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1
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:06,673
- Well, it's kinda hard for me to say.
2
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:10,303
But since I got out,
there's this place I've been going to.
3
00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:14,433
There's a minister there, Dr. Payne.
4
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:19,595
He's all about this shit called,
um, personal accountability.
5
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:24,148
And part of that is facing up to people
that you've hurt in the past,
6
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:27,031
making amends and shit.
7
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,695
So I came here today to,
8
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,534
to tell you that, uh,
9
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,294
that I deeply regret
shooting you in the ass.
10
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,634
You know, it was funny to me at the time,
11
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:45,045
but now I realize that
even though it was super funny,
12
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,670
it was also wrong.
13
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,879
So I just wanna say to you...
14
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,094
that I'm sorry--
15
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:53,724
ANGEL:
You didn't shoot me in my ass.
16
00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:58,269
It was the devil that shot me in my ass.
17
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,484
All that crazy shit
we did back in the day,
18
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,654
the devil made us do it.
19
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,034
- Nah, homey, I'm pretty sure it was me.
20
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:12,195
'Cause I actually remember
I was gonna shoot you in the leg,
21
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,117
but then at the last second I thought,
"Ah, fuck it.
22
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,580
It'll be funnier
if I shoot him in the ass."
23
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,537
- And who do you think told you
the ass would be funnier?
24
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,541
The devil, bro.
25
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,579
That dude's got a sick sense of humor.
26
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,792
I was just like you.
27
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,957
Weighed down by
all the evil shit that I did.
28
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,723
But once I realized
that it was the devil's fault,
29
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,376
poof,
30
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:33,844
all that guilt washed away.
31
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,635
So I appreciate you coming here today.
32
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,348
But you don't owe me an apology.
33
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,564
The devil did us both dirty.
34
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,227
- Hey, dawg, you sure
about this devil shit?
35
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,856
ANGEL:
The devil is all around us, my dude.
36
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,985
And he's making you do shit.
37
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,195
Spread the gospel.
38
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:05,579
- Ah.
39
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:08,709
[sighs]
40
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,889
♪ ominous music playing ♪
41
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:18,215
♪
42
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,403
♪ theme music playing ♪
43
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:36,992
♪
44
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,450
♪
45
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:52,421
♪
46
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,757
MAGGIE:
This bed is so tiny.
47
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,482
A grown-ass man should not be sleeping
48
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:07,056
in the same place
where he got his first boner.
49
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,726
- Nope. I got my first boner at church.
50
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,322
I had a crush on La Virgen de Guadalupe.
51
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,397
[Maggie chuckles]
52
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,912
All covered up.
What's under those robes, Lupe?
53
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,069
- Fuckin' nasty, dude.
54
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,792
We should get our own place.
55
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,827
With a big-ass bed.
56
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,788
And a giant toilet
for your huge-ass dumper.
57
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,633
- Heh... heh.
58
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,590
ANA:
Julio, I don't even know
59
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:38,432
the last time I saw your hair messy.
60
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,099
What are you trying to hide?
61
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,715
- Let it go.
- No, no, I'll show you right now.
62
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,142
- Hey.
ANA and MAGGIE: Oh.
63
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,600
Oh!
64
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,270
- Damn, okay. Ninja Warrior over here.
65
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:49,558
- I've seen his hair messy
plenty of times.
66
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,273
Miren. I got pics.
67
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:54,233
[laughter]
[speaking Spanish]
68
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,032
- It sticks straight up.
69
00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:58,906
ROCIO:
Oh, that reminds me,
70
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:03,286
Aiden, there's something you want to
ask your tío Julio and tía Maggie.
71
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,874
- Will you be
my nino and nina for my first communion?
72
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,751
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
73
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,709
- Of course, mijo.
74
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,210
- Ye-yeah, mijo, we'd love it.
75
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,944
- Good luck getting rid of me now, Julio.
76
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,150
[laughter]
77
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,163
- Hey.
