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In a distant...
2
00:00:08,989 --> 00:00:11,940
and second hand set of dimensions,
3
00:00:12,496 --> 00:00:15,439
through wavering star mists, see...
4
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,856
the Great A'Tuin.
5
00:00:22,616 --> 00:00:25,005
Drifting onwards through space,
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atop the shell of the great turtle,
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are four giant elephants,
8
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upon whose broad shoulders rests...
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00:00:34,604 --> 00:00:36,366
the Discworld.
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00:00:39,232 --> 00:00:40,951
For the people on the Disc,
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00:00:41,121 --> 00:00:43,719
the turtle was a mere hypothesis,
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00:00:44,036 --> 00:00:47,409
until one day,
the island kingdom of Krull,
13
00:00:47,846 --> 00:00:51,482
whose rim-most mountains
project over the rim fall,
14
00:00:52,024 --> 00:00:55,333
lowered over the edge
a brass vessel
15
00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:59,696
containing several astrozoologists.
16
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,018
Their mission did indeed prove
17
00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:06,050
the existence of the turtle.
18
00:01:06,826 --> 00:01:10,515
Unfortunately,
owing to a minor malfunction...
19
00:01:11,827 --> 00:01:13,584
they were unable to answer
20
00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:16,299
an even more fundamental question...
21
00:01:16,651 --> 00:01:19,932
What is the sex of the turtle?
22
00:01:20,451 --> 00:01:24,344
The remaining astrozoologists
are never short of a question.
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00:01:24,811 --> 00:01:26,429
Why does it matter?
24
00:01:26,691 --> 00:01:29,395
So, we're gonna look
at a turtle's bottom?
25
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:32,726
That won't be very nice, will it?
26
00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:37,131
Since the failure of the last mission,
27
00:01:37,743 --> 00:01:40,509
this vital question
cannot possibly be answered
28
00:01:40,986 --> 00:01:43,079
without sending a new expedition
29
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,186
over the edge of the Disc...
30
00:01:47,131 --> 00:01:48,193
in this.
31
00:01:52,123 --> 00:01:53,388
It's a bit small.
32
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,617
It will be somewhat bigger.
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00:01:57,971 --> 00:01:59,021
Yeah, but...
34
00:01:59,963 --> 00:02:03,799
where in the world are you gonna find
someone stupid enough to go in that?
35
00:02:06,655 --> 00:02:09,229
Several thousand miles hubwards
from the Rim,
36
00:02:09,575 --> 00:02:12,842
in Ankh-Morpork,
the Disc's oldest city,
37
00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:17,034
the ship arriving in its dock
is carrying Twoflower,
38
00:02:17,608 --> 00:02:20,152
the Discworld's first tourist.
39
00:02:20,799 --> 00:02:23,693
He is looking forward
to all its sights...
40
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,760
and smells.
41
00:02:26,232 --> 00:02:29,250
And of course,
no tour would be complete
42
00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:31,287
without a visit to the city's
43
00:02:31,457 --> 00:02:34,604
Unseen University for wizards
44
00:02:34,972 --> 00:02:37,276
and its famous Tower Of Art.
45
00:02:38,650 --> 00:02:40,786
Transcript:
http://transcripts.subtitle.me.uk/
46
00:02:40,956 --> 00:02:42,656
Synchro: Jesslataree
47
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,830
When our story begins,
48
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,741
wizards are not very nice.
49
00:02:49,152 --> 00:02:51,511
Carrying the final remains
of one of their number,
50
00:02:51,681 --> 00:02:54,911
the eight heads of the orders
of wizardry have demonstrated
51
00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:56,732
great powers of survival,
52
00:02:57,033 --> 00:02:59,988
because behind
every wizard of the eighth rank,
53
00:03:00,277 --> 00:03:03,240
there is at least
one seventh rank wizard
54
00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:05,786
trying to bump him off.
55
00:03:06,435 --> 00:03:07,625
Old Rumlat.
56
00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:10,470
He never saw it coming,
you know, Trymon.
57
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,709
You know what they say,
Arch Chancellor,
58
00:03:13,255 --> 00:03:17,245
when a wizard is tired of looking
for broken glass in his dinner,
59
00:03:17,909 --> 00:03:19,580
he is tired of life.
60
00:03:21,758 --> 00:03:24,200
I'm just speculating, obviously.
61
00:03:28,762 --> 00:03:30,870
We are gathered here today to...
62
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:34,949
pay our respects to Old Rumlet.
63
00:03:35,211 --> 00:03:36,261
A wizard...
64
00:03:39,491 --> 00:03:40,389
Sorry.
65
00:03:45,832 --> 00:03:47,278
I'm not late, am I?
66
00:03:49,212 --> 00:03:50,589
Who is that?
67
00:03:51,597 --> 00:03:52,629
Rincewind,
68
00:03:52,891 --> 00:03:54,104
Arch Chancellor.
69
00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:55,828
Rincewind?
70
00:04:00,378 --> 00:04:03,344
Have him sent to my office
in ten minutes.
71
00:04:03,736 --> 00:04:05,269
Get on with it, Weatherwax.
72
00:04:05,531 --> 00:04:06,960
My back's killing me.
73
00:04:07,491 --> 00:04:09,330
Run along, Rincewind.
74
00:04:13,745 --> 00:04:14,799
Yes, sir.
75
00:04:15,891 --> 00:04:16,862
Sorry.
76
00:04:22,893 --> 00:04:24,293
Mister Rincewind,
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00:04:24,775 --> 00:04:27,439
there are, as you know,
eight levels of wizardry,
78
00:04:27,609 --> 00:04:29,537
to which the aspiring young...
79
00:04:29,988 --> 00:04:32,120
to which the student can aspire.
80
00:04:32,869 --> 00:04:36,859
In your not inconsiderable time here
at the Unseen University,
81
00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:40,066
you have failed to reach level one.
82
00:04:42,277 --> 00:04:43,235
Yes, but...
83
00:04:43,405 --> 00:04:45,876
What the Arch Chancellor
is trying to say,
84
00:04:46,046 --> 00:04:48,320
is that after decades
of teaching you,
85
00:04:48,591 --> 00:04:51,030
patience seems not so much a virtue
86
00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:53,469
as a life sentence.
87
00:04:54,359 --> 00:04:56,509
- Yes, but...
- There is simply no room
88
00:04:56,996 --> 00:05:00,384
for your kind of person
in a modern university.
89
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,034
- I feel...
- So you leave the Arch Chancellor
90
00:05:03,204 --> 00:05:06,509
no other course of action
but to expel you.
91
00:05:08,843 --> 00:05:11,854
But it's only been 40 years.
92
00:05:15,542 --> 00:05:16,551
The hat.
93
00:05:31,091 --> 00:05:33,160
Goodbye, Mr Rincewind.
94
00:05:51,013 --> 00:05:53,236
In the competitive world of wizardry,
95
00:05:53,406 --> 00:05:57,394
the way to the top
is via dead men's pointy shoes.
96
00:06:05,828 --> 00:06:08,520
Even if you have to empty them yourself.
97
00:06:35,571 --> 00:06:37,845
- You can't!
- And don't come back!
98
00:06:40,465 --> 00:06:41,869
Now, let me tell you!
99
00:06:42,799 --> 00:06:44,290
Ah, thank you very...
100
00:07:26,388 --> 00:07:28,669
Deep in its very bowels,
101
00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:31,522
the departure
of the Disc's worst wizard
102
00:07:31,692 --> 00:07:33,709
from the Unseen University
103
00:07:34,602 --> 00:07:36,149
has stirred magic.
104
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,676
Good day to thee, sir.
105
00:09:24,451 --> 00:09:25,701
Goodbye, world.
106
00:09:35,089 --> 00:09:36,459
Disappointing.
107
00:09:39,691 --> 00:09:41,483
Ha-low!
108
00:09:43,390 --> 00:09:44,595
Hello, yourself.
109
00:09:48,451 --> 00:09:51,127
I wish to be direct-ed
110
00:09:51,297 --> 00:09:52,744
to an 'otel,
111
00:09:53,888 --> 00:09:55,120
tavern,
112
00:09:55,523 --> 00:09:58,007
lodging house in hospice.
113
00:10:05,297 --> 00:10:06,549
I wish...
114
00:10:07,326 --> 00:10:08,575
I know a tavern.
115
00:10:11,748 --> 00:10:12,757
This way.
116
00:10:24,768 --> 00:10:26,981
Sapient pearwood.
117
00:10:40,532 --> 00:10:43,760
The tourist's luggage
is no ordinary suitcase.
118
00:10:44,006 --> 00:10:45,768
It has absolutely no brain
119
00:10:46,189 --> 00:10:47,821
and a homicidal attitude
120
00:10:47,991 --> 00:10:50,806
towards anything
that threatens its master
121
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,587
and would follow him anywhere.'
122
00:11:25,938 --> 00:11:27,589
I wish...
123
00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:31,269
for an acc-omodation,
124
00:11:31,655 --> 00:11:34,257
a room, lodgings,
are your rooms clean,
125
00:11:34,531 --> 00:11:37,190
a roomwithaview,
what is your rate for one night,
126
00:11:37,451 --> 00:11:39,901
what is for breakfast,
where are the...
127
00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:42,135
bathrooms, sir?
128
00:11:44,551 --> 00:11:45,949
He's got plenty of money.
129
00:11:48,456 --> 00:11:49,429
It'll be...
130
00:11:50,791 --> 00:11:52,189
two dollars then?
131
00:11:52,997 --> 00:11:55,527
And that thing
has to stay in the stables.
132
00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:01,757
Two.
133
00:12:03,128 --> 00:12:04,152
Two-ah?
134
00:12:12,048 --> 00:12:13,057
Two-ah.
135
00:12:20,693 --> 00:12:21,551
Two-ah.
136
00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:28,303
Two.
137
00:12:40,538 --> 00:12:41,538
Shower?
138
00:12:45,091 --> 00:12:47,903
It is. Sapient pearwood.
139
00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:57,182
Itsis sonbon... ride...
140
00:12:57,574 --> 00:12:59,350
toiletries? Toilet?
141
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:02,389
May I be of assistance?
142
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:03,909
Shove off, Rincewind.
143
00:13:07,005 --> 00:13:08,135
It won't work.
144
00:13:08,586 --> 00:13:10,815
It's the book,
it tells him what to say.
145
00:13:10,985 --> 00:13:12,189
It's magic.
146
00:14:06,051 --> 00:14:07,429
So you're a wizard!
147
00:14:07,691 --> 00:14:09,669
And you speak Ankh-Morporkean!
148
00:14:09,931 --> 00:14:14,229
- Yes. I did a correspondence course.
- What's all this about then?
149
00:14:14,892 --> 00:14:17,676
Well, a tourist should always
use his phrasebook
150
00:14:17,846 --> 00:14:19,984
so that people will know you're one.
