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1
00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:25,400
What about the others?
I'd be playing a dirty trick on them.
2
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:30,110
- They'll be happy you're gone.
- They have a war to win.
3
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,400
Well... what the hell.
4
00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:38,920
If they don't want any more missions,
let them stand up and say so.
5
00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:41,840
- Precisely.
- Exactly.
6
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:36,000
Help! Help!
7
00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:02,210
Help him!
8
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,790
- What?
- Help him! Help him!
9
00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:07,950
- Help who?
- Help the bombardier!
10
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:12,750
- I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.
- Then help him! Help HlM!
11
00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:29,110
- Snowden.
- What'd he say?
12
00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:33,480
- He said, "Snowden".
- Snowden's dead.
13
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,150
Snowden?
14
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:42,580
- Why's he talking to a dead man?
- He's Yossarian. He's crazy.
15
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,540
- Who says so?
- I do.
16
00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:48,910
- Cos I hate that son of a bitch?
- Who?
17
00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:51,460
- Colonel Cathcart.
- I didn't ask you.
18
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:54,340
- Cathcart isn't here.
- Who mentioned him?
19
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:57,470
- Colonel Korn isn't here.
- Who mentioned him?
20
00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,390
- Who do you hate?
- What son of a bitch lS here?
21
00:08:00,420 --> 00:08:03,850
- You don't make sense.
- You got a persecution complex.
22
00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:05,940
- Damn right.
- You admit it!
23
00:08:05,970 --> 00:08:08,940
I admit I'm being persecuted,
by them!
24
00:08:08,970 --> 00:08:13,810
- Who specifically is "them"?
- All of them! Who do you think?
25
00:08:13,850 --> 00:08:16,830
- I've no idea!
- Then how do you know they aren't?
26
00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:18,200
Ahhh!
27
00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:21,360
- That's sheer what-do-you-call-it.
- Sophistry.
28
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,670
Like hell it is, McWatt.
They're trying to kill me!
29
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,740
No one's trying to kill you.
Eat your dessert.
30
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:32,050
- Then why are they shooting at me?
- They're shooting at everyone.
31
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:36,970
- What difference does that make?
- Suppose everyone thought like you?
32
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,890
- I'd be a fool to think different.
- You need your head examined.
33
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,220
There's nothing wrong with it.
34
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:49,140
- Look at it once, will you?
- Yossarian, your head is OK.
35
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:52,470
Please, don't do that.
36
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:57,990
- Yes. What?
- Doc? Doc?
37
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:01,570
- I want you to ground me.
- Don't start that again.
38
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:11,550
- Doc, I don't want to fly any more.
- Why?
39
00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:13,630
It's dangerous.
40
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:17,930
Listen, I told you...
Let's get out of here, huh?
41
00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:23,710
I've flown 35 missions.
Now that nut has raised it to 50.
42
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,940
In any other outfit I would've been
rotated after 25. Help me out.
43
00:09:27,970 --> 00:09:30,860
I'm due for rotation myself soon
44
00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:34,070
if I don't cause trouble
or break any rules.
45
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:38,200
One rule says I can't ground anyone
just because he asks me to.
46
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:42,870
- Can you ground someone who's crazy?
- Of course. A rule says I have to.
47
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:46,000
- I'm crazy!
- Who says so?
48
00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:49,320
Ask Nately, Dobbs, McWatt...
Hey, Orr, tell him!
49
00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:51,530
- Tell him what?
- Am I crazy?
50
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:54,210
He's crazy, Doc.
He won't fly with me.
51
00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:58,300
I'd take good care of him
but he won't. He's crazy, all right.
52
00:09:58,330 --> 00:10:01,760
- See that? They all say I'm crazy.
- They're crazy.
53
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,720
- Why don't you ground them?
- Why don't they ask me?
54
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:08,050
- Because they're crazy!
- Of course they're crazy.
55
00:10:08,090 --> 00:10:13,100
You can't let crazy people decide
whether you're crazy or not, can you?
56
00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:17,600
- Is Orr crazy?
- Of course he is.
57
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:21,610
He has to be if he keeps flying
after all those close calls.
58
00:10:21,650 --> 00:10:24,620
- Then why don't you ground him?
- He has to ask me.
59
00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:27,120
- That's all he's gotta do?
- That's all.
60
00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:31,080
- Then you can ground him?
- No. Then l cannot ground him.
61
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,780
There's a catch.
