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1
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North's Dad:
You want to know how build a rocket
2
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,336
and send a man into outer space,
don't come to me.
3
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:35,817
North's Mom: Don't even ask me about it.
You don't wanna know.
4
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,944
North's Dad: You're looking for someone
to perform a delicate brain operation,
5
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,404
- I'm not your man.
- I don't wanna talk about it.
6
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:41,614
North's Dad: If, on the other hand,
you have any questions, whatsoever,
7
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,754
regarding the quality of
a fine pair of pants,
8
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,535
- look no further.
- Just thinking about it, I'm getting...
9
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,346
Pants. That's what I know.
I know pants. All kinds of pants.
10
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,997
I had a day. Let me tell you something.
11
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,916
North's Dad: So then he says to me,
"oh, yeah, what about chinos?"
12
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,293
North's Mom: As tough as it was for those
Hebrew slaves in ancient Egypt...
13
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,837
- Dad.
- I said, "chinos? Yeah, I know chinos."
14
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,442
- Mom?
- Those slaves were in Disneyland
15
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,144
compared to working in a travel agency.
16
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,525
- Dad?
- About jeans. Please! I grew up on jeans.
17
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,677
- Mom?
- North's Mom: You know,
18
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,221
I'm sure being whipped while you're
building a pyramid's no bargain.
19
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,848
Then he brings up overalls.
Now he's insulting me.
20
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:09,409
North's Mom: But those slaves
didn't have to book the himmelmans
21
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,581
nonstop to Boca during easter.
22
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,604
North's Dad: Einstein knew arithmetic,
Pavarotti knows singing,
23
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:14,814
and I know pants.
24
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,999
Narrator: North was positive
he was having a coronary.
25
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,206
I said, "do you know who I am?"
26
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:22,509
Narrator: Now, as a rule, 11-year-olds
don't experience cardiac events.
27
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,429
"Well, in case you forgot,
let me remind you who I am."
28
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,052
Narrator: But for North,
this was a very stressful time.
29
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,259
"I'm number 6!"
30
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,707
Narrator: Yes. North was having
a difficult time with his folks.
31
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,125
- Dad!
- And it was putting a damper on
32
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:37,391
what was, in all other respects,
a very successful life.
33
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,309
How successful?
34
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,769
Well, look at the year he'd had.
35
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,320
Photosynthesis.
36
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,614
The process by which
carbohydrates are formed
37
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,033
in the chlorophyll
containing tissues of plants
38
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,360
exposed to sunlight.
39
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,669
♪ If I were a rich man ♪
40
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,466
♪ diguh, diguh, diguh, diguh
diguh, diguh, diguh, diguh, dum ♪
41
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:06,170
♪ all day long I'd biddy-biddy bum ♪
42
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:12,385
♪ if I were a wealthy man ♪
43
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:16,857
hey!
44
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,478
Man: Bravo!
45
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,025
Narrator: An outstanding year
by anyone's standards.
46
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:24,024
But did North's folks
appreciate how special he was?
47
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,321
- Hardly.
- Dad?
48
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,989
"You hear me? I'm number 6.
49
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,514
"And I was inspecting pants
before you even started wearing them,
50
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:32,325
"Mr. vice president only because
your father owns the company."
51
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,476
- Mom...
- North's Mom: God forbid the himmelmans
52
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,645
should stop over in Atlanta.
Like that would kill them.
53
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,730
I said, "I forgot more about belt loops
than you'll ever know."
54
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,961
You see this rash? You see it? Himmelman.
55
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,484
- There's no ointment for this. None.
- Dad!
56
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,236
North's Dad: I said, "let me remind you
who you're talking to.
57
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:48,129
"Only this year's recipient
of the coveted Mr. Inseam award."
58
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,679
Well, that shut him up.
59
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:55,678
Dad. You know what that
stupid Rachel did to me today?
60
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,869
I saw some blood in my stool this morning.
61
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,025
- North's Mom: North?
- North?
62
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,148
- Are you okay?
- What's the matter, son?
63
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,771
Here, loosen his pants.
64
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,027
No, no, I'm okay.
65
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,074
I'm all right. I'm all right.
66
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,035
I'm okay.
67
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,828
Narrator: But North wasn't okay.
68
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:17,078
This parent thing was starting to
affect every aspect of his life.
69
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,998
Girl: It's turning into the wind.
70
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,296
- What sense does that make?
- It's not, uh...
71
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,129
Maybe it's supposed to show us
where the wind was.
72
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,794
What are we supposed to do
with that information?
73
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,174
To be,
74
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,802
or not to...
75
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,054
Line?
76
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,635
Be.
77
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,970
Be.
78
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,975
- Ball 4.
- That's six in a row.
79
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,939
Time out.
80
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,652
How you doing?
81
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,234
I don't get it.
82
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,408
A child is born, he's given a life,
83
00:06:56,166 --> 00:07:00,751
but then, he's appreciated by everyone
except the folks who gave him that life.
84
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,411
It's just not right.
85
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,836
Uh, let me rephrase the question.
How's the arm?
86
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:11,336
Mr. Blankman, I've got some problems
that I have to work out.
87
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,505
Problems? You?
88
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,014
North?
89
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:22,018
Narrator: So, while everyone speculated
as to what could possibly be bothering
90
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,269
last season's most valuable player,
91
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:28,024
North left the field
and headed straight for his secret spot.
92
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,448
Yes, North had a secret spot.
93
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,782
You know the kind of
spot I'm talking about.
94
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:41,537
A place that's just ordinary to everyone else
but for some reason is special only to you.
95
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,123
Because no matter where it is,
96
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,670
this is the spot where you can go
97
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,669
and feel that you're away
from everyone and everything.
98
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,467
The spot where you can go
and do your best thinking.
99
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:55,092
The one place where you can go
to reflect upon what was,
100
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,132
mull over what is,
101
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,972
or just sit back, close your eyes,
102
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,896
and change the world
into whatever you wish it could be.
103
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,441
Now, it's my guess
that even North couldn't remember
104
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,395
when his spot first revealed
its special powers to him,
105
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,064
nor did it even matter at this point.
106
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,232
What was important was
107
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,534
whenever he sat in that huge armchair,
108
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,320
he looked like any other kid
109
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,248
just waiting for his parents
to finish their easter shopping.
110
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:25,243
And he was sitting on that very spot
the first time I saw him.
111
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,207
Why don't they like me?
112
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:29,919
What did I do wrong?
113
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,093
You okay, kid?
114
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:36,508
Yeah.
115
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:41,514
Good, 'cause I only got a 10-minute break,
and my back is killing me.
116
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,471
The last thing I need
is to listen to somebody else's problems.
117
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,274
You hungry?
118
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:50,227
No, thanks.
119
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,313
Good, 'cause I'm starving,
and this is my last carrot.
120
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,158
So, who are you?
121
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:02,743
I'm North.
122
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,824
Seen your name on maps.
123
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:05,954
Very impressive.
124
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,584
Who are you?
125
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,084
I'm the easter bunny. Third floor, toys.
126
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,383
Ah.
127
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,924
At least until Sunday, that is.
128
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,251
And then what do you do?
129
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,211
Whatever I want.
130
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,422
Independently wealthy.
131
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,098
4th of July, I might be uncle Sam.
132
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,472
Christmas, maybe Santa Claus.
133
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,262
My life's a holiday.
134
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,144
- How about yours?
- Not lately.
135
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,974
I had a real bad game today.
136
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:31,608
How bad?
137
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:36,652
I walked nine panthers
and hit my coach's wife with a wild pitch.
138
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,658
That's bad.
139
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,642
What? You got something on your mind?
140
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,492
Well?
141
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,244
What is it?
142
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,917
I thought you didn't wanna hear
anyone else's problems.
143
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,329
You always believe
everything a stranger tells you?
144
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,754
Come on, spill.
145
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:54,833
- Nah, you wouldn't understand.
- Try me.
146
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,672
It's my folks.
147
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,879
Yeah, what about them?
148
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,721
I don't know.
All they care about is themselves.
149
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:04,596
Selfish folks.
150
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,604
Selfish folks.
151
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,432
That is rough.
152
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,890
They don't know what a good thing
they got in you, right?
153
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,943
Exactly, and they're the only ones.
154
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:17,026
You should hear what all the other parents
say about me.
155
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,025
North's room is always clean.
156
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,991
North always looks both ways.
157
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,084
North never spoils his appetite.
158
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,040
North flosses.
159
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:39,420
Holy mackerel.
Your folks are sitting on a gold mine.
160
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:40,970
Tell me about it.
161
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,882
You realize, of course,
that you're not alone.
162
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:45,804
What do you mean?
163
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,557
Look, kid, just because I'm in a bunny suit
164
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,515
doesn't mean I haven't stumbled across
a basic truth now and then.
165
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,565
The feeling of being
insufficiently appreciated
166
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,063
is a common childhood lament.
167
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,070
- I'm not common.
- 'Course you're not,
168
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,491
but I'll bet you that even
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart,
169
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,578
who wrote a symphony
by the age of three, mind you,
170
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,154
had more than a few evenings then
with an angry parent yelling,
171
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:09,161
"stop banging on that damn piano
and go to bed, Mozart."
172
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:13,086
Yeah. Fine.
But Mr. Mozart's dead, and I'm alive.
173
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,461
So I'll bet you that right now
I'm in a lot more pain than he is.
174
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,507
Hard to argue with that one.
175
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:22,633
At this point,
I'd even settle for Mozart's parents.
176
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,051
Well,
177
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,016
unfortunately, you don't
get to make that choice, kid.
178
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,812
The one thing that we cannot control
in this life is who our parents are.
179
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,685
You're dealt a hand, you're stuck with it.
180
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,671
It's not like baseball, where if you don't
like the deal you have with one team,
181
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,655
you can become a free agent and try to
get a better deal with another team.
182
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:40,939
Another team.
183
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,782
This is real life, kid.
184
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,742
The rules are different.
185
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,945
Listen, I gotta get back upstairs.
186
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:51,123
If you want my advice,
and I know you didn't ask for it,
187
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:54,494
go home, make up, and goodbye.
188
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:56,872
Narrator: And that was it.
189
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,001
Nothing special.
190
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,292
I just left him there in
that secret spot of his.
191
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,428
Just him and his thoughts.
192
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,173
Free agency.
193
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:08,762
What a scoop!
194
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,389
A kid becoming a free agent,
195
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,971
then going around
offering his services as a devoted son
196
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,727
to the highest-bidding set of parents.
197
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,641
It's brilliant, North!
198
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,235
Simply brilliant!
199
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,608
- Look. This still isn't for sure yet.
- No?
200
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:22,939
This could be my Watergate.
201
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:26,777
Winchell, you put out a two-page leaflet
with a circulation of 90.
202
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,577
Might even land me a Pulitzer.
203
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,452
Hey, I told you this idea
because you're my friend,
204
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,703
not because you're editor
of the school newspaper.
205
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,706
- I'm a journalist, North.
- So?
206
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:39,084
So you never said
this conversation was off the record.
207
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,258
- Winchell, I need time to think.
- All right. All right.
208
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:43,425
I'll hold the story,
209
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,129
but, North, a few more displays
like that panther game,
210
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:50,467
and some of the more attractive parents
may start doing some thinking of their own.
211
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,389
That damn panther game.
212
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:55,309
And, North,
that geography test we took today?
213
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,681
What about it?
214
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,652
- You got a 34.
- Huh?
215
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,404
Chicago's in Africa?
216
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:10,279
Mexico is an island off
the coast of Montana?
217
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,955
- Where'd you get this?
- I'm a journalist, North.
218
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,452
I can't reveal my sources.
219
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:17,536
Besides, how I got this
test is not important.
220
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,916
But why you got this grade is.
221
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,172
Your instincts are correct, old buddy.
222
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,967
You need new parents,
and you need them now.
223
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,052
- Unless...
- Unless what?
224
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,260
Unless you haven't got the guts
to go through with it.
225
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,971
Winchell, I've got more guts
than anybody in this town.
226
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,723
- And you know it!
- Eh, talk is cheap.
227
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,895
I just feel that I owe it to my parents
to give them one last chance.
228
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,730
What can I say?
229
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:44,104
You came to me, you sought my counsel.
230
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,235
The rest is up to you.
231
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,909
No, no, that's okay.
232
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,615
Thanks, anyway.
233
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,230
Narrator: Yes. North wanted
to give his folks every chance
234
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,165
to keep the family together.
235
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,621
He tried to reach his mom,
236
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:04,253
but she was too busy
rerouting the himmelmans.
237
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,629
That left dad.
238
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,256
Pants. Can I help you?
239
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,214
Hello. My name is North.
Can I talk to my dad?
240
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,344
- What number?
- Number 6.
