All language subtitles for Modern.Family.S08E18.720p

Hey...

I just caught a glimpse of our pilot,

and he looks exactly like Sully.

I-I think it is Sully.

I think that's a woman.

- No, it's a...
- Yeah.

Oh, I know what you're doing.

You're testing the
limits of my feminism.

I will have you know that I am...

perfectly fine putting my life
in the hands of a female pilot.

Hi, folks. This is your captain.

- Oh, thank God.
- Mm-hmm.

Our flight time to Turks and Caicos

is six hours, 24 minutes.

Flight attendants, prepare for takeoff.

All right.

Time to take that special
flying medicine Ronaldo gave us.

Yes, what does "cuidado" mean?

I think it means "sleep
tight"? I don't know.

Oh, well, cheers!

Cuidado.

Mm. Okay.

What happened?

Did we land?

Man, that stuff is good.

Bad news, folks, we have
some mechanical issues,

and we will need to
head back to the gate.

Okay, any time you
head back to the gate,

that means your flight's not taking off.

All right, gather your things.
We're gonna need to scramble

to find another one.

Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com

_

Okay, Mr. Pritchett, there
is a connecting flight

through Dallas that
leaves in five minutes.

- You can catch it if you hurry.
- I don't want to go to Dallas.

We're going to Turks and Caicos.

Dallas is just where
you make your connection.

I'm sorry, I'm having a really hard time

processing information right now.

We took sleeping pills.

Just make your way over to gate 32.

- Okay. Okay.
- Thank you.

I can... wow.

- Wait, why do these say "Dallas"?
- I have no idea.

Ma'am, sorry, there's
been a horrible mistake.

We don't want to go to Dallas.

Okay.

Listen carefully...
you're connecting in Dallas

to Turks and Caicos.

You need to be at gate 32 in
four minutes, do you understand?

Yes. I'm not an idiot.

Okay, we have to be at
gate 4 in 32 minutes.

No, gate 32, write it down.

Okay.

Why is she so angry?

Isn't it obvious? She's totally into me.

- She gave me a marker. Mmm!
- Makes sense.

- All right.
- Okay.

- I'm just gonna follow you. Okay.
- Yeah.

Wrong!

I knew it. Instinct.

- Okay, yes.
- Wait, no, my bag.

- My bag's gone.
- Okay, okay.

It has my passport in it.

Wait, that guy...

he has my bag.

Excuse me, sir.

Nice try stealing my bag. I
see you've already painted it.

Cam, it... it's back on your shoulder!

Oh, my God. You are good.

Cam, listen to me, listen
to me, listen to me.

If we're gonna have any
chance of getting to Dallas

and then surviving there,

we are going to need hats.

Hats.

Hats.

Excuse me, sir, sir, sir, sir,

are you the proprietor
of this haberdashery?

Can you point me in the direction

of your finest sports caps?

What team?

Gay... I'm not sure why that's relevant.

Oh. Okay.

I'll just...

Hey, I have a question for you.

When you're outside the
workplace, do you wear hats?

Or does that just kind of make you feel

like you're always in the office?

Oh, you know what, I think
I am going to get these.

No, Mitchell, we can't...

Oh, look, little girls' hats.

Ooh. We should get one for Linda.

- Who?
- Um, our daughter?

- No, it's Lily.
- Oh, I love that name.

Mitchell, why do you have
32 written on your arm?

I have no idea.

Maybe it's some sort of
code, or maybe it's my age.

Do I look 32 to you?

Tell me the truth. No,
you know what... don't.

Well, if we wrote it down, it
must be something important.

Hey, we should write down other stuff

that seems important so we don't forget.

Yeah, okay. Um, well, hats.

- Hats, obviously.
- Obviously.

Okay. Ah, what else?

- I feel like there was a...
- A number.

- ...there was... 32.
- 32.

Attention, please.

Passengers Mitchell Pritchett
and Cameron Tucker...

- You're hearing that, right?
- Yeah.

...please report to
gate 32 immediately.

Are we in trouble?

- I don't know.
- He sounds mad.

He does.

- Hey.
- No, no, no.

No, no, no. Cam, don't.

Don't you dare. Don't... don't you dare.

No, I... they just look
so soft and inviting.

I-I don't think I can go on.

Tell Linda I love her.

No, you're gonna tell
Linda yourself, okay?

I cannot go to Dallas without you.

