Original subtitles

So, I know you came for a reason, which was to talk about the way

that you feel about yourself or who.

Okay.

So I'm just gonna ask you to tell me a little bit more about that.

I have this feeling that I'm invisible, uh, seems to manifest in the world

through broken conversations through, um, incomplete availabilities.

It it's just this feeling that I'm really not.

I mean, I get that I'm seen, but my soul and my words aren't seen or.

Okay.

And so that gives you the sense of just being invisible.

That's the word you give to it?

I give invisibility to it.

Yes.

Okay.

So what we'll do is, you know, I'm gonna do the unfindable inquiry with

you and with the unfindable inquiry, I'm gonna ask the question is that you,

the invisible self, and what I want you to do is whatever I'm asking you to

look at, just say in response yes or.

Okay, so just keep your response to yes or no.

What that does is it keeps your mind from sort of wandering off onto another trail.

Mm.

And it keeps you just recognizing that you have this capacity to be aware

and that you're using that capacity, your own capacity to be aware, to

look at thoughts, look at feelings, look at sensations as I bring them up.

Okay.

Okay.

Again, if you have to step in and say something more than yes or

no, because you're confused or.

For whatever reason, that's fine, but just try to keep it to yes or no.

I wanna explain a little bit more before we start.

So you know what I'm doing with you?

Okay.

The kind of looking that I'm asking you to do is like a very basic

looking that we can do it's before we think about something, we have this

capacity to be aware of thoughts.

Right, correct.

Right.

Or even before we give a meaning or label to an.

we have the capacity to be aware that there's energy

there mm-hmm in our bodies.

Right?

Mm-hmm so that's the kind of looking, I often say it's like a child looking,

you know, before they've learned a lot, a big language, they just look right.

You know, so the kind of looking that we're doing will be more interior looking

at thoughts when I pull up a thought and I say, is that thought the invisible,

you, you don't have to intellectualize it.

mm-hmm it's actually you just, if an emotion responds to the thought, in

other words, if you get anxious, if you feel an emotional trigger or tightness

or anything in your body, when you're looking at that thought, you just say,

yes, that's me just unapologetically.

Just say yes, cuz that what that does is helps us go into the body now.

And if you don't get a response from the body, you just say, no that's cuz

then you're saying that it's just a.

Okay.

It's just a picture that doesn't feel like you, that invisible person, which

is that's what we're trying to find here.

Yeah.

Right.

So I want you just to start by just relaxing.

Resting is awareness or just that kind of knowingness is the kind

of knowingness that just is aware of basic colors here in the room.

Okay.

You know what you're aware of light, you know, you're not

in the story of Elizabeth.

You're just here and you're.

Basic things that show up in your present experience.

And then even though you can't really find the awareness, you know, that you're aware

because you see, because you sense cuz you feel, cuz there's thinking happening

and then there's just awareness of that.

So it's just through the inquiry as much as often as possible as just

returning to that place where you're here, presently aware, see beautiful.

When I bring up thoughts, they're just gonna be either words or pictures

and words or things like my name is Elizabeth, uh, or any, any other words

and pictures are literally pictures that are mental pictures, mental images that

are actually happening here in the space.

So if I said, look at a picture of yourself when you're 10 years

old, even though we're here talking, you can see that picture.

If you.

Even if you have to sort of just pull away, you can see the picture of yourself.

So that's a picture here I would be asking you to look at.

Okay.

Okay.

Just relax.

And we're trying to find the person who's invisible.

So I want you to start just with the word.

And so we don't often look at words this way, but I want you to actually

see if you can visualize the.

And ju you know, sometimes it's helpful to close your eyes at first

mm-hmm cause with your eyes closed, you can, for example, imagine the word

in a picture frame, just seeing the word spelled out within the frame.

Mm-hmm so you just rest as the space there's space here, restful awake

week space, and then there's this picture frame with that word in it.

You see it?

Mm-hmm . So we're trying to find the invisible you, is that word

it, and the way that you answer is by listening to your body, if your

body responds it's yes, if not, no.

No.

Okay.

So just continue noticing this present space, just resting in the

space, and now you're not doing anything with the picture or the.

you're just letting it float there in the space.

And now I want you to just sit here and wait until there seem like words that come

through that seem to confirm that you're an invisible person, something that you

hear in thought that seems to prove or indicate that you're an invisible person.

Just take your time all the time in you.

All the word that comes through is, um, Um,

empty.

Okay.

Let's let's just start with that.

Okay.

Keep your eyes close.

Cuz we're gonna come back with eyes open in a second.

Okay.

But I want you just to, first of all, look at the word ugly again

on a road side or a picture frame.

It's something that you're looking at a word inside the frame or on the road.

Hm.

And so there's awareness and then there's a word.

