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1
00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,520
Happen we should...
..just get on with the wedding,
2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:07,760
and not tell anyone until
it's all over and done with.
3
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,600
I've never been a best man.
4
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,760
It's something I'd like to do,
once, before I die.
5
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,400
When I come back we really do
need to work out what's what
6
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,120
and whose is what,
and all the rest of it.
7
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,560
I think I'm a little bit
in love with you.
8
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,560
I need to tell you this thing.
9
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,280
She slept with John.
10
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,880
It's just a disappointment, isn't it?
An ongoing disappointment.
11
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:31,440
Who? Ellie. Girlfriend.
She's not my girlfriend.
12
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,040
Gillian's coming.
13
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,920
Gillian?
14
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,080
Yes. Oh, and Kate's moving in.
15
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:42,640
They've got an appointment to get
married at 11 o'clock this morning.
16
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:44,280
KEYS RATTLE
17
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,280
How long will it take?
18
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,720
Oh, I don't know.
Not long, I shouldn't think.
19
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,320
DOOR OPENS
20
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,000
This is Dave.
21
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,120
He's kindly agreed
to be our other witness.
22
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,000
This is, er, Celia.
23
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,280
How do you do?
24
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,560
And this is Azeem.
25
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,960
Do you know how long
it's going to take?
26
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,800
Er... Half an hour? 20 minutes?
27
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,400
About that, yeah.
28
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,000
I'm wondering if you'd be
better off finding somebody else.
29
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,880
Oh. Sorry.
30
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,760
Are you on duty? Is he on duty?
31
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,080
He shouldn't be wasting
half an hour being a witness
32
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:17,120
in a Registry Office
if he's on duty. I don't mind.
33
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:20,480
Would you be all right finding
somebody else if I do bugger off?
34
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,840
Well, yeah, obviously, I'll have to.
35
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,320
What if I gave you a £20 note?
36
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,480
Oh. Well...
37
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,840
Yeah. OK.
38
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,560
A £20 note?
39
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,400
Yeah. Each? Yeah.
40
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,480
Not between us. Yeah, both of you.
41
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,360
Well, that's sorted!
42
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,160
And now we're ready!
43
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,960
He's a policeman!
44
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,680
He shouldn't be fleecing pensioners.
45
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:52,120
And Azeem obviously
needs to be somewhere else.
46
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,000
You're fine, love.
I'll just say I got delayed.
47
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,640
Do you know Paul Jatri?
48
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,120
Should I?
49
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,000
Celia Dawson and Alan Buttershaw?
50
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,920
Yeah, that's us. Oh, that's us.
51
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,360
Are you ready to come up?
Yep, yeah.
52
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,920
I'm not too late?
Alan Buttershaw and Celia Dawson?
53
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,240
Just...just up the stairs.
54
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,240
And could you just confirm your
date of birth for me, please, Alan?
55
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,080
15th December, 1936.
56
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:44,280
No, fine, you carry on!
Don't tell us.
57
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,160
We don't mind.
We're just your daughters.
58
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,920
Is Caroline here?
59
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,640
No, Celia. She isn't,
60
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,320
because you can't get
from Harrogate to Halifax
61
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,080
in the space of 15 minutes.
62
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,800
Not unless you're Captain Spock,
63
00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,440
and you can disappear up your own
backside in a cloud of glitter
64
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,760
with a cheesy sound effect, and land
on another planet two seconds later.
65
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,600
I don't think even Caroline
can do that. I may be wrong.
66
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,240
She means Mr Spock.
67
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,760
Who's he?! That's Azeem.
68
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,000
"Halifax's Finest Halal."
Rawson Street, just on here.
69
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,080
Well, it's not mine,
it's me uncle's.
70
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,600
How did you know...?
71
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,520
Down the side of the settee.
I thought...
72
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,280
I didn't know what to think.
And you know what, Dad?
73
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:27,000
It's fine. You go live in Harrogate
with your posh pals,
74
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,360
don't bother speaking to me
for two weeks,
75
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,920
don't invite me to your
f... bloody wedding.
76
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,240
We used to talk to each other.
Do you remember?
77
00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:37,920
Before you had your head turned.
78
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,920
Don't you start on Celia.
79
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,040
I suppose it hasn't occurred to you
to ask why...?
80
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,360
I don't want to hear
your crappy little excuses.
81
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,240
Y-you would never have done
something like this before!
82
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,280
You would never not have
thought about me and Raff.
83
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,880
But that's fine,
84
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,360
if that's the way
they do things in Harrogate.
85
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,760
Enjoy.
86
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:09,240
Have you any, ANY idea how worried
and upset I've been, eh?
87
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,600
You haven't a f...
88
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,360
bloody clue!
89
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,760
Are we, er...
carrying on, then, or what?
90
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,320
Oh, damn. I feel a bit shaken now.
91
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,600
Would you like a few minutes?
Just to gather your thoughts?
92
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,720
Maybe I should ring Caroline.
93
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,440
That's up to you.
Have a seat.
94
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,280
She'll be busy.
95
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,400
I haven't turned your head, have I?
96
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:49,200
Ignore her. Oh, damn.
97
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,680
It must have fallen out of my pocket.
98
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,640
It was just meant to be
a bit of fun, you see,
99
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,000
getting married in secret.
100
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,960
Well, and romantic.
101
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,640
And we were just going to
tell 'em all afterwards.
102
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,000
We thought they'd think
it was funny.
103
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,360
We thought they'd be pleased for us.
104
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,080
It doesn't seem the same now,
if they know.
105
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,440
Well, they do know, clearly.
106
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,560
We weren't doing it just for effect.
107
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,160
We are actually in love
with each other.
108
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,160
We have been since we were kids.
109
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,440
I don't think we should let it
make any difference.
110
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,520
SHE SOBS
111
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,720
SHE SNIFFS
112
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,240
PHONE RINGS
113
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,360
SHE GROANS
114
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,600
Oh, you can do one.
115
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,160
'I can't take your call just now,
116
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,960
but if you leave a message,
I'll ring you back.'
117
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,920
Gillian, it's Caroline. I'm sorry
I couldn't talk properly earlier,
118
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,040
I was just, erm...
119
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,080
Are you all right?
120
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,880
Look. Ring me if you want to,
I'm sure it's... They'll just...
121
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,120
Oh, I don't know. I'll try you
again in a bit, OK? Bye-bye.
122
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,720
KNOCK AT DOOR
123
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,720
Caroline? John's on the phone.
124
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,320
Put him through.
125
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,560
PHONE RINGS
126
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,160
'Ello, 'ello.