- The portions there are so big.
- Ooh.

I'm just so tired. I'm so very tired.

I just need to close my eyes.

- Oh!
- Knock it off!

- Ow!
- You're gonna suck it up.

You're gonna pull your act together.

And you're coming with me to gate 3232.

That can't be right.

We're just never gonna make it.

Oh, my God. You're right.

We're gonna die in this airport.

- Ah.
- Oh.

This is the final boarding
call for flight 224 to Dallas...

- Wait, there's still time.
- ...at gate 32.

- Sir, stop!
- Stop!

Is there a way that you
can take us to gate...

- ...32?
- 32, yeah.

- I guess.
- Okay, wow.

Thank you so much. You are a life saver.

Please hurry. Okay.

We're here.

Thank you. Okay.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you so much.

Mitch and Cam. Hi!

- Hi!
- Hi, we're Mitch and Cam!

I'm Mitch, he's Cam.

Mr. Tucker, Mr. Pritchett...
you made it just in time.

- Okay. Oh, my gosh.
- Thank you.

Lucy, her name is Lucy.

We're coming home, Lucy!

Hey, everyone,

we are firing up the hologram

to the Starship
Enterprise in five minutes.

Be there or be square.

I don't think he had to "or" that one.

You know, honey, now that we're here,

I'm not sure it's such a great idea

to barge in on Alex.

Claire, I'm worried.

She's not returning texts.

Her friend says she never goes out.

This is the first act
of every Lifetime movie

about college girl meltdowns.

Yeah, but maybe we should
give her a little head's up.

That's what Alicia Silverstone's
mom, Judith Light, thought

in "From Straight A's
to a Straight Jacket."

Trust me, this is the best way

to make sure she's
not spending her nights

- holed up and depressed.
- _

Alex? Honey, it's Mom and Dad.

Oh, well, maybe this is a good sign.

Maybe she's already out with
friends, just like a normal...

- Hey!
- Hey!

What are you guys doing here?

Thought we'd pop by, say hi,
maybe take you out for a bite.

Unless you've already got
fun group dinner plans?

My burrito's ready.

You're drinking?

Wine helps me sleep sometimes.

You know, I really wish
you guys had called.

I'm so busy with school stuff right now,

and this place is a mess.

Aww, there you are.

- You got a cat?
- It's not mine.

You stole a cat?

Just like Neve Campbell

- in "From Yale to Jail."
- Oh, God.

Honey, are you sure you're okay?

It's Saturday night.

You're drinking wine in your bathrobe

with a come-from-nowhere cat.

What's wrong with that?

Take away the cat,
and I'm basically you.

- Mm.
- Honey,

I know what it's like to
be an outsider in college.

- Mm-hmm.
- The cool kids and I

used to try to make them feel better

by leaving banana bread
outside their door.

We'd knock and then run
off and hide behind a bush

and watch them just to see the
expression on their faces...

Phil.

Your dad and I are just concerned

'cause you've been so distant lately.

I told you I've been busy.

Nobody's saying you
don't lead a full life.

- You study, you make burritos.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Maybe... maybe you're just
a little lonely or depressed.

I'm fine, Mom.

'Cause we could always
get you back into therapy.

- Yes.
- Or have you move home with us.

- Uh-huh.
- God, stop.

Why do you guys always just
assume I'm some depressed loser?

Did it ever occur to you that
maybe I've been so distant

because I've been busy with my own life?

Maybe I'm doing great.

Maybe I'm spending time
with someone special.

Ah!

- Yeah.
- Whoa.

- That's right.
- Ben, what are you doing?

I told you to stay in there.

I'm sorry... I thought you were,
like, building to a big reveal.

- I wasn't.
- You and Ben and...

- Honey, isn't he 50?
- He's 26.

It runs in my family. I'm gonna
look like this until the day I die.

So, this is why you
haven't been coming home?

You've been dating your mom's assistant?

- Oh, come on.
- I'm actually a marketing manager.

- Unh-unh.
- You know what?

This might go better for
everyone if you throw a towel on.

Okay, yeah. That makes sense.

Claire, co... um, could you not fire me?

Ugh, how long have you
two been sneaking around?

A couple of months.

We took a break when
I went to San Diego.

- What? We did?
- Just...

Is this okay?

Um, yeah, yeah, we put it in for her.

- It's a feline burrito.
- Wait a minute.

