:31,468 WELL, IF I MIGHT SAY SOMETHING, 1267 01:09:31,468 --> 01:09:33,837 I THINK THAT DEEP DOWN INSIDE, 1268 01:09:33,837 --> 01:09:35,839 YOU NOW TRULY BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE A DICK, 1269 01:09:35,839 --> 01:09:39,259 AND THAT MAKES YOU FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT YOURSELF. 1270 01:09:39,259 --> 01:09:42,262 THAT STUFF YOU HAD ME SAY TO CHRISTINE IS ACTUALLY TRUE. 1271 01:09:48,185 --> 01:09:49,186 ( sighing ) 1272 01:09:49,686 --> 01:09:51,738 I KNOW THAT LITTLE GIRL WAS MINE. 1273 01:09:51,738 --> 01:09:54,607 I WAS WITH HER MOTHER THE WHOLE SUMMER OF '91. 1274 01:09:54,608 --> 01:09:56,610 SHE GOT PREGNANT. 1275 01:09:56,610 --> 01:10:00,113 SHE HAD OUR BABY AND DECIDED NOT TO TELL ME ABOUT IT. 1276 01:10:01,615 --> 01:10:04,117 WHAT DOES THAT SAY ? IT SAYS "LOSER." 1277 01:10:05,118 --> 01:10:06,669 "DEADBEAT." 1278 01:10:09,673 --> 01:10:13,677 I'M GOING TO STEP OUTSIDE MY LEGAL CAPACITY FOR A MOMENT, OK ? 1279 01:10:13,677 --> 01:10:16,179 YOUR GRANDMOTHER TRUSTED ME TO EXECUTE HER ESTATE, 1280 01:10:16,680 --> 01:10:18,515 SO I THINK SHE TRUSTS ME TO MAKE A JUDGMENT CALL HERE. 1281 01:10:19,967 --> 01:10:22,970 YOU'VE HAD YOUR TEETH KICKED IN ON THIS TRIP. 1282 01:10:22,970 --> 01:10:25,472 BUT I THINK YOU'VE LEARNED THE SORT OF LESSON 1283 01:10:25,472 --> 01:10:27,307 YOUR GRANDMOTHER WANTED YOU TO LEARN. 1284 01:10:28,725 --> 01:10:30,810 THE MILLION DOLLARS IS YOURS. 1285 01:10:31,812 --> 01:10:32,813 REALLY ? 1286 01:10:32,813 --> 01:10:34,314 YEAH. 1287 01:10:34,314 --> 01:10:37,367 YOU'VE EARNED IT. IN FACT, I THINK YOU DESERVE IT. 1288 01:10:37,367 --> 01:10:39,869 THANK YOU. THAT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU. 1289 01:10:40,871 --> 01:10:42,372 IT'S MY PLEASURE. 1290 01:11:09,399 --> 01:11:11,984 WHAT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND ? 1291 01:11:11,985 --> 01:11:15,488 I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE HE WAS MARKED DOWN TO $4.99 1292 01:11:15,489 --> 01:11:18,408 BACK AT THE DRUGSTORE. 1293 01:11:18,408 --> 01:11:22,028 I KEEP THAT PHOTO TO SHIELD MYSELF FROM UNWANTED ADVANCES. 1294 01:11:23,530 --> 01:11:24,364 LIKE THIS ONE ? 1295 01:11:24,364 --> 01:11:25,365 YES. 1296 01:12:44,528 --> 01:12:46,780 ( elevator bell dinging ) 1297 01:12:49,750 --> 01:12:50,951 ( door clicking ) 1298 01:12:55,622 --> 01:12:56,039 HI. 1299 01:12:57,124 --> 01:12:58,125 HI. 1300 01:12:58,125 --> 01:13:00,127 THOSE ARE FOR YOU. 1301 01:13:00,627 --> 01:13:02,045 THANK YOU. UM... 1302 01:13:02,045 --> 01:13:04,547 TAKE A SEAT, MR. MENFORD, PLEASE. 1303 01:13:04,548 --> 01:13:07,050 THAT'S A LITTLE FORMAL, ISN'T IT ? 