241
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,015
Man: Looks like that
5-iron's a little short...
242
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:20,849
Number 6.
243
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,186
Number 6! Yeah.
244
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,611
Phone call for you.
245
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,150
Oh, uh, prom season.
246
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,981
- Get a number, would you?
- It's your son.
247
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:31,443
Oh... all right. Just a minute.
248
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:34,745
- Is that piping holding up?
- Very well, Mr. vice president.
249
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,457
Now he's an expert on piping.
250
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:44,797
- Hello.
- Hello, dad, can I talk to you for a minute?
251
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,842
- Yes, North.
- We need these by 5:00.
252
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,589
I only got two legs here!
253
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:55,720
North, I'm swamped.
Could we discuss this over dinner, son?
254
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:56,812
But, dad...
255
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,932
All right. We'll discuss it over dinner.
256
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,647
Yeah, right. Dinner.
257
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,609
Well, that's that.
258
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,652
Okay, guys, let's roll.
259
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,738
- Zoe, you take the south side.
- See you.
260
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,289
Adam... Winchell!
261
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,411
Winchell!
262
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:20,912
- Winchell!
- Here you go.
263
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,210
- Here you go.
- I've made my decision.
264
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,833
Don't tell me. Let me guess.
265
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,669
North: How did you know?
266
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,296
News travels fast.
267
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,422
Apparently.
268
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,113
I'm proud of you, kid. You got a lawyer?
269
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,300
Why? Do I need one?
270
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,006
North, this is America.
271
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,432
Everyone needs a lawyer.
272
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,475
Lucky for you, I happen to know the best.
273
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,599
Name's Arthur belt.
He's done some work for me.
274
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,430
Pro bono. Let's move it.
275
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:45,733
- Where will I find this Arthur belt?
- Don't worry. He'll find you.
276
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,357
Come on. We got a paper to get out!
277
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,664
Hello, North. Arthur belt at your service.
278
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,049
The lawyer?
279
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,426
Your lawyer.
280
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,129
From now on, we are a team.
281
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,368
You do what I tell you to do,
282
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,120
you say what I tell you to say,
before you know it
283
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,705
you're gonna have
the best parents in the world.
284
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:20,764
What do you say, kid?
285
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,888
You sure you can squeeze me in?
286
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,018
What?
287
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,401
Oh, the ambulance chasing thing.
288
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:32,356
That's nothing.
I just use it to beat the traffic.
289
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:35,090
You should try it sometime on your bike.
Now, what do you say, kid?
290
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:38,028
- Are we a team?
- Yeah, I guess so.
291
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,621
Hey, hey, hey. You know so.
292
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,438
Narrator: Yes, North was actually
going to go through with it
293
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:47,454
and challenge the entire concept of family
as we know it.
294
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:51,503
And the effect was immediate,
as kids now faced their parents
295
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,381
with a confidence they once
could only dream about.
296
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,633
What a great idea. North is a genius.
297
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,430
Jeffrey, don't be ridiculous.
298
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,677
Now, where did I put that phone number
for Arthur belt?
299
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,057
Did I say "ridiculous"?
300
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:07,140
What I meant to say was,
you look very handsome today, Jeffrey.
301
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:10,018
You realize North will never pull this off?
302
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,194
He's North. He can do anything.
303
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,237
Come on, Andy, his folks
are gonna fight it.
304
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:17,112
Of course, they are.
They're not gonna take this lying down.
305
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,657
Narrator:
And then the media circus began.
306
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,245
How do you feel about this?
307
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,121
Is Winchell's story accurate?
308
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:29,996
Can we take that as a "yes"?
309
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,957
North, you think you can pull this off?
310
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,712
No comment.
311
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:38,922
North, if you are successful,
how will your actions affect mother's day?
312
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,306
No comment!
313
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,935
In 1793, the cotton gin was invented.
314
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:48,439
North, could you please tell us
the name of the inventor?
315
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:49,526
E-e...
316
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,064
Okay.
317
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:56,943
Under strict advice from counsel,
I must respectfully say no comment.
318
00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:02,078
Narrator: Finally, North's day in court
arrived and the world was watching.
319
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,164
All rise for the honorable judge buckle.
320
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,920
All sit for the honorable judge buckle.
321
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:29,855
Now, then, let me remind you,
this is a trial, this is not a hearing.
322
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:33,297
Even though both sides will be
saying things, and I'll be hearing them,
323
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:34,777
it is still not a hearing.
324
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:38,615
No doubt you'll all be hearing
the same things that I am hearing.
325
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,032
That's your privilege.
326
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:45,447
However, once both sides have been heard,
then it'll be my job to pass judgment.
327
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:48,704
Obviously, you can all pass judgment, too,
but it won't count.
328
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,285
That's because I'm the
one who is the judge.
329
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,291
Have I made myself clear to the plaintiff?
330
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,962
Yes, your honor,
it is quite clear to the plaintiff.
331
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,260
Very good.
Have I made myself clear to the defense?
332
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:02,259
Your honor, the defense rests.
333
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,591
Then there's nothing left to do
but make my judgment,
334
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:09,895
and in my judgment, any folks
who would sleep through a trial like this
335
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,691
are folks who don't deserve to have
a wonderful, upstanding son like North!
336
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,818
I rule in favor of the plaintiff.
337
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,020
Yes!
338
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,772
Yes! Yes!
339
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,108
The system works. North, you're a free man.
340
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,120
Hold on.
341
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,248
Hold on.
342
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:30,666
♪ Israel was in Egypt land
let my people go ♪♪
343
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,493
- judge: Hold it. Hold it down.
- Everybody!
344
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:33,623
♪ Go down, Moses ♪
345
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,920
judge: Hey! Hey!
346
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:38,674
♪ Go down, Moses ♪
347
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,876
Hey! This is a court of law.
348
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:41,971
Whoa!
349
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,952
Judge: Even though I have made
a judgment, the trial is not over.
350
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,261
I still have to make a ruling.
351
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,895
Now, then, today is...
352
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,931
Clerk: July 1st.
353
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,017
Today is July 1st,
354
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:59,525
and it is my ruling that North
choose his new parents by labor day,
355
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,606
so he can begin school with his new family.
356
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,319
If he does not choose new parents,
357
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,244
he has the option
of returning to his original parents.
358
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,536
However,
359
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,204
if he is not physically in the arms
360
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:09,697
if he is not physically in the arms
361
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,579
of either his new parents
or his original parents
362
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,160
by noon on labor day,
363
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,416
he will be remanded to an orphanage.
364
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:21,092
And if any of you has ever
seen the little rascals...
365
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,884
You know that's no day at the beach.
366
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,679
- Orphanage?
- Not to worry.
367
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:28,595
I'm telling you, kid,
from now own, the world is your oyster.
368
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,852
Narrator: Even though North
didn't really care for oysters,
369
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:35,056
he couldn't help but take Arthur bell's
enthusiasm as a positive sign.
370
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,545
Woman: North free agent draft.
Good morning.
371
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,480
North free agent draft. Good morning.
372
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,144
Yes, his eyes are blue.
373
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,399
Soprano.
374
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:43,189
Super Mario 3.
375
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,364
The backstroke.
376
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,317
Yes. He believes in god and evolution.
377
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,778
Don't even get him started
on the Warren commission.
378
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,124
Oh, everyone wants you, kid. Everyone.
379
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,618
Look at this.
380
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:59,334
You got a first class ticket
to every city in the world.
381
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:02,337
I have to advise you,
don't spread yourself too thin.
382
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:05,782
It's important you learn as much as you can
about each set of parents that you audition.
383
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:08,593
Because once you sign with someone,
that's it.
384
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,495
They are your new folks forever.
You understand?
385
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,679
You bet.
386
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,183
That's the spirit. Let's get cracking.
387
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,614
Narrator: So, North was on his way.
388
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,441
It was the 4th of July, and this year,
389
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,448
independence day
had a special meaning for North.
390
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:31,745
He was a free man,
391
00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:35,370
and on his way to search out the life
he felt he so richly deserved.
392
00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,978
- There he is.
- Oh, look at that boy!
393
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,069
There he is, pa.
394
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,687
Well, hey, howdy, North.
395
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,364
- I'm pa Tex, this here's ma Tex.
- Howdy.
396
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,863
And welcome to the great state of Texas.
397
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,194
Uh, howdy.
398
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,999
I know what you're thinking.
399
00:22:21,382 --> 00:22:22,713
Big car, right?
400
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:25,458
Well, it did cross my mind.
401
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,174
Everything I own is the
biggest and the best.
402
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:33,224
- That's why we'd like you to become our son.
- 'Cause you're the best.
403
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,601
To the best.
404
00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:49,573
Ma Tex: Home, sweet home.
405
00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,619
Pa Tex: This can all be yours, son.
406
00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:59,375
The main house, guest house,
livestock, oil Wells.
407
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:03,045
- Rumor has it you like baseball.
- It's my favorite.
408
00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:05,088
You know, I used to own the Houston Astros.
409
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,711
Really? What happened?
410
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:09,794
Just this morning, I
signed them over to you.
411
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,095
Gee, don't get me wrong.
412
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:15,299
They're a fine organization,
but aren't we rushing things just a little?
413
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:23,356
Pretty fair shooting there, Gabby.
414
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:24,979
Thanks, boss.
415
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:27,778
Hey.
416
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:29,655
What are you doing here?
417
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:33,489
I finished up all my chores.
I figured I'd get a little shooting in.
418
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:35,327
No, I mean...
419
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,617
Have you ever been an easter bunny?
420
00:23:38,709 --> 00:23:40,825
- Easter bunny?
- Pa Tex: Careful, son.
421
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,377
- Gabby's killed men for less than that.
- Oh.
422
00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:45,420
Sorry.
423
00:23:46,717 --> 00:23:48,082
No harm done.
424
00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:59,935
So, what you two cowpokes
got planned for tomorrow?
425
00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:04,766
Well, I reckon, we'll wake up early and
eat, then we'll dig for oil and eat,
426
00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:07,397
then we'll rope some doggies
and bust a few broncs,
427
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,353
and then maybe we'll grab a bite to eat.
428
00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:11,363
You like Tex-mex?
429
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:14,612
Sure. I'm a huge fan
of any food that straddles two borders.
430
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,694
That's my boy.
431
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:19,952
But, uh, can I ask you what the deal is
with all this eating?
432
00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,157
Oh, simple.
433
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:25,335
Remember before when I told you everything
I own is the biggest and the best?
434
00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:26,832
Well, you're already the best.
435
00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:29,256
Now, there's nothing left
but to make you the biggest.
436
00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:32,258
And don't fret about
not being able to clean up your plate.
437
00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:35,804
Why, pretty soon that stomach of yours
will stretch and stretch,
438
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:38,598
and your capacity for food
will just grow and grow.
439
00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,184
Excuse me.
440
00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:44,229
You say that like that's a good thing
to have happen to your stomach.
441
00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:45,522
It is.
442
00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:46,853
Why?
443
00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:49,060
Well, then you'll be like buck.
444
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,646
- Who?
- Our first son.
445
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:54,072
Biggest boy this big state's ever seen.
446
00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:58,448
Why, he could eat more in one day than
anyone else could eat in a whole month.
447
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,867
That's why buck hated February.
448
00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:05,746
Where is buck?
449
00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,870
He died in a stampede.
450
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:09,841
Oh.
451
00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:11,499
I'm so sorry.
452
00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:13,925
Needless to say, it was a mighty big loss.
453
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,450
Yeah, but now, we'd like to show you
how much we're looking forward
454
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:19,840
to having you as our new son.
455
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:21,015
Ready, pa?
456
00:25:21,103 --> 00:25:22,263
Ready, ma.
457
00:25:22,563 --> 00:25:26,021
♪ We had a son who was trampled
by a ton of longhorns ♪
458
00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:29,475
♪ but you're here, cutes, to fill his boots
as flat as they may be ♪
459
00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:33,279
♪ you'll yell yippee-ai-o
at the rodeo till the day's done ♪
460
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,245
♪ then you'll make a lot of pals
with buffalo gals ♪
461
00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:37,070
- ♪ just leave some for me ♪
- ♪ Hey, there! ♪
462
00:25:37,161 --> 00:25:38,992
♪ We'll barbecue steaks and stew ♪
463
00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:40,910
♪ feed you pumpkin pie ♪
464
00:25:40,998 --> 00:25:44,365
♪ till your can's bigger than
the big ol' Texas sky ♪
465
00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:45,791
Yee-hah!
466
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:48,459
Yee-hah!
467
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:52,756
Yee-hah!
468
00:25:54,762 --> 00:25:55,968
Yee-hah!
469
00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:02,977
Whoo!