I knew I recognized that thing.

You should know... he
brings that cat to work

and apparently on dates.

He thought it was time to bring together

the two most special ladies in his life.

Well, I cannot go to work every day

and wonder why he's got that
stupid smile on his face.

Why are you making this all about you?

This is the first adult
relationship I've had in... ever.

But it's with Ben.

It's okay. It's okay.

She didn't mean that.

Claire, can I talk to you for a second?

Oh, you can agree with
me in front of everyone.

Actually, I think you're
overreacting a little.

- What?
- We came here thinking

our daughter was in some
sort of a depression,

and it turns out she's dating someone.

And he's actually pretty
sweet and harmless.

Are you, Ben? Are you harmless?

Please don't, don't.

He kissed me.

- You kissed my mom?!
- You kissed my wife?!

Dude, I thought I had to or
I would lose my job, okay?

- That's not... mnh-mnh.
- That's for real.

We were working late. It
was just the two of us.

She reached over to grab

- a spring roll, I guess,
- Yes...

but she got right in my
face, and she whispered,

"Mmm, Mama's hungry."

I have to say, Claire,
this one might be on you.

Like I would abuse my position
to take advantage of you

and not Tony from the warehouse?

- Who's Tony from the warehouse?
- Just...

The kiss was an honest mistake.

Maybe, but it was still a little off,

like most things are with Ben.

Maybe I like a little off.

And that's not all he is.

He's an amazing person
who somehow gets me.

He's thoughtful and smart, and...

I feel like I can be myself around him.

And his nose does this little
wiggly thing when he sleeps.

You watch me sleep?

Dude, I watch you sleep.

I'm really glad that this is finally out

and I can tell people
how I feel about you.

I really like you, Ben.

Like, a lot.

And I have never loved
anyone as much as you.

- Don't make this weird.
- Oh, yeah.

She's not sad and lonely.

- No, it's so much worse.
- Look at her, Claire.

Have you ever seen her look so happy?

Crap.

3, 2, 1.

Aw!

- That's my hand, Ben.
- Oh, sorry.

- Mm-hmm.
- My bad.

Speed it up, Manny.

The movie starts in five minutes.

Sorry, but I'm not going
over 20 miles an hour

with this cappuccino
machine not strapped in.

Once I perfect my foam art skills,

my freshman dorm will
be the place to be.

I think we can put off that
talk about using protection.

Mm, look, there's a spot right there.

Looks tight, but I'll give it a try.

You're too close to the curb.

You're gonna hit it.

Oh!

What'd I tell you?

It's okay, papi, you can do it.

Ugh.

Go around.

Oh, really? Well,
here's a bouquet of them!

Okay, let's try this again.

Ah!

Ugh, okay. Get out, I'll do it.

Surprise, surprise.

What was that?

Nothing, I was just
saying that I am surprised

that you want to take
over like you usually do.

- But I am not.
- What are you cagey for?

What did I do?

Okay, this spot's not happening.

Well, I didn't want to say anything,

but the other night, when
we were at Jeff and Sally's,

I was in the middle of telling a story,

you just took over and told the ending,

and that was very rude.

Okay, this one looks good... it's huge.

That's what's bothering you?

I jumped in to save you!

You were flailing.

You were drowning in a
sea of unnecessary details.

Ah! How?!

That's the way I like to tell a story.

I like to paint a picture.

A story should be short and simple.

Don't tell me anything
I don't need to know.

I am taking you on a journey.

I am not teaching you
how to build a bookcase.

Seriously? You saw me waiting.

You couldn't tell me
you weren't leaving?

You brought your own shopping bags,

but you left your manners at home.

I'm just saying your story
would be easier to follow

if you didn't take so many side trips

and you thought about
the build a little bit.

You're with me on
this, aren't you, Manny?

- I like Mom's stories.
- See?

I'm just gonna pull in here.

12 bucks? No wonder the
middle class is so angry.

There's no way you would
be able to follow her story.

- Yes, he would have.
- Fine. Tell it again.

A couple of weeks ago, I
go to the grocery store...

the one on Washington

that has the tiny little
wine bar to the right.

So, I come in, I'm
looking for paper towels.

And I think, "Mmm,
I'm gonna treat myself

"with some wine and some cheese."

'Cause why not?

So, I order my drink,
and when I look up,

I thought I saw Sandra Bullock.