127
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,640
'Hiya.'
128
00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,680
You all right? 'Been better.'
129
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,840
What time's your dinner break?
130
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,840
John.
131
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,720
It's me. 'Yes.'
132
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,200
Hello? 'Can I talk to you?'
133
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:10,960
Yes. No, I meant face-to-face.
134
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,680
When? Sooner rather than later.
135
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,600
Are you having a lunch break today,
or just working through?
136
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,360
What do you want to talk about?
137
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,480
'Me. Us. Everything.'
138
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,800
I can give you half an hour
at 1:30 if it's important.
139
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:31,880
Where? 'Well, it'd have to be here,
in my office.'
140
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,240
I think you're over-reacting.
141
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,080
He thinks the sun shines out
of her arse, and I'm just scum.
142
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,520
Well, he might think the sun...
whatever,
143
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,480
but why does that mean
he suddenly thinks that you're scum?
144
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,800
Oh, just...
145
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:49,160
He's taken up with her,
he's in love.
146
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,160
It's nice.
147
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,720
You can't be jealous.
148
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,760
I'm not jealous!
Well, what is it then?
149
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,560
Well, is it normal,
150
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,280
not inviting any of your nearest
and dearest to your wedding?
151
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,960
Well... I could understand
you being upset
152
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,880
if they'd invited Caroline
and not you, but they didn't.
153
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,720
They obviously wanted
this little secret...do.
154
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,720
I think it's romantic.
155
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:16,200
I think Caroline's right, they just
want... Oh, f... Bloody Caroline.
156
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,200
What's up with Caroline?
I thought you were mates? Nothing!
157
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,800
She walks on water.
She's perfection in human form.
158
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:27,720
And I'm just braindead
low-life trailer-trash. Oh, yes.
159
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,680
Is there something else going on?
160
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,320
He's been in Harrogate two weeks.
I've rung him four or five times,
161
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,840
because I'm worried about him,
and he knows I am,
162
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,800
and he barely has time
to speak to me.
163
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,640
And when he does it's all very...
164
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,280
tepid.
165
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,560
Have you argued about something?
166
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:50,360
No. Have you said something
that's upset him? No!
167
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,240
SHE SIGHS
168
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:57,320
I think she thinks
I'm a bit of a one.
169
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,920
Which I might be, sometimes.
170
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:05,560
But so what? Me dad's never minded
before. Well, he has, but...
171
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,160
I think she thinks our house
is a right muck-hole,
172
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,640
I can tell by t'look on her face.
It's a farm! Get over it.
173
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:16,040
Just cos I'm not sodding...perfect
like Caroline.
174
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,760
Do you want me to ring him? No.
175
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,040
No. Oh, it's...
176
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,520
No.
177
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,200
Shall we get married
and not tell anyone?
178
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,280
I don't know what's happening to me.
179
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,400
I don't know who I can... I can't...
180
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,160
There's no-one I can...
181
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,640
What do you want?
182
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,880
I didn't mean...
I meant generally, in life, now.
183
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,520
What do you want?
184
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,720
Focus on the future, not the past.
185
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,720
I want you. I want everything
to go back like it was.
186
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,600
Right.
187
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,560
I've moved on.
188
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,360
You are going to have to get used
to that, and when you do...
189
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,840
My publisher's dropped me.
190
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,760
Really? Really?
191
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,120
Yeah. Oh, shit.
192
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,800
Well, I'm...
193
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,000
God, I'm sorry.
194
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:39,080
I've squandered everything that
mattered. I don't recognise myself.
195
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,440
Could you get more work
at the university?
196
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,200
Yes, that's... It's...
197
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,200
I can ask. But...
198
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,920
Would you like some tea?
199
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,800
DOOR OPENS
200
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,120
I may have...
201
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,760
..over-reacted.
202
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:07,760
You going to say anything? It were
just meant to be a bit of fun.
203
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,400
Bit of an adventure.
204
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:14,160
Nobody was excluding anybody...
205
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,360
as such. It were just...
Yeah, right.
206
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,040
Why would you think
it was all about you?
207
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,720
I didn't tell Caroline.
208
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,720
Cos of...
209
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:27,520
Cos of that what you said
last time I saw you...
210
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,560
about me mother.
211
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,480
And then you don't speak to me
for two weeks, hardly.
212
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,800
And I have to rely on Caroline,
this woman who...
213
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:41,200
let's be honest, I hardly know.
214
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:46,040
Having the courtesy to pick up
the phone to me
215
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,960
to know you're not...
back in hospital, or worse.
216
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,680
We came up wi' t'plan
217
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:56,560
before we ever even had
that conversation about your mum.
218
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,920
We just didn't want a fuss, love.
219
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,280
Your dad didn't, and neither did I.
220
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,400
It were nothing to do with anything
else. This is between me and him.
221
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,760
I really would appreciate you
not speaking to Celia like that.
222
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,680
I don't believe you anyway.
Right.
223
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:20,080
You don't...
You don't want a fuss? Fine.
224
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,720
But why would you not want to share
all of that with any of us?
225
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,720
With Raff, with your mates?
Not just me.
226
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,600
I mean, Harry and Maurice were
wetting themselves, they were...
227
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,760
I've said what I've said.
It's t'truth.
228
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,680
If you're not prepared to accept it,
there's very little I can do.
229
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:39,280
What have you done to him?
230
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,200
He didn't used to be like this.
231
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:46,400
You'll be voting for Snooty Dave
and his chums soon, Dad.
232
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,040
You'll be buying the Daily Mail.
I think we better go.
233
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,240
Back to Harrogate, is it?
234
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,760
I'll phone you when we arrive so
you'll know we've got there safely.
235
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,840
If you've time.
236
00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:00,960
I don't know how you can fashion
talking to your dad like this,
237
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,760
when you know how poorly he's been.
238
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,720
Don't go...Dad.
239
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,040
Well...
240
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,520
the thing is, we're married now,
so...
241
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:21,760
You did it?
Yeah, course we did it!
242
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,320
So I'm going back to Harrogate
with Celia,
243
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,560
because that's always
what t'plan were.
244
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,080
Plan were to come and tell you
first, because you're here,
245
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,680
and Caroline second,
because she's there.
246
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,840
We had a bit of a debate
about that, the logistics.
247
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,400
Because we didn't want Caroline
to feel she was any less important.
248
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:45,560
But we couldn't think of a way
round it...short of telephoning,
249
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,360
but we wanted to see people's faces
when we told them,
250
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,560
because...I thought
they'd be happy for us.
251
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,120
Right.