62
00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:34,880
- A catch?
- Sure, Catch-22.
63
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:38,710
Anyone who wants to get out of combat
isn't really crazy,
64
00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:40,830
so I can't ground him.
65
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,960
OK. Let me see
if I got this straight.
66
00:10:45,010 --> 00:10:48,050
In order to be grounded,
I've got to be crazy
67
00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:50,430
and I must be crazy to keep flying.
68
00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:53,900
But if I ask to be grounded,
I'm not crazy any more
69
00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:57,280
- and I have to keep flying.
- You've got it! That's Catch-22.
70
00:10:57,310 --> 00:10:59,390
Whoooo!
71
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:08,610
- That's some catch, that Catch-22.
- It's the best there is!
72
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:16,240
Good afternoon, this is Major Danby,
your Flight Operations Officer,
73
00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:18,700
welcoming you to today's mission.
74
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:23,330
You've all been briefed on this
morning's run, so I won't go over it.
75
00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:27,960
There's no sense naming names
since the enemy is probably listening
76
00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:30,310
and there's no reason I can think of
77
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:32,980
to tell him
where we're going to strike.
78
00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:36,780
That's the stupidest goddamn thing
I ever heard him say.
79
00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:38,070
That's right!
80
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:41,980
Weather conditions
have improved tremendously,
81
00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:45,400
so you won't have any trouble
seeing the target.
82
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,520
Of course, you mustn't forget,
83
00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:51,530
that means that they will have
no trouble at all seeing you.
84
00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:55,910
Colonel Cathcart would like to say
a few words before takeoff.
85
00:11:55,950 --> 00:11:59,550
- And so, without further ado...
- Give me that!
86
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:03,800
Men, I'm not gonna waste
any more of your time than I have to.
87
00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:07,010
I wanna wish you good luck
on today's mission.
88
00:12:07,050 --> 00:12:09,890
To those of you
who won't be coming back,
89
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:14,510
we're gonna do our best to take care
of your wives and/or sweethearts.
90
00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:16,440
And don't forget,
91
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:20,530
General Dreedle wants to see
a nice, tight bombing pattern
92
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,980
on those aerial photographs.
93
00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:25,100
Everyone ready to go?
94
00:14:38,490 --> 00:14:42,030
- Colonel Korn, stay in the tower.
- Sir?
95
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,720
Stay on top of this. I'd like to know
when my boys make target.
96
00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:48,660
Yes, sir!
97
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:51,890
What is it, Lieutenant Minderbinder?
98
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:56,310
- An egg, sir.
- I know that, Lieutenant.
99
00:14:56,340 --> 00:15:00,270
- A fresh egg, sir.
- Where did you get the egg?
100
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:06,010
In Malta, sir, where there are
enough chickens to lay fresh eggs
101
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:08,480
for every officer in the squadron,
102
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:12,660
at five cents apiece
from the mess fund.
103
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:17,580
- Yes?
- With a profit of two cents per egg.
104
00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:19,580
For whom?
105
00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:25,410
Sir, for whomever sells the eggs
to the mess.
106
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:29,760
- And who may that be, Milo?
- Ah, sir.
107
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:33,140
- Oranges from Marrakech, pecans...
- Pecans?
108
00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:37,670
And in Palermo, 10,000 gallons
of the finest Italian olive oil.
109
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,310
The Sicilians need blankets.
It would be a fair trade.
110
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,730
They're interested in Sardinia.
111
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:48,270
All we need is the cooperation
of the countries we're dealing with.
112
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:49,900
What countries?
113
00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:54,520
The African nations, countries
in the Greater Mediterranean area.
114
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:58,500
So what we need is an additional
assignment of personnel,
115
00:15:58,530 --> 00:16:01,370
a little time and a plane.
116
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:04,500
- What plane?
- One of ours, sir. If I had one,
117
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:08,080
I could get the gasoline to Malta
and bring the eggs back.
118
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,790
All right.
119
00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:14,720
And if I was taken off combat duty
until I get this into operation...
120
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:16,010
But Milo...
121
00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:19,090
I know, sir,
I'm just an acting mess officer
122
00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:23,310
but it requires my full attention.
It's to everyone's benefit.
123
00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:26,110
- Take whatever you need.
- Thank you.
124
00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:30,150
I hope to give the men the finest
cuisine in the entire world.
125
00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:31,650
Uh-huh...
126
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:36,270
- Isn't that something to shoot at?
