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1
00:00:22,091 --> 00:00:24,082
Well, well...
2
00:00:24,083 --> 00:00:26,064
"Make yourself comfortable"?
3
00:00:28,024 --> 00:00:30,071
Is that supposed to be funny?
4
00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:40,067
Oh... Hello.
5
00:00:40,067 --> 00:00:42,042
Are you all right?
6
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:45,063
Don't mind me, I'm
just being nosy.
7
00:00:45,064 --> 00:00:48,039
What do you reckon, eh?
8
00:00:48,039 --> 00:00:50,006
I'm, erm... I'm working tonight.
9
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,015
I'm a... I'm a chaperone.
10
00:00:52,015 --> 00:00:55,042
I don't know good art from
a good fart, me! Ha-ha!
11
00:00:55,043 --> 00:00:57,034
Yeah, in't it?
12
00:00:57,036 --> 00:01:00,023
I'm Neil. I'm assisting one of
the guests when they arrive.
13
00:01:00,024 --> 00:01:01,046
It's not you, is it?
14
00:01:01,048 --> 00:01:03,999
Visually impaired, yeah,
15
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,043
and that's a good thing in here,
what do you reckon?
16
00:01:06,043 --> 00:01:08,007
Have you seen the state of
this thing?
17
00:01:08,007 --> 00:01:09,046
What's all that about, eh?
18
00:01:09,048 --> 00:01:11,072
Argh!
19
00:01:14,048 --> 00:01:15,091
I've spilt me Ritz...
20
00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:54,021
Excuse me, is this
the private view
21
00:01:54,034 --> 00:01:57,046
for Fragments by
Elliot Quinn?
22
00:01:57,048 --> 00:01:59,010
I don't know.
23
00:01:59,012 --> 00:02:01,055
If only there was a way
of finding out.
24
00:02:03,036 --> 00:02:06,019
Oh, my God! It says it
right there, doesn't it?
25
00:02:06,019 --> 00:02:07,022
What am I like?
26
00:02:07,024 --> 00:02:11,010
Would you like
a glass of champagne, madam?
27
00:02:11,012 --> 00:02:12,050
I'll just have the one,
28
00:02:12,051 --> 00:02:15,067
cos I've got another opening
to go to after this.
29
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,067
I'm never usually
the first to arrive.
30
00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:19,074
You're not. Someone else
already went through.
31
00:02:19,075 --> 00:02:22,055
Oh, is it another celeb?
Cos I might know them.
32
00:02:22,056 --> 00:02:26,058
Another celeb?
The implication being...
33
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:31,043
Yes, it is me.
Carrie from BB8.
34
00:02:31,044 --> 00:02:33,084
Will there be any photographers
coming, do you know?
35
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,022
I don't mind.
36
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,074
Although, I once got papped
at a Narnia premiere
37
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:41,058
with a massive sweat patch
under my arm.
38
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:44,070
I thought, "OMG, that's going
straight into Heat magazine -".
39
00:02:44,072 --> 00:02:46,046
"Circle Of Shame."
40
00:02:46,048 --> 00:02:47,091
They never used it, though.
41
00:02:47,091 --> 00:02:49,008
That is a shame.
42
00:02:55,072 --> 00:02:57,067
Ooh...
43
00:03:10,092 --> 00:03:12,050
Good evening.
44
00:03:12,051 --> 00:03:13,056
Maurice Wickham.
45
00:03:15,075 --> 00:03:17,022
You don't need to see my stiffie?
46
00:03:17,024 --> 00:03:19,031
I certainly don't.
47
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,091
Well, I'll help myself to one of
these, then, shall I?
48
00:03:21,091 --> 00:03:24,070
I've only got two hands.
49
00:03:24,072 --> 00:03:26,031
Two of everything,
by the look of it.
50
00:03:26,032 --> 00:03:28,086
Don't bother, Grandad.
I'm out of here in three hours.
51
00:03:28,087 --> 00:03:30,086
Well, at least you're keen.
52
00:03:30,087 --> 00:03:32,014
Are you an art lover?
53
00:03:32,015 --> 00:03:34,010
Nope.
54
00:03:34,012 --> 00:03:37,062
And yet you have...
Tits?
55
00:03:37,063 --> 00:03:41,050
Tattoos.
Body art is still art, after all.
56
00:03:41,051 --> 00:03:43,050
Yeah, and it's not for sale,
57
00:03:43,051 --> 00:03:46,020
so you can keep your little
red dot away from me.
58
00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:49,003
Thanks for the drink.
59
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,002
You're not... I am, yeah.
60
00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:56,007
You're not...
61
00:03:56,008 --> 00:03:57,055
Oh, that is classic.
62
00:03:57,055 --> 00:03:58,998
Oh, good God, that is classic.
63
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,067
You'll never guess
what his name is.
64
00:04:00,068 --> 00:04:01,070
Rumpelstiltskin?
65
00:04:01,072 --> 00:04:04,055
No. No, no.
Go on, go on, go on, tell her.
66
00:04:04,056 --> 00:04:05,080
Kenneth Williams.