252
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:58,120
Well, if you'd had us all there
you could have seen all our faces
253
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,720
all at the same time, but obviously
that wasn't what you wanted.
254
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,360
Well...
255
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,400
perhaps we have made a mistake.
256
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,400
Well, we have, clearly,
because this doesn't resemble,
257
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:14,560
in any way shape or form, the
happy moment we hoped it might be.
258
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,760
SHE SNIFFS
259
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,480
I'm sorry.
260
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,760
I've over-reacted.
261
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,520
If I hadn't found that card,
I'd never have known,
262
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,680
and you'd have just turned up
all happy, and I'd have...
263
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,600
probably been very happy to see you.
264
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,520
But still...pissed off
265
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,040
that you hadn't spoken to me
properly for two weeks.
266
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,240
Yes, you don't have to remind me
that there was a...
267
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,120
reason for not speaking to me.
268
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,960
PHONE RINGS
269
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,920
Hello? 'Mum? It's me.'
270
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:21,240
Hiya. Is it all right
if I bring Ellie home?
271
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,760
For tea?
272
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,800
'Ellie?' Yeah.
273
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,480
She's not a vegetarian
or anything dozy, is she?
274
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,880
Well, actually, yeah, she is.
275
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,720
'Right, well,
I might have a carrot somewhere.
276
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,400
'Your grandad's got married.'
277
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,960
Me grandad?! 'Yeah.'
278
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,240
What?!
279
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,040
Yeah. 'When?'
280
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,440
This morning. The jammy old b...!
281
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,320
Were you there? Who were there?
Nobody. Nobody was there.
282
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,600
WHISPERS: Me grandad's got married!
283
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,200
How come?
284
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,960
ELLIE LAUGHS
285
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,680
Your grandad?
286
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,280
Is she laughing?
287
00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,760
ELLIE GIGGLES
288
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,280
Married?
289
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,600
Well, I don't know
whether they actually did.
290
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,760
Granny's got her mobile
permanently on voice mail,
291
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,440
so you know as much as me.
Ring Alan's mobile.
292
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:35,200
I don't think I've got his number.
Ring Gillian again.
293
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,880
I've rung her four times.
I don't think she's speaking to me.
294
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:41,400
Why? Oh, she was upset
because they hadn't invited us,
295
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,960
whereas I thought, well,
I wouldn't have time to go anyway.
296
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,760
Yes, you would! Kate,
I haven't got time to get divorced,
297
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,800
never mind going
to other people's weddings.
298
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,160
You are going to find time
to get divorced. Where's Dad?
299
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,920
He's at Judith's, I expect.
I don't know.
300
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,320
Angus said he saw him
in school today.
301
00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:00,040
Yes, he was. Briefly.
302
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:04,400
Why? We had something to discuss.
303
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,320
Angus said he looked hungover.
304
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,360
Yes, well, Angus has
a very fertile imagination.
305
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,040
What did he want to discuss?
306
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,840
I'll tell you later.
307
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,240
I know why they didn't invite us.
308
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,440
Why?
309
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,400
It's not rocket science, is it?
310
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,280
You don't think they didn't
invite anyone because of me?
311
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,960
Us. You and me.
312
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,040
What makes you think that?
313
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,440
Thanks.
314
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,720
What's she like?
The lady he's married.
315
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,360
She's kind of glamorous.
316
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,880
How?! Me grandad thinks she is.
317
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,800
And look at that car
she persuaded him to buy.
318
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,560
Well, he's mesmerised by her,
isn't he? She's nice. She's funny.
319
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,840
She's a bitch. What you on about?
That's a bit strong.
320
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,720
He'd never have had that heart
attack if she hadn't been so nasty
321
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,680
and small-minded...about Caroline.
322
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,400
She's got this daughter.
323
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,400
She's posh. Really brainy,
really clever. Really nice.
324
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,560
On what planet is Caroline "nice"?!
She is!
325
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,560
That night Celia and me grandad
went missing,
326
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,400
she was really supportive
and kind... She was the one
327
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,600
sat in this very chair,
blubbing her eyes out, going,
328
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:22,440
"Oh, I've been depressed."
It was me, me, f...
329
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,080
bloody me.
330
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,440
Do you mind not swearing
at the dining table, Mother?
331
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,360
Do you mind not cracking these
people up to be things they're not?
332
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,360
She's got a doctorate
in chemistry from Oxford.
333
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,760
So what?! I bet she doesn't
know how to deliver
334
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,720
breached twin lambs
at 3:00 in the morning,
335
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,160
in a blizzard.
336
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,720
I bet she does.
337
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,400
THEY GIGGLE
338
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,280
HE SIGHS
339
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,000
Well, Mrs Buttershaw.
340
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,360
Well, Mr Buttershaw.
341
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,080
It's been quite a day.
342
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,480
Every day with you
seems to be quite a day,
343
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,960
one way or another.
344
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,600
I can't remember what I did with
myself all day before I met you.
345
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,480
No, I don't think I can.
346
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,480
I just used to fart about
and do bugger all.
347
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,760
Oh, I'm quite fond of farting about
and doing bugger all.
348
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,840
I think it relaxes you.
349
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:29,360
"Hobbies include farting about
and doing bugger all."
350
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,960
I might put it on my CV.
351
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,480
Have you got one?
352
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,080
Have I hell!
353
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,880
I don't need one,
I'm a woman of leisure.
354
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:42,720
And means. Have been
for some significant time.
355
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,920
I'm quite a catch, let's face it,
in oh so many ways.
356
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,720
And modest, too. Hell, no!
357
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:53,280
When did being modest
ever get you anywhere?
358
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,240
So.
359
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,320
So...
360
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,480
The wedding night! Hmm.
361
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,920
60 years later than anticipated,
maybe, but...
362
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,960
Well worth the wait.
363
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,000
Well, we'll find out, won't we?
364
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,920
THEY LAUGH
365
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,560
Had we not better knock on
Caroline's door first?
366
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,960
Oh, God.
367
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,400
I wonder what Gillian's told her?
368
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,440
CORK POPS
Where's Kate?
369
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,920
Oh, she's gone home. Just tonight,
just to sort out a few things.
370
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,600
And the boys?
371
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,880
William's got a job in town,
washing up in a restaurant.
372
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,040
Good for him! He won't be back
until gone midnight.
373
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,840
And Lawrence is upstairs sulking.
374
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,480
Oh, why?
375
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,080
Cos I've taken him off at the knees,
I wiped the floor with him.
376
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,240
What's he done? He's upset Kate.
377
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,640
Why, what's he said?