- Yes, Milo, it certainly is.
127
00:16:44,660 --> 00:16:49,380
With your permission, I'd like to
show you something I've had printed.
128
00:16:49,410 --> 00:16:52,620
- What is it?
- Just an idea, sir. It's a share.
129
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:55,390
- A share?
- In M&M Enterprises.
130
00:16:55,420 --> 00:17:00,170
If we get my ideas into practice,
it should be organized like a mart.
131
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:02,800
- A mart?
- Yes, sir, a syndicate.
132
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,720
An enterprise. There are tremendous
profits to be made, Colonel.
133
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,820
- For us?
- For everyone.
134
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:14,020
What will be good for M&M Enterprises
will be good for the country.
135
00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:18,450
- You'll have our full cooperation.
- Thank you, sir.
136
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:23,490
If I take a plane this afternoon,
I'll get this material to Alexandria.
137
00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:26,620
- There's a huge cotton crop.
- Cotton?
138
00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:29,780
- Cotton is a very liquid commodity.
- How much?
139
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:33,290
- We'll trade for it, sir.
- With what?
140
00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:35,720
Silk! 4,000 yards of silk.
141
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:40,140
How in the world
did you get hold of so much silk?
142
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:42,470
Where the hell's my parachute?
143
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:49,310
OK, all right, which one of you
bastards stole my parachute?
144
00:17:56,270 --> 00:18:01,440
Hello, hello, this is the bombardier
here. We gotta turn back.
145
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,750
Uh, Nately, we gotta turn back now.
146
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,580
Nately! Do you hear me up there?
147
00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:12,130
We gotta turn back.
OK, we're gonna turn back now.
148
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:16,300
Nately, let's turn back.
We're gonna turn back!
149
00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:19,430
What is it this time, Yossarian?
150
00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:23,000
Some bastard stole my chute! Aahh!
151
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:27,310
- Anything the matter?
- My parachute. It's gone!
152
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:30,230
- Don't worry about it.
- What do you mean?
153
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:34,110
What do I do if I have to bail out,
use my handkerchief?!
154
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:38,810
That kind of humor in the face
of adversity keeps America strong.
155
00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:40,490
I like you, Yossarian.
156
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,730
Aardvark, I'd like to kill you
but I haven't got time.
157
00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:46,960
You could have my chute
but I gave it to Milo.
158
00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:50,110
- You gave it to Milo?
- He's got all the chutes.
159
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,840
He's got a hell of a deal going
for silk in Alexandria.
160
00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:56,260
Maybe I do have time to kill...
161
00:18:56,290 --> 00:19:00,140
- Looks like they've seen us coming.
- They've seen us!
162
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:05,170
- Oh, God, they've seen us!
- Get ready to dump those eggs.
163
00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:13,650
They're shooting at me! Where are we?
164
00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:17,610
Aardvark, where are we?
165
00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:27,780
- I think we're there.
- 'We're there?'
166
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,450
We're there? We're there!
167
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,040
Get ready to turn!
168
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,130
Four, three...
169
00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:44,330
two, one, drop! Let's go!
170
00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:48,310
Turn right hard! Turn, turn!
171
00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:52,270
Turn, you son of a bitch! Turn right!
172
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:56,150
- Turn, turn right!
- Look at that, will you?
173
00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:59,110
I think we've got 'em this time,
where it hurts.
174
00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:01,140
- Get out.
- I can't hear you.
175
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:03,770
- Get back in the ship!
- What's that?
176
00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:08,230
Oh, climb, you bastard! Climb! Climb!
177
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:14,450
- Fire! Fire on board!
- Fire? Where's the fire?
178
00:20:14,490 --> 00:20:18,250
- Get out of the nose!
- 'I'm not in the nose.'
179
00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:20,450
Speak up. I still can't hear you.
180
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:23,260
They're trying to kill us.
Get out of here!
181
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:27,880
- 'Which way should I go?'
- Turn left, you son of a bitch!
182
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,600
Look, there goes Orr.
183
00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:39,140
That stupid little bastard. Pull out!
184
00:20:47,610 --> 00:20:51,710
Hey, I think you've caught
a little something there.
185
00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:53,900
Is it my leg?
186
00:20:54,990 --> 00:20:56,880
Hey, is that my leg?
187
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:02,510
- What's with my leg?
- Take it easy.
188
00:21:02,540 --> 00:21:04,620
My leg!