470
00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:10,148
♪ You'll grow tall and
play football, be famous ♪
471
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:13,602
♪ You'll grow more, own a chain of stores
marry Betty Lou ♪
472
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:16,655
♪ Oh, North, North ♪
473
00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:20,655
♪ Grow, North ♪
474
00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:22,861
Another rib, son?
475
00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:39,712
You okay, cowboy?
476
00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:42,677
Yeah. Just thinking.
477
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:47,636
Texas nights are sure good for thinking.
478
00:26:49,358 --> 00:26:50,814
Yeah.
479
00:26:56,990 --> 00:27:00,983
You doing any particular type of thinking
or just wondering thinking?
480
00:27:01,870 --> 00:27:03,861
I was thinking if I stay here,
481
00:27:04,498 --> 00:27:07,205
I'll always be living
in the shadow of someone else.
482
00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:09,325
What kind of life would that be?
483
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:13,253
From what I hear about buck,
what kind of shadow would that be?
484
00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:15,880
Yeah, he was a big one.
485
00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,302
Mighty hard being your own man
486
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:23,426
when they're always comparing you
to somebody else.
487
00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:26,099
Yeah, right.
488
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:31,059
I mean, I left home because I had parents
who didn't appreciate who I was.
489
00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:33,306
So why would I want to be with new parents
490
00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:35,893
who could only appreciate me
if I was someone else?
491
00:27:37,531 --> 00:27:39,738
You might be onto something there, son.
492
00:27:40,951 --> 00:27:43,784
You know, down here in these parts
we got a saying.
493
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:50,954
Sometimes when you're panning for gold,
you got to try more than one stream.
494
00:27:57,259 --> 00:27:58,840
We really wish you'd reconsider.
495
00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:01,760
I'm sorry, but it wouldn't
be fair to any of us.
496
00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:04,342
Thanks for the opportunity, North.
497
00:28:04,433 --> 00:28:05,639
Oh, sir?
498
00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:07,224
Yes, North?
499
00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:10,974
I think it's only right
that I give you back the Astros.
500
00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:15,149
Well, thanks, son. That's a class gesture.
501
00:28:15,944 --> 00:28:17,900
Well, goodbye.
502
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:21,317
- So long, Pard.
- We'll miss you.
503
00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:22,693
Hold on there, son.
504
00:28:34,296 --> 00:28:36,958
Just a little something
to remember your old buddy Gabby by.
505
00:28:37,925 --> 00:28:39,290
Hope it brings you good luck.
506
00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:41,417
Thanks.
507
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:47,886
Narrator: So, North resumed his search,
508
00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:52,390
and though he got to the airport by noon,
out of respect for ma and pa Tex,
509
00:28:52,481 --> 00:28:54,221
in true cowboy tradition,
510
00:28:54,316 --> 00:28:57,729
he chose to wait eight hours
so he could fly off into the sunset,
511
00:28:57,819 --> 00:29:00,982
with no knowledge at all
of what was going on back home.
512
00:29:01,323 --> 00:29:04,065
Winchell: How much longer
do we have to put up with this indignity?
513
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:05,159
Boy: Yeah!
514
00:29:05,202 --> 00:29:07,944
Winchell: How much longer
must we tolerate these injustices?
515
00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:10,120
- The subservience?
- Boy 2: Yeah!
516
00:29:10,207 --> 00:29:13,074
Winchell: It's humiliating, my friends.
It's demeaning.
517
00:29:13,168 --> 00:29:16,080
- Boy 3: Right on!
- Now is the time to say no!
518
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:18,328
Now is the time to say,
519
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:22,257
"just because you were born
25 or 30 years before me
520
00:29:22,344 --> 00:29:23,800
"doesn't make you smart.
521
00:29:23,887 --> 00:29:27,379
"It doesn't make you right.
It just makes you old!
522
00:29:31,311 --> 00:29:34,348
"It just makes you
smell worse in the morning!"
523
00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:39,353
Now is the time to band together
524
00:29:39,486 --> 00:29:42,569
and let our parents know
that we're at the dawn of a new era.
525
00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:44,942
- Boy: Yeah!
- The era of our liberation!
526
00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:49,489
An era made possible
527
00:29:49,579 --> 00:29:54,039
by a kid who had the guts
to fight for the power we now possess!
528
00:29:57,713 --> 00:30:00,876
And now, the man whose brilliant legal mind
529
00:30:01,216 --> 00:30:03,332
shone the light on the pathway to freedom,
530
00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:03,791
Mr. Arthur Ulysses belt, esquire!
531
00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:07,545
Mr. Arthur Ulysses belt, esquire!
532
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:13,842
Thank you!
533
00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:16,428
I am but a humble servant,
534
00:30:16,982 --> 00:30:21,476
standing at your ready
to assist in this noble cause!
535
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:23,060
Viva El norte!
536
00:30:23,363 --> 00:30:24,694
Viva El norte!
537
00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:26,237
Viva El norte!
538
00:30:26,533 --> 00:30:29,400
Viva El norte! Viva El norte!
539
00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:34,287
Narrator: But like I said,
North didn't know about any of this.
540
00:30:34,374 --> 00:30:35,910
He was on his way to Hawaii,
541
00:30:36,126 --> 00:30:38,788
to meet what he hoped
would be his brand-new parents.
542
00:30:56,396 --> 00:30:58,011
Governor and Mrs. Ho?
543
00:30:58,523 --> 00:30:59,933
Aloha, North.
544
00:31:00,609 --> 00:31:02,600
Governor:
Welcome to our island paradise, North.
545
00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:03,729
Aloha.
546
00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:06,027
We've got a big day planned for you.
547
00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:08,480
Waki-waki will take you up to the house
so you can change.
548
00:31:08,575 --> 00:31:09,610
North: Okay.
549
00:31:10,077 --> 00:31:11,077
Aloha.
550
00:31:11,161 --> 00:31:13,777
"Aloha"? I thought that meant hello.
551
00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:17,118
In Hawaii, “aloha” means
"hello" and "goodbye."
552
00:31:17,584 --> 00:31:18,949
Doesn't that get confusing?
553
00:31:19,294 --> 00:31:21,034
Only when you're firing someone.
554
00:31:21,171 --> 00:31:22,206
Oh.
555
00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:23,628
Well, aloha.
556
00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:27,132
Isn't he great?
557
00:31:37,437 --> 00:31:39,018
You know, North, if you settle here,
558
00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:42,098
you'll be many years younger
because of the difference in time zones.
559
00:31:42,192 --> 00:31:44,558
Which means that you won't die
as early as you would
560
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:46,735
if you lived on the mainland.
561
00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:48,153
That's a plus.
562
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:56,682
Governor: Another thing, North.
563
00:31:56,706 --> 00:32:00,164
If you live in Hawaii, it's much
easier to get into a good college.
564
00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:01,332
How's that?
565
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,253
Well, here in the islands,
we have only 12 letters in our alphabet.
566
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:05,339
Really?
567
00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:08,632
That's right. Five vowels.
A-e-I-o-u.
568
00:32:08,718 --> 00:32:12,176
- Seven consonants.
- H-k-l-m-n-p-w.
569
00:32:12,889 --> 00:32:15,847
- I didn't know that.
- Well, sure. Just think about it.
570
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:19,802
- Waikiki, Honolulu.
- Kaanapali, mauna Lani.
571
00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:23,559
That's very interesting,
but how does that help me get into college?
572
00:32:23,650 --> 00:32:26,437
Well, since we don't use the letters
letters b-c-d and "f",
573
00:32:26,528 --> 00:32:29,110
you're pretty much guaranteed
to get straight a's.
574
00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:38,536
Governor: What do you think?
575
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:41,786
North: Well, I like what I see,
576
00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:46,378
but I do have one question,
just for my own peace of mind.
577
00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:48,455
What is it?
578
00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:50,381
Well, I hope I'm not being insensitive,
579
00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:54,758
but you wouldn't happen to have a dead kid
whose shoes you want me to fill, would you?
580
00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:56,679
Dead kid?
581
00:32:57,225 --> 00:33:00,888
North, Hawaii is a lush and fertile land.
582
00:33:01,730 --> 00:33:05,268
In fact, there's only one barren area
on all of our islands.
583
00:33:05,942 --> 00:33:08,524
Unfortunately, it's Mrs. Ho.
584
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,524
But if all goes right,
585
00:33:11,907 --> 00:33:14,569
you will be our first child.
586
00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:17,953
North: Wow!
587
00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:19,987
What a great day.
588
00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:23,452
You know, this might really work out.
589
00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:27,832
As far I'm concerned, there's just
a few minor details to discuss.
590
00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:32,166
You know, bedtime, sleepovers,
your views on snacks, that sort of thing.
591
00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:34,717
Well, what are we standing here for?
592
00:33:34,804 --> 00:33:37,386
Let's go inside
and push a few numbers around,
593
00:33:37,474 --> 00:33:39,055
see what we come up with.
594
00:33:50,779 --> 00:33:53,646
Man on Pa: Ladies and gentlemen,
Governor and Mrs. Ho.
595
00:33:58,835 --> 00:34:00,600
Heahea 'oe!
596
00:34:00,602 --> 00:34:03,702
Komo mai e kai e ku aloha!
597
00:34:03,792 --> 00:34:05,498
Ladies and gentlemen,
598
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:07,576
fellow 50th staters,
599
00:34:07,671 --> 00:34:09,377
I am thrilled to announce
600
00:34:09,464 --> 00:34:11,876
that we have reached
an agreement in principle
601
00:34:11,967 --> 00:34:14,458
which allows me to introduce to you today
602
00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:16,339
a young man, who in the coming years
603
00:34:16,429 --> 00:34:19,717
will be to Hawaii
what the peach is to Georgia,
604
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:24,222
what the apple is to New York,
and what the wind is to Chicago!
605
00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:26,807
Now, without further ado,
606
00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:29,935
please give a big, warm Hawaiian welcome
607
00:34:30,277 --> 00:34:34,816
to our new pride and joy, our son North!
608
00:35:09,149 --> 00:35:10,480
What is that?
609
00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:12,725
Governor: Son, that'll be in every airport,
610
00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:14,730
- along every highway...
- My crack?
611
00:35:14,821 --> 00:35:16,903
My crack is gonna be
shown in every airport?
612
00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:18,070
Now, son...
613
00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:21,070
What gives you the right
to show my crack on every highway?
614
00:35:21,161 --> 00:35:22,947
See, the truth is, North,
615
00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:27,447
I'm the Governor of a state
that's running a little low on self-esteem.
616
00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:29,123
After 35 years of statehood,
617
00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:31,872
people still don't treat Hawaii
like we're part of the country.
618
00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:33,833
Sure, there's a star for us on the flag,
619
00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:36,585
but why didn't anyone show up
during hands across America?
620
00:35:36,676 --> 00:35:38,962
I mean, we waited for days
and not even a phone call
621
00:35:39,054 --> 00:35:40,197
to tell us nobody was coming.
622
00:35:40,221 --> 00:35:43,179
- It's just plain inconsiderate.
- Mrs. Ho: He's right.
623
00:35:43,308 --> 00:35:45,890
People from the mainland
just don't care about Hawaii.
624
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:48,969
They come here with their knobby knees
and their pale kids,
625
00:35:49,064 --> 00:35:53,433
and they eat our food and watch our whales
and say “aloha” like they really mean it.
626
00:35:53,526 --> 00:35:54,857
But then, seven to 10 days later,
627
00:35:54,944 --> 00:35:57,606
they drop us like a sack of rancid poi
and go home.
628
00:35:57,697 --> 00:35:59,813
And we're supposed
to feel good about ourselves?
629
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,784
Excuse me. But what does this
have to do with my crack?
630
00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:05,743
Oh. Don't you see, North?
631
00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:10,324
If you lived here in Hawaii, people
would be more inclined to settle here.
632
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:13,206
So they can be close to my crack?
633
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,589
North, North. You're very important to us.
634
00:36:18,968 --> 00:36:20,333
I don't know.
635
00:36:20,887 --> 00:36:23,173
I need some time to think, okay?
636
00:36:26,309 --> 00:36:29,221
Man: One, two, three, four Jacks!
637
00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:32,475
Come on, guys! Don't just stand there.
Get your butt in motion!
638
00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:33,930
You might just like it!
639
00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:35,936
And squat down, up and...
640
00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:37,775
What is the point?
641
00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:40,691
Gabby, what are you doing here?
642
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:44,366
They say for every hour you exercise,
you add an hour to your life.
643
00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:48,195
Who needs all that extra time if you're
just going to spend it exercising?
644
00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:50,325
You see where I'm going with this, junior?
645
00:36:50,417 --> 00:36:53,534
- Who's Gabby?
- He's a ranch hand from Texas.
646
00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:55,539
Not familiar with the gentlemen.
647
00:36:56,423 --> 00:36:57,663
So...
