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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:28,087 ♪ 2 00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:13,527 There you are. 3 00:02:16,596 --> 00:02:19,566 Say, has, uh, this castle always had four turrets? 4 00:02:19,599 --> 00:02:22,101 Always. 5 00:02:22,135 --> 00:02:24,203 Four turrets. 6 00:02:24,237 --> 00:02:25,739 That doesn't seem right. 7 00:02:28,074 --> 00:02:30,243 If you hurry, sir, you'll still be in time 8 00:02:30,276 --> 00:02:31,711 to catch the last tour. 9 00:02:31,745 --> 00:02:32,745 Thanks. 10 00:02:36,215 --> 00:02:38,117 The room you are now standing in 11 00:02:38,151 --> 00:02:41,054 is an ancient banquet hall. 12 00:02:41,087 --> 00:02:43,590 And this table, ladies and gentlemen, 13 00:02:43,623 --> 00:02:46,192 is said to be the famed Round Table 14 00:02:46,225 --> 00:02:48,194 used by King Arthur. 15 00:02:48,227 --> 00:02:51,097 Many of the restored shields of the Knights of the Round Table 16 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:52,699 can be seen on these standards. 17 00:02:52,732 --> 00:02:54,267 Sir Bedivere. 18 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,703 - Sir-- - Man: Sir Bors de Ganis. 19 00:02:56,736 --> 00:02:59,606 - Sir-- - Sir Lancelot of the Lake. 20 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,708 If you don't mind. 21 00:03:01,741 --> 00:03:04,778 Not at all. Go right ahead. 22 00:03:04,811 --> 00:03:07,781 Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you'll kindly follow me. 23 00:03:10,349 --> 00:03:12,318 Over here, ladies and gentlemen, 24 00:03:12,351 --> 00:03:15,722 we have the shields of Sir Galahad, 25 00:03:15,755 --> 00:03:17,857 Sir Dalliance, 26 00:03:17,891 --> 00:03:20,860 and Sir Sagramore le Desirous. 27 00:03:20,894 --> 00:03:23,730 Good old Saggy. 28 00:03:23,763 --> 00:03:26,633 And over here, ladies and gentlemen, 29 00:03:26,666 --> 00:03:28,935 a remarkably preserved portrait. 30 00:03:28,968 --> 00:03:31,037 Lady Alisande la Carteloise. 31 00:03:31,070 --> 00:03:33,172 Woman: Wasn't she lovely? 32 00:03:33,206 --> 00:03:35,341 Guide: Lovely indeed, madam. 33 00:03:35,374 --> 00:03:40,880 She was renowned in legend as King Arthur's favorite niece. 34 00:03:40,914 --> 00:03:42,091 Over here, ladies and gentlemen-- 35 00:03:42,115 --> 00:03:45,619 pardon me-- we have a hauberk 36 00:03:45,652 --> 00:03:47,687 dating from the sixth century, 37 00:03:47,721 --> 00:03:50,924 said to have been worn by Sir Logris of Astolat. 38 00:03:50,957 --> 00:03:53,860 Kindly notice the round hole through the breastplate, 39 00:03:53,893 --> 00:03:57,731 undoubtedly caused by an iron-tipped arrow of the period. 40 00:03:57,764 --> 00:03:59,899 Mm-mm. 41 00:03:59,933 --> 00:04:01,134 I mean-- well, you see, 42 00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:02,769 that happens to be a bullet hole. 43 00:04:02,802 --> 00:04:05,705 Impossible! Firearms weren't invented 44 00:04:05,739 --> 00:04:07,306 until the 15th century. 45 00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:08,942 ( chuckles ) Oh, come now. 46 00:04:08,975 --> 00:04:11,077 Perhaps the gentleman saw the bullet fired. 47 00:04:11,110 --> 00:04:13,246 Perhaps the gentleman was there. 48 00:04:13,279 --> 00:04:16,349 Matter of fact, I was. 49 00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:20,654 Undoubtedly caused by an iron-tipped arrow of the period. 50 00:04:23,356 --> 00:04:26,826 Well, uh, that concludes the tour, ladies and gentlemen. 51 00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:28,762 On behalf of the orphanage and Lord Pendragon, 52 00:04:28,795 --> 00:04:30,063 I hope you've enjoyed it. 53 00:04:30,096 --> 00:04:31,665 This way out, please. 54 00:04:31,698 --> 00:04:33,633 Thank you. It's been most interesting. 55 00:05:04,998 --> 00:05:06,208 - I beg your pardon, sir. - Hmm? 56 00:05:06,232 --> 00:05:08,768 Lord Pendragon would like to see you. 57 00:05:08,802 --> 00:05:12,171 Well, that's very nice of him. 58 00:05:12,205 --> 00:05:14,974 Just as I remember her. 59 00:05:15,008 --> 00:05:17,043 - This way, sir. - Yes. 60 00:05:22,181 --> 00:05:23,717 "Just as I remember her"? 61 00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:31,858 And she dead these 1,300 years. 62 00:05:31,891 --> 00:05:33,693 ( knock on door ) 63 00:05:33,727 --> 00:05:37,030 Come in, come in. ( sneezes ) 64 00:05:37,063 --> 00:05:38,664 And shut the door. 65 00:05:42,035 --> 00:05:43,478 That's the worst of these confounded castles. 66 00:05:43,502 --> 00:05:45,204 Very picturesque and all that, 67 00:05:45,238 --> 00:05:47,016 but the wind whistles through like a howling gale. 68 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,843 This is the American gentleman, Your Lordship. 69 00:05:49,876 --> 00:05:53,012 I'm quite aware it's the American gentleman. 70 00:05:53,046 --> 00:05:54,848 - You may go, Richards. - But, Your Lordship-- 71 00:05:54,881 --> 00:05:56,950 Go, go. Scat. 72 00:05:59,385 --> 00:06:01,755 Now, no tricks, young man. 73 00:06:01,788 --> 00:06:05,725 I warn you, I boxed for Cambridge until my arm... 74 00:06:05,759 --> 00:06:06,826 ( sneezes ) 75 00:06:09,028 --> 00:06:11,197 Now, what's all this I hear 76 00:06:11,230 --> 00:06:13,466 about your creating a disturbance? 77 00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:15,468 You don't look balmy. 78 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,503 I assure you, Your Lordship, I'm perfectly sane. 79 00:06:17,536 --> 00:06:21,274 Well, stop staring at me as if I were a ghost. 80 00:06:21,307 --> 00:06:23,509 Have we met before? Here. 81 00:06:23,542 --> 00:06:26,279 - Well, no, not exactly. - What do you mean, not exactly? 82 00:06:26,312 --> 00:06:28,081 Either we've met before or we haven't. 83 00:06:28,114 --> 00:06:29,883 It's difficult to explain, Your Lordship. 84 00:06:29,916 --> 00:06:31,517 I-- I feel like I know you. 85 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:33,119 I know this castle 86 00:06:33,152 --> 00:06:35,021 and the girl in the painting downstairs, 87 00:06:35,054 --> 00:06:36,856 Lady Alisande. I know her, too. 88 00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:40,526 Wait, wait. Don't ring. I wanna show you something. 89 00:06:40,559 --> 00:06:43,362 - Take a look at this. - What is it? 90 00:06:43,396 --> 00:06:45,364 It's a gold amulet, 91 00:06:45,398 --> 00:06:48,501 just like the one on the girl in the painting. 92 00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,804 Yes, yes, of course. Of course. 93 00:06:50,837 --> 00:06:52,538 A remarkable duplicate. 94 00:06:52,571 --> 00:06:54,273 It's not a duplicate, sir. 95 00:06:54,307 --> 00:06:55,408 Where did you get it? 96 00:06:55,441 --> 00:06:57,343 She gave it to me. 97 00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:00,146 Young man, you're either a liar or a lunatic, 98 00:07:00,179 --> 00:07:02,949 and I'm not gonna sit here-- 99 00:07:02,982 --> 00:07:05,018 Here. 100 00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:06,252 - Thank you. - Excuse me. 101 00:07:09,455 --> 00:07:13,526 I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a long time. 102 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:16,229 I'm not keeping you from anything, am I? 103 00:07:16,262 --> 00:07:19,032 My name is Martin. Hank Martin. 104 00:07:19,065 --> 00:07:21,901 I was born in Hartford, Connecticut, USA. 105 00:07:21,935 --> 00:07:24,904 I'm a blacksmith, and my father was a blacksmith before me. 106 00:07:24,938 --> 00:07:26,940 Or I was a blacksmith until a few years ago, 107 00:07:26,973 --> 00:07:28,875 when these automobiles came along. 108 00:07:28,908 --> 00:07:31,144 Boy: Boy, sure is powerful-looking. 109 00:07:31,177 --> 00:07:32,545 Boy, it sure is. 110 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:35,381 Go ahead and touch it. I dare you. 111 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,184 - You do it. - I asked you first. 112 00:07:38,217 --> 00:07:39,853 Yeah, he asked you first. 113 00:07:47,026 --> 00:07:49,328 - ( backfires ) - Oh! Look out! 114 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,436 Did you fix it, Hank? 115 00:07:57,470 --> 00:07:59,405 I fixed it, all right. 116 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,908 The operation was a success, but the patient died. 117 00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:04,410 Well, we'll give her another whirl, huh? 118 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:07,947 - You kids in a hurry? - No, not me. 119 00:08:07,981 --> 00:08:09,615 What do you suppose makes it go? 120 00:08:09,648 --> 00:08:12,551 - I know. There's a dragon in it. - A what? 121 00:08:12,585 --> 00:08:14,921 A dragon, just like in King Arthur, 122 00:08:14,954 --> 00:08:17,156 that spits and shoots out fire. 123 00:08:17,190 --> 00:08:20,226 - Oh, you're daffy. - I am not, am I, Hank? 124 00:08:20,259 --> 00:08:22,261 I think she's got something there. 125 00:08:22,295 --> 00:08:24,197 What we need is a little dragon bait. 126 00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:28,401 ( engine sputtering ) 127 00:08:28,434 --> 00:08:30,036 Say, it's taken a hold. 128 00:08:30,069 --> 00:08:33,339 Oh, there's a dragon in there, all right. 129 00:08:33,372 --> 00:08:36,042 ( backfires, engine dies ) 130 00:08:36,075 --> 00:08:37,476 I think it's a reluctant dragon. 131 00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:39,178 Why don't we let it cool off a while, huh? 132 00:08:43,682 --> 00:08:46,119 Does that book tell you how to fix automobiles, Hank? 133 00:08:46,152 --> 00:08:48,654 Oh, this book tells you how to fix everything. 134 00:08:48,687 --> 00:08:50,599 At least that's what the fella said that sold it to me. 135 00:08:50,623 --> 00:08:53,126 - Wow! Look at that. - What is that thing, Hank? 136 00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:55,594 - Yeah, what is it, Hank? - That's a phonograph. 137 00:08:55,628 --> 00:08:59,032 That'll bring a 20-piece band smack into your parlor. 138 00:08:59,065 --> 00:09:02,568 - Drums and everything? - Sure, drums and everything. 139 00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:04,137 There's electric light bulb, 140 00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:07,273 a magic lantern, and a motorcycle. 141 00:09:07,306 --> 00:09:09,142 Wow! Look at that! 142 00:09:09,175 --> 00:09:12,912 You mean we're gonna have all those things someday, Hank? 143 00:09:12,946 --> 00:09:15,081 Son, every one of those things in that book, 144 00:09:15,114 --> 00:09:16,582 every item, we got 'em right now. 145 00:09:16,615 --> 00:09:18,284 You know why we got 'em? 146 00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:20,029 Because folks who other folks thought were crazy 147 00:09:20,053 --> 00:09:21,620 went out and invented 'em. 148 00:09:21,654 --> 00:09:24,323 That's how things get done, by folks who shoot high 149 00:09:24,357 --> 00:09:25,925 and just won't admit they're licked. 150 00:09:28,161 --> 00:09:31,064 ♪ 151 00:09:33,967 --> 00:09:38,437 ♪ Oh, there's nothin' to be ashamed of ♪ 152 00:09:38,471 --> 00:09:41,707 ♪ If you stub your toe on the moon ♪ 153 00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:45,211 ♪ When a dream's at the top of the sky ♪ 154 00:09:45,244 --> 00:09:48,214 ♪ Well, you just have to jump pretty high ♪ 155 00:09:48,247 --> 00:09:52,518 ♪ But don't give up too soon ♪ 156 00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:56,122 ♪ If you stub your toe on the moon ♪ 157 00:09:56,155 --> 00:09:57,723 Now, you take Harry Hadgetts. 158 00:09:57,756 --> 00:10:00,093 Children: Who's Harry Hadgetts? 159 00:10:00,126 --> 00:10:03,662 ♪ Young Harry Hadgetts loved making gadgets ♪ 160 00:10:03,696 --> 00:10:07,033 ♪ "Life needs some new things" was his claim ♪ 161 00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:10,669 ♪ Hoped one or two things might bring fame ♪ 162 00:10:10,703 --> 00:10:14,040 ♪ This is the last time you'll hear his name ♪ 163 00:10:14,073 --> 00:10:18,011 ♪ Nobody mentions Harry's inventions ♪ 164 00:10:18,044 --> 00:10:21,347 ♪ But do you think that got him down ♪ 165 00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:25,684 ♪ Here comes the end when you've gadgets to mend ♪ 166 00:10:25,718 --> 00:10:29,455 ♪ He's the best repairman in town ♪ 167 00:10:29,488 --> 00:10:33,492 ♪ So there's nothin' to be ashamed of ♪ 168 00:10:33,526 --> 00:10:35,694 ♪ If you stub your toe on the moon ♪ 169 00:10:35,728 --> 00:10:37,396 Fred? 170 00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:40,299 ♪ When a dream's at the top of the sky ♪ 171 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:44,103 ♪ Well, you just have to jump pretty high, high ♪ 172 00:10:44,137 --> 00:10:47,706 ♪ But don't give up too soon ♪ 173 00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:51,210 ♪ If you stub your toe on the moon ♪ 174 00:10:51,244 --> 00:10:52,645 Now, you take Sally Springer. 175 00:10:52,678 --> 00:10:54,513 Who's Sally Springer? 176 00:10:54,547 --> 00:10:57,383 Well, it's a long story, but I'll cut it down for you. 177 00:10:57,416 --> 00:11:01,320 ♪ Sweet Sally Springer she was a singer ♪ 178 00:11:01,354 --> 00:11:04,290 ♪ Lived in a hall room up one flight ♪ 179 00:11:04,323 --> 00:11:08,461 ♪ Thought of a ballroom big and bright ♪ 180 00:11:08,494 --> 00:11:12,065 ♪ Where she would make her debut some night ♪ 181 00:11:12,098 --> 00:11:15,734 ♪ Then for her trouble, pop went the bubble ♪ 182 00:11:15,768 --> 00:11:19,105 ♪ Say that it's sad but, wait, don't weep ♪ 183 00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:23,742 ♪ Now they admit every night she's a hit ♪ 184 00:11:23,776 --> 00:11:28,647 ♪ When she sings her children to sleep ♪ 185 00:11:28,681 --> 00:11:32,518 All: ♪ No, there's nothin' to be ashamed of ♪ 186 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:36,189 ♪ If you stub your toe on the moon ♪ 187 00:11:36,222 --> 00:11:40,626 ♪ Though it may be a blow to your pride ♪ 188 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:44,263 ♪ You're a hero because, well, you tried ♪ 189 00:11:44,297 --> 00:11:45,698 Good boy. 190 00:11:45,731 --> 00:11:49,235 All: ♪ So don't give up too soon 191 00:11:49,268 --> 00:11:52,638 ♪ If you stub your toe on the moon ♪ 192 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,649 ♪ Don't give up too soon 193 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:06,719 - ♪ If you stub your toe on the moon ♪ - ( backfires, engine starts ) 194 00:12:09,155 --> 00:12:12,491 ( backfires, engine dies ) 195 00:12:12,525 --> 00:12:14,660 Well, there's a moral there someplace, kids. 196 00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:17,363 - Hiya, Hank! - Hey, Sam. 197 00:12:17,396 --> 00:12:19,698 Old Man Miller's madder than a wet hen. 198 00:12:19,732 --> 00:12:22,135 Said you promised to have his pinto back by noon. 199 00:12:22,168 --> 00:12:23,769 By George, I did. 200 00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:25,671 Well, this'll have to wait till later, kids. 201 00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:28,107 - Aw, gee! - Come on. Everybody out. 202 00:12:28,141 --> 00:12:30,543 See you in the mornin'. 