67
00:04:08,024 --> 00:04:11,079
Do you know, he has never seen
any of the Carry On films?
68
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,082
Really?
69
00:04:12,084 --> 00:04:15,007
Yeah, I don't watch comedy -
got no interest in it -
70
00:04:15,008 --> 00:04:18,043
and, from a health and safety
perspective, most of it's a joke.
71
00:04:18,043 --> 00:04:20,999
We... We're not together, you
know, by the way. We just...
72
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,011
We just met in the lift
on the way down, didn't we?
73
00:04:24,012 --> 00:04:26,047
Mm, yeah, erm, there's no signal
down here, is there?
74
00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:28,019
No, because we're in a basement.
75
00:04:28,019 --> 00:04:30,079
No, it's because the arsehole
contractors can't be bothered
76
00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:32,091
putting a signal booster in
the Cat-5 webbing.
77
00:04:32,091 --> 00:04:34,055
Pisses me off!
78
00:04:35,072 --> 00:04:37,079
Well, he's a laugh a minute.
79
00:04:40,004 --> 00:04:41,079
Oh, right, thanks. Cheers.
80
00:04:52,024 --> 00:04:54,005
Is there, like, a
set amount of time
81
00:04:54,019 --> 00:04:56,011
you're meant to
look at each thing
82
00:04:56,012 --> 00:04:57,052
before you move on?
83
00:04:59,019 --> 00:05:00,074
Not necessarily.
84
00:05:00,076 --> 00:05:03,083
It depends on the piece
and what it says to you.
85
00:05:03,084 --> 00:05:07,028
For example, what this piece is
saying to me is...
86
00:05:08,091 --> 00:05:10,072
gas explosion at Debenhams.
87
00:05:11,096 --> 00:05:14,002
Right.
88
00:05:14,004 --> 00:05:17,028
And do you know all this
cos you teach art in a collage?
89
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,031
No. No, no.
90
00:05:21,031 --> 00:05:23,999
I teach art in a college,
91
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,047
but one of the disciplines in art
is collage -
92
00:05:27,048 --> 00:05:29,516
the assemblage of
disparate elements
93
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:32,007
which together
create a new whole.
94
00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:35,079
Oh, that is like me
with my chillies.
95
00:05:35,079 --> 00:05:37,055
I chuck everything in.
96
00:05:37,055 --> 00:05:39,047
I'm known for it.
97
00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:41,082
On BB8 I put bananas in,
98
00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:45,047
and on BB-BOTS they were all
like, "What is she like?!"
99
00:05:45,048 --> 00:05:48,086
I'm sorry, you've lost me.
What's BB8?
100
00:05:48,088 --> 00:05:51,091
Big Brother 8 -
I was one of the contestants.
101
00:05:51,091 --> 00:05:54,095
It was the year when Trevor
and Viveca had the row about
102
00:05:54,096 --> 00:05:58,047
the rice cakes and had sex in
the secret bunker.
103
00:05:58,048 --> 00:06:00,047
Oh, well, I didn't see it,
I'm afraid.
104
00:06:00,048 --> 00:06:03,014
Oh, you should. It's
a classic year.
105
00:06:03,016 --> 00:06:04,062
I got down to the last six.
106
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:07,059
Hello!
107
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:11,011
Is someone there?
108
00:06:11,012 --> 00:06:14,091
Can I have some
assistance, please?
109
00:06:14,091 --> 00:06:17,082
I'm visually impaired.
110
00:06:17,084 --> 00:06:19,038
Yes?
111
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,023
Are you all right?
Do you need a hand?
112
00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:23,999
They said someone would be here
to meet me, is that you?
113
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,074
No, there's a man here -
I'll take you to him.
114
00:06:25,076 --> 00:06:28,035
Oh, are you blind?
115
00:06:28,036 --> 00:06:29,047
What?
116
00:06:29,048 --> 00:06:32,086
I take your arm -
you do not take mine.
117
00:06:32,088 --> 00:06:34,091
Jesus. At £8 an hour,
is it worth it?
118
00:06:34,091 --> 00:06:37,011
I'd like a drink first,
if that's not too much trouble.
119
00:06:37,012 --> 00:06:38,016
Course.
120
00:06:40,088 --> 00:06:44,031
Hey, Kenneth.
I think I've seen it all now.
121
00:06:44,031 --> 00:06:45,036
Look over there.
122
00:06:46,043 --> 00:06:48,079
Unbelievable.
123
00:06:48,079 --> 00:06:50,050
I don't want to be
funny, but what
124
00:06:50,062 --> 00:06:52,043
is she going to
get out of it?
125
00:06:52,043 --> 00:06:54,062
Perhaps she's going to feel
her way round.
126
00:06:54,064 --> 00:06:57,079
No, galleries do that now,
you know - touch tours.
127
00:06:57,079 --> 00:07:00,023
And don't get me
started on ramps.
128
00:07:00,024 --> 00:07:02,086
Well, she'll have no trouble
smelling them -
129
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:05,048
they are crap.
130
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,082
Welcome, everybody.