648
00:36:57,757 --> 00:37:03,002
- How's it feel to be Hawaii's new first son?
- Well, I'm not so sure that's what I want to be.
649
00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:04,336
Why not?
650
00:37:04,431 --> 00:37:05,921
Beautiful climate.
651
00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:09,432
- Can't beat the fashion.
- Yeah, I know.
652
00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:11,622
But I don't think I
should settle for parents
653
00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:14,729
who have to show my most private crevice
on a billboard
654
00:37:14,816 --> 00:37:17,432
to make them feel better about themselves.
655
00:37:17,527 --> 00:37:18,937
It's refreshing to meet a kid
656
00:37:19,028 --> 00:37:21,064
who has such strong convictions
about his crack.
657
00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:22,771
Whoa! Whoa.
658
00:37:26,536 --> 00:37:27,536
Ah!
659
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:29,744
Dig, man.
660
00:37:30,123 --> 00:37:32,284
The way I always figured this deal is
661
00:37:32,375 --> 00:37:34,729
it's that parents are supposed
to make the kids feel better.
662
00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:35,993
Not the other way around.
663
00:37:36,713 --> 00:37:37,873
Yeah.
664
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:41,831
Hang in there, kid!
You'll find what you're looking for.
665
00:37:42,844 --> 00:37:44,505
I hope so.
666
00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:49,218
Narrator: Although he came up short
in both Texas and Hawaii,
667
00:37:49,309 --> 00:37:50,924
North felt no anxiety
668
00:37:51,019 --> 00:37:53,476
as he still had eight weeks
till his labor day deadline.
669
00:37:56,191 --> 00:37:57,772
Woman: Welcome to Juneau, Alaska.
670
00:37:57,859 --> 00:38:00,475
Please remain seated
until the plane comes to a complete stop
671
00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:02,231
in Anchorage, Alaska.
672
00:38:02,322 --> 00:38:03,653
To accompany our skid,
673
00:38:03,740 --> 00:38:06,698
we will be showing you
another full-length feature film.
674
00:38:07,035 --> 00:38:12,530
Our friend had a dream,
and that dream is becoming a reality.
675
00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:15,491
Narrator: Meanwhile,
as North was skidding his way to Anchorage,
676
00:38:15,585 --> 00:38:17,246
things were heating up at home.
677
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:20,204
Winchell's inspirational speeches
had created a groundswell,
678
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,330
and all across the land,
679
00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:25,508
kids were continuing to hold their parents
at emotional gunpoint.
680
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,093
- Anything else, son?
- Yes.
681
00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:30,012
How's my room coming along?
682
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:32,257
I'll have it spotless by dinner.
683
00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:34,551
Viva El norte.
684
00:38:36,064 --> 00:38:37,554
Winchell: And as of next Monday,
685
00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:40,482
no parent will be permitted
to see an r-rated movie
686
00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:42,604
unless accompanied by a kid.
687
00:38:43,279 --> 00:38:44,815
Yeah, right.
688
00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:47,773
Arthur, do I detect a note of melancholy?
689
00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:50,574
It's just that North
still hasn't found new parents.
690
00:38:51,538 --> 00:38:52,994
Maybe he never will.
691
00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:55,743
Maybe this free agency thing
will just blow up in our face.
692
00:38:55,834 --> 00:38:57,540
I'm surprised at you, Arthur.
693
00:38:57,669 --> 00:39:00,911
Do you think I would actually embark
on an endeavor of this magnitude
694
00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:02,745
without a contingency plan?
695
00:39:03,132 --> 00:39:04,497
Contingency plan?
696
00:39:04,926 --> 00:39:06,211
Oh, good. I love those.
697
00:39:06,886 --> 00:39:08,672
- One Coca-Cola.
- Right here.
698
00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:10,636
And one sex on the beach.
699
00:39:11,432 --> 00:39:13,263
Aren't I naughty?
700
00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:17,184
- To our future.
- Arthur: And what a future it is.
701
00:39:17,647 --> 00:39:19,103
According to the latest polls,
702
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,101
parents are so nervous
703
00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:25,401
that 78% of them say they will vote
however their kids tell them to.
704
00:39:26,406 --> 00:39:30,115
And since those kids will do
whatever you tell them to...
705
00:39:31,286 --> 00:39:32,617
Well, I...
706
00:39:35,290 --> 00:39:36,746
What I mean is...
707
00:39:36,833 --> 00:39:37,948
Winchell: That's right.
708
00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:41,042
I'm lying here with the next
President of the United States.
709
00:39:44,966 --> 00:39:46,297
I'm happy for you, Arthur.
710
00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,796
I'm sure you'll make
a fine commander-in-chief.
711
00:39:49,804 --> 00:39:52,671
Hey, doll face,
could you concentrate on my lower back?
712
00:39:52,765 --> 00:39:54,630
That's where all my tension builds up.
713
00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:04,353
Man on Pa: Flight 24 from Hawaii by way
of Juneau is now arriving at gate seven.
714
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:07,352
Man on radio: Approach 119-90.
715
00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:13,403
Woman: Bye-bye.
716
00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:13,900
Woman: Bye-bye.
717
00:40:13,995 --> 00:40:15,485
Hey, great landing, guys.
718
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:17,620
You've really got that skid thing
down to a science.
719
00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:19,496
Thanks for the kind words, North.
720
00:40:19,584 --> 00:40:21,645
I'm not saying that we haven't
dented a terminal now and then,
721
00:40:21,669 --> 00:40:24,081
but after a while
you pretty much get the hang of it.
722
00:40:24,172 --> 00:40:25,503
Thanks.
723
00:40:27,342 --> 00:40:30,300
Narrator: North's first impression
of Alaska was a positive one.
724
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:33,298
The air was clean,
it was breathtakingly beautiful,
725
00:40:33,389 --> 00:40:36,881
and best of all, it was far away
from everyone and everything.
726
00:40:36,976 --> 00:40:38,621
There was nothing to distract these people
727
00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:41,432
from concentrating on life's
most precious commodity,
728
00:40:41,522 --> 00:40:43,228
the love of a good family.
729
00:40:51,491 --> 00:40:52,697
Man: Morning!
730
00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:55,202
Whoa-ho!
731
00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:14,381
Here you go, North.
732
00:41:14,722 --> 00:41:17,259
A nice cup of hot cocoa.
733
00:41:17,350 --> 00:41:20,888
And to go with that,
our state dish, Eskimo pie.
734
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:22,185
Thank you.
735
00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:29,563
Dad: Well, hey, what do you know?
The salmon are running.
736
00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:32,612
I'm going to get a couple of poles
and go fishing with my boy.
737
00:41:32,699 --> 00:41:34,405
Great! I love fishing.
738
00:41:35,785 --> 00:41:36,900
Okay.
739
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,012
- Ah! This is the life, right, son?
- Sure is.
740
00:42:02,103 --> 00:42:04,059
You like Christmas, North?
“Who doesn't?
741
00:42:04,147 --> 00:42:06,917
Well, you've never had a Christmas
till you've had an Alaskan Christmas.
742
00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:09,557
That's right. And since our
days last for months at a time,
743
00:42:09,652 --> 00:42:11,859
you can just imagine the festivities.
744
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,938
Why, opening the presents
takes three weeks alone.
745
00:42:15,033 --> 00:42:16,148
Right, ma?
746
00:42:16,743 --> 00:42:19,610
This all sounds great,
but what's the catch?
747
00:42:20,621 --> 00:42:23,738
- What do you mean?
- I mean, what's in it for you?
748
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:28,076
- Nothing.
- Really?
749
00:42:28,254 --> 00:42:31,496
No dead kids? No low self-esteem?
750
00:42:31,966 --> 00:42:34,457
No frozen skeletons in your closet?
751
00:42:37,764 --> 00:42:40,972
We have pride, North,
and we're proud of our pride.
752
00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,799
We wouldn't ask anything of a child.
753
00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:46,853
All we want is for you to follow your
dreams and be the best North you can be.
754
00:42:47,482 --> 00:42:51,020
We know you'll be a source of great pride
to the entire Eskimo community
755
00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:53,271
for many, many years to come.
756
00:42:56,491 --> 00:42:58,652
Jeepers creepers, that reminds me.
757
00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:03,198
Dad, let's go! Time to flow!
758
00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:05,200
- Grandpa: Coming!
- Time to what?
759
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:07,824
Mom: Okay. Bundle up. It's a long walk.
760
00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,127
Who's that?
761
00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:15,048
North, this is your new grandfather.
762
00:43:15,676 --> 00:43:16,882
Hello, North.
763
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:20,715
Hello. What do you mean,
"it's time to flow"?
764
00:43:20,807 --> 00:43:24,891
When an Eskimo gets too old or weak
to contribute to society,
765
00:43:24,977 --> 00:43:28,094
the whole family gets together
and everybody walks to the ocean.
766
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:32,273
That's right. And then the revered old
Eskimo is proudly placed on an ice floe
767
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,067
and set out to sea so he
can die with dignity.
768
00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:36,356
And pride.
769
00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:38,358
All right, everybody, let's go.
770
00:43:38,533 --> 00:43:39,818
North: But wait a minute.
771
00:43:40,368 --> 00:43:43,030
Just because he's old doesn't mean
he can't be part of the family.
772
00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:44,611
Well, it's a tradition.
773
00:43:44,705 --> 00:43:48,072
I promise you, North,
grandpa wants this just as much as anyone.
774
00:43:48,167 --> 00:43:49,373
Right, grandpa?
775
00:43:49,794 --> 00:43:52,877
Yeah, right. I've been
looking forward to this.
776
00:43:56,717 --> 00:43:59,129
Narrator: As the family
made their long trek to the sea,
777
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:02,337
North took the opportunity
to get close to his new grandpa,
778
00:44:02,431 --> 00:44:05,764
which was easy, since he had
a tremendous affection for old folks.
779
00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:11,142
He found them to be warm, understanding, and,
most importantly, way too tired to yell.
780
00:44:12,733 --> 00:44:14,769
Knowing that his time with grandpa
was limited,
781
00:44:14,861 --> 00:44:17,648
North tried to take in
all that this wise old man had to offer
782
00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:19,444
about life in the tundra.
783
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:22,110
Grandpa: And another thing. Up here,
784
00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:27,071
if your mother says, "don't make a face
because it could freeze in that position,"
785
00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:29,580
you better take her seriously.
786
00:44:29,876 --> 00:44:30,991
North: Jeez.
787
00:44:31,085 --> 00:44:34,623
Can't you hang around a little longer?
There's so much you can teach me.
788
00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:37,125
Next!
789
00:44:37,842 --> 00:44:38,842
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
790
00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:40,070
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay.
791
00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:41,697
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Come on. Let's go.
792
00:44:41,721 --> 00:44:43,365
Let's go.
I only got four months of sunlight here.
793
00:44:43,389 --> 00:44:45,596
Move it. Next. Come on. Let's go!
794
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:49,884
Come on. Come on.
Should've done this before.
795
00:44:49,979 --> 00:44:53,062
I've got a civilization to run here.
Can you move it along, please? Thank you.
796
00:44:53,983 --> 00:44:55,223
Next! Let's go.
797
00:44:55,318 --> 00:44:56,753
Don't act like you don't know
what's going on here.
798
00:44:56,777 --> 00:44:58,358
Come on. Let's go. Come on. Please.
799
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:00,231
Well...
800
00:45:00,865 --> 00:45:02,150
Goodbye, North.
801
00:45:02,783 --> 00:45:04,523
Are you sure you have to go?
802
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:06,405
Mom: Oh, don't worry about him, North.
803
00:45:06,495 --> 00:45:07,860
He's had a great life.
804
00:45:07,955 --> 00:45:11,197
And he's happy to set sail
before he starts embarrassing himself.
805
00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:14,955
Yeah, take it from us, North. When drool
hardens, it's not a pretty sight.
806
00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:16,106
- But...
- Man: But, but, but.
807
00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:18,233
Come on. Let's go, pal.
This is no surprise to you, is it?
808
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:21,612
You know where you're going. Take a walk.
Come on. Let's go. Move it along. Let's go.
809
00:45:21,636 --> 00:45:23,342
Yeah, yeah, bye, bye. Fine. Thank you.
810
00:45:23,429 --> 00:45:24,714
Mom: Bye, dad!
811
00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:25,972
Bye, dad!
812
00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:27,630
Bye.
813
00:45:28,684 --> 00:45:32,927
Listen, if there's a change in policy
in the next couple of weeks,
814
00:45:33,731 --> 00:45:35,847
feel free to track me down.
815
00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:37,560
What did he say?
816
00:45:37,652 --> 00:45:39,563
Hey! What do you say we grab a ride home?
817
00:45:39,654 --> 00:45:41,144
Hey, that's a great idea!