151
00:14:21,482 --> 00:14:22,491
And...
152
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,940
is that really your luggage?
153
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:27,764
Yes. And...
154
00:14:28,959 --> 00:14:30,600
are you really a wizard?
155
00:14:34,891 --> 00:14:37,907
I hear the famous Unseen University
is a must see.
156
00:14:38,251 --> 00:14:40,349
I was hoping to visit it
so that when I get back home
157
00:14:40,611 --> 00:14:43,821
- I could say, "I did that."
- Yeah, well, it's closed.
158
00:14:44,272 --> 00:14:45,356
For... For...
159
00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:47,193
For the exams.
160
00:14:49,091 --> 00:14:52,429
- Where is your home?
- Have you heard of Bes Pelargic?
161
00:14:52,907 --> 00:14:55,236
It's the major seaport
of the Agatean Empire.
162
00:14:55,406 --> 00:14:57,909
That's the Counterweight Continent,
isn't it?
163
00:14:58,978 --> 00:15:01,390
We may be small
but we're equal in weight
164
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,309
to all the major land masses
of this hemicircle.
165
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,718
That's because the ancient legend...
166
00:15:07,501 --> 00:15:09,443
It says that it's made of gold.
167
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,389
It's not made of gold.
168
00:15:12,887 --> 00:15:14,629
Gold is just a really common metal.
169
00:15:16,756 --> 00:15:20,240
You might like to keep that...
to ourselves.
170
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:27,629
On the house.
171
00:15:29,811 --> 00:15:32,120
- Who is he?
- He says he's a tourist.
172
00:15:34,118 --> 00:15:36,919
- What's that mean, then?
- I think it means idiot.
173
00:15:57,091 --> 00:15:59,737
You are correct in your surmise.
174
00:16:00,371 --> 00:16:03,589
This is, technically, false coinage.
175
00:16:04,227 --> 00:16:07,284
I knew it, I knew it.
I got a nose for a dud un.
176
00:16:08,139 --> 00:16:10,580
- What do you mean, technically?
- Well, you see,
177
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,814
our Ankh-Morpork coins...
178
00:16:13,644 --> 00:16:17,588
contain rather less gold
than a pint of sea water.
179
00:16:18,597 --> 00:16:19,711
I knew it!
180
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,823
But this, my friend,
181
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,320
is solid gold.
182
00:16:24,891 --> 00:16:25,789
What?!
183
00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:28,232
I've gotta get back.
184
00:16:45,251 --> 00:16:46,132
And so,
185
00:16:46,302 --> 00:16:50,211
the leaders of a number of the many
gangs, guilds, and collections
186
00:16:50,381 --> 00:16:53,988
of other nefarious dirt bags
of Ankh-Morpork
187
00:16:54,412 --> 00:16:57,190
were aware that someone
had arrived in the city
188
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,179
who appeared to have much treasure.
189
00:17:02,612 --> 00:17:05,488
Including Emor, its greatest thief.
190
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,138
So...
191
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,859
No... guards?
192
00:17:16,138 --> 00:17:18,869
No, why?
What do I have that's worth stealing?
193
00:17:19,131 --> 00:17:20,188
Well, the trunk.
194
00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:21,869
There can't be more
195
00:17:22,131 --> 00:17:24,992
than two very small wands
made of sapient pearwood
196
00:17:25,313 --> 00:17:27,160
in all the cities of the circle sea,
197
00:17:27,330 --> 00:17:29,092
let alone a whole box.
198
00:17:30,432 --> 00:17:31,667
That or the...
199
00:17:32,555 --> 00:17:33,654
the gold.
200
00:17:35,548 --> 00:17:36,869
Barely 2,000 rhinu.
201
00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:41,339
Is a rhinu one of those...
202
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,116
big gold coins?
203
00:17:45,129 --> 00:17:47,589
Do you think I paid
the innkeeper too much?
204
00:17:48,172 --> 00:17:50,822
I think he might
have settled for less.
205
00:17:51,622 --> 00:17:53,772
I can see I've got a lot to learn.
206
00:17:57,421 --> 00:17:59,017
An idea occurs to me.
207
00:17:59,694 --> 00:18:00,589
Rincewind,
208
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,149
would you perhaps consent
to be employed as a...
209
00:18:05,023 --> 00:18:07,789
perhaps the word guide
would fit the circumstances.
210
00:18:08,051 --> 00:18:09,789
I think I could afford to pay you a...
211
00:18:11,244 --> 00:18:12,569
a rhinu a day.
212
00:18:14,972 --> 00:18:15,989
Oh, dear,
213
00:18:16,826 --> 00:18:18,056
I've offended you.
214
00:18:18,226 --> 00:18:20,452
It was an impertinent request,
doubtless you have
215
00:18:20,622 --> 00:18:22,563
works of high magic to return to.
216
00:18:23,225 --> 00:18:25,077
One of those a day?
217
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,190
- Two then?
- What do you want to see?
218
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,189
I want to see everything.
I mean, genuine Morporkean life.
219
00:18:34,564 --> 00:18:37,069
I want to go to the slave markets
and the whore pits,
220
00:18:37,331 --> 00:18:39,859
the Temple of Small Gods,
the Beggar's Guild...
221
00:18:40,029 --> 00:18:42,469
and a genuine tavern brawl.
222
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:47,231
No, no, I'm not suggesting
we get involved.
223
00:18:47,697 --> 00:18:49,469
I just wanna see it, that's all.
224
00:18:50,654 --> 00:18:52,469
And some of your famous heroes, like...
225
00:18:52,972 --> 00:18:54,644
Cohen The Barbarian.
226
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:59,309
- You do know him?
- Oh, yes, yes, of course!
227
00:18:59,865 --> 00:19:01,386
Good. Well.
228
00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:03,509
So, it's agreed?
229
00:19:03,771 --> 00:19:05,229
- Agreed?
- Excellent!
230
00:19:05,491 --> 00:19:07,029
Be a good chap and see to it
231
00:19:07,291 --> 00:19:09,403
that the innkeeper shows
my luggage to the room.
232
00:19:09,573 --> 00:19:12,416
I insist you take
your first four days' wages...
233
00:19:15,641 --> 00:19:16,789
in advance.
234
00:19:17,117 --> 00:19:19,074
Broadman, luggage, room!
235
00:19:21,637 --> 00:19:25,251
And perhaps when the exams are finished,
we could get a peek at the...
236
00:19:27,851 --> 00:19:29,269
Unseen University?
237
00:19:32,486 --> 00:19:34,236
This calls for a picture.
238
00:19:34,604 --> 00:19:36,654
All the best wizards have left!
239
00:19:37,491 --> 00:19:38,741
See you, loser!
240
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,315
Relax, Withel.
241
00:19:46,844 --> 00:19:49,354
The magic chest will
come back for its owner
242
00:19:49,524 --> 00:19:51,075
and, with it, the gold.
243
00:19:55,811 --> 00:19:57,745
Yes, we'll just have a pic.
244
00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:00,270
Just look over here, Rincewind,
245
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:01,969
and smile.
246
00:20:02,837 --> 00:20:03,709
Rincewind?
247
00:20:06,447 --> 00:20:07,267
Hi.
248
00:20:16,069 --> 00:20:17,048
Halt!
249
00:20:22,882 --> 00:20:24,719
The city gates.
250
00:20:27,648 --> 00:20:30,012
Attempting to leave.
251
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:35,000
The Patrician,
the ruler of Ankh-Morpork,
252
00:20:35,411 --> 00:20:38,673
may not be particularly fair
or even democratic
253
00:20:39,045 --> 00:20:42,262
but at least, for the first time
in a thousand years,
254
00:20:42,432 --> 00:20:43,893
the city works.
255
00:20:44,465 --> 00:20:48,391
This is largely because he knows
where everyone is, most of the time,
256
00:20:48,561 --> 00:20:52,109
and which dissuasively vicious
punishment to exact
257
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,989
for whatever they are doing there.
258
00:20:59,764 --> 00:21:01,119
Oath breaking.
259
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,069
The theft of a horse.
260
00:21:05,456 --> 00:21:08,549
No, my Lord Patrician,
I didn't steal the horse,
261
00:21:09,107 --> 00:21:10,612
I paid for it fairly.
262
00:21:12,816 --> 00:21:14,360
Using false coinage,
263
00:21:14,638 --> 00:21:17,389
which is technically theft,
I think, false coinage.
264
00:21:20,223 --> 00:21:23,169
What are we going to do with you,
265
00:21:23,339 --> 00:21:25,160
you little scamp?
266
00:21:33,329 --> 00:21:35,400
It's the Arena for you, Rincewind.
267
00:21:35,693 --> 00:21:36,792
What?
268
00:21:38,327 --> 00:21:41,630
On top of these, there is
the moral obligatory attendant
269
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,400
of the cowardly betrayal
of a visitor to these shores.
270
00:21:47,194 --> 00:21:49,400
Shame on you, Rincewind.
271
00:21:51,803 --> 00:21:54,800
Will you be requiring a sword
or a spear for the Arena?
272
00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:56,425
A s-s-s-s...
273
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:01,414
Of course...
274
00:22:04,137 --> 00:22:06,110
we could be merciful.
275
00:22:09,379 --> 00:22:11,155
Should we be merciful?
276
00:22:17,571 --> 00:22:19,860
- Two rhinu.
- One Polyseal.
277
00:22:21,968 --> 00:22:23,383
Oi! That's my door!
278
00:22:26,739 --> 00:22:27,824
Door's fine.
279
00:22:30,011 --> 00:22:31,961
Why don't you join me, Zlorf?
280
00:22:32,524 --> 00:22:34,873
The Assassins' Guild are our friends.
281
00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:38,714
I've come for the tourist.
282
00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:45,520
I thought we had an agreement.
283
00:22:46,107 --> 00:22:47,251
You don't rob,
284
00:22:47,793 --> 00:22:49,118
and I don't kill.
285
00:22:58,610 --> 00:22:59,889
I'll kill him...
286
00:23:00,860 --> 00:23:02,750
and then you can rob him.
287
00:23:14,667 --> 00:23:17,136
If anybody's going to kill him,
288
00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,741
they'll need to talk to me first.
289
00:23:20,476 --> 00:23:21,989
Get those dwarves out of here!
290
00:23:28,251 --> 00:23:29,792
Who the hell are you?
291
00:23:30,371 --> 00:23:31,425
I am Rerpf
292
00:23:32,072 --> 00:23:35,485
and I'm here on behalf
of the Guild Of Merchants And Traders
293
00:23:35,655 --> 00:23:37,342
to protect our interests.
294
00:23:38,095 --> 00:23:39,134
Meaning...
295
00:23:39,646 --> 00:23:40,669
the little man.
296
00:23:41,212 --> 00:23:45,120
And how long has this guild
been in existence, may I ask?
297
00:23:45,819 --> 00:23:47,249
Since this afternoon.
