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1
00:00:00,039 --> 00:00:01,188
PHIL: Hey, Jay.
2
00:00:01,213 --> 00:00:02,477
- Oh!
- Welcome!
3
00:00:02,508 --> 00:00:04,171
New Year's Day at Jay's.
4
00:00:04,242 --> 00:00:05,928
My dad was driving in.
5
00:00:05,953 --> 00:00:08,019
Things were looking
up after a bad morning.
6
00:00:08,089 --> 00:00:09,221
[passengers scream]
7
00:00:09,290 --> 00:00:12,257
- Oh! Yeah!
- Oh, man!
8
00:00:12,282 --> 00:00:14,718
[gasps] Look how high it goes!
9
00:00:14,743 --> 00:00:17,261
I'm gonna try and spit on a bird.
10
00:00:17,286 --> 00:00:18,421
[whining]
11
00:00:18,446 --> 00:00:20,280
Did he just get off the ride?
12
00:00:22,234 --> 00:00:25,295
You know, honey, um,
I'm getting cold feet.
13
00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:26,906
- Maybe we should just...
- Well, if you're scared,
14
00:00:26,931 --> 00:00:28,046
- we should just go.
- [whining continues]
15
00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:30,460
I'm disappointed, 'cause to
me, it seemed like a blast.
16
00:00:30,485 --> 00:00:32,203
- [passengers scream]
- Oh!
17
00:00:32,268 --> 00:00:34,226
My resolution to live more dangerously
18
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,069
was off to a rocky start.
19
00:00:36,094 --> 00:00:37,927
Help yourself to my Christmas present.
20
00:00:37,952 --> 00:00:40,386
Nothing like a frozen
margarita in a hot tub.
21
00:00:40,455 --> 00:00:43,086
Lets nature know we
can do anything she can.
22
00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,516
Well, I'll take one to go.
23
00:00:44,524 --> 00:00:46,557
Alex and I are just here
to raid your guys' closet
24
00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:47,825
for some vintage clothing.
25
00:00:47,893 --> 00:00:50,428
Yeah, we're going to a '90s music
festival called Fo-shizzle-fest.
26
00:00:50,496 --> 00:00:53,491
Okay, get ready to pig out!
27
00:00:53,516 --> 00:00:55,366
In six to eight hours. [sighs]
28
00:00:55,435 --> 00:00:57,134
I did Thanksgiving dinner last year,
29
00:00:57,203 --> 00:00:58,535
and it didn't go well.
30
00:00:58,604 --> 00:01:00,069
Cam blew up the turkey
31
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,366
and made the goat kill itself.
32
00:01:01,391 --> 00:01:03,186
Anyhoo, today is my comeback meal,
33
00:01:03,211 --> 00:01:05,506
and I decided to keep it
simple and roast a pig.
34
00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,043
So, you just dig a hole,
35
00:01:07,112 --> 00:01:09,694
you put down a bed of coals,
then a layer of banana leaves,
36
00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:12,100
lower the pig, cover it
with burlap and tin foil,
37
00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:13,381
and... bam!
38
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,233
Six hours later, you dig it all up,
39
00:01:15,258 --> 00:01:17,140
put it on a platter, and... bam!
40
00:01:17,165 --> 00:01:18,559
Dinner is served.
41
00:01:18,584 --> 00:01:19,817
GLORIA: Guys,
42
00:01:19,842 --> 00:01:22,524
just because you spent
Christmas in Missouri
43
00:01:22,593 --> 00:01:24,121
doesn't mean that we forgot about you.
44
00:01:24,146 --> 00:01:26,862
- Open your presents.
- Oh, okay! I'll go first.
45
00:01:26,930 --> 00:01:29,331
Uh, let's see.
46
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,766
Oh, it's a gift
certificate for E-Butler.
47
00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:33,469
It's a concierge service.
48
00:01:33,537 --> 00:01:35,804
Use it for errands,
tickets, things like that.
49
00:01:35,873 --> 00:01:36,837
Oh my God. I love this!
50
00:01:36,862 --> 00:01:37,998
It's like staying in a hotel,
51
00:01:38,023 --> 00:01:39,895
but I don't have to wear
gloves to use the remote.
52
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,686
CAMERON: Okay, me next. Me next.
53
00:01:41,711 --> 00:01:43,115
Oh...
54
00:01:43,389 --> 00:01:45,646
it's an apron with... with bells on it.
55
00:01:45,715 --> 00:01:48,016
And it says, "Cam and get it!"
56
00:01:48,084 --> 00:01:49,450
Oh, so that's not a mistake?
57
00:01:49,519 --> 00:01:51,852
We spent extra cash to
get that custom made.
58
00:01:51,921 --> 00:01:52,953
Came to me in a dream.
59
00:01:52,978 --> 00:01:53,990
PHIL: Put it on, buddy.
60
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:56,552
Let's, uh... let's get pictures
with you guys and your gifts.
61
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,207
Jay and Gloria, get in there too.
62
00:01:58,232 --> 00:01:59,662
Come on, honey. Let's go.
63
00:02:00,022 --> 00:02:01,303
- Oh, boy.
- I'll tie it.
64
00:02:01,366 --> 00:02:02,693
- No, you won't.
- All right.
65
00:02:05,556 --> 00:02:06,975
- Whoa!
- Oh!
66
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,680
[electricity crackles]
67
00:02:08,705 --> 00:02:11,185
I told you Stella was trying to kill me!
68
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:15,178
♪ ♪
69
00:02:19,489 --> 00:02:23,630
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
70
00:02:25,403 --> 00:02:27,368
- Well, that was a scare.
- Nothing happened.
71
00:02:27,437 --> 00:02:28,803
I know where you're going with this.
72
00:02:28,871 --> 00:02:30,370
This is why I've been hounding you
73
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:31,472
about your estate planning.
74
00:02:31,541 --> 00:02:35,479
No, Mitch. Don't put that
horrible thing out in the universe!
75
00:02:35,504 --> 00:02:36,470
[spits]
76
00:02:36,498 --> 00:02:37,698
[exhales forcefully]
77
00:02:37,723 --> 00:02:38,979
Dad, you still haven't done that?