131
00:07:26,084 --> 00:07:28,036
Welcome to my exhibition.
132
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:33,064
I'm Elliot Quinn,
and three years ago, I died.
133
00:07:34,072 --> 00:07:36,007
Don't be alarmed.
134
00:07:36,007 --> 00:07:38,026
I knew it was going to happen,
135
00:07:38,028 --> 00:07:42,062
and it made me think about
my life and my work
136
00:07:42,064 --> 00:07:44,091
and how I wanted
to be remembered,
137
00:07:44,091 --> 00:07:47,084
so I set about creating
this installation.
138
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:53,999
"Fragments" is an immersive work
that seeks to answer those
139
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,058
big important questions -
140
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:59,079
"Who are we?",
"How did we come to be here?",
141
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,574
and, "If all the
world's a stage",
142
00:08:01,586 --> 00:08:04,091
then where does the
audience sit?"
143
00:08:04,091 --> 00:08:09,067
All of you have been hand-picked
to attend this evening.
144
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:12,007
It's a very exclusive
private view.
145
00:08:13,012 --> 00:08:16,014
I hope, by the end, you know why.
146
00:08:16,016 --> 00:08:17,019
Enjoy.
147
00:08:21,076 --> 00:08:24,074
Hang on a minute.
So, Elliot Quim is dead?
148
00:08:24,076 --> 00:08:26,082
Quinn.
That's what he said.
149
00:08:26,084 --> 00:08:28,031
I wanted to meet him.
150
00:08:28,031 --> 00:08:30,079
We've got space for a mural at
that pocket park in Goole Street,
151
00:08:30,079 --> 00:08:32,051
and I wanted to get a freebie.
152
00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:35,027
Sorry, I work for the council -
Kenneth Williams.
153
00:08:35,028 --> 00:08:37,003
Oh, my God! I've heard of you.
154
00:08:37,004 --> 00:08:38,030
Are you famous?
155
00:08:38,032 --> 00:08:40,019
Ooh, Matron!
156
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,058
Yeah, yeah.
I've heard it all before.
157
00:08:42,059 --> 00:08:44,062
"Frying tonight."
"Stop messing about."
158
00:08:44,063 --> 00:08:46,091
No, I'm not that
Kenneth Williams.
159
00:08:46,091 --> 00:08:47,999
I'm not famous.
160
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,027
I'm Mr Dull Boring Ordinary
Health-and-Safety Nobody.
161
00:08:51,028 --> 00:08:54,082
Oh, but, I bet, underneath it
all, when people get to know you,
162
00:08:54,084 --> 00:08:57,071
you're a really interesting
character.
163
00:08:57,072 --> 00:08:59,047
No.
164
00:08:59,048 --> 00:09:00,052
No, I'm not.
165
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,220
I'll just go and get a top-up.
166
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:10,038
Sorry, sir, you're not allowed to
smoke down here.
167
00:09:10,039 --> 00:09:11,095
It's battery.
168
00:09:11,096 --> 00:09:15,023
Under UK law, I'm permitted to
use it in any public space that
169
00:09:15,024 --> 00:09:17,030
has not been fitted with
a vape alarm.
170
00:09:17,032 --> 00:09:20,030
Oh, I had one of them, but it
kept on going off in Argos.
171
00:09:20,032 --> 00:09:23,030
Excuse me,
I seem to have been parked here.
172
00:09:23,032 --> 00:09:25,051
I was promised a drink
at some point -
173
00:09:25,052 --> 00:09:27,062
I presumed they meant
the same evening.
174
00:09:27,063 --> 00:09:28,086
Yeah, won't be a sec.
175
00:09:28,087 --> 00:09:31,075
Here, you can have mine.
I'm not really enjoying it.
176
00:09:31,076 --> 00:09:34,078
It just creases me up, champagne.
It really burns.
177
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,086
Thank you.
178
00:09:35,087 --> 00:09:38,095
Why have we all been
"hand-picked", do you think?
179
00:09:38,096 --> 00:09:40,051
We none of us know each other.
180
00:09:40,052 --> 00:09:42,023
It appears we have very
little in common...
181
00:09:42,024 --> 00:09:43,039
Well, I'd never
heard of this
182
00:09:43,052 --> 00:09:44,078
Elliot Quinn till
I got the invite.
183
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,014
I don't know anything about art.
184
00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:48,082
Well, my neighbour does have
a Citroen Picasso.
185
00:09:48,084 --> 00:09:52,014
The name rings a bell.
Has he ever brought out a book?
186
00:09:52,015 --> 00:09:53,027
My neighbour?
187
00:09:53,028 --> 00:09:56,091
Elliot Quinn. I'm in publishing,
perhaps that's the connection.
188
00:09:56,091 --> 00:09:58,058
Judging by the first few pieces,
189
00:09:58,059 --> 00:10:01,095
perhaps it's some form of
endurance test.
190
00:10:01,096 --> 00:10:03,052
See you at the other end.
191
00:10:06,019 --> 00:10:09,095
Why don't you and I chum up?
