All language subtitles for Modern.Family.S08E08.720p

Ahh, breakfast lasagna!

Great call, honey.

Stay away from it.

It's for everybody tonight.

That's two meals away.

Hello.

Hey, colonel, what's up?

Mommy, could Ivan
come for dinner?

No, señor,

'cause tonight the whole family

is coming over for dinner,

'cause we're gonna vote on

where we're going
on vacation this year.

A vote with a moral stain on it,

since ballots are reserved
for land-owning adults.

Because nobody wants to go

to the birthplace
of Edgar Allan poe.

Damn colonel screwed me

and took his name
off my petition.

I'm trying to overturn
this dumb rule the club passed

banning cigars within
40 feet of the main lodge.

When my country passed a law

that allowed them
to drown 14 year olds,

you said, "these things happen."

I just bought a box of
El conquistador especiales.

And they deserve to be smoked
in a fine leather chair,

not out by the fountain
in some heavily-spidered area.

I don't want this in my house.

Can't smoke at home,
can't smoke at the club.

Maybe Stella has room
in her doghouse.

Where is she, anyway?

Haven't seen her
since the morning.

I don't know where Stella is.

I think it has something to do

with the shock collar
that I had to put on her

Because she kept running away.

Maybe I tell Jay that I thought
it was a necklace.

He was the one
who wanted to Pierce her ears.

Hey sweetie,
your breakfast is on the table.

Ah, what's this?

Oh! Ooh, let me guess.

The guy in the Cologne ad.

I've named him. It's Giovanni.

He's in love with me.

Well, he's leaving you for me.

I'm sorry.

We never meant for it to happen.

What's that?

Toast, toast is done.
Those Russian brothers

who are renting
the unit upstairs,

are they... Gone.

Because it's already been
30 days, okay?

And the rules are very clear.

I know all about
squatter's rights, Mitchell.

Why do you always
have to treat me

like I'm some irresponsible...

Idiot?

The Russian brothers
wanted one more night.

So I took cash,
and I didn't tell Mitchell,

and now they won't leave.

We have squatters.

First termites, now squatters.

At least the termites
weren't my fault.

Look at this
beautiful side table

somebody just left
on the street.

Oh, do you need a hand? No,
it's like ridiculously light.

Flapjacks for mi amore?

Oh, grazie. Ugh. I don't
know what's more syrupy...

you two or Luke's chin.

That's weird.
I haven't had breakfast yet.

You'll have to excuse us.

Your father and I watched

A very romantic movie
last night.

Okay, Google,

Play the soundtrack
to "spaghetti for pepe."

Playing soundtrack.

Ooh. Mi scusa.

- Whoa. Watch the new kicks.
- What?

You have another pair
of new sneakers?

What is that job at the club
paying you?

It's the tips, mom.

There's this one lady,

Hold the door for her...
10 bucks.

Bring her an ice tea with lemon,
another 10 bucks.

Best tips I ever made
was when we passed the hat

after a performance of my
improv group, "rule of three."

We were known for our sketches,
song parodies,

And full-frontal nudity.

Uhp.

Hello?

You are all out of orange juice.

I understand.

I have to go out
for orange juice.

Yes, I understand.

I have to go out
for orange juice.

Mitchell?

I have to go out
for orange juice.

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*MODERN FAMILY*
Season 08 Episode 08
"The Alliance"
Precisely Synchronized by srjanapala

Thank you for coming.
I have a problem with Russians.

Being married to a pritchett
is great.

So great! The best!

But they can be
a... a tad judgmental.

- Almost punitive.
- They are monsters.

That's why the three of us
formed a... a secret alliance

To help each other
cover up our...

- Our little mistakes.
- Like back in December,

when I hastily purchased
an expensive prop

for an open house.

Thanks so much for hiding it.

Claire would kill me.

And it's only till Monday,
when I can return it.

Don't worry.

Ay, ay!

Hi!

Oh, welcome home!

- You're so early, right?
- Not really.

Ah! There is that smile that I love.

- Why don't you take me to lunch?
- Okay.

What happened here, anyway?

You get into
Joe's scented markers again?

So now, I have scary Russian
squatters who won't leave.

We'll have a small window
when Mitchell goes to the gym.