7:00 be too early? 203 00:12:30,576 --> 00:12:32,678 - ( all chattering ) - Good, good. 204 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:35,348 - See you tomorrow! - All right, bye. 205 00:12:35,381 --> 00:12:38,384 Say, if that cat spits up a spark plug, it's mine. 206 00:12:46,759 --> 00:12:47,826 ( thunder rumbles ) 207 00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,395 ( whinnies ) 208 00:12:49,428 --> 00:12:52,631 Whoa, Tex. Take it easy. I don't blame you. 209 00:12:52,665 --> 00:12:54,065 Looks like we're in for a wet night. 210 00:12:58,237 --> 00:13:00,706 ( thunder rumbles ) 211 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,475 Whoa, there. Whoa, whoa! 212 00:13:02,508 --> 00:13:03,709 ( whinnies ) 213 00:13:10,516 --> 00:13:11,650 Whoa, Tex! Whoa! 214 00:13:40,246 --> 00:13:42,348 Monster, will you battle? 215 00:13:42,381 --> 00:13:44,417 Will I do what? 216 00:13:47,686 --> 00:13:48,887 Will you joust? 217 00:13:48,921 --> 00:13:50,756 Will you venture a passage at arms? 218 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,825 Huh? 219 00:13:52,858 --> 00:13:54,227 - Up, dog! - ( armor squeals ) 220 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,763 Up, dog, and defend thyself! 221 00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:00,733 Up, I say! 222 00:14:00,766 --> 00:14:02,701 Look, old man, I don't know where 223 00:14:02,735 --> 00:14:04,737 you got that iron Union suit, 224 00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:06,881 but I've been up all night, and I'm in no mood for jokes. 225 00:14:06,905 --> 00:14:08,374 Hey, Tex. Here, Tex. 226 00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:10,776 Stay where you are, monster. 227 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:14,713 I give warning-- spit forth one flame of fire 228 00:14:14,747 --> 00:14:16,482 and I shall hack thee limb from limb! 229 00:14:21,487 --> 00:14:24,757 Here, now. Skip. 230 00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,601 Go ahead, Run along before they come and get you. 231 00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:28,461 Before they come? 232 00:14:28,494 --> 00:14:31,964 Your keepers. They should be here any minute. 233 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:35,768 Parley will gain thee not! Dost admit defeat? 234 00:14:35,801 --> 00:14:38,471 Look, I told you before, I'm in no mood-- 235 00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:39,705 Dost admit defeat? 236 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,677 Dost. By all means, dost. 237 00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:47,813 Forward, knave. Thou art captive of my lance. 238 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:48,846 I'll play along with you. 239 00:14:55,354 --> 00:14:59,692 Hey, tell me, bub... who art thou? 240 00:14:59,725 --> 00:15:01,794 I hight Sir Sagramore le Desirous, 241 00:15:01,827 --> 00:15:03,862 Knight of the Round Table. 242 00:15:03,896 --> 00:15:06,532 Howdy. I hight Hank Martin. 243 00:15:08,534 --> 00:15:11,370 Those turrets. 244 00:15:11,404 --> 00:15:15,341 I've never seen them before. That can't be Bridgeport. 245 00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:17,410 Sagramore: Yonder, varlet, is Camelot. 246 00:15:17,443 --> 00:15:19,845 Camelot? 247 00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:21,880 Capital of the kingdom of Britain, 248 00:15:21,914 --> 00:15:23,949 residence in state of King Arthur's Court. 249 00:15:25,584 --> 00:15:29,054 King Arthur? What year is this? 250 00:15:29,087 --> 00:15:31,757 This is the year of our Lord, 528. 251 00:15:33,959 --> 00:15:35,694 528? 252 00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:41,834 I guess I owe you an apology, brother. 253 00:15:41,867 --> 00:15:43,869 I'm the guy they're coming after. 254 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:44,970 Forward, knave. 255 00:15:57,983 --> 00:16:00,453 Raise for Sir Sagramore! 256 00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:12,030 Hold, monster. Bind the prisoner. 257 00:16:12,064 --> 00:16:13,332 Bind the prisoner! 258 00:16:16,402 --> 00:16:18,904 Here, here. Whoa. What's this? 259 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:20,539 Here, now, there's been a mistake. 260 00:16:20,573 --> 00:16:22,941 Get me a lawyer. Where's the head fella here? 261 00:16:22,975 --> 00:16:23,976 Forward, monster. 262 00:16:28,414 --> 00:16:30,254 - Where is the king? - In the Great Hall, sire. 263 00:16:33,018 --> 00:16:35,454 - Enough! To thy post. - Aye, sire. 264 00:16:35,488 --> 00:16:37,623 ( armor squeals ) 265 00:16:37,656 --> 00:16:39,024 Forward to the Great Hall. 266 00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:02,815 ( sneezes ) 267 00:17:06,752 --> 00:17:09,154 Oh, confound this castle. It's a veritable cave of winds. 268 00:17:09,187 --> 00:17:10,923 Somebody close the door. 269 00:17:10,956 --> 00:17:14,927 The king speaketh. Close the door! 270 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,062 Man 1: Close the door! 271 00:17:17,095 --> 00:17:18,431 Man 2: Close the door! 272 00:17:18,464 --> 00:17:20,399 ( door clangs ) 273 00:17:20,433 --> 00:17:21,934 The door closeth. 274 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,904 ♪ 275 00:17:28,073 --> 00:17:30,776 ♪ When 276 00:17:30,809 --> 00:17:34,780 ♪ Is sometime 277 00:17:34,813 --> 00:17:37,416 ♪ How many days 278 00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:40,419 ♪ Until sometime 279 00:17:40,453 --> 00:17:44,457 ♪ For my dreams make it clear 280 00:17:44,490 --> 00:17:48,093 ♪ That my lover is near 281 00:17:48,126 --> 00:17:54,533 ♪ And he ought to be here about ♪ 282 00:17:54,567 --> 00:17:59,605 ♪ Sometime 283 00:17:59,638 --> 00:18:02,174 ♪ Who 284 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:05,911 ♪ Is someone 285 00:18:05,944 --> 00:18:12,551 ♪ Who is this wonderful someone ♪ 286 00:18:12,585 --> 00:18:17,155 ♪ Oh, I'm keeping my heartstrings ♪ 287 00:18:17,189 --> 00:18:22,595 ♪ In tune 288 00:18:22,628 --> 00:18:25,698 ♪ And hoping 289 00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:29,868 ♪ That sometime 290 00:18:29,902 --> 00:18:35,674 ♪ Is soon 291 00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:38,577 ♪ 292 00:18:52,791 --> 00:18:55,561 - It is I, Sir Sagramore! - ( armor squeals ) 293 00:18:56,795 --> 00:18:58,564 Cease thy speaking! 294 00:19:01,033 --> 00:19:02,968 And thy babbling. 295 00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:05,971 ♪ 296 00:19:31,029 --> 00:19:33,532 ♪ Who 297 00:19:33,566 --> 00:19:36,168 ♪ Is someone 298 00:19:36,201 --> 00:19:42,941 ♪ Who is this wonderful someone ♪ 299 00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:47,780 ♪ Oh, I'm keeping my heartstrings ♪ 300 00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:53,151 ♪ In tune 301 00:19:53,185 --> 00:19:55,821 ♪ And hoping 302 00:19:55,854 --> 00:19:58,957 ♪ That sometime 303 00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:03,228 ♪ Is soon 304 00:20:03,261 --> 00:20:07,766 ♪ Oh, I'm hoping 305 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,936 ♪ That sometime 306 00:20:10,969 --> 00:20:17,109 ♪ Is soon 307 00:20:23,949 --> 00:20:25,618 Excellent, child. 308 00:20:25,651 --> 00:20:27,920 You take after my side of the family. 309 00:20:27,953 --> 00:20:29,955 We were all fine singers until my throat-- 310 00:20:29,988 --> 00:20:31,957 Thank you, my liege. 311 00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:33,859 With Your Majesty's permission, 312 00:20:33,892 --> 00:20:35,894 I have prepared a song for the lute. 313 00:20:35,928 --> 00:20:38,230 - It's a simple thing-- - Away, child. 314 00:20:38,263 --> 00:20:40,065 If there's one thing that curdles the appetite 315 00:20:40,098 --> 00:20:42,234 of an already-addled stomach, it's a lute solo. 316 00:20:44,637 --> 00:20:47,372 Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. 317 00:20:47,405 --> 00:20:50,275 What other amusement have we in store this day? 318 00:20:50,308 --> 00:20:52,577 ( armor squeals ) 319 00:20:55,180 --> 00:20:56,815 Sorry, my liege. 320 00:21:00,719 --> 00:21:05,691 Noble King, I crave pardon for this most unseemly intrusion, 321 00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:08,160 but I have just returned from capturing the fiercest 322 00:21:08,193 --> 00:21:10,696 of all human dragons. 323 00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:12,798 Behold, the monster! 324 00:21:14,667 --> 00:21:16,769 I'm a monster. 325 00:21:16,802 --> 00:21:18,270 ( chuckles ) 326 00:21:18,303 --> 00:21:20,673 A weird-looking creature. How camest thou by him? 327 00:21:20,706 --> 00:21:23,208 'Tis a most wondrous tale, my liege. 328 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:25,210 I fear we're in for it. 329 00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:29,214 My king, ladies of the Royal Court, 330 00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:32,184 fellow Knights of the Round Table, 331 00:21:32,217 --> 00:21:34,820 while riding in a far land, 332 00:21:34,853 --> 00:21:37,923 I came upon a concourse of a thousand ogres. 333 00:21:37,956 --> 00:21:40,125 And despite their numbers, 334 00:21:40,158 --> 00:21:44,429 determined to capture the most sky-towering giant among them-- 335 00:21:44,462 --> 00:21:46,364 Oh, here, now. Wait a minute. 336 00:21:46,398 --> 00:21:48,934 I was alone. I was asleep under a tree. 337 00:21:48,967 --> 00:21:50,035 Cease, monster! 338 00:21:52,705 --> 00:21:56,975 From dawn till dark and dark till dawn, we battled. 339 00:21:57,009 --> 00:22:01,446 With lance and sword, I laid upon the demon throng 340 00:22:01,479 --> 00:22:03,782 till all were dead but one, 341 00:22:03,816 --> 00:22:06,451 the fiercest ogre of them all. 342 00:22:06,484 --> 00:22:09,021 When finally I drove him to corner, 343 00:22:09,054 --> 00:22:11,824 He changed into a dragon, 344 00:22:11,857 --> 00:22:14,693 bellowing fire and flame upon me! 345 00:22:14,727 --> 00:22:16,461 When that availed him naught, 346 00:22:16,494 --> 00:22:19,965 he became a tusked and taloned werewolf. 347 00:22:19,998 --> 00:22:21,967 Oh, now, see here, Your Majesty-- 348 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:26,271 At last, the beast changed to his present form, 349 00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:28,974 and with one mighty bound, 350 00:22:29,007 --> 00:22:31,977 leaped to the topmost branch of a tree, 351 00:22:32,010 --> 00:22:34,279 200 cubits high! 352 00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:37,883 I picked up a stone the size of a bullock 353 00:22:37,916 --> 00:22:40,919 and hurled it at the beast. 354 00:22:40,953 --> 00:22:42,087 He fell to my feet. 355 00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:48,260 And here, milord, here is living proof 356 00:22:48,293 --> 00:22:50,495 of my mighty deed. 357 00:22:50,528 --> 00:22:53,999 - ( applause and murmuring ) - I thank thee. 358 00:22:54,032 --> 00:22:58,871 Your Majesty, mayeth I sayeth a few words? 359 00:22:58,904 --> 00:23:01,774 - In the first place-- - Silence, ogre! 360 00:23:01,807 --> 00:23:04,076 What makest thou of the creature, Merlin? 361 00:23:04,109 --> 00:23:08,513 A most dangerous and evil demon. The beast must be destroyed. 362 00:23:08,546 --> 00:23:11,016 - A hanging? - No. 363 00:23:11,049 --> 00:23:13,451 Burning at the stake, my liege. 364 00:23:15,888 --> 00:23:18,023 Pardon, milord, 365 00:23:18,056 --> 00:23:20,492 but the monster seemeth a gentle soul. 366 00:23:20,525 --> 00:23:21,894 Gentle? 367 00:23:21,927 --> 00:23:24,096 He hath nice eyes, 368 00:23:24,129 --> 00:23:27,432 and his features are... not unpleasant. 369 00:23:27,465 --> 00:23:31,236 True, true. Monster, hast thou a name? 370 00:23:31,269 --> 00:23:34,406 Hast. Martin. Hank Martin. 371 00:23:34,439 --> 00:23:37,910 The truth now. How camest thou to this kingdom? 372 00:23:37,943 --> 00:23:41,947 Well, I'm a little confused as to how I came here, 373 00:23:41,980 --> 00:23:43,782 but I did come from Connecticut. 374 00:23:46,518 --> 00:23:49,054 Hast, uh, heard of, uh... 375 00:23:49,087 --> 00:23:51,089 what he just said? 376 00:23:51,123 --> 00:23:53,291 Couldst be in Ireland. 377 00:23:53,325 --> 00:23:56,061 Oh, no. It's way past Ireland. 378 00:23:56,094 --> 00:24:00,232 You lie. There's naught beyond Ireland but the Great Sea. 379 00:24:00,265 --> 00:24:03,535 Trapped by his own words, my liege. 380 00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:05,838 An evil demon confronts us whose abode 381 00:24:05,871 --> 00:24:08,106 is the dismal depths of the ocean. 382 00:24:08,140 --> 00:24:11,543 Destroy this pestilence e'er he destroy us. 383 00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:12,911 Thou hast a good point. 384 00:24:12,945 --> 00:24:14,046 Man: Death to the monster! 385 00:24:14,079 --> 00:24:16,014 ( all shouting ) 386 00:24:16,048 --> 00:24:18,083 Quiet, quiet! 387 00:24:18,116 --> 00:24:21,920 Oh, my ears. ( groans ) 388 00:24:21,954 --> 00:24:23,989 Monster? 389 00:24:24,022 --> 00:24:26,925 I have bad tidings for thee. 390 00:24:26,959 --> 00:24:29,928 Tomorrow morning, thou burnest at the stake. 391 00:24:29,962 --> 00:24:31,930 Take him away. 392 00:24:31,964 --> 00:24:35,133 Well, Your Majesty, if I can just have a minute to-- 393 00:24:35,167 --> 00:24:38,470 I'd like to explain this-- wait a minute! Hey! Help! 394 00:24:38,503 --> 00:24:40,238 Wait! Help! 395 00:24:49,347 --> 00:24:52,284 ( crowd chattering ) 396 00:25:11,003 --> 00:25:13,972 'Tis said this monster has seven heads. 