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1
00:00:03,585 --> 00:00:09,121
This programme contains strong
language and some violent scenes
2
00:00:55,016 --> 00:00:56,950
Hello?
3
00:01:05,136 --> 00:01:08,230
- Hello?!
- Hello?!
4
00:01:10,095 --> 00:01:11,340
There's an ech0.
5
00:01:11,365 --> 00:01:12,871
I tve just arrived.
6
00:01:12,896 --> 00:01:14,780
I've just arrived. Hold on.
7
00:01:15,965 --> 00:01:17,991
How did my ech0 get here before me?
8
00:01:18,016 --> 00:01:19,670
Arlo, turn around.
9
00:01:21,245 --> 00:01:24,020
Collie! It's you!
10
00:01:24,045 --> 00:01:27,470
I got them things you wanted
for the sandwiches.
11
00:01:27,495 --> 00:01:30,340
Do you mind if I make one now?
I'm absolutely Hank Marvin.
12
00:01:30,365 --> 00:01:33,380
No! You can wait
until the 0thers get here.
13
00:01:33,405 --> 00:01:34,760
What did you buy?
14
00:01:34,785 --> 00:01:38,380
Pulled pork, pressed tongue,
and a hot and spicy whip.
15
00:01:38,405 --> 00:01:40,580
That sounds disgusting!
16
00:01:40,605 --> 00:01:42,910
You said you wanted
an S&M selection.
17
00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:45,760
I said an M&S select...!
18
00:01:45,785 --> 00:01:47,360
Never mind.
19
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:27,861
What are you doing?
Wetre not in slow motion any more.
20
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,470
Sorry.
21
00:02:29,495 --> 00:02:32,100
The boss is here. He wants help
bringing the hardware in
22
00:02:32,125 --> 00:02:34,150
from the car.
23
00:02:34,175 --> 00:02:37,020
But I've just made mese♪ a tea!
Arlokin0.
24
00:02:42,045 --> 00:02:44,420
So, if you haventt already guessed,
25
00:02:44,445 --> 00:02:47,020
itts a sort of cross between
commedia delltarte
26
00:02:47,045 --> 00:02:50,150
and a heist movie.
I guess because they both use masks.
27
00:02:50,175 --> 00:02:52,190
Which is quite clever, in a way,
28
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:55,190
but still sounds like something
a drama teachertd have a wank to.
29
00:02:55,215 --> 00:02:57,270
But, hey, itts series six,
30
00:02:57,295 --> 00:02:59,741
youtve got to allow for a certain
artistic exhaustion.
31
00:02:59,766 --> 00:03:00,800
Columbina.
32
00:03:00,825 --> 00:03:03,160
God, here comes the subplot.
33
00:03:03,185 --> 00:03:05,871
Just stick with me on these bits
and wetll get through them
34
00:03:05,896 --> 00:03:08,670
as quickly as possible.
Columbina, you've got to help me.
35
00:03:08,695 --> 00:03:11,360
My daddy wants me
to marry his friend, the Captain,
36
00:03:11,385 --> 00:03:13,190
who I've never even met.
37
00:03:13,215 --> 00:03:15,360
But I have my heart set on another.
38
00:03:15,385 --> 00:03:18,070
It's s0 unfair! Surely, Miss,
your father has 0ther things
39
00:03:18,095 --> 00:03:21,430
on his mind today.
Like, 12 million 0ther things.
40
00:03:21,455 --> 00:03:25,560
Because the diamonds we're stealing
are worth ♪'2 million?
41
00:03:26,735 --> 00:03:28,550
Yes. Thatts...
42
00:03:30,125 --> 00:03:31,670
Yes.
43
00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:33,070
So, hets not going to have time
44
00:03:33,095 --> 00:03:34,950
to be thinking about
marriage prop0sals.
45
00:03:34,975 --> 00:03:37,380
No, that's exact♪ why he is!
46
00:03:37,405 --> 00:03:39,590
If everything goes
according to plan,
47
00:03:39,615 --> 00:03:42,470
then the Captain'll be rich
beyond his wildest dreams.
48
00:03:42,495 --> 00:03:45,741
Then my father will have n0 need
to provide a dowry for me.
49
00:03:45,766 --> 00:03:48,020
He can keep all his 0wn
earnings to himse♪.
50
00:03:48,045 --> 00:03:50,720
Itts nearly finished.
He's being driven by greed
51
00:03:50,745 --> 00:03:53,710
and not by my 0wn wishes of who
I want to marry.
52
00:03:53,735 --> 00:03:55,380
But, Madam, what can I do?
53
00:03:55,405 --> 00:03:58,350
I am just a lowly housemaid
in this 0rganisation.
54
00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:01,380
I've written a letter to my true
beloved, explaining my plight.
55
00:04:01,405 --> 00:04:04,861
Please see that he gets it
before the end of the job today.
56
00:04:04,886 --> 00:04:06,920
You want me to give this
letter to the Doctorts...
57
00:04:06,945 --> 00:04:09,720
Yes! Yes, please.
And not a word to my father.