378
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,280
Apparently - I didn't hear it, I
was trying to fathom the gas bill -
379
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,880
he said the reason you hadn't
invited any of us to the wedding
380
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,080
wasn't rocket science, it was
because you didn't want Kate there.
381
00:22:56,120 --> 00:23:00,600
Cheers! Congratulations!
Here's mud in your eye.
382
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,920
Which I said was nonsense.
It is nonsense.
383
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,480
It were nowt to do with anyone else,
it was just meant to be a bit of...
384
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:10,080
A bit of fun! I know. As long as
we're clear that it is nonsense.
385
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:13,120
It's nonsense. And you can
tell her that from me.
386
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,560
Or you can tell her yourself
the next time you see her. Right.
387
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,520
Right.
388
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,600
So, just out of interest,
now you're married,
389
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,760
where were you thinking of living?
390
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,600
Ah, well... We've not really...
391
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,600
..that's one of the things, you see.
392
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,200
We were getting that bogged down
in t'practicalities
393
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,320
of this, that and t'other,
we ended up thinking,
394
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,920
"Well, we'll never get wed
at this rate."
395
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,480
OK, well, I'm just going to
run this past you.
396
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,600
John's publisher's
given him the shove.
397
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:44,720
Oh, shit!
398
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,760
So, this is the thing...
399
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,440
He can't afford to buy me out,
my half, my share,
400
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:54,320
which I always imagined he could,
but he can't, so, wahey.
401
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:58,440
Anyway, now I'm contemplating ways
in which I can buy him out,
402
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:02,640
rather than...sell up,
which, obviously, is an option.
403
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,320
OK...
404
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,880
I've not had the house valued yet,
but based on what I imagine
405
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,600
we'd be looking at, and if you did
want to live in the flat together...
406
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,920
We'd have to make a contribution?
407
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,920
It's... That's...
408
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,000
I have already put money
into this house.
409
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,760
The bottom line...
410
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,640
unless a number of factors kick in,
financially,
411
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,120
is that we would have to sell up.
412
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,360
What sort of figure would you be
looking for from me?
413
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,120
From us.
414
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,240
100,000.
415
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:38,560
One along here sold for 850,000
a few weeks ago, it's ridiculous.
416
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,960
And you could afford
the rest yourself?
417
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,560
No, I was going to ask Kate.
Ask Kate what?
418
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,800
To sell her house.
I haven't said anything to her yet.
419
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,960
I wanted to talk to you first.
420
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:54,440
Look, don't... Nobody has to make
any instant decisions. I just...
421
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,520
It's the boys, you see, as well.
422
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,520
I'd like to be able
to give them that stability,
423
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,640
at least until they've finished
their education, and...
424
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,600
Oh, God, I'm sorry!
425
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:11,880
It's your wedding night. I shouldn't
be inflicting all that on you now.
426
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,480
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
427
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,320
Take this.
428
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,760
Oh, thank you.
429
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,600
Could you give us a minute?
430
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,040
Eh? Oh, yes. Yes, of course I can.
431
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:27,120
Thank you, Caroline.
It's a pleasure.
432
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,520
I'll see you in t'morning.
I'll see you in the morning.
433
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:39,120
What?
434
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,280
It wasn't about Kate,
us getting married like this.
435
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,320
It hadn't occurred to me.
436
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:48,920
It was because of what
the consultant said
437
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,960
that morning Alan left hospital.
438
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,880
What do you mean?
439
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,320
We just wanted to get it done with,
440
00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:58,000
quickly, with as little fuss
as possible.
441
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:01,440
Why?
442
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,680
Look, you're not to say anything.
He won't talk about it.
443
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,880
He likes to pretend
there's nothing wrong with him,
444
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,240
and we just got married
for a bit of fun.
445
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:10,840
Which we did!
446
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,920
And Gillian doesn't know this.
What?
447
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,000
A sensible approach is the key,
Mr Buttershaw,
448
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,320
because, not to put too fine
a point on it,
449
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:25,400
you wouldn't survive
another heart attack.
450
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,480
Even a relatively small one.
451
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,680
Oh, good Lord. Yeah.
452
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,120
Yeah.
453
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,680
I just wanted you to know.
454
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,560
And you can tell Kate, so she knows.
455
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,320
It really wasn't
about anything else.
456
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,200
I need to tell you something.
How's she getting home?
457
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:05,600
Can she stop? Here?
Yeah. Tonight? Yeah. No.
458
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,520
You can give Ellie
a lift down Ripponden
459
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,080
when you go, can't you, Robbie?
460
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:13,160
Yeah. I'll be setting off
in about half an hour or so. Sorted.
461
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,560
Right.
462
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,400
OK. Well...
463
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,920
the thing is...
464
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:26,760
She's pregnant.
465
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,360
It's mine.
466
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,960
She's eight months.
467
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,320
She told her mum and dad
and they went mad.
468
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,120
They've chucked her out.
469
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,480
Has something happened?
470
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,400
'Not... No, not... Well, yeah, yeah.
471
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:57,600
'Something's... Raff's got himself
into a bit of bother.'
472
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,640
It's nowt to worry about, Dad.
473
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:04,040
I don't want you getting stressed.
474
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:10,280
Just...it might benefit him
if you're around a bit, that's all.
475
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,680
If... if you...
476
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:17,880
Right. OK. Well, we can pop over.
477
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,160
Who is it? Gillian.
478
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:24,160
That'd be...
'Can you give me general, erm...?'
479
00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:28,360
It's... It's... It's...
480
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,840
He's wanting to leave school,
481
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,440
and chuck his life down the drain.
482
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,760
Like I did. And I don't want him to.
483
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,800
Why? Why's he suddenly
thinking of doing that?
484
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,280
I thought he was doing very well
with his A-levels?
485
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,600
'He is! He is.
486
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,200
'It's...a bit complicated,
and there's a girl involved.
487
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:50,880
'It's...a man thing.'
488
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:54,960
It's best if you come over,
if you can.
489
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,320
I'm going to have to drive over
to Halifax. Is Robbie not around?
490
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,640
You can't drive, you're not allowed.
Bugger that.
491
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,960
'You're the only person
he ever really listens to.'
492
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,720
I'll drive you.
493
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,120
Sell my house? I know it's mad. But
you see, I think this is working,
494
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:11,680
you and me, don't you?
495
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,080
Well... There's Lawrence.
496
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,800
And the ever-constant threat
of John dropping by,
497
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,560
pissed, with Judith.
I'm dealing with all that.
498
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:20,840
And your mum.
499
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,880
Although maybe Celia and Alan will
want to go and live somewhere else
500
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,600
anyway, now they're married.