397 00:25:14,006 --> 00:25:15,874 Aye, and a fork'ed tail. 398 00:25:18,210 --> 00:25:21,179 It is I, Sir Sagramore! Open for Sir Sagramore! 399 00:25:30,622 --> 00:25:33,425 Well, what do you want now? 400 00:25:33,458 --> 00:25:36,594 I have brought thee a dainty tidbit from the king's kitchen. 401 00:25:36,628 --> 00:25:38,363 Roast meat. 402 00:25:38,396 --> 00:25:41,366 At this point, roast meat doesn't appeal to me. 403 00:25:41,399 --> 00:25:44,236 - When do I, uh-- - Within the hour. 404 00:25:44,269 --> 00:25:46,438 How thou must hate me for the mischief 405 00:25:46,471 --> 00:25:48,106 my foolish tongue has caused thee. 406 00:25:48,140 --> 00:25:50,042 You ought to be press agent for Jack the Ripper. 407 00:25:50,075 --> 00:25:51,652 An ogre, you called me. Dragon, werewolf. 408 00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:53,311 No wonder they wanna get rid of me. 409 00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:56,915 Cease. I feel bad enough. 410 00:25:56,949 --> 00:25:59,584 If there were aught I could say, aught I could do to save thee... 411 00:25:59,617 --> 00:26:01,519 Well, ain't there aught? 412 00:26:01,553 --> 00:26:02,921 Naught. 413 00:26:07,192 --> 00:26:08,192 Wait! 414 00:26:13,398 --> 00:26:15,333 Zounds, what an idea. 415 00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:16,710 - An idea? - Who hast condemned thee? 416 00:26:16,734 --> 00:26:19,271 'Tis Merlin, the maker of miracles. 417 00:26:19,304 --> 00:26:21,606 What if thou shouldst create a miracle? 418 00:26:21,639 --> 00:26:25,143 What if thou shouldst prove a greater sorcerer? 419 00:26:25,177 --> 00:26:26,544 Doing what? 420 00:26:28,346 --> 00:26:32,617 Nay. Nay. 'Tis a foolish thought. 421 00:26:32,650 --> 00:26:35,353 A greater sorcerer than Merlin? None such exists. 422 00:26:35,387 --> 00:26:37,055 He's the champion, huh? 423 00:26:39,324 --> 00:26:42,260 I have grown to like thee, monster. 424 00:26:42,294 --> 00:26:43,661 'Tis sad to part. 425 00:26:45,730 --> 00:26:47,065 'Tis sad. 426 00:26:52,037 --> 00:26:53,071 Farewell. 427 00:27:03,415 --> 00:27:04,682 Within the hour. 428 00:27:16,661 --> 00:27:18,663 Well, now, if it's a miracle they're after... 429 00:27:20,065 --> 00:27:21,699 ( humming ) 430 00:27:21,733 --> 00:27:24,169 ♪ Meet the new champion 431 00:27:24,202 --> 00:27:25,670 ( humming ) 432 00:27:25,703 --> 00:27:27,605 ( crowd chattering ) 433 00:27:32,577 --> 00:27:35,413 ♪ 434 00:27:57,635 --> 00:27:59,204 No, no, no, no. 435 00:27:59,237 --> 00:28:01,439 All these folderols simply to burn a man. 436 00:28:01,473 --> 00:28:03,175 Verily it grows monotonous. 437 00:28:03,208 --> 00:28:07,112 Aye, but the Romans had a more amusing procedure. 438 00:28:07,145 --> 00:28:09,714 They boiled their victims in oil. 439 00:28:09,747 --> 00:28:11,683 Boiled them in oil? 440 00:28:11,716 --> 00:28:16,721 ( chuckles ) Splendid. Hast not seen a lobster boil, Your Majesty? 441 00:28:16,754 --> 00:28:18,723 Truly, Morgan, thou art brilliant. 442 00:28:18,756 --> 00:28:21,726 All right, all right, all right. Let's get started. 443 00:28:21,759 --> 00:28:24,729 Thou knowest this early morning air bringeth on my vapors. 444 00:28:24,762 --> 00:28:27,265 The king speaketh. Bring on the beast. 445 00:28:27,299 --> 00:28:30,202 - Man 1: Bring on the beast! - Man 2: Bring on the beast! 446 00:28:30,235 --> 00:28:32,404 Must we have these eternal echoes? 447 00:28:32,437 --> 00:28:34,372 ( fanfare plays ) 448 00:28:50,888 --> 00:28:53,758 That's strange. 449 00:28:53,791 --> 00:28:55,760 The creature seemeth in splendid spirits. 450 00:28:55,793 --> 00:28:57,762 'Twill avail him naught. 451 00:28:57,795 --> 00:29:01,333 Fire and flame will destroy him and all his demon magic. 452 00:29:01,366 --> 00:29:03,835 Milord, does he have to die? 453 00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:05,670 Of course he has to die. 454 00:29:05,703 --> 00:29:07,272 You certainly don't expect me 455 00:29:07,305 --> 00:29:09,507 to disappoint all these people, do you? 456 00:29:09,541 --> 00:29:11,476 Thou art to be commended, Sir Sagramore, 457 00:29:11,509 --> 00:29:13,178 for thy part in these festivities. 458 00:29:13,211 --> 00:29:15,780 Nay. My heart weigheth heavily. 459 00:29:15,813 --> 00:29:19,517 Hear ye the proclamation of death! 460 00:29:22,354 --> 00:29:25,790 Monster, thou hast by trial both just and fair 461 00:29:25,823 --> 00:29:28,793 been found guilty of the following crimes. 462 00:29:28,826 --> 00:29:31,796 First, of assuming through demon wizardry... 463 00:29:31,829 --> 00:29:34,566 Stay away, clouds. 464 00:29:34,599 --> 00:29:36,901 Good old sun. 465 00:29:36,934 --> 00:29:40,538 ...and of tusked and taloned werewolf. 466 00:29:40,572 --> 00:29:43,408 Second, of conspiring with Beelzebub 467 00:29:43,441 --> 00:29:44,809 and the powers of evil 468 00:29:44,842 --> 00:29:47,612 to bring calamity upon this kingdom. 469 00:29:47,645 --> 00:29:49,781 Therefore, monster, 470 00:29:49,814 --> 00:29:53,385 by order of His Sovereign Majesty King Arthur of Britain, 471 00:29:53,418 --> 00:29:57,522 thou art hereby condemned to perish by the flame-- 472 00:29:57,555 --> 00:29:58,856 ( crowd screaming ) 473 00:30:02,327 --> 00:30:04,662 Merlin, he's bewitched. 474 00:30:06,298 --> 00:30:09,367 Have no fear, my liege. 475 00:30:09,401 --> 00:30:11,669 I shall cast a spell upon this demon. 476 00:30:12,804 --> 00:30:14,706 ( crowd chattering ) 477 00:30:30,688 --> 00:30:32,624 I fear thee not, monster. 478 00:30:32,657 --> 00:30:33,858 Boo. 479 00:30:40,565 --> 00:30:42,634 I, Merlin, sorcerer to the king, 480 00:30:42,667 --> 00:30:45,270 do hereby render helpless the evil demon 481 00:30:45,303 --> 00:30:48,273 within this monster and route forevermore 482 00:30:48,306 --> 00:30:51,376 his magic wizardry, and I command the gods 483 00:30:51,409 --> 00:30:53,878 to wither his tongue, to still his limbs, to, uh-- 484 00:30:53,911 --> 00:30:55,580 Psst, psst, Smiley? 485 00:30:55,613 --> 00:30:56,893 You're burning up a little there. 486 00:30:59,717 --> 00:31:01,686 ( mutters ) Thou art the devil himself. 487 00:31:03,888 --> 00:31:05,990 Is there no end to his sorcery? 488 00:31:06,023 --> 00:31:08,360 Do you give up? 489 00:31:08,393 --> 00:31:10,562 Ah-ha. Just as I thought! 490 00:31:10,595 --> 00:31:12,264 Hey. 491 00:31:12,297 --> 00:31:17,335 No forces of evil did cause this mischief, my liege. 492 00:31:17,369 --> 00:31:20,638 'Twas but this bauble, this toy, 493 00:31:20,672 --> 00:31:23,675 which any child can worketh. 494 00:31:23,708 --> 00:31:24,709 Start workething, bub. 495 00:31:29,681 --> 00:31:32,384 I command thee, 496 00:31:32,417 --> 00:31:34,752 maketh fire and flame. 497 00:31:34,786 --> 00:31:35,786 Any news? 498 00:31:37,589 --> 00:31:39,557 - Maketh fire and flame! - ( laughter ) 499 00:31:42,460 --> 00:31:43,561 No talent, huh? 500 00:31:45,029 --> 00:31:46,731 ( laughter ) 501 00:31:48,966 --> 00:31:50,935 A few words, Your Majesty. 502 00:31:50,968 --> 00:31:54,372 I am a wizard. I'm a whiz of a wizard. 503 00:31:54,406 --> 00:31:57,275 Matter of fact, just about the best in the business. 504 00:31:57,309 --> 00:31:59,577 And if you don't mind my saying so, 505 00:31:59,611 --> 00:32:02,680 it's a pretty good thing for you I'm not quick-tempered. 506 00:32:05,583 --> 00:32:07,819 Slim, release me here. 507 00:32:07,852 --> 00:32:09,287 Come on, quickly. 508 00:32:12,624 --> 00:32:15,593 ( crowd chattering ) 509 00:32:15,627 --> 00:32:16,994 I might lose my temper here 510 00:32:17,028 --> 00:32:18,896 and burn up a lot of good acreage. 511 00:32:18,930 --> 00:32:21,766 Now, watch closely and I'll show you what I mean. 512 00:32:21,799 --> 00:32:25,970 I have here, Your Majesty, a common, ordinary twig. 513 00:32:26,003 --> 00:32:27,439 Presto. 514 00:32:29,407 --> 00:32:32,344 ( crowd exclaiming ) 515 00:32:32,377 --> 00:32:35,980 You could imagine what I could do with a tree. 516 00:32:36,013 --> 00:32:38,416 For my next miracle, ladies and gentlemen-- 517 00:32:38,450 --> 00:32:40,452 Desist! Desist, monster, I prithee. 518 00:32:46,591 --> 00:32:49,527 And now, Your Majesty, hang onto your crown be-- 519 00:32:52,764 --> 00:32:54,966 because, uh, I'm about to-- 520 00:32:54,999 --> 00:32:56,801 No more, monster. I beseech thee. 521 00:32:56,834 --> 00:32:59,103 Spare my kingdom. 522 00:32:59,136 --> 00:33:01,706 Name thy terms, and I will grant them. 523 00:33:01,739 --> 00:33:03,808 Well... 524 00:33:03,841 --> 00:33:06,344 I would like to stick around here a little while, maybe. 525 00:33:06,378 --> 00:33:08,346 Half my domains are thine. 526 00:33:08,380 --> 00:33:10,482 Oh, no, just-- just a little-- 527 00:33:10,515 --> 00:33:12,450 little blacksmith shop would be all right. 528 00:33:12,484 --> 00:33:15,086 A smithy. ( Chuckles ) 529 00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:16,854 Granted. 530 00:33:16,888 --> 00:33:19,691 And if you could arrange it, I'd like to associate 531 00:33:19,724 --> 00:33:23,928 with these lords and ladies in a little more sociable atmosphere. 532 00:33:23,961 --> 00:33:27,832 A ball, as soon as 'tis possible to accoutre thee properly. 533 00:33:27,865 --> 00:33:29,867 This fellow that captured me, what about him? 534 00:33:29,901 --> 00:33:31,769 The dog shall die. 535 00:33:31,803 --> 00:33:34,071 Aye. Burn Sir Sagramore. 536 00:33:34,105 --> 00:33:36,808 Aye! Burn Sir Sagramore! 537 00:33:36,841 --> 00:33:38,876 ( crowd shouting ) 538 00:33:38,910 --> 00:33:41,679 Burn Sir Sagramore! Burn Sir Sagramore! 539 00:33:41,713 --> 00:33:45,483 Man: Burn Sir Sagramore! 540 00:33:45,517 --> 00:33:46,484 ( chuckles ) 541 00:33:46,518 --> 00:33:47,919 In oil, huh? 542 00:33:47,952 --> 00:33:50,788 Oh, no. No. Wait a minute. I like him. 543 00:33:50,822 --> 00:33:52,457 ( grunts ) 544 00:33:52,490 --> 00:33:54,526 Why, he shall be thy squire. 545 00:33:54,559 --> 00:33:57,829 I wouldn't be without a squire. And one really important thing. 546 00:33:57,862 --> 00:34:00,932 As long as I seem to be the boss around here, 547 00:34:00,965 --> 00:34:03,535 don't you think I ought to have a title to go with it? 548 00:34:03,568 --> 00:34:06,538 Approach and be knighted. 549 00:34:06,571 --> 00:34:09,474 ( fanfare plays ) 550 00:34:13,811 --> 00:34:16,147 Here. Practice with this a while. 551 00:34:21,953 --> 00:34:23,788 On thy knees, sire. 552 00:34:47,979 --> 00:34:50,882 I dub thee-- 553 00:34:50,915 --> 00:34:52,650 I dub thee Sir Boss! 554 00:34:52,684 --> 00:34:55,953 ( all cheering and shouting ) 555 00:34:55,987 --> 00:34:58,456 Hail to the Boss! 556 00:34:58,490 --> 00:35:00,758 Hail, Sir Boss. 557 00:35:00,792 --> 00:35:04,529 Methinks I liketh Camelot... 558 00:35:04,562 --> 00:35:05,930 a lot. 559 00:35:14,639 --> 00:35:16,808 Zounds, but thou hast a handsome figure. 560 00:35:16,841 --> 00:35:18,576 Now, take it easy, Saggy. 561 00:35:18,610 --> 00:35:20,812 I know you're grateful, but don't overdo it. 562 00:35:20,845 --> 00:35:24,716 The ball awaits thee. This way, milord. 563 00:35:24,749 --> 00:35:26,551 Hope some man doesn't ask me to dance. 564 00:35:37,929 --> 00:35:39,531 For thee, sire. 565 00:35:42,634 --> 00:35:47,071 Well, how about introducing me to the cast of characters? 566 00:35:47,104 --> 00:35:48,706 Pardon, sire? 567 00:35:48,740 --> 00:35:51,809 I wouldst know whom I meeteth this night. 568 00:35:51,843 --> 00:35:54,912 The king, for instance. What's he like? 569 00:35:54,946 --> 00:35:56,147 A prince among men. 570 00:35:56,180 --> 00:35:58,616 And, uh, Merlin? 571 00:36:00,184 --> 00:36:01,819 ( laughs ) 572 00:36:01,853 --> 00:36:03,888 A devil, who by cunning and trickery 573 00:36:03,921 --> 00:36:05,957 has come to rule the kingdom. 574 00:36:05,990 --> 00:36:07,659 A villain, huh? 575 00:36:07,692 --> 00:36:10,895 Who's the dark-haired lady with him there? 576 00:36:10,928 --> 00:36:13,030 Morgan le Fay, the king's niece. 577 00:36:13,064 --> 00:36:14,732 If aught should happen to the king, 578 00:36:14,766 --> 00:36:17,802 Merlin would see to it that she is queen. 579 00:36:17,835 --> 00:36:19,503 Well, aught better not happen then, huh? 580 00:36:23,941 --> 00:36:26,143 Who? 581 00:36:26,177 --> 00:36:31,916 Another of the king's nieces. Milady Alisande la Carteloise. 582 00:36:31,949 --> 00:36:33,918 Is she married or anything? 583 00:36:33,951 --> 00:36:36,588 She is the betrothed of Sir Lancelot of the Lake. 584 00:36:38,890 --> 00:36:41,793 Who is away on a mission of knight errantry, sire. 585 00:36:41,826 --> 00:36:44,629 Traveling man, huh? Shall we mingle then? 586 00:36:44,662 --> 00:36:47,632 ♪ 587 00:36:50,968 --> 00:36:52,937 Stop the music! 588 00:36:52,970 --> 00:36:54,005 Man 1: Stop the music! 589 00:36:54,038 --> 00:36:55,573 Man 2: Stop the music! 590 00:36:55,607 --> 00:36:58,042 ( blasts fanfare ) 591 00:36:58,075 --> 00:37:00,812 The music stoppeth, sire. 592 00:37:00,845 --> 00:37:01,879 ( sneezes ) 593 00:37:05,016 --> 00:37:07,351 Well, you got a mighty nice turnout for the clambake. 594 00:37:07,384 --> 00:37:08,720 I'm much obliged. 595 00:37:08,753 --> 00:37:10,722 It's a pleasure, I assure thee. 596 00:37:10,755 --> 00:37:13,090 Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Boss! 597 00:37:16,894 --> 00:37:18,930 The man is dangerous. 598 00:37:18,963 --> 00:37:23,334 And we also if we but smile. 599 00:37:23,367 --> 00:37:24,367 Dance with him. 600 00:37:28,740 --> 00:37:30,708 - Uh, Sir Galahad. - Oh. 601 00:37:30,742 --> 00:37:31,776 Howdy. 602 00:37:33,745 --> 00:37:35,212 Killed any dragons lately? 603 00:37:38,015 --> 00:37:39,015 Scout's honor? 604 00:37:46,190 --> 00:37:47,692 Pardon, my liege. 605 00:37:47,725 --> 00:37:50,361 And, ah, yes, my niece, Morgan le Fay, 606 00:37:50,394 --> 00:37:52,063 princess of the Royal House. 607 00:37:52,096 --> 00:37:54,065 Welcome to Camelot, milord. 608 00:37:54,098 --> 00:37:56,801 - A merry tune, is it not? - Oh, yes. 609 00:37:56,834 --> 00:37:58,803 I can hardly keep my feet still. 610 00:37:58,836 --> 00:38:02,774 Thou mayest think me bold, but wouldst dance with me? 611 00:38:02,807 --> 00:38:04,175 Why, certainly. I'd love to. 612 00:38:09,113 --> 00:38:10,147 Anytime. 613 00:38:13,818 --> 00:38:15,419 I, uh-- I beg your pardon. 614 00:38:15,452 --> 00:38:17,397 I don't want to seem aggressive or anything, but I did want-- 615 00:38:17,421 --> 00:38:20,958 My dear Alisande, hast heard my latest exploits? 616 00:38:20,992 --> 00:38:22,960 - Never in all-- - Say, just a minute, buster. 617 00:38:22,994 --> 00:38:24,195 This is our dance. 