192
00:10:09,096 --> 00:10:13,023
You see, I had a great aunt,
and she was blind,
193
00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:14,082
so I know what I'm doing.
194
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:18,019
I'm not blind -
I'm visually impaired.
195
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:22,071
Oh, she's gone.
196
00:10:22,072 --> 00:10:24,067
Right, well, I'm just going to
have a look round -
197
00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:26,010
see if I can spot
any fire hazards.
198
00:10:26,011 --> 00:10:27,034
Sounds like fun.
199
00:10:27,036 --> 00:10:30,014
There's nothing funny about
being trapped in a fire, Miss.
200
00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:31,039
I know there isn't.
201
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,003
Right, well,
I'm just going to and, erm...
202
00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:38,006
Carry on?
203
00:10:38,008 --> 00:10:39,059
Yeah.
204
00:11:16,024 --> 00:11:17,038
Creepy!
205
00:11:17,039 --> 00:11:19,006
Oh, my God!
206
00:11:19,008 --> 00:11:20,086
You made me jump.
207
00:11:20,087 --> 00:11:22,043
A bit derivative of Ron Mueck,
208
00:11:22,043 --> 00:11:25,047
but I like the idea of
a blood mirror.
209
00:11:25,048 --> 00:11:28,006
A little like Wilson's oil
at the Saatchi.
210
00:11:28,008 --> 00:11:31,078
It's horrible. What's it called?
211
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,999
He's got a thing
round his neck...
212
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,091
No, I wouldn't touch the exhibit
if I were you.
213
00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:48,999
Good God!
214
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,006
He's been stabbed!
215
00:11:51,008 --> 00:11:52,023
All right...
216
00:11:52,024 --> 00:11:54,052
This could be part of
the installation.
217
00:11:57,028 --> 00:12:00,023
Come on, old chap! Get up!
218
00:12:00,024 --> 00:12:02,038
You've got to reset for
the next lot coming in.
219
00:12:02,039 --> 00:12:06,023
Stop kicking him, he's dead!
He's a big, fat, dead man!
220
00:12:06,024 --> 00:12:08,999
Jesus Christ! What's
going on here?
221
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,082
Oh, he was just sitting there.
I thought he was a dummy.
222
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:16,051
I can't be here. I
cannot be here!
223
00:12:16,052 --> 00:12:17,529
I'm meant to be at
Edwina Currie's
224
00:12:17,543 --> 00:12:19,030
perfume launch
at 9 o'clock.
225
00:12:19,032 --> 00:12:21,010
I think they'll want to
interview you.
226
00:12:21,011 --> 00:12:22,091
I know, for Grazia.
227
00:12:22,091 --> 00:12:25,023
I meant the police.
228
00:12:25,024 --> 00:12:26,034
I haven't done anything!
229
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,082
Here's a good one, now, Pat.
230
00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:29,095
Look there, because they're
all gathered round.
231
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:31,095
It's Patricia! Right.
232
00:12:31,096 --> 00:12:34,030
And why do I smell blood?
233
00:12:34,032 --> 00:12:36,010
There's been an incident, Miss.
234
00:12:36,011 --> 00:12:37,095
Does anyone know where I can
find some cones?
235
00:12:37,096 --> 00:12:39,095
I need to ring-fence off
this entire area.
236
00:12:39,096 --> 00:12:41,027
Why? What's happened?
237
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:44,086
Oh, well, we're not sure,
but it does look like foul play.
238
00:12:44,087 --> 00:12:46,078
Someone's been stabbed
in the back -
239
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:48,071
nothing new in the art world,
of course.
240
00:12:48,072 --> 00:12:50,023
Who's been stabbed?
241
00:12:50,024 --> 00:12:54,054
Neil Francis. He's a...
male nurse.
242
00:12:54,056 --> 00:12:58,003
Oh, we have a dinner lady
at school who's a man.
243
00:12:58,004 --> 00:12:59,078
Right, well,
there's no signal down here,
244
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,999
not even for a triple-nine.
245
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,030
I'm going to have to go upstairs.
246
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:04,027
Miss, do you want
to come with me?
247
00:13:04,028 --> 00:13:07,030
No, I'll wait here,
and see no-one touches anything.
248
00:13:07,032 --> 00:13:08,043
Good call.
249
00:13:12,028 --> 00:13:15,003
You see, that's the trouble
with these Andersons -
250
00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:18,082
if they get called by multiple
users, the pull system freezes.
251
00:13:18,083 --> 00:13:20,027
Oh, right.
252
00:13:20,028 --> 00:13:21,051
Whatever.
253
00:13:21,052 --> 00:13:23,095
Could someone come
and give me a hand, please?!
254
00:13:23,096 --> 00:13:26,030
I'm going to have to
force this door!
255
00:13:26,032 --> 00:13:27,071
Yeah, I'm coming.
256
00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:30,006
I'm going to let go of
your arm now, Patricia,
257
00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:32,038
but you'll be all right,
because you'll be with, erm...
258
00:13:32,039 --> 00:13:34,034
What's your name again, love?
Carrie.