78
00:02:39,048 --> 00:02:41,268
They haven't updated their
paperwork since Joe was born.
79
00:02:41,293 --> 00:02:44,151
Uh, God forbid something
bad should happen to them...
80
00:02:44,176 --> 00:02:45,832
we don't even know who'd
they want to raise Joe.
81
00:02:45,857 --> 00:02:47,320
Shh!
82
00:02:47,388 --> 00:02:48,455
[spits]
83
00:02:48,523 --> 00:02:50,363
Will you stop scaring her?
84
00:02:50,424 --> 00:02:52,229
I spend more money on eyelashes
85
00:02:52,254 --> 00:02:53,737
than most of you do on health care.
86
00:02:53,762 --> 00:02:54,828
Fine, we'll do it today.
87
00:02:54,896 --> 00:02:56,463
What better way to start the new year
88
00:02:56,531 --> 00:02:58,164
than by preparing for the worst?
89
00:02:58,232 --> 00:03:00,330
- [RV horn honks]
- Speaking of alive dads,
90
00:03:00,355 --> 00:03:02,468
- there's mine!
- Oh!
91
00:03:02,536 --> 00:03:03,869
- So good to see you!
- Oh!
92
00:03:03,938 --> 00:03:05,119
How was the drive?
93
00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:06,262
Fantastic.
94
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,612
- My radio broke around Tallahassee.
- Aw.
95
00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:10,635
But is there a better
entertainment source
96
00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:12,377
than the billboards of America?
97
00:03:12,446 --> 00:03:14,760
Apparently, syphilis
is making a comeback.
98
00:03:14,785 --> 00:03:17,543
Plus, you had me to keep you company.
99
00:03:17,894 --> 00:03:19,601
Lorraine?
100
00:03:19,918 --> 00:03:21,919
Lorraine was my babysitter growing up.
101
00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,454
She was also my first crush
102
00:03:23,523 --> 00:03:27,449
and also the star of my first, um...
103
00:03:28,176 --> 00:03:29,537
"funny dream."
104
00:03:29,562 --> 00:03:31,428
Yeah, Lorraine used to bring out
105
00:03:31,498 --> 00:03:33,635
- the holy terror in Phil.
- Oh.
106
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,432
It seemed like he wanted
to be spanked by her.
107
00:03:35,457 --> 00:03:36,862
- No, I did not.
- [chuckles]
108
00:03:36,887 --> 00:03:39,276
How long has this been going on?
109
00:03:39,301 --> 00:03:42,127
Well, we reconnected earlier
this year on jury duty.
110
00:03:42,152 --> 00:03:43,254
I was the lone holdout
111
00:03:43,279 --> 00:03:45,330
- on a triple homicide case.
- Mm.
112
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:46,536
You can just feel
113
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:48,752
- when someone is innocent, you know?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
114
00:03:48,777 --> 00:03:51,940
But Lorraine said she'd go out to
lunch with me if I changed my vote,
115
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,473
so here we are.
116
00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:55,729
- Phil, did... did you ever dream...
- No.
117
00:03:55,754 --> 00:03:58,666
Last time I saw you, you
came up to here. [laughs]
118
00:03:58,691 --> 00:04:00,995
Okay, Claire will take you
that way to the back yard.
119
00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,730
I'll go through the house so we
can finally know which way's faster.
120
00:04:03,957 --> 00:04:05,957
Okay, just a few simple questions,
121
00:04:05,982 --> 00:04:07,736
and your estate planning is done.
122
00:04:07,761 --> 00:04:08,996
What is this?
123
00:04:09,021 --> 00:04:11,010
We don't need to put aside
money for Manny's college.
124
00:04:11,035 --> 00:04:12,629
I already took care of it.
125
00:04:12,683 --> 00:04:15,324
When Manny was born, I
didn't want to rely on anyone,
126
00:04:15,349 --> 00:04:17,121
so I started saving
money from my paycheck.
127
00:04:17,146 --> 00:04:19,262
Eventually, I made enough
money for Manny's college,
128
00:04:19,287 --> 00:04:21,379
so if anything happens, he'll be okay.
129
00:04:21,403 --> 00:04:22,736
- That's amazing.
- [chuckles]
130
00:04:22,761 --> 00:04:24,860
How did I not see this
in the bank statements?
131
00:04:24,885 --> 00:04:26,651
Why would I put money that I might need
132
00:04:26,676 --> 00:04:28,475
to run away with in the middle of night
133
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:29,732
in the bank?
134
00:04:29,757 --> 00:04:31,257
I put it in my disappear bag.
135
00:04:31,282 --> 00:04:33,482
It's hard not to take
that personally, but, um,
136
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,672
where is this bag?
137
00:04:34,697 --> 00:04:37,431
It's in... in...
138
00:04:37,456 --> 00:04:39,004
- You forgot?
- No.
139
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,254
That's why I made a song
140
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,676
so that it would
always help me remember.
141
00:04:42,809 --> 00:04:46,058
♪ My disappear bag, my disappear bag ♪
142
00:04:46,083 --> 00:04:48,784
♪ I hid you very safely in the ♪
143
00:04:49,152 --> 00:04:51,004
- I don't know.
- [bells jingle]
144
00:04:51,372 --> 00:04:52,671
One second.
145
00:04:52,696 --> 00:04:54,563
Okay, Cam, what are we...
146
00:04:54,605 --> 00:04:56,317
Okay. Just... just
be cool. Just be cool.
147
00:04:56,342 --> 00:04:59,359
Be cool? You just jangled across the
yard like a big country tambourine.
148
00:04:59,384 --> 00:05:01,691
All right, well, apparently, the
fire went out and I didn't notice,
149
00:05:01,723 --> 00:05:04,143
and now this pig is as cold
as your family is gonna be
150
00:05:04,168 --> 00:05:05,691
when they figure out
I ruined another meal.
151
00:05:05,716 --> 00:05:06,738
Okay, this is bad.