He usually stretches,

takes a lap
around the locker room,

and then gets a smoothie.

You two deal with the Russians,

and I'll keep Mitch distracted.

- Anything else?
- Yes.

Our gate is broken,

and Stella keeps
getting out in the street.

I bought her a shock collar.

I thought about getting one
when Luke was younger.

Claire ended up just shaking
a can of pennies at him.

It spooked her and she's hiding.

We need to find her before Jay
does and sees the collar.

He has warned me many times
not to get one

because they are cruel.

All right, we'll deal
with the Russians first,

then come find Stella
before the big vote.

We do not have much time.

We need to go.

I actually ordered a sandwich.

Is Rainer not here yet?

Oh no, he is.

He, uh, signed a head shot
I didn't ask for,

and then went to the bathroom.

There's his daughter.

I've never met a boyfriend's
daughter before.

I mean,
I went out with Stacy's dad,

but I've known her
since, like, kindergarten.

You're nervous?

I mean, how could this go wrong?

She's a teenage girl.
That's when you peaked.

I know.

I guess
I just really like this guy,

and I want
to be able to show him

I can fit into the more
complicated parts of his life.

Hey, Princess.

- Hey!
- Hey.

Six people filmed me
arguing with that meter maid,

and no one caught
this adorable moment?

Mwah.

So, you must be April.

Uh, yeah?

April, tone.

I'll grab a chair.

Sorry. That's work.
Gotta take that.

Anyways, I'm Haley,
your dad's, uh...

- Latest?
- Yes!

Flash flood in the mohave,
they need me to cover.

The water's already ramp high
at the senior center.

You know, a puppy floats
by on a pizza box,

This could be national.

Oops, snakes. Our day!

I'll just go to mom and Jeff's.

No, no, we were supposed to
get to know each other today.

Um, I can watch you.

Because I'm 4?

Oh, tone.

Are you sure?

Yes. Girls day.
We'll meet you later.

Oh, okay, thank you
for understanding, sweetie.

- No problem.
- No problem.

O-O-Oh! Ho!!

Tragedy strikes.

Dozens dead.

Tragedy strikes.

Dozens dead.

And our final order of business
is our entry

to this year's
expo internacional du closet.

What do we got?

Okay, so we all know

that Europeans prefer strong

but simple lines...

- Which is why I think
- Mm-hmm.

that we should go with
the trafalgar.

Interesting.

It's sturdy, dependable.

On the other hand,

the matterhorn is a chance
to shake things up.

Think about
what the danes did in '02.

Also valid.

It's bold, innovative.

Ah, gotta take this.

Civil rights issue over at the
club I have to deal with.

Hello.

What's so funny?

What are you laughing at?

It's so cute how nervous you are

about your first expo.

It's like every time
we throw out an idea,

You have to look to see
what your dad is thinking.

I don't do that.

I-I-I don't do that at all, dom.

maybe you do that with your dad.

Gary won't sign my petition
unless I sign his.

It'll be a cold day in hell

before that hippie
tees off in flip-flops.

Where were we?

I was just about
to make my decision

between the trafalgar
and the matterhorn.

Mm-hmm.

I got the power suit,
the corner office.

A closet doesn't get installed
in this town

without me knowing about it.

But one important decision,

and suddenly I'm this pig-tailed
little girl in Mary Janes

Looking to daddy
to tell me I'm smart.

Uh, it's... Too important
a decision to make right now.

I'm just gonna take the rest
of the day to think about it.

Okay, but Munich
needs to know by 5:00.

I know,
but this is a tough choice.

Is it?

Hey, I brought your clothes
for tonight.

Oh, thank you honey,
that's so sweet.

- How's it going with, um...
- The Wi-Fi won't work,

and this whole place
smells like cup o' noodles.

Mom, this is April,
Rainer's daughter.

Pleasure to meet you.

Hi! So, I'm gonna
look for a ladies' room.

Do they have those in factories?

Uh, we do, yes.

It's just down the hall.

- Just down the hall.
- Thanks, Echo.

Um! What's so funny?

Oh, just you dealing
with a teenage girl.

Not as easy as it looks, is it?

Excuse me. I'm doing just fine.

Hey, kiddo.