259
00:13:34,036 --> 00:13:36,062
Carrie, like in the film.
260
00:13:36,063 --> 00:13:38,091
Yes, I'm not deaf!
261
00:13:38,091 --> 00:13:43,082
She is impartially sighted, but
she doesn't have a blue badge.
262
00:13:43,084 --> 00:13:45,075
I won't be a sec.
263
00:13:45,076 --> 00:13:47,051
Carrie...
264
00:13:47,052 --> 00:13:51,014
Didn't your boob pop out
in the Jacuzzi?
265
00:13:51,015 --> 00:13:52,043
Sorry?
266
00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:53,072
Big Brother 8.
267
00:13:55,011 --> 00:13:56,043
Yes...
268
00:13:57,091 --> 00:14:01,043
That's it, now. That's it!
269
00:14:01,043 --> 00:14:03,071
It was just after my op.
270
00:14:03,072 --> 00:14:08,023
I had 20-20 vision for a year
before it failed again.
271
00:14:08,024 --> 00:14:13,014
Well, it's just so lucky that my
boob managed to fall into that...
272
00:14:13,015 --> 00:14:14,043
little chink.
273
00:14:14,043 --> 00:14:16,003
Yes.
274
00:14:16,004 --> 00:14:18,010
See if you can get your
fingers in the crack.
275
00:14:18,011 --> 00:14:20,030
Oh, Kenneth!
276
00:14:20,032 --> 00:14:21,078
That's a proper Carry On line!
277
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,062
This is serious! I'm trying to
get us out of here, OK?
278
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,086
I'm sorry. You know, I...
I think I must be in shock.
279
00:14:26,087 --> 00:14:27,999
It makes me go a bit daft.
280
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,034
Here, use my phone -
see if you can get it in for me.
281
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:35,062
"Infamy! Infamy! They've all
got it in..." I'm sorry!
282
00:14:35,063 --> 00:14:41,054
So, how many books have you
actually written?
283
00:14:41,056 --> 00:14:44,010
I've done one a year
for the past 15 years.
284
00:14:44,011 --> 00:14:46,006
God, so that's, like, 12 books.
285
00:14:46,008 --> 00:14:49,047
Hmm... Something like that, yes.
286
00:14:49,048 --> 00:14:52,027
The first few were
pretty soft-core -
287
00:14:52,028 --> 00:14:55,062
swooning nurses,
"the hardness in his breeches",
288
00:14:55,063 --> 00:14:56,075
that sort of thing -
289
00:14:56,076 --> 00:15:00,054
but, after that 50 Shades
nonsense, I had to up my game.
290
00:15:00,056 --> 00:15:03,078
The scenarios became more
and more outrageous -
291
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:07,075
people having sex in the most
extraordinary places.
292
00:15:07,076 --> 00:15:09,078
Like up the bum?
293
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,075
I was thinking more of locations,
294
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:15,027
but, yes, I have lowered myself
once or twice.
295
00:15:15,028 --> 00:15:17,086
Yeah, that is the best way
to do it -
296
00:15:17,087 --> 00:15:19,043
it doesn't hurt as much.
297
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,058
That's it!
298
00:15:21,059 --> 00:15:24,003
Yeah, I can feel it coming...
299
00:15:24,004 --> 00:15:26,076
And pull!
300
00:15:32,096 --> 00:15:34,000
Jesus.
301
00:15:40,076 --> 00:15:42,010
What's happening?
302
00:15:42,011 --> 00:15:44,086
Oh, my God. Not another one...
303
00:15:44,087 --> 00:15:46,030
What is it? What's happening?
304
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,034
Well, it's just this
lovely young waitress -
305
00:15:48,036 --> 00:15:49,071
she's just dead in the lift.
306
00:15:49,072 --> 00:15:51,071
This is too much
of a coincidence.
307
00:15:51,072 --> 00:15:53,054
Who was the last
person to see her?
308
00:15:53,056 --> 00:15:54,059
I was...
309
00:15:56,008 --> 00:15:58,027
but I left her tidying up.
310
00:15:58,028 --> 00:16:01,038
Oh, come on, come on, come on.
Why isn't it working?!
311
00:16:01,039 --> 00:16:04,006
I'm a celebrity, get
me out of here!
312
00:16:04,008 --> 00:16:06,086
There's got to be a... a fire
escape somewhere. Let me think.
313
00:16:06,087 --> 00:16:08,030
How did she die?
314
00:16:08,032 --> 00:16:10,078
Well, I'm not Murder She Wrote,
315
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,034
but I would say she's been
strangulated, wouldn't you?
316
00:16:13,035 --> 00:16:15,043
Right, I've got it.
Erm, there should be a fire door
317
00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:16,075
that leads out onto Duke Street.
318
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,078
I'll come with you, love,
319
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,054
because I want to see
the other rooms anyway.
320
00:16:19,056 --> 00:16:21,091
You know,
I haven't been around it all yet.
321
00:16:21,091 --> 00:16:23,028
Keep an eye on her.
322
00:16:24,091 --> 00:16:26,011
I will.