818
00:45:50,623 --> 00:45:53,786
North, don't worry about grandpa.
He'll be okay.
819
00:45:54,335 --> 00:45:55,495
Yeah.
820
00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:59,670
- Can I ride on top?
- Why, sure. It's the best view.
821
00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:08,137
Landscape sure is beautiful up here.
822
00:46:10,309 --> 00:46:12,345
Hey. It's you.
823
00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:14,427
No, it's not.
824
00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:16,606
Oh.
825
00:46:20,736 --> 00:46:22,522
Smell that fresh air.
826
00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:24,524
No smog up here.
827
00:46:24,991 --> 00:46:26,606
How could they do that?
828
00:46:27,076 --> 00:46:30,785
Not even my original parents
would send my grandpa away like that.
829
00:46:31,038 --> 00:46:33,404
Hey, son! How's the view up there?
830
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:36,248
Great! Thanks.
831
00:46:37,712 --> 00:46:38,872
"Son."
832
00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:41,275
You know, I don't wanna
overstep my bounds,
833
00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:43,881
but unless I'm mistaken,
you're that fellow North.
834
00:46:43,968 --> 00:46:46,710
And unless I'm further mistaken,
you have a deadline of labor day,
835
00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:49,420
which is a week from tomorrow,
to choose new parents.
836
00:46:49,515 --> 00:46:51,631
And unless I'm mistaken even further,
837
00:46:51,726 --> 00:46:53,370
you still haven't found
what you're looking for.
838
00:46:53,394 --> 00:46:56,227
How could labor day be next week?
I just got here.
839
00:46:56,314 --> 00:46:58,680
You walked from your house
to the ice floes, right?
840
00:46:58,774 --> 00:46:59,809
Yeah.
841
00:47:00,067 --> 00:47:02,353
It's a seven-week walk,
even with the wind at your back.
842
00:47:02,445 --> 00:47:06,358
No wonder we stopped for lunch 49 times.
843
00:47:06,449 --> 00:47:07,655
Don't feel bad.
844
00:47:07,742 --> 00:47:10,779
It's that six months of daylight thing,
it throws everybody off.
845
00:47:10,870 --> 00:47:13,577
I, myself, only showered 12 times
during the '70s.
846
00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:17,448
Oh, man! I'll never find new parents.
847
00:47:18,002 --> 00:47:19,412
Unless I misinterpreted the ruling,
848
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:21,494
you can always go back
to your original parents.
849
00:47:21,589 --> 00:47:22,669
Oh, yeah!
850
00:47:22,757 --> 00:47:24,293
That's just what I wanna do,
851
00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:27,216
go back to the people
who haven't even tried to contact me
852
00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:28,759
in over eight weeks.
853
00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:32,046
Take me to the airport. I've got a lot
to do and not much time to do it.
854
00:47:32,141 --> 00:47:33,677
You got it. Hyah!
855
00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:38,515
Narrator: So, a now desperate North,
with time running out,
856
00:47:38,606 --> 00:47:40,722
raced towards an uncertain future.
857
00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:43,774
Understandably, he was upset that his
parents hadn't called in two months.
858
00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:45,146
What he couldn't know, however,
859
00:47:45,237 --> 00:47:47,853
was that his parents hadn't done
much of anything in two months.
860
00:47:47,948 --> 00:47:50,815
As curator of the Smithsonian institution,
861
00:47:50,910 --> 00:47:54,118
it is my distinct honor
to unveil the newest addition
862
00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:56,992
to our illustrious hall of achievement.
863
00:47:57,083 --> 00:48:00,041
At 78 consecutive days and counting,
864
00:48:00,127 --> 00:48:03,460
the longest simultaneous coma
in medical history,
865
00:48:03,547 --> 00:48:06,084
ladies and gentlemen, North's folks.
866
00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:11,969
I'll now take questions.
867
00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:17,092
Yes! How can you equate a medical oddity
with man's landing on the moon?
868
00:48:18,312 --> 00:48:22,055
With all due respect
to the achievements of the Apollo 11 crew,
869
00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:25,607
the sociological impact
of what these folks did
870
00:48:25,694 --> 00:48:29,027
dwarfs those of Mr. Armstrong et al.
871
00:48:29,115 --> 00:48:30,400
But all they did was faint.
872
00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:32,482
And in so doing,
873
00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:36,410
shifted the familial balance of power
throughout the world.
874
00:48:37,164 --> 00:48:40,497
"Throughout the world"? This thing
is getting bigger than we thought.
875
00:48:40,876 --> 00:48:42,741
It's bigger than you thought.
876
00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:44,994
That's why you're only
going to be president.
877
00:48:45,131 --> 00:48:49,124
Child's continuing process
to improve the status...
878
00:48:49,635 --> 00:48:51,355
Wait a minute. I just thought of something.
879
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,283
What if they start begging and pleading
for North to come back to them?
880
00:48:55,307 --> 00:48:58,470
Oh, my god!
What if North goes back to his folks?
881
00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:00,718
Arthur,
882
00:49:01,355 --> 00:49:04,347
don't you know that
that's an impossibility?
883
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:09,902
That I would use all my power to prevent
a thing like that from happening?
884
00:49:10,823 --> 00:49:11,823
Oh.
885
00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:13,735
Okay.
886
00:49:13,868 --> 00:49:18,202
What do you say we grab some Chinese?
Maybe the msg will calm you down.
887
00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:24,088
Narrator: Despite North's growing
concern about his approaching deadline,
888
00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:25,370
he did take solace in the fact
889
00:49:25,421 --> 00:49:28,754
that the lord needed only six days
to create the entire universe.
890
00:49:28,841 --> 00:49:31,321
Certainly, a kid of his caliber,
given an extra couple of days,
891
00:49:31,385 --> 00:49:33,876
should be able to find two measly parents.
892
00:49:42,813 --> 00:49:43,928
Greetings,
893
00:49:44,482 --> 00:49:45,562
North.
894
00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:48,182
I'm thy new father,
895
00:49:48,444 --> 00:49:50,651
and this good woman, who art my wife,
896
00:49:51,238 --> 00:49:52,523
art thy new mother.
897
00:49:53,908 --> 00:49:55,899
And these art thy new brothers,
898
00:49:56,202 --> 00:49:58,488
who art named Ezekiel.
899
00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:01,662
And these art thy new brothers,
900
00:50:01,749 --> 00:50:03,410
who art named art.
901
00:50:06,045 --> 00:50:08,502
Hey, hey, this looks great.
902
00:50:08,589 --> 00:50:10,079
I have always dreamt of a life
903
00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:13,007
without the ever-present
nuisance of electricity.
904
00:50:13,427 --> 00:50:15,839
Just let me grab something from the plane.
905
00:50:15,930 --> 00:50:19,263
I seem to have left my butter churn
in the overhead compartment.
906
00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:21,260
Floor it!
907
00:50:24,813 --> 00:50:27,213
Narrator: While it was not like North
to make snap judgments,
908
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:28,855
there were only seven days left.
909
00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:31,309
And he had a world
full of potential parents to evaluate.
910
00:50:39,119 --> 00:50:42,361
Man: Long live the North Dynasty!
911
00:50:46,252 --> 00:50:47,867
Man: Give him the emperor cut.
912
00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:04,474
Honey!
913
00:51:04,728 --> 00:51:05,763
Honey face!
914
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:26,076
You seem like very nice folks,
915
00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:28,164
but to be totally honest with you,
916
00:51:28,252 --> 00:51:31,710
if I lived here,
I'm not sure I'd get much homework done.
917
00:51:51,275 --> 00:51:54,893
Quiet, Harry! Quiet!
I think he's trying to tell us something.
918
00:51:58,073 --> 00:52:00,155
♪ Wack, wack, wack-ado... ♪
919
00:52:11,211 --> 00:52:15,124
With three days to go
before his 12:00 noon labor day deadline,
920
00:52:15,215 --> 00:52:18,707
North, the little world traveler,
arrived in New York today
921
00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:23,045
to interview his final set of parents,
ward and Donna Nelson,
922
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,973
who, along with their two children,
bud and Laura,
923
00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:29,052
live in the quaint upstate town of Bedford.
924
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:32,142
When contacted earlier at his office,
925
00:52:32,232 --> 00:52:36,976
ward, the local pediatrician, who, we
understand, still makes house calls,
926
00:52:37,071 --> 00:52:39,608
said, "my family and I
would like nothing better
927
00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:41,905
"than to see North's long journey
928
00:52:41,992 --> 00:52:45,484
"finally be rewarded
with a warm and loving home,
929
00:52:45,579 --> 00:52:47,820
"and we hope we can provide it for him."
930
00:52:49,917 --> 00:52:51,157
Thanks.
931
00:52:58,092 --> 00:52:59,252
Hi, North!
932
00:52:59,343 --> 00:53:01,834
Ward, bud, Laura, he's here!
933
00:53:01,929 --> 00:53:03,260
He's here!
934
00:53:04,306 --> 00:53:05,341
Hi, North!
935
00:53:05,432 --> 00:53:06,467
- Hi!
- Hello.
936
00:53:06,558 --> 00:53:07,843
Welcome to our home, son.
937
00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:09,641
Come on in. You tired, hungry?
938
00:53:09,728 --> 00:53:11,764
Mom and I baked you
some chocolate chip cookies.
939
00:53:11,855 --> 00:53:13,561
- Do you like Nintendo?
- North: Oh, yeah.
940
00:53:13,649 --> 00:53:15,230
Woman on TV: Today at mount Rushmore,
941
00:53:15,317 --> 00:53:18,525
thousands of angry parents
gathered to voice their opposition
942
00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:21,194
to the bill that would lower
the voting age to seven.
943
00:53:21,740 --> 00:53:25,528
According to Arthur belt, the rising
politician who drafted the bill...
944
00:53:25,619 --> 00:53:28,235
Wait! They were talking about me!
945
00:53:28,455 --> 00:53:31,822
Relax, Arthur, before you know it,
you'll be hearing your name so much,
946
00:53:31,959 --> 00:53:33,415
even you'll be sick of it.
947
00:53:33,752 --> 00:53:35,868
I highly doubt it.
948
00:53:38,590 --> 00:53:39,750
Talk to me.
949
00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:42,333
Boss, it's Al with the sleeping dogs.
950
00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:44,259
Yeah, what about them?
951
00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:46,883
Looks like they counted their last sheep.
952
00:53:48,767 --> 00:53:49,882
So it does.
953
00:53:51,061 --> 00:53:54,098
How long will it take
to get operation xerox into place?
954
00:53:54,189 --> 00:53:55,395
Less than a minute, boss.
955
00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:58,098
- Go to it, and, Al?
- Yeah, boss?
956
00:53:58,193 --> 00:54:01,560
Don't be surprised if there's a couple
of extra zeros in your next paycheck.
957
00:54:01,655 --> 00:54:03,191
Thanks, boss. I really appreciate it.
958
00:54:03,282 --> 00:54:05,364
- And, Al?
- Yeah, boss?
959
00:54:05,451 --> 00:54:07,442
Don't be surprised if there isn't.
960
00:54:07,536 --> 00:54:08,776
I understand.
961
00:54:24,261 --> 00:54:25,546
Good morning.
962
00:54:25,971 --> 00:54:27,211
Where are we?
963
00:54:27,431 --> 00:54:29,513
Where's our son?
964
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,931
Ooh. Can we see our son?
965
00:54:31,018 --> 00:54:32,258
Absolutely. Just follow me.
966
00:54:32,352 --> 00:54:36,220
We got a limo waiting for you outside
with coffee and some nice hot Danish.
967
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:38,146
Oh, that sounds good.
968
00:54:38,233 --> 00:54:41,066
I won't lie to you. I seem to have
worked up a bit of an appetite.
969
00:54:41,153 --> 00:54:42,689
- Honey?
- I could eat.
970
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:43,940
Right this way.
971
00:55:02,758 --> 00:55:04,089
Bud: Hike!
972
00:55:04,176 --> 00:55:06,883
Okay, Laura, sack the quarterback!
Here we go. Hey!
973
00:55:07,346 --> 00:55:09,052
Touchdown! Yeah!
974
00:55:09,139 --> 00:55:12,006
You faked me right out of my socks, North!
Great catch, buddy.
975
00:55:12,100 --> 00:55:13,340
Come and get it!
976
00:55:13,435 --> 00:55:14,435
Oh, here we go.
977
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,582
It's so great having you here, North.
I've always wanted a brother to throw to.
978
00:55:17,606 --> 00:55:20,313
Yeah, and now I have
two big brothers to look out for me.
979
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,688
Hey, I know we're all excited
to have North as part of our family,
980
00:55:23,779 --> 00:55:26,270
but he hasn't decided
if he wants to stay with us yet.