58
00:04:12,465 --> 00:04:15,670
I guess wetre just pretending that
WhatsApps and emails dontt exist.
59
00:04:15,695 --> 00:04:19,310
Still, I tll give her letter to
the Doctorts son, Mari0.
60
00:04:19,335 --> 00:04:21,960
Hets thick as shit, but fit as fuck!
61
00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:25,030
Columbina, stop Fleabaggin'
and make me a cup of splosh.
62
00:04:25,055 --> 00:04:27,140
Yes, Master. Right away.
63
00:04:27,165 --> 00:04:29,991
And I wasntt Fleabagging,
I was Miranda - ing.
64
00:04:30,016 --> 00:04:32,110
Such fun. Ooh!
65
00:04:33,495 --> 00:04:36,230
Careful with that,
you clumsy cumwad!
66
00:04:36,255 --> 00:04:38,470
There's enough TNT in 'ere
to blow both your tiny
67
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,550
fucking brain cells out.
68
00:04:40,575 --> 00:04:44,830
Now, did you bring
the Glock like I asked ya?
69
00:04:44,855 --> 00:04:46,280
No.
70
00:04:46,305 --> 00:04:49,820
But I did wind my watch up this
morning, even though it's digital.
71
00:04:49,845 --> 00:04:51,720
No, your Glock, your pistol!
72
00:04:51,745 --> 00:04:53,390
You mean this?
73
00:04:54,825 --> 00:04:56,590
Don't point it at me.
74
00:04:56,615 --> 00:04:58,100
It's all right, safety's on.
75
00:04:58,125 --> 00:04:59,640
GUN Fl RES, HE STARTS
76
00:05:02,255 --> 00:05:03,670
My bad.
77
00:05:10,055 --> 00:05:11,230
HE SNl FFS
78
00:05:11,255 --> 00:05:14,390
My nose tel♪ me
this is the place.
79
00:05:24,055 --> 00:05:26,360
Allow me to introduce myse♪.
80
00:05:26,385 --> 00:05:29,460
I am Il Capitan0.
81
00:05:29,485 --> 00:05:33,540
I'm sorry that you're il♪ but my
name's not Capitan0, it's Hortensia.
82
00:05:33,565 --> 00:05:35,110
Yes.
83
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:40,460
The Hor-tensia, daughter of my
esteemed friend Senor Pantalone.
84
00:05:40,485 --> 00:05:43,230
But I'm sure you've
heard of me by reputation.
85
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,230
I am Scaramouche.
86
00:05:45,255 --> 00:05:48,910
Scaramouche? Will you do the...
87
00:05:48,935 --> 00:05:51,440
What happened there?
We couldntt afford the copyright.
88
00:05:51,465 --> 00:05:53,460
That's a shame.
89
00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:56,510
You're the man that my father
wants me to marry?!
90
00:05:56,535 --> 00:05:59,390
Un-a-til a-now I had been
a-deaf to your beauty
91
00:05:59,415 --> 00:06:02,110
and blind to-a your voice, dumb to
your scent
92
00:06:02,135 --> 00:06:03,881
and mute to-a your caress.
93
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:08,070
I hope to wrong that a-right over
the course of this segment.
94
00:06:08,095 --> 00:06:13,360
So, what's your role in this job,
Captain? Surveillance? Security?
95
00:06:13,385 --> 00:06:17,950
I am international
authority on booming.
96
00:06:17,975 --> 00:06:20,040
B00ming? Si, si.
97
00:06:20,065 --> 00:06:23,871
Because of my b00ming skil♪,
I can a-smash my way in anywhere.
98
00:06:23,896 --> 00:06:26,470
Will you excuse me?
I just need the bathr00m.
99
00:06:30,135 --> 00:06:32,680
She is sick with love.
100
00:06:32,705 --> 00:06:37,180
Hortensia, Hortensia,
don't a-leave me on the fence-ia!
101
00:06:37,205 --> 00:06:39,380
My feelings don't a-make sense-ia.
102
00:06:39,405 --> 00:06:41,160
I hope it's not dementia.
103
00:06:41,185 --> 00:06:44,001
Oi, Scaramouche.
Senor Pantalone.
104
00:06:44,026 --> 00:06:45,900
Some gelignite here for you
to take a l00k at.
105
00:06:45,925 --> 00:06:48,230
I have already eaten,
but I thank you.
106
00:06:48,255 --> 00:06:50,400
No, it's fucking dynamite!
107
00:06:50,425 --> 00:06:52,030
Maybe a small bow♪ then.
108
00:06:56,285 --> 00:07:00,240
Right, the Doctorts going to be here
any minute. How do you know?
109
00:07:00,265 --> 00:07:03,720
Because I accidentally turned over
tw0 pages of the script at 0nce.
110
00:07:03,745 --> 00:07:06,260
Look, if you do me a favour,
I tll let you have a sandwich.
111
00:07:06,285 --> 00:07:09,080
What flavour? What flavour favour?
112
00:07:09,105 --> 00:07:11,470
What flavour sandwich?