298
00:23:47,641 --> 00:23:50,209
I am Vice Guild Master
in charge of...
299
00:23:50,571 --> 00:23:51,509
tourism.
300
00:23:52,663 --> 00:23:56,043
And what is this...
tourism, of which you speak?
301
00:23:56,750 --> 00:23:58,241
We're not quite sure.
302
00:23:59,731 --> 00:24:01,309
- What's a tourist?
- Smile!
303
00:24:03,634 --> 00:24:04,634
It's magic!
304
00:24:06,747 --> 00:24:09,202
I want you to listen very carefully
305
00:24:09,759 --> 00:24:11,445
to what I have to say.
306
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:14,991
Otherwise, you will die.
307
00:24:18,972 --> 00:24:21,005
In an interesting fashion.
308
00:24:23,472 --> 00:24:24,747
Over a period.
309
00:24:24,917 --> 00:24:27,649
Please stop fidgeting like that.
310
00:24:29,993 --> 00:24:33,155
The Emperor of the Counterweight
Continent sent me a letter.
311
00:24:34,569 --> 00:24:38,032
It appears that one of his subjects
has taken it into his head
312
00:24:38,393 --> 00:24:40,320
to visit our city.
313
00:24:41,532 --> 00:24:43,745
It appears he wishes to...
314
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,204
look at it.
315
00:24:52,764 --> 00:24:56,076
You will continue to be a guide,
Rincewind,
316
00:24:56,347 --> 00:24:58,239
to this... looker.
317
00:24:58,409 --> 00:25:00,864
This-This... Twoflower.
318
00:25:01,969 --> 00:25:04,102
You will make sure he returns home
319
00:25:04,272 --> 00:25:06,350
with a good report of our homeland.
320
00:25:08,095 --> 00:25:10,484
What do you say to that?
You say yes.
321
00:25:10,654 --> 00:25:11,935
I say yes.
322
00:25:12,611 --> 00:25:14,253
Yes, thank you, Lord.
323
00:25:16,761 --> 00:25:18,608
Because...
324
00:25:18,778 --> 00:25:21,398
it would be a tragedy
should anything...
325
00:25:21,940 --> 00:25:23,400
untoward
326
00:25:24,295 --> 00:25:26,012
happen to our visitor.
327
00:25:41,326 --> 00:25:44,564
It will be dreadful
if the tourist were to die, for example.
328
00:25:45,290 --> 00:25:47,534
Because the Emperor looks after his own
329
00:25:47,955 --> 00:25:50,665
and he could certainly extinguish us
at a nod,
330
00:25:50,931 --> 00:25:53,410
which would be dreadful for you,
Rincewind,
331
00:25:53,746 --> 00:25:55,277
because I would hope,
332
00:25:55,533 --> 00:25:58,631
when the Empire's huge,
mercenary fleet arrived,
333
00:25:59,278 --> 00:26:02,669
that the avenging captains would find
their anger somewhat tempered
334
00:26:03,121 --> 00:26:06,452
by the fact that my skilled operatives
have just shown you
335
00:26:06,622 --> 00:26:08,279
the colour of your liver.
336
00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:12,669
I see, by your face,
that understanding dawns.
337
00:26:16,561 --> 00:26:17,615
Good luck.
338
00:26:20,873 --> 00:26:22,499
There's one other thing.
339
00:26:24,808 --> 00:26:25,861
I'm sure...
340
00:26:27,949 --> 00:26:31,389
you wouldn't dream of trying to escape
from your obligations by, say,
341
00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:33,573
running away.
342
00:26:35,166 --> 00:26:37,058
I assure you, Lord,
343
00:26:37,228 --> 00:26:39,969
that the thought
never even crossed my mind.
344
00:26:41,213 --> 00:26:42,282
Indeed.
345
00:26:43,495 --> 00:26:46,431
Then, if I were you,
I would sue my face for slander.
346
00:26:51,478 --> 00:26:54,595
Don't let me detain you.
347
00:27:30,375 --> 00:27:31,264
You.
348
00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:44,367
Alright, alright.
349
00:27:44,863 --> 00:27:45,827
I give in.
350
00:28:19,421 --> 00:28:20,490
Excuse me.
351
00:28:22,513 --> 00:28:24,029
Rincewind, you came back!
352
00:28:25,807 --> 00:28:28,269
- I knew you would.
- I... I just had to.
353
00:28:28,996 --> 00:28:31,469
It's exciting, isn't it?
A genuine tavern brawl.
354
00:28:31,731 --> 00:28:34,381
Better than anything
I could have imagined.
355
00:28:35,690 --> 00:28:37,240
Everybody say cheese!
356
00:28:40,691 --> 00:28:42,476
Do you think I should thank them or...
357
00:28:42,646 --> 00:28:44,496
Did you put them up to this?
358
00:28:46,091 --> 00:28:49,631
- That's where you were!
- I... I didn't like to mention it.
359
00:28:52,310 --> 00:28:53,269
Nice throw!
360
00:28:55,331 --> 00:28:56,770
We should be leaving.
361
00:29:03,066 --> 00:29:04,090
Shooni!
362
00:29:04,691 --> 00:29:06,755
- Beelziba!
- Smile!
363
00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:14,749
Magic!
364
00:29:15,660 --> 00:29:17,208
Collapsing spell.
365
00:29:18,337 --> 00:29:19,987
Come along, we gotta go.
366
00:29:39,531 --> 00:29:40,881
That's my luggage.
367
00:29:44,171 --> 00:29:45,149
One more time!
368
00:29:58,171 --> 00:29:59,097
Attaboy.
369
00:30:04,417 --> 00:30:06,646
So, where's Cohen The Barbarian?
370
00:30:08,732 --> 00:30:10,057
He's...
371
00:30:11,433 --> 00:30:12,969
right behind you.
372
00:30:14,283 --> 00:30:16,109
Look, we really ought to be going.
373
00:30:17,035 --> 00:30:18,190
Fantastic!
374
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,710
No one at home
is gonna believe this.
375
00:30:24,731 --> 00:30:28,090
All you do is rotate the lever
and the iconograph does the rest.
376
00:30:29,413 --> 00:30:30,558
You wait here.
377
00:30:33,151 --> 00:30:35,269
It's no good, I've run out of red.
378
00:30:35,531 --> 00:30:38,949
If you wanted red, you shouldn't have
took pictures of dwarves killing people.
379
00:30:39,211 --> 00:30:41,389
It's monochrome from now on,
friend, alright?
380
00:30:44,940 --> 00:30:46,474
That's the picture imp.
381
00:30:47,067 --> 00:30:48,874
Yes, of course it is.
382
00:30:49,393 --> 00:30:52,869
You know, Rincewind, I'd like
to have you in the picture as well.
383
00:30:53,293 --> 00:30:54,528
Smile please.
384
00:30:56,158 --> 00:30:57,829
Smile. Smile!
385
00:30:59,826 --> 00:31:01,588
What are we gonna see next?
386
00:31:10,091 --> 00:31:11,672
What a great day.
387
00:31:19,015 --> 00:31:21,002
That's my favourite, with Cohen.
388
00:31:36,405 --> 00:31:37,580
What the...
389
00:31:38,582 --> 00:31:40,013
Can you smell oil?
390
00:31:40,705 --> 00:31:41,970
I don't think so.
391
00:31:44,822 --> 00:31:46,689
I'll kill that bloody cat.
392
00:31:47,853 --> 00:31:49,464
Here, take this.
393
00:31:50,804 --> 00:31:51,934
Thanks.
394
00:31:52,331 --> 00:31:53,681
Don't mention it.
395
00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:58,677
Tavern fights are pretty common
around here, no?
396
00:31:58,847 --> 00:32:01,090
Yeah, well,
it's practically a sport.
397
00:32:02,024 --> 00:32:04,222
So, innkeepers must need
a lot of...
398
00:32:04,980 --> 00:32:08,281
well, in my language,
we'd call it in-ss-urance.
399
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,869
In-sewer-ants? That's a funny word,
what's it mean?
400
00:32:15,269 --> 00:32:17,829
Well, say you have
a tavern built of wood.
401
00:32:18,501 --> 00:32:19,947
It might burn down.
402
00:32:20,567 --> 00:32:22,219
You don't want that to happen,
403
00:32:22,389 --> 00:32:25,807
so you take out
an in-sewer-ants poly-cee.
404
00:32:26,891 --> 00:32:30,187
And then I work out the odds
against it burning down
405
00:32:30,488 --> 00:32:31,733
and then add a bit.
406
00:32:31,903 --> 00:32:34,842
And then you pay me some money,
based on those odds.
407
00:32:37,218 --> 00:32:38,438
Oh, no.
408
00:32:39,860 --> 00:32:41,088
But, yes.
409
00:32:44,100 --> 00:32:46,029
Well, then if it does burn down,
410
00:32:46,291 --> 00:32:48,753
I pay you the value of the tavern.
411
00:32:50,565 --> 00:32:52,627
It's a bit like a bet, right?
412
00:32:53,041 --> 00:32:55,314
A wager? Yes, I suppose it is.
413
00:32:58,371 --> 00:33:00,333
Are you sure you can't smell oil?
414
00:33:01,221 --> 00:33:03,088
No. I can smell burning.
415
00:33:31,956 --> 00:33:34,079
Did you in-sewer the Drum?
416
00:33:34,648 --> 00:33:38,469
Luckily for Broadman, I still have
the rhinu he paid as his first premium.
417
00:33:38,939 --> 00:33:42,291
You bet Broadman
that it wouldn't catch fire?
418
00:33:42,638 --> 00:33:45,935
Standard valuation 200 rhinu, why?
Why do you ask?
419
00:33:47,201 --> 00:33:49,445
You-You dozy idiot!
420
00:33:50,571 --> 00:33:53,663
Just carry on
as if I'm not here, Rincewind,
421
00:33:54,146 --> 00:33:56,179
your appointment is later.
422
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:58,489
What's next?
423
00:33:59,873 --> 00:34:00,954
What's next?!
424
00:34:01,124 --> 00:34:04,482
We'll be hung, drawn and quartered
if we stay here much longer.
425
00:34:04,738 --> 00:34:06,789
- Why?
- What do you mean, why? Why?!
426
00:34:07,051 --> 00:34:09,669
Look! The whole of Ankh-Morpork
is made of wood.
427
00:34:13,714 --> 00:34:16,424
- What about my luggage.
- Bugger your luggage!
428
00:34:29,730 --> 00:34:32,137
Tell you what,
whoever started that fire,
429
00:34:32,307 --> 00:34:34,215
it'd be wise for them
to find a fast horse
430
00:34:34,385 --> 00:34:36,435
and make themselves very scarce.
431
00:34:39,511 --> 00:34:41,709
Thank you very much, Twoflower.
432
00:34:41,971 --> 00:34:44,831
It says that Chirm
is lovely at this time of year.