981
00:55:26,365 --> 00:55:29,323
- Come on, North. You gotta stay!
- Yeah. We really want you.
982
00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:31,741
Donna: Help yourself, everybody. Dig in.
983
00:55:31,829 --> 00:55:34,195
Laura: Mom, can we go
to the carnival tomorrow?
984
00:55:34,289 --> 00:55:35,495
Bud: Yeah, can we?
985
00:55:35,582 --> 00:55:36,697
Donna: I don't see why not.
986
00:55:36,792 --> 00:55:39,454
- Ward?
- Ward: Sounds good to me.
987
00:55:40,546 --> 00:55:41,956
North,
988
00:55:43,465 --> 00:55:44,921
we miss you so much.
989
00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:47,082
Please forgive us.
990
00:55:47,511 --> 00:55:50,548
We made so many mistakes.
991
00:55:51,598 --> 00:55:53,964
We should've appreciated you more.
992
00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:58,431
If only you could give us
just one more chance.
993
00:55:59,606 --> 00:56:01,346
We love you, son.
994
00:56:02,901 --> 00:56:04,607
We love you very much.
995
00:56:05,487 --> 00:56:06,487
Winchell: Cut!
996
00:56:06,572 --> 00:56:08,779
Very nice. Very, very nice.
997
00:56:09,157 --> 00:56:12,399
Touching, moving, and
yet, not over the top.
998
00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:13,609
Keep it rolling.
999
00:56:13,704 --> 00:56:15,660
So, crazy summer, huh?
1000
00:56:16,164 --> 00:56:18,530
- Ohh, terrible.
- Very disturbing.
1001
00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:20,490
Look, I know what you're going through,
1002
00:56:20,586 --> 00:56:23,749
but even if North doesn't come back,
you can always adopt.
1003
00:56:23,839 --> 00:56:26,421
Just the other day
I met this adorable little boy,
1004
00:56:26,508 --> 00:56:27,964
seven years old.
1005
00:56:28,051 --> 00:56:29,962
His name was Hugh.
1006
00:56:30,262 --> 00:56:33,675
Maybe you can adopt him.
Maybe Hugh can be your son.
1007
00:56:35,684 --> 00:56:37,345
We don't want Hugh.
1008
00:56:37,436 --> 00:56:39,097
He's not our son.
1009
00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:40,643
We want North.
1010
00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:44,439
I understand. It was insensitive
of me to even bring it up.
1011
00:56:44,818 --> 00:56:46,729
Uh, you folks want some more coffee?
1012
00:56:47,112 --> 00:56:49,478
- Nah. That's okay.
- Not for me.
1013
00:56:50,073 --> 00:56:53,236
I still don't understand
why we can't speak to North in person.
1014
00:56:53,577 --> 00:56:55,818
I think that would be a big mistake.
1015
00:56:55,913 --> 00:56:58,620
North is very angry right now.
He's very sensitive.
1016
00:56:58,999 --> 00:57:00,034
You show up unannounced,
1017
00:57:00,125 --> 00:57:02,457
and this whole thing
could blow up in your face,
1018
00:57:02,544 --> 00:57:05,502
and it would just kill me
to see a thing like that happen.
1019
00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:10,333
So, my suggestion is you lay low for a while.
I'll have someone escort you to the Plaza.
1020
00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:14,720
I already told Jean-Pierre to give you
all the room service you want,
1021
00:57:14,806 --> 00:57:16,671
and as North's best friend,
1022
00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:20,680
I'd be more than happy to show him
this tape to pave the way for you.
1023
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:22,640
Thank you, Winchell.
1024
00:57:22,731 --> 00:57:24,267
Oh, yes.
1025
00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:25,939
You're a real friend.
1026
00:57:26,026 --> 00:57:27,141
I do what I can.
1027
00:57:27,235 --> 00:57:28,816
Bring the car around for North's folks.
1028
00:57:28,904 --> 00:57:30,769
Yes, sir. Consider it done.
1029
00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:34,277
You know, you're doing very well
for a sixth grader.
1030
00:57:34,534 --> 00:57:36,399
Well, I caught a few breaks.
1031
00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:41,121
Adam, take the tape down to editing.
1032
00:57:45,045 --> 00:57:47,787
Laura: Colonel mustard in the study.
Ward: Yeah.
1033
00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:49,166
With the rope.
1034
00:57:49,257 --> 00:57:50,622
I don't have any of those.
1035
00:57:50,717 --> 00:57:51,717
Neither do I.
1036
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:52,840
Both: Me, neither.
1037
00:57:52,928 --> 00:57:53,928
Let's see.
1038
00:57:55,180 --> 00:57:57,546
Colonel mustard in the study,
1039
00:57:58,141 --> 00:57:59,141
and here's the rope.
1040
00:57:59,226 --> 00:58:00,453
Bud: All right.
1041
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,288
Ward: Good job, kitten.
Laura: Can we play again?
1042
00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:03,552
No. You have to hit the sack.
1043
00:58:03,647 --> 00:58:05,387
Come on. You've got
a big day tomorrow.
1044
00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:06,918
You don't want to be
tired for the carnival.
1045
00:58:06,942 --> 00:58:10,275
Your mom's right. Everybody run upstairs
to bed right now. Let's go.
1046
00:58:10,362 --> 00:58:11,477
- Okay.
- Good night, mom.
1047
00:58:11,571 --> 00:58:13,311
Good night, honey.
Good night, North.
1048
00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:15,819
- Good night.
- Night, mom. Night, dad.
1049
00:58:15,909 --> 00:58:17,991
Brush your teeth
before you go to bed.
1050
00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:25,782
Sorry to bother you
at this late hour,
1051
00:58:25,877 --> 00:58:28,117
but I got something important
here for a kid named North.
1052
00:58:28,296 --> 00:58:30,537
- What is it?
- Apparently it's an urgent message
1053
00:58:30,632 --> 00:58:32,247
from his original parents.
1054
00:58:32,843 --> 00:58:33,958
I'll see that he gets it.
1055
00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:35,132
Thank you.
1056
00:58:40,225 --> 00:58:41,590
North, honey?
1057
00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:42,685
North: Yeah?
1058
00:58:42,769 --> 00:58:44,169
Can you
come down here for a minute?
1059
00:58:44,521 --> 00:58:45,761
Coming.
1060
00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:48,434
What is it?
1061
00:58:48,525 --> 00:58:50,686
North, a man just came by
and left this tape for you.
1062
00:58:50,777 --> 00:58:52,438
It says it's a message
from your parents.
1063
00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:54,940
From my parents?
1064
00:58:55,615 --> 00:58:58,982
- Do you mind if I...
- Of course not.
1065
00:59:02,622 --> 00:59:04,032
Would you like
to be alone, North?
1066
00:59:04,124 --> 00:59:05,330
No. That's okay.
1067
00:59:16,636 --> 00:59:18,448
Woman:
After all you two you've been through,
1068
00:59:18,472 --> 00:59:20,508
what would you most like
to say to your son?
1069
00:59:20,974 --> 00:59:22,259
We don't want Hugh.
1070
00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:24,720
Woman: How can you say that?
He's your son.
1071
00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:26,263
He's not our son.
1072
00:59:26,980 --> 00:59:28,620
Woman:
Aren't you bothered by the prospect
1073
00:59:28,648 --> 00:59:30,138
of never seeing your son again?
1074
00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:31,727
Nah. That's okay.
1075
00:59:32,527 --> 00:59:34,063
Woman:
Isn't this a gut-wrenching,
1076
00:59:34,154 --> 00:59:36,145
torturous, emotional experience?
1077
00:59:36,490 --> 00:59:37,525
Not for me.
1078
00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:38,981
He's not our son.
1079
00:59:39,367 --> 00:59:40,652
We don't want Hugh.
1080
00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:50,830
North, honey, are you okay?
1081
00:59:51,338 --> 00:59:52,978
Ward: Is there anything
we can do for you?
1082
00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:55,164
Yeah.
1083
00:59:56,134 --> 00:59:57,294
Let me be your son.
1084
00:59:59,262 --> 01:00:01,002
Narrator:
Finally, North had new parents,
1085
01:00:01,556 --> 01:00:03,922
parents who made him
feel wanted, secure,
1086
01:00:04,059 --> 01:00:05,219
and loved,
1087
01:00:05,644 --> 01:00:07,100
yet something was still wrong.
1088
01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:08,593
The Nelsons were everything
he was looking for,
1089
01:00:08,605 --> 01:00:10,445
The Nelsons were everything
he was looking for,
1090
01:00:10,524 --> 01:00:11,889
so why couldn't he embrace them?
1091
01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:14,357
North needed answers.
1092
01:00:20,867 --> 01:00:23,279
Ward: North, we just
don't understand why you're leaving.
1093
01:00:23,995 --> 01:00:25,155
Neither do I.
1094
01:00:25,705 --> 01:00:28,492
You're all nice people
and I'm really gonna miss you,
1095
01:00:29,417 --> 01:00:30,953
but I've just got to be alone.
1096
01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:33,543
We're going to miss you, too.
1097
01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:36,205
And so will Oliver.
1098
01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:39,875
Donna: North.
1099
01:00:41,555 --> 01:00:42,715
Here.
1100
01:00:43,223 --> 01:00:45,063
In case you get hungry
on your way to New York.
1101
01:00:46,184 --> 01:00:47,549
Thanks, mom,
1102
01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:49,885
I mean, Mrs. Nelson.
1103
01:00:51,731 --> 01:00:52,811
Bye.
1104
01:01:05,412 --> 01:01:08,404
Narrator: So, with just 24
hours until his labor day deadline,
1105
01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:09,950
no hope of parents,
1106
01:01:10,041 --> 01:01:12,407
and the prospect of
living in an orphanage looming,
1107
01:01:13,128 --> 01:01:15,164
North felt he only
had one option left.
1108
01:01:15,714 --> 01:01:16,920
He would disappear.
1109
01:01:25,056 --> 01:01:27,798
Can you spare some extra change?
1110
01:01:28,310 --> 01:01:29,425
Oh.
1111
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:36,477
Here.
1112
01:01:36,568 --> 01:01:38,729
Maybe it'll bring you
more luck than it brought me.
1113
01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:42,486
Hey, it's got a hole in it!
1114
01:01:42,949 --> 01:01:44,940
What good does this do me?
1115
01:01:45,368 --> 01:01:47,279
Narrator: Yes,
he would disappear,
1116
01:01:48,079 --> 01:01:49,364
and where better to do that
1117
01:01:49,456 --> 01:01:51,321
than amidst the teeming,
faceless masses
1118
01:01:51,416 --> 01:01:52,622
of the naked city?
1119
01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:10,306
Want to go downtown?
1120
01:02:10,393 --> 01:02:12,258
- Shut up!
- I'm gonna arrest you both.
1121
01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:28,112
He's heading into the park.
1122
01:02:28,203 --> 01:02:31,163
Don't worry, boss. I'm just looking
for the right time and the right place.
1123
01:02:31,373 --> 01:02:32,658
So long, Al.
1124
01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:35,084
What was that all about?
1125
01:02:35,168 --> 01:02:38,035
Well, it seems that
our young friend's had a change of heart.
1126
01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:41,420
Change of heart?
1127
01:02:41,508 --> 01:02:45,342
He's left The Nelsons and has decided
to grace our fair city with his presence.
1128
01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:47,385
Oh, no.
1129
01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:49,424
Well, this ruins everything.
1130
01:02:49,599 --> 01:02:53,183
Arthur, please, use your head.
1131
01:02:53,353 --> 01:02:54,684
This is a godsend.
1132
01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:57,141
- It is?
- Of course.
1133
01:02:57,899 --> 01:03:01,141
As we speak, grownups
across this great land of ours
1134
01:03:01,236 --> 01:03:02,772
are feeling humiliated.
1135
01:03:02,862 --> 01:03:05,820
They blame North for all
their frustrations.
1136
01:03:05,907 --> 01:03:08,614
Do you realize how many
of those angry parents
1137
01:03:08,702 --> 01:03:11,990
would like nothing better
than to do away with our little friend?
1138
01:03:12,872 --> 01:03:15,033
And do you know the one catalyst
1139
01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:18,037
that can give
a political movement true cohesion?
1140
01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:21,586
That's right.
1141
01:03:21,965 --> 01:03:23,205
A martyr.
1142
01:03:24,301 --> 01:03:26,917
You're a genius.
I mean, it's brilliant.
1143
01:03:27,262 --> 01:03:28,718
It's absolutely Winchellian.
1144
01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:29,965
It... it...
1145
01:03:31,516 --> 01:03:32,756
But for North to be martyred,
1146
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:35,880
doesn't he have to be killed
by one of those angry parents?
1147
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:39,020
Well, maybe we'll get lucky.