152
00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:08,763
My dad does not like to be pork teased.
153
00:05:08,788 --> 00:05:10,690
Well, maybe we can
get a replacement pig.
154
00:05:10,723 --> 00:05:12,612
Do you think your concierge
thing could help out?
155
00:05:12,637 --> 00:05:13,850
But I just got it today,
156
00:05:13,919 --> 00:05:15,717
and... and the card
says, "For Mitch stuff."
157
00:05:15,742 --> 00:05:17,012
Mitchell, one of my resolutions
158
00:05:17,037 --> 00:05:18,602
- was to cry less outside the home.
- [sighs]
159
00:05:18,627 --> 00:05:20,613
- Please help me get through this day.
- Gosh.
160
00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:22,769
You know they only got
me six hours, right?
161
00:05:22,794 --> 00:05:23,949
I know. Thank you.
162
00:05:23,974 --> 00:05:24,896
- Okay.
- [line rings]
163
00:05:24,921 --> 00:05:26,551
CONCIERGE: Thank you for
calling E-Butler, Mr. Pritchett.
164
00:05:26,575 --> 00:05:28,508
How may I make your day more E-fficient?
165
00:05:28,577 --> 00:05:30,699
Okay, um, well, this is a weird request.
166
00:05:30,724 --> 00:05:34,823
Keep in mind, erotic tasks are
billed at twice the normal rate.
167
00:05:34,848 --> 00:05:38,582
Uh, no, I-I need you to secretly
deliver a whole roasted pig.
168
00:05:38,607 --> 00:05:40,074
With extreme pleasure.
169
00:05:40,099 --> 00:05:42,832
Requests like these
remind me why I E-buttle.
170
00:05:42,857 --> 00:05:44,089
CAMERON: I knew that voice.
171
00:05:44,114 --> 00:05:45,146
It was Keifth.
172
00:05:45,393 --> 00:05:46,592
When I first moved here,
173
00:05:46,661 --> 00:05:48,410
I was just a young Missouri hayseed.
174
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,394
I-I bought a ticket
to the circus one day,
175
00:05:50,419 --> 00:05:52,566
and there in the middle
of all the action,
176
00:05:52,591 --> 00:05:56,092
in an impeccably pressed
tuxedo, was Ringmaster Keifth.
177
00:05:56,162 --> 00:05:58,963
I started hanging out at
circus bars until we met.
178
00:05:58,988 --> 00:06:00,543
The attraction was immediate.
179
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,996
He was older, always
in command of a room,
180
00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:05,888
which makes sense because a
room is just a permanent tent.
181
00:06:06,161 --> 00:06:07,510
We dated for six months.
182
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:08,819
He transformed me
183
00:06:08,844 --> 00:06:11,241
into the sophisticate
that we all know today.
184
00:06:11,966 --> 00:06:15,435
And then, he suddenly disappeared.
185
00:06:15,856 --> 00:06:18,402
No goodbye. No note.
186
00:06:18,605 --> 00:06:21,198
Just some peanut shells on
the floor that must have...
187
00:06:21,223 --> 00:06:23,442
fallen from his glorious black boot.
188
00:06:23,511 --> 00:06:26,043
I found a trattoria in Little Polynesia
189
00:06:26,068 --> 00:06:28,257
- that can spare a fully roasted pig.
- Mitchell.
190
00:06:28,282 --> 00:06:29,379
Sorry for the delay.
191
00:06:29,404 --> 00:06:30,707
It w... it was a minute and a half.
192
00:06:30,732 --> 00:06:31,691
You can't know my shame.
193
00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:33,887
I'll deliver the porcine
parcel within the hour.
194
00:06:33,912 --> 00:06:36,432
Okay, that... that is great.
I will... I will see you then.
195
00:06:36,457 --> 00:06:37,519
- [cellphone beeps]
- What is wrong with you?
196
00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:38,590
Okay, my circus boyfriend
197
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:39,559
who left me in the
middle of the night...
198
00:06:39,584 --> 00:06:40,622
that was him.
199
00:06:40,647 --> 00:06:42,414
And now he's coming here?!
200
00:06:42,439 --> 00:06:44,472
This is no way to ring in a new year.
201
00:06:44,497 --> 00:06:46,160
[bells jingle]
202
00:06:48,661 --> 00:06:49,996
The money has to be here somewhere.
203
00:06:50,021 --> 00:06:53,556
This is all the stuff from
when we first moved in together.
204
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,848
Why do we have a box of doll heads?
205
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,616
Oh, I guess you think it's a coincidence
206
00:06:57,641 --> 00:06:59,965
that we have never had
evil spirits in this house.
207
00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:01,340
What about these will questions?
208
00:07:01,365 --> 00:07:03,965
If something happens to
us, who should raise Joe?
209
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,389
No, Jay, don't say that.
210
00:07:05,414 --> 00:07:06,747
All right, look.
211
00:07:06,772 --> 00:07:10,373
If someone other than
us needs to raise Joe,
212
00:07:10,398 --> 00:07:11,730
I vote Mitch and Cam.
213
00:07:11,755 --> 00:07:13,187
Nice balance.
214
00:07:13,212 --> 00:07:15,811
Mitch is, uh, responsible,
he knows culture,
215
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:19,082
and Cam is basically a mom
who played college football.
216
00:07:19,278 --> 00:07:22,413
Plus, Joe and Lily are close in age.
217
00:07:22,438 --> 00:07:24,371
Yeah, but isn't she a little...
218
00:07:24,395 --> 00:07:26,128
Direct? You're not wrong.
219
00:07:26,153 --> 00:07:28,420
She did five minutes on
my nose at Thanksgiving.
220
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:29,889
I mean, it's a little big,
221
00:07:29,957 --> 00:07:32,215
but to say that it has its own zip code,
222
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,673
that was too much for me.
223
00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:35,996
- What's this?
- No, that is...
224
00:07:36,683 --> 00:07:38,863
"If I ever go missing or am found dead,
225
00:07:38,888 --> 00:07:40,087
"it was my husband"?