433
00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:46,762
And very, very dangerous.
434
00:34:47,546 --> 00:34:48,585
Really?
435
00:34:53,053 --> 00:34:55,108
That's the oil bond store going up.
436
00:34:58,135 --> 00:34:59,029
Rincewind!
437
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:08,350
- Look at that over there.
- Oh, dear God, no.
438
00:35:13,333 --> 00:35:14,597
Oi! Oi, you!
439
00:35:15,216 --> 00:35:17,269
Come back here! That's my horse!
440
00:35:17,892 --> 00:35:18,909
Come back!
441
00:35:25,510 --> 00:35:27,016
I'm Rincewind.
442
00:35:29,331 --> 00:35:32,636
The Octavo,
greatest of all spell books,
443
00:35:33,078 --> 00:35:35,490
locked and chained
deep in the cellars
444
00:35:35,660 --> 00:35:37,459
of the Unseen University.
445
00:35:37,876 --> 00:35:40,029
The spells imprisoned in its pages
446
00:35:40,291 --> 00:35:42,229
lead a secret life of their own.
447
00:35:43,230 --> 00:35:45,715
And Rincewind's departure
from Ankh-Morpork
448
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:48,975
has left them deeply troubled.
449
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,090
I can't remember it
being like this before.
450
00:35:58,174 --> 00:36:01,155
Not since that time a young wizard...
451
00:36:04,105 --> 00:36:05,190
Oh, dear.
452
00:36:07,488 --> 00:36:09,325
I've expelled him, haven't I?
453
00:36:11,091 --> 00:36:13,218
Nobody knows where he is, Librarian.
454
00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:16,299
Not even the Patrician's
palace guard.
455
00:36:16,731 --> 00:36:20,075
Though they seem to think he'll turn up,
for some reason.
456
00:36:21,091 --> 00:36:21,969
Look,
457
00:36:22,481 --> 00:36:25,251
he's the only person
in living memory
458
00:36:25,808 --> 00:36:29,380
who has...
actually touched the Octavo
459
00:36:30,342 --> 00:36:31,789
with his bare hands.
460
00:36:32,249 --> 00:36:35,526
We have no idea the effect
it will have on him
461
00:36:35,696 --> 00:36:37,246
in the outside world.
462
00:36:38,406 --> 00:36:40,309
At least when he was a student,
463
00:36:40,830 --> 00:36:42,487
we knew where he was.
464
00:36:43,171 --> 00:36:45,370
Perhaps I've been a bit hasty.
465
00:36:46,441 --> 00:36:47,829
Who else knows about this?
466
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,829
Nobody, Arch Chancellor.
467
00:36:51,204 --> 00:36:52,029
Good.
468
00:36:52,866 --> 00:36:55,069
Let's keep it that way, shall we?
469
00:36:57,043 --> 00:36:59,869
Apart from Greyhold Spold,
of course.
470
00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:04,088
His days are probably
numbered anyway.
471
00:37:05,331 --> 00:37:08,460
On the subject of which,
I haven't seen old Narribolt
472
00:37:08,771 --> 00:37:09,721
recently.
473
00:37:10,854 --> 00:37:13,263
That's because he's dead,
Arch Chancellor.
474
00:37:15,016 --> 00:37:17,921
I'm just glad nobody wants to be
Head Librarian.
475
00:37:18,357 --> 00:37:19,829
Perish the thought, Horace.
476
00:37:20,911 --> 00:37:22,793
I am looking for a book.
477
00:37:27,260 --> 00:37:28,690
New shoes?
478
00:37:34,122 --> 00:37:35,628
And new hat.
479
00:37:37,411 --> 00:37:38,460
Mr Trymon.
480
00:38:20,207 --> 00:38:22,692
How very neat and tidy.
481
00:38:24,010 --> 00:38:25,069
Did you know...
482
00:38:25,331 --> 00:38:26,658
that in the event
483
00:38:26,828 --> 00:38:29,506
of the Arch Chancellor's sad demise,
484
00:38:30,363 --> 00:38:33,949
he would be succeeded
by Greyhold Spold.
485
00:38:35,495 --> 00:38:38,205
He's demonstrated
remarkable powers of survival.
486
00:38:40,564 --> 00:38:41,874
Up to now.
487
00:38:43,611 --> 00:38:47,553
I think it's very important
to strive for perfection, don't you?
488
00:38:48,820 --> 00:38:52,283
If you want to get
to the very top, sir, yes.
489
00:38:57,341 --> 00:38:59,617
The position of Head Librarian
490
00:38:59,787 --> 00:39:02,137
has never really appealed to you, sir?
491
00:39:08,811 --> 00:39:09,790
Good.
492
00:39:12,631 --> 00:39:13,949
It is quite possible
493
00:39:14,815 --> 00:39:17,118
that the next Arch Chancellor
494
00:39:17,645 --> 00:39:19,190
may well smile
495
00:39:19,777 --> 00:39:22,472
upon those
who understand the importance
496
00:39:22,803 --> 00:39:25,682
of things being well organised.
497
00:39:33,100 --> 00:39:35,250
Is everything in order down there?
498
00:39:35,812 --> 00:39:38,010
Absolutely. Everything is in...
499
00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:40,494
alphabetical order, quite.
500
00:39:57,451 --> 00:39:58,264
So,
501
00:39:58,866 --> 00:40:01,065
this is the famous Octavo.
502
00:40:01,306 --> 00:40:03,334
Famous and dangerous.
503
00:40:03,504 --> 00:40:05,553
How long has it been like this?
504
00:40:05,723 --> 00:40:09,021
It's always been a bit strange,
as far back as I can remember.
505
00:40:09,488 --> 00:40:11,589
But, for some reason,
it's got rather...
506
00:40:12,078 --> 00:40:13,358
lively.
507
00:40:15,336 --> 00:40:16,208
Why?
508
00:40:17,850 --> 00:40:18,950
I don't know.
509
00:40:21,665 --> 00:40:22,734
Who does?
510
00:40:26,152 --> 00:40:27,613
Greyhold Spold.
511
00:40:30,594 --> 00:40:31,904
Before my time.
512
00:40:33,808 --> 00:40:35,399
Greyhold Spold.
513
00:40:35,569 --> 00:40:37,349
How convenient.
514
00:41:00,570 --> 00:41:01,609
Rincewind?
515
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,279
Twoflower?
516
00:41:09,552 --> 00:41:11,148
Twoflower!
517
00:41:15,485 --> 00:41:16,991
Twoflower!
518
00:41:18,481 --> 00:41:21,161
"Pit of Ultimate Despair."
519
00:41:23,811 --> 00:41:25,558
"Dread Tower of Darkness."
520
00:41:33,103 --> 00:41:34,029
"Traveller."
521
00:41:35,091 --> 00:41:37,389
"The Hospitable Temple
522
00:41:37,755 --> 00:41:40,480
of Bel-Shamharoth
523
00:41:41,646 --> 00:41:45,109
lies a thousand paces hubwards."
524
00:41:48,248 --> 00:41:49,438
Hubwards.
525
00:41:55,881 --> 00:41:57,337
"The Wyrmberg
526
00:41:57,507 --> 00:42:00,323
and palace of the Dragon Lord
527
00:42:00,609 --> 00:42:02,250
lies a thousand paces
528
00:42:02,771 --> 00:42:03,721
rimwards."
529
00:42:06,537 --> 00:42:07,561
Dragons.
530
00:42:08,419 --> 00:42:10,569
I've always wanted to see dragons.
531
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:15,815
Dragons it is.
532
00:42:17,278 --> 00:42:18,422
Rincewind?!
533
00:42:27,371 --> 00:42:29,579
Your lifetime is up, Rincewind.
534
00:42:29,925 --> 00:42:32,861
- I can't hang around all day.
- I can.
535
00:42:34,334 --> 00:42:37,109
- What have you done with the tourist?
- Nothing.
536
00:42:38,228 --> 00:42:41,691
He was lured by the attraction
of the Wyrmberg.
537
00:42:41,958 --> 00:42:43,309
So at least the Patrician
538
00:42:43,571 --> 00:42:46,549
won't be sending out his men to kill me
just yet then.
539
00:42:46,816 --> 00:42:48,845
There is a distinct possibility
540
00:42:49,015 --> 00:42:51,273
that he may not need to.
541
00:42:58,725 --> 00:43:00,487
What are you grinning at?
542
00:43:01,531 --> 00:43:03,109
I'm sorry, I can't help it.
543
00:43:04,164 --> 00:43:08,019
Now, would you be so kind
as to let go?
544
00:43:09,011 --> 00:43:10,029
It won't hurt.
545
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,629
Getting torn to pieces
by wolves won't hurt?
546
00:43:13,891 --> 00:43:15,841
It will be over very quickly.
547
00:43:16,451 --> 00:43:18,429
And, of course,
they are an endangered species.
548
00:43:32,652 --> 00:43:33,962
Atoni.
549
00:43:36,407 --> 00:43:38,229
Who are you?!
550
00:43:46,396 --> 00:43:47,430
Oh, dear.
551
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,889
I wonder if it was something I said.
552
00:43:56,222 --> 00:43:59,655
Don't think I owe you
a debt of gratitude.
553
00:43:59,994 --> 00:44:02,670
One of the consolations
of being eaten by wolves
554
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,365
was the fact that
I would never have to have
555
00:44:05,535 --> 00:44:08,568
a near-death experience again,
thanks to your owner!
556
00:44:09,387 --> 00:44:10,993
737, 738,
557
00:44:11,163 --> 00:44:12,865
739. Dragons.
558
00:44:13,377 --> 00:44:16,949
Dragons. 741, 742, 743.
559
00:44:18,768 --> 00:44:20,047
Dragons?
560
00:44:20,870 --> 00:44:23,325
Nobody believes in them any more.
561
00:45:44,782 --> 00:45:48,376
I never really wanted
to be Arch Chancellor anyway,
562
00:45:48,546 --> 00:45:50,549
so, if you're here for -
563
00:45:50,811 --> 00:45:52,418
For the Octavo,
564
00:45:52,749 --> 00:45:53,713
Mr Spold.
565
00:45:55,264 --> 00:45:56,920
You're not here to...
566
00:45:58,761 --> 00:46:00,778
What about the Octavo?
567
00:46:01,606 --> 00:46:05,430
It's rather...
troubled at the moment.
568
00:46:06,256 --> 00:46:09,508
And it seems that you might be able
to tell me why.
569
00:46:12,723 --> 00:46:15,524
It's not all there, you know?
570
00:46:16,386 --> 00:46:17,847
As in mad?
571
00:46:18,991 --> 00:46:20,000
As in...
572
00:46:20,858 --> 00:46:23,614
one spell short of eight.
573
00:46:27,358 --> 00:46:30,269
One of the eight spells is missing?
574
00:46:33,416 --> 00:46:35,669
Well, that's rather badly organised.