We gonna see you tonight
for the big vacation vote?

You bet. Mind if I bring
an unbearable teenager?

What's one more.

Listen, I'm gonna
run over to the club

and scare up one last signature for
my cigar petition. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Oh, have you decided
on what closet for the expo?

'Cause I was thinking...

No! No, no, no. No, thank you.

I will let you know
when I have made my decision.

Sure. Sandwich looks good.

Does it?
Does it look good to you?

'Cause that doesn't mean
it's a good sandwich.

It's not. As a matter of fact,
it's not a good sandwich.

- All right, see you guys later tonight.
- Uh-huh.

Just do it. Okay.

Luke?

Buddy?

Kevin, was that my grandson
taking off in that sportscar?

Yeah, it was.

That's quite a spin
on that response.

What's going on?

Maggie braithwait
has some work for him

to do around her house.

She's got an eye for the young ones.
Should I be worried?

She might try
and pressure him a little,

But Luke's a smart kid, right?

Damn it.

Oh, thank God you're here.

I can hear the Russians upstairs
laughing at democracy.

All right, shall we?

No. I work alone.

If you hear two bodies
hit the floor, it's done.

If you hear three,
one tried to get back up.

Okay...

Oh! I'm so sorry!

Phil!

Oh, Mitchell!

Wow, that's crazy.

Is... is this your gym?

Yeah. Oh.

I was just heading
into the post office.

You mind keeping me company?
They're always quick.

Oh, well, actually, I gotta...

I don't have my keys.

Oh, I must have dropped them.

Oh, no. Well, I'll...
I'll help you check the gym.

You remember what machines
you were using?

All of them.

We scoured that gym.

It actually did take
a crazy long time,

because Mitchell
kept getting lost.

But I still needed
a little more time.

Ugh, sorry that took so long.

I can't pass up
a library book sale.

I mean, a dollar
for as many magazines

as you can fit in the car.

Yeah, national geo...

Ireland, land of savages.

How old are these?

Hi, honey.

Hey, Phil, I know
you already went to the store

for o.J. This morning.

But can you go back
and grab some wine for tonight?

You got it.

Ciao, Bella.

You went out for orange juice
this morning?

That's a coincidence.
Cam did too.

That is a coincidence.
That's... that's really...

Every day, I take Joe to a park
in a Russian neighborhood.

We like it there.

I have picked up a few phrases

that the Russian nannies
tell to the Russian kids.

Well, it's pretty simple, Mitch.

You just touch everything,

and then when the tow truck guy

shows up
and sees your dirty paws,

He knows you're a pro.

Also, say "fan belt"
as often as you...

Mitchell?

Mitchell?

Hello.

The red panda's left the zoo.

- Red panda?
- Mitchell's code name!

I stalled him for as long
as I could, and he got away.

- Okay, well, how much time do I have?
- I'm not sure.

I don't really know where I am.

All I can see is...

- Oh, there's your house.
- What?

Cam. hi, sweetheart!

S-S-Save the Southern charm,
Scarlett.

Phil was clearly just trying
to keep me from here.

- What?
- Yeah, I-I lost my keys,

And sudden...
suddenly he shows up and...

Does this have something to do

with the thud we heard upstairs?

Mitchell,
I... I say this with love,

but you're coming unhinged.

The suspicions, the accusations,

the mechanical
sexual performance...

Where has Mitchell gone?

Yeah, I'm...
but I'm not a doctor,

So if you think something's
going on upstairs.

By all means,
let's go take a look.

You know, on the other hand,

if I were a doctor, I would say,

"what's up with all
the conspiracy theories?"

It's textbook paranoia.

Everyone's talking about it.

But again, not a doctor,
so shall we?

Huh.

Well, you know,
there are 30 different ways

to say "I'm sorry" in Russian.

I'm sorry.

Maybe I was being paranoid.

Apology accepted.

And I'm sorry for calling
your lovemaking mechanical.

I actually really like your
shy, school teacher character.

El conquistador especial.

My dad's brand.

That doesn't explain
the lipstick, though.

No, my dad won't even wear
chapstick.

He says it's a gateway balm.

- Grandpa?
- Oh, geez.

I knew I should have
run that yellow.

Where's your shirt?