78
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,947
- Jesus! You fuckin' creeper.
79
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,491
- Hey, do you really think
it's a good idea
80
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:46,874
to have Maggie as the godmother?
81
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,000
- Why wouldn't it be?
82
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,616
- Well, I think Ana's feelings are hurt
because you didn't ask her.
83
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,924
You know, she's family. Maggie's not.
84
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,668
ANA:
Uh, not interested. God isn't real.
85
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:57,510
When you die you go into the ground.
End of story.
86
00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,215
- See?
87
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:02,676
- Well, the other thing is me and Maggie
just got back together again.
88
00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:04,138
You know our history.
89
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,137
Who knows how long
we're gonna be together this time?
90
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,389
And then Aiden could lose his nina.
91
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,642
Poor little guy.
92
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,403
- Shut up, Julio.
No one gives a shit about godparents.
93
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,106
Do you remember who your padrinos are?
94
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:15,856
- Socorro and Vicente. Great people.
95
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:16,978
I'm actually gonna go see them later.
96
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,824
- Oh, that's weird because they're dead
and those aren't their names.
97
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:21,609
- Okay, so what are their names?
98
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,493
I'll go visit their graves
and pay my respects.
99
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,493
- I don't even believe
in any of this Catholic shit anyways.
100
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,913
I'm just trying to get this over with.
101
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,451
- Wait, you don't believe?
ROCIO: Ew, no.
102
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,963
Just doing it for my mom and abuelita.
103
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,167
Wait. Do you believe?
- Of course not.
104
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,092
- Why do you care if Maggie's madrina?
105
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,632
- Okay. Fine, then. Yeah. Great choice.
- I know.
106
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,012
- I love it.
107
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,179
Maggie's the madrina.
108
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,297
- You dumbass.
109
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,347
♪ ominous music on TV ♪
110
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,268
[roaring]
111
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,983
MICHAEL:
Oh, jeez. Jeez! Oh, jeez!
112
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,323
Oh, no, no, no.
113
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,488
No, no.
114
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,195
JULIO: [eerily]
Aiden.
115
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,947
♪ ominous music plays ♪
116
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,700
♪
117
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:12,162
So I guess you're pretty excited to have
your tía Maggie as your godmother, huh?
118
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,581
- Yeah.
119
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,962
- The thing is,
I don't think you should be.
120
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,167
Your tía Maggie, she's bad.
121
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,421
She's mean to your tío Julio.
122
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,053
- What does she do to you?
123
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,760
- She calls me nasty names.
124
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,298
Like Pepperoni Tits.
125
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,635
- That's funny.
- Well, that's not all she does.
126
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:33,851
She also hits me.
127
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,728
- She does?
128
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:38,319
- Yeah, she hits me really hard,
and it hurts a lot.
129
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:42,281
And if you let her be your godmother,
she might start hitting you too.
130
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,783
Also, she worships the devil.
131
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,411
- [gasps] Does she drink your blood?
132
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,117
- I've lost so much blood, mijo.
133
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,198
- Is that why you look so old?
134
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,713
♪
135
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,915
- Yes.
136
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:55,995
- Don't cry, tío.
137
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,419
- I'm not crying.
- Oh.
138
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,958
Kinda looked like
you were going to cry for a second.
139
00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,462
- No, I wasn't.
- Oh.
140
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,343
ROCIO:
Okay, kids, it's time to go.
141
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,933
- Okay, just tell your mom
you don't want your tía Maggie
142
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,257
to be your madrina, okay?
143
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,012
- Okay.
JULIO: I'll protect you. Give me a hug.
144
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:12,268
[whispering]
Get outta here. Go, go.
145
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,516
[evil laughter on TV]
146
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,232
- We are all animals, my lady.
147
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,781
Most are too afraid to see it.
148
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:23,860
JULIO:
Hey.
149
00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,070
How are the amends going?
150
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,531
I know that shit can be hard.
151
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,121
- No, I'm not doing that shit anymore.