1304 01:13:08,051 --> 01:13:09,469 AHEM. 1305 01:13:13,473 --> 01:13:14,724 THERE IS NO MILLION DOLLARS. 1306 01:13:15,225 --> 01:13:16,226 WHAT ? 1307 01:13:16,226 --> 01:13:18,194 THERE'S NO INHERITANCE. THERE NEVER WAS ONE. 1308 01:13:25,569 --> 01:13:26,820 DO YOU REMEMBER THIS ? 1309 01:13:27,821 --> 01:13:29,322 NO. 1310 01:13:29,322 --> 01:13:31,157 YOU BEFRIENDED ME FOR AN ENTIRE SEMESTER, 1311 01:13:31,158 --> 01:13:33,076 AND MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU, 1312 01:13:33,076 --> 01:13:36,579 JUST SO YOU COULD GET INTO SOME DICK-FEST ORGANIZATION. 1313 01:13:36,580 --> 01:13:38,081 MY FRIEND FOUND THIS 1314 01:13:38,081 --> 01:13:42,135 ON THE SCORE DU JOUR BULLETIN BOARD IN YOUR FRAT HOUSE. 1315 01:13:42,135 --> 01:13:45,054 OK, THAT WAS-- THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. I'VE--I'VE CHANGED. 1316 01:13:45,555 --> 01:13:48,558 IT'S WAY TOO LATE FOR YOU TO BE SORRY. 1317 01:13:48,558 --> 01:13:51,060 I WAS A FRESHMAN. I HAD NO FRIENDS. 1318 01:13:51,061 --> 01:13:53,179 AND YOU CAME ALONG, AND YOU TURNED ON YOUR CHARM 1319 01:13:53,180 --> 01:13:56,766 AND MADE ME FEEL LIKE THE LUCKIEST GIRL ON CAMPUS. 1320 01:13:56,767 --> 01:14:00,821 LOOK. IT WAS A-- IT WAS A DIRTY TRICK, AND I'M TRULY, TRULY SORRY. 1321 01:14:00,821 --> 01:14:03,323 YOU RUINED MY 4 COLLEGE YEARS FOR ME, 1322 01:14:03,323 --> 01:14:05,825 AND I NEVER GOT OVER THE HUMILIATION OF THAT. 1323 01:14:05,826 --> 01:14:08,695 I VOWED THAT ONE DAY I WOULD FIND YOU 1324 01:14:08,695 --> 01:14:11,948 AND MAKE YOU FEEL AS BAD AS YOU MADE ME FEEL. 1325 01:14:12,449 --> 01:14:15,585 WHAT ABOUT FRIDAY NIGHT ? I MEAN, DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU ? 1326 01:14:15,585 --> 01:14:17,086 OH, WELL... 1327 01:14:18,088 --> 01:14:20,090 I SHOULD THINK THAT YOU, MORE THAN ANYONE, 1328 01:14:20,090 --> 01:14:23,093 KNOWS THE MEANING OF THE WORDS "ONE-NIGHT STAND." 1329 01:14:28,381 --> 01:14:29,882 ( sighing ) 1330 01:14:31,384 --> 01:14:32,768 YOU PLANNED THIS ? 1331 01:14:37,107 --> 01:14:38,608 THAT'S SAD. 1332 01:14:43,613 --> 01:14:46,115 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. AHEM. 1333 01:14:46,116 --> 01:14:49,702 DO YOU THINK YOU COULD FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE ME ? 1334 01:14:49,703 --> 01:14:51,705 FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME ? 1335 01:14:51,705 --> 01:14:52,706 NEVER. 1336 01:14:54,708 --> 01:14:56,710 WELL, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, 1337 01:14:57,210 --> 01:14:58,711 I FORGIVE YOU. 1338 01:15:07,337 --> 01:15:08,838 ( door closing ) 1339 01:15:18,732 --> 01:15:20,984 ( carousel music playing ) 1340 01:15:28,575 --> 01:15:29,576 SO, DID YOU LIKE YOUR HORSE ? 