618 00:38:27,699 --> 00:38:29,133 Oh, by all means, yes. 619 00:38:37,274 --> 00:38:39,844 Hast thou an affliction in thine eye, sire? 620 00:38:39,877 --> 00:38:41,779 I'm afraid it's in my heart. 621 00:38:41,813 --> 00:38:45,883 But that twitching of the lid. I understand thee not. 622 00:38:45,917 --> 00:38:47,251 That's a wink, honey. 623 00:38:47,284 --> 00:38:48,853 A wink? 624 00:38:48,886 --> 00:38:52,757 Where I come from, it's a token of affection. 625 00:38:56,794 --> 00:38:58,262 Maybe we better dance, huh? 626 00:39:02,499 --> 00:39:03,935 Come along with me a minute. 627 00:39:03,968 --> 00:39:06,070 I want to straighten these fellas out. 628 00:39:16,180 --> 00:39:19,416 Will you excuse me? This won't take a minute. 629 00:39:19,450 --> 00:39:23,187 You don't seem to be very busy. Would you try something for me? 630 00:39:23,220 --> 00:39:24,989 Listen closely. 631 00:39:25,022 --> 00:39:27,091 ( whistles tune ) 632 00:39:30,294 --> 00:39:31,328 Try it. 633 00:39:31,362 --> 00:39:33,464 ( plays tune ) 634 00:39:33,497 --> 00:39:37,201 Fine. I have something for you, too. 635 00:39:37,234 --> 00:39:40,805 ( sings tune ) 636 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:43,808 Play it. 637 00:39:43,841 --> 00:39:46,310 ( plays tune ) 638 00:39:46,343 --> 00:39:49,146 Are you happy? Sounds fine. 639 00:39:49,180 --> 00:39:52,483 Well, who have we here? Milord Windpipe. 640 00:39:52,516 --> 00:39:54,819 Got something classy for you. Listen closely. 641 00:39:54,852 --> 00:39:58,890 ( whistles tune ) Nice, huh? 642 00:39:58,923 --> 00:40:01,292 ( whistles tune ) Try it. 643 00:40:01,325 --> 00:40:04,295 ( plays high-pitched notes ) 644 00:40:05,897 --> 00:40:09,500 Have to file this away till 1776, I guess. 645 00:40:09,533 --> 00:40:12,536 Now we come to the most important part of all, 646 00:40:12,569 --> 00:40:15,339 the rhythm section. 647 00:40:15,372 --> 00:40:18,943 Tell me, sire, how dost thou count this rhythm? 648 00:40:18,976 --> 00:40:20,978 Hmm? 649 00:40:21,012 --> 00:40:24,048 One, two, three. One, two, three. 650 00:40:24,081 --> 00:40:27,785 One, two, three. One, two, three. 651 00:40:27,819 --> 00:40:29,954 You're a three-beat man, huh? 652 00:40:31,355 --> 00:40:33,224 You're a four-beat man. 653 00:40:33,257 --> 00:40:36,360 One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. 654 00:40:36,393 --> 00:40:37,995 I'm a four-beat man. 655 00:40:38,029 --> 00:40:39,330 Naturally. Let me hear it. 656 00:40:41,966 --> 00:40:44,468 That's it. 657 00:40:44,501 --> 00:40:46,938 Oh, say, there's a new tuning on these instruments. 658 00:40:46,971 --> 00:40:48,005 Gonna sweep the country. 659 00:40:53,110 --> 00:40:54,178 There. 660 00:40:54,211 --> 00:40:57,014 ( tune plays ) 661 00:40:59,416 --> 00:41:01,853 Isn't that classy? 662 00:41:01,886 --> 00:41:04,588 There's a canoe that goes with these things, 663 00:41:04,621 --> 00:41:06,290 but that's another story. 664 00:41:10,494 --> 00:41:14,832 Don't lose your head now. Oh, there's just the man we need. 665 00:41:14,866 --> 00:41:17,168 - Hold it. - ( music stops ) 666 00:41:17,201 --> 00:41:18,502 Tell me, young man, 667 00:41:18,535 --> 00:41:21,172 art thou familiar with this melody? 668 00:41:21,205 --> 00:41:23,274 Indeed, Sir-- Sir Boss. I am. 669 00:41:23,307 --> 00:41:24,876 Well, come on. Join the band. 670 00:41:24,909 --> 00:41:28,345 I hope thou art paid up in the Guild. 671 00:41:28,379 --> 00:41:30,347 Everyone remember what I showed them. 672 00:41:30,381 --> 00:41:34,185 Are you all ready? 673 00:41:34,218 --> 00:41:36,487 ( big-band music plays ) 674 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,255 There, you see? 675 00:41:38,289 --> 00:41:42,059 When you putteth in the brass, you taketh out the lead. 676 00:41:42,093 --> 00:41:45,062 Sir Boss, what a wondrous transformation. 677 00:41:45,096 --> 00:41:47,364 So bright, so merry, so gay! 678 00:41:47,398 --> 00:41:49,233 Oh, it was really nothing. 679 00:41:49,266 --> 00:41:51,302 Tomorrow, I might even show them "The Turkey Trot." 680 00:41:51,335 --> 00:41:52,970 - "The Turkey Trot"? - Yeah. 681 00:41:53,004 --> 00:41:54,205 I wit thee not. 682 00:41:54,238 --> 00:41:55,506 Oh, 'tis a gayish gambol. 683 00:41:57,441 --> 00:42:00,311 Oh, come. Relax. You might like it. 684 00:42:00,344 --> 00:42:02,313 ( crowd whispering ) 685 00:42:12,656 --> 00:42:15,459 Methinks this will be his undoing. 686 00:42:22,466 --> 00:42:23,500 This is an out-- 687 00:42:26,303 --> 00:42:27,571 Yes, sire? 688 00:43:28,299 --> 00:43:30,201 Would you like to sit the rest of this out? 689 00:43:30,234 --> 00:43:31,735 'Twould be most unseemly. 690 00:43:31,768 --> 00:43:34,005 I know it 'twould. I want to talk to you alone. 691 00:43:53,790 --> 00:43:55,559 'Tis a beautiful night, sire. 692 00:43:55,592 --> 00:43:58,529 Oh, 'tis. 'Tis indeed. 693 00:43:58,562 --> 00:44:00,664 But I wish you wouldn't call me sire. 694 00:44:00,697 --> 00:44:02,533 Yes, O Mighty Sorcerer. 695 00:44:02,566 --> 00:44:04,701 And I wanna straighten you out on that too. 696 00:44:04,735 --> 00:44:07,604 I don't care what it looked like out there the other day. 697 00:44:07,638 --> 00:44:08,739 I'm just one of the boys, 698 00:44:08,772 --> 00:44:10,707 just a fella called Hank Martin. 699 00:44:10,741 --> 00:44:12,209 A human being? 700 00:44:12,243 --> 00:44:16,013 Mm-hmm. Right now, very human. 701 00:44:20,451 --> 00:44:22,119 Tell me, sire-- 702 00:44:22,153 --> 00:44:25,156 Oh, no. Hank. 703 00:44:25,189 --> 00:44:27,558 Tell me... Hank... 704 00:44:27,591 --> 00:44:30,494 why dost thou confide in me? 705 00:44:30,527 --> 00:44:34,065 I don't know, unless-- well, except I'm grateful. 706 00:44:34,098 --> 00:44:36,667 Well, you-- you and Saggy were the only ones 707 00:44:36,700 --> 00:44:39,236 that seemed to care if I burned or not. 708 00:44:39,270 --> 00:44:42,506 I'd feel as sorry for any beast of the field. 709 00:44:42,539 --> 00:44:44,441 Oh, now, don't spoil it. 710 00:44:44,475 --> 00:44:48,479 In the second place, Alisande, you're a very pretty girl. 711 00:44:48,512 --> 00:44:49,746 Thou art pretty too, milord. 712 00:44:51,748 --> 00:44:54,185 You mustn't go around saying men are pretty. 713 00:44:54,218 --> 00:44:57,754 If you wanna make an exception in my case, say I'm cute. 714 00:44:57,788 --> 00:45:00,457 Well, thou art in truth the cutest-- 715 00:45:00,491 --> 00:45:02,726 I don't like that either. Say I'm healthy or something. 716 00:45:02,759 --> 00:45:05,362 You know what I think I'll call you? 717 00:45:05,396 --> 00:45:06,597 Sandy. 718 00:45:06,630 --> 00:45:09,633 - Sandy? - Mm-hmm. 719 00:45:09,666 --> 00:45:11,168 Sandy. 720 00:45:11,202 --> 00:45:13,770 It hath a fine and winsome grace. 721 00:45:13,804 --> 00:45:15,606 Sandy. 722 00:45:15,639 --> 00:45:19,243 Even so, already it falleth trippingly from the tongue. 723 00:45:19,276 --> 00:45:20,477 Shakespeare. 724 00:45:20,511 --> 00:45:22,246 Shakespeare? 725 00:45:22,279 --> 00:45:24,348 Oh, he's a new boy coming up later. 726 00:45:24,381 --> 00:45:25,649 Very clever fella. 727 00:45:27,651 --> 00:45:30,487 Oh, gee, Connecticut was never like this. 728 00:45:30,521 --> 00:45:35,226 And where is this strange land, this Conn-ect-i-cut? 729 00:45:35,259 --> 00:45:37,328 A million miles... 730 00:45:37,361 --> 00:45:39,430 a thousand years away. 731 00:45:39,463 --> 00:45:42,166 I comprehend thee not. 732 00:45:42,199 --> 00:45:45,169 I'm not sure I comprehend me either. 733 00:45:45,202 --> 00:45:47,271 One thing I know, though. I'm glad I'm here. 734 00:45:50,507 --> 00:45:52,409 ( humming ) 735 00:45:55,779 --> 00:45:59,850 ♪ Once and for always 736 00:45:59,883 --> 00:46:05,556 ♪ Let's have it understood 737 00:46:05,589 --> 00:46:10,261 ♪ We will be together 738 00:46:10,294 --> 00:46:14,365 ♪ Just the way we should 739 00:46:14,398 --> 00:46:18,802 ♪ Let's not wait and hope 740 00:46:18,835 --> 00:46:23,474 ♪ For something more sublime 741 00:46:23,507 --> 00:46:26,610 ♪ Don't you know 742 00:46:26,643 --> 00:46:33,550 ♪ That always isn't too much time ♪ 743 00:46:33,584 --> 00:46:37,221 ♪ So once 744 00:46:37,254 --> 00:46:40,691 ♪ And for always 745 00:46:40,724 --> 00:46:46,397 ♪ Let's say that it's agreed 746 00:46:46,430 --> 00:46:50,367 ♪ Wishing days are over 747 00:46:50,401 --> 00:46:55,439 ♪ This is all we need 748 00:46:55,472 --> 00:46:58,509 ♪ And tonight 749 00:46:58,542 --> 00:47:03,847 ♪ We'll notify the stars 750 00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:07,751 ♪ Above 751 00:47:07,784 --> 00:47:13,357 ♪ That once and for always 752 00:47:13,390 --> 00:47:19,563 ♪ And no less than always 753 00:47:19,596 --> 00:47:23,567 ♪ You and I 754 00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:26,703 ♪ Will be 755 00:47:26,737 --> 00:47:30,807 ♪ Do do do do do do ♪ 756 00:47:30,841 --> 00:47:36,280 ♪ In love 757 00:47:36,313 --> 00:47:39,850 Oh, 'tis truly lovely. 758 00:47:39,883 --> 00:47:44,988 ♪ Once and for always 759 00:47:45,021 --> 00:47:50,594 ♪ Let's have it understood 760 00:47:50,627 --> 00:47:52,596 But I know not thy meaning, sire. 761 00:47:52,629 --> 00:47:56,600 'Tis warming to the heart, but confusing to the mind. 762 00:47:56,633 --> 00:47:58,502 All I'm trying to tell you, honey, 763 00:47:58,535 --> 00:48:01,938 is even if you lived up in my day, around 1905, 764 00:48:01,972 --> 00:48:04,341 I'd still feel the same way about you. 765 00:48:04,375 --> 00:48:06,843 Time isn't important if it's the real thing. 766 00:48:09,413 --> 00:48:12,749 ♪ Let's not wait 767 00:48:12,783 --> 00:48:14,985 ♪ And hope for something 768 00:48:15,018 --> 00:48:18,722 ♪ More sublime 769 00:48:18,755 --> 00:48:21,825 ♪ Don't you know 770 00:48:21,858 --> 00:48:23,627 ♪ No 771 00:48:23,660 --> 00:48:25,629 ♪ Well, always 772 00:48:25,662 --> 00:48:30,634 ♪ Isn't too much time 773 00:48:30,667 --> 00:48:32,869 Seems the only thing I brought with me from Connecticut 774 00:48:32,903 --> 00:48:34,705 is a little book, an almanac 775 00:48:34,738 --> 00:48:37,574 full of useful advice and wise observations, 776 00:48:37,608 --> 00:48:38,842 one of which says, 777 00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:42,813 "Love once, but love always and forever." 778 00:48:42,846 --> 00:48:44,381 That's what I'm trying to tell you, 779 00:48:44,415 --> 00:48:46,283 just like it says in the almanac. 780 00:48:46,317 --> 00:48:47,684 What's an almanac? 781 00:48:47,718 --> 00:48:49,653 Doesn't matter. They all say the same thing. 782 00:48:51,922 --> 00:48:56,760 ♪ Once and for always 783 00:48:56,793 --> 00:49:01,832 ♪ Let's say that it's agreed 784 00:49:01,865 --> 00:49:04,701 ♪ Agreed 785 00:49:04,735 --> 00:49:09,573 ♪ Wishing days are over 786 00:49:09,606 --> 00:49:13,043 ♪ This is all we need 787 00:49:13,076 --> 00:49:15,912 ♪ And tonight 788 00:49:15,946 --> 00:49:18,749 ♪ We'll notify 789 00:49:18,782 --> 00:49:22,319 ♪ The stars 790 00:49:22,353 --> 00:49:26,690 ♪ Above 791 00:49:26,723 --> 00:49:31,695 ♪ That once and for always 792 00:49:31,728 --> 00:49:35,332 ♪ And no less 793 00:49:35,366 --> 00:49:38,502 ♪ Than always 794 00:49:38,535 --> 00:49:42,005 ♪ You and I 795 00:49:42,038 --> 00:49:44,641 ♪ Will be 796 00:49:44,675 --> 00:49:48,712 ♪ Do do do do 797 00:49:48,745 --> 00:49:53,517 ♪ In love 798 00:50:01,925 --> 00:50:03,427 ( gasps ) 799 00:50:03,460 --> 00:50:05,095 Oh, I shouldn't have done that, huh? 800 00:50:05,128 --> 00:50:07,564 'Twas mine fault as much as thine. 801 00:50:07,598 --> 00:50:08,999 Well, then this one's on me. 802 00:50:17,774 --> 00:50:19,743 Will I see you tomorrow? 803 00:50:19,776 --> 00:50:20,877 'Twould be most-- 804 00:50:20,911 --> 00:50:24,147 Tomorrow then, at my smithy. 805 00:50:24,180 --> 00:50:28,485 Logris, thou art a friend of Lancelot's. 806 00:50:28,519 --> 00:50:30,454 Wouldst say he is a jealous man? 807 00:50:30,487 --> 00:50:31,888 Most jealous. 808 00:50:31,922 --> 00:50:33,757 Knowest thou his whereabouts? 809 00:50:33,790 --> 00:50:35,759 They say he's bound for the north country. 810 00:50:35,792 --> 00:50:37,694 A day's ride would reach him. 811 00:50:37,728 --> 00:50:39,630 A night's ride. Thou must leave at once. 812 00:50:46,202 --> 00:50:47,704 Stay, Sir Lancelot! 813 00:50:49,506 --> 00:50:50,874 Sir Lancelot! 814 00:50:54,044 --> 00:50:55,145 Stay, Sir Lancelot! 815 00:50:59,082 --> 00:51:01,618 Evil tidings, my friend. 816 00:51:01,652 --> 00:51:03,053 An interloper from a foreign land 817 00:51:03,086 --> 00:51:05,522 has gazed with ardor upon the Lady Alisande. 818 00:51:05,556 --> 00:51:08,425 Huh? Name of this interloper? 819 00:51:08,459 --> 00:51:09,726 Sir Boss. 820 00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:13,464 Sir Boss. I ride forthwith to Camelot. 821 00:51:13,497 --> 00:51:15,966 - But the quest, sire. - The quest shall wait. 822 00:51:15,999 --> 00:51:18,101 First, I must disembowel a scurvy knave. 823 00:51:28,011 --> 00:51:30,180 'Tis a monstrous sorcerer within. 824 00:51:30,213 --> 00:51:31,882 Most monstrous! 825 00:51:35,986 --> 00:51:37,187 Well, let's see here. 826 00:51:39,189 --> 00:51:40,724 Two inches off the cuff. 827 00:51:43,126 --> 00:51:46,997 - Oh, you got me a little there. - Thou art indeed a wizard. 828 00:51:47,030 --> 00:51:49,933 When 'tis done, 'twill become thee as fittingly as it did 829 00:51:49,966 --> 00:51:51,468 to Sagramore le Desirous. 830 00:51:51,502 --> 00:51:54,104 Oh. Sir Sagramore le Desirous. 831 00:51:54,137 --> 00:51:57,107 We've got to do something about that. 832 00:51:57,140 --> 00:51:59,209 Say, when you were a kid, did you have a first name? 833 00:51:59,242 --> 00:52:01,244 Aye, but from that day to this, 834 00:52:01,277 --> 00:52:03,847 no man has dared breathe it in my presence. 835 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:05,181 Oh, but you're gonna tell me. 836 00:52:05,215 --> 00:52:07,551 Wild horses could not drag it from me. 837 00:52:07,584 --> 00:52:09,520 Come on, Saggy. Fess up. 838 00:52:11,922 --> 00:52:15,191 To my undying shame, 'twas Clarence. 839 00:52:15,225 --> 00:52:19,062 ( laughs ) Clarence. Suits your personality, too. 840 00:52:19,095 --> 00:52:21,264 I dub thee Clarence. 841 00:52:21,297 --> 00:52:22,799 Whoop. 842 00:52:22,833 --> 00:52:24,000 As you will, milord. 843 00:52:24,034 --> 00:52:26,002 ( humming ) 844 00:52:28,939 --> 00:52:30,206 Hi, men. 845 00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:32,943 Oh, well, you'll get used to me. 846 00:52:32,976 --> 00:52:34,678 Who's this? 847 00:52:34,711 --> 00:52:37,881 Who cometh in yonder covered wagon? 