1148
01:03:44,154 --> 01:03:45,464
Narrator: As North
ran for his life,
1149
01:03:45,488 --> 01:03:48,328
he couldn't help but wonder how his
dream of finding the perfect parents
1150
01:03:48,366 --> 01:03:49,902
had turned into a nightmare.
1151
01:04:13,933 --> 01:04:15,264
Ah! Ah!
1152
01:04:18,271 --> 01:04:19,306
Ah.
1153
01:04:26,112 --> 01:04:27,112
Damn it!
1154
01:05:14,661 --> 01:05:17,073
Psst! North. Over here.
1155
01:05:17,288 --> 01:05:18,949
Adam, what are you doing here?
1156
01:05:21,751 --> 01:05:23,161
Listen to me very carefully.
1157
01:05:23,503 --> 01:05:25,243
I'm not here. You never saw me.
1158
01:05:25,338 --> 01:05:27,298
We're not even having
this conversation right now.
1159
01:05:27,674 --> 01:05:29,380
- Got that?
- Got what?
1160
01:05:29,717 --> 01:05:30,797
Perfect.
1161
01:05:31,010 --> 01:05:32,841
So, what are we
not talking about?
1162
01:05:34,347 --> 01:05:35,347
This.
1163
01:05:35,390 --> 01:05:36,846
What? I don't see anything.
1164
01:05:37,058 --> 01:05:40,016
Exactly! What you don't see
is a tape of the conversation
1165
01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:41,593
Winchell had with your parents.
1166
01:05:41,688 --> 01:05:42,768
I saw it.
1167
01:05:42,856 --> 01:05:45,063
- No, you didn't.
- Oh, I forgot.
1168
01:05:45,150 --> 01:05:46,185
I didn't see it.
1169
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:47,516
No, you did see it,
1170
01:05:47,610 --> 01:05:49,490
and this is what you
didn't see when you saw it.
1171
01:05:49,737 --> 01:05:50,897
I see.
1172
01:05:51,364 --> 01:05:53,605
I don't think you do.
Look at the tape.
1173
01:05:54,576 --> 01:05:55,907
So, how'd you find me?
1174
01:05:56,077 --> 01:05:58,159
Winchell. He bugged
The Nelsons' phones.
1175
01:05:58,246 --> 01:05:59,452
- Winchell?
- Shh!
1176
01:06:01,332 --> 01:06:02,538
He's everywhere.
1177
01:06:02,750 --> 01:06:04,786
I've been working
for him ever since you left home.
1178
01:06:06,087 --> 01:06:09,295
You know, some guy
was chasing me with a gun.
1179
01:06:09,757 --> 01:06:11,213
He was shooting at me.
1180
01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:14,588
That didn't have
anything to do with Winchell, did it?
1181
01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:18,133
Oh, man.
1182
01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:19,885
So, why are you doing this?
1183
01:06:20,059 --> 01:06:24,348
I'm not, but if I was,
because I think Winchell's gone too far.
1184
01:06:24,981 --> 01:06:27,267
Also, you were always good
to me, North.
1185
01:06:27,734 --> 01:06:29,065
You never picked me last.
1186
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:31,063
You never made me
play right field.
1187
01:06:31,154 --> 01:06:32,735
I'll never forget that.
1188
01:06:32,906 --> 01:06:34,021
Thanks, Adam.
1189
01:06:35,742 --> 01:06:36,822
Oh, man.
1190
01:06:36,951 --> 01:06:39,283
Adam, I just don't
feel safe anywhere.
1191
01:06:40,705 --> 01:06:41,785
Adam?
1192
01:06:42,582 --> 01:06:43,697
Adam?
1193
01:06:59,766 --> 01:07:01,427
Can I have a hot dog
with just mustard?
1194
01:07:01,601 --> 01:07:03,057
That'll be $1.00.
1195
01:07:07,357 --> 01:07:08,472
Out of five.
1196
01:07:08,942 --> 01:07:11,433
Two, three, four, five.
1197
01:07:11,986 --> 01:07:13,146
There you go.
1198
01:07:16,241 --> 01:07:17,321
Where did you get this?
1199
01:07:17,534 --> 01:07:20,446
Some bum bought
a hot dog from me about an hour ago. Why?
1200
01:07:21,663 --> 01:07:22,994
No reason.
1201
01:07:23,915 --> 01:07:25,075
Ah! Ah!
1202
01:07:37,303 --> 01:07:38,418
Ah!
1203
01:07:51,818 --> 01:07:53,354
We won't see him no more.
1204
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:50,707
Watch, watch, watch!
Watch there, you...
1205
01:09:00,928 --> 01:09:02,168
Excuse me.
1206
01:09:02,597 --> 01:09:03,962
Move it, kid.
1207
01:09:04,349 --> 01:09:05,714
Come on, move it.
1208
01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:14,764
Comedian: Which reminds me of this man
that walked into a bar.
1209
01:09:15,693 --> 01:09:18,025
He sits down next to
a very beautiful young lady...
1210
01:09:18,529 --> 01:09:20,986
Before you know it,
the conversation turns to sex.
1211
01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:25,863
He says to her, "my darling,
do you smoke after you make love?"
1212
01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:29,238
She says, "I don't know.
I never looked."
1213
01:09:32,251 --> 01:09:36,085
"But I'll tell you one thing,
my smoke alarm never went off.”
1214
01:09:39,092 --> 01:09:41,253
Good night, folks.
You've been great. Thank you.
1215
01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:45,545
Thank you.
1216
01:09:57,443 --> 01:09:58,754
You the kid with the tape? Yeah.
1217
01:09:58,778 --> 01:10:01,269
Good. Come in. I want
to try out my new VCR.
1218
01:10:01,656 --> 01:10:03,647
- How did you know that?
- What's that, kid?
1219
01:10:06,619 --> 01:10:08,180
Of course, I look familiar,
I'm almost famous.
1220
01:10:08,204 --> 01:10:09,489
Joey fingers, nice to see you.
1221
01:10:09,580 --> 01:10:11,195
- And you are?
- North.
1222
01:10:11,499 --> 01:10:13,139
Always been one
of my favorite directions.
1223
01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:15,534
- Mallomar?
- No, thanks.
1224
01:10:16,129 --> 01:10:17,209
That bad, huh?
1225
01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:19,837
- What?
- No kid ever refuses a mallomar
1226
01:10:19,924 --> 01:10:22,284
unless he's wrestling
with some pretty heavyweight problems.
1227
01:10:24,011 --> 01:10:27,299
North, we miss you so much.
1228
01:10:28,015 --> 01:10:29,130
Please forgive us.
1229
01:10:29,892 --> 01:10:32,759
We made so many mistakes.
1230
01:10:33,521 --> 01:10:36,228
North's Mom: We should've
appreciated you more.
1231
01:10:37,275 --> 01:10:41,314
North's Dad: If only you could give us
just one more chance.
1232
01:10:41,863 --> 01:10:43,319
North's Mom: We love you, son.
1233
01:10:44,282 --> 01:10:46,523
We love you very much.
1234
01:10:49,954 --> 01:10:51,990
Beautiful. Works like a charm.
1235
01:10:52,665 --> 01:10:54,305
You got some pretty
nice folks there, kid.
1236
01:10:55,293 --> 01:10:56,328
Huh?
1237
01:10:56,794 --> 01:10:58,514
I said you got some
pretty nice folks there.
1238
01:10:59,046 --> 01:11:00,161
Yeah.
1239
01:11:00,506 --> 01:11:01,586
I guess so.
1240
01:11:01,799 --> 01:11:03,799
- What do you mean, you guess so?
- Well, I mean...
1241
01:11:03,843 --> 01:11:06,084
And what did they mean
by "give us one more chance"?
1242
01:11:06,387 --> 01:11:07,672
I thought they didn't love me.
1243
01:11:08,139 --> 01:11:09,254
What are you, nuts?
1244
01:11:09,515 --> 01:11:13,474
That's just the thing. They didn't always
pay that much attention to me.
1245
01:11:13,895 --> 01:11:16,887
So, I left them to find
some new folks who'd appreciate me more.
1246
01:11:17,732 --> 01:11:20,018
I searched the whole world,
but nobody was good enough,
1247
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:22,396
not even The Nelsons,
who I just left,
1248
01:11:23,196 --> 01:11:25,027
and they weren't bad folks.
1249
01:11:26,032 --> 01:11:27,772
Maybe there's something
wrong with me.
1250
01:11:28,576 --> 01:11:30,362
Ah, there's nothing
wrong with you.
1251
01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:32,906
I'm sure The Nelsons
weren't bad folks.
1252
01:11:33,623 --> 01:11:35,033
They just weren't your folks.
1253
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:37,240
You see those people out there?
1254
01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:38,825
That audience?
1255
01:11:39,003 --> 01:11:41,710
They paid attention to me.
They listened to every word I said.
1256
01:11:42,089 --> 01:11:44,330
They laughed.
They screamed. They applauded.
1257
01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:46,416
They loved me,
1258
01:11:46,761 --> 01:11:48,405
but do you think
that audience is gonna make me
1259
01:11:48,429 --> 01:11:50,090
a cup of tea
if I'm not feeling well?
1260
01:11:50,807 --> 01:11:51,992
You think they're gonna
give me advice
1261
01:11:52,016 --> 01:11:53,616
when I get in a fight
with my best friend
1262
01:11:53,684 --> 01:11:56,847
or, god forbid,
I get in girl trouble?
1263
01:11:56,938 --> 01:11:58,428
Who do you think
I'm gonna turn to?
1264
01:11:59,065 --> 01:12:00,430
I'll give you a hint.
1265
01:12:00,983 --> 01:12:02,098
It's not that audience.
1266
01:12:02,193 --> 01:12:03,649
Oh, my god, what have I done?
1267
01:12:03,736 --> 01:12:05,172
I'll tell you what you've done.
1268
01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:06,596
You've realized
something that takes
1269
01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:08,336
most people
a whole lifetime to figure out.
1270
01:12:08,741 --> 01:12:10,421
And some people
never figure it out at all.
1271
01:12:11,536 --> 01:12:13,902
That a bird in the hand
is always greener than the grass
1272
01:12:13,996 --> 01:12:15,361
under the other guy's bushes.
1273
01:12:20,503 --> 01:12:23,040
It's a metaphor used
mostly by gardeners
1274
01:12:23,130 --> 01:12:24,586
and landscape people in general.
1275
01:12:28,386 --> 01:12:29,421
Hey, kid!
1276
01:12:30,930 --> 01:12:32,591
Hey, kid! Where are you going?
1277
01:12:32,682 --> 01:12:34,422
Home. I miss my parents.
1278
01:12:34,642 --> 01:12:36,682
How are you gonna
get to the airport? You got a car?
1279
01:12:36,769 --> 01:12:38,225
No. I'm 11.
1280
01:12:38,604 --> 01:12:40,094
All right,
then we better take mine.
1281
01:12:42,525 --> 01:12:44,645
Woman:
The white zone is for immediate loading
1282
01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:46,434
and unloading
of passengers only.
1283
01:12:47,029 --> 01:12:48,394
No parking.
1284
01:12:53,494 --> 01:12:55,280
Thanks for everything,
Mr. Fingers.
1285
01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:57,612
Make it Joey,
and you're welcome.
1286
01:12:58,249 --> 01:13:01,116
And remember, kid, if you can't
stand the heat, stay out of Miami.
1287
01:13:01,460 --> 01:13:03,200
Well, what does
that metaphor mean?
1288
01:13:03,296 --> 01:13:05,628
What metaphor?
You ever been down there in August?
1289
01:13:05,965 --> 01:13:08,081
Your balls stick to
your leg like crazy glue.
1290
01:13:08,259 --> 01:13:09,374
Good-bye.
1291
01:13:09,468 --> 01:13:11,550
Narrator: And so, North
finally found the parents
1292
01:13:11,637 --> 01:13:12,968
he'd always been looking for.
1293
01:13:13,431 --> 01:13:15,763
Much to his surprise,
they were his own.
1294
01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:18,512
So, it was with a song
in his heart and a smile on his face
1295
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:20,873
that North prepared to board the
final plane that would take him
1296
01:13:20,897 --> 01:13:23,104
back to the loving arms
of those very parents.
1297
01:13:23,482 --> 01:13:24,762
Where do you think you're going?
1298
01:13:24,942 --> 01:13:27,183
- I'm going home.
- Not on this plane, you're not.
1299
01:13:27,987 --> 01:13:28,987
Why not?
1300
01:13:29,363 --> 01:13:30,819
It says here you're dead.
1301
01:13:34,327 --> 01:13:35,567
But I'm not.
1302
01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:36,992
How can I be sure?
1303
01:13:37,705 --> 01:13:39,320
I'm standing here talking to you.