152
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,776
Turns out the devil made me
do all that stuff,
153
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,414
so it wasn't even my fault.
154
00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,791
- What are you talking about,
the devil made you do it?
155
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,038
- Julio, you fucking pendejo!
156
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,460
- Did you tell Aiden that Maggie hits you
and worships the devil?
157
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,670
- What?
- It was a joke.
158
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,261
That fuckin' snitch
wasn't supposed to tell.
159
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,376
And also, I was just giving you an out.
160
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,643
You know, just in case
you don't wanna be Aiden's godmother.
161
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,885
- I didn't ask for an out.
162
00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,348
What the fuck is wrong with you?
163
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:55,227
- You know what, Julio?
You're fired as padrino.
164
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,475
- Good. It's what you get.
165
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,016
- Hey, Luis, you wanna be Aiden's nino?
166
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,652
- Oh, wow. It's a lot of responsibility.
167
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,902
You know, protecting him
from the devil and all.
168
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,821
Just wonder
if I'm up for the task at hand.
169
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,649
- Just fuckin' say yes, goddamn it.
- Alright. Yes, I'll do it.
170
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,526
Sabes que? I could get him
a piñata for the after-party.
171
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,623
[whistles]
172
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,328
- People don't buy piñatas
for a First Communion, dumbass.
173
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,869
- You clearly don't know
what you're talking about.
174
00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,042
You just got fired, bitch.
175
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,080
- Why the fuck
would you tell Aiden I hit you?
176
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,083
- It was a joke!
177
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,213
[camera shutter clicking]
178
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:28,683
♪ mariachi music playing ♪
179
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,823
♪
180
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,398
LUIS: Hey, I like your necklace.
- Oh, thank you.
181
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,994
Um, you look good too. Is this a new tie?
182
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,319
LUIS:
Nah, I jacked it from Julio.
183
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,494
[Luis laughs]
184
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,412
It looks like I'd be
the manager of Circuit City.
185
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,540
- Okay.
186
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,160
- Ay, see you in there.
187
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,253
COUSIN JOHNNY:
Damn.
188
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,418
So you're a padrino now?
189
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:03,381
Don't seem right to me.
190
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,957
- Oh, shit, Johnny?
191
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:06,262
It's been a long-ass time.
192
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,630
The last time I saw you, you were skinny.
193
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,884
What happened, homey,
you got a set of twins in there or what?
194
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,094
- Hey, fuck you, perro!
195
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,300
You got something you wanna say to me?
196
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:15,845
- Like what?
197
00:09:15,848 --> 00:09:18,348
- Like a fuckin' apology
for doing me dirty back in the day.
198
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,694
- Oh! Hey, you know what?
199
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,186
I recently found out
it wasn't me that did you dirty.
200
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,730
It was the devil.
201
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,442
I'm mad he did you dirty too.
202
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,073
JOHNNY:
That's some bullshit.
203
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,570
You're still a fuckin' asshole.
204
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,910
With a godfather like you,
205
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,414
I'm worried about
little dude Aiden over there.
206
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,422
Cabrón.
207
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:43,791
- ¿Sabes que?
208
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,302
I'm gonna be the best godfather
that little fool's ever had.
209
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,165
Aiden, where the fuck you going?
210
00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,054
- I-I gotta do my first confession.
211
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,970
- Alright, then, I got you, mijo.
212
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,219
I'm your fuckin' nino.
213
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,850
[bell tolling]
214
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:57,887
Let's go.
215
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:03,596
- [nervously] Uh, hi, father,
this is my first confession.
216
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,568
- Nothing to be nervous about, my son.
217
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,105
Just speak your sins.
218
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:10,821
- Alleged sins, homey.
219
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,618
- The sacrament of penance
is one that must be taken privately.
220
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:18,326
- It's cool, father, alright?
I'm the nino.
221
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:19,865
Go ahead, mijo.
222
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:23,417
- I make fart noises
with my armpit during school
223
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,285
when the teacher isn't looking.