189
00:21:09,130 --> 00:21:11,770
Yossarian's caught one.
190
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,010
- What's that?
- 'Help him!'
191
00:21:17,050 --> 00:21:19,610
- What?
- 'Help him! Help him!'
192
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,740
- Help who?
- 'Help the bombardier!'
193
00:21:22,770 --> 00:21:27,270
- I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.
- 'Then help him! Help HlM!'
194
00:22:06,690 --> 00:22:09,370
It's, uh...
195
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,110
- What's his name, the new gunner?
- 'Snowden.'
196
00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:15,240
Yeah.
197
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,280
Snowden.
198
00:22:58,490 --> 00:23:02,830
- I'm cold.
- OK. You're gonna be OK.
199
00:23:02,870 --> 00:23:06,500
I'm cold. I'm cold.
200
00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:22,800
Over here! Hurry up!
201
00:23:23,890 --> 00:23:26,110
Hey!
202
00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:38,250
- What?
- I asked how you were feeling.
203
00:24:44,470 --> 00:24:46,520
Oh.
204
00:24:47,770 --> 00:24:50,440
Better, thank you.
205
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,700
What about you?
206
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,070
Me? Fairly well, thank you.
207
00:24:58,110 --> 00:25:00,440
You're welcome.
208
00:25:01,530 --> 00:25:05,540
- Except for a slight head cold.
- Mmm.
209
00:25:06,620 --> 00:25:10,130
Had it for about a week,
can't seem to shake it.
210
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,660
Well, you know what they're like.
211
00:25:12,710 --> 00:25:16,470
No, l, uh... I don't.
212
00:25:17,630 --> 00:25:21,510
I've never really had a head cold.
I've tried but...
213
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:27,390
Can't seem to be able to get one.
214
00:25:27,430 --> 00:25:30,150
Well, you're very lucky.
215
00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:35,060
Yes, I suppose I am.
216
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,330
Except for this piece of shrapnel
I caught in my leg.
217
00:25:41,530 --> 00:25:43,610
Yes.
218
00:25:46,530 --> 00:25:51,000
I've never caught
a piece of shrapnel.
219
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,420
Mmm.
220
00:26:04,510 --> 00:26:06,980
You're a chaplain!
221
00:26:07,010 --> 00:26:09,860
Yes. Didn't you know that?
222
00:26:09,890 --> 00:26:15,240
No, I didn't. I've never
really seen a chaplain before.
223
00:26:15,270 --> 00:26:19,230
I had no idea chaplains
looked like that.
224
00:26:19,270 --> 00:26:20,910
Well...
225
00:26:20,940 --> 00:26:25,530
Well, if I can do anything
to help you, anything at all, you...
226
00:26:25,570 --> 00:26:27,960
Anything?
227
00:26:29,030 --> 00:26:32,410
Like books, or-or... cigarettes.
228
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:35,160
Toys?
229
00:26:35,210 --> 00:26:38,720
No, I have everything I need,
thank you very much.
230
00:26:39,790 --> 00:26:42,290
Ah...
231
00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:45,020
- You could do one thing for me.
- What?
232
00:26:45,050 --> 00:26:49,100
- You could speak to Major Duluth.
- The Squadron Commander?
233
00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:51,110
I don't want to fly any more.
234
00:26:51,140 --> 00:26:55,610
Cathcart raised the number of
missions! He's trying to kill us all!
235
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,350
- I can't do it, I'm desperate!
- It's not my business...
236
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:03,330
- I'm desperate!
- I’ll see what I can do.
237
00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:06,570
I really will,
I’ll... I’m gonna do my best.
238
00:27:22,590 --> 00:27:26,100
It takes me 45 minutes
to do this thing.
239
00:27:26,130 --> 00:27:28,550
First I sauté the chicken parts,
240
00:27:28,590 --> 00:27:31,350
then I put the raisins
and the onions in.
241
00:27:31,390 --> 00:27:34,980
Three packets of garlic,
don't forget the garlic.
242
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,330
He-he yelled.
243
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,510
I'm... I'm awfully sorry, sir.
244
00:28:02,540 --> 00:28:05,560
- What's your name?
- Major, sir.
245
00:28:05,590 --> 00:28:08,430
Not your rank, I asked your name.
246
00:28:08,470 --> 00:28:13,690
No, sir. I'm a captain.
My name is Major. Captain Major.
247
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,220
Just about as clear as mud, isn't it?