Mrs. Braithwait wanted me
to move some boxes,

and told me to take it off
so it didn't get dirty.

But I kinda feel dirty anyway.

Grab your shirt. We're leaving.

Luke, let's get those dirty,
tight pants in the wash.

- Oh, hello.
- How are ya?

I'm here to pick up
my barely-legal grandson.

I recognize you.

From the club, right?

You're the one fighting
that silly new cigar rule.

Excuse me?

- Where'd you put my shirt?
- Give us a minute, kid.

It is a dumb rule, isn't it.

It's terrible.

My late husband loved
smoking in the main lodge.

Is that whose Cologne
you made me put on?

Hey, hey, hey. Boxes, right?

I've got a petition here.

Why don't you read it quick?

You might want to sign it.

Oh, I'm not sure
now's such a good time.

My neck is so...

Luke, get in there.

Put your magic fingers to work.

Mm. How do you know my body
this well?

Right there on the "x."

ooh...

Oh, you seem relaxed.

I should stop.

Not just yet.

If it would be easier,
just hold the pen,

and I will move the paper
underneath.

If I'd have known
you were this good,

I would have had you do my feet.

He's gonna get there.

He's working his way down.

Ahh.

Probably just your initials
would be okay.

You know what?

If you don't mind,
I'm gonna sign this later.

Send it home with Luke.

All right, come on.

We're done.

Okay, but, uh...

You're definitely
gonna sign it, right?

Definitely, promise. All right.

Bye-bye.

Luke, we should probably
get upstairs

and flip that mattress.

Luke, I'm sorry.

I forgot your mom

needs you home
for your piano lesson.

Let's go. Gotta run. See ya.

Took you long enough.

Oh, please,
it was an extra 10 seconds.

What could have happened?

She asked me to do push-ups

while she put on
her wedding dress.

Wow, she jumped right
to the honeymoon handshake.

It has a name?

Don't you and your dad
ever talk?

Okay, we've searched everywhere
for Stella, no sign. Yet.

Don't worry, we'll find her
before the gray goat does.

Who?

Jay. Come on, guys,

I spend a lot of time
on those code names.

Okay, hurry, because
he takes a picture of her

every day at the same time.

Because he's making a flip book.

Ay, watch out, watch out.

I think Mitchell
is looking at us.

Okay, I thought I cooled
his suspicions this morning.

Laugh and disperse.

Ay!

- Hey, mom. Red wine?
- Oh, thanks.

- Grandpa said you'd like it.
- Really?

Well, who cares what he thinks?

Just 'cause he likes something,
I'm supposed to like it?

Unreal.

Mm, and of course, it's gross.

Okay, well,
I'll just take it back then.

No, no! No need to make
a big deal out of things.

I'll just drink it.

Hey! Any word from your dad?

He texted me, like,
two hours ago.

I told him how you kept the
car running when you got gas

and could've blown me up.

But you told him about
the fun things too right?

We had that huge cookie,

you spun away from me fast and
got your hair in my mouth.

What was that for?

My friend Betsy
has an insta about sad stuff.

Uh-huh...

- Oh, I-I wasn't...
- No, it's okay. I don't judge.

I'm wearing a clear
coat on my nails. Ah.

Yeah, I know,
what a chowder head.

Hey, speaking of
that regional delicacy...

I am not voting to go to Boston

Just so we could see
where America's first ghoul

was potty trained.

Care to wipe the lipstick
off my neck

from where you bit my head off?

Hey... and why is there
no orange juice?

My mom went out for some
this morning.

Really?

That you find interesting?

Might as well pack for seaworld
right now.

Hey, guys, have you seen April?

Just saw her a minute ago.

She had me posefor some
instagram thing her friend does.

What is this?

- Clothes that don't come from a mall.
- Hold on, hold on.

I'm supposed to be watching you.

I'm going to Betsy's.

- My uber's out front.
- Who is this Betsy?

Are her parents even home?

And you're 14.
You're not ubering anywhere.

Also, you...
you can lose the makeup

Because you look like
a prostitute

at an electronics convention.

Now, go wipe it off
and help set the table.

Huh.

What?

I'm... I'm not used to being
all parenty, okay?

No, you did a great job.