Whatever you want.
113
00:07:11,495 --> 00:07:14,030
I 'd like a lovely slice of ham.
114
00:07:14,055 --> 00:07:15,190
Lean?
115
00:07:16,695 --> 00:07:18,670
I 'd like a lovely slice of ham.
116
00:07:18,695 --> 00:07:21,830
I bet youtre loving this on the
C00ktd and Bombtd forum, arentt you?
117
00:07:21,855 --> 00:07:25,950
Look, just give this love letter
to the Doctorts son, Mari0.
118
00:07:25,975 --> 00:07:28,360
Hetll know who itts from.
Understand?
119
00:07:28,385 --> 00:07:30,631
The scholar says, " Plethora,"
and the widow says,
120
00:07:30,656 --> 00:07:32,520
"Thanks, that means a lot."
121
00:07:32,545 --> 00:07:35,160
And now hets just turned over
tw0 pages at 0nce.
122
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,520
It would appear this is
the place, Mario.
123
00:07:46,545 --> 00:07:49,540
Somewhat insalubrious,
yet suitab♪ clandestine.
124
00:07:49,565 --> 00:07:52,550
The very sine qua non of a
gangster's hideaway, n'est-ce pas?
125
00:07:52,575 --> 00:07:54,110
Itts a shithole.
126
00:07:54,135 --> 00:07:55,240
I ndeed.
127
00:07:55,265 --> 00:07:57,950
And, yet, its crepuscular
corners will allow us
128
00:07:57,975 --> 00:08:02,110
to dupe the 0ld man and his cronies
with our pseudo sparklers.
129
00:08:02,135 --> 00:08:04,310
You have them stil ♪
130
00:08:06,335 --> 00:08:09,270
You mean the fake diamonds?
Yes, yes! Lower your voice!
131
00:08:09,295 --> 00:08:11,310
You mean the fake diamonds?
Mario!
132
00:08:11,335 --> 00:08:14,067
Yes, I tve shoved them down
the front of my trousers. Good.
133
00:08:14,092 --> 00:08:17,202
It's important to have
a little circumspection.
134
00:08:17,227 --> 00:08:19,612
I think I might
if I bend over t00 quickly.
135
00:08:21,547 --> 00:08:24,492
When the time is right,
we will switch the bona fide jewe ♪
136
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:27,212
with the paste 0nes and n0-one
will be any the wiser. Capiche?
137
00:08:27,237 --> 00:08:29,972
Whatever you say, pops.
As long as n0-one gets hurt.
138
00:08:29,997 --> 00:08:32,912
You know you cantt stand the sight
of bl00d. Yes. Well ceded.
139
00:08:32,937 --> 00:08:36,992
Arlokin0! You made me
a ham sandwich. How kind.
140
00:08:38,437 --> 00:08:41,322
Do we have a quorum?
141
00:08:41,347 --> 00:08:43,132
I speak a little Latin, you know.
142
00:08:43,157 --> 00:08:47,052
That reminds me -
a scholar goes to a funeral
143
00:08:47,077 --> 00:08:48,922
and asks the widow...
No, no, no, no.
144
00:08:48,947 --> 00:08:51,002
You've done this bit already.
Excuse me.
145
00:08:53,557 --> 00:08:55,773
I have something for you, t00,
Master Mari0.
146
00:08:55,798 --> 00:08:58,202
It's from the subplot,
s0 it might not be that important.
147
00:08:58,227 --> 00:08:59,442
Cool.
148
00:09:01,187 --> 00:09:03,412
It's an epistle
from a secret admirer.
149
00:09:03,437 --> 00:09:05,482
Apparently you'll know
who it's from.
150
00:09:19,637 --> 00:09:21,492
I think I do.
151
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:23,492
Thanks, Arlo.
152
00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:26,282
All right. Gentlemen, ladies,
gather round.
153
00:09:26,307 --> 00:09:29,202
Grab yourselves a seat.
We need to get on with the briefing.
154
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:41,442
Please.
155
00:10:42,587 --> 00:10:44,002
Continue.
156
00:10:46,717 --> 00:10:50,332
Right. Now, you all know your roles,
but, for the benefit of them
157
00:10:50,357 --> 00:10:52,922
who are watching on BBC Tw0,
I'm going to go through it again.
158
00:10:52,947 --> 00:10:54,802
And I player. What?
159
00:10:54,827 --> 00:10:57,643
Some people could be
watching on I Player.
160
00:10:57,668 --> 00:11:01,362
All right. For them what are
watching on any BBC platform...
161
00:11:01,387 --> 00:11:04,182
Or in 0ther countries,
doesn't have to be BBC.
162
00:11:04,207 --> 00:11:07,653
They have it in Spain, don't they?
Yeah. Spain, Australia.
163
00:11:07,678 --> 00:11:10,292
It's very big in China, apparent♪.
All right, for fuck's sake!
164
00:11:10,317 --> 00:11:13,492
Wherever people are watching it,
we need to do a recap!