226
00:07:40,188 --> 00:07:41,324
What the hell is this?!
227
00:07:41,349 --> 00:07:42,649
Ay! Calm down.
228
00:07:42,674 --> 00:07:44,741
It was when we had our first big fight.
229
00:07:44,766 --> 00:07:47,367
Of course I knew that you
were not going to kill me.
230
00:07:47,392 --> 00:07:49,973
I was just going to
run away and frame you.
231
00:07:51,213 --> 00:07:54,926
Is it weird we've barely seen
Phil since we've been here?
232
00:07:54,973 --> 00:07:56,139
He was always a wanderer.
233
00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:57,824
It's the curse of being a genius.
234
00:07:57,849 --> 00:07:59,782
Oh. [laughs]
235
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:06,113
- Phil.
- Trinidad and Tobago!
236
00:08:06,138 --> 00:08:07,270
Why are you avoiding Frank?
237
00:08:07,295 --> 00:08:08,699
What? [scoffs]
238
00:08:08,724 --> 00:08:09,910
I'm...
239
00:08:10,777 --> 00:08:12,409
Okay, there's something you don't know.
240
00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:14,668
She used to be your babysitter,
and you had the hots for her.
241
00:08:14,693 --> 00:08:15,959
How?
242
00:08:15,984 --> 00:08:17,246
What is the plan, honey?
243
00:08:17,271 --> 00:08:18,613
Are you just gonna avoid them?
244
00:08:18,638 --> 00:08:20,832
I just need a minute to get
comfortable with this, okay?
245
00:08:20,857 --> 00:08:23,590
I mean, did he always
have a crush on her,
246
00:08:23,606 --> 00:08:25,449
even when my mom was around?
247
00:08:26,128 --> 00:08:27,994
It's one thing for a 13-year-old
248
00:08:28,019 --> 00:08:30,348
to position his babysitter in
front of an open refrigerator
249
00:08:30,373 --> 00:08:33,041
so that he can enjoy the backlit
contours of her beautiful body
250
00:08:33,066 --> 00:08:34,847
in the silk blouse he
stole from Randall's mother.
251
00:08:34,872 --> 00:08:37,340
But if he was doing the same thing?
252
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,293
Uh, moving past your decision
253
00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:41,853
to steal trophy clothing
from Randall's mom,
254
00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:43,707
maybe you could just talk to your dad.
255
00:08:44,645 --> 00:08:46,533
You know we don't talk in my family.
256
00:08:46,558 --> 00:08:48,340
We riff. We do bits.
257
00:08:48,365 --> 00:08:50,152
You know how my dad told
me my grandmother died?
258
00:08:50,177 --> 00:08:51,426
In a knock-knock joke.
259
00:08:51,451 --> 00:08:53,785
That is last year's Phil talking.
260
00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:56,402
In the spirit of
living more dangerously,
261
00:08:56,427 --> 00:08:57,980
why don't you take an emotional risk
262
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:01,258
and... and try and have an honest
conversation with your father?
263
00:09:01,327 --> 00:09:04,879
Also, well, I may not be wearing...
264
00:09:04,904 --> 00:09:07,082
Randall's mothers blouse,
265
00:09:07,107 --> 00:09:09,137
but I thought maybe you'd like...
266
00:09:09,726 --> 00:09:11,026
And he's gone.
267
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,910
Uh, da... how am I saying it wrong?
268
00:09:12,926 --> 00:09:15,026
- His name is Keith.
- No.
269
00:09:15,095 --> 00:09:16,194
Keef?
270
00:09:16,219 --> 00:09:17,885
It couldn't be simpler.
271
00:09:17,910 --> 00:09:20,944
K-E-I-F-T-H. Keifth.
272
00:09:20,969 --> 00:09:22,769
Fth. Fth.
273
00:09:22,794 --> 00:09:24,848
A remarkable name for a remarkable man.
274
00:09:24,873 --> 00:09:27,473
Isn't ringmaster basically
a ceremonial position?
275
00:09:27,498 --> 00:09:28,504
Uh, wow.
276
00:09:28,529 --> 00:09:29,916
I would love to live
in your fantasy world
277
00:09:29,941 --> 00:09:31,385
where circuses run themselves.
278
00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:33,151
[chuckling] Okay. Call and cancel.
279
00:09:33,176 --> 00:09:34,355
Then who's gonna save your dinner?
280
00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:37,576
Besides, we don't even know if
the concierge is actually Keifth.
281
00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:39,424
I'm gonna forget the velvety baritone
282
00:09:39,449 --> 00:09:41,471
that abandoned me in
the middle of the night?
283
00:09:41,496 --> 00:09:43,049
And plus, he walks in here, I lose it,
284
00:09:43,074 --> 00:09:44,549
I don't want Lily to see that.
285
00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:45,588
Oh, she's not here.
286
00:09:45,613 --> 00:09:47,627
She has that sleepover,
and she already leffffth.
287
00:09:47,652 --> 00:09:49,154
Without saying goodbye?
288
00:09:49,179 --> 00:09:50,211
Then it hit me.
289
00:09:50,236 --> 00:09:51,637
It could be therapeutic for Cam
290
00:09:51,662 --> 00:09:54,796
to see this ridiculously named
circus person who deserted him
291
00:09:54,821 --> 00:09:57,394
because that incident
could be the very root
292
00:09:57,419 --> 00:09:59,754
of his pretty intense
abandonment issues...
293
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,299
which are not unchallenging.
294
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,637
[inhales deeply] Mm.
295
00:10:04,185 --> 00:10:06,254
- Where are you going?
- To the bathroom.
296
00:10:06,781 --> 00:10:09,144
Well, have a nice life.
297
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,800
What about Phil and
Claire to take care of Joe?
298
00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:14,368
I don't know. Isn't Phil kind of silly?
299
00:10:14,437 --> 00:10:17,304
What are you talking about?
Phil is a great father.
300
00:10:17,372 --> 00:10:18,505
He's kind.
301
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:19,877
He's fun.
302
00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:21,348
Even Lily likes him.
303
00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:22,638
But is he too likeable?