248
00:28:16,270 --> 00:28:18,940
That's what it's just about
as clear as.
249
00:28:18,980 --> 00:28:23,980
Listen, Captain. You know
Major Duluth, the Squadron Commander?
250
00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:26,360
- He's a fine man, sir.
- Was.
251
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,250
- Sir?
- Major Duluth is dead.
252
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,580
I'm distraught to hear that, sir.
253
00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:36,920
You may be distraught but he's dead.
Shot down over Perugia today.
254
00:28:36,950 --> 00:28:42,340
That'll teach him to go on missions
when he should be in the office.
255
00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:46,050
- I don't see...
- We need a new Squadron Commander.
256
00:28:46,090 --> 00:28:50,310
And you're the only major available
on our headquarters staff.
257
00:28:50,340 --> 00:28:52,640
No, Major is my name, not my rank.
258
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:56,640
That's close enough for me, Major.
Consider yourself a major.
259
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,970
I don't know anything
about being a commander.
260
00:29:00,020 --> 00:29:02,780
We all have to make sacrifices,
Major.
261
00:29:02,810 --> 00:29:05,230
Sir, I'm in Billeting and Laundry!
262
00:29:05,270 --> 00:29:09,410
I know that, sir, but we all
have to do our part, I guess.
263
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,250
Well, I don't like my part.
264
00:29:20,500 --> 00:29:24,590
Sergeant, I'm going to take
the rest of the afternoon off
265
00:29:24,630 --> 00:29:29,550
and lie down in my tent
and think about things.
266
00:29:29,590 --> 00:29:32,850
Sir, there's someone
waiting to see you.
267
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,270
- Now?
- Yes, sir.
268
00:29:36,550 --> 00:29:40,400
- Who is it?
- Captain Tappman, Group Chaplain.
269
00:29:40,430 --> 00:29:41,990
What does he want?
270
00:29:42,020 --> 00:29:46,110
I don't know, sir, something to do
with Captain Yossarian.
271
00:29:48,860 --> 00:29:51,620
Look, um, Sergeant...
272
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,320
My job is tough enough
273
00:29:55,360 --> 00:30:00,000
without having to deal all the time
with people who want something.
274
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,510
- Do I make myself clear?
- Yes, sir.
275
00:30:02,540 --> 00:30:04,840
I suppose
you're wondering about this.
276
00:30:04,870 --> 00:30:07,590
Sir, it's not my place to wonder.
277
00:30:07,630 --> 00:30:11,220
- Did you know people stare at me?
- No, sir.
278
00:30:11,260 --> 00:30:13,840
They think, "Who is that Major Major,
279
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:17,840
"that he gets to be commander
without ever having flown?"
280
00:30:17,890 --> 00:30:21,760
- I don't think people think that.
- Well, they do.
281
00:30:21,810 --> 00:30:25,150
When I have this on,
they don't know who I am.
282
00:30:26,230 --> 00:30:29,030
Did... Did you know
in the Middle Ages
283
00:30:29,070 --> 00:30:33,570
princes and kings put on disguises
and walked around their subjects?
284
00:30:33,610 --> 00:30:37,540
- I didn't know that.
- You don't know everything, do you?
285
00:30:37,570 --> 00:30:42,130
- No, sir. Why did they do that?
- Why did who do what?!
286
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,050
Why did they walk around in disguise?
287
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:50,000
How the hell am I supposed to know?
I'm not some historian or anything.
288
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:55,180
I'm just a guy trying to do his job.
Good afternoon, Sergeant.
289
00:30:56,260 --> 00:30:58,010
Sir?
290
00:30:58,050 --> 00:31:01,150
- What is it now?
- What do I do with the Chaplain?
291
00:31:01,180 --> 00:31:05,650
I don't want anyone to come
and see me while I'm in my office.
292
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,530
What do I say to people
who want to see you?
293
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,980
- Ask them to wait.
- For how long?
294
00:31:11,020 --> 00:31:12,490
Until I've left.
295
00:31:12,530 --> 00:31:14,410
- Then what?
- I don't care.
296
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,210
- I send them in after you've left?
- Yes.
297
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,570
- You won't be here then.
- No.
298
00:31:19,620 --> 00:31:22,740
Also, I don't want you coming in
while I'm here
299
00:31:22,790 --> 00:31:25,340
asking if there's anything
you can do.
300
00:31:25,370 --> 00:31:28,300
When should I ask
if there's anything I can do?