165
00:11:13,517 --> 00:11:18,002
Now, the van with the diamonds
leaves Hatton Garden roundabout
166
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:21,412
at 3pm precisely...
167
00:11:21,437 --> 00:11:25,492
and heads down Greville Street
towards Farringdon.
168
00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:28,972
Mari0, Scaramouche,
you pull the barrier across
169
00:11:28,997 --> 00:11:30,982
just west of Saffron Hill.
170
00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:33,852
Er, you're aware of the CCTV...
171
00:11:33,877 --> 00:11:35,802
Si, si. TV.
172
00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:39,492
Now, you understand
where it extends to.
173
00:11:39,517 --> 00:11:43,132
It extends int0 the kitchen,
but the reception is not-a s0 g00d.
174
00:11:43,157 --> 00:11:46,402
Jesus! Mari0, you know
about the CCTV, don't ya?
175
00:11:46,427 --> 00:11:48,172
Sure. Go0d.
176
00:11:48,197 --> 00:11:51,062
Itts like CBeebies, but slightly
more complicated programmes.
177
00:11:52,027 --> 00:11:54,643
What? I'm not sure the Chinese
are going to get that reference.
178
00:11:54,668 --> 00:11:56,702
You need to say something like...
179
00:11:58,757 --> 00:12:01,572
Itts pretty universal...
Shut the fuck up the lot of ya!
180
00:12:03,237 --> 00:12:06,692
I will not stand here
and be made to l00k like a prick!
181
00:12:11,717 --> 00:12:13,252
You think I'm joking?
182
00:12:14,678 --> 00:12:16,412
Boss!
183
00:12:16,437 --> 00:12:18,132
Can I suggest we do a montage?
184
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:22,903
Yes.
185
00:12:22,928 --> 00:12:25,842
Yes. Thank you, Columbina.
186
00:12:25,867 --> 00:12:27,533
Finally, someone talking sense.
187
00:12:29,747 --> 00:12:31,643
You can do the voiceover.
188
00:12:33,437 --> 00:12:38,132
At 3:02, the van, driven
by a single security guard,
189
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:41,442
parks up outside
Mugshots Coffee shop.
190
00:12:41,467 --> 00:12:45,412
The guard gets out as usual
to 0rder a flat white.
191
00:12:45,437 --> 00:12:46,852
COFFEE MACHl NE HISSES
192
00:12:46,877 --> 00:12:49,262
Hortensia is behind him in the queue
193
00:12:49,287 --> 00:12:52,052
and bumps into the guard,
creating a distraction.
194
00:12:52,077 --> 00:12:54,082
So I can swap his coffee...
195
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,932
for the drugged one.
196
00:12:58,827 --> 00:13:02,052
Meanwhile, Mario and the Captain
have closed the road
197
00:13:02,077 --> 00:13:05,682
for an electrical repair,
keeping the area free of traffic.
198
00:13:07,107 --> 00:13:09,162
Arlo distracts the driver...
199
00:13:10,678 --> 00:13:14,523
while Scaramouche applies the
explosives to the top of the van.
200
00:13:17,808 --> 00:13:21,442
The guard takes his first sip of
coffee while we get int0 position.
201
00:13:22,558 --> 00:13:24,332
Then, five seconds later...
202
00:13:40,678 --> 00:13:43,812
You were 0nly supposed to blow
the bl00dy d00rs 0ff!
203
00:13:43,837 --> 00:13:47,332
Sorry, I've always wanted
to say that. Carry on.
204
00:13:47,357 --> 00:13:50,242
Pantalone grabs
the keys from the drowsy guard
205
00:13:50,267 --> 00:13:54,242
and takes the briefcase
with the diamonds from the van.
206
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:59,082
Mario and Scaramouche head down
the manhole int0 the sewers.
207
00:13:59,107 --> 00:14:01,773
I pick up the boss
in the getaway car.
208
00:14:01,798 --> 00:14:05,442
We all meet back here at 6pm
and share the spoils.
209
00:14:08,397 --> 00:14:11,212
See? Piece of piss.
Anything from the subplot?
210
00:14:11,237 --> 00:14:14,692
No. I think we're all g00d
on that front, Daddy.
211
00:14:14,717 --> 00:14:16,412
Yeah, all good.
212
00:14:17,548 --> 00:14:19,812
Bene, g00d.
213
00:14:19,837 --> 00:14:22,132
Right, you've got 20 minutes
to get your shit together.
214
00:14:23,727 --> 00:14:27,052
Erm, boss, is it all right
if I make a sandwich first?
215
00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:29,412
No! Fuck 0ff! Should've eaten
before we got here.
216
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:36,342
Are you ready for the twist?
217
00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:38,342
Therets a good one.
218
00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:45,052
Guv, itts Detective Sergeant Janus.
219
00:14:45,077 --> 00:14:47,452
Wetre just about to leave
the hideaway.
220
00:14:47,477 --> 00:14:49,452
Put all units on standby.
221
00:14:49,477 --> 00:14:52,533
No, I dontt think
they suspect a thing.
222
00:15:02,627 --> 00:15:04,422
Let's get him sat down.