575
00:46:36,798 --> 00:46:39,869
Certainly extremely dangerous.
576
00:46:42,012 --> 00:46:43,729
So, where is it now?
577
00:46:45,891 --> 00:46:48,964
Do think very carefully, Mr Spold.
578
00:46:50,286 --> 00:46:51,114
I...
579
00:46:52,334 --> 00:46:54,397
really wish I did know,
580
00:46:55,539 --> 00:46:56,788
Mr Trymon.
581
00:47:40,860 --> 00:47:43,119
Try breathing through this.
582
00:48:00,554 --> 00:48:03,324
Dark in here, isn't it?
583
00:48:21,252 --> 00:48:22,758
Fire's gone out.
584
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:21,629
Rincewind!
585
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,309
Attaboy,
and you've brought the luggage.
586
00:49:25,848 --> 00:49:27,233
It brought me.
587
00:49:32,446 --> 00:49:34,096
It's amazing, isn't it?
588
00:49:34,358 --> 00:49:37,149
Yes, if you like
the physically impossible.
589
00:49:37,411 --> 00:49:39,161
I think it's just amazing.
590
00:49:39,460 --> 00:49:41,177
Bit under populated though.
591
00:49:42,137 --> 00:49:42,949
Listen.
592
00:49:43,740 --> 00:49:46,952
- Could it be the home of the dragons?
- Don't be ridiculous!
593
00:49:47,208 --> 00:49:48,389
Dragons don't exist.
594
00:49:48,651 --> 00:49:50,509
All my life,
I've wanted to see dragons.
595
00:49:57,964 --> 00:49:58,988
I think...
596
00:50:07,851 --> 00:50:09,149
I don't believe in them!
597
00:50:09,411 --> 00:50:10,761
They don't exist!
598
00:50:28,321 --> 00:50:31,137
No, I just dazed, actually.
599
00:50:32,194 --> 00:50:33,564
Who said that?
600
00:50:33,865 --> 00:50:35,629
Well, don't just lie there.
601
00:50:35,891 --> 00:50:37,949
- Pull me out!
- What?
602
00:50:38,348 --> 00:50:40,069
Come on, come on, pull me out.
603
00:50:41,676 --> 00:50:43,362
You... You spoke!
604
00:50:44,371 --> 00:50:46,029
I'm a magic sword.
605
00:50:46,922 --> 00:50:50,069
You weren't born with a birth mark
in the shape of a crown, were you?
606
00:50:51,078 --> 00:50:52,609
No? Oh, just asking.
607
00:50:53,331 --> 00:50:55,941
- Were you with the other fellow?
- Might have been.
608
00:50:56,111 --> 00:50:58,069
It's just the dragon's got him,
609
00:50:58,442 --> 00:51:01,530
and so I expect you'll be in a hurry
to slay the dragon
610
00:51:01,700 --> 00:51:04,789
and rescue him
in a fantastic feat of derring-do!
611
00:51:05,693 --> 00:51:07,123
Not really, no.
612
00:51:07,596 --> 00:51:08,429
Come on.
613
00:51:11,191 --> 00:51:12,200
Come on!
614
00:51:17,202 --> 00:51:19,204
Right, take a firm grip.
615
00:51:19,745 --> 00:51:21,265
That's good.
616
00:51:22,575 --> 00:51:23,825
Could be worse,
617
00:51:24,005 --> 00:51:25,827
this could have been an anvil.
618
00:51:28,772 --> 00:51:29,871
Finally!
619
00:51:31,780 --> 00:51:34,269
The dragon's headed hubwards!
620
00:51:36,522 --> 00:51:38,268
Even if they did exist,
621
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,069
I'm not cut out for dragons.
622
00:51:41,409 --> 00:51:42,538
Nothing to it.
623
00:51:42,959 --> 00:51:44,269
I'll show you!
624
00:51:47,971 --> 00:51:50,559
Right, I suggest we start
with the one in the trees.
625
00:51:50,729 --> 00:51:51,933
Over there.
626
00:51:55,796 --> 00:51:57,030
No, you don't.
627
00:52:06,921 --> 00:52:08,989
You see, there's nothing there.
628
00:52:11,269 --> 00:52:13,469
You can start with her instead.
629
00:52:17,673 --> 00:52:20,069
I don't know how to be a hero.
630
00:52:20,579 --> 00:52:21,673
Obviously.
631
00:52:21,843 --> 00:52:24,069
But I propose to teach you.
632
00:52:24,331 --> 00:52:25,909
Look, I'll be frank,
633
00:52:26,171 --> 00:52:29,229
I've worked with far better material
than you but it's either that...
634
00:52:29,927 --> 00:52:31,709
or I'll chop your head off!
635
00:52:35,502 --> 00:52:37,761
- I mean it.
- Alright, alright.
636
00:52:41,575 --> 00:52:42,659
Good boy.
637
00:53:09,359 --> 00:53:11,859
There's an ambitious wizard
on the loose.
638
00:53:12,859 --> 00:53:16,269
I think a certain degree of...
vigilance would be in order.
639
00:53:17,900 --> 00:53:20,979
Especially if he's talked to Trymon.
640
00:53:26,998 --> 00:53:28,730
Any suggestions?
641
00:53:29,136 --> 00:53:30,928
Well, obviously, you attack.
642
00:53:32,611 --> 00:53:34,461
Why didn't I think of that?
643
00:53:36,211 --> 00:53:37,589
Because you're a defeatist.
644
00:53:38,084 --> 00:53:39,909
On your marks,
645
00:53:40,858 --> 00:53:42,109
get set,
646
00:53:43,131 --> 00:53:43,934
go!
647
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:58,269
I ever tell you about the time
I was thrown into a lake?
648
00:54:00,303 --> 00:54:03,117
Let's have a look at you... madam!
649
00:54:04,020 --> 00:54:05,450
Where is the tourist?
650
00:54:05,811 --> 00:54:08,349
He's been taken back
to the Wyrmberg.
651
00:54:09,171 --> 00:54:10,589
What is this Wyrmberg?
652
00:54:10,851 --> 00:54:12,589
The Wyrmberg.
653
00:54:12,995 --> 00:54:14,389
It is dragon home.
654
00:54:16,178 --> 00:54:17,629
They don't exist.
655
00:54:17,891 --> 00:54:21,109
But I suppose you'll be wanting
to rescue your friend?
656
00:54:21,371 --> 00:54:22,821
My point precisely.
657
00:54:23,275 --> 00:54:24,589
He's not my friend.
658
00:54:25,202 --> 00:54:27,229
But I suppose you'd better take me
to this...
659
00:54:27,852 --> 00:54:29,613
Wyrmberg of yours.
660
00:54:31,086 --> 00:54:32,065
Listen.
661
00:54:40,084 --> 00:54:43,105
I didn't... I didn't know dragons
were see-through!
662
00:54:43,275 --> 00:54:44,706
- Didn't you?
- No!
663
00:54:50,041 --> 00:54:52,629
Watch him as we get closer
to the Wyrmberg.
664
00:54:59,588 --> 00:55:02,720
That, at least,
is very marginally better.
665
00:55:37,566 --> 00:55:39,309
- Jump now.
- What?!
666
00:55:42,451 --> 00:55:43,650
Surrender.
667
00:55:45,005 --> 00:55:45,909
Never.
668
00:55:47,143 --> 00:55:47,989
Never.
669
00:55:48,251 --> 00:55:49,408
Of course not.
670
00:55:49,578 --> 00:55:51,309
He's a hero, isn't he?
671
00:55:51,571 --> 00:55:52,949
I taught him myself.
672
00:55:58,915 --> 00:56:00,992
And what is your name, hero?
673
00:56:02,646 --> 00:56:05,469
So that we know... who you were.
674
00:56:06,097 --> 00:56:07,317
My name is...
675
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:09,726
is...
676
00:56:10,307 --> 00:56:11,989
Rincewind of Ankh.
677
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,824
And I am Liessa Dragonlady.
678
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:18,109
You are to challenge me
in mortal combat.
679
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:20,544
No. No, I can't.
680
00:56:21,011 --> 00:56:22,389
You are mistaken.
681
00:56:24,338 --> 00:56:27,709
Liort, help our hero
into a pair of hog boots.
682
00:56:29,378 --> 00:56:32,269
I am sure he is anxious
to get started.
683
00:56:32,611 --> 00:56:33,699
No, really!
684
00:56:39,298 --> 00:56:42,914
- If you are looking after my...
- You will see your friend soon enough.
685
00:56:43,084 --> 00:56:44,909
If you are religious, I mean.
686
00:56:45,545 --> 00:56:48,909
None who enter the Wyrmberg
ever leave again.
687
00:56:50,131 --> 00:56:52,543
Except metaphorically speaking,
of course.
688
00:57:06,459 --> 00:57:07,573
My Trymon.
689
00:57:08,271 --> 00:57:09,949
Good day, Arch Chancellor.
690
00:57:13,306 --> 00:57:16,047
New new shoes and hat, huh?
691
00:57:17,048 --> 00:57:18,990
Well, you came to see me?
692
00:57:20,125 --> 00:57:23,572
I've taken the liberty
of doing a little research.
693
00:57:24,521 --> 00:57:27,081
About the Octavo, perhaps?
694
00:57:28,951 --> 00:57:30,241
It appears
695
00:57:30,411 --> 00:57:32,429
that one of the great spells is missing
696
00:57:34,657 --> 00:57:38,461
And you were wondering,
purely for administrative purposes,
697
00:57:38,631 --> 00:57:40,481
where it might have got to.
698
00:57:42,691 --> 00:57:44,740
Do you know, Arch Chancellor?
699
00:57:46,948 --> 00:57:48,120
If I did...
700
00:57:48,614 --> 00:57:50,210
I think I've forgotten.
701
00:57:54,222 --> 00:57:55,622
Old Spold did.
702
00:57:58,242 --> 00:57:59,291
Too late.
703
00:57:59,461 --> 00:58:02,269
He's already popped
his pointy shoes, hasn't he?
704
00:58:02,955 --> 00:58:04,681
He always had difficulty breathing,
705
00:58:04,851 --> 00:58:07,853
even before he managed
to seal himself,
706
00:58:08,816 --> 00:58:10,367
in his own room,
707
00:58:10,917 --> 00:58:12,269
from the outside.
708
00:58:14,508 --> 00:58:16,871
Great shame about Spold.
709
00:58:34,296 --> 00:58:35,561
Just clouds.
710
00:58:39,043 --> 00:58:41,904
I expect this is all some sort
of a misunderstanding.
711
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:45,577
I expect they'll release me soon.
They seem rather civilised.
712
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:49,366
And when I get back,...
713
00:58:49,877 --> 00:58:52,029
I can tell people that I saw dragons.
714
00:58:54,252 --> 00:58:55,471
Imagine that.
715
00:59:02,307 --> 00:59:03,361
Dragons.