501
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,680
Well, no, thing is I'd probably need
her input as well, financially.
502
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,080
So she'd be staying?
503
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,600
Well, I... I think she's been on a
steep learning curve. Really, I do.
504
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,680
They'd probably spend most of
their time over at Gillian's anyway.
505
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:44,480
I don't know. Fine. I'm not saying
no. I shouldn't have asked.
506
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:45,600
CHILDREN SING HYMN
507
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,480
OK, good, it's fine, forget it,
let's not dwell on...
508
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,960
No. Actually...
If it was just about you and me,
509
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,760
I'd be worried that it was far too
quick and that you'd regret it.
510
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,240
Kate, I wouldn't have asked you
if I thought I'd regret it.
511
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,560
I like that house a lot,
but I'm not blinkered. It's...
512
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,120
I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
513
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,320
I hope I'm not shallow enough to be
asking you for the wrong reasons.
514
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,160
It's just a bit sooner than we might
have anticipated. That's all.
515
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:14,680
Really? Really.
516
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,680
Look. Say no. If you really
think it's wrong, say no.
517
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:19,800
But think about it.
518
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,400
It's not something
we have to decide this second.
519
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:25,760
I can't kiss you here.
520
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,480
No. No. You really can't. Nope.
521
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,280
We'd need to know the exact figures.
Mm-hm.
522
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,960
I've got someone coming to give me
a valuation later this afternoon.
523
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,440
I'll get mine valued.
524
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,080
So is that...?
525
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,880
There's just one other thing to say.
526
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:48,440
Which I would've brought up
527
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,640
further down the line had things
progressed...
528
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,680
but seeing as we're possibly moving
forward slightly faster than...
529
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:54,800
What?
530
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,840
You know I'm 42 next week?
Yes. I did know that. OK.
531
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,720
This is equally... OK.
532
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:09,760
I want a baby.
533
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,520
I want to have a baby.
534
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:16,280
I've always wanted a baby.
535
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,640
And if we are going to do this
properly, permanently,
536
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,880
you need to know that.
537
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,640
And it's good
that it's cropped up now
538
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,360
because time is not on my side.
539
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,800
No. Caroline.
540
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,280
I'm serious.
541
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:42,320
You better go.
542
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,720
So, what's up?
543
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:25,240
Celia.
544
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:26,280
Gillian.
545
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:33,200
You know I told you
Raff's got a girlfriend?
546
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,200
Is this the one that blows hot
and cold? That's right.
547
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:37,480
Ellie.
548
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:38,920
The one who only bothers with him -
549
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,920
if she hasn't got a better
offer on the table.
550
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,160
Well, what about her? She's here.
551
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:44,720
She's inside.
552
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,200
She's pregnant.
553
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,400
Eight months.
554
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,080
They both reckon it's his.
555
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,440
Her mum and dad
gave her an ultimatum,
556
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,320
which allegedly she didn't like.
557
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,440
It involved
not seeing our Raff any more.
558
00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:58,880
So...
559
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:04,120
Did she not...
think to get shut of it?
560
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,600
She didn't know she was pregnant.
She says.
561
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,440
She managed to convince herself
it was any number of other things.
562
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:15,160
And you can't tell till you know
to look. She's hardly showing.
563
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,680
So it's too late to...?
564
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:21,360
Five months too late.
565
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,440
I've made her an appointment
at the surgery.
566
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,160
I'm driving her down
in half an hour.
567
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,160
And...is it definitely his?
568
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,080
He is convinced that it's his.
569
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:38,720
But you're not to get upset.
570
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,880
Whatever's happened,
we'll sort it.
571
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,960
What's the plan?
572
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,520
The plan.
573
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,120
Well...
574
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,120
He's not leaving school.
I've told him.
575
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,760
He's a bright lad,
he's going places.
576
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,040
I'll do what I can for 'em, but...
577
00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:00,040
I've told them in words of one
syllable, I am not a nanny.
578
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,560
That's two syllables.
579
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,960
I'm not made of money.
580
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,920
What about her parents?
581
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,720
They obviously think our Raff's
not good enough for her.
582
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:11,800
Which is interesting,
583
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,040
cos frankly I'd have said it was
the other way round.
584
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,520
Did he not take precautions?
585
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,640
These are the wrong questions, Dad!
586
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:21,640
The time has passed.
587
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,080
She's inside.
588
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:26,360
Raff's gone to school.
589
00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:30,080
D'you want to come and say hello?
590
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,280
Ellie. This is Raff's grandad.
591
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,200
Hello, love. Alan.
592
00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:45,720
And this is Celia.
593
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,360
My wife. Celia.
594
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,080
I've just had a bath.
595
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,880
Congratulations.
596
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:52,840
I think it was a bit hot.
597
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:56,560
I think I'm having like...
contractions.
598
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,520
Oh, heck!
599
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,080
We'll get her up to the hospital.
600
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:02,920
You go pick Raff up from school.
601
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,840
It's a mess, that's what this is.
602
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,400
A right total fff...sodding mess.
603
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,120
Yeah, I know, I know,
all right. I know!
604
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,600
And how do we know it's yours?
Really, eh?
605
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,080
We've been through this.
I told you, I know the night.
606
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,440
No, come on, maths -
if she's only eight months,
607
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,720
why's she gone into labour now?
It's early!
608
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,720
You so want to believe it,
don't you?
609
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,000
She probably isn't even
eight months, size of her!
610
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,840
She's never slept with anyone else.
She says. Yes. She says.
611
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,520
Happen you better ring
her mum and dad.
612
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:41,960
I'm not ringing her mum and dad.
613
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,120
Oh, well, that's grown up.
They hate me.
614
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,240
Well, they need to know, they need
to share some of the responsibility,
615
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,520
she's their daughter,
that'll be their grandchild.
616
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:51,400
Unequivocally, theirs.
617
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,320
Whereas I don't have the luxury
of such certain knowledge.
618
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,640
She wouldn't lie! Why would she lie?
619
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,640
Because she knows she can
rely on you, you pillock!
620
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,240
Cos you're
so bloody smitten with her!
621
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,680
So I'm reliable! And that's bad...
why?
622
00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:08,600
Because you've got your whole life
ahead of you! You've got choices!
623
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:11,240
What choices will you have if
you're saddled with a baby at 17?
624
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,360
And it's not even yours! For sure.
625
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:18,120
She dumped you for this other lad,
who else has she been...
626
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,920
wriggling around with, eh?
627
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,040
No-one.
628
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,560
God, you're naive.