323
00:16:29,039 --> 00:16:32,030
It's handy, you knowing your way
around these buildings, isn't it?
324
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:34,067
I can barely find my way
around Asda.
325
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:36,019
Yeah, well, it's my job.
326
00:16:36,019 --> 00:16:39,071
I am a dinner lady
at St Michael's.
327
00:16:39,072 --> 00:16:41,054
"Chips or mash?" That's me.
328
00:16:41,056 --> 00:16:42,999
I love the kids, though.
329
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,003
I don't want kids -
too many hazards.
330
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,022
I know, that is the worry.
I could
331
00:16:46,034 --> 00:16:47,062
barely keep mine
in one piece.
332
00:16:47,063 --> 00:16:49,019
No, I meant the kids
are the hazards -
333
00:16:49,019 --> 00:16:51,078
look at Charlie And The
Chocolate Factory.
334
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,003
Oh. Jesus.
335
00:16:53,004 --> 00:16:55,047
There you are.
Police on their way?
336
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,027
No, we couldn't get out.
337
00:16:57,028 --> 00:16:59,014
The lift was blocked.
Oh, for goodness' sake!
338
00:16:59,015 --> 00:17:01,082
Well, couldn't that waitress girl
call the manager or something?
339
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:02,096
She's dead.
340
00:17:04,071 --> 00:17:07,035
This is all a bit
Agatha Christie, isn't it?
341
00:17:07,036 --> 00:17:09,007
None of us know each other,
342
00:17:09,008 --> 00:17:11,086
we've all been invited by
somebody we've never met,
343
00:17:11,087 --> 00:17:14,078
and now it seems we're being
picked off one by one.
344
00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:16,022
Oh, don't...
345
00:17:16,023 --> 00:17:19,019
It's just like Big Brother
all over again.
346
00:17:19,019 --> 00:17:21,042
I hope I don't get booed
when I leave.
347
00:17:21,044 --> 00:17:22,999
If you leave.
348
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,067
At least this time
I've made it to the final five.
349
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:29,002
I once tried to write
a murder mystery,
350
00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:31,075
but it's much harder
than it seems.
351
00:17:31,076 --> 00:17:35,055
It's so easy to get oneself
knee-deep in cliches.
352
00:17:35,056 --> 00:17:38,015
The trouble with
the genre nowadays -
353
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:41,019
too much murder, not
enough mystery.
354
00:17:55,011 --> 00:17:56,999
Chained from the outside.
355
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,030
Illegal. I shall
be reporting this!
356
00:17:59,031 --> 00:18:00,078
But how are we going
to get out now?
357
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:04,015
Surely we're like
fish in a basket.
358
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,019
Barrel.
359
00:18:05,019 --> 00:18:07,067
Sorry. I... I was
thinking of scampi.
360
00:18:09,016 --> 00:18:10,030
Is anyone else hungry?
361
00:18:10,031 --> 00:18:12,030
We've got other things on our
plate at the moment.
362
00:18:12,031 --> 00:18:14,042
Well, I don't have a plate,
and that's what I'm saying -
363
00:18:14,044 --> 00:18:15,083
I thought there'd be nibbles.
364
00:18:15,084 --> 00:18:17,086
But, look, we are in
an art installation
365
00:18:17,087 --> 00:18:19,067
surrounded by wire and metal -
366
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:21,059
there has to be a
pair of pliers or
367
00:18:21,073 --> 00:18:23,075
bolt-cutters around
here somewhere!
368
00:18:23,076 --> 00:18:27,083
You know, I was in Homebase
only this morning.
369
00:18:27,084 --> 00:18:28,095
Yes?
370
00:18:28,096 --> 00:18:30,095
No. I... I was in
for a paint match.
371
00:18:30,096 --> 00:18:34,035
I just can't make up my mind
between Elephant's Breath
372
00:18:34,036 --> 00:18:35,059
and Clown's Pocket.
373
00:18:36,072 --> 00:18:37,086
Clown's Pocket?!
374
00:18:37,087 --> 00:18:38,566
Right, can I just
suggest we split
375
00:18:38,578 --> 00:18:40,067
up? It'll be
quicker that way.
376
00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:43,055
Fine, well, let's meet back here
in 15 minutes.
377
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:47,030
No, no, no... It
was Deep Cavern.
378
00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:50,002
And then, of course,
they all split up,
379
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:53,083
which is something you would
never do in that situation,
380
00:18:53,084 --> 00:18:56,064
and, before you know it,
there's another one gone.
381
00:18:58,059 --> 00:19:00,078
Are you still there, darling?
382
00:19:00,079 --> 00:19:02,071
I've not bored you
to death, have I?
383
00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:07,042
Carrie?
384
00:19:07,044 --> 00:19:09,059
Hello?
385
00:19:13,071 --> 00:19:15,095
Carrie?
386
00:19:15,096 --> 00:19:20,019
Carrie... Oh!
387
00:19:20,019 --> 00:19:21,028
Oh...
388
00:19:23,067 --> 00:19:25,038
Oh, dear God!
389
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,038
Help!