716
00:59:22,011 --> 00:59:23,531
I obey, Lord.
717
00:59:25,660 --> 00:59:26,564
Obey?
718
00:59:27,862 --> 00:59:29,879
Of course, Lord.
719
00:59:31,926 --> 00:59:32,905
Open it?
720
00:59:55,864 --> 00:59:57,234
Arch Chancellor?
721
01:00:10,737 --> 01:00:12,137
Arch Chancellor?
722
01:00:17,011 --> 01:00:18,457
Such a great shame.
723
01:00:19,979 --> 01:00:20,972
About?
724
01:00:24,329 --> 01:00:25,669
Spold, you mean?
725
01:00:27,378 --> 01:00:30,160
- Is that all, Trymon?
- Yes, Arch Chancellor.
726
01:00:30,330 --> 01:00:32,393
Very good. Oh, Trymon?
727
01:00:33,808 --> 01:00:37,120
As you leave, could you tidy
the sprung heavy axe device
728
01:00:37,377 --> 01:00:39,857
some prankster student
has rigged above my door?
729
01:00:40,027 --> 01:00:41,469
It seems to have...
730
01:00:41,849 --> 01:00:42,993
malfunctioned.
731
01:00:44,877 --> 01:00:47,632
I shall have it seen to,
Arch Chancellor.
732
01:00:53,291 --> 01:00:56,979
And I do hope Spold's shoes
are not too small for you.
733
01:01:23,612 --> 01:01:25,388
We fight to the death.
734
01:01:26,295 --> 01:01:27,409
Yours.
735
01:01:29,166 --> 01:01:31,741
I suppose I ought to warn you that...
736
01:01:32,291 --> 01:01:33,959
I have a magic sword.
737
01:01:34,968 --> 01:01:38,115
- That's me.
- What a coincidence.
738
01:01:38,629 --> 01:01:39,668
Hello!
739
01:01:40,731 --> 01:01:41,956
He-llo.
740
01:01:43,444 --> 01:01:44,789
Prepare to be defeated.
741
01:01:45,051 --> 01:01:46,501
I don't think so...
742
01:02:00,247 --> 01:02:01,709
Going well, isn't it?
743
01:02:06,052 --> 01:02:08,389
Call yourself a magic sword? Pah!
744
01:02:08,774 --> 01:02:10,250
Yeah, I do, actually.
745
01:02:18,051 --> 01:02:19,429
Hang on, Rincewind.
746
01:02:19,691 --> 01:02:22,069
Let go, damn you, or we'll both die.
747
01:02:22,331 --> 01:02:23,829
That's easy for you to say.
748
01:02:25,683 --> 01:02:28,869
What don't you save me?
What have you got to lose?
749
01:02:31,051 --> 01:02:32,230
Is that you?
750
01:02:34,208 --> 01:02:35,608
Does that mean...
751
01:02:36,286 --> 01:02:37,749
that I'm gonna die?
752
01:02:38,011 --> 01:02:38,821
Let go!
753
01:02:44,939 --> 01:02:47,058
You're a fine-looking dragon,
by the way.
754
01:02:47,228 --> 01:02:49,532
Even if you did just turn up.
755
01:02:49,969 --> 01:02:51,986
You summoned me, Master.
756
01:02:52,891 --> 01:02:55,210
You have... the power.
757
01:02:55,691 --> 01:02:58,507
You mean, I just thought of you
and there you were?
758
01:03:01,832 --> 01:03:03,980
But I've thought of dragons all my life.
759
01:03:04,150 --> 01:03:06,509
The power only works
near the Wyrmberg.
760
01:03:06,918 --> 01:03:09,293
As the dragons fly further away,
761
01:03:09,463 --> 01:03:12,188
we begin to dwindle and fade.
762
01:03:13,474 --> 01:03:15,690
All Dragonlords have the power,
763
01:03:15,860 --> 01:03:18,509
as, of course,
does the Dragonlady Liessa,
764
01:03:18,771 --> 01:03:19,900
who, incidentally,
765
01:03:20,070 --> 01:03:22,469
is trying to hack your friend
to pieces as we speak.
766
01:03:23,142 --> 01:03:24,798
- What?!
- Shoot him!
767
01:03:33,331 --> 01:03:34,909
Ashoni!
768
01:03:38,304 --> 01:03:40,149
Ebriate!
769
01:03:49,955 --> 01:03:51,883
Oh, no, not you!
770
01:04:06,451 --> 01:04:08,888
How was that? You alright?
What's the matter?
771
01:04:09,058 --> 01:04:12,094
- Aren't you scared of heights?
- No, why should I be?
772
01:04:12,264 --> 01:04:15,692
You're just as dead if you fall
from 40 feet as from 4,000 fathoms,
773
01:04:15,862 --> 01:04:17,062
that's what I say.
774
01:04:17,232 --> 01:04:19,265
It's not the actual falling,
775
01:04:19,641 --> 01:04:22,742
it's more the hitting
that worries me.
776
01:04:23,724 --> 01:04:26,229
Do you think dragons can fly
all the way to the stars?
777
01:04:26,491 --> 01:04:28,334
That would be something.
778
01:04:28,504 --> 01:04:30,130
I think you might be mad.
779
01:04:31,982 --> 01:04:33,509
That's where we camped.
780
01:04:33,879 --> 01:04:37,071
- I didn't tell you about the time...
- The sword!
781
01:04:37,508 --> 01:04:39,254
- You alright?
- Oh, yeah.
782
01:04:40,941 --> 01:04:43,305
Come on, now! Hyagh! Hyagh!
783
01:04:45,444 --> 01:04:46,423
Hello?!
784
01:04:47,371 --> 01:04:48,967
Magic sword here!
785
01:04:49,826 --> 01:04:52,789
If anyone can hear me out there,
what I could do with now is someone
786
01:04:53,051 --> 01:04:56,699
who doesn't realize they're an orphan
born in mysterious circumstances.
787
01:04:58,487 --> 01:05:00,023
Are you alright?
788
01:05:04,525 --> 01:05:06,362
What's happening to the air?
789
01:05:09,582 --> 01:05:10,711
Oh, my.
790
01:05:16,538 --> 01:05:17,629
Dragons.
791
01:05:18,043 --> 01:05:19,715
Dragons, think of dragons.
792
01:05:20,829 --> 01:05:22,169
Think of dragons!
793
01:05:27,974 --> 01:05:29,419
It won't work.
794
01:05:30,035 --> 01:05:31,829
You don't really believe in them.
795
01:05:34,338 --> 01:05:35,603
Dragons!
796
01:05:46,133 --> 01:05:49,535
Meanwhile,
at the very edge of the world,
797
01:05:49,893 --> 01:05:52,919
the Krullians have not given up
on their quest
798
01:05:53,250 --> 01:05:56,352
to determine the sex of the turtle.
799
01:06:06,034 --> 01:06:08,624
Are the chelonauts ready,
launch controller?
800
01:06:08,910 --> 01:06:12,373
- Indeed, Arch Astronomer.
- How long to the doorway?
801
01:06:13,171 --> 01:06:16,226
The launch window,
your... Prominence.
802
01:06:18,546 --> 01:06:22,411
12 hours, when Great A'Tuin's tail
will be in an unmatched position
803
01:06:22,581 --> 01:06:24,599
to determine its... sex.
804
01:06:25,460 --> 01:06:27,101
And all that remains
805
01:06:27,418 --> 01:06:31,257
is to find
an appropriate couple of sacrifices.
806
01:06:32,492 --> 01:06:34,088
The ocean shall provide.
807
01:06:35,157 --> 01:06:36,618
It always does.
808
01:06:42,612 --> 01:06:44,208
Look at the horizon.
809
01:06:45,051 --> 01:06:46,201
It's alright.
810
01:06:48,862 --> 01:06:52,295
Admittedly, there seems to be
a lot less than there usually is.
811
01:06:52,596 --> 01:06:54,584
We're being carried over the edge!
812
01:07:06,849 --> 01:07:09,269
We're going to run out of world!
813
01:07:09,531 --> 01:07:11,669
We are?
I absolutely have to see that!
814
01:07:21,131 --> 01:07:22,064
Help!
815
01:07:23,980 --> 01:07:25,200
Rincewind.
816
01:07:42,352 --> 01:07:45,409
Don't mind me.
I've got a book to read.
817
01:07:46,309 --> 01:07:48,989
I don't want to leave this world!
818
01:07:52,971 --> 01:07:55,879
A prospect immensely troubling
819
01:07:56,240 --> 01:07:57,858
to the Octavo.
820
01:08:03,342 --> 01:08:04,309
It's you.
821
01:08:08,705 --> 01:08:10,749
I just came to see
Arch Chancellor Weatherwax.
822
01:08:12,114 --> 01:08:13,509
Do you have an appointment?
823
01:08:13,771 --> 01:08:15,549
I've never needed an appointment before.
824
01:08:16,043 --> 01:08:18,949
Well, the Arch Chancellor's
never been organised before.
825
01:08:19,523 --> 01:08:21,044
- It's just...
- Look,
826
01:08:21,812 --> 01:08:23,132
The Arch Chancellor
827
01:08:23,302 --> 01:08:26,269
is going to have been very ill,
quite soon.
828
01:08:26,599 --> 01:08:28,677
And must not be disturbed.
829
01:08:45,126 --> 01:08:46,631
Can you smell burning?
830
01:08:55,484 --> 01:08:57,534
Have I been smoking in my sleep?
831
01:09:02,420 --> 01:09:05,100
I could have sworn
I was wearing my shoes.
832
01:09:07,254 --> 01:09:09,392
Why don't you come with me instead?
833
01:09:10,175 --> 01:09:13,618
There's something I know
you really want to show me.
834
01:09:22,171 --> 01:09:23,188
Trymon.
835
01:09:23,533 --> 01:09:24,843
Oh, dear.
836
01:09:40,307 --> 01:09:43,841
You'd better not monkey around with it,
or who knows what'll happen.
837
01:09:44,192 --> 01:09:46,747
The last person who went near it...
838
01:09:49,651 --> 01:09:51,579
It was a long time ago.
839
01:09:52,739 --> 01:09:53,949
All I'm saying is...
840
01:09:54,952 --> 01:09:57,993
he never passed any exams after.
841
01:10:06,101 --> 01:10:09,533
As a matter of interest,
after the last time,
842
01:10:10,527 --> 01:10:14,304
what exactly did they do...
to Rincewind?
843
01:10:15,840 --> 01:10:18,053
I never said anything
about Rincewind.
844
01:10:18,611 --> 01:10:19,790
Rincewind?
845
01:10:20,935 --> 01:10:22,349
Did I say Rincewind?
846
01:10:23,167 --> 01:10:26,976
I meant whichever perpetual
student wizard it was,
847
01:10:27,611 --> 01:10:29,789
who monkeyed around with the Octavo.