304
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:23,829
Where's the gravitas?
305
00:10:23,854 --> 00:10:25,453
He's full of energy.
306
00:10:25,478 --> 00:10:26,887
He's sensitive,
307
00:10:26,912 --> 00:10:29,207
and he never, ever gets grumpy.
308
00:10:29,232 --> 00:10:31,732
Fine. Why don't you give Joe
to Super Dad right now, then?
309
00:10:31,778 --> 00:10:34,044
Oh, my God, are you really jealous
310
00:10:34,069 --> 00:10:36,754
because Phil might be a
better father than you?
311
00:10:36,779 --> 00:10:38,058
I know it's stupid.
312
00:10:38,286 --> 00:10:40,620
Not to mention the fact that
Joe gets Claire in the deal.
313
00:10:40,688 --> 00:10:42,385
She's a fantastic mother.
314
00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,724
Runs a company, hell of a role model.
315
00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:46,559
He could never do better
than that for a mother.
316
00:10:46,628 --> 00:10:48,527
You know what, Phil and Claire
have already raised their kids.
317
00:10:48,552 --> 00:10:50,293
I think it's time for them to travel.
318
00:10:51,432 --> 00:10:52,496
There.
319
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,920
That's where my
disappear bag was hanging!
320
00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:57,346
['90s rock music playing]
321
00:10:57,371 --> 00:10:59,808
You have, like, a hundred
missed calls from Gloria.
322
00:11:00,519 --> 00:11:01,707
[ringing]
323
00:11:01,732 --> 00:11:03,535
GLORIA: You have to come back right now.
324
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,012
Is everything okay?
325
00:11:05,995 --> 00:11:07,254
What?
326
00:11:09,949 --> 00:11:11,363
There must be a bus stop nearby.
327
00:11:11,388 --> 00:11:12,746
Until then, just act normal
328
00:11:12,771 --> 00:11:14,838
like we don't have
[whispering] $40,000 on us.
329
00:11:14,863 --> 00:11:16,410
Okay, why are you whispering
only part of a sentence?
330
00:11:16,435 --> 00:11:18,355
- That's going to attract attention.
- [normal voice] Really?
331
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,479
More than you being covered in sweat?
332
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,036
Because you look like a sauna wall.
333
00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:22,848
You're right. How do I
make myself stop sweating?
334
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,311
[crying] I don't know!
335
00:11:24,336 --> 00:11:25,887
Oh, don't cry. Crying's
worse than sweating.
336
00:11:25,912 --> 00:11:28,012
[crying] Oh look, now I'm crying too!
337
00:11:28,037 --> 00:11:30,496
Maybe we can smile our way out of this.
338
00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:32,160
[both sobbing]
339
00:11:32,185 --> 00:11:33,527
- [door opens]
- CLAIRE: Phil?
340
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:34,871
- Yeah?
- Honey, come quick!
341
00:11:34,896 --> 00:11:37,254
- Your dad passed out in the RV.
- Oh, my God!
342
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,309
[blow dryer whirring]
343
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:40,496
Dad, are you okay?
344
00:11:40,521 --> 00:11:43,535
Yeah, Claire just accidentally
sprayed me with a garden hose.
345
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:44,592
Really?
346
00:11:44,617 --> 00:11:46,582
- Oh, Claire?
- CLAIRE: Sorry, stuck...
347
00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:48,992
like many father-son relationships.
348
00:11:51,242 --> 00:11:54,476
So, uh, place looks great.
349
00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:57,218
Yeah, Lorraine really
spruced it up. Curtains,
350
00:11:57,243 --> 00:11:59,077
brass safety rails over the privy.
351
00:11:59,102 --> 00:12:00,413
That was really a lifesaver.
352
00:12:00,438 --> 00:12:02,271
She stopped short on the I-90 once.
353
00:12:02,296 --> 00:12:04,864
I came rolling out of there
like a Chinese acrobat.
354
00:12:04,889 --> 00:12:05,954
[both laugh]
355
00:12:05,979 --> 00:12:07,757
Well, Lorraine seems good.
356
00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:12,484
Hey, so Phil, uh, you
seem a little off today.
357
00:12:12,509 --> 00:12:16,343
Me and Lorraine... uh, that
doesn't bother you, right?
358
00:12:16,733 --> 00:12:18,656
No. No.
359
00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:21,163
Good. It's the craziest thing.
360
00:12:21,188 --> 00:12:23,538
She re-introduced herself and, uh...
361
00:12:23,563 --> 00:12:25,851
I didn't even remember
she was our babysitter.
362
00:12:25,876 --> 00:12:27,210
- Really?
- Yeah.
363
00:12:27,235 --> 00:12:28,281
Then she asked me out,
364
00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:29,609
and you know, I don't
get a lot of offers,
365
00:12:29,634 --> 00:12:31,702
so I thought, "What
the heck?" [chuckles]
366
00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:33,085
Sure. That's what I figured.
367
00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:35,406
But, uh, I'm just
glad you're having fun.
368
00:12:35,431 --> 00:12:36,898
Well, I better go fill this thing up
369
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,648
- with some of Jay's expensive Scotch.
- [chuckles]
370
00:12:39,673 --> 00:12:41,643
Oh, actually, I think the door's locked.
371
00:12:41,668 --> 00:12:43,101
Oh, no, it's fine.
372
00:12:43,169 --> 00:12:46,412
Well, Frank, I'm really
sorry about that hose thing.
373
00:12:46,437 --> 00:12:48,171
Oh, no hard feelings.
374
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,907
Shirt needed freshening anyway.
375
00:12:49,976 --> 00:12:53,399
I haven't washed it since we stopped
to take pictures at Smokey-Top,
376
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:56,924
Utah's longest, continuously
burning tire fire.
377
00:12:56,949 --> 00:12:58,813
[chuckles]
378
00:12:59,318 --> 00:13:02,319
As I guess you heard, I
had no reason to be worried.
379
00:13:02,387 --> 00:13:04,520
He didn't even notice when
Lorraine was my babysitter.