629
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,240
Yeah, and you're
a dirty-minded old cow.
630
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:29,440
I beg your pardon?
631
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:30,720
Didn't say owt.
632
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,040
You haven't to stress your grandad.
I'm not stressing me grandad!
633
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,400
If anyone'll be stressing me grandad
with shouting, it's you!
634
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,080
WOMAN: You're doing what?
635
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,080
Delivering babies.
636
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:53,720
Well, a baby.
637
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:58,760
Unless it's twins, which I'd be
very surprised, size of her.
638
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,160
Well... Why're you...?
What're you... ? Whose is it?
639
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,560
That's the $64 million question.
640
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,120
Shall we start at the beginning?
641
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:12,640
Well, surprise, surprise,
it turns out Raff's a bit of a...
642
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:16,320
muck lump just like his mother.
And... You know what?
643
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:20,080
She insisted on Alan
racing over here.
644
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,680
She'll be wanting to tap money
off him.
645
00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:26,320
They're already hard up,
and now with a baby on the way.
646
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:27,760
Sorry, so...?
647
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:31,480
Raff's put his girlfriend
in the pudding club.
648
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:34,840
And she's not dared tell anyone
until it's too late,
649
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:36,640
and she's just gone into labour.
650
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:40,240
Just now, just this morning,
that's why we're here.
651
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,000
But you needn't worry, love.
On the money front.
652
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,560
I'll not be taken in.
653
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,680
Did you talk to Kate?
654
00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:49,840
Oh, yeah.
655
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:51,720
Yeah. Yeah.
656
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,240
And...? Is she on board?
657
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:58,280
In... Yeah, theory.
You don't sound convinced.
658
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,480
No, she's... Obviously
it's a big thing to ask.
659
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,640
Don't take this the wrong way...
What?
660
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,320
Isn't it a bit soon?
661
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,200
To be asking her to buy a house
with you?
662
00:38:13,240 --> 00:38:17,680
I know you're very fond of her, and
I'm not saying anything about that.
663
00:38:17,720 --> 00:38:19,600
But you've only been together
five minutes.
664
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,480
I can't sell that house.
665
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:30,320
Oh, I'll have to go, love.
I'll talk to you later, bye.
666
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,920
Where is she?
667
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,400
They're through here.
668
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,600
He'll be here any minute.
669
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:48,680
Sorry, what was your name again?
670
00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:51,920
Alan! I'm Grandad. Apparently.
671
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,240
Deep! Really inhale it.
672
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,600
Great-grandad.
673
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:58,800
Sorry?
674
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,720
Great-grandad.
Won't you be its great-grandad?
675
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,200
Oh, aye.
676
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:06,880
It's one of these.
677
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,800
Are you looking for someone?
Ellie. Ellie Weaver.
678
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,160
Just down here.
679
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:16,520
I don't want a baby.
680
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,360
I'm too young to have a baby.
681
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,440
I don't even know
what you do with babies.
682
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:24,200
You'll work it out soon enough.
683
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:25,960
What if I don't like it?
684
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,960
What if it's got something wrong
with it?
685
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,040
What if it's got more than one head?
686
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,880
Well, there's no sending 'em back.
It won't have.
687
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:38,200
Why haven't we evolved better?
This is medieval.
688
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:41,360
I'm going to be split in two,
I'm going to die. No you're not.
689
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,600
I'm not ready for this,
I'm not even here.
690
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,920
You're going to be absolutely fine.
691
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,080
Did you two get married yesterday?
692
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,000
We did, yes.
693
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,640
And not tell anyone?
694
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:56,200
That's right.
695
00:39:56,240 --> 00:39:57,240
Why?
696
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:02,280
Just...to be different, really.
Romantic.
697
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:03,560
And was it?
698
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:05,880
Well...
699
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:10,920
MAN: Everybody happy.
700
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,240
Say cheese!
701
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:19,160
..it was memorable.
702
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:22,840
Now who've we got?
703
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,080
Ah, this is my grandson.
This is so weird.
704
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:27,640
And you're the father?
705
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,560
Yeah. You all right?
706
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:30,880
And I'm his mother.
707
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,960
I'm not really comfortable with
the fact that this is happening.
708
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,120
In fact, I'm inclined to suggest
that it isn't.
709
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:41,520
I am firmly of the opinion
that I'm not really here.
710
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,560
She's been at the Entonox.
711
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:48,280
Right, so, she's between three
and four centimetres dilated.
712
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:52,360
It's going to be good few hours
before the fun really starts, so...
713
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:56,120
I'm not actually her mother.
Her mother isn't actually here.
714
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:58,440
Ellie?
715
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:04,200
Have you rung your mum?
716
00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:05,640
No.
717
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,880
D'you think you should?
718
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,920
Because if you don't, I will.
719
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,960
The night Caroline was born,
I lost three pints of blood.
720
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,440
I nearly died. Did you? Mm-hm.
721
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,680
I could feel myself
going down this tunnel.
722
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:37,920
Odd thing was, I didn't mind.
723
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:40,800
I just thought...
724
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,240
"So this is it,
this is what it's like."
725
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,360
And I nearly got to the end.
726
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,560
And then it got slower,
and slower.
727
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,920
I realised I was going backwards.
Back the way I'd come.
728
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,480
And that must've been when
they gave me the blood transfusion.
729
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,600
D'you think it is his? Raff's?
730
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:10,080
They were at a party. I asked him.
They'd been drinking.
731
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,680
Malibu or something. And....
732
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,880
I think they're genuinely
very fond of each other.
733
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:24,960
They're the same age we were
that day when you asked me out at
734
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,640
the top of Elizabeth Street in 1953.
735
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:29,200
D'you remember?
736
00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:32,960
I'd just started at Jessops.
I had a new suit.
737
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,760
You'd just started at Co-op.
738
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,040
God.
739
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:41,360
We'd have never carried on
like that at that age, would we?
740
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,120
No. But they do now. So...
741
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:47,000
People had more self-respect.
742
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:52,720
Well, we hadn't had the benefit
of the swinging '60s in 1953, had we?
743
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:55,160
You're not going to make out
like it's a good thing.
744
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,280
I'm very good with babies.
745
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,600
I'm sure you are.
746
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,840
They tend to like me.
I don't know why.
747
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,680
They can probably sense
you're as daft as they are.
748
00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:11,040
Yes. That'll be it.
749
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,560
I never thought I'd live to be
a great-grandad.
750
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,120
Well...
751
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:25,080
We're not entirely sure
that you are one yet. Are we?
752
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:26,720
I'd have to help 'em out.
753
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,240
In the money department.