848
01:10:31,451 --> 01:10:32,509
Rincewind.
849
01:10:35,260 --> 01:10:36,207
So...
850
01:10:36,708 --> 01:10:39,704
when the spell left the Octavo,
851
01:10:41,412 --> 01:10:44,198
where, exactly, did it go?
852
01:10:54,477 --> 01:10:57,509
- Get off, will you?!
- Are you saying you want me to stop?
853
01:10:57,771 --> 01:11:00,560
- Yes, stop, will you?!
- Stop saving your life?
854
01:11:01,291 --> 01:11:02,966
That's actually twice now.
855
01:11:05,250 --> 01:11:06,364
Thank you.
856
01:11:06,906 --> 01:11:08,031
Say again?
857
01:11:08,201 --> 01:11:10,640
I said thank you!
858
01:11:15,281 --> 01:11:17,417
Stop that. Will you stop that?!
859
01:11:17,587 --> 01:11:19,590
Look, a polite shake of the hand,
860
01:11:20,902 --> 01:11:24,773
having first checked
for poison needles in the palm,
861
01:11:25,406 --> 01:11:27,072
in that old, quaint,
862
01:11:27,242 --> 01:11:29,789
Ankh-Morporkean tradition,
863
01:11:30,138 --> 01:11:31,469
would be sufficient!
864
01:11:35,514 --> 01:11:37,351
I'm on the edge of the world!
865
01:11:38,253 --> 01:11:41,229
Seeing things that most people
can only dream of.
866
01:11:42,557 --> 01:11:45,052
On an adventure
of visions and wonders,
867
01:11:45,222 --> 01:11:47,149
unimaginable in one lifetime.
868
01:11:49,985 --> 01:11:51,949
It's all thanks to you, Rincewind.
869
01:11:54,759 --> 01:11:57,189
You forgot the near-death
experiences.
870
01:11:58,580 --> 01:12:01,229
I like to think of them
as edge-of-life ones.
871
01:12:01,601 --> 01:12:03,313
With the best guide
872
01:12:03,483 --> 01:12:06,234
a little old in-sewerance clerk
from Bes Pelargi
873
01:12:06,404 --> 01:12:07,910
could ever hope for.
874
01:12:25,352 --> 01:12:27,502
I would have been fine, of course.
875
01:12:28,755 --> 01:12:31,028
Even falling from the Wyrmberg.
876
01:12:31,772 --> 01:12:35,349
Because to stop falling
to certain death
877
01:12:35,792 --> 01:12:38,232
is only a Level Two spell.
878
01:12:40,969 --> 01:12:42,219
Actually, I was
879
01:12:43,131 --> 01:12:45,681
sort of hoping
that you could do some...
880
01:12:46,723 --> 01:12:47,686
you know?
881
01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:49,589
What, magic?
882
01:12:52,620 --> 01:12:53,798
Like what?
883
01:12:55,560 --> 01:12:58,349
In a fight,
you could turn people into worms.
884
01:13:00,629 --> 01:13:04,381
Turning people into animals
is an eighth-level spell.
885
01:13:23,517 --> 01:13:24,469
Look...
886
01:13:26,571 --> 01:13:29,962
the thing is, I never really
completed my training.
887
01:13:34,491 --> 01:13:36,298
I only know one spell.
888
01:13:38,990 --> 01:13:41,022
And even that I got by accident.
889
01:13:42,674 --> 01:13:44,149
What does it do?
890
01:13:46,079 --> 01:13:47,690
Well, I don't know.
891
01:13:48,157 --> 01:13:50,295
I suppose it could do anything.
892
01:13:52,192 --> 01:13:55,309
But it's from
the greatest spell book of all.
893
01:13:57,005 --> 01:13:58,315
The Octavo.
894
01:13:59,171 --> 01:14:00,423
The Octavo?
895
01:14:04,785 --> 01:14:06,396
How did you learn it?
896
01:14:07,091 --> 01:14:10,615
When I was a much younger student
at the University,
897
01:14:11,756 --> 01:14:15,189
I agreed to open the Octavo
for a bet.
898
01:14:17,091 --> 01:14:19,041
Pint of beer, I think it was.
899
01:14:20,224 --> 01:14:22,678
It was as if it was waiting for me.
900
01:14:31,775 --> 01:14:33,486
I only had a second
901
01:14:33,656 --> 01:14:35,925
before the spell leapt from the book
902
01:14:36,095 --> 01:14:39,314
and settled in my memory
like a toad in a stone.
903
01:14:47,832 --> 01:14:50,899
- Well, then what happened?
- Well, they dragged me out
904
01:14:51,069 --> 01:14:52,919
and thrashed me, of course.
905
01:14:53,743 --> 01:14:55,641
Never did get the pint of beer.
906
01:14:57,460 --> 01:14:59,609
What did the spell say, exactly?
907
01:15:00,139 --> 01:15:02,066
It had vanished from the page,
908
01:15:02,864 --> 01:15:05,710
so nobody will know what it says
until I say it.
909
01:15:06,772 --> 01:15:08,468
Or until I die, of course,
910
01:15:08,638 --> 01:15:11,304
and then it'll, sort of, say itself.
911
01:15:13,328 --> 01:15:15,878
- And nobody knows...
- ... what it does?
912
01:15:17,632 --> 01:15:20,839
To know that, you would need
to be Arch Chancellor.
913
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:24,589
Now you tell me!
914
01:15:38,036 --> 01:15:40,475
Why didn't we go over the edge?
915
01:15:42,077 --> 01:15:44,054
Because our log hit that rope.
916
01:15:46,061 --> 01:15:48,149
I think it's called the Circumfence.
917
01:15:48,411 --> 01:15:50,613
It runs around
the edge of the world.
918
01:15:51,005 --> 01:15:52,877
No, you mean the circumference.
919
01:15:53,047 --> 01:15:56,294
The circumference goes round
the edge of things.
920
01:15:56,992 --> 01:15:58,605
So does the Circumfence.
921
01:16:09,482 --> 01:16:11,423
I suppose that's the Rimbow.
922
01:16:14,409 --> 01:16:16,172
It's just so beautiful.
923
01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:20,211
Great.
924
01:16:21,463 --> 01:16:23,700
It's a nice view before we die.
925
01:16:26,623 --> 01:16:28,880
Do you see the eighth colour?
926
01:16:31,456 --> 01:16:33,760
That's the colour of magic.
927
01:16:43,120 --> 01:16:45,917
Bet you there are a lot
of other worlds down there.
928
01:16:46,087 --> 01:16:49,229
Yes, quite a number.
Look, there's one.
929
01:16:51,942 --> 01:16:54,799
Hey, that star's new.
Perhaps we should name it.
930
01:16:55,129 --> 01:16:57,764
What's the point? Who will we tell?
931
01:16:58,923 --> 01:17:00,990
We're never gonna get off this rock.
932
01:17:01,160 --> 01:17:02,989
Unless we get in the boat.
933
01:17:03,251 --> 01:17:05,801
Well, unless we get in the...
What boat?
934
01:17:06,569 --> 01:17:07,690
That boat.
935
01:17:10,571 --> 01:17:13,240
Of course, I could stay here forever.
936
01:17:14,174 --> 01:17:17,679
On balance, I know
I should be very suspicious of that boat
937
01:17:17,849 --> 01:17:20,929
but I do like the idea
of getting back to dry land.
938
01:17:23,226 --> 01:17:24,579
Are you sure?
939
01:17:30,068 --> 01:17:31,154
I'm sure.
940
01:18:10,271 --> 01:18:11,909
Civilisation.
941
01:18:17,451 --> 01:18:20,029
Lovely to see you're still here,
Arch Chancellor.
942
01:18:20,291 --> 01:18:23,377
Do you know what happens...
when a wizard dies?
943
01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:27,954
All the spells that he has memorised
say themselves.
944
01:18:28,891 --> 01:18:31,191
It's one of the first things we learn.
945
01:18:31,493 --> 01:18:33,893
It's not quite true
with the eight great spells.
946
01:18:34,063 --> 01:18:36,447
A great spell
will simply find refuge
947
01:18:36,617 --> 01:18:40,075
in the nearest mind ready
and open to receive it.
948
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:01,065
There you are.
949
01:19:11,267 --> 01:19:14,309
You are going to recapture the spell...
950
01:19:14,845 --> 01:19:16,074
from its host?
951
01:19:16,819 --> 01:19:20,629
Allow for wind speed,
say, three knots.
952
01:19:20,998 --> 01:19:22,832
Adjust for temperature.
953
01:19:26,636 --> 01:19:27,609
There.
954
01:19:28,683 --> 01:19:32,155
Of course, it'll take a while
to get there and kill Rincewind,
955
01:19:32,479 --> 01:19:34,968
then the spell will
immediately return
956
01:19:35,138 --> 01:19:36,858
along the ionised path,
957
01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:39,385
back here, to me.
958
01:19:40,578 --> 01:19:42,020
Remarkable.
959
01:19:43,820 --> 01:19:45,423
If, dare I say...
960
01:19:46,117 --> 01:19:47,791
a little old fashioned.
961
01:19:48,663 --> 01:19:51,865
As for what happens
when all eight spells
962
01:19:52,035 --> 01:19:53,415
are spoken together,
963
01:19:53,585 --> 01:19:56,109
it might interest a wizard now,
is it not?
964
01:19:57,279 --> 01:20:00,094
Especially when they aspire...
965
01:20:01,054 --> 01:20:02,629
to wear the big shoes of all.
966
01:20:03,676 --> 01:20:05,688
Becoming your second
967
01:20:05,993 --> 01:20:09,179
has always been
the limit of my ambition.
968
01:20:09,500 --> 01:20:10,909
Yes, of course it has.
969
01:20:11,171 --> 01:20:14,254
I wish only to acquire knowledge,
master.
970
01:20:15,397 --> 01:20:17,320
Which, as we know,...
971
01:20:18,211 --> 01:20:19,242
is power.
972
01:20:19,971 --> 01:20:22,760
And so, for the furtherance
973
01:20:23,107 --> 01:20:24,923
of my knowledge, master,
974
01:20:26,403 --> 01:20:28,661
when the eight spells are said...
975
01:20:28,831 --> 01:20:31,489
To receive that ultimate nugget,
976
01:20:31,659 --> 01:20:34,229
you'll have to do much better than that,
young man.
977
01:20:36,727 --> 01:20:38,680
I congratulate you, master,
978
01:20:38,971 --> 01:20:41,447
I can see that we must all get up
very early in the morning
979
01:20:41,617 --> 01:20:43,613
if we are to get the better of you.
980
01:20:43,783 --> 01:20:45,204
Early in the morning?
981
01:20:45,374 --> 01:20:48,469
My dear lad, you'll have to stay up
all night.
982
01:20:49,691 --> 01:20:50,536
Come.
983
01:20:52,435 --> 01:20:53,271
Galder.