223
00:15:04,447 --> 00:15:07,802
Did anyone see where the boss went?
I assume he's with Hortensia.
224
00:15:07,827 --> 00:15:09,922
Why didn't you wait for 'em?
I panic!
225
00:15:09,947 --> 00:15:12,653
There were polices everywhere!
I get you a drink.
226
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:15,602
No, n0! Make me a cheese sandwich.
Caerphilly?
227
00:15:15,627 --> 00:15:17,663
Yeah, use a blunt knife. Go!
228
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:21,653
Come on.
229
00:15:21,678 --> 00:15:23,692
Argh, argh!
230
00:15:23,717 --> 00:15:25,572
Fuck. What happened?
231
00:15:25,597 --> 00:15:28,452
It was an ambush.
They knew we were coming.
232
00:15:28,477 --> 00:15:30,172
We must have a rat in the group.
233
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,432
Bob Geldof? No.
234
00:15:33,457 --> 00:15:35,722
I mean somebody from the police.
235
00:15:35,747 --> 00:15:37,492
Gordon Sumner? Wh0?
236
00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:40,812
Roger Daltrey?
No, they blew our cover.
237
00:15:40,837 --> 00:15:43,802
A double crosser.
Argh! What you doing?!
238
00:15:43,827 --> 00:15:45,802
Taking your shoe 0ff.
You've been shot. No!
239
00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:48,783
I need a sandwich first.
I'm famished!
240
00:15:48,808 --> 00:15:51,142
Scaramouche, Scaramouche!
♪ Will you do the... ♪
241
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,372
No! What? We're not allowed.
Sorry.
242
00:15:53,397 --> 00:15:55,082
Where's that sandwich?!
243
00:15:55,107 --> 00:15:56,812
There is n0 cheese!
244
00:15:56,837 --> 00:15:59,852
I can 0ffer you a beef a-rap.
Yeah, go on.
245
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:02,222
♪ Yo, y0, I come from a cow
246
00:16:02,247 --> 00:16:04,653
♪ I got lots of prize
for my bol0gnese! ♪
247
00:16:07,877 --> 00:16:10,242
I'll give him a hand. Argh!
248
00:16:13,627 --> 00:16:15,062
Listen, I got your letter.
249
00:16:15,087 --> 00:16:17,852
I want you to know I feel exactly
the same way. You do?
250
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:20,372
I do, yes.
The uniform, the moustache.
251
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,062
Always dreamed of having
a daddy like you. You have?
252
00:16:23,087 --> 00:16:25,732
L00k, I've got something down here
that means that you and I,
253
00:16:25,757 --> 00:16:29,012
we could run 0ff together.
He must mean the explosives.
254
00:16:29,037 --> 00:16:33,092
Mari0, I will a-use your bomb,
but 0nly when the time is right.
255
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:36,322
When Senor Pantalone gets here,
then we will blow.
256
00:16:36,347 --> 00:16:38,252
You mean a three-way? Si, si.
257
00:16:38,277 --> 00:16:41,942
The passage will be tight,
but I think we can manage it.
258
00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:44,242
Go0d God, I'm s0 hard right now!
259
00:16:50,327 --> 00:16:53,252
We could do with more
a-men like a-him in the military.
260
00:16:59,558 --> 00:17:01,602
Pops!
261
00:17:01,627 --> 00:17:03,582
Mari0. De0 gratias.
262
00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:05,612
Are you unharmed? I'm fine.
Not a scratch on me.
263
00:17:05,637 --> 00:17:07,812
What happened to you?
We managed to grab the diamonds
264
00:17:07,837 --> 00:17:11,322
before the shooting started
and made a run for it. Howts Arl0?
265
00:17:11,347 --> 00:17:14,403
Not g00d. Pops, you'd better
have a l00k at him.
266
00:17:14,428 --> 00:17:17,403
All right.
But I don't have all my kit with me
267
00:17:17,428 --> 00:17:20,252
and you know I'm not g00d
with the sight of bloo...
268
00:17:25,397 --> 00:17:27,533
Bit of a drawback for a doctor.
269
00:17:27,558 --> 00:17:29,182
Sorry.
270
00:17:36,808 --> 00:17:38,452
How are you feeling?
271
00:17:38,477 --> 00:17:41,012
Hungry.
272
00:17:41,037 --> 00:17:43,252
Youtre always hungry.
273
00:17:43,277 --> 00:17:44,852
Howts your foot?
274
00:17:44,877 --> 00:17:48,332
Wel♪ the first little piggy's
still at the market,
275
00:17:48,357 --> 00:17:51,852
but I think all the 0ther little
piggy's have pissed 0ff.
276
00:17:51,877 --> 00:17:55,302
I'm not going to get that
trial for Crystal Palace now, am I?
277
00:17:55,327 --> 00:17:58,142
I tm sure Millwall would take you.
278
00:17:58,167 --> 00:18:00,142
What happened?
279
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:01,732
It's a blur.
280
00:18:01,757 --> 00:18:03,682
I was doing my distracting.