1304
01:13:39,498 --> 01:13:40,658
I know and that scares me.
1305
01:13:40,958 --> 01:13:42,198
And since I don't scare easily,
1306
01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:44,313
you can imagine
how it will affect the other passengers.
1307
01:13:44,337 --> 01:13:45,577
But I'm not dead.
1308
01:13:45,963 --> 01:13:47,794
Sorry, son. I can't take
that chance.
1309
01:13:48,049 --> 01:13:49,084
Boy: Hey, it's North.
1310
01:13:49,175 --> 01:13:50,210
He's alive.
1311
01:13:50,301 --> 01:13:52,917
- What's he doing here?
- This plane's headed to his hometown.
1312
01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:54,798
He's trying
to get back to his old parents.
1313
01:13:54,889 --> 01:13:55,969
It'll ruin everything.
1314
01:13:56,057 --> 01:13:57,467
Let's get him!
1315
01:13:58,017 --> 01:13:59,097
Hey!
1316
01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:03,010
Get that traitor!
1317
01:14:07,944 --> 01:14:09,855
Stop him! Get that traitor!
1318
01:14:17,578 --> 01:14:18,988
Hey, kid, hop in.
1319
01:14:23,209 --> 01:14:25,370
North:
What are you, some kind of guardian angel?
1320
01:14:25,711 --> 01:14:27,201
Well, I guess you can say that,
1321
01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:29,691
'cause in a manner
of speaking, we at federal express
1322
01:14:29,715 --> 01:14:31,000
feel that we are guardians,
1323
01:14:31,467 --> 01:14:33,298
guardians of your
most important packages
1324
01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:35,923
- and priority communiques.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1325
01:14:36,097 --> 01:14:37,382
Just get me home, will you?
1326
01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:40,548
Well, if you absolutely
positively have to be home
1327
01:14:40,643 --> 01:14:42,683
by tomorrow morning,
you've come to the right truck.
1328
01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:46,471
Man, you don't let up
for a second, do you?
1329
01:14:46,565 --> 01:14:48,305
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
1330
01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:50,401
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
1331
01:14:51,028 --> 01:14:52,893
Just tell me what to do, okay?
1332
01:14:53,572 --> 01:14:54,903
Get in.
1333
01:14:58,202 --> 01:14:59,533
Federal express, huh?
1334
01:14:59,704 --> 01:15:00,739
Okay, thanks.
1335
01:15:02,039 --> 01:15:03,279
Oh, Al.
1336
01:15:03,749 --> 01:15:05,364
Can I have a word with you?
1337
01:15:05,793 --> 01:15:07,533
Oh. Sure, boss.
1338
01:15:08,754 --> 01:15:11,086
Remember when you
told me North was dead?
1339
01:15:11,465 --> 01:15:13,581
- Yeah.
- Uh, just curious,
1340
01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:14,798
what'd you base that on?
1341
01:15:25,229 --> 01:15:28,096
I can only assume
that you think this is blood, Al,
1342
01:15:28,190 --> 01:15:30,351
and if I had an I.Q. below 24,
1343
01:15:30,443 --> 01:15:32,479
I suppose I might think
the same,
1344
01:15:32,570 --> 01:15:34,777
but the stain in this cap
comes from borscht.
1345
01:15:35,656 --> 01:15:37,738
- Borscht?
- Yes, borscht,
1346
01:15:37,825 --> 01:15:39,816
a beet-based soup,
Russian in origin,
1347
01:15:39,910 --> 01:15:43,448
most frequently served chilled
with a dollop of sour cream.
1348
01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:45,366
I make a good borscht.
1349
01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:47,998
And I'd love
to sample it someday,
1350
01:15:48,461 --> 01:15:50,702
but the point
I'm making here, Al,
1351
01:15:50,796 --> 01:15:53,583
is that unless
North's head was filled
1352
01:15:53,674 --> 01:15:56,416
with this
traditional Slavic delicacy,
1353
01:15:56,510 --> 01:15:58,717
he's not dead, you idiot!
1354
01:15:58,804 --> 01:16:01,011
- Oh, no! This means that...
- Not now, Arthur.
1355
01:16:01,098 --> 01:16:04,636
All right. All right. This just calls
for a slight change in plans.
1356
01:16:13,694 --> 01:16:14,979
I'll take it from here.
1357
01:16:15,321 --> 01:16:16,401
All right.
1358
01:16:16,655 --> 01:16:17,861
Sign on the fourth line.
1359
01:16:18,282 --> 01:16:19,362
What time is it?
1360
01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:22,024
Well, normally my answer
would be no later than 10:30,
1361
01:16:22,119 --> 01:16:24,701
but thanks
to that Jack-knifed truck on the highway,
1362
01:16:24,789 --> 01:16:27,531
I'm sorry to say
it's almost 10 to 12:00.
1363
01:16:29,460 --> 01:16:31,291
We'll, we'll be happy
to refund your...
1364
01:16:31,378 --> 01:16:32,663
No, that's okay.
1365
01:16:33,422 --> 01:16:35,583
Mom! Dad!
1366
01:16:35,925 --> 01:16:37,290
I'm home!
1367
01:16:37,843 --> 01:16:39,003
Mom!
1368
01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:42,003
Where are you guys?
1369
01:16:42,973 --> 01:16:44,838
Mom? Dad?
1370
01:16:47,103 --> 01:16:48,263
Mom?
1371
01:16:49,855 --> 01:16:51,516
Mom?
1372
01:16:51,607 --> 01:16:53,598
Hello, North. Happy labor day.
1373
01:16:53,859 --> 01:16:55,645
I trust your summer
was an enjoyable one.
1374
01:16:55,861 --> 01:16:56,941
Where are my folks?
1375
01:16:57,154 --> 01:16:58,274
Oh, they're at a safe place.
1376
01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:02,027
Where the hell are my parents?
1377
01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:04,655
North, did you
say the word "hell"?
1378
01:17:05,204 --> 01:17:06,910
My, the summer's
really broadened you.
1379
01:17:07,581 --> 01:17:10,948
Winchell, I've got exactly 10 minutes
to find my parents,
1380
01:17:11,043 --> 01:17:12,783
and if you don't tell me
where they are,
1381
01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:16,045
I'll show you how much this summer's
broadened me you little asshole!
1382
01:17:18,008 --> 01:17:19,339
Why are you smiling?
1383
01:17:19,510 --> 01:17:21,341
I was just thinking
what a beautiful
1384
01:17:21,428 --> 01:17:23,134
heartwarming scene
it's going to be
1385
01:17:23,222 --> 01:17:24,699
when you're reunited
with your parents
1386
01:17:24,723 --> 01:17:26,429
at that secret spot of yours.
1387
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:28,761
How do you know
about my secret spot?
1388
01:17:29,103 --> 01:17:30,343
I'm a journalist, North.
1389
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:32,094
It's my job to know
about these things,
1390
01:17:32,565 --> 01:17:34,681
and as much as I'm
enjoying this little chat,
1391
01:17:34,775 --> 01:17:36,231
shouldn't you be on your way?
1392
01:17:36,318 --> 01:17:40,903
After all, you're down
to nine minutes.
1393
01:17:55,045 --> 01:17:57,752
Where is he?
Winchell said he'd be here by now.
1394
01:17:58,716 --> 01:18:00,047
Don't worry, honey.
1395
01:18:00,759 --> 01:18:01,919
I'm sure, he'll be here soon.
1396
01:18:02,178 --> 01:18:03,714
Soon may not be good enough.
1397
01:18:03,804 --> 01:18:06,170
Let me remind you,
I've been sent here by the court
1398
01:18:06,265 --> 01:18:09,348
to ensure that your son's
physically in your arms by 12:00 noon.
1399
01:18:09,894 --> 01:18:11,100
How much time is left?
1400
01:18:11,228 --> 01:18:12,434
Six minutes.
1401
01:18:13,147 --> 01:18:16,059
And that's
my own clock from my own house.
1402
01:18:38,923 --> 01:18:40,333
Maybe we should go look for him.
1403
01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:41,709
No, no, honey.
1404
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:44,542
What if we leave here and then North shows
up and then we miss him?
1405
01:18:46,013 --> 01:18:47,924
Relax, honey.
1406
01:18:48,224 --> 01:18:49,805
Winchell's a man of his word.
1407
01:18:51,477 --> 01:18:52,592
Hey, watch yourself, kid.
1408
01:19:05,991 --> 01:19:07,947
North's Mom:
He has less than one minute.
1409
01:19:08,035 --> 01:19:09,638
All right, you wait here.
I'll go look for him.
1410
01:19:09,662 --> 01:19:11,368
- Good idea.
- Judge: Bad idea.
1411
01:19:11,455 --> 01:19:13,161
Let me remind you,
the ruling stipulates
1412
01:19:13,249 --> 01:19:15,490
that North is supposed to be
in the arms of both parents.
1413
01:19:15,584 --> 01:19:17,245
That's two parents
and four arms.
1414
01:19:17,336 --> 01:19:19,918
If one of you leaves,
we're down to one parent and two arms,
1415
01:19:20,005 --> 01:19:21,415
the math speaks for itself.
1416
01:19:29,473 --> 01:19:31,009
Mom! Dad!
1417
01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:32,510
Both: North!
1418
01:20:03,424 --> 01:20:04,504
Hey.
1419
01:20:05,301 --> 01:20:06,416
You still here?
1420
01:20:07,428 --> 01:20:08,588
Yeah.
1421
01:20:09,471 --> 01:20:10,756
I must've fallen asleep.
1422
01:20:11,849 --> 01:20:13,430
Come on. I'll give you
a ride home.
1423
01:20:19,565 --> 01:20:21,430
North:
And then you were a beach bum.
1424
01:20:21,525 --> 01:20:23,311
And then you drove a sleigh.
1425
01:20:23,402 --> 01:20:24,733
And then you were a comedian
1426
01:20:24,820 --> 01:20:26,685
who said my parents
were the best for me.
1427
01:20:27,197 --> 01:20:29,438
I said that? Yeah.
1428
01:20:29,533 --> 01:20:31,364
I must be a pretty smart guy.
1429
01:20:43,339 --> 01:20:44,624
What's that?
1430
01:20:45,299 --> 01:20:46,630
Oh, nothing.
1431
01:20:47,509 --> 01:20:48,999
Just something I've always had,
1432
01:20:50,137 --> 01:20:52,093
you know, for good luck.
1433
01:20:53,432 --> 01:20:54,842
Yeah, maybe good luck for you.
1434
01:20:55,726 --> 01:20:57,806
I bet that eagle's whistling
a little different tune.
1435
01:20:58,771 --> 01:20:59,931
Here we go.
1436
01:21:00,022 --> 01:21:01,558
35, Maple Drive.
1437
01:21:11,950 --> 01:21:13,110
Thanks a lot, Mister.
1438
01:21:13,494 --> 01:21:14,700
Don't mention it, kid.
1439
01:21:14,912 --> 01:21:17,949
And remember,
be it ever so humble,
1440
01:21:18,374 --> 01:21:19,614
there's no place like home.
1441
01:21:20,584 --> 01:21:22,540
With the possible
exception of Vegas
1442
01:21:22,628 --> 01:21:24,835
when Sinatra's in town. Bye.
1443
01:21:38,435 --> 01:21:40,391
- North's Mom: North!
- North!
1444
01:21:40,521 --> 01:21:42,227
Mom! Dad!
1445
01:21:48,153 --> 01:21:50,439
Where were you?
We were worried sick.
1446
01:21:51,573 --> 01:21:53,814
I fell asleep in the mall.
1447
01:21:54,410 --> 01:21:56,901
We called the hospitals.
We called the police.
1448
01:21:56,995 --> 01:21:58,576
Oh, we looked everywhere.
1449
01:21:59,164 --> 01:22:00,324
You did?
1450
01:22:00,707 --> 01:22:01,822
Of course, we did.
1451
01:22:03,043 --> 01:22:04,829
We love you so much, North.
1452
01:22:07,005 --> 01:22:10,042
If anything ever happened to you,
I don't know what we'd do.
1453
01:22:11,510 --> 01:22:13,000
I love you guys, too.
1454
01:22:13,345 --> 01:22:14,505
Come on.
1455
01:22:15,055 --> 01:22:16,340
You hungry, honey?
1456
01:22:16,432 --> 01:22:18,827
North: A little bit.
North's Dad: A little bit? A little bit?
1457
01:22:18,851 --> 01:22:20,637
North: Okay, a lot.
North's Dad: Okay.
1458
01:22:20,727 --> 01:22:23,059
I'll tell you what, you run upstairs,
put on your pajamas,
1459
01:22:23,147 --> 01:22:24,624
we'll bring something up for you.
Tuck you in.
1460
01:22:24,648 --> 01:22:25,933
North: Okay.
112779
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