984
01:20:54,531 --> 01:20:55,629
It's the Octavo.
985
01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:59,710
It's going... really ape.
986
01:21:08,461 --> 01:21:09,324
Right.
987
01:21:10,135 --> 01:21:11,559
What's going on here?
988
01:21:14,480 --> 01:21:16,389
Why are the spells so restless?
989
01:21:18,574 --> 01:21:19,518
The key.
990
01:21:54,471 --> 01:21:56,720
So, back in civilisation.
991
01:21:58,446 --> 01:22:01,549
Yes, it looks like civilisation to me.
992
01:22:01,880 --> 01:22:03,629
Welcome to Krull.
993
01:22:04,474 --> 01:22:06,147
My name is Marchesa.
994
01:22:07,616 --> 01:22:10,469
I hope you're not proposing
to enslave us.
995
01:22:10,731 --> 01:22:12,038
Certainly not.
996
01:22:12,651 --> 01:22:14,989
- Good.
- You will, in fact, be sacrificed.
997
01:22:16,859 --> 01:22:19,589
Thank you for another fine mess,
Twoflower.
998
01:22:22,614 --> 01:22:23,869
Come on!
999
01:22:40,110 --> 01:22:43,120
Here we are,
completely trapped in a palace,
1000
01:22:43,451 --> 01:22:46,518
on an island we have no hope of leaving.
1001
01:22:47,230 --> 01:22:49,598
And, what's more, we've...
1002
01:23:10,164 --> 01:23:12,080
Look at all those worlds.
1003
01:23:14,651 --> 01:23:15,849
It's fantastic.
1004
01:23:36,783 --> 01:23:39,240
Wonder who's gonna be
wearing those suits?
1005
01:23:40,344 --> 01:23:43,189
Someone who isn't going
to be sacrificed,
1006
01:23:43,451 --> 01:23:44,501
that's who.
1007
01:24:22,631 --> 01:24:24,878
In the annals
1008
01:24:25,048 --> 01:24:28,766
of the exploration of our cosmos,
1009
01:24:29,731 --> 01:24:33,230
many have been the valiant efforts
1010
01:24:33,400 --> 01:24:35,549
of our cosmochelonians
1011
01:24:35,920 --> 01:24:38,026
and astrozoologists,
1012
01:24:38,636 --> 01:24:41,720
in their quest for knowledge
1013
01:24:42,018 --> 01:24:44,511
of the Great A'Tuin.
1014
01:24:51,125 --> 01:24:53,389
And you said we had no way of escaping.
1015
01:24:53,559 --> 01:24:57,160
Just keep walking,
they'll never know it's us.
1016
01:24:57,749 --> 01:25:00,170
But I wasn't expecting an audience.
1017
01:25:04,160 --> 01:25:07,400
As soon as we get a chance,
we'll make a run for it, OK?
1018
01:25:11,501 --> 01:25:13,160
But never...
1019
01:25:13,571 --> 01:25:15,149
has the bravery
1020
01:25:15,720 --> 01:25:19,636
of those who laid down
their live before,
1021
01:25:19,968 --> 01:25:21,749
in the pursuit
1022
01:25:22,011 --> 01:25:24,914
of the answer
to the ultimate question
1023
01:25:25,084 --> 01:25:26,440
of the sex...
1024
01:25:27,240 --> 01:25:28,749
of the turtle,
1025
01:25:29,296 --> 01:25:31,094
been more valid
1026
01:25:31,811 --> 01:25:35,278
by those who, today, venture forth...
1027
01:25:40,691 --> 01:25:43,168
- to certain death.
- Depths.
1028
01:25:45,702 --> 01:25:46,735
Depths!
1029
01:25:47,651 --> 01:25:50,702
These two... specially-trained
1030
01:25:51,183 --> 01:25:53,533
highly-skilled chelonauts
1031
01:25:54,342 --> 01:25:56,443
will be honoured
1032
01:25:57,861 --> 01:26:00,050
by the chronicles of Krull.
1033
01:26:00,411 --> 01:26:03,840
- Is there a toilet in this suit?
- I don't think so.
1034
01:26:04,349 --> 01:26:07,375
It's just that I think
I need to boldly go.
1035
01:26:08,240 --> 01:26:09,921
I give you...
1036
01:26:10,412 --> 01:26:11,570
heroes!
1037
01:26:12,181 --> 01:26:14,294
Not just of Krull,
1038
01:26:14,703 --> 01:26:17,694
but of the galaxy!
1039
01:26:36,044 --> 01:26:37,629
On the count of three,
1040
01:26:37,799 --> 01:26:40,309
we make a run for it, that way.
1041
01:26:45,680 --> 01:26:47,228
I don't think it's them.
1042
01:26:48,245 --> 01:26:50,909
You don't think
anyone's realised, do you?
1043
01:26:52,041 --> 01:26:53,679
Guards! Guards!
1044
01:26:57,360 --> 01:26:59,869
To the top of the ship!
They won't dare shoot at that.
1045
01:27:01,811 --> 01:27:03,509
Back up? Not for me, I'm off.
1046
01:27:04,920 --> 01:27:06,359
Perhaps you're right.
1047
01:27:27,497 --> 01:27:28,949
To the library!
1048
01:27:30,144 --> 01:27:30,999
Quick!
1049
01:27:47,750 --> 01:27:49,069
Head Librarian?
1050
01:27:57,404 --> 01:27:59,080
To the Great Hall!
1051
01:28:14,851 --> 01:28:17,869
I wonder if they're gonna send
this ship over the edge?
1052
01:28:31,200 --> 01:28:32,298
Stop, now!
1053
01:28:32,625 --> 01:28:35,610
This time,
I'm definitely going to die.
1054
01:28:41,348 --> 01:28:42,647
Surrender!
1055
01:28:45,296 --> 01:28:46,331
Now, listen.
1056
01:28:46,800 --> 01:28:49,629
We'll tell them
that we'll damage the thing
1057
01:28:49,891 --> 01:28:51,680
unless they let us go. Right?
1058
01:28:52,736 --> 01:28:55,429
And that's all
we're gonna do, right?
1059
01:28:57,332 --> 01:28:59,485
That's it. It'll lift off now.
1060
01:29:00,251 --> 01:29:01,693
Stop where you are!
1061
01:29:05,318 --> 01:29:07,348
- What was that?
- What was what?
1062
01:29:09,731 --> 01:29:11,147
I thought I heard something.
1063
01:29:11,317 --> 01:29:12,789
Twelve...
1064
01:29:13,071 --> 01:29:15,656
That's good, make it
look like you're damaging it.
1065
01:29:15,826 --> 01:29:16,792
Ten...
1066
01:29:17,891 --> 01:29:20,041
- I think it's stuck.
- Push it!
1067
01:29:20,514 --> 01:29:23,010
You're not messing about
with anything in there, are you?
1068
01:29:23,180 --> 01:29:25,509
- No, of course not.
- Oh, good.
1069
01:29:47,332 --> 01:29:49,360
What is the Octavo doing?
1070
01:30:04,972 --> 01:30:06,218
To the roof!
1071
01:30:14,216 --> 01:30:15,943
To the Tower Of Art!
1072
01:30:26,074 --> 01:30:27,870
How many steps are there?
1073
01:30:28,040 --> 01:30:30,269
Eight thousand, eight hundred...
1074
01:30:30,531 --> 01:30:32,149
And eighty eight.
1075
01:30:37,040 --> 01:30:38,229
Heave!
1076
01:30:38,640 --> 01:30:41,277
Nine... Nine...
1077
01:30:41,789 --> 01:30:44,976
- What was that?
- It doesn't seem to wanna go!
1078
01:30:45,260 --> 01:30:46,275
What?
1079
01:30:48,411 --> 01:30:50,080
Nine, eight...
1080
01:30:50,476 --> 01:30:53,413
- That's it, I fixed it!
- Fixed what?
1081
01:30:54,171 --> 01:30:55,909
We've gotta get off this thing.
1082
01:30:57,771 --> 01:30:58,571
One!
1083
01:31:00,331 --> 01:31:01,670
Lift-off!
1084
01:31:11,847 --> 01:31:13,160
The stars!
1085
01:31:14,515 --> 01:31:17,407
The whole damn sky, full of worlds!
1086
01:31:17,577 --> 01:31:20,238
Places no-one's ever gonna see,
except us!
1087
01:32:23,714 --> 01:32:25,815
I've not seen that one before.
1088
01:32:26,279 --> 01:32:28,669
I don't know
the significance of the star,
1089
01:32:28,931 --> 01:32:30,280
but that...
1090
01:32:30,731 --> 01:32:32,706
that mist is important.
1091
01:32:33,008 --> 01:32:35,038
So, what's happening?
1092
01:32:35,560 --> 01:32:36,531
I fear...
1093
01:32:38,098 --> 01:32:40,200
the only way to find out exactly
1094
01:32:41,107 --> 01:32:44,462
is to perform the Rite Of AshkEnte.
1095
01:32:48,730 --> 01:32:50,724
Thank you, Arch Chancellor.
1096
01:33:14,699 --> 01:33:15,891
Nice try.
1097
01:33:16,769 --> 01:33:18,869
That mist is a change spell,
1098
01:33:19,160 --> 01:33:20,846
created by the Octavo.
1099
01:33:22,969 --> 01:33:24,856
The whole world is changing.
1100
01:33:34,463 --> 01:33:36,113
For the better, I think.
1101
01:34:14,669 --> 01:34:16,236
That's so pretty.
1102
01:34:18,260 --> 01:34:19,951
I really should name it.
1103
01:34:28,800 --> 01:34:31,389
Has anybody seen the Arch Chancellor?
1104
01:34:37,781 --> 01:34:39,490
And how can I help you?
1105
01:35:03,280 --> 01:35:05,869
I'll give it a name, Goodbye World!
1106
01:35:40,820 --> 01:35:42,430
I understand that the Octavo
1107
01:35:42,600 --> 01:35:45,549
is anxious
not to lose the eighth spell.
1108
01:35:46,971 --> 01:35:49,069
As much as it pains me to say this,
1109
01:35:49,360 --> 01:35:51,389
Rincewind must not die.
1110
01:35:53,051 --> 01:35:53,869
Death.
1111
01:35:55,589 --> 01:35:58,469
- I've sent someone to find him.
- Who?
1112
01:36:07,240 --> 01:36:10,989
Gentlemen, the light... fantastic!
1113
01:36:11,621 --> 01:36:13,389
The star is life, not death.
1114
01:36:13,651 --> 01:36:16,149
- Are those things demons?
- He's opened a pathway.
1115
01:36:20,422 --> 01:36:22,229
- Who are you?
- Cohen.
1116
01:36:22,491 --> 01:36:23,641
The Barbarian!
1117
01:36:38,853 --> 01:36:40,384
We have gone beyond...
1118
01:36:41,043 --> 01:36:41,949
wisdom.
77312
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