281
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:07,252
The guard comes back with his
coffee, and, suddenly, I turn around
282
00:18:07,277 --> 00:18:09,923
and there's tw0 dozen
coppers behind me.
283
00:18:09,948 --> 00:18:12,203
I think I shot myse♪ in the f00t.
284
00:18:12,228 --> 00:18:14,453
I tm sure it wasntt your fault.
285
00:18:14,478 --> 00:18:18,093
No, I mean, I literally shot
myse♪ in the f00t.
286
00:18:18,118 --> 00:18:20,443
I didn't realise the safety was 0ff.
287
00:18:20,468 --> 00:18:22,524
I'm such an idiot!
288
00:18:22,549 --> 00:18:25,763
I'm scared, Collie! Youtll live.
289
00:18:25,788 --> 00:18:27,363
How do you know?
290
00:18:28,898 --> 00:18:32,163
Because I turned over two pages
of the script at 0nce.
291
00:18:34,758 --> 00:18:36,363
Thank you.
292
00:18:36,388 --> 00:18:37,843
I'm fine now.
293
00:18:39,268 --> 00:18:41,963
Mari0, the gems are in here,
294
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:45,043
but the servant girl has
the key in her bumbag.
295
00:18:45,068 --> 00:18:48,404
You'll need to extricate it from her
post-haste to facilitate
296
00:18:48,429 --> 00:18:50,883
the substitution.
How am I supposed to do that?
297
00:18:50,908 --> 00:18:54,514
Wel♪ flirt with her a little.
Vanquish her with your virility.
298
00:18:54,539 --> 00:18:57,883
Then see if you can force your
fingers into her fanny pack. Eurgh!
299
00:18:57,908 --> 00:19:01,013
Quick♪! We need this money, Mari0.
300
00:19:01,038 --> 00:19:02,593
Tempus fugit!
301
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:08,803
How is the pat-it-ient?
302
00:19:08,828 --> 00:19:12,123
Sorry? Young Arlokin0, he has
a very bad injury.
303
00:19:12,148 --> 00:19:14,963
Er, I haven't examined him yet.
304
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,603
To be honest, Captain,
I'm a little haemophobic.
305
00:19:17,628 --> 00:19:20,573
Do not worry.
I do not think he is a Queen Mary.
306
00:19:20,598 --> 00:19:23,524
Erm, I'm making a sandwich,
would you like a-one?
307
00:19:27,998 --> 00:19:29,573
Dear.
308
00:19:29,598 --> 00:19:31,953
ARLO WHIMPERS ltts OK, itts OK.
309
00:19:33,188 --> 00:19:35,443
Argh... Itts OK.
310
00:19:35,468 --> 00:19:37,963
Did you see the Master
and Hortensia?
311
00:19:37,988 --> 00:19:40,363
No. I was inside the van.
312
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:43,603
I heard him, though.
He thinks we were betrayed.
313
00:19:43,628 --> 00:19:45,573
Someone ratted us out.
314
00:19:45,598 --> 00:19:47,573
Does he know who? No.
315
00:19:47,598 --> 00:19:50,603
He said Hortensia had been acting
all weird recently.
316
00:19:50,628 --> 00:19:52,363
Very secretive.
317
00:19:52,388 --> 00:19:54,654
Thatts because she doesntt want
to marry Scaramouche.
318
00:19:54,679 --> 00:19:56,603
Shets planning on running
away with...
319
00:19:58,268 --> 00:20:00,033
Hey, babe.
320
00:20:00,058 --> 00:20:02,803
Would you have an inhaler? Because
you are just taking my breath...
321
00:20:02,828 --> 00:20:04,043
Yeah.
322
00:20:04,068 --> 00:20:05,893
I tve got one in here.
323
00:20:05,918 --> 00:20:08,443
Just put it back when youtre
finished. I tll leave the zip 0pen.
324
00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:09,763
Thanks.
325
00:20:10,988 --> 00:20:12,404
Itts OK.
326
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,483
That was easy.
327
00:20:21,549 --> 00:20:23,833
Baby, what're you doing to my Pops?
328
00:20:23,858 --> 00:20:25,803
I'm trying to make him come to.
329
00:20:25,828 --> 00:20:27,603
You're going about it
in a very funny way.
330
00:20:27,628 --> 00:20:29,833
Go find the smelling salts.
They're in his bag.
331
00:21:47,498 --> 00:21:49,203
What happened?
332
00:21:50,549 --> 00:21:53,404
She's gone - forever.
333
00:21:53,429 --> 00:21:56,843
Are you sure? I know when one is
dead, and when one lives! Lear.
334
00:21:56,868 --> 00:21:58,394
It's true.
335
00:21:58,419 --> 00:22:01,603
That spineless shit Scaramouche
left us right there
336
00:22:01,628 --> 00:22:04,003
in the middle of the fucking feds!
337
00:22:04,028 --> 00:22:06,043
We were like sitting ducks.
338
00:22:06,068 --> 00:22:07,763
Where is he?