224
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,172
I accused my brother Michael of farting
225
00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,419
when it was actually me who farted.
226
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,841
And I farted on his face
while he was sleeping.
227
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:36,597
- Well, my son,
farting itself is not a sin,
228
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:39,095
but doing so with malice is.
229
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,677
- Nah, nah, nah, hold up, dawg.
230
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,482
The devil made him do those farts.
231
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:47,271
- God gave us free will so that we may
choose between right and wrong.
232
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,902
- Damn, father!
233
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,779
You're just gonna let
the devil off the hook like that?
234
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:53,236
And furthermore,
you're gonna victim blame a little boy
235
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:54,697
who was tricked by a demon?
236
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,066
The devil made him
throw those pedos. Satanas!
237
00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,084
- Let's forget about the devil right now.
238
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,083
- Wish I could.
239
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,674
- Tell me more about your sins, my son.
240
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:07,495
- I also collect gum
from underneath the tables
241
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:09,803
and I put them in my brother's sandwiches.
242
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,545
LUIS: Hey, homey, don't tell
this fool anything else.
243
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:12,547
Alright? We're done here.
244
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,420
You know what, Mr. Priest?
245
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:15,764
You got a lot to learn about the devil.
246
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,389
Here, read this pamphlet I just got.
247
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:19,512
Right here.
248
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,635
- Wait. You're gonna break it.
What are you trying to do?
249
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,102
It doesn't fit.
250
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,732
- Nah, nah, it'll get through there.
251
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,058
PRIEST:
You could give it to me outside.
252
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,403
- Get it, get it, father.
- It won't fit.
253
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:31,068
LUIS: Alright, well, just come around
and get it when we leave.
254
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,986
Come on, let's go, mijo.
- No, you can't leave that here.
255
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,282
- So you're saying
I'm possessed by the devil?
256
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,405
- Yes.
257
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,988
But I'm your nino, okay?
I'm here to protect you from the devil.
258
00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:44,618
And I'm not gonna let some ruco
who's never been laid
259
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,331
try to make you feel guilty
about something the devil made you do.
260
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,250
- So whenever I do
something bad it's not my fault,
261
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,553
the devil made me do it?
262
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,086
- You got it.
263
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,089
Damn, you know what?
You're super smart, mijo.
264
00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,471
Just like me.
265
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,177
You know, they even made me
repeat the third grade
266
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,638
so I could help teach the other kids.
267
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:02,555
Because that's how smart I was.
268
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:07,391
♪ organ music playing ♪
269
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,024
♪
270
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,703
- You sure you wanna
sit next to your abuser?
271
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:20,817
- Come on! Are you really still mad at me?
272
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,584
It's been a week already.
ESPERANZA: Shh.
273
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,135
CONGREGATION:
Amen.
274
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,518
[snoring]
[priest speaking Spanish]
275
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,532
- Maggie, I said I was sorry.
276
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,083
What do you want me to do,
some Hail Marys or something?
277
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,499
Why do you even care about
being godmother so much?
278
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,288
You don't even believe
in this Catholic stuff.
279
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,421
- So? Neither do you.
280
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,877
[all gasp]
281
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,747
- [whispering]
Both of you shut up!
282
00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:23,352
- Fine. I'm sorry, Mags, you're fired.
283
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,505
[gasps]
284
00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:26,973
Ana, you're the godmother now.
285
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,734
- [gasps] I don't wanna be the godmother.
286
00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:31,598
You know I don't believe in this stuff.
287
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,483
- Well, today you do.
So shut up and believe in God.
288
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,691
Do it for Mom.
289
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:36,731
ESPERANZA:
Shh.
290
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,363
- Hey. Congratulations.
291
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,991
PRIEST: ...palabra de Dios.
[bell rings]
292
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,159
♪ organ music playing ♪
293
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:48,907
♪
294
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:51,873
- Amen.
295
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000
- Ay!
296
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,880
- The devil made me do it.