390
00:19:27,039 --> 00:19:29,058
Someone, please!
391
00:19:29,059 --> 00:19:32,000
We need help!
392
00:19:35,036 --> 00:19:36,064
Is someone there?
393
00:19:38,084 --> 00:19:39,087
Oh...
394
00:19:47,044 --> 00:19:49,072
Oh, oh...
395
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:52,059
Oh...
396
00:20:07,008 --> 00:20:08,056
I'm sorry, that stinks.
397
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,002
Let me check that.
398
00:21:14,003 --> 00:21:15,528
Here's what I found
on the web for
399
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:17,076
"how to use a stiletto
as a weapon".
400
00:21:21,028 --> 00:21:22,048
Is that you, Pat?
401
00:21:30,087 --> 00:21:33,075
Jesus Christ, not another one.
402
00:21:33,076 --> 00:21:36,031
It's worse than
a public information film.
403
00:22:09,019 --> 00:22:11,030
What is it? What's happened?
404
00:22:11,031 --> 00:22:12,058
It's in there.
405
00:22:12,059 --> 00:22:14,086
It's horrible.
406
00:22:14,087 --> 00:22:17,063
Well, flush it away!
407
00:22:17,064 --> 00:22:20,059
It's Pat. She's dead.
408
00:22:42,087 --> 00:22:44,047
Good God...
409
00:22:44,048 --> 00:22:47,019
What's happened to her eyes?
410
00:22:47,019 --> 00:22:48,022
What's going on?
411
00:22:48,023 --> 00:22:50,095
You don't want to know.
412
00:22:50,096 --> 00:22:52,084
It's Pat.
413
00:22:54,087 --> 00:22:57,028
Let's get out of here.
I found these, look!
414
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:03,087
Whatever happens,
stay close to me.
415
00:23:06,048 --> 00:23:09,083
Right, this should do it.
416
00:23:09,084 --> 00:23:12,010
I found these, by the way.
417
00:23:12,011 --> 00:23:13,047
They've got your name on.
418
00:23:13,048 --> 00:23:16,050
Oh, thank you.
It's my... my heart medication.
419
00:23:16,051 --> 00:23:18,007
Heart medication?
420
00:23:18,008 --> 00:23:20,042
Tacrolimus, yes,
it's an anti-rejection drug -
421
00:23:20,044 --> 00:23:22,027
I've had a heart transplant.
422
00:23:22,028 --> 00:23:23,042
When was this?
423
00:23:23,044 --> 00:23:25,030
Ah, three years ago now.
424
00:23:25,031 --> 00:23:27,086
I'm doing fine, touch wood.
425
00:23:27,087 --> 00:23:29,095
I had a lung transplant
three years ago -
426
00:23:29,096 --> 00:23:31,058
it saved my life.
427
00:23:31,059 --> 00:23:35,042
And Patricia had her eyes done -
two new Cornettos.
428
00:23:35,044 --> 00:23:38,002
That waitress, she had some
kind of skin graft...
429
00:23:38,003 --> 00:23:40,003
Yes, well, let's
get out of here
430
00:23:40,017 --> 00:23:42,027
first, and we can
ponder that later.
431
00:23:42,028 --> 00:23:43,064
I've nearly got it!
432
00:23:45,072 --> 00:23:48,070
Oh, my God!
He's got a heart condition!
433
00:23:48,072 --> 00:23:51,070
Those pills -
I found them in Carrie's hand.
434
00:23:51,072 --> 00:23:53,011
She's dead as well.
435
00:23:54,031 --> 00:23:56,050
Oh, my goodness.
436
00:23:56,051 --> 00:23:59,038
We're all dropping like flies.
437
00:23:59,039 --> 00:24:00,042
That must be the link -
438
00:24:00,044 --> 00:24:02,022
we've all had some kind of
transplant -
439
00:24:02,023 --> 00:24:04,019
but why would he want to kill us?
440
00:24:06,023 --> 00:24:07,063
What have we done wrong?
441
00:24:07,064 --> 00:24:12,075
Well, you shouldn't be smoking,
Kenneth,
442
00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:13,087
for a start...
443
00:24:29,023 --> 00:24:33,050
And it made me think about
my life and my work,
444
00:24:33,051 --> 00:24:35,078
and how I wanted
to be remembered,
445
00:24:35,079 --> 00:24:38,067
so I set about creating this
installation.
446
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:44,070
"Fragments" is an immersive work
that seeks to answer those
447
00:24:44,072 --> 00:24:46,035
big important questions -
448
00:24:46,036 --> 00:24:50,050
"Who are we?",
"How did we come to be here?",
449
00:24:50,051 --> 00:24:52,041
and, "If all the
world's a stage",
450
00:24:52,055 --> 00:24:54,055
then where does the
audience sit?"
451
00:24:54,056 --> 00:24:59,027
All of you have been hand-picked
to attend this evening.
452
00:24:59,028 --> 00:25:02,070
It's a very exclusive
private view.
453
00:25:02,071 --> 00:25:05,070
I hope, by the end, you know why.
454
00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:06,076
Enjoy.