Oh, thanks.

I just felt weird 'cause
you were standing right there,

and you're, like, the expert.

Oh, I am hardly the expert.

I still...

I still have my own stuff
to work on.

Hm.

Maybe I shouldn't have
called her a prostitute?

- You gotta have fun with it.
- Hm.

Hey, dad.

I'm sorry
that I barked at you today.

It's just with this whole
expo decision...

I hate feeling
like a little girl

that needs her daddy's help.

But I guess there's no harm
in looking to the guy

Who's been knocking it out of
the park for 25 years, right?

Nope.

And the best advice
that guy could give you is,

go with you gut...

'cause you're good at this.

Thanks.

Thanks. And I...

and I have
made a decision.

I'm going with the matterhorn.

Huh.

Damn it.

Look who I found!

Ay, thank God!

This is the first time
I'm so happy to see her.

Let's get this shock collar off
before he gets...

Hello, guys! Oh!

- There's my little baby.
- Ah!

You two,
take these in the house.

I've got a couple left in the trunk.
A little help, buddy.

- Oh, on the other side of the gate?
- Come on, Phil!

Couldn't they just
circle back around?

- Say what?
- It's nothing.

All right, take that.

Oh, mama!

What's wrong with you?
Pick it up.

Yeah, let's do it.
Let's pick it up.

Aah! Aah!

What the hell's
the matter with you?

- Why are you making those sounds?
I don't think that's...

mm.

All right,
when you're done here,

come back 'cause there's more.

Okie-doke.

What the hell is that?

Is that a shock collar?

I don't know,
but this is a shocked face.

Because I have never seen
something like that in my life.

So you obviously bought it.

I just didn't want Stella
to walk out in the street.

That's what a leash is for!

You're a bad dog owner.

Bad dog owner!

Why did you have it?

Well, I know why.

Yeah, because they're
all working together.

Oh, here we go.

You should've heard
his paranoia this morning

about the...
the Russian renters?

Oh, I'm glad... I'm glad
you brought up the Russians

Because look at what I found!

That's my
El conquistador especial.

Gloria took that from me
this morning.

Oh, let me guess,

right before she went out
to buy orange juice...

- That's right.
- Except for she wasn't.

She was with cam
getting rid of the squatters

While I was being stalled
by that man!

They helped me hide a reindeer!

From a year ago?

Who knows how long
this has been going on.

Okay, they've been in cahoots,

covering up
each other's mistakes

before we've even had
a chance to shame them.

Since this little alliance

made a decision
to go behind our backs.

Maybe we should make a decision
without them...

Oh... Like where we're
going on vacation.

- What?
- No, por favor, no!

- What?
- No!

- You can't do that.
- I like it. I like it.

Let's do this. Let's go vote.

Yep. We've got it.

- Okay.
- We've reached a decision.

Drum roll please.

[ Out-of-rhythm drum plays ]

Close enough.

The family is going to...

Italy!

Ah! Yes!

Oh, my God! That's awesome!

That's so awesome, guys!

Yeah.

The cutest part is that they
think it was their idea.

Mmm, what are you making?

I'm making an Italian dish

That Jay's mother used to make.

Breakfast lasagna.

Great call, honey.

Hi. Oh.

Hey, sweetie,
your breakfast is on the table.

Oh, what's this?

Oh! I've named him.
It's Giovanni.

I'm still thinking about
that movie last night.

You picked a good one.

Only the Italians could make
something that romantic.

Flapjacks for mi amore.

Oh, grazie.

No offense, dad,
but I'm not sure these magazines

are the treasure
trove of information.

- You thought they were.
- What are you talking about?

Now and forever.

Our mysterious neighbor
to the north.

Don't hate these photos
of the lost tribes.

That's a human head
hanging off her skirt.

Kids, these magazines
harken back to a time

when man had to forage
and fight for his foods.

You guys have it too easy
nowadays.

You can lay around
eating snacks saying,

"okay, Google,
dim the kitchen lights."

Sure thing.

Go ahead, dad.

Okay, Google,

Show me a video of a kangaroo

Playing badminton with a pirate.

Sure, playing on YouTube.

Watch. Aah! Ha!Ha!

Precisely Synchronized by srjanapala

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