Stop.

Right there, you just said you
thought you saw Sandra Bullock.

I already know the
ending. It wasn't her.

End of story.

Yeah, but you don't even
know who it really was.

I know it's not Sandra
Bullock, so I'm not invested.

You know, I really loved
her in that movie "Gravity."

Who cares? She wasn't there.

Oh, please be leaving.

May I finish my story?

So, I start following Sandra Bullock...

Not Sandra Bullock.

...around the grocery store.

She goes first to the frozen section,

then she goes to the detergent aisle.

I'm thinking to myself this whole time,

"I am gonna go and introduce myself,

"but it has to be at the right time."

So I keep following her.

Eventually, she leaves the store.

She goes outside, which
was actually really hot

to be January, because,
remember, last year...

We know the month, we know the weather,

we know it's not Sandra Bullock.

Are you leaving?

I want your spot.

Oh, please.

Don't flatter yourself, lady.

Manny, are you listening?

No, sorry. I wasn't paying attention.

Because you're not
holding his attention.

And this is what I've
been talking about...

too many useless details.

Get on with it.

So, she turns around, she
takes her sunglasses off,

which was really weird,

because it was the exact same pair

that I bought last year that
I lost on that plane ride...

Nobody cares about your sunglasses.

Just get to the end.

I don't want to now.

The woman turns to your mother and says,

"Oh, my God. Are you Salma Hayek?"

- Here we go.
- I'm just trying to help you.

Put on blinker, check mirrors,

watch jerk steal your spot,

regret quitting karate in 4th grade.

You know what, Jay, this is not about

who tells the best story.

This is about you jumping in that night

like you just wanted me to stop talking

because I was embarrassing
you or something.

You made me feel stupid.

You think it's nothing,
but you hurt my feelings.

Gloria, that's the last
thing I meant to happen.

You're just saying that.
You don't really understand.

No, I'm sorry.

Hell, I'm the last guy
who wants to make somebody

feel like they sound stupid.

Did I ever tell you about the little boy

from my neighborhood who stuttered?

He was real self-conscious about it.

What kid wouldn't be?

At school, when the teacher
would ask him a question,

he tried so hard to get the words out,

but it just wouldn't come.

Rest of the kids stared at him,

which only made the stuttering worse.

They'd whisper behind
his back and laugh.

Finally, got to the point
when the teacher called on him

to answer a question,
even if he knew the answer,

he'd just say, "I don't know."

Then the teacher would
shake his head and say,

"Next time, study harder, Jay."

You were that little kid?

So sad.

That must have been very hard for you.

It was.

We're parked.

Okay, the movie's about to start.

Let's go.

Man, I haven't thought
about that in years.

That was really moving.

'Cause that's how you tell a story.

Hi, could you bring
out the birthday cake

in like five, minutes?

Sure, do you want the
whole song and everything?

Oh, that would be great.

I only ask because we
don't love doing it.

Okay, thanks.

Hey.

So, birthday boy, how you feeling?

Um, a little nervous, actually.

Why?

Uh, well...

Oh, my God.

Haley, when I woke up this morning,

I just had this feeling.

And I know this is sudden,

but like any mid-to-large
market weatherman,

I trust my instincts.

And it might have something
to do with turning 45,

but today my instincts told
me not to wait another second

to spend the rest of my
life with the woman I love.

Haley Gwendolyn Dunphy,

will you marry me?

Yes.

- Yes, I'll marry you.
- Really? You will?

- Yeah!
- Oh!

It just feels right, you know?
I don't want to over-think it.

That's what I love about you.
You don't over-think anything.

Aww.

Oh, you've made me the
happiest man in the world.

I don't know how to say this
without sounding superficial,

but I need a closer look at this ring.

Yeah, sit down, sit down.

It was my grandmother's.

She hid it in her
hollowed-out wooden foot

during the Great Depression.

So crazy, my grandmother's on Snapchat.

It's beautiful.

I didn't ruin the surprise, did I?

I mean, I was trying to
act normal through dinner.

I just couldn't hide how nervous I was.

It's how I imagine fans feel
when they come up and meet me.

No, I didn't expect it at all.

I just thought you were
nervous because the light's

on the right side of your face.

Yeah. Oh, look at me...

- I can't stop smiling.
- Yeah!

Usually I like to save
my smiles for on-camera

because they come off
more real that way.