380
00:13:04,589 --> 00:13:06,188
Plus, they're not even that serious.
381
00:13:06,213 --> 00:13:07,713
I felt a ring box in his pocket.
382
00:13:07,826 --> 00:13:09,099
What? No way.
383
00:13:09,124 --> 00:13:11,429
Yep. There's only one
thing shaped like that.
384
00:13:11,454 --> 00:13:13,607
No, there isn't. There's
a million things...
385
00:13:13,632 --> 00:13:15,468
Rubik's Cube, sewing kit,
386
00:13:15,601 --> 00:13:17,390
souvenir tire keychain from Smokey-Top.
387
00:13:17,468 --> 00:13:19,401
I can't think of anything
that's not shaped like that.
388
00:13:19,470 --> 00:13:20,930
Let's assume for a
moment that I am right
389
00:13:20,954 --> 00:13:22,470
and that was a ring box.
390
00:13:22,539 --> 00:13:24,906
Maybe it's worth exploring why
the idea of your dad remarrying
391
00:13:24,931 --> 00:13:26,064
is setting you off like this.
392
00:13:26,089 --> 00:13:29,410
Maybe it's worth exploring why you
find so much joy in tearing people down.
393
00:13:29,471 --> 00:13:30,593
In previous generations,
394
00:13:30,618 --> 00:13:32,085
they accused people like
that of being witches
395
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,827
and threw water at them
to see if they screamed.
396
00:13:33,852 --> 00:13:34,851
Great.
397
00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:35,942
Aah!
398
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,513
- Witch.
- [hose nozzle clacks]
399
00:13:39,723 --> 00:13:40,979
Ah, Mr. Pritchett I presume.
400
00:13:41,004 --> 00:13:42,804
Hi. Thank you so much for coming.
401
00:13:42,873 --> 00:13:44,405
I'm not sure I caught your name.
402
00:13:44,481 --> 00:13:45,680
- Keifth Banks.
- Yes.
403
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,832
- At your...
- [bells jingle]
404
00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:49,934
Mitchell, sorry to interrupt. I didn't
know you were with a common worker.
405
00:13:50,137 --> 00:13:51,520
Can it be?
406
00:13:51,545 --> 00:13:52,644
Hmm?
407
00:13:52,669 --> 00:13:54,268
Cameron Tucker.
408
00:13:54,629 --> 00:13:56,598
Yes. I'm sorry. You are...?
409
00:13:56,623 --> 00:13:57,789
Keifth.
410
00:13:57,814 --> 00:13:59,215
Keifth. I-I don't believe I know...
411
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,371
No, C-Cam, didn't you tell me
412
00:14:01,396 --> 00:14:03,696
you once dated someone named Keifth?
413
00:14:03,721 --> 00:14:06,455
Oh, yes. Keifth.
414
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,660
What was it you did again?
415
00:14:07,685 --> 00:14:10,481
I remember you wore white
gloves and... and gestured a lot.
416
00:14:10,506 --> 00:14:11,550
Subway mime?
417
00:14:11,575 --> 00:14:14,246
I commanded a circus.
418
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,954
Yes. Now I remember.
419
00:14:15,979 --> 00:14:17,024
How have you been?
420
00:14:17,049 --> 00:14:18,430
I see you're in pig delivery now?
421
00:14:18,455 --> 00:14:19,888
I'm a concierge.
422
00:14:19,913 --> 00:14:22,513
The circus business has
gotten rather difficult.
423
00:14:22,538 --> 00:14:23,938
People today, they
don't have the patience
424
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:26,259
for the more elegant
pleasures of yesteryear...
425
00:14:26,284 --> 00:14:28,633
men putting their heads
into lion's mouths,
426
00:14:28,658 --> 00:14:30,825
unfortunate little people
being shot from cannons.
427
00:14:30,893 --> 00:14:33,360
I can't believe you... you're
meeting up again like this.
428
00:14:33,428 --> 00:14:35,195
You must have so much to catch up on
429
00:14:35,263 --> 00:14:36,897
or... or... or work through.
430
00:14:36,957 --> 00:14:38,727
Oh, well, I'm sure Keifth would rather
431
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:41,384
just make the delivery and disappear.
432
00:14:41,409 --> 00:14:42,503
Start there.
433
00:14:42,571 --> 00:14:44,470
- To the matter at hand.
- [trunk opens]
434
00:14:44,495 --> 00:14:46,261
The swap will be difficult.
435
00:14:46,533 --> 00:14:49,167
Fortunately, I have had a bit
of experience with misdirects...
436
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:52,290
just tell the audience to keep
your eyes on the center ring!
437
00:14:52,477 --> 00:14:54,376
They won't even notice
the trapeze act suffering
438
00:14:54,401 --> 00:14:56,610
through the more vivid
stages of food poisoning.
439
00:14:56,635 --> 00:14:58,313
- That happened. I was there.
- Oh.
440
00:14:58,338 --> 00:15:02,876
First, I will release a live peacock...
441
00:15:02,993 --> 00:15:05,894
an exotic beauty of the
Orient... into the yard.
442
00:15:05,919 --> 00:15:07,095
Magical.
443
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,830
Then, I will need
something to lure him inside
444
00:15:10,855 --> 00:15:12,387
to draw the family's attention.
445
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,524
Do you happen to have
any Andalusian filberts?
446
00:15:14,549 --> 00:15:15,548
No.
447
00:15:15,573 --> 00:15:16,772
Then Cheez-Its will do.
448
00:15:16,868 --> 00:15:18,321
Naturally, everyone will be transfixed.
449
00:15:18,346 --> 00:15:20,746
And while they're distracted,
we will swap out the pigs,
450
00:15:20,771 --> 00:15:23,939
the dinner will be saved,
and the show will go on.
451
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:26,134
Just let me sneak a
peek at the backyard.
452
00:15:27,819 --> 00:15:29,587
Goodbye.
453
00:15:29,844 --> 00:15:31,310
Hey, Joe,
454
00:15:31,335 --> 00:15:35,069
what has two heads,
four legs, and can fly?