848 00:52:37,914 --> 00:52:40,216 'Tis the Lady Alisande. 849 00:52:40,250 --> 00:52:42,052 I warn thee, milord, this meeting is unwise. 850 00:52:42,085 --> 00:52:43,654 The girl is betrothed. 851 00:52:43,687 --> 00:52:46,156 I'll take care of this thing, Saggy. 852 00:52:46,189 --> 00:52:47,189 But, sire-- 853 00:52:51,928 --> 00:52:53,897 Sandy. 854 00:52:53,930 --> 00:52:55,566 Hank. 855 00:52:55,599 --> 00:52:57,133 Thanks for coming. 856 00:53:01,638 --> 00:53:03,540 In truth, I-- I did not want to come. 857 00:53:03,574 --> 00:53:06,276 I know, you just came to tell me that you couldn't make it. 858 00:53:06,309 --> 00:53:09,079 Honey, I got something awfully important to ask you. 859 00:53:09,112 --> 00:53:11,782 ( snickering ) 860 00:53:11,815 --> 00:53:14,818 Well, it's a little crowded here. 861 00:53:14,851 --> 00:53:17,988 Could we... 862 00:53:18,021 --> 00:53:19,623 I hate to run out on you fellas, 863 00:53:19,656 --> 00:53:21,925 but you can see how important this is, huh? 864 00:53:21,958 --> 00:53:23,259 Mind the children, Clarence. 865 00:53:28,264 --> 00:53:29,666 Abracadabra! Boom! 866 00:53:31,802 --> 00:53:33,980 The children are gonna love me around here, aren't they? 867 00:53:34,004 --> 00:53:36,106 Oh, say, I got a little trinket here 868 00:53:36,139 --> 00:53:38,675 that I whipped up for you. 869 00:53:38,709 --> 00:53:40,210 - For me, sire? - Yes. 870 00:53:40,243 --> 00:53:42,045 Hath it a name? 871 00:53:42,078 --> 00:53:44,748 Well, in my country, we call it a safety pin. 872 00:53:44,781 --> 00:53:46,750 Wouldst sitteth down? 873 00:53:46,783 --> 00:53:49,753 'Tis a strange device. What purpose serveth it? 874 00:53:49,786 --> 00:53:52,222 Well, it hath a myriad of purposes. 875 00:53:52,255 --> 00:53:55,759 For instance, uh, do you have a handkerchief? 876 00:53:55,792 --> 00:53:57,272 - A kerchief, sire? - A kerchief, yes. 877 00:54:00,797 --> 00:54:02,633 You expecting a cold? 878 00:54:02,666 --> 00:54:04,668 ( chuckles ) 879 00:54:04,701 --> 00:54:06,703 You take, uh-- You take it like this, 880 00:54:06,737 --> 00:54:10,741 over there, over there, and this up here. 881 00:54:10,774 --> 00:54:13,710 Now we take our little gadget, you see, 882 00:54:13,744 --> 00:54:17,681 and hook it up there. 883 00:54:17,714 --> 00:54:18,882 There you are. See? 884 00:54:18,915 --> 00:54:20,016 Amazing, sire. 885 00:54:20,050 --> 00:54:21,084 Isn't it, honey? 886 00:54:21,117 --> 00:54:22,619 But to what purpose? 887 00:54:22,653 --> 00:54:25,856 Huh? Oh. 888 00:54:25,889 --> 00:54:28,024 To what purpose? ( clears throat ) 889 00:54:28,058 --> 00:54:30,627 Well, in the south, 890 00:54:30,661 --> 00:54:32,101 they call them Aunt Jemimas, I think. 891 00:54:32,128 --> 00:54:33,396 ( laughs ) 892 00:54:33,429 --> 00:54:35,932 Now, you wanna get the little gadget off there. 893 00:54:35,966 --> 00:54:38,802 You just unlatch it like that. There you are. Presto. 894 00:54:38,835 --> 00:54:40,370 Safe, sound and simple, isn't it? 895 00:54:40,403 --> 00:54:43,073 - It's a miracle. - Well, not exactly a miracle, 896 00:54:43,106 --> 00:54:45,241 but certainly a very handy little gadget. 897 00:54:45,275 --> 00:54:46,710 ( gasps ) 898 00:54:46,743 --> 00:54:47,878 I didn't mean to scare you. 899 00:54:47,911 --> 00:54:49,345 And that's not a miracle either. 900 00:54:49,379 --> 00:54:51,648 That's just a little gadget called a magnet, 901 00:54:51,682 --> 00:54:54,284 based on an idea cooked up by a fella named Ben Franklin. 902 00:54:54,317 --> 00:54:55,618 This is yours. 903 00:54:56,853 --> 00:54:58,388 'Tis a handsome gift, sire. 904 00:55:00,791 --> 00:55:02,759 But I cannot accept it. 905 00:55:02,793 --> 00:55:05,896 It would not be honorable. 906 00:55:05,929 --> 00:55:08,765 You should know this, sire. I'm betrothed to Sir Lancelot. 907 00:55:08,799 --> 00:55:10,400 - I did know. - But-- 908 00:55:10,433 --> 00:55:12,703 Please, honey, let me do the talking. 909 00:55:12,736 --> 00:55:14,380 Sandy, I haven't been around here very long. 910 00:55:14,404 --> 00:55:16,072 There's a lot of things I don't know, 911 00:55:16,106 --> 00:55:18,008 how I got here, how long I'm gonna be here. 912 00:55:18,041 --> 00:55:19,919 - I do not comprehend. - Don't try to follow me. 913 00:55:19,943 --> 00:55:21,211 Please. Just listen. 914 00:55:21,244 --> 00:55:23,313 What I'm getting at is this. 915 00:55:23,346 --> 00:55:26,349 Would you consider being betrothed to me? 916 00:55:26,382 --> 00:55:27,851 But Sir Lancelot. 917 00:55:27,884 --> 00:55:30,887 We'll get to him later. Do you love him? 918 00:55:30,921 --> 00:55:33,223 Lancelot is a wonderful man. 919 00:55:33,256 --> 00:55:35,225 Brave, stalwart, handsome. 920 00:55:35,258 --> 00:55:36,827 Do you love him? 921 00:55:36,860 --> 00:55:37,970 A wife would be proud of such a husband. 922 00:55:37,994 --> 00:55:39,095 Do you love him? 923 00:55:41,898 --> 00:55:43,867 No, Hank. 924 00:55:43,900 --> 00:55:45,268 Hallelujah. 925 00:55:48,338 --> 00:55:51,742 No, no. Thou must not. 'Tis most unseemly. 926 00:55:51,775 --> 00:55:53,744 Why? 927 00:55:53,777 --> 00:55:57,714 Dost thou not understand? I am betrothed to Sir Lancelot. 928 00:55:57,748 --> 00:55:59,049 I know. I know. 929 00:55:59,082 --> 00:56:00,751 But when does he get back? 930 00:56:00,784 --> 00:56:02,318 Perhaps a month. 931 00:56:02,352 --> 00:56:04,821 You leave everything to me. I'll handle old Lance. 932 00:56:04,855 --> 00:56:06,890 But I fear for thee, Hank. 933 00:56:06,923 --> 00:56:08,491 Sir Lancelot's anger is known to freeze 934 00:56:08,524 --> 00:56:10,126 the hearts of the most courageous. 935 00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:12,128 Sandy, don't worry. Now, please. 936 00:56:12,162 --> 00:56:14,030 Just toddle along home to the castle. 937 00:56:14,064 --> 00:56:16,933 - But, Hank-- - Don't you trust me, Sandy? 938 00:56:16,967 --> 00:56:19,035 Yes, I trust thee, Hank. 939 00:56:19,069 --> 00:56:21,738 Good. Here. You forgot something. 940 00:56:21,772 --> 00:56:23,039 I'll see you later. 941 00:56:29,946 --> 00:56:31,147 Okay, men, shove off. 942 00:56:32,949 --> 00:56:35,351 Heave ho. 943 00:56:35,385 --> 00:56:38,021 Departeth! 944 00:56:38,054 --> 00:56:39,054 Forward! 945 00:56:55,538 --> 00:56:57,407 ( clang ) 946 00:57:17,527 --> 00:57:19,495 - Sir Boss? - Yeah? 947 00:57:19,529 --> 00:57:20,931 - I must warn thee. - What about? 948 00:57:20,964 --> 00:57:23,166 Did you get the squeak out of there? 949 00:57:23,199 --> 00:57:24,935 - Methinks I have, sire. - ( armor squeals ) 950 00:57:24,968 --> 00:57:27,971 Not entirely. Not entirely. 951 00:57:28,004 --> 00:57:29,505 But, sire, I must warn thee. 952 00:57:29,539 --> 00:57:31,507 Yeah? 953 00:57:31,541 --> 00:57:33,844 Art occupied, blacksmith? 954 00:57:33,877 --> 00:57:36,012 Have care, sire. 955 00:57:36,046 --> 00:57:38,348 Yeah, okay. I'll fix that in a minute. 956 00:57:38,381 --> 00:57:39,926 I got a cash customer here. Wait a minute. 957 00:57:39,950 --> 00:57:41,584 What's on your mind, friend? 958 00:57:41,617 --> 00:57:43,954 Death to a scurvy knave 959 00:57:43,987 --> 00:57:46,089 whom I shall find before this day has ended. 960 00:57:46,122 --> 00:57:48,124 Wouldst have an edge on my weapon! 961 00:57:48,158 --> 00:57:51,995 Yes, well, you came to the right place, friend. 962 00:57:52,028 --> 00:57:54,173 I guess you'd like a little edge on the lance too, wouldn't you? 963 00:57:54,197 --> 00:57:55,231 Mm-hmm. 964 00:57:57,433 --> 00:58:00,403 I'll get it. Don't stand there fidgeting. 965 00:58:00,436 --> 00:58:01,838 Give me a lift here. Come on. 966 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,089 By George, big fella, 967 00:58:19,122 --> 00:58:21,357 you've got your dander up today, haven't you? 968 00:58:21,391 --> 00:58:23,559 Hate to be the guy you're looking for. 969 00:58:23,593 --> 00:58:25,628 ( armor squeals ) 970 00:58:25,661 --> 00:58:28,031 In a minute. In a minute. 971 00:58:28,064 --> 00:58:30,033 This man has urgent business here. 972 00:58:30,066 --> 00:58:32,202 - Somebody do you wrong? - A grievous wrong. 973 00:58:32,235 --> 00:58:33,603 Uh-huh. Well, I can tell. 974 00:58:33,636 --> 00:58:35,438 When a fella's as mad as you appear to be, 975 00:58:35,471 --> 00:58:37,416 there's generally a woman at the bottom of it, right? 976 00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:41,277 - Thou art wise, blacksmith. - Somebody stole your gal, huh? 977 00:58:41,311 --> 00:58:45,215 Naturally, you're gonna take steps... long steps. 978 00:58:45,248 --> 00:58:47,583 I shall seek out this interloper, 979 00:58:47,617 --> 00:58:49,986 and be he the size of ten giants 980 00:58:50,020 --> 00:58:53,156 and hath he the strength and fury of a thousand lions, 981 00:58:53,189 --> 00:58:54,925 I shall meet him upon the field of honor 982 00:58:54,958 --> 00:58:57,527 and thrust him through like an ox on a spit. 983 00:58:59,295 --> 00:59:01,631 Ah, but the end shall not come swiftly. 984 00:59:01,664 --> 00:59:04,267 Mark you, the death of this knave 985 00:59:04,300 --> 00:59:07,270 who calleth himself Sir Boss shall become legend, 986 00:59:07,303 --> 00:59:09,105 a warning to all who would covet 987 00:59:09,139 --> 00:59:10,606 the betrothed of another. 988 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:13,243 I don't blame you. If I was in your spot-- 989 00:59:16,179 --> 00:59:18,148 Did you say "Sir Boss"? 990 00:59:18,181 --> 00:59:21,317 Aye, blacksmith. A scourge on the dog. 991 00:59:23,019 --> 00:59:25,021 Well, now, uh... ( clears throat ) 992 00:59:25,055 --> 00:59:27,623 perhaps we ought to think this over in the cool of the evening. 993 00:59:27,657 --> 00:59:30,593 We don't wanna be too hasty about these things. 994 00:59:30,626 --> 00:59:32,462 - What sayest thou? - No offense, friend. 995 00:59:32,495 --> 00:59:34,197 I just don't want you to do something 996 00:59:34,230 --> 00:59:36,266 - that we'll both regret. - What wouldst suggest? 997 00:59:36,299 --> 00:59:38,201 There are two sides to every question. 998 00:59:38,234 --> 00:59:41,237 I suggest you sit down with this fella and try and talk it over. 999 00:59:41,271 --> 00:59:43,339 They tell me he's a fine boy. 1000 00:59:43,373 --> 00:59:45,641 A message for thee, sire. 'Tis from the Lady Alisande. 1001 00:59:45,675 --> 00:59:48,644 - It must be for you, friend. - Oh, no, Sir Lancelot. 1002 00:59:48,678 --> 00:59:50,480 'Tis for Sir Boss here. 1003 00:59:50,513 --> 00:59:51,614 ( crash ) 1004 00:59:56,019 --> 00:59:57,153 Sir Boss. 1005 01:00:00,556 --> 01:00:03,326 "Beware. Lancelot cometh." 1006 01:00:03,359 --> 01:00:05,661 And here you are. 1007 01:00:05,695 --> 01:00:07,998 If you'll excuse me, I have a couple irons in the fire. 1008 01:00:08,031 --> 01:00:10,433 Wait! I hurl the gauntlet in thy face. 1009 01:00:13,469 --> 01:00:14,469 Good day, sire. 1010 01:00:17,740 --> 01:00:19,142 Good day. 1011 01:00:24,380 --> 01:00:26,349 Clarence, are you there? 1012 01:00:26,382 --> 01:00:27,450 ( armor squeals ) 1013 01:00:29,719 --> 01:00:33,523 Aye. The die is cast. 1014 01:00:33,556 --> 01:00:36,592 Tomorrow you joust with Sir Lancelot. 1015 01:00:36,626 --> 01:00:38,328 And the one who lives shall become 1016 01:00:38,361 --> 01:00:41,464 the betrothed of Lady Alisande. 1017 01:00:41,497 --> 01:00:43,533 I don't like the odds. 1018 01:00:45,068 --> 01:00:48,271 ( crowd cheering ) 1019 01:00:48,304 --> 01:00:51,341 ♪ 1020 01:00:56,312 --> 01:01:00,450 ♪ 1021 01:01:08,791 --> 01:01:11,727 All right, we're here, Merlin. Show us some blood. 1022 01:01:11,761 --> 01:01:14,730 Aye, blood. Sir Boss's blood. 1023 01:01:14,764 --> 01:01:16,466 Anybody's blood. 1024 01:01:16,499 --> 01:01:18,634 I will hasten the proceedings, my liege. 1025 01:01:26,342 --> 01:01:28,311 Fear not, my friend. 1026 01:01:28,344 --> 01:01:31,747 I have cast a magic spell upon thy evil opponent. 1027 01:01:31,781 --> 01:01:33,449 I thank thee, Merlin. 1028 01:01:33,483 --> 01:01:36,286 I have no need for casting of spells. 1029 01:01:47,597 --> 01:01:49,499 Be of good cheer, sire. 1030 01:01:49,532 --> 01:01:52,135 - Perhaps couldst perform a miracle. - Afraid not. 1031 01:01:52,168 --> 01:01:54,170 With all this stuff on, it slows up my thinking. 1032 01:01:54,204 --> 01:01:56,439 - ( fanfare plays ) - What's that? 1033 01:01:56,472 --> 01:01:59,809 'Tis just a minor scuffle between two hot-blooded youths. 1034 01:01:59,842 --> 01:02:01,711 Sir Gareth and Sir Persant of Wales. 1035 01:02:01,744 --> 01:02:03,546 Oh. A preliminary, huh? 1036 01:02:06,749 --> 01:02:10,453 ( fanfare plays ) 1037 01:02:10,486 --> 01:02:13,423 ♪ 1038 01:02:22,532 --> 01:02:25,168 ( fanfare plays ) 1039 01:02:30,140 --> 01:02:31,474 ( crash ) 1040 01:02:31,507 --> 01:02:32,742 What's going on? 1041 01:02:32,775 --> 01:02:35,077 They gatherth up Sir Persant, sire. 1042 01:02:40,583 --> 01:02:42,385 ( groans ) 1043 01:02:42,418 --> 01:02:43,653 That's tough luck, old boy. 1044 01:02:46,856 --> 01:02:48,391 But, sire, this man is the winner. 1045 01:02:50,860 --> 01:02:51,861 Steady, sire. 1046 01:03:00,170 --> 01:03:02,672 Have confidence, milord. Have courage. 1047 01:03:02,705 --> 01:03:04,674 Oh, Clarence, what a fella will do for a girl. 1048 01:03:04,707 --> 01:03:06,709 If it wasn't for Sandy, I'd be on my way 1049 01:03:06,742 --> 01:03:07,843 to Connecticut right now. 1050 01:03:39,609 --> 01:03:41,877 Another rope, serfs. 1051 01:03:41,911 --> 01:03:44,547 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I can't handle this. 1052 01:03:44,580 --> 01:03:46,849 This is awful. Let's see. 1053 01:03:46,882 --> 01:03:48,918 If I don't go through with it, I'm a coward, huh? 1054 01:03:48,951 --> 01:03:51,221 If I do go through with it, I'm a dead hero. 1055 01:03:51,254 --> 01:03:52,622 Isn't there something in between, 1056 01:03:52,655 --> 01:03:54,390 - something conservative? - Nay, sire. 1057 01:03:54,424 --> 01:03:55,625 ( horse whinnies ) 1058 01:03:57,827 --> 01:03:59,729 - Tex! - Tex, milord? 1059 01:03:59,762 --> 01:04:01,664 Looketh, get to the king as fast as you can 1060 01:04:01,697 --> 01:04:03,342 and tell him I gotta have a ten-minute postponement. 1061 01:04:03,366 --> 01:04:04,967 Tell him I've gone for a mustard plaster. 1062 01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,745 - Tell him anything, but hurry up. - Aye, sire. 1063 01:04:06,769 --> 01:04:08,438 Oh-ho, you Tex. 1064 01:04:21,917 --> 01:04:24,554 But he hath no armor, my liege. 1065 01:04:24,587 --> 01:04:25,988 Well, it's not my fault. 