See that mm-hmm and we're trying to find the invisible person.

Is that word it is that word you listen to your body?

No.

Okay.

So again, now that you know, that's not, you, that's not the invisible person.

There's nothing to do with that word.

It just floats there in space.

maybe it disappears, maybe not, but now just coming back to that

restful presence, that's here.

Just that space, like awareness that is here.

So now look at the word empty where you can see each of the letters

begin in a picture frame, or just floating in.

is that word?

You the invisible person?

Yes.

Okay.

So whenever a word feels like you, it just means there's an emotion or

a sensation in the body that came up with the word, take a deep breath

and just bring a very gentle quality of attention to the feeling itself.

But without putting the word on.

it's like being aware of having a stomach ache before you call it that you're

just aware that there's energy there.

So I just want you to, so, and, and let the energy be as it is.

Just let it float freely in the space as if you're not, you're

not putting any words on it.

You're not trying to get it to go away.

You're not trying to get to change.

I understand it.

You're just letting it float freely and just resting into it for a second.

Now there's no right or wrong answer to any of these questions,

but is that feeling itself?

The person who's invisible?

No.

Okay.

So now that you know, it's not, you, it's not what we're

trying to find this invisible.

you just relax as that space that allows it and you just let it float freely.

Is there any, does that feeling have a picture with it, a shape

or a form or a boundary or any other kind of mental image with it?

An image that first popped up was like Spears.

So I just want you to relax and just look at that picture.

That's a mental picture there in the present space of Spears.

So again, you're not focused down on the picture.

You just relax and aware gently of this picture.

Is that picture itself, a person who's invisible.

Okay, so you just let the picture float freely.

You see how, when you see something's not this invisible

person, you can relax a bit.

You can relax the intense focus, the meaning that

you're placing on the picture.

Just let it be there as it is.

Just again, noticing the, the basic space here that you could.

the space in which, or through which all this stuff is just

coming and then disappearing.

So I'm gonna ask a different question.

Now it's more open ended.

So now I just want you just resting and being aware, which is natural.

We're just here and we're aware.

I want you to tell me where the invisible person is.

I want you to pinpoint it to me.

tell me where you feel like that is in your experience here.

It could be words.

It could be pictures of the past future.

It could be feeling it could be sensation.

Can it be external?

It could be any it, anything that comes up for you?

What came up was I feel invisible to the people in my life.

Okay.

I want you to look at those words directly.

I feel in.

To the people in my life.

I don't want you to put any pictures on it yet.

Just look at the words themselves.

Even if you have to put it in the picture frame to where you see each letter,

you see the space between letters, notice that there can be space between

each of the letters that you're really seeing, that it's a series of letters.

It's words are those words themselves, the invisible person that we're trying to.

and let your body be the, the respo if your body responds it's yes.

If not, no.

No.

Okay.

So just relax.

Let that be as it is.

Are there any pictures that seem to go with those words though?

That in other words, some mental image of the past, if you scan the past,

they're like still photographs of the.

is there some photograph that you look at that seems to confirm

that you're invisible or some part of the movie of your life?

Okay.

So what are you looking at?

Exactly.

I'm looking at a movie of conversations with friends and I'll be talking and

all of a sudden they will start talking.

and forget I even was speaking.

And, and that's when you feel invisible.

Absolutely.

So I want you to look at that present memory.

So there's still this, this awake space here.

That's it has the capacity to proceed the picture.

You see that?

Mm-hmm . So I just want you to look at that picture and tell me,

is that the invisible person is the picture itself before you.

let your body be the thing that answers you must have felt something there.

So if you did just say yes, yes.

Okay.

So now just bring attention into the body gently, just letting the

picture kind of fade for a second.

So you can just let the present energy float freely in the space here.

Again, not trying to get it to go.

Not trying to neutralize it, not trying to get it to change or even diminish,

but allowing the energy to be within the space exactly as it is, which is just a

way of saying no viewpoints for a second,

just resting into it.

Is that feeling the person who's in.

there's no right or wrong answer.

Yes mm-hmm okay.

So when a feeling feels like that person, that just means there are

words or pictures coming through that seem to want to confirm that

the feeling means I'm invisible.

So I just want you to relax, knowing again, that awareness is

here, able to perceive whatever words are coming through or.

And tell me what came through when you said yes, that's me that feeling?

Uh, it was just a big black spot.

Okay.

So that was the image.

Mm-hmm the picture is the black spot still there?

Yes.

Okay.

So I want you to look at the words, black spot.

Just pull that out of the mix and look at the words, the letters.

Put it in a picture frame by itself.

So you can see the words.

Are those words, the person who's invisible?

No.

Okay.

So just let the words kind of relax.

They came through, you saw them, you saw that that's not the invisible

person, which is what we're looking for.