754
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:31,360
If that's what's needed.
You know that, don't you?
755
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,920
I'm not having that lad
leaving school,
756
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:37,320
he could get in at a university,
the way he's heading.
757
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,240
Well, OK.
758
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:46,320
Just as long as you know that
I can't see Caroline short either.
759
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:47,840
Over this house business.
760
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,280
How's it going?
761
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,200
Slowly.
762
00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:54,520
Poor kid, she's terrified.
763
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:56,040
I can't get hold of her mum and dad.
764
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,760
I've left messages to ring me
on both their mobiles,
765
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,200
and their landline, and nothing.
766
00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:02,560
What's up with 'em?
767
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:06,920
They're probably in shock,
aren't they?
768
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,440
Same as everybody else.
769
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:12,560
Still, you'd not think they'd
turn their back on her, would you?
770
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,960
Perhaps they're Christians.
771
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,920
Listen, I've got stuff
to see to at home,
772
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:20,040
I haven't fed stock in lower field,
it won't take me long.
773
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,360
Can you hang about here?
Just for a couple of hours?
774
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,040
Just until I get back?
775
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,520
Just in case Raff
needs a bit of support.
776
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:27,560
Can we?
777
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:32,280
I don't think he believes it's
happening either. Course we can.
778
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,880
I let myself in.
What's all this?
779
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,840
I've collected some of my stuff
from the house.
780
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:49,000
I'm going to look at getting a flat
near the university.
781
00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:54,680
What happened to digging your
heels in and pissing her off?
782
00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:56,880
They've dropped me,
Kershaw and Whittle.
783
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:59,240
Francis Hilliard sent me
an e-mail last week.
784
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:00,600
They've...?
785
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,040
I don't know why I'm that surprised.
786
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,080
It's been obvious for ages
that you've lost it.
787
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,000
What're you talking about?
788
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,280
I don't even know
if you ever really had it.
789
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,120
"Had it." What?
790
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,240
That fire. That real passion.
791
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,760
I think you were just lucky
for a while.
792
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,400
You have no idea. You know...
793
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,920
the trouble with you is that you've
never really lived life on the edge.
794
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,520
Have you? You've never really
taken a risk with anything.
795
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:30,240
You've never really dared to do
anything properly dangerous.
796
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:31,320
You just...
797
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:35,720
You just fiddle-faddle around near
the boundaries a bit, don't you?
798
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:39,440
Pretending. But you never actually
push them like a real writer.
799
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,480
You're terrified.
800
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,760
Given the choice,
if she'd have you back,
801
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:47,320
you'd go crawling back to Caroline,
wouldn't you?
802
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,120
With your tail between your knees.
803
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,320
What do you want, John?
What do you really, really want?
804
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,040
You don't have to answer that,
805
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:58,120
I'm not really interested.
806
00:45:58,160 --> 00:45:59,480
But whatever it is,
807
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:03,120
can you piss off out of my flat
and chase after it
808
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,200
for once in your life?
809
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:07,720
Instead of just clinging on to
what's familiar.
810
00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:21,200
Do they snog? I don't know.
811
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:23,800
Do they do sex?
812
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:26,920
I don't know.
813
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,000
Why don't you
go and live with your dad
814
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,840
if Miss McKenzie's going to start
telling the boss fibs about you?
815
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,000
I might do.
816
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,760
Like I say, if you think
it's a non-starter, then I...
817
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,400
I mean, I do know it's a minefield.
818
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:50,080
I do know that you might not want to
go through all that again.
819
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:53,480
And certainly not with a child
that isn't... But it would be yours,
820
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,840
is the point, ours.
821
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,600
How? I mean, how would...?
822
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:03,440
Oh, well, obviously a donor. Who?
823
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:07,920
OK, so, there's this person
I was at university with.
824
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:13,200
And ever since I've not been married
to Richard any more, I've often...
825
00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:17,120
occasionally thought that if I ever
did manage to have a baby,
826
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:20,240
he's someone I would ask, possibly.
827
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,760
Who is he?
828
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,280
He's called Greg.
829
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,840
And I went out with him for a bit
when we were at Durham.
830
00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:32,280
We slept together, is the point,
831
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:37,520
so he's nice, he's clever, he's good,
he's a really good person.
832
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,880
He's... That's why I thought of him.
833
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,680
He's like you.
He's one of the grown-ups.
834
00:47:42,720 --> 00:47:44,280
Why didn't you marry him?
835
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:45,480
Will you meet him?
836
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,520
I'm not part of the equation.
837
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:50,760
No! No. God, Caroline.
838
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,120
The only people
who are part of the equation
839
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,000
are you and me and the baby.
840
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:57,640
So...
841
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:00,440
OK, so, have you...
842
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,520
done any research as regards...?
843
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:04,960
We could go down the medical route.
Which is...?
844
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,960
Complicated. Lengthy.
And the thing is...
845
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:12,640
because I have slept with him before,
300 years ago,
846
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,360
we could just do it.
847
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,200
I mean, he might not agree
to any of this.
848
00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:24,080
I think he probably would.
849
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,960
He's not married, he has been,
850
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,520
and apparently that is the best way
of getting pregnant
851
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:31,360
rather than any sort of artificial...
852
00:48:32,720 --> 00:48:35,240
Has he got children
from his marriage? No.
853
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:37,480
Is he firing blanks? Oh.
854
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:38,680
Does he want children?
855
00:48:38,720 --> 00:48:41,760
I don't... It's not really about
whether he wants children, is it?
856
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:43,720
It's more about whether he's willing.
857
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:46,320
Why did his marriage break down?
I don't know the ins and outs.
858
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,360
He's obviously someone
you keep in touch with.
859
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:50,920
Yeah. Christmas cards.
When we still did Christmas cards.
860
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:52,920
Now it's just the odd e-mail. When?
861
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,280
When his marriage broke down.
When mine did.
862
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:56,400
He knows about you.
863
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:01,800
I need to meet him. You will!
864
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,200
And this is all...
865
00:49:04,720 --> 00:49:06,960
I've not discussed it with him.
He might just say no.
866
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:09,640
Maybe I shouldn't meet him.
867
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:13,240
It so isn't about him. No. It is.
868
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:16,760
I don't want you getting sperm
from just anywhere. No, course.
869
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,320
Do we know anyone else? No.
870
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,280
Why didn't you and Richard?
871
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:28,000
We did. Four times.
872
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:29,120
I lost them all.
873
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:32,560
I didn't know that.
874
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,280
I never got beyond 12 weeks.
875
00:49:36,720 --> 00:49:38,040
Oh, God.