1066 01:04:26,021 --> 01:04:28,190 ( crowd cheering ) 1067 01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:40,236 What manner of lunacy is this? 1068 01:04:40,270 --> 01:04:42,772 No lunacy at all, friend. 1069 01:04:42,805 --> 01:04:45,441 Your Majesty, is there anything in the book of rules 1070 01:04:45,475 --> 01:04:47,643 which says that I have to do my scuffling 1071 01:04:47,677 --> 01:04:49,211 in all that scrap iron? 1072 01:04:52,582 --> 01:04:54,950 In truth, there is nothing which so specifies. 1073 01:04:54,984 --> 01:04:58,254 Why don't we get started? 1074 01:04:58,288 --> 01:05:01,524 On with the-- ( sneezes ) 1075 01:05:01,557 --> 01:05:03,459 On with the joust. 1076 01:05:03,493 --> 01:05:04,794 On with the joust. 1077 01:05:04,827 --> 01:05:06,496 Man 1: On with the joust! 1078 01:05:06,529 --> 01:05:07,663 Man 2: On with the joust! 1079 01:05:07,697 --> 01:05:09,565 ( fanfare plays ) 1080 01:05:09,599 --> 01:05:12,535 ♪ 1081 01:05:27,950 --> 01:05:29,385 ( laughter ) 1082 01:05:34,857 --> 01:05:36,592 I was there. Where were you? 1083 01:05:50,406 --> 01:05:54,344 ( laughter ) 1084 01:06:13,929 --> 01:06:17,467 ( laughter ) 1085 01:06:25,140 --> 01:06:26,842 ( laughter ) 1086 01:07:18,127 --> 01:07:20,029 Get set for a fast turn, boy. 1087 01:07:30,906 --> 01:07:33,409 Come on, boy. Let's trample him. 1088 01:07:49,659 --> 01:07:51,661 ( laughs ) 1089 01:07:55,665 --> 01:08:00,503 ( crowd cheering ) 1090 01:08:00,536 --> 01:08:06,976 ( laughter ) 1091 01:08:16,919 --> 01:08:18,888 ( laughs ) 1092 01:08:23,626 --> 01:08:25,595 A neat trick, Sir Boss. 1093 01:08:25,628 --> 01:08:27,597 Thou hast not only won the fair maiden, 1094 01:08:27,630 --> 01:08:30,099 but given me the merriest afternoon I've had in years. 1095 01:08:30,132 --> 01:08:32,835 ( sneezes ) In years. 1096 01:08:32,868 --> 01:08:35,838 Thank you, sire. 1097 01:08:35,871 --> 01:08:36,839 You proud, honey? 1098 01:08:36,872 --> 01:08:38,808 Proud? 1099 01:08:38,841 --> 01:08:40,743 Proud of my part in this unseemly spectacle? 1100 01:08:40,776 --> 01:08:42,612 Oh, after all-- 1101 01:08:42,645 --> 01:08:44,690 Proud that thou hast made a fool out of such a noble gentleman? 1102 01:08:44,714 --> 01:08:47,249 Well, I won, didn't I? What do you want me to do? 1103 01:08:47,282 --> 01:08:49,218 I want you to apologize to Sir Lancelot. 1104 01:08:49,251 --> 01:08:50,720 - Apologize? - Yes. 1105 01:08:50,753 --> 01:08:52,755 - For what? - For insulting him. 1106 01:08:52,788 --> 01:08:54,866 What do you expect me to do, go out there and be polite? 1107 01:08:54,890 --> 01:08:56,492 Get killed like a gentleman? 1108 01:08:56,526 --> 01:08:58,127 In truth, thou art no gentleman. 1109 01:08:58,160 --> 01:08:59,529 Wait a minute. Where are you going? 1110 01:08:59,562 --> 01:09:01,063 I need to comfort Sir Lancelot. 1111 01:09:02,998 --> 01:09:05,935 Well, after all, sire, it's just the rules-- 1112 01:09:05,968 --> 01:09:08,604 Hast thou not learned there are no rules 1113 01:09:08,638 --> 01:09:10,272 where women are concerned? 1114 01:09:10,305 --> 01:09:13,876 Here, take this pill. It will ease thy gripe. 1115 01:09:16,546 --> 01:09:18,648 ( hammer banging ) 1116 01:09:27,957 --> 01:09:29,592 Not too close, fellas. 1117 01:09:29,625 --> 01:09:31,561 Pray, sire, what art thou contriving? 1118 01:09:31,594 --> 01:09:35,698 I'm just trying to keep busy, keep out of trouble. 1119 01:09:35,731 --> 01:09:37,933 I think I'll let you fellas in on a little secret. 1120 01:09:37,967 --> 01:09:41,170 See this gadget here? That's a pistol. 1121 01:09:41,203 --> 01:09:44,173 And these little gimmicks are bullets. 1122 01:09:44,206 --> 01:09:45,908 Stand clear. Stay right there. 1123 01:09:45,941 --> 01:09:47,710 I'll show you how it works. 1124 01:09:47,743 --> 01:09:50,713 Suppose you're out in the woods late one night 1125 01:09:50,746 --> 01:09:53,148 and a big old wolf all of a sudden pops up in front of you. 1126 01:09:53,182 --> 01:09:55,317 You wouldn't be scared, would ya? 1127 01:09:55,350 --> 01:09:58,053 - Oh, no, you wouldn't. - Not even a little, sire? 1128 01:09:58,087 --> 01:10:00,723 No, sir, because you got your trusty pistol with you. 1129 01:10:00,756 --> 01:10:02,992 All you do is just pull it up like that, 1130 01:10:03,025 --> 01:10:05,127 pull back that hammer like that, 1131 01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:06,662 get all set, aim... 1132 01:10:12,802 --> 01:10:14,169 Where'd everybody go? 1133 01:10:16,739 --> 01:10:18,149 It's all right, fellas. You can come out now. 1134 01:10:18,173 --> 01:10:19,609 The big bad wolf is dead. 1135 01:10:25,815 --> 01:10:27,917 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. 1136 01:10:27,950 --> 01:10:29,952 That's just a sample of what's comin', fellas. 1137 01:10:29,985 --> 01:10:32,263 The world is gonna be chock-full of miracles, useful miracles, 1138 01:10:32,287 --> 01:10:35,224 like the printing press, the sewing machine, bathtubs. 1139 01:10:35,257 --> 01:10:36,959 - Bathtubs? - Yeah. 1140 01:10:36,992 --> 01:10:40,029 You mean we're all gonna have to take baths? 1141 01:10:40,062 --> 01:10:41,363 Every single Sat-- I mean, 1142 01:10:41,396 --> 01:10:43,041 ( posh accent ) every single Saturday, yes. 1143 01:10:43,065 --> 01:10:45,234 Greetings, milord. 1144 01:10:45,267 --> 01:10:47,837 Hi, Saggy. Well, that's all, fellas. 1145 01:10:47,870 --> 01:10:50,139 So long. See you tomorrow. Got big business here. 1146 01:10:50,172 --> 01:10:52,007 - Good-bye. - See you tomorrow, sire. 1147 01:10:52,041 --> 01:10:55,144 Yeah. She won't see me? 1148 01:10:55,177 --> 01:10:56,979 Rumor hath it that Lancelot and Lady Alisande 1149 01:10:57,012 --> 01:10:58,748 are to be wed within the week. 1150 01:10:58,781 --> 01:11:01,617 But she's not in love with him. She told me so herself. 1151 01:11:01,651 --> 01:11:04,787 Female paradox. 1152 01:11:04,820 --> 01:11:06,789 Well, this changes things. 1153 01:11:06,822 --> 01:11:08,991 Clarence, there's an old saying in Connecticut. 1154 01:11:09,024 --> 01:11:11,093 When you got to git, git. 1155 01:11:11,126 --> 01:11:12,294 Thou wouldst leave Britain? 1156 01:11:12,327 --> 01:11:13,929 There's nothing to hold me here now. 1157 01:11:13,963 --> 01:11:17,299 - Greetings, O Mighty Sorcerer. - Hello. 1158 01:11:17,332 --> 01:11:20,269 What's on your mind, honey? Come in. 1159 01:11:20,302 --> 01:11:23,873 'Tis... 'tis about my father. 1160 01:11:23,906 --> 01:11:26,942 - What about your father? - He is sick unto death, sire. 1161 01:11:26,976 --> 01:11:30,279 For three days now he has lain abed growing weaker and weaker. 1162 01:11:30,312 --> 01:11:32,782 Now, now, has the doctor been to see your father? 1163 01:11:32,815 --> 01:11:35,885 No, sire. No one. 1164 01:11:35,918 --> 01:11:37,887 They say he hath the plague. 1165 01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:40,690 The plague? Be gone, child! 1166 01:11:40,723 --> 01:11:42,191 Clarence! 1167 01:11:42,224 --> 01:11:44,359 Please, Sir Boss. Thou canst help him. 1168 01:11:44,393 --> 01:11:47,863 Thou art a mighty wizard. We will pay you these coins. 1169 01:11:47,897 --> 01:11:49,440 And our pigs, we have two of them, and a goat-- 1170 01:11:49,464 --> 01:11:53,368 I'm afraid you've got me wrong. I'm not, uh... 1171 01:11:53,402 --> 01:11:54,904 Where do you live, honey? 1172 01:11:54,937 --> 01:11:56,839 - But, sire. - Wait here for me. 1173 01:11:56,872 --> 01:11:58,440 And don't be playing around with that. 1174 01:11:58,473 --> 01:12:00,843 - You might get hurt. - With this toy, sire? 1175 01:12:00,876 --> 01:12:03,012 Put it down! Come along, honey. 1176 01:12:07,950 --> 01:12:10,886 Ridiculous that a mere trinket should harm a grown man. 1177 01:13:00,870 --> 01:13:04,774 ( grunting ) 1178 01:13:12,181 --> 01:13:14,750 Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. 1179 01:13:16,318 --> 01:13:19,755 ♪ 1180 01:13:42,177 --> 01:13:44,113 Who is it? 1181 01:13:44,146 --> 01:13:45,314 A friend, ma'am. 1182 01:13:45,347 --> 01:13:48,517 A friend? We have no friends. 1183 01:13:48,550 --> 01:13:50,519 Did you see the sign outside? 1184 01:13:50,552 --> 01:13:53,455 None may enter this house of pestilence. 1185 01:13:53,488 --> 01:13:57,126 Fly, stranger, while there is yet time. 1186 01:13:57,159 --> 01:13:59,239 If it's all right with you, ma'am, I'll stay a while. 1187 01:14:02,898 --> 01:14:04,967 Stay then, and bless you. 1188 01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:07,102 - Your husband? - My husband. 1189 01:14:07,136 --> 01:14:09,939 Well, I'll be careful. I'll try not to wake him. 1190 01:14:09,972 --> 01:14:12,441 That you will not, for he is dead. 1191 01:14:12,474 --> 01:14:16,145 ( crying ) 1192 01:14:16,178 --> 01:14:19,815 Cry if you will, child. 1193 01:14:19,849 --> 01:14:23,352 A month ago this was our family... 1194 01:14:23,385 --> 01:14:27,056 a fine husband, two strapping sons, 1195 01:14:27,089 --> 01:14:29,058 a daughter. 1196 01:14:29,091 --> 01:14:30,459 Now we're alone. 1197 01:14:32,094 --> 01:14:34,363 Your sons, are they dead too? 1198 01:14:34,396 --> 01:14:37,399 Not dead, but better dead. 1199 01:14:37,432 --> 01:14:39,969 Years ago, the lord of the manor 1200 01:14:40,002 --> 01:14:42,504 planted certain fruit trees on our farm. 1201 01:14:42,537 --> 01:14:43,537 'Twas his right. 1202 01:14:44,974 --> 01:14:46,175 His right? 1203 01:14:46,208 --> 01:14:48,210 'Tis the law, sire. 1204 01:14:48,243 --> 01:14:51,613 Some time ago, three of those trees were found hewn down. 1205 01:14:51,646 --> 01:14:56,151 Our sons ran frightened to report the crime. 1206 01:14:56,185 --> 01:14:59,088 And although they themselves were innocent, 1207 01:14:59,121 --> 01:15:01,957 they were accused of the crime. 1208 01:15:01,991 --> 01:15:04,026 Well, in His Lordship's dungeon, 1209 01:15:04,059 --> 01:15:06,028 there they lie. 1210 01:15:06,061 --> 01:15:08,530 And there they shall lie and rot till they confess. 1211 01:15:10,199 --> 01:15:11,400 But such things can't be. 1212 01:15:11,433 --> 01:15:13,402 His Majesty wouldn't allow it. 1213 01:15:13,435 --> 01:15:16,271 Truly thou art a stranger. 1214 01:15:16,305 --> 01:15:19,108 ( crying ) 1215 01:15:19,141 --> 01:15:21,376 Cry, child. 1216 01:15:21,410 --> 01:15:23,078 Would I could cry with you. 1217 01:15:31,153 --> 01:15:34,489 - It's a masterpiece. - A masterpiece! 1218 01:15:34,523 --> 01:15:36,491 Needs a touch of ermine. 1219 01:15:36,525 --> 01:15:39,428 Ermine and velvet? 'Twould clash, sire. 1220 01:15:39,461 --> 01:15:41,496 They wouldn't be happy together. 1221 01:15:41,530 --> 01:15:43,298 I want ermine! 1222 01:15:43,332 --> 01:15:46,401 - Oh, yes, sire. - Yes, certainly, sire. 1223 01:15:46,435 --> 01:15:48,503 - Take it off. - Yes, sire. Certainly. 1224 01:15:48,537 --> 01:15:50,572 Ermine. You shall have ermine! 1225 01:15:50,605 --> 01:15:51,606 ( grunts ) 1226 01:15:58,080 --> 01:15:59,381 More hot water! 1227 01:15:59,414 --> 01:16:01,316 Man 1: More hot water! 1228 01:16:01,350 --> 01:16:03,085 Man 2: More hot water! 1229 01:16:03,118 --> 01:16:05,187 - Hot water. - Hot water! 1230 01:16:05,220 --> 01:16:06,255 Man 1: Hot water! 1231 01:16:06,288 --> 01:16:07,389 Man 2: Hot water! 1232 01:16:15,630 --> 01:16:18,267 Blasted incompetents can't even keep the water hot. 1233 01:16:18,300 --> 01:16:20,002 I don't how I've survived all these years. 1234 01:16:20,035 --> 01:16:21,536 Things are bad all over. 1235 01:16:21,570 --> 01:16:23,481 Why don't you get wise to yourself, Your Majesty, 1236 01:16:23,505 --> 01:16:25,107 and get acquainted with your people? 1237 01:16:25,140 --> 01:16:28,377 My people? But I see my people every day. 1238 01:16:28,410 --> 01:16:30,512 I don't mean these musical comedy personalities 1239 01:16:30,545 --> 01:16:32,481 around the palace, I mean your subjects. 1240 01:16:32,514 --> 01:16:35,350 How do you suppose they feel about you? 1241 01:16:35,384 --> 01:16:37,052 My boy, they love me. 1242 01:16:37,086 --> 01:16:39,288 On the morrow, I journey to London. 1243 01:16:39,321 --> 01:16:41,390 All along the way, my subjects will be bowing 1244 01:16:41,423 --> 01:16:44,026 and smiling and doffing their hats. 1245 01:16:44,059 --> 01:16:45,560 Did you ever happen to think 1246 01:16:45,594 --> 01:16:48,230 that underneath those smiles, they may be hating you? 1247 01:16:48,263 --> 01:16:50,099 Hating me? 1248 01:16:50,132 --> 01:16:51,633 That's the word. 1249 01:16:51,666 --> 01:16:55,670 But why? I'm a good king. 1250 01:16:55,704 --> 01:16:57,639 Good King Arthur they call me. 1251 01:16:57,672 --> 01:16:59,508 My good king, it may surprise you to learn 1252 01:16:59,541 --> 01:17:02,144 that this country is crawling with people who hate you. 1253 01:17:02,177 --> 01:17:03,979 Sick people, hungry people, 1254 01:17:04,013 --> 01:17:05,723 people who no longer hate you because they're dead. 1255 01:17:05,747 --> 01:17:07,292 - Why, sire, I could tell you-- - Cease! 1256 01:17:07,316 --> 01:17:10,719 ( sneezes ) Oh, heavens, I am sick. 1257 01:17:10,752 --> 01:17:14,556 ( groans ) And it's all your fault. 1258 01:17:14,589 --> 01:17:16,625 Young man, I could have you hanged for this. 1259 01:17:16,658 --> 01:17:19,995 But you won't 'cause I have a feeling you believe me. 1260 01:17:20,029 --> 01:17:22,364 All these lies about my subjects? 1261 01:17:22,397 --> 01:17:25,000 Are they lies? 1262 01:17:25,034 --> 01:17:27,002 I don't know. I don't know. 1263 01:17:27,036 --> 01:17:29,104 What with my ill health, one cold after another, 1264 01:17:29,138 --> 01:17:30,605 how could I know anything? 1265 01:17:30,639 --> 01:17:33,075 If you don't know, sire, I suggest you find out. 1266 01:17:33,108 --> 01:17:34,543 Find out? 1267 01:17:34,576 --> 01:17:37,146 Yes, we could make a trip around the country. 1268 01:17:37,179 --> 01:17:39,014 Might open your eyes a little. 1269 01:17:39,048 --> 01:17:41,350 But how 'bout my cold? 1270 01:17:41,383 --> 01:17:44,286 This could easily help your cold and your country. 1271 01:17:44,319 --> 01:17:46,021 A miracle? 1272 01:17:46,055 --> 01:17:47,622 It could well be, Your Majesty. 1273 01:17:50,059 --> 01:17:52,161 How worketh we this miracle? 1274 01:17:52,194 --> 01:17:53,328 Well... 1275 01:17:57,732 --> 01:17:59,601 How does it strike you, sire? 1276 01:17:59,634 --> 01:18:03,172 Well, as thou sayest, it's a... 1277 01:18:03,205 --> 01:18:04,406 cinch? 1278 01:18:04,439 --> 01:18:05,540 Cinch. 1279 01:18:05,574 --> 01:18:07,042 Cinch. 1280 01:18:07,076 --> 01:18:09,611 I postpone my official visit to London. 