Now.

Just let the picture of the black.

be there in the space, just floating freely, not trying

to place new meaning on it.

You're just resting without thoughts, looking at a picture as

if it was a painting on the wall and you're just discovering it.

Is the picture itself.

You, the person who's invisible?

No.

Okay.

So just let the picture of the black spot be as it.

you can see now you don't have to do anything with it.

You know, it's not the person who's invisible.

It's just pick this picture and watch.

If you just do nothing with it, watch how it's boundaries or

it's shape begins to just change.

Naturally.

You're not trying to push it away or just watch to see how it starts

to change or morph or even melt.

And just describe to me how it.

It just seems to, um, become little particles and just

flutter away, flutter away.

Mm-hmm is there any image of it left?

No.

I want you to note, to, to notice that there's awareness within the space

of your body, in the sense that you could scan, you could scan inside your.

you could actually scan inside your stomach area as if you were

a child on an Easter egg hunt, looking for that proverbial egg.

You're, you're really looking for it as if it's gotta be here.

You're scanning without words.

But what you're looking for is the person who's invisible.

And I want you to scan all the areas of your body, being aware of that space

within even up through your chest and.

and into the physical space of your head.

And tell me if you bump into the person , who's invisible.

mm-hmm , uh, that's funny.

I'm not bumping into this person.

Okay.

So just relax now and look anywhere else you want to look

like, even if you wanted to.

Scan the pictures of your past.

Go back to your timeline back when you were a child or, um, teenager, are there

any other pictures that seem to indicate there's a person who's invisible here?

No.

You don't find that?

No.

Okay.

What about the pictures of the future?

You're scanning projections of things that haven't happened

yet, but they can seem real.

Do you find the person that's invisible?

No.

Okay.

Is there anything in your body that feels like there's still a person

here who's invisible, maybe a sensation, a feeling a sense of some.

No.

So the notion about the sense of being deficient, whether the, is the story

of being invisible for you, is that even when we're sitting here and we

look, you can't find it, relationship tends to bring it out for people.

So other people mirror back the sense that you're in.

um, that's how kind of identity works.

It's like a, like I call the boomerang.

It's like, we bring the story with us.

That's who we think we are.

It's like, we throw a boomerang out and it comes back to us

confirming that we're invisible.

Right.

Right.

So when with the boomerang, you're just setting up one other person

here in your life, um, to see.

E we want it to be someone who really does reflect back to you that you're

invisible on a pretty regular basis.

Someone who triggers you a lot.

And so I'd like you to just sort of tell me about the person and tell me how they

seem something about how they act or don't act seems to trigger or reflect back

that you're invisible someone specific.

Okay.

Um,

um, I have a dear friend and.

I just it's as if I can't talk.

So when I start speaking, I somehow plan to seed for her to her story told, and

then I also no longer telling my story and then minutes go by sometimes hours,

go by and I'm still sitting there waiting.

Hello?

Yeah, I was talking.

Are you not aware that I was talking right.

And it makes me feel invisible.

Right.

Because I either wasn't invaluable enough to have my story told.

Right.

I really don't exist.

Okay.

That's a good example.

So if you can just see that, that friend of yours, I can

see it's bringing up something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, so what I wanna do is in the midst of what just got triggered there.

I want you to see if you can find the invisible.

so I want you to look at a memory of the last time she did that.

She just cut you off.

And for that, you might have to close your eyes again at first, because

just closing your eyes helps you see those pictures more clearly.

Mm-hmm so can you see how she cut?

She's cutting you off.

Do you see that picture?

Yes.

Okay.

Is that picture you the invisible person and the way that your answer

is just by seeing whether something is arising in the body and that's a yes.

If so, Okay.

Yes, that's me that picture.

Okay.

So again, now, just bringing attention gently to the feeling and just

letting the feeling float freely.

It's like, you're not putting any pictures on the feeling.

You're not trying to go to words resting as the space, letting that feeling, just

move freely, just letting it be as it.

so just looking at that feeling by itself, there's a present energy here and you're

looking at it like the child looking for the egg, you stumbled upon this feeling.

Is that feeling you, the person who's invisible?

No.

Right or wrong answer her.

Yeah.

No.

So now that you know that it's not an invisible person, you see how it's

easier just to relax and that it be as.

Yes, you don't have to put that meaning on it for a few seconds.

So I want you to go back to the picture of her face.

When you look at that picture, does it seem to reflect back to you that

you're someone who's invisible?

No.

Okay.

So I want you to look at any of the scenarios with.

Any of the situations where you felt triggered again, you're seeing

them as present pictures here.

Memories.

Do any of those memories seem to indicate that there's someone here

that you are invisible and you answer by listening to the body?

No.

Okay.

So I want to take it a little bit wider now.