339
00:22:07,788 --> 00:22:10,243
I'll slice the nose
right 0ff his craven face!
340
00:22:10,268 --> 00:22:13,274
Where is he?! He went to get some
smelling sa♪s for my Pops.
341
00:22:14,508 --> 00:22:16,213
Jesus, what a shitshow.
342
00:22:18,559 --> 00:22:22,123
Columbina, come here.
343
00:22:22,148 --> 00:22:24,203
You're the 0nly one I trust.
344
00:22:29,429 --> 00:22:31,453
You tell me.
345
00:22:33,948 --> 00:22:36,203
Wh0's the snake here?
346
00:22:36,228 --> 00:22:38,133
Wh0?
347
00:22:38,158 --> 00:22:40,173
Wh0 tipped 0ff the Old Bill?
348
00:22:40,198 --> 00:22:42,563
I dunno, er...
349
00:22:42,588 --> 00:22:44,534
Maybe it was, erm...
350
00:23:05,788 --> 00:23:07,453
You're with me now.
351
00:23:08,518 --> 00:23:11,284
Boss, what did you do that for?
352
00:23:11,309 --> 00:23:13,203
She's an undercover copper.
353
00:23:13,228 --> 00:23:14,733
She's wearing a wire.
354
00:23:14,758 --> 00:23:17,643
Check it out if you don't
believe me. How did you know?
355
00:23:17,668 --> 00:23:20,333
Hortensia saw her fiddling
with it in the bogs.
356
00:23:20,358 --> 00:23:22,813
I should've known
she was t00 g00d to be true.
357
00:23:22,838 --> 00:23:25,383
No, not... not Collie.
I... I don't believe it.
358
00:23:25,408 --> 00:23:28,093
Yeah. By my estimates, we have
less than five minutes
359
00:23:28,118 --> 00:23:30,083
before the Filth get here.
360
00:23:30,108 --> 00:23:31,643
Where's that coward?
361
00:23:31,668 --> 00:23:34,123
Scaramouche? Scaramouche!
362
00:23:34,148 --> 00:23:35,973
♪ Will you do the... ♪
363
00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:37,453
Shit!
364
00:23:43,228 --> 00:23:46,093
See what you've done?
To your 0wn intended?
365
00:23:46,118 --> 00:23:48,173
Hortensia...
366
00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:52,483
My Hortensia!
367
00:23:52,508 --> 00:23:56,563
I wished to woo you,
but now my w00 has turned to woe.
368
00:23:56,588 --> 00:24:00,123
I beg that I could a -take
your place up in heaven!
369
00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:02,534
That can be arranged.
370
00:24:02,559 --> 00:24:04,493
Baby, why are you talking like this?
371
00:24:04,518 --> 00:24:07,563
I thought you had eyes 0n♪ for me.
For you? What you on about?
372
00:24:07,588 --> 00:24:10,534
He wrote me a letter.
The subplot. Arlokino gave it to me.
373
00:24:15,148 --> 00:24:16,813
This is my daughter's hand.
374
00:24:16,838 --> 00:24:20,813
No, that is a letter.
This is your daughterts hand!
375
00:24:20,838 --> 00:24:24,053
She was going to elope
with a blockhead like you?!
376
00:24:24,078 --> 00:24:25,973
What are you talking about?
I bare♪ knew her.
377
00:24:25,998 --> 00:24:28,923
You two a -timing floozy!
Take a -that!
378
00:24:28,948 --> 00:24:30,333
It wasn't him!
379
00:24:34,488 --> 00:24:36,203
It was me.
380
00:24:37,429 --> 00:24:40,643
Horsey and I have been having
an affair for several months.
381
00:24:40,668 --> 00:24:43,323
It was an amour fou.
382
00:24:43,348 --> 00:24:46,103
It started on that business trip
we t00k to Italy.
383
00:24:46,128 --> 00:24:47,843
Genoa?
384
00:24:47,868 --> 00:24:49,534
Yes, since she was a little girl.
385
00:24:50,928 --> 00:24:53,923
We flew back together
to the United States.
386
00:24:53,948 --> 00:24:56,453
Chicag0? No, she was a passenger.
387
00:24:57,439 --> 00:25:00,893
And, when we landed at the airport,
I can't remember which one...
388
00:25:00,918 --> 00:25:02,404
Alaska?
389
00:25:02,429 --> 00:25:04,773
There's n0 point now. She's dead.
390
00:25:04,798 --> 00:25:08,284
We hatched this plan to steal
the diamonds from you
391
00:25:08,309 --> 00:25:11,173
and run away together
to the Caribbean.
392
00:25:12,638 --> 00:25:14,093
Trinidad and Tobago?
393
00:25:15,118 --> 00:25:16,414
Yes.
394
00:25:17,508 --> 00:25:20,003
But now it seems
it was all for nought.
395
00:25:20,028 --> 00:25:23,053
We have been caught
in flagrante delict0,
396
00:25:23,078 --> 00:25:24,613
and my beloved is dead.
397
00:25:25,718 --> 00:25:27,893
Mea culpa, gentle one.