455
00:15:35,094 --> 00:15:36,526
I don't know.
456
00:15:36,551 --> 00:15:38,418
Us. Aah!
457
00:15:38,443 --> 00:15:39,877
This is dangerous!
458
00:15:39,902 --> 00:15:41,936
That's how you know we're alive!
459
00:15:41,961 --> 00:15:43,532
It's like I said in my wedding toast...
460
00:15:43,557 --> 00:15:45,180
that bride of yours is fearless.
461
00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:46,501
Yeah.
462
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,587
Funny thing is, we went to an
amusement park earlier today
463
00:15:49,612 --> 00:15:52,720
and she was too scared
to get on this one ride.
464
00:15:53,033 --> 00:15:55,266
Or she pretended to be
465
00:15:55,291 --> 00:15:57,926
so that I wouldn't have to
admit how scared I was.
466
00:15:58,994 --> 00:16:00,696
I have a hunch that
she's not the only one
467
00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:02,922
who's trying to protect
my feelings today.
468
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,696
You seem to be rambling, son.
469
00:16:06,962 --> 00:16:08,355
When you hugged Claire earlier,
470
00:16:08,423 --> 00:16:10,357
she felt a ring box in your pocket.
471
00:16:10,425 --> 00:16:12,563
What? That wasn't a ring box.
472
00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:15,389
It was... Where am I?
I'm so old and confused.
473
00:16:15,414 --> 00:16:16,746
Stop.
474
00:16:16,771 --> 00:16:18,204
I'm not gonna say
seeing you with Lorraine
475
00:16:18,229 --> 00:16:19,427
wasn't a little bit weird for me.
476
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,430
It was a crazy idea.
477
00:16:21,455 --> 00:16:22,477
That's not what I'm trying to say.
478
00:16:22,502 --> 00:16:24,016
That pig's got to be ready, doesn't it?
479
00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:25,139
Dad, please.
480
00:16:25,164 --> 00:16:27,599
Son, can we please not do this?
481
00:16:27,866 --> 00:16:29,212
Fine.
482
00:16:29,516 --> 00:16:31,704
- Knock, knock.
- That's more like it.
483
00:16:31,737 --> 00:16:32,903
Who's there?
484
00:16:32,928 --> 00:16:34,509
- Your son.
- Your son, who?
485
00:16:34,534 --> 00:16:36,952
Your son who'd hate to think you
threw away a shot at happiness
486
00:16:36,977 --> 00:16:38,558
just to protect his feelings.
487
00:16:40,516 --> 00:16:41,531
[door closes]
488
00:16:41,563 --> 00:16:43,148
Here it is. All here.
Just take it from me.
489
00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:44,227
That's the most stress I've ever felt,
490
00:16:44,252 --> 00:16:45,266
and I spent two weeks underground
491
00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:46,610
as part of an isolation study.
492
00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:49,202
Okay. So, I guess now
we can finish this.
493
00:16:49,227 --> 00:16:51,491
Ay, Mitch. Mitch, come. Help us finish.
494
00:16:51,516 --> 00:16:54,179
Okay. Okay. We got to
lightning round these forms.
495
00:16:54,204 --> 00:16:55,843
You guys are overthinking this.
496
00:16:55,868 --> 00:16:57,085
Everybody knows in their
heart what they want.
497
00:16:57,154 --> 00:16:59,120
They just feel bad about
making the decision.
498
00:16:59,188 --> 00:17:01,599
So, who will be the
executor of your estate? Go.
499
00:17:01,624 --> 00:17:03,110
- You.
- Aww. Okay.
500
00:17:03,135 --> 00:17:05,392
Um, do you want to leave
anything to charity?
501
00:17:05,461 --> 00:17:09,429
Yes. 10% to whatever is
sexy at the time we die...
502
00:17:09,498 --> 00:17:11,626
like, um, orphans or whatever.
503
00:17:11,651 --> 00:17:13,071
Okay, okay, yeah. And what about Stella?
504
00:17:13,096 --> 00:17:14,134
Same as Manny.
505
00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,141
No, he's asking who's
gonna take care of her,
506
00:17:16,166 --> 00:17:19,048
not how much money you're
gonna leave to a murderer.
507
00:17:19,073 --> 00:17:20,016
No proof of that.
508
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:21,180
Okay, this seems like a whole sidebar,
509
00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:22,571
so we're gonna circle back to that.
510
00:17:22,596 --> 00:17:24,954
Um, who do you want as
Joe's legal guardian?
511
00:17:25,321 --> 00:17:26,884
No, no, don't think. Just answer, okay?
512
00:17:26,909 --> 00:17:28,423
If something happens to both of you,
513
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,134
who do you want to take care of Joe?
514
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,624
MANNY: Me, obviously.
515
00:17:32,649 --> 00:17:35,234
Ay, Manny, you're too young.
516
00:17:35,259 --> 00:17:37,827
Besides, you're about to
start your new life soon.
517
00:17:37,852 --> 00:17:40,148
Yeah, you should be out sowing
your oats or just sewing.
518
00:17:40,173 --> 00:17:41,585
- That's something you like.
- [scoffs]
519
00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:43,009
I don't see what the big deal is.
520
00:17:43,034 --> 00:17:46,264
I'd hire a nanny, sell the
house, downsize to a condo.
521
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,699
I'm thinking maybe a loft in
an up-and-coming arts district.
522
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,040
Sure, it'll take me a bit
longer to finish college,
523
00:17:51,065 --> 00:17:53,580
but aren't those the best
years of life, anyway?
524
00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,477
The main thing is, he's my brother.
525
00:17:55,502 --> 00:17:57,135
I'm not letting anybody else raise him.
526
00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,173
Ay, Manny. You're so sweet.
527
00:18:00,198 --> 00:18:01,399
Am I the only one unsettled
528
00:18:01,424 --> 00:18:03,355
by how much he's thought
about that already?
529
00:18:03,380 --> 00:18:05,243
[indistinct conversations]
530
00:18:05,805 --> 00:18:07,102
[peacock caws]
531
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,204
- Oh, my God! Look!