1341 01:15:30,076 --> 01:15:31,077 YEAH. 1342 01:15:31,077 --> 01:15:32,411 WAS HE FAST ? UH-HUH. 1343 01:15:32,412 --> 01:15:33,413 GOOD. 1344 01:15:33,413 --> 01:15:34,914 WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR SUPPER ? 1345 01:15:34,915 --> 01:15:35,865 PIZZA. 1346 01:15:40,370 --> 01:15:41,871 C-CAN YOU EXCUSE ME FOR 2 SECS ? 1347 01:15:45,342 --> 01:15:46,343 HI. 1348 01:15:46,843 --> 01:15:47,844 HI. 1349 01:15:48,929 --> 01:15:50,931 I SEE YOU GOT HER. 1350 01:15:50,931 --> 01:15:53,717 OH, YEAH, MORE-- MORE LIKE SHE'S GOT ME, THANKS TO YOU. 1351 01:15:54,601 --> 01:15:55,602 OH ! 1352 01:15:56,603 --> 01:15:58,771 HEY, LINDSAY. I'M ANNA. 1353 01:15:58,772 --> 01:16:00,023 ANNA THE LAWYER ? 1354 01:16:00,807 --> 01:16:02,391 YEAH ! 1355 01:16:03,560 --> 01:16:05,061 MY DADDY TALKS ABOUT YOU. 1356 01:16:05,061 --> 01:16:07,530 REALLY ? WHAT DOES HE SAY ? 1357 01:16:07,531 --> 01:16:09,783 HE SAYS THAT YOU'RE SMART, 1358 01:16:09,783 --> 01:16:11,067 AND SMART WOMEN ALWAYS WIN. 1359 01:16:13,119 --> 01:16:14,620 I DIDN'T SAY THAT THEY WIN. 1360 01:16:14,621 --> 01:16:16,990 I SAID THAT THEY USUALLY GET WHAT THEY WANT. 1361 01:16:21,411 --> 01:16:23,413 YEAH, BUT SOMETIMES WHEN THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT, 1362 01:16:23,413 --> 01:16:25,915 THEY REALIZE THEY DON'T ACTUALLY WANT IT ANYMORE. 1363 01:16:29,753 --> 01:16:31,137 WE SHOULD GET GOING. 1364 01:16:31,137 --> 01:16:32,638 YEAH, UM... 1365 01:16:32,639 --> 01:16:34,340 MAYBE SEE YOU AROUND. 1366 01:16:34,341 --> 01:16:35,725 MAYBE. 1367 01:16:35,725 --> 01:16:36,976 BYE, LINDSAY. 1368 01:16:36,977 --> 01:16:37,978 BYE, ANNA. 1369 01:17:16,549 --> 01:17:17,550 WHAT ? 1370 01:17:18,551 --> 01:17:19,718 IT'S OK. 1371 01:17:19,719 --> 01:17:21,220 OK. 1372 01:17:21,221 --> 01:17:23,223 ( director chattering ) 1373 01:17:24,224 --> 01:17:25,225 OK. 1374 01:17:25,225 --> 01:17:26,943 ( director ) AND, READY ? 1375 01:17:27,444 --> 01:17:28,945 KEEP GOING. 1376 01:17:28,945 --> 01:17:30,446 IT'S OK, IT'S OK, GET DOWN, GET DOWN. 1377 01:17:30,447 --> 01:17:31,948 AND ACTION. 1378 01:17:32,449 --> 01:17:34,451 ♪ WASTIN' TIME ♪ 1379 01:17:35,452 --> 01:17:39,155 ♪ I TAKE IT FOR GRANTED AND SMILE ♪ 1380 01:17:39,572 --> 01:17:42,374 ♪ THAT WAY I WON'T LET IT BURN ME DOWN ♪ 1381 01:17:42,375 --> 01:17:45,378 CAN I GET A COUPLE OF THOSE, UH... I'M SORRY. CAN WE START THAT AGAIN ? 1382 01:17:50,884 --> 01:17:51,885 ATTITUDE. 1383 01:17:51,885 --> 01:17:53,887 ( director ) A BETTER ATTACK, YES. READY ? 1384 01:17:53,887 --> 01:17:56,890 GIVE HER THE CUE, DENIS. 1385 01:17:56,890 --> 01:17:58,391 ( Denis Leary ) GET OUT OF THAT GODDAMN FRAME ! 