1281 01:18:09,644 --> 01:18:11,289 Make the trip disguised as a humble freeman 1282 01:18:11,313 --> 01:18:13,248 with Clarence and me along for good luck. 1283 01:18:13,282 --> 01:18:15,184 But dost think that any humble garb 1284 01:18:15,217 --> 01:18:18,087 can conceal evidence of our royal blood? 1285 01:18:18,120 --> 01:18:20,789 It'll take a bit of doing, but we'll handle it. 1286 01:18:20,822 --> 01:18:22,124 Till dawn, sire? 1287 01:18:22,157 --> 01:18:23,192 Till dawn. 1288 01:18:34,703 --> 01:18:37,272 ( light music playing ) 1289 01:18:43,545 --> 01:18:47,649 I'll only be a minute, honey. I just wanted to say so long. 1290 01:18:47,682 --> 01:18:50,752 - So long? - Good-bye. 1291 01:18:50,785 --> 01:18:52,621 Thou art leaving? 1292 01:18:52,654 --> 01:18:53,822 In a few hours. 1293 01:18:56,225 --> 01:18:57,459 I see. 1294 01:18:57,492 --> 01:18:59,161 But I had to tell you this, honey. 1295 01:18:59,194 --> 01:19:00,634 I think you're doing the right thing. 1296 01:19:00,662 --> 01:19:02,831 About Sir Lancelot, I mean. 1297 01:19:02,864 --> 01:19:05,500 Why, marrying me would be a national disaster. 1298 01:19:05,534 --> 01:19:08,103 Disaster, sire? 1299 01:19:08,137 --> 01:19:12,141 This knight business, I'd-- I'd be no good at it. 1300 01:19:12,174 --> 01:19:13,618 Instead of getting on a horse and going out 1301 01:19:13,642 --> 01:19:16,545 and polishing off a few ogres or dragons, 1302 01:19:16,578 --> 01:19:18,613 I'd be hanging around the house watering the lawn 1303 01:19:18,647 --> 01:19:20,615 or fixing the fence or something. 1304 01:19:20,649 --> 01:19:22,217 And our kids would grow up, 1305 01:19:22,251 --> 01:19:24,119 they'd think their daddy was a sissy. 1306 01:19:24,153 --> 01:19:26,221 because we'd be the only family in the neighborhood 1307 01:19:26,255 --> 01:19:27,935 without a dragon's head over the fireplace. 1308 01:19:29,691 --> 01:19:32,127 It's better this way, honey. 1309 01:19:32,161 --> 01:19:34,463 You marry Sir Lancelot, settle down, 1310 01:19:34,496 --> 01:19:36,598 raise a lot of little lords and ladies. 1311 01:19:39,601 --> 01:19:41,203 I hope you live happily ever after. 1312 01:19:45,540 --> 01:19:46,808 Good-bye, Sandy. 1313 01:19:48,710 --> 01:19:50,312 ( voice breaks ) So long, Hank. 1314 01:19:50,345 --> 01:19:53,415 ♪ 1315 01:19:53,448 --> 01:19:55,350 ( sniffles ) 1316 01:20:08,863 --> 01:20:10,775 What thinkest thou, my boy? Do I look like a commoner? 1317 01:20:10,799 --> 01:20:12,934 Well... 1318 01:20:12,967 --> 01:20:14,503 Well, what about this? 1319 01:20:16,305 --> 01:20:18,540 Yes, that helps. Mm-hmm, better. 1320 01:20:18,573 --> 01:20:20,909 And this? 1321 01:20:20,942 --> 01:20:22,177 Here. May I? 1322 01:20:24,979 --> 01:20:26,648 - Thank you. - Oh, yes, much better. 1323 01:20:28,683 --> 01:20:29,884 Ah. 1324 01:20:33,222 --> 01:20:35,457 I say, we are not alone. 1325 01:20:35,490 --> 01:20:37,559 These clothes seem to be inhabited. 1326 01:20:37,592 --> 01:20:39,528 - Perfect. - Perfect. 1327 01:20:45,567 --> 01:20:46,568 Shall we then? 1328 01:20:50,004 --> 01:20:53,575 ♪ 1329 01:20:54,676 --> 01:20:55,710 Psst. 1330 01:21:27,909 --> 01:21:30,479 Logris, thy men are ready? 1331 01:21:30,512 --> 01:21:31,913 I could start at once, milady. 1332 01:21:31,946 --> 01:21:34,516 Slowly, slowly. 1333 01:21:34,549 --> 01:21:38,287 We'll let our birds fly a while before we spring the trap. 1334 01:21:41,290 --> 01:21:45,394 ♪ La, la, la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1335 01:21:45,427 --> 01:21:49,364 ♪ La, la, la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1336 01:21:51,433 --> 01:21:53,635 ♪ We're busy doing nothing ♪ 1337 01:21:53,668 --> 01:21:55,613 - ♪ Working the whole day through ♪ - ( whistles sharply ) 1338 01:21:55,637 --> 01:21:59,374 ♪ Trying to find lots of things not to do ♪ 1339 01:21:59,408 --> 01:22:01,543 ♪ We're busy going nowhere 1340 01:22:01,576 --> 01:22:03,812 ♪ Isn't it just a crime? 1341 01:22:03,845 --> 01:22:06,915 ♪ We'd like to be unhappy 1342 01:22:06,948 --> 01:22:09,651 ♪ But we never do have the time ♪ 1343 01:22:13,555 --> 01:22:17,526 ♪ I have to watch the river to see that it doesn't stop ♪ 1344 01:22:17,559 --> 01:22:21,062 ♪ And stick around the rosebuds so they'll know when to pop ♪ 1345 01:22:21,095 --> 01:22:23,765 ♪ Better keep the crickets cheerful ♪ 1346 01:22:23,798 --> 01:22:25,834 ♪ They're really a solemn bunch ♪ 1347 01:22:25,867 --> 01:22:27,836 ♪ Hustle 1348 01:22:27,869 --> 01:22:30,439 ♪ Bustle 1349 01:22:30,472 --> 01:22:32,707 - ♪ And only an hour for lunch - ( whistles sharply ) 1350 01:22:32,741 --> 01:22:36,745 ♪ La, la, la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1351 01:22:36,778 --> 01:22:40,415 ♪ La, la, la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1352 01:22:45,787 --> 01:22:48,657 Uh, shall we proceed? 1353 01:22:48,690 --> 01:22:50,759 ( softly ) ♪ We're busy doing nothing 1354 01:22:50,792 --> 01:22:52,861 ♪ Working the whole day through ♪ 1355 01:22:52,894 --> 01:22:57,098 ♪ Trying to find lots of things not to do ♪ 1356 01:22:57,131 --> 01:22:59,434 ( loudly ) ♪ We're busy going nowhere 1357 01:22:59,468 --> 01:23:01,570 ♪ Isn't it just a crime? 1358 01:23:01,603 --> 01:23:05,006 ♪ We'd like to be unhappy 1359 01:23:05,039 --> 01:23:07,909 ♪ But we never do have the time ♪ 1360 01:23:10,845 --> 01:23:13,648 ♪ I have to wake the sun up 1361 01:23:13,682 --> 01:23:15,550 ♪ He's liable to sleep all day ♪ 1362 01:23:15,584 --> 01:23:17,952 - True. - ♪ And then inspect the rainbows ♪ 1363 01:23:17,986 --> 01:23:19,954 ♪ So they'll be bright and gay ♪ 1364 01:23:19,988 --> 01:23:22,824 ♪ You must rehearse the songbirds ♪ 1365 01:23:22,857 --> 01:23:27,362 ♪ To see that they sing in key ♪ 1366 01:23:27,396 --> 01:23:28,497 If you insist. 1367 01:23:28,530 --> 01:23:30,965 I dost. I dost. 1368 01:23:30,999 --> 01:23:33,067 ♪ Hustle 1369 01:23:33,101 --> 01:23:35,837 ♪ Bustle 1370 01:23:35,870 --> 01:23:37,772 ♪ And never a moment free 1371 01:23:39,173 --> 01:23:42,076 ( all humming and whistling ) 1372 01:23:46,615 --> 01:23:48,450 ( burbling ) 1373 01:23:48,483 --> 01:23:51,553 Whoop! Drop that bone. 1374 01:23:51,586 --> 01:23:53,888 ♪ We're busy doing nothing 1375 01:23:53,922 --> 01:23:55,990 ♪ Working the whole day through ♪ 1376 01:23:56,024 --> 01:23:59,928 ♪ Trying to find lots of things not to do ♪ 1377 01:23:59,961 --> 01:24:02,163 ♪ We're busy going nowhere 1378 01:24:02,196 --> 01:24:03,932 ♪ Isn't it just a crime? 1379 01:24:03,965 --> 01:24:07,101 ♪ We'd like to be unhappy 1380 01:24:07,135 --> 01:24:10,138 ♪ But we never do have the time ♪ 1381 01:24:10,171 --> 01:24:12,441 Going to the game? 1382 01:24:12,474 --> 01:24:14,709 ♪ I have to meet a turtle 1383 01:24:14,743 --> 01:24:16,678 ♪ I'm teaching him how to swim ♪ 1384 01:24:16,711 --> 01:24:18,813 ♪ Then I have to shine the dewdrops ♪ 1385 01:24:18,847 --> 01:24:20,949 ♪ You know, they're looking rather dim ♪ No. 1386 01:24:20,982 --> 01:24:25,119 ♪ I told my friend the robin I'd buy him a brand-new vest ♪ 1387 01:24:25,153 --> 01:24:27,188 ♪ Hustle bustle 1388 01:24:27,221 --> 01:24:29,123 ( all whistle ) 1389 01:24:29,157 --> 01:24:31,059 ♪ I wish I could take a rest ♪ 1390 01:24:31,092 --> 01:24:34,529 ♪ 1391 01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:42,471 Trying to find lots of things not to do. 1392 01:24:44,873 --> 01:24:46,775 Isn't it just a crime? 1393 01:24:46,808 --> 01:24:48,877 ♪ We'd better make it snappy ♪ 1394 01:24:48,910 --> 01:24:51,446 ♪ There's another hill to climb ♪ 1395 01:24:51,480 --> 01:24:56,818 ♪ We'd like to be unhappy but 1396 01:24:56,851 --> 01:24:58,887 - ♪ We never do have - ♪ We never do have 1397 01:24:58,920 --> 01:25:01,022 ♪ We never do, never do, never do, never do ♪ 1398 01:25:01,055 --> 01:25:05,994 ♪ Never do have the ti-i-me ♪ 1399 01:25:06,027 --> 01:25:12,000 ♪ Never do have the ti-i-i-me ♪ 1400 01:25:12,033 --> 01:25:13,167 ( sheep bleat ) 1401 01:25:22,176 --> 01:25:24,078 What makest thou of this, my friends? 1402 01:25:24,112 --> 01:25:25,814 ( laughs ) Oh, that's a beaut. 1403 01:25:25,847 --> 01:25:28,850 Methinks 'tis from too much walking, Your Majesty. 1404 01:25:28,883 --> 01:25:30,952 Dost realize, my friend, 1405 01:25:30,985 --> 01:25:33,988 that I am undoubtedly the first of royal blood 1406 01:25:34,022 --> 01:25:36,691 to possess this strange affliction? 1407 01:25:36,725 --> 01:25:39,093 Future sufferers of this malady shall know it 1408 01:25:39,127 --> 01:25:41,262 by the name King Arthur's Foot. 1409 01:25:41,295 --> 01:25:43,832 ( laughs ) I don't think so, sire. 1410 01:25:43,865 --> 01:25:46,635 I think it's more likely to be known as a bunion. 1411 01:25:46,668 --> 01:25:48,503 What thinkest thou, Your Majesty? 1412 01:25:48,537 --> 01:25:50,905 Has it been worth it, seeing your people as they are? 1413 01:25:50,939 --> 01:25:52,707 In truth, I know not. 1414 01:25:52,741 --> 01:25:55,043 Their lot is indeed a hard one, but it is a hard world. 1415 01:25:55,076 --> 01:25:57,612 You've seen hunger and misery. What more do you want? 1416 01:25:57,646 --> 01:25:59,080 I want a bath. 1417 01:25:59,113 --> 01:26:00,949 You know, we took this trip to prove to you 1418 01:26:00,982 --> 01:26:02,884 that there is want and oppression-- 1419 01:26:02,917 --> 01:26:05,086 Sir Boss! Your Majesty! 1420 01:26:05,119 --> 01:26:07,155 Your Majesty, Sir Boss, rise quickly. 1421 01:26:07,188 --> 01:26:08,857 - People of quality approach. - Where? 1422 01:26:08,890 --> 01:26:10,124 Over yon hill. 1423 01:26:12,293 --> 01:26:14,162 Rise quickly, sire! They come closer! 1424 01:26:14,195 --> 01:26:16,097 Let 'em come. I've got a "binion." 1425 01:26:16,130 --> 01:26:19,133 No, no, it's a bunion. Come on. You're not king now, you know. 1426 01:26:19,167 --> 01:26:21,269 You're just one of the fellas. Come along. 1427 01:26:40,655 --> 01:26:43,291 Look down, sire, as becomes a humble freeman. 1428 01:26:43,324 --> 01:26:45,660 I say, that's Bedivere. 1429 01:26:45,694 --> 01:26:47,796 Undoubtedly, he is taking the Lady Bedivere 1430 01:26:47,829 --> 01:26:50,164 to London on a shopping tour. 1431 01:26:50,198 --> 01:26:52,100 That's not the Lady Bedivere. 1432 01:26:52,133 --> 01:26:54,135 ( laughs ) 1433 01:26:54,168 --> 01:26:56,137 Oh, the rogue. 1434 01:26:56,170 --> 01:26:58,239 Halt. 1435 01:26:58,272 --> 01:27:01,009 This'll make a toothsome morsel for the court. 1436 01:27:01,042 --> 01:27:03,277 So thou chooseth not to bow, peasant! 1437 01:27:09,918 --> 01:27:11,853 A reward for thy insolence! 1438 01:27:15,924 --> 01:27:18,927 You need any further proof of injustices, Your Majesty? 1439 01:27:18,960 --> 01:27:21,295 - When reach we London? - On the morrow, sire. 1440 01:27:21,329 --> 01:27:23,865 A village lies ahead where we can bed for the night. 1441 01:27:23,898 --> 01:27:27,769 Good, on the morrow there shall be changes. 1442 01:27:27,802 --> 01:27:30,104 Not a bad idea. Let's get our stuff. 1443 01:27:43,051 --> 01:27:45,854 They lie hidden within, sire. 1444 01:27:45,887 --> 01:27:47,989 - All three asleep? - As babes. 1445 01:27:48,022 --> 01:27:51,860 'Twould be a simple matter to slit their throats. 1446 01:27:51,893 --> 01:27:54,863 There will be no slitting of throats yet. 1447 01:27:54,896 --> 01:27:57,766 I want them alive... now. 1448 01:27:57,799 --> 01:27:58,900 Aye. 1449 01:28:02,203 --> 01:28:03,838 - But, sire-- - Shh! 1450 01:28:03,872 --> 01:28:05,974 Your Majesty, it's Sir Logris and his men. 1451 01:28:06,007 --> 01:28:07,876 - They're gunning for you. - Gunning? 1452 01:28:07,909 --> 01:28:10,178 Shh! Leave out the gunning then. But they're after you. 1453 01:28:10,211 --> 01:28:11,813 We're in trouble up to our necks. 1454 01:28:11,846 --> 01:28:12,847 - Trouble? - Shh! 1455 01:28:12,881 --> 01:28:14,182 - Shh! - Shh! 1456 01:28:19,020 --> 01:28:20,221 Come on. 1457 01:28:44,713 --> 01:28:45,747 Shh. 1458 01:28:54,989 --> 01:28:56,357 Shh! 1459 01:29:05,366 --> 01:29:07,301 - Three men thou sayest? - Aye. 1460 01:29:07,335 --> 01:29:10,238 One broad and strong as an ox 1461 01:29:10,271 --> 01:29:14,075 and the one with an odd foreign manner of speech 1462 01:29:14,108 --> 01:29:18,412 and the one the who said he was King did sneeze. 1463 01:29:18,446 --> 01:29:20,849 The king shall reward thy loyalty. 1464 01:29:20,882 --> 01:29:23,317 By the morrow there may be no king. 1465 01:29:23,351 --> 01:29:26,354 He hath need of friends, milady. 1466 01:29:26,387 --> 01:29:28,990 I thank thee. 1467 01:29:29,023 --> 01:29:31,125 Fetch me such clothes as a boy might wear. 1468 01:29:31,159 --> 01:29:32,794 - But, milady-- - Do as I bid. 1469 01:29:32,827 --> 01:29:34,963 - I journey to London. - Yes, milady. 1470 01:29:42,837 --> 01:29:46,007 Our next offer, three male slaves 1471 01:29:46,040 --> 01:29:47,976 to be sold as a group! 1472 01:29:48,009 --> 01:29:50,945 What is thy bid for this fine specimen? 1473 01:29:50,979 --> 01:29:55,449 A bit soft, perhaps, yet sound of wind and limb. 1474 01:29:55,483 --> 01:29:58,286 - What is thy bid? - Half a crown. 1475 01:29:58,319 --> 01:30:01,189 Half a crown. Will anybody say five shillings? 1476 01:30:01,222 --> 01:30:02,891 - Five shillings? - Five shillings! 1477 01:30:02,924 --> 01:30:04,525 - Who'll make it ten? - Ten shillings. 1478 01:30:04,558 --> 01:30:08,763 Ten shillings I'm bid. Who'll make it one pound? 1479 01:30:08,797 --> 01:30:10,932 One pound. 1480 01:30:10,965 --> 01:30:12,466 One pound! 1481 01:30:12,500 --> 01:30:16,404 And for this handsome specimen... 1482 01:30:16,437 --> 01:30:18,539 ( laughter ) 1483 01:30:18,572 --> 01:30:21,810 ...who only needs good food and hard work 1484 01:30:21,843 --> 01:30:25,279 to be brought to the peak of physical perfection? 1485 01:30:25,313 --> 01:30:26,881 What is thy bid? 1486 01:30:26,915 --> 01:30:29,951 - One farthing. - ( laughter ) 1487 01:30:29,984 --> 01:30:32,220 Make that a pound or I'll have thee boiled in oil! 1488 01:30:32,253 --> 01:30:34,956 ( laughter ) 1489 01:30:34,989 --> 01:30:37,191 Ten pounds for the lot. 1490 01:30:37,225 --> 01:30:39,961 Auctioneer: Ten pounds, sire? 1491 01:30:39,994 --> 01:30:41,062 Ten pounds. 1492 01:30:41,095 --> 01:30:43,297 Remove them to the slave quarters. 1493 01:30:43,331 --> 01:30:47,135 Sold to the gentleman with the beard for ten pounds! 1494 01:30:47,168 --> 01:30:48,837 Here, take 'em away. 1495 01:30:51,339 --> 01:30:56,477 Our next offer is this fine specimen of womanhood. 1496 01:30:56,510 --> 01:31:00,014 Sound of wind and limb, obviously a first-class... 