876
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:40,720
Oh, I'm sorry.
877
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:45,680
Caroline, if you think
it's a daft idea, just say...
878
00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:47,720
I don't think it's a daft idea.
879
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:50,040
You've obviously...
880
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,560
thought about it a lot
and it obviously means a lot.
881
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:58,640
I mean, it's fundamental, babies,
isn't it?
882
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:01,240
Who am I to say no,
it's your life, it's your body.
883
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,520
no, I know. It is, but...
884
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,440
I wouldn't want to do it on my own.
No.
885
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:11,520
We would be talking sleepless nights
and nappies.
886
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:14,120
And years of angst
and teenage tantrums.
887
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:15,240
Oh, I can do all of that.
888
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,800
You're 46. It's not really what you'd
planned to do next, is it, babies?
889
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:21,840
No.
890
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:28,240
I wonder how my mother's getting on?
891
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,960
She was delivering a baby last time
I spoke to her.
892
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,600
Your mother was delivering a baby.
893
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:35,520
Well, she said she was.
894
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,040
Whose?
895
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:41,640
Is there anything
that woman doesn't get up to?
896
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:43,600
Somebody else'll be doing
all the hard work.
897
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,400
She'll just be standing
near the door making droll comments.
898
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,320
I think we're ready
to start pushing, Ellie!
899
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:49,440
PHONE BEEPS
900
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:51,520
Can you turn that off, please?
I'm sorry.
901
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:53,600
Can you feel the contraction coming?
Yeah!
902
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:54,960
Right, well, I want you to push.
903
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,360
I'm sorry, I'm going
to have to sit down.
904
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:03,320
Perhaps you could take Raff out into
the corridor for a few minutes.
905
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:04,760
Come on, lad.
906
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:08,080
What about me?
Grandad's still here.
907
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:12,040
It's all right, love!
You're doing very well.
908
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:14,400
Put your head between your knees.
909
00:51:15,720 --> 00:51:19,400
I should be able to do this,
I can deliver lambs, no problem.
910
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:26,560
SHE SCREAMS
911
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:32,240
Would you like a mint imperial?
912
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:36,880
I want a thing!
I want an injection!
913
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:38,920
I want painkillers!
I want everything!
914
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,080
I think it'd be better
if you can do it without.
915
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:42,880
Keep pushing, love. Keep pushing!
916
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,040
Yeah, you just keep squeezing
Grandad's hand.
917
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:46,560
He's not me grandad!
918
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,760
No, I know I'm not,
but I don't mind, we can pretend.
919
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:51,520
I want my grandad.
920
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,480
Well, I can ring him
if you think he'll answer his phone.
921
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:56,240
Look in my phone book.
922
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:59,840
You'll have to go out
into the corridor to make that call.
923
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:01,160
What's it under?
924
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,560
Grandad! What do you think?
925
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:04,920
Good, it makes sense.
926
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,800
And what's his name?
927
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:08,920
Harry. Harry Wallace.
928
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:12,160
Harry Wallace is your grandad?!
929
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:13,680
What's up with that?
930
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:15,320
Nothing. We're...
931
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,720
Hurry up! Get him rung!
932
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,080
Hello?
933
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:36,480
Gillian.
934
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaking.
935
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:39,480
How's things? Why?
936
00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:42,920
Just wanted to
run something past you.
937
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:44,320
Quickly.
938
00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:49,400
OK. Well. I know you said
you're seeing Robbie.
939
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:51,280
But frankly...I think you and me
940
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:53,680
both know that's just a disaster
waiting to happen.
941
00:52:53,720 --> 00:52:55,040
Really? Really.
942
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,400
You also indicated that you were
in need of some sort of investment...
943
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:00,760
in the farm.
944
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,880
Your publisher's just dumped you,
I'm not thick.
945
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:07,040
Caroline wants to buy
my half of the house.
946
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,040
I think we'll be looking at...
947
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,760
400, 450,000. Cash.
948
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:16,160
You think you can just buy me?
949
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:17,640
No. I just thought...
950
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:22,720
Are you doing anything this weekend?
951
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:27,080
What did y'have in mind?
952
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:28,920
Anything. All sorts.
953
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,560
Can we have this conversation later?
954
00:54:02,240 --> 00:54:05,400
What are you doing here?
It's a girl. Six pound, three ounces.
955
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:06,440
Did you know?
956
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:09,680
Ellie's my grandaughter. This is
her mum, my daughter, Yvonne.
957
00:54:09,720 --> 00:54:11,440
Yvonne, Gillian.
958
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:12,520
I've been ringing you.
959
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,040
We had no idea. We didn't even
know that she was pregnant.
960
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,440
She said you'd chucked her out.
She never even told us!
961
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:20,280
Did you not get my messages? I've
been in meetings all day at work,
962
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:22,480
I only got wind of it
when Dad phoned my secretary.
963
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:23,800
Alastair's going to go mad,
964
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:25,880
he's going
to go through the bloody ceiling.
965
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,680
Has your son never heard of condoms?
Eh, don't you start on my son.
966
00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:31,720
What's your daughter doing putting
it about so much? Now, steady on.
967
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:34,200
We don't even know it is Raff's.
Keep calm. And you an' all.
968
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:38,320
So...it's a girl?
969
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,200
They're just giving her
a few stitches, Ellie,
970
00:54:42,240 --> 00:54:44,440
then we can go and have a look.
971
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:49,040
PHONE BEEPS
972
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:04,920
Yeah, but it's a bit interesting
that she did lie, isn't it?
973
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:07,120
Don't you make judgement about me,
about my family.
974
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:09,320
Nobody's making judgement, love.
I'm just saying.
975
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:11,880
It's a bit interesting
that she couldn't tell her own mum.
976
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:14,920
Are you listening to this? Dad!
I'm staying out of it.
977
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:22,040
Well, we've got married
and had a baby in just 48 hours.
978
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,760
We're on fire.
We're cooking with gas.
979
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:26,520
There's no stopping us.
980
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,680
You're...
981
00:55:37,720 --> 00:55:40,080
It's poisonous
saying something like that,
982
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,080
you don't even know us,
you don't know me.
983
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:43,920
You know she doesn't like you.
984
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,600
Shit-stirrer.
Don't you dare!
985
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,840
Oh, they know it all, don't they?
986
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:51,080
Except how to avoid
getting pregnant.
987
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:54,120
I want to be somebody's mum.
988
00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:57,960
It's true, she does want a baby.
How?
989
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:01,400
It's going to get very confused
about who its mother is.
990
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:04,560
Ambulance.
991
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:28,760
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