301
00:31:28,330 --> 00:31:30,250
When I'm not there!
302
00:31:30,290 --> 00:31:33,470
- What do I do then?
- Whatever has to be done.
303
00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:38,340
I'm sorry to have to talk
to you this way, but I have to.
304
00:31:38,380 --> 00:31:40,880
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, sir.
305
00:31:46,850 --> 00:31:49,320
- Sergeant?
- Yes, sir?
306
00:31:49,350 --> 00:31:53,060
- Thank you, for everything.
- Thank you, sir.
307
00:31:58,450 --> 00:32:00,610
Major will see you now, Father.
308
00:32:00,660 --> 00:32:02,740
Thank you.
309
00:32:02,780 --> 00:32:07,170
- You don't have to call me Father.
- Sergeant Towser speaking.
310
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,200
Will you go in?
311
00:32:09,250 --> 00:32:12,510
Yes, sir. I have it here, sir.
312
00:32:19,590 --> 00:32:21,640
There's no one here.
313
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,260
- Where?
- In Major Major's office.
314
00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:28,360
- When?
- When you go to see him.
315
00:32:28,390 --> 00:32:32,450
What I mean is you can't see him
when he's there,
316
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:36,440
when he's in his office,
I've tried several times.
317
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,330
- When can you see him? Ever?
- Yes, yes.
318
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:43,160
Yes, indeed, you can see him
when he isn't there.
319
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,670
That is, he'll see you, all right,
320
00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:50,410
but only in his office
and only when he's not there.
321
00:32:50,460 --> 00:32:53,500
The other times, when he's in...
322
00:32:54,590 --> 00:32:58,300
he's not... there...
323
00:32:58,340 --> 00:33:00,390
to be seen.
324
00:33:00,420 --> 00:33:02,260
Except when he's out.
325
00:33:02,300 --> 00:33:04,850
What the hell
are you talking about, Father?
326
00:33:05,930 --> 00:33:08,970
- Sir?
- Get your ass in here, Padre.
327
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,740
Are you describing
some mystical experience?
328
00:33:14,770 --> 00:33:17,360
Some peculiar things are happening.
329
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,750
- You haven't had ecstatic visions?
- No, sir.
330
00:33:20,780 --> 00:33:23,990
Didn't see a burning bush,
hear any voices?
331
00:33:24,030 --> 00:33:27,240
- Nothing quite so extraordinary.
- I hope not.
332
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:31,250
We have to keep our supernatural
episodes down to a minimum,
333
00:33:31,290 --> 00:33:35,220
- with a war to win and all that.
- Absolutely, sir.
334
00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:38,880
- May I ask where we're going?
- Where WE'RE going?
335
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,930
You are going
to Colonel Cathcart's office.
336
00:33:41,970 --> 00:33:46,020
- Now?
- That's the general idea, Padre.
337
00:33:46,050 --> 00:33:49,820
Uh, i-is there anything wrong?
Have I done anything?
338
00:33:49,850 --> 00:33:54,110
I don't know. Are you and
Captain Yossarian up to something?
339
00:33:54,150 --> 00:33:57,160
- I don't know what you mean.
- Then who does?
340
00:33:57,190 --> 00:34:01,530
- I don't know, sir.
- You don't know much about anything.
341
00:34:01,570 --> 00:34:05,080
- No, sir. Sir?
- What is it?
342
00:34:05,110 --> 00:34:09,500
It's not necessary to call me Father.
I'm an Anabaptist.
343
00:34:09,540 --> 00:34:12,830
Well, thanks for
setting me straight on that.
344
00:34:12,870 --> 00:34:16,830
- I thought you'd like to know.
- You're a captain, right?
345
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,720
- I’m a lieutenant colonel. Correct?
- Yes, sir, it is.
346
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:25,840
Then I can call you anything I want,
unless you have some objections.
347
00:34:25,890 --> 00:34:28,190
- Out!
- Thank you, sir.
348
00:34:30,220 --> 00:34:33,030
Uh, sir, do you think now...?
349
00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:38,600
- Morning. Anything I can get you?
- Morning, Lieutenant. What?
350
00:34:38,650 --> 00:34:41,150
- Do you need any supplies?
- No.
351
00:34:41,190 --> 00:34:44,400
Whiskey, silk stockings, fresh fruit?
352
00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:48,950
The Colonel loves fresh fruit.
What about religious supplies?