- What?
532
00:18:09,229 --> 00:18:12,230
Cast your spell, nature's kaleidoscope!
533
00:18:12,255 --> 00:18:14,212
Why is there a blue turkey
going into the house?
534
00:18:14,237 --> 00:18:15,352
It's a peacock.
535
00:18:15,377 --> 00:18:17,751
It's really plowing
through the Cheez-Its.
536
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:20,102
Oh, we forgot to put the
apple the new pig's mouth.
537
00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:21,527
Oh, just leave it.
538
00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:23,930
Now that's your answer
to everything, isn't it?
539
00:18:23,955 --> 00:18:25,462
I deserve that.
540
00:18:25,759 --> 00:18:27,287
I was a fool to think
I could get through this
541
00:18:27,312 --> 00:18:28,811
without you bringing up the way I left.
542
00:18:28,836 --> 00:18:30,368
Well, you broke my heart.
543
00:18:30,393 --> 00:18:32,290
I didn't mean to hurt you, Cameron.
544
00:18:32,642 --> 00:18:33,923
I just had to protect myself.
545
00:18:33,948 --> 00:18:35,329
When we first met, you were just...
546
00:18:35,354 --> 00:18:38,021
pure, raw potential.
547
00:18:38,393 --> 00:18:40,927
Your Missouri twang. [chuckles]
548
00:18:41,236 --> 00:18:43,165
The innocent way your shirt cuffs
549
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,915
were no different than your sleeves.
550
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,173
Once you emerged from
your country cocoon,
551
00:18:47,198 --> 00:18:48,665
I knew it was just a matter of time
552
00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:51,525
before you realized you
could do better and moved on.
553
00:18:51,618 --> 00:18:53,618
But you never even said goodbye.
554
00:18:53,687 --> 00:18:55,619
For all these years, I-I
thought it was my fault.
555
00:18:55,688 --> 00:18:57,220
Oh, no.
556
00:18:57,289 --> 00:18:58,622
No.
557
00:19:00,326 --> 00:19:01,899
I was a coward.
558
00:19:02,258 --> 00:19:06,165
I just ran away to join another circus.
559
00:19:07,903 --> 00:19:09,243
I suppose you could say the...
560
00:19:09,268 --> 00:19:11,696
the one ring you never
mastered was the ring of life.
561
00:19:11,721 --> 00:19:13,930
Well, that's kind of mean, but sure.
562
00:19:13,955 --> 00:19:16,398
- And look at your beautiful home.
- Oh, it's...
563
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,368
You've blossomed into the
success I always knew you'd be.
564
00:19:18,393 --> 00:19:19,680
Correct.
565
00:19:21,246 --> 00:19:23,610
I did so enjoy our
time together, Cameron.
566
00:19:24,519 --> 00:19:26,509
Remember that split week
between Lansing and Kalamazoo?
567
00:19:26,534 --> 00:19:27,852
Oh, my gosh, how could I forget?
568
00:19:27,877 --> 00:19:30,680
The rain dripping on the canvas.
569
00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:33,274
Me sneaking into your
wagon after curfew.
570
00:19:33,299 --> 00:19:35,454
I believe that was the
first time you saw me...
571
00:19:35,479 --> 00:19:37,360
without my top hat.
572
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,384
Okay.
573
00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:39,572
Well, wounds healed,
574
00:19:39,597 --> 00:19:41,588
whole new perspective, off you go.
575
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:45,440
Goodbye, Cameron.
576
00:19:45,465 --> 00:19:46,807
Goodbye, Keifth.
577
00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:51,517
Oh, hey, honey.
578
00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:52,931
- FRANK: I, uh...
- Whatcha doing?
579
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:56,416
Oh, I think it's cute how scared he is.
580
00:19:56,441 --> 00:19:58,166
Yeah, but he's doing it.
581
00:19:58,191 --> 00:19:59,462
Yes.
582
00:19:59,487 --> 00:20:02,869
There's one Dunphy who's not
afraid to live dangerously.
583
00:20:02,894 --> 00:20:04,233
Oh.
584
00:20:05,016 --> 00:20:06,494
Hey, Claire?
585
00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:10,089
They're open for two more hours.
586
00:20:10,707 --> 00:20:13,671
- [laughs]
- Everything's gonna be okay.
587
00:20:13,696 --> 00:20:15,257
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
588
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,757
2017!
589
00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:19,350
It's gonna be a great yea...
590
00:20:23,084 --> 00:20:24,531
Phil?
591
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,756
Oh.
592
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,482
Cam, this is so delicious.
593
00:20:29,498 --> 00:20:30,583
Well, you know, after Thanksgiving,
594
00:20:30,608 --> 00:20:32,542
I'm just happy nothing went wrong.
595
00:20:32,567 --> 00:20:33,700
I love this seasoning.
596
00:20:33,768 --> 00:20:35,501
What gives it that nutty taste?
597
00:20:35,570 --> 00:20:36,837
It might be nuts, sweetheart.
598
00:20:36,905 --> 00:20:38,205
Oh, no, he wouldn't put nuts in it.
599
00:20:38,273 --> 00:20:39,786
He knows I'm allergic.
600
00:20:40,809 --> 00:20:41,975
Excuse me.
601
00:20:42,044 --> 00:20:43,143
- Hi.
- [door closes]
602
00:20:43,212 --> 00:20:44,211
HALEY: Hey, how was the ride?
603
00:20:44,279 --> 00:20:45,812
Amazing. Phil fainted.
604
00:20:45,881 --> 00:20:47,700
- PHIL: Claire.
- Oh, come on, they were gonna find out.
605
00:20:47,725 --> 00:20:49,388
I'm not spending $15 on this picture
606
00:20:49,413 --> 00:20:51,683
and not show it to everyone.
607
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,030
I'm just gonna need you
to spit into this napkin.
608
00:20:54,055 --> 00:20:56,070
- EpiPen is on the way.
- Just keep the card.
609
00:20:56,095 --> 00:20:58,453
- [Haley laughs]
- CLAIRE: Isn't that amazing?
45031
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