A little broad.

and we're gonna do the Panorama inquiry, which is, imagine yourself.

Well, you don't have to imagine yourself cuz you're already sitting here, but

imagine that there's a circle of people around you or in front of you probably.

I'm not one of them.

You'll be people that are close to you.

Okay.

Could be mother, father, friends, um, partners, boss, coworker.

it could even be events and situations.

Anything that you feel like triggers that sense that you're invisible.

I want you to put in an imaginary chair around you, close your eyes

and just put the people in situations in events, in a semi circle in front

of you, the ones that have triggered that sense that you're invisible.

Get the ones that really do the triggering.

Take your time.

Do you feel something mm-hmm anxiety, anxiety?

Who, or what are you looking at in the circle?

Yeah, about eight people.

Okay.

Is there any one person or thing that seems to.

really draw your attention in.

Mm.

They all tend to, they all do.

Yeah.

Look at one in particular where there's a real strong trigger.

You see the face.

Yes.

I want you to first see, can you see that there that's a picture, a

rising care within your own presence, within an awareness that can see the.

You can rest, is that awareness for a second?

So that picture feels like you, the invisible person is

that you no, it's not you.

No.

So the body didn't respond to that much.

Does it feel like, well, let me ask you this, that person, the picture

of that person triggered something.

Can you find the invisible.

The got triggered.

If you look for it again, like the child looking for the egg,

you're scanning everywhere.

Like you're looking at words, you're looking at pictures, you're

looking at feelings and you're noticing they're all rising within

this basic capacity to be aware.

Can you find the person who's invisible?

No.

You said a second ago, that anxiety comes up when you look at that circle?

Yes.

When you look back at it again, does it seem to arise again?

Not as strongly.

Okay.

Still there.

Look at the word anxiety, just pull it out of the mix and

put it up in a picture frame.

however you can see the letters you see that.

See that word mm-hmm is that word itself?

The person who's invisible?

No.

Okay.

Do you feel the energy that you're calling anxiety?

Yeah.

So watch the word anxiety by looking at the word, you can watch it sort

of fade away just the word itself.

Now there's just this present energy to give it a.

Relax and let that be without words and without pictures for a

second, let it F float freely here.

Is there anything in you that wants to say that that feeling.

Is the person that's invisible?

No.

Okay.

So just relax and rest here, letting all energies be as they are,

whatever the energy that needs to be.

There is just relaxing.

Not trying to put words on it, just allowing it in the.

Now look back at the circle.

Does someone around that circle seem to mirror back to you that

you're someone who's invisible?

No.

Nowhere, no.

. Do they look different now?

They do.

Tell me what you mean by that?

Looking different before they looked hostile and just like big God, you know,

Godzilla is just ready to stomp on me and, um, now they just seem normal and present.

Yeah.

You see how just looking for the self clears up the relationships.

Yeah.

Do you.

Yeah, it's that simple when we're always pointed outward at them, we

don't notice that we're just, all we had to do was turn and see if we could

find the self that's reflected back.

See that.

Yeah.

So now that your eyes are open, can you find a person who's

invisible in the way that you came to me with that in the beginning?

Is there anything about your body, anything about the visual aspect of your

experience, or just being here with.

Um, well, there's a lot more calmness.

Yeah.

Um, usually there feels like there's a hot still rod just driven

between my heart and my, yeah.

The middle of my body.

Right.

And it seemed like it was just, you know, um, absorbing

everything to make me invisible.

Mm-hmm and that's really cool and refreshing and, but it's

more like a tree mm-hmm versus.

good.

Can you see the tree?

Can you, even though we're just sitting here, there's no tree.

Can you see the image of the tree?

I, I can.

Okay.

Look at that image.

Like if I close your eyes and look at that tree, see that mm-hmm, just let

that be there as it is not trying to change even the good feelings you see

that or trying to keep them around.

Um, but is that picture of that tree?

An invisible person?

no,

So my last question hopefully is some came to me with a belief that

you're someone who's invisible.

Mm-hmm they seemed to have proof in your life of that.

Right.

Mm-hmm so what's that like, not to be able to find that now I

really believed that it was real.

Yeah.

And it's not it's it's not even there.

So.

it kind of messes with you a little bit.

Yeah.

Because something that's always sort of been there in a way.

Yeah.

It's yeah.

Always felt like it was there.

Right?

Yeah.

I had proof.

I had everything I needed to say I'm invisible.

Right.

And yet you've managed to show me that as we go through this, I'm looking and

looking and looking and yet there's no object or thing or feeling that's it?

It, and can you.

even as we sit here now, can you find there's passengers?

No, I looked in the tree branches I looked in my toes.

Um, there's nothing there that says this is Elizabeth invisible.

Yeah.

That's interesting.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.