297
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,459
♪
298
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:03,178
[indistinct chatter]
299
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:04,797
- Congratulations, mijo.
300
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,473
You made the devil cry like a bitch
when you ate la hostia.
301
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,722
That's what's up.
302
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:09,814
[all gasp]
303
00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:11,519
ROCIO:
Aiden!
304
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,352
What is this?
305
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,022
- It's not my fault!
The devil made me do it.
306
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,573
He makes me do crazy things.
307
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,566
Like fart and steal.
308
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,647
LUIS:
No, no, no. He's right.
309
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,413
You know, the devil probably got pissed
310
00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:25,775
'cause God's winning Aiden over,
so that red fool, you know--
311
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,532
- Shut the hell up about the devil.
312
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,494
You've been talking
about that crap all week
313
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,084
and now you've put it
in my son's head too?
314
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,459
You're fired as padrino.
315
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:33,826
- Oh, what?
316
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:37,843
ALL:
No!
317
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,851
- Son... can I get one of those?
318
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,677
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
319
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:57,400
- Hey, father, can I ask you
for some fatherly advice?
320
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:58,940
- Yes, my son.
321
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:01,493
LUIS: Oh, you know,
I think I'm just confused 'cause,
322
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,145
you know, I missed
a lot of church growing up
323
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,663
'cause I was out there fuckin' around.
324
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:07,736
Your boy put it down on these streets.
325
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,791
But recently somebody told me that it was
the devil that made me do all that shit.
326
00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:12,787
But then you were in there
327
00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:15,958
saying how God gives us the power
to make our own choices.
328
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,038
So now I'm thinking that, like--
329
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:20,212
- All you need to do
is confess your sins to God
330
00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:21,922
and you shall be forgiven.
331
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,592
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
332
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,390
You're telling me all I gotta do is
confess to God and everything's cool?
333
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:29,175
- Confession to God
is the path to redemption.
334
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,980
- Yeah, this Catholic shit is dope!
335
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,635
No wonder why people
give you all their money.
336
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,603
Hey, hey, hey. ¿Sabes que, padre?
337
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,864
Can we do a confession like right now?
338
00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:43,858
- In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
339
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:45,781
- Oh, shit.
- You're forgiven.
340
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:50,365
♪ inspirational music plays ♪
341
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,487
- Hey. Gracias, padre.
342
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:53,504
Gracias.
343
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,912
- Wait. Can I get a light?
344
00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:58,457
Can I get a light?
345
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,208
♪ Spanish song playing ♪
346
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,460
[indistinct chatter in Spanish]
347
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,590
[speaking Spanish]
348
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,136
- Hola.
- Hola.
349
00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:13,561
- I'm Julio's boss.
350
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,934
Soy, uh--
351
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,484
Soy el jefe de Julio.
352
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:19,856
- Ah! El jefe de Julio.
MINISTER PAYNE: Julio's boss.
353
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:21,355
Sí, sí, sí.
354
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,073
- Sí.
355
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,869
♪ song continues ♪
356
00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:35,659
- Hey, Maggie, I talked to Rocio
357
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,252
and she says you're back
on madrina status
358
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,327
as long as I don't talk to her
for the rest of the day.
359
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:40,633
- I don't care.
360
00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:42,666
You threw me under the bus
in front of your whole family.
361
00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:46,168
- Okay, look, sorry for blowing up
your shit in front of my mom.
362
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,383
It's just you're always hanging around
with my fuckin' family.
363
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,553
That shit stresses me out.
We just got back together.
364
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:55,143
- Dude, maybe I wouldn't
hang with your family so much
365
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:57,680
if you didn't still live at home
like a fucking scrub.
366
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:01,024
Until you cut the fucking umbilical cord
and move out of your mom's house,
367
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,771
that's just how it's gonna be.
368
00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:06,895
- Alright, fuck it.
Let's move in together.
369
00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,783
- No mames. Fuck off.
370
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,075
[grunts]
371
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:17,786
♪
372
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:21,749
JULIO:
Why are you mad?