- Oh, yeah.
- But this is worth it.

Mm.

- That's odd.
- What's wrong?

It's raining. I didn't predict that.

- I called for clear skies tonight.
- Hmm.

Ooh, should we order some
champagne to celebrate?

I can't believe my forecast was wrong.

Oh, don't beat yourself up about it.

If it helps, my weather app
didn't predict rain either.

- Your what?
- Nothing.

My God, look at those winds.

They must register at least
a 10 on the Beaufort Scale.

Think of all the sun roofs left open.

Think of all the freshly
blown-out hair de-volumizing.

- How could I not see this coming?
- Rainer.

Is this the only thing
I was off about today?

What do you mean?

Well, let's face it, Haley.
I did not think this through.

I mean, where are we gonna live?

My place only has one walk-in
closet, which would stay mine.

And how's my daughter gonna
feel about us getting married?

Are you gonna want to have children?

Can I even have more children?

I've spent a lot of
time in tanning beds.

Um, I think you're spinning a little.

Look, sometimes when I'm
reorganizing my closet,

I feel overwhelmed, like I'm
never gonna get through it all.

So I force myself to look at
things in smaller sections.

I arrange five pairs of shoes at a time.

12 hours later, I'm done.

So, that's what we'll do.

We'll take things five years at a time.

- In five years, I'll be 50.
- What?

What did you think 45 plus 5 was?

Well, until today, you were 44,

which I had basically
convinced myself was 40,

and now suddenly we're talking
about 50, which is basically 60.

Wait, wait. Why are you panicking?

I'm the one who can't
mess up another marriage.

I mean, you mess up the first one, fine.

It's a mulligan. But
the second one fails,

and suddenly I'm the problem.

I lose my chance at
being the spokesperson

for Blue Monsoon Korean Energy Drink.

Let's just take a breath.

It's natural to freak out a little bit.

We're making a lifetime commitment.

We're going to be together forever.

Just you and me.

Forever.

You just said that.

I know.

Because... because it's great.

That's what every girl wants, right?

I mean, sure, I'm still really
young and there's obviously

so much more I thought I'd
do before I tied myself down

to one person for the rest of my life.

But does anyone ever truly
feel ready to get married?

I mean, probably.

- Haley.
- But it's not like I'm dying.

I just won't be single anymore.

I'll won't ever go
on a first date again.

I won't ever have a first kiss.

I won't ever dance near a deejay booth

hoping someone will like what they see

and offer me a ride home.

Oh, my... is it, is it me...

or is it just crazy hot in here?

Can somebody open a window, please?

No, no, they can't because,
as I did not predict,

it's raining outside.

Ew, my finger is swelling up.

Oh, why is your grandmother's
Depression ring so tight?

Give me that butter.

Here, let me help you with that.

Ugh.

I got it. Ow!

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Nope, it's okay. I'm fine.

At least the ring came off.

Ow.

Yeah, um,

feels better.

Look, um...

maybe you're right.

Maybe we should rethink
this whole marriage thing.

I don't remember saying that.

It's clear you're having doubts.

We both are.

Let's just keep dating
and see where it goes.

I don't want to do that.

I mean, I... clearly, I've
had some commitment issues,

and I know I had a
momentary freak out there,

but I was... I had no idea that you w...

Haley, I know it's unfair.

I guess I was just hoping
you'd be sure enough

for the both of us.

You're right.

It isn't fair.

You're really giving this back?

Just for now.

Haley, I'm 45 years old.

I-I don't want to just date
and see where things go.

That's not where I am in my life.

What are you saying?

Well, I think we're both saying it.

- ♪ Ha... ♪
- No, no, don't.

Oh, good.

Do you want to blow out the candles?

Sir?

Sir?

- Wh-what happened?
- Are we in Dallas yet?

No, we've left Dallas.
We're in Turks and Caicos.

- We need to clean the plane.
- What?

Do you remember being in Dallas?

No, we must have slept through it.

- You're wearing a cowboy hat.
- So are you.

What is this?

I don't think we're
supposed to have that.

So, it appears I've gotten a piercing.

- What?
- Mm-hmm.

"Murray."

Why does your arm say "Murray"?

Who... whose dog is this?

What do you mean "whose dog"?

You refused to board without him.

I did?

Okay, well, let's go.

I don't remember my
bag being this heavy.

Uh-oh.

Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com