1386 01:17:58,391 --> 01:18:00,059 GET OUT OF THERE. READY ? 1387 01:18:00,060 --> 01:18:02,062 ♪ THEY'RE NEVER GONNA LET YOU HAVE YOU TURN ♪ 1388 01:18:02,062 --> 01:18:06,066 ♪ YOU'D MIGHT AS WELL TALK TO A WALL ♪ 1389 01:18:06,066 --> 01:18:09,069 ♪ THAT'S WHEN I STEP TO THE SIDE ♪ 1390 01:18:09,069 --> 01:18:10,570 WHY DID YOU DO THAT ? 1391 01:18:10,570 --> 01:18:11,571 HMM, 1392 01:18:11,571 --> 01:18:13,573 I'VE KISSED BETTER. 1393 01:18:13,573 --> 01:18:14,574 OH, DAMN. 1394 01:18:14,574 --> 01:18:15,575 ( man ) CUT, CUT. 1395 01:18:15,575 --> 01:18:16,776 ( director ) ROLL TAPE. 1396 01:18:21,281 --> 01:18:24,784 ♪ SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO WALK AWAY ♪ 1397 01:18:24,784 --> 01:18:26,535 ( grunting ) 1398 01:18:27,037 --> 01:18:29,039 ( Denis grunting ) 1399 01:18:29,039 --> 01:18:30,540 ( director ) DIALOGUE ? 1400 01:18:30,540 --> 01:18:32,041 ( Denis ) OH, OK, READY ? 1401 01:18:33,043 --> 01:18:34,044 ( panting ) 1402 01:18:35,545 --> 01:18:36,546 DIALOGUE, YOU READY ? 1403 01:18:36,546 --> 01:18:38,047 ( director ) DIALOGUE. 1404 01:18:38,048 --> 01:18:39,049 OK, OK, READY ? GO ! 1405 01:18:39,049 --> 01:18:40,050 I'M VERY COMMITTED, YES. 1406 01:18:43,520 --> 01:18:47,023 ♪ JERKS MAY COME AND JERKS MAKE GO ♪ 1407 01:18:47,023 --> 01:18:51,027 ♪ THEN EVERYTHING'S JUST FINE ♪ 1408 01:18:51,027 --> 01:18:54,397 ♪ AND WHAT THEY KNOW AND WHAT THEY SEE DON'T REALLY MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME ♪ 1409 01:18:54,898 --> 01:18:57,901 ♪ I JUST DON'T HAVE THE TIME ♪ 1410 01:19:00,904 --> 01:19:01,905 YEAH. 1411 01:19:01,905 --> 01:19:02,906 ( director ) NO LAUGHING. 1412 01:19:02,906 --> 01:19:04,207 I KNOW, I DROPPED MY KEYS. 1413 01:19:04,207 --> 01:19:06,709 ♪ I TOOK AN EMOTIONAL DIVE ♪ 1414 01:19:06,710 --> 01:19:09,713 ♪ BUT I'M THROUGH HANGIN' OUT WITH THE CLOWNS ♪ 1415 01:19:10,213 --> 01:19:15,218 ♪ I WON'T TURN AWAY, NO, I WON'T LET 'EM BURN ME DOWN ♪ 1416 01:19:15,218 --> 01:19:17,136 ( Denis ) IS THAT PLANE BOTHERING US OR NOT ? 1417 01:19:17,137 --> 01:19:19,139 ( plane engine humming ) 1418 01:19:21,141 --> 01:19:22,642 ♪ BURN ME DOWN ♪ 1419 01:19:28,648 --> 01:19:31,150 ♪ BURN ME DOWN ♪ 1420 01:19:31,151 --> 01:19:33,153 ♪ WON'T LET 'EM BURN ME DOWN ♪ 1421 01:19:34,154 --> 01:19:36,656 DON'T CUT. 1422 01:19:36,656 --> 01:19:38,991 IT'S GONNA BE GREAT ONCE THE FUCKING THING GETS PAST. 1423 01:19:38,992 --> 01:19:40,994 ♪ I WON'T LET 'EM BURN ME DOWN ♪ 1424 01:19:41,494 --> 01:19:42,995 YOU SHOULD TRY THEM. 1425 01:19:43,496 --> 01:19:44,580 FUCK. 1426 01:19:44,581 --> 01:19:45,448 THAT'S CUT. 1427 01:23:20,913 --> 01:23:23,415 Closed Captions provided by SOFTITLER 90230