373
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,210
- I'm mad because you're full of shit.
374
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,630
You always say whatever
you have to say in the moment
375
00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:26,508
to get out of trouble,
and then you never back it up.
376
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:29,257
- Hey, I'm serious this time.
377
00:17:29,258 --> 00:17:31,008
I wanna move in with you,
378
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,929
but we're not moving into your place.
379
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,258
We're starting new.
380
00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:38,933
Let's get our own place
with a big-ass bed and a huge-ass toilet.
381
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,734
- You better not be
fucking with me this time.
382
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:43,809
JULIO:
Swear to God.
383
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,413
- I can't believe
you told Aiden I hit you.
384
00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:56,619
- You do hit me.
385
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,078
- And how many times have I told you
386
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,038
to keep your little whore mouth
shut about it?
387
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,828
♪ Spanish rock song playing ♪
388
00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:05,252
♪
389
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:09,882
♪
390
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,888
♪
391
00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:19,852
[Maggie chuckles]
392
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:25,520
♪
393
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,942
- No. Fuck that.
394
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,360
She's a virgin.
She needs to watch and learn.
395
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,530
- Cállate, cochino.
396
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:34,108
♪
397
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,033
- Hey, Johnny.
398
00:18:39,912 --> 00:18:42,502
I wanted to tell you
that shit that I did to you,
399
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:43,827
it actually was my fault.
400
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,125
But you know what, my boy?
401
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,416
Luckily, I confessed to God,
and that fool forgave me.
402
00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:51,296
So now you and I are all good.
Come on, let's take a shot.
403
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,378
- Dawg! You can't even say you're sorry.
404
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,800
You're pathetic.
405
00:18:58,722 --> 00:18:59,892
- Hey, hey, hey. You know what?
406
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,730
You're kinda being
a dick right now, Johnny.
407
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,845
You need to take this shot with me
and chill out.
408
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,152
[glass shatters]
409
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,805
[all gasp]
- Luis!
410
00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:09,232
- Fuck you, dawg!
411
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,578
[all gasp]
412
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,931
[snoring]
413
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:42,215
♪
414
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,644
MINISTER PAYNE:
Hey, Luis.
415
00:19:43,642 --> 00:19:45,232
♪
416
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:47,267
Rocio made me godfather.
417
00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:48,981
I'm a nino now.
418
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,863
Which one is Aiden again?
- Good for you.
419
00:19:52,276 --> 00:19:53,776
Everyone here thinks I'm an asshole.
420
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,411
it's like, man, get over that shit.
421
00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:58,155
♪
422
00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,236
- So the amends aren't going well?
423
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,702
LUIS:
No, they're not.
424
00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:03,452
You know, this one fool told me that
425
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,293
the devil made me do
all the shit that I did.
426
00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:07,713
Turns out the devil ain't real.
427
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,168
- Oh, no, the devil is real.
428
00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:11,712
He's just up here.
429
00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:15,594
And God is somewhere right over here.
430
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,842
All that stuff is in your head.
431
00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:21,644
I mean, it can feel like there's
a battle between good and evil,
432
00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:22,758
but really, it's just you.
433
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:23,814
It's just your mind.
434
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,100
You make choices,
you often live to regret those choices.
435
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:30,057
That's why you gotta say you're sorry.
436
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,693
And that's not gonna undo what you did.
437
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:35,111
But honestly, you're gonna
hate yourself a lot less.
438
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:38,030
So, you got that going for ya.
439
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:45,083
Sooner or later, you gotta
face that devil inside yourself.
440
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,543
- That motherfucker.
441
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:57,513
♪ classical music ♪
442
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:03,925
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
443
00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:06,101
[Maggie moaning]
444
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,349
MAGGIE:
Oh, my God. Oh, God!
445
00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:12,733
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah... ♪
446
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:14,111
Oh, my God!
JULIO: Right there.
447
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:15,527
MAGGIE: Oh, fuck!