455
00:25:20,092 --> 00:25:22,000
That was my son.
456
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,079
He died three years ago
of a brain tumour.
457
00:25:28,051 --> 00:25:33,055
Nothing else wrong with him
apart from that,
458
00:25:33,056 --> 00:25:37,055
so he decided to donate himself -
459
00:25:37,056 --> 00:25:40,055
every organ -
460
00:25:40,056 --> 00:25:44,095
and he told me to keep tabs
on all the people he helped,
461
00:25:44,096 --> 00:25:48,027
and to, erm, gather
them together.
462
00:25:48,028 --> 00:25:51,078
You were to be the art -
463
00:25:51,079 --> 00:25:55,083
a living exhibition -
464
00:25:55,084 --> 00:25:58,083
a celebration of him,
465
00:25:58,084 --> 00:26:04,008
and how his life gave others
a wonderful opportunity.
466
00:26:08,019 --> 00:26:10,048
But it didn't work out like that,
did it?
467
00:26:12,016 --> 00:26:14,083
I don't know what you mean.
468
00:26:14,084 --> 00:26:17,036
You squandered him!
469
00:26:18,084 --> 00:26:21,023
He was wasted on all of you!
470
00:26:22,023 --> 00:26:27,078
Like this fat pig, Neil Francis -
471
00:26:27,079 --> 00:26:29,071
a new kidney, and
still he gave
472
00:26:29,085 --> 00:26:31,087
himself diabetes by
eating too much.
473
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,999
And that waitress, she burnt
her skin off in a fire
474
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,019
she started herself
in some pathetic
475
00:26:39,032 --> 00:26:41,063
attempt at
attention-seeking.
476
00:26:41,064 --> 00:26:44,002
She had a piece of my son,
and still she sullied his flesh
477
00:26:44,003 --> 00:26:46,010
with self-pitying tattoos.
478
00:26:46,011 --> 00:26:48,055
I don't understand...
479
00:26:48,056 --> 00:26:52,058
And then there's that
talentless nonentity,
480
00:26:52,059 --> 00:26:56,083
just drinking like a fish
in some television reality show,
481
00:26:56,084 --> 00:26:59,064
despite having my son's liver.
482
00:27:02,016 --> 00:27:03,999
And then there's Patricia,
483
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,030
spending her days squinting
at her pornographic writings
484
00:27:07,031 --> 00:27:10,999
through the corneas
of my son's eyes.
485
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,050
And there's Kenneth Williams -
486
00:27:13,051 --> 00:27:14,095
still smoking,
487
00:27:14,096 --> 00:27:20,031
despite having the gift of
Elliot's right lung inside him.
488
00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:23,011
It was an e-cigarette.
489
00:27:24,044 --> 00:27:25,059
Still...
490
00:27:27,016 --> 00:27:30,035
And then there's you, Maurice.
491
00:27:30,036 --> 00:27:33,064
You were lucky enough
to get my son's heart.
492
00:27:35,056 --> 00:27:38,083
Yes. Yes, and I've
looked after it.
493
00:27:38,084 --> 00:27:41,067
I exercise, I watch what I eat...
494
00:27:41,067 --> 00:27:43,049
It still hasn't
stopped you becoming
495
00:27:43,063 --> 00:27:45,055
a heartless critic,
though, has it?
496
00:27:45,056 --> 00:27:47,067
Oh, that's a bit of a stretch.
497
00:27:47,067 --> 00:27:49,056
I'm a lecturer, not a critic!
498
00:27:50,072 --> 00:27:51,087
Doesn't matter.
499
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,083
You're undeserving,
500
00:27:55,084 --> 00:27:57,011
just like the others.
501
00:27:58,056 --> 00:28:02,003
Yeah, you've looked after
Elliot's heart well enough...
502
00:28:04,003 --> 00:28:07,016
but I'd like it
back now, please.
503
00:28:12,059 --> 00:28:19,031
It's time to complete
Elliot's masterpiece.
504
00:28:31,011 --> 00:28:32,998
Well, it's been
described by some
505
00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:35,007
as "ghoulish" and
"in poor taste",
506
00:28:35,008 --> 00:28:37,090
but the installation behind me
last night scooped
507
00:28:37,092 --> 00:28:40,035
the £40,000 Turner Prize,
508
00:28:40,036 --> 00:28:42,086
and has broken all
box-office records
509
00:28:42,087 --> 00:28:45,015
here at the Nine Gallery
in east London.
510
00:28:45,016 --> 00:28:47,058
Well, the artist behind this
extraordinary sculpture,
511
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:50,095
who's seemingly come from nowhere
to take the art world by storm,
512
00:28:50,096 --> 00:28:52,063
joins me now.
513
00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:54,030
Maurice Wickham, congratulations.
514
00:28:54,031 --> 00:28:55,035
Thank you.
515
00:28:55,036 --> 00:28:56,999
Now, talk us through
this exhibition,
516
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,035
because you've obviously
put your heart into it.
517
00:28:59,036 --> 00:29:01,051
Well, not quite.
37476
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