1497 01:31:00,048 --> 01:31:01,482 Look yonder, sire. 1498 01:31:04,452 --> 01:31:06,855 That's Tex. 1499 01:31:06,888 --> 01:31:09,123 Move along. 1500 01:31:09,157 --> 01:31:11,225 That youth, doth he not seem familiar? 1501 01:31:11,259 --> 01:31:13,194 That's no youth, Saggy. 1502 01:31:13,227 --> 01:31:15,272 Auctioneer: Two pounds bid. Who'll make it three pounds? 1503 01:31:15,296 --> 01:31:18,833 Who'll make it three pounds? Do I hear three pounds? 1504 01:31:18,867 --> 01:31:20,835 - Man: Three pounds! - 'Tis I, sire. 1505 01:31:20,869 --> 01:31:22,512 Go back, Sandy. You'll only get in trouble here. 1506 01:31:22,536 --> 01:31:24,372 I'll not go back. I came to help thee. 1507 01:31:24,405 --> 01:31:27,375 - Honey, this is no place for you. - But, Hank-- 1508 01:31:27,408 --> 01:31:30,912 I would add the Lady Alisande to our collection. 1509 01:31:30,945 --> 01:31:33,347 I'm not without friends, Hank. I'll return soon with help. 1510 01:31:33,381 --> 01:31:34,949 Hey, wait a minute. She-- he-- 1511 01:31:34,983 --> 01:31:36,550 - Forward, slaves! - Move on! 1512 01:31:49,630 --> 01:31:52,867 Greetings, O Noble King. 1513 01:31:52,901 --> 01:31:56,604 Oh, do not rise, sire. Nor any of thee. 1514 01:31:56,637 --> 01:31:59,874 ( chuckles ) Perceive this monumental joke. 1515 01:31:59,908 --> 01:32:02,610 My king would see his people as they really are. 1516 01:32:02,643 --> 01:32:06,014 So what am I, his devoted servant, to do? 1517 01:32:06,047 --> 01:32:08,516 Why, help him of course. 1518 01:32:08,549 --> 01:32:11,419 Help him to see the miserable heart of his domain, 1519 01:32:11,452 --> 01:32:14,355 not as a freeman, not as a serf, 1520 01:32:14,388 --> 01:32:16,490 but as a slave. 1521 01:32:16,524 --> 01:32:21,462 Yes, my king shall be a slave and all his friends, too. 1522 01:32:21,495 --> 01:32:23,564 They shall journey to the mines of Devon, 1523 01:32:23,597 --> 01:32:26,367 there to work and rot... 1524 01:32:26,400 --> 01:32:29,603 and eventually to die. 1525 01:32:29,637 --> 01:32:33,041 Sleep well, all of you. You leave on the morrow. 1526 01:32:37,011 --> 01:32:38,346 Nice guy. 1527 01:32:45,586 --> 01:32:47,488 Are you asleep, honey? 1528 01:32:47,521 --> 01:32:50,524 Mm-mm, I cannot sleep 1529 01:32:50,558 --> 01:32:52,526 knowing that tonight is the end of everything. 1530 01:32:52,560 --> 01:32:54,262 ( chuckles ) Oh, no. 1531 01:32:54,295 --> 01:32:56,264 Don't you remember the book and what it says? 1532 01:32:56,297 --> 01:32:58,599 "Love once, but love always and forever." 1533 01:33:02,570 --> 01:33:06,474 ( humming tune ) 1534 01:33:06,507 --> 01:33:08,042 You shouldn't have come here, honey. 1535 01:33:08,076 --> 01:33:09,643 You'd be safe in Camelot. 1536 01:33:09,677 --> 01:33:11,712 But in Camelot, I'd not be content. 1537 01:33:11,745 --> 01:33:13,514 You mean you're content here? 1538 01:33:13,547 --> 01:33:17,285 Whatever happens, we're together. 1539 01:33:17,318 --> 01:33:18,595 You really mean that, don't you, honey? 1540 01:33:18,619 --> 01:33:22,356 Yes, Hank. Now and for always. 1541 01:33:23,491 --> 01:33:26,660 ( hums tune ) 1542 01:33:34,535 --> 01:33:36,637 ♪ Don't you know 1543 01:33:36,670 --> 01:33:39,340 ( hums tune ) 1544 01:33:39,373 --> 01:33:45,346 ♪ Always isn't too much time ♪ 1545 01:33:45,379 --> 01:33:48,382 Oh, that's so true. Don't you ever forget it either. 1546 01:33:48,416 --> 01:33:50,018 I won't, Hank. 1547 01:33:50,051 --> 01:33:51,419 Are you comfortable? 1548 01:33:51,452 --> 01:33:52,620 Mm-hmm. 1549 01:33:58,026 --> 01:34:02,730 ♪ Once and for always 1550 01:34:02,763 --> 01:34:08,402 ♪ Let's say that it's agreed ♪ 1551 01:34:08,436 --> 01:34:12,073 ♪ Wishing days are over 1552 01:34:13,741 --> 01:34:17,045 ♪ This is all we need 1553 01:34:17,078 --> 01:34:20,748 ♪ And tonight 1554 01:34:20,781 --> 01:34:25,519 ♪ We'll notify the stars 1555 01:34:25,553 --> 01:34:28,689 ♪ Above 1556 01:34:28,722 --> 01:34:34,562 ♪ That once and for always 1557 01:34:34,595 --> 01:34:41,535 ♪ And no less than always 1558 01:34:41,569 --> 01:34:45,606 ♪ You and I will be 1559 01:34:45,639 --> 01:34:49,443 ( hums tune ) 1560 01:34:49,477 --> 01:34:54,515 ♪ In love 1561 01:35:07,395 --> 01:35:10,731 ♪ 1562 01:36:00,314 --> 01:36:03,217 ( footsteps approaching ) 1563 01:36:17,698 --> 01:36:20,134 ( gasps ) 1564 01:36:20,168 --> 01:36:21,169 ( grunts ) 1565 01:36:50,731 --> 01:36:52,200 If we get separated, 1566 01:36:52,233 --> 01:36:53,834 get the pistol in the blacksmith shop. 1567 01:36:53,867 --> 01:36:55,703 - Aye, sire. - Come on, honey. 1568 01:36:55,736 --> 01:36:58,706 - Hank. Wait, please. - What? What's that? 1569 01:36:58,739 --> 01:37:00,708 I've a strange foreboding 1570 01:37:00,741 --> 01:37:02,810 after this night I'll not see thee again. 1571 01:37:02,843 --> 01:37:04,845 Oh, don't talk like that. 1572 01:37:04,878 --> 01:37:08,249 You take this, Hank, and whenever you look upon it, 1573 01:37:08,282 --> 01:37:10,318 remember thy love in Camelot. 1574 01:37:10,351 --> 01:37:12,486 - ( Arthur sneezes ) - His Majesty. 1575 01:37:12,520 --> 01:37:14,188 Come on, let's get out of this. 1576 01:37:14,222 --> 01:37:16,224 Who goes yonder?! Who goes?! 1577 01:37:17,725 --> 01:37:19,493 Guard! Guard! 1578 01:37:21,229 --> 01:37:23,364 We'd best run, Your Majesty. 1579 01:37:23,397 --> 01:37:26,434 ♪ 1580 01:37:47,488 --> 01:37:49,257 Evil tidings, milord. 1581 01:37:49,290 --> 01:37:52,226 Sagramore has escaped, killing a guard in the process. 1582 01:37:52,260 --> 01:37:54,828 Hmm. He'll make for Camelot. 1583 01:37:54,862 --> 01:37:56,830 - Send men to overtake him. - Aye, sire. 1584 01:37:56,864 --> 01:37:58,832 And remove the girl to my tower. 1585 01:37:58,866 --> 01:38:01,469 And the other two prisoners? 1586 01:38:01,502 --> 01:38:05,339 The other two? Ah, yes. 1587 01:38:05,373 --> 01:38:08,742 Logris. I would have thee remind the king of a law 1588 01:38:08,776 --> 01:38:11,479 which he himself did place upon the statute books. 1589 01:38:11,512 --> 01:38:12,846 What law, sire? 1590 01:38:12,880 --> 01:38:15,816 If one slave of a household be guilty of murder, 1591 01:38:15,849 --> 01:38:18,619 then all male slaves of the same household... 1592 01:38:18,652 --> 01:38:20,488 Shall die with him. 1593 01:38:23,357 --> 01:38:25,326 ( crowd murmuring ) 1594 01:38:27,595 --> 01:38:29,763 ( crowd cheers ) 1595 01:38:38,038 --> 01:38:40,374 ( crowd cheers ) 1596 01:38:43,344 --> 01:38:45,346 Bring on the first prisoner. 1597 01:38:53,487 --> 01:38:55,723 - I have but one wish. - Yeah? 1598 01:38:55,756 --> 01:38:58,592 To catch this blasted flea before I die. 1599 01:39:00,528 --> 01:39:02,830 How much longer wouldst thou say? 1600 01:39:02,863 --> 01:39:05,333 The man said noon. It's about noon now. 1601 01:39:05,366 --> 01:39:07,301 ( axe clangs, woman screams ) 1602 01:39:13,106 --> 01:39:15,509 Do you suppose I shall have to remove my comforter? 1603 01:39:15,543 --> 01:39:16,877 Oh, no, you'll catch cold again. 1604 01:39:19,680 --> 01:39:21,649 Supposeth thou could extract another miracle 1605 01:39:21,682 --> 01:39:22,983 from thy book of wonders? 1606 01:39:23,016 --> 01:39:24,518 ( axe clangs, crowd cheers ) 1607 01:39:27,655 --> 01:39:30,758 It'd take an awful big stunt to get us out of this. 1608 01:39:30,791 --> 01:39:32,626 It'd take just about the biggest-- 1609 01:39:33,994 --> 01:39:37,465 Wait a minute, if I remember right... 1610 01:39:37,498 --> 01:39:39,333 What day is this? 1611 01:39:39,367 --> 01:39:42,903 Arthur: The 21st day of June in the year 528. 1612 01:39:42,936 --> 01:39:45,038 I think then, sire, I have your miracle. 1613 01:39:45,072 --> 01:39:47,375 - Is it a big one? - Oh, it's a whopper. 1614 01:39:47,408 --> 01:39:48,976 ( axe clangs, crowd cheers ) 1615 01:39:49,009 --> 01:39:50,811 ♪ Here's where I make a comeback ♪ 1616 01:39:56,684 --> 01:39:59,653 After you, my friend. Please don't stand on ceremony. 1617 01:40:02,856 --> 01:40:04,958 Step aside, please. I have a few words to say. 1618 01:40:04,992 --> 01:40:06,760 ( clears throat ) My dear friends-- 1619 01:40:06,794 --> 01:40:09,663 What manner of nonsense is this? 1620 01:40:09,697 --> 01:40:12,566 Die in humility, as becomes a slave. 1621 01:40:12,600 --> 01:40:15,903 Oh, that's the old routine. The trouble is we're not slaves. 1622 01:40:15,936 --> 01:40:17,971 Then who art thou? 1623 01:40:18,005 --> 01:40:20,441 Sir Boss, magician to King Arthur here. 1624 01:40:20,474 --> 01:40:22,843 - ( laughter ) - Maker of miracles! 1625 01:40:22,876 --> 01:40:24,678 The mightiest wizard of them all! 1626 01:40:24,712 --> 01:40:27,448 Now listen, all of you, unless the king and I 1627 01:40:27,481 --> 01:40:29,950 and the rest of these prisoners are freed immediately, 1628 01:40:29,983 --> 01:40:33,053 I shall blot out the sun, and it will never shine again. 1629 01:40:33,086 --> 01:40:35,923 ( laughter ) 1630 01:40:35,956 --> 01:40:39,927 All right. Very well. You asked for it then. 1631 01:40:39,960 --> 01:40:41,862 Now with a few well-chosen words, 1632 01:40:41,895 --> 01:40:45,098 I shall blot out the sun forever. 1633 01:40:45,132 --> 01:40:47,768 Walla Walla, Washington! 1634 01:40:49,737 --> 01:40:52,105 Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania! 1635 01:40:54,642 --> 01:40:56,977 Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. 1636 01:41:02,983 --> 01:41:06,454 New York, New Haven, and Hartford leaving on track-- 1637 01:41:06,487 --> 01:41:09,022 ♪ Perth Amboy 1638 01:41:09,056 --> 01:41:10,858 ( woman screams, crowd murmuring ) 1639 01:41:14,628 --> 01:41:15,929 ( woman screams ) 1640 01:41:15,963 --> 01:41:19,132 Save us, O Mighty Sorcerer! Save us! 1641 01:41:19,166 --> 01:41:23,070 - Bring back the sun! - I beseech thee! 1642 01:41:23,103 --> 01:41:26,173 Woman: Release the sorcerer in heaven's name! 1643 01:41:26,206 --> 01:41:28,041 Release him! Release him! 1644 01:41:28,075 --> 01:41:30,844 Stay this calamity. I would rather die by the ax. 1645 01:41:30,878 --> 01:41:33,113 I'm sorry, sire. Even I can't stop this show. 1646 01:41:33,146 --> 01:41:35,516 - Woman: Free him! Free him! - Man: Release him! 1647 01:41:35,549 --> 01:41:37,585 Free him! 1648 01:41:37,618 --> 01:41:39,152 Set the prisoners free! 1649 01:41:39,186 --> 01:41:44,157 The lord mayor speaketh! Set the prisoners free! 1650 01:41:44,191 --> 01:41:47,528 Very well. ( clears throat ) Hold it. 1651 01:41:47,561 --> 01:41:51,465 This is Sir Boss again! You can come out now! 1652 01:41:54,868 --> 01:41:57,805 ♪ Olley, olley oxen free 1653 01:42:00,240 --> 01:42:03,210 ( crowd cheering ) 1654 01:42:10,618 --> 01:42:12,986 All right, release us. Release His Majesty here. 1655 01:42:13,020 --> 01:42:14,988 Release all these prisoners. 1656 01:42:15,022 --> 01:42:16,557 How can I thank thee? 1657 01:42:16,590 --> 01:42:18,030 Show me how to get to Merlin's tower. 1658 01:42:18,058 --> 01:42:20,494 'Tis on the Inland Lake 'twixt in Camelot. 1659 01:42:20,528 --> 01:42:21,995 Thou wouldst go alone, unarmed? 1660 01:42:22,029 --> 01:42:23,697 Sandy's alone and unarmed, isn't she? 1661 01:42:23,731 --> 01:42:26,867 Wish me luck, sire. Come on. Release the king. 1662 01:42:26,900 --> 01:42:28,035 See you later. 1663 01:42:28,068 --> 01:42:30,170 ( all cheering ) 1664 01:42:34,207 --> 01:42:36,977 ♪ 1665 01:42:48,255 --> 01:42:50,090 Sir Boss. The king, is he-- 1666 01:42:50,123 --> 01:42:51,935 Safe and sound in London. Did you bring the pistol? 1667 01:42:51,959 --> 01:42:53,761 - Aye, sir. - Give it over here. 1668 01:42:53,794 --> 01:42:55,696 - Where goest thou? - Sandy's in Merlin's tower. 1669 01:42:55,729 --> 01:42:57,273 Be not rash, sire. Let me come with thee. 1670 01:42:57,297 --> 01:42:59,567 Thanks, but you'd never be able to keep up on that nag. 1671 01:42:59,600 --> 01:43:02,536 Clarence, if anything happens, it's been nice knowing you. 1672 01:43:02,570 --> 01:43:04,271 ( clicks tongue ) 1673 01:43:16,249 --> 01:43:18,986 'Tis our friend come to pay us a call. 1674 01:43:19,019 --> 01:43:21,154 Something's gone wrong. 1675 01:43:21,188 --> 01:43:24,257 Whatever's gone wrong will soon be right again. 1676 01:43:24,291 --> 01:43:26,226 Lower the drawbridge. 1677 01:43:26,259 --> 01:43:29,897 See that the girl is placed in the courtyard in plain view. 1678 01:43:29,930 --> 01:43:31,198 Understand? 1679 01:43:31,231 --> 01:43:32,265 Aye, sire. 1680 01:43:34,134 --> 01:43:37,137 ♪ 1681 01:43:40,974 --> 01:43:43,276 ( dog growling ) 1682 01:43:43,310 --> 01:43:44,678 ( barking ) 1683 01:43:50,150 --> 01:43:51,652 ( dogs barking ) 1684 01:43:51,685 --> 01:43:53,754 Hank, go back! Flee for your life! 1685 01:44:00,961 --> 01:44:03,864 ( barking ) 1686 01:44:12,239 --> 01:44:13,607 ( gasps ) Hank. 1687 01:44:29,322 --> 01:44:31,625 Hank, thou must not leave me! 1688 01:44:31,659 --> 01:44:34,094 - Thou must not leave me! - Sandy... 1689 01:44:34,127 --> 01:44:36,029 ( crying ) 1690 01:44:39,833 --> 01:44:41,669 Well, that's it. 1691 01:44:41,702 --> 01:44:44,171 When I came to, I was back in Connecticut. 1692 01:44:44,204 --> 01:44:46,807 And Old Man Miller-- he'd come looking for Tex-- 1693 01:44:46,840 --> 01:44:48,075 was kneeling over me. 1694 01:44:48,108 --> 01:44:49,142 And Sandy? 1695 01:44:49,176 --> 01:44:51,278 Sandy? 1696 01:44:51,311 --> 01:44:54,247 Never saw her again. 1697 01:44:54,281 --> 01:44:56,016 Well... 1698 01:44:56,049 --> 01:44:58,351 Young man... 1699 01:44:58,385 --> 01:45:00,153 the view from the east parapet 1700 01:45:00,187 --> 01:45:02,856 is particularly lovely at this time of the afternoon. 1701 01:45:02,890 --> 01:45:03,924 Yes, sir. 1702 01:45:03,957 --> 01:45:06,093 The east parapet, mind you. 1703 01:45:06,126 --> 01:45:09,763 My niece is usually there about this time. 1704 01:45:09,797 --> 01:45:11,331 Thank you, sir. Good-bye. 1705 01:45:14,434 --> 01:45:18,038 ( door opens, closes ) 1706 01:45:39,159 --> 01:45:40,894 ( sneezes ) 1707 01:45:45,365 --> 01:45:46,934 I beg your pardon, uh... 1708 01:45:48,035 --> 01:45:49,035 ( gasps ) 1709 01:45:53,273 --> 01:45:54,441 Sandy. 1710 01:45:56,176 --> 01:45:58,178 How did you know my name? 1711 01:45:58,211 --> 01:46:00,748 I'm glad you asked me. 1712 01:46:00,781 --> 01:46:04,184 Won't you sit down? This may take a little time. 1713 01:46:22,135 --> 01:46:24,404 ♪ Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho 1714 01:46:24,437 --> 01:46:27,474 Choir: ♪ Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho 1715 01:46:27,507 --> 01:46:30,477 ♪ 116073