JULIO: Give it to me.
448
00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,896
♪
449
00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:19,203
MAGGIE: Oh, God!
450
00:21:19,196 --> 00:21:21,656
Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
451
00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,827
[Maggie moans sharply]
452
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,365
Oh, fuck!
453
00:21:25,369 --> 00:21:27,539
JULIO: Oh, shit.
[Maggie panting]
454
00:21:27,538 --> 00:21:29,208
[murmuring]
455
00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:31,706
- Hey. [whistles]
456
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,627
Everybody, listen up.
457
00:21:35,504 --> 00:21:37,384
I just want to apologize, alright?
458
00:21:38,632 --> 00:21:41,012
I'm sorry for everything
I did to you in the past.
459
00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:42,677
Rocio,
460
00:21:43,512 --> 00:21:45,352
I'm sorry that I messed up
your son's primero communion
461
00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:46,887
by telling him
he was possessed by the devil.
462
00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:49,768
And I'm sorry that I tagged
a dick on your car in high school.
463
00:21:49,768 --> 00:21:51,308
- I fucking knew it!
- Shh. Shh.
464
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:53,521
- They called me dick girl
for a whole year.
465
00:21:53,522 --> 00:21:54,572
LUIS:
I know.
466
00:21:55,065 --> 00:21:56,775
I was also one of the fools
that called you that.
467
00:21:58,193 --> 00:21:59,193
My primo Johnny,
468
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:01,947
sorry that I slept with your wife.
469
00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:04,405
What up, Myra? [whistles]
470
00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:05,488
That wasn't right, primo.
471
00:22:05,951 --> 00:22:07,951
Even if it was only because
you weren't putting it down.
472
00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:11,003
- Luis, stay on track, buddy.
473
00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:12,708
- Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
Nah, this feels good.
474
00:22:13,292 --> 00:22:14,292
Right, minister, thank you.
475
00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:16,169
To my tío Eugenio,
476
00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:18,671
I'm sorry for robbing you
477
00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:20,629
and for making fun of you
478
00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:22,382
because you were so scared
that you pissed your pants.
479
00:22:22,968 --> 00:22:24,428
That shit was hilarious.
480
00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:26,310
But perdon, tío.
481
00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:28,524
And, Ana,
482
00:22:29,141 --> 00:22:31,061
I'm sorry I made your homegirl Loretta cry
483
00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,849
because she had a big forehead
and I called her Forhedda,
484
00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:35,023
and all the homeys was like, Damn,
my boy has to go," and I say, "Yeah."
485
00:22:35,022 --> 00:22:36,612
But looking back on it, that wasn't right.
486
00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:40,193
I'm sorry to my homie Spider.
487
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:42,607
Sorry that I borrowed money from you.
488
00:22:42,613 --> 00:22:45,073
And then paid you back
with money that I stole from you.
489
00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:46,663
That wasn't right, big dawg.
490
00:22:46,658 --> 00:22:49,578
But my advice is, you know,
keep your feria in a safe.
491
00:22:50,329 --> 00:22:52,289
To my cousin Miguel,
492
00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:55,579
I'm sorry that whenever we played,
I always socked you in your face.
493
00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:58,250
But you gotta practice
your self-defense, my boy.
494
00:22:59,171 --> 00:23:00,711
And my tía Sofia,
495
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:03,634
perdón por robarle
el catalítico a tu carro.
496
00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:06,506
And to my cousin Ricky,
497
00:23:06,512 --> 00:23:08,682
I'm sorry that one time
the police pulled us over
498
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:09,930
and I had that gun on me.
499
00:23:09,932 --> 00:23:11,812
And, you know, I just said it was yours.
500
00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:14,268
Because I remember you saying
you loved that movie Blood In, Blood Out.
501
00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:16,269
So I said, fuck it,
let that fool experience
502
00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:18,021
prison if he loves that movie so much.
503
00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:19,443
Lo siento, primo.
504
00:23:19,493 --> 00:23:24,043
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