398
00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:34,773
Wel♪ maybe we can get back to
the A plot now we've had this
399
00:25:34,798 --> 00:25:37,213
little diversion.
I need you to hand over that case.
400
00:25:37,238 --> 00:25:39,404
No, Pantalone.
401
00:25:39,429 --> 00:25:41,203
I won't do it. Pops...
402
00:25:41,228 --> 00:25:43,363
These diamonds are all my son
and I have.
403
00:25:43,388 --> 00:25:46,083
They will ensure 0ur safe
passage out of here.
404
00:25:46,108 --> 00:25:48,123
Quid pr0 qu0, et cetera.
405
00:25:48,148 --> 00:25:50,253
I... I won't waste you here, Doc.
406
00:25:50,278 --> 00:25:53,133
I'll not shit on my 0wn d00rstep,
but I need you to hand me
407
00:25:53,158 --> 00:25:55,133
the fucking ice! It's fine.
408
00:25:55,158 --> 00:25:57,343
Do it. Nil desperandum, Mari0.
409
00:25:57,368 --> 00:25:59,933
I can handle the negotiation.
410
00:25:59,958 --> 00:26:02,083
This is not a negotiation.
411
00:26:02,108 --> 00:26:04,253
Stop.
412
00:26:04,278 --> 00:26:07,173
You lay a finger on him and I 'll
carpet the floor with your brains.
413
00:26:07,198 --> 00:26:09,414
It's a g00d thing we're not
using your brains.
414
00:26:09,439 --> 00:26:11,414
There'd be barely enough
for a fucking d00rmat.
415
00:26:11,439 --> 00:26:12,973
Scaramouche!
416
00:26:12,998 --> 00:26:16,443
Tame this little bitch of yours,
will ya? please.
417
00:26:16,468 --> 00:26:19,534
Your family jewels belong
in Senor Pantalonets hands,
418
00:26:19,559 --> 00:26:21,563
not in your papats.
419
00:26:21,588 --> 00:26:23,369
Let us not come to blows.
420
00:26:23,394 --> 00:26:25,499
Captain, my Captain.
421
00:26:25,524 --> 00:26:28,369
I've dreamed of having
your weapon in my face,
422
00:26:28,394 --> 00:26:29,878
but not like this.
423
00:26:29,903 --> 00:26:31,764
Et tu, Scaramouche.
424
00:26:31,789 --> 00:26:33,364
Very well.
425
00:26:33,389 --> 00:26:35,824
Aut neca aut necare.
426
00:26:35,849 --> 00:26:37,724
Do or die.
427
00:26:37,749 --> 00:26:39,704
Give me the case!
428
00:26:39,729 --> 00:26:41,894
Give it to him, Pops. Are you sure?
429
00:26:41,919 --> 00:26:44,254
Yes, let him have it!
430
00:26:44,279 --> 00:26:45,934
SHOTS Fl RE
431
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,535
Wel♪ Arl0,
this l00ks like arrivederci.
432
00:26:57,279 --> 00:26:59,285
I would take you with me,
433
00:26:59,310 --> 00:27:02,204
but, as you can see,
got me hands full.
434
00:27:03,519 --> 00:27:06,014
There's a boat out the back
if you want to take your chance
435
00:27:06,039 --> 00:27:08,724
on the river. I've got
an appointment with my fence.
436
00:27:08,749 --> 00:27:12,004
Boss, can you do me
a favour before you go?
437
00:27:12,029 --> 00:27:13,564
What's that?
438
00:27:13,589 --> 00:27:16,694
Can you make me a sandwich?
I'm starved!
439
00:27:16,719 --> 00:27:18,654
Yeah, here y'are.
440
00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,285
Help yourse♪.
441
00:27:21,919 --> 00:27:23,494
Ta-ta!
442
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:35,894
Come on. Get up, he's gone!
443
00:27:35,919 --> 00:27:38,054
Come on! Collie!
444
00:27:38,079 --> 00:27:40,254
Come on, girl!
445
00:27:40,279 --> 00:27:42,004
You read the script.
446
00:27:44,009 --> 00:27:46,415
Wel♪ none of this has been
rea♪ has it?
447
00:28:01,949 --> 00:28:04,214
Argh, argh...
448
00:28:07,879 --> 00:28:10,264
After all that,
449
00:28:10,289 --> 00:28:12,614
there's nothing left.
450
00:28:12,639 --> 00:28:15,344
Just a hot and spicy whip
451
00:28:15,369 --> 00:28:17,444
and a bag of clear mints.
452
00:28:30,559 --> 00:28:32,444
Wel♪ fuck my 0ld b00ts!
453
00:28:33,729 --> 00:28:36,614
I am going to be able to feed
myse♪ after all.
454
00:28:43,799 --> 00:28:45,425
Are you coming, Ech0?
455
00:28:55,079 --> 00:28:57,084
I thought you'd never ask!
456
00:29:43,919 --> 00:29:51,919
GUNFl RE AND EXPLOSIONS
Ambush! Ambush! Go, go, go!
34702
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