353
00:34:48,990 --> 00:34:52,840
I can get hold of an entire
shipment of religious relics,
354
00:34:52,870 --> 00:34:54,950
blessed by the Pope himself.
355
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,510
Includes the wrist and collar bones
of some of your top saints.
356
00:34:58,540 --> 00:35:03,430
- That's very kind of you.
- If you need anything, ask for Milo.
357
00:35:03,460 --> 00:35:07,730
- I've never been issued a blanket.
- Anything at all, now!
358
00:35:21,570 --> 00:35:24,040
Yeah?
359
00:35:24,070 --> 00:35:27,330
I think the Colonel wants to see me.
360
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,290
- He does?
- I believe so. I'm...
361
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,280
- Chaplain Tappman.
- You're Chaplain Tappman?
362
00:35:34,330 --> 00:35:38,260
Have a seat. I’ll tell the Colonel
you're here, Father.
363
00:35:38,290 --> 00:35:40,370
It's not...
364
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,940
You'd better get some dry things.
365
00:35:56,020 --> 00:35:59,700
Oh, I will, as soon as the Colonel
is through with me.
366
00:36:02,690 --> 00:36:06,070
- They just got me out of the sea.
- They did?
367
00:36:06,110 --> 00:36:10,830
- I drifted for almost three days.
- You should report to the hospital.
368
00:36:10,870 --> 00:36:14,410
- You could catch pneumonia.
- Oh, no, not me.
369
00:36:14,450 --> 00:36:17,630
- This is my fourth time.
- How do you mean?
370
00:36:17,660 --> 00:36:21,460
I've put down in the Mediterranean
once, once in the Adriatic,
371
00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:25,210
then I crash-landed one plane
and I bailed out once.
372
00:36:26,510 --> 00:36:29,850
- You're very lucky.
- That's what some folks say.
373
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:34,300
Yossarian says they're gonna start
taking it out of my salary.
374
00:36:34,350 --> 00:36:35,860
Yossarian?
375
00:36:35,890 --> 00:36:39,940
- He's a friend. Do you know him?
- Yes, as a matter of fact...
376
00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:42,910
- Captain Tappman!
- Yes?
377
00:36:44,770 --> 00:36:48,950
- Perhaps you shouldn't fly any more.
- It's good practice.
378
00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:54,380
- Tappman, the Colonel is a busy man.
- Yes, of course.
379
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:06,420
Well, Chaplain, we don't see
much of you around here lately.
380
00:37:06,460 --> 00:37:11,020
Well, sir, I try to stay
out of the way as much as possible.
381
00:37:11,050 --> 00:37:15,270
- I make the men uncomfortable.
- Nonsense!
382
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:19,970
I can't imagine any man not enjoying
the benefits of your presence.
383
00:37:20,020 --> 00:37:23,390
Unless, of course, they're atheists.
384
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,150
- Not much chance of that, though.
- I don't know, sir.
385
00:37:27,190 --> 00:37:29,870
- Isn't atheism against the law?
- No.
386
00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:33,780
It isn't?
Then it's un-American, isn't it?
387
00:37:33,820 --> 00:37:36,540
- I'm not sure.
- Well, I am.
388
00:37:36,580 --> 00:37:38,960
If I find any atheists on this base,
389
00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:42,710
you can bet they'll soon
start believing in something.
390
00:37:42,750 --> 00:37:46,010
That's not why
I called you in, Chaplain.
391
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,970
I want you to take a look at this.
392
00:37:50,300 --> 00:37:52,520
Page 48.
393
00:37:55,470 --> 00:38:00,390
Don't read the whole thing. You can
get the point from the photographs.
394
00:38:00,430 --> 00:38:03,640
There's a full-page picture
of a Colonel in England
395
00:38:03,690 --> 00:38:07,280
whose chaplain conducts prayers
before every mission.
396
00:38:07,310 --> 00:38:10,330
I see no reason why
the Saturday Evening Post
397
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,790
should not be interested
in the story of my outfit.
398
00:38:13,820 --> 00:38:19,130
Think up some nice, snappy prayers
to send the men out feeling good.
399
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,170
Can you do that? Hm?
400
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,830
- I’ll try.
- Well, good! Let's get to it!
401
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,000
Yes, sir.
402
00:38:35,220 --> 00:38:37,770
Is there something else?
403
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,050
Sir, it may be none of my business
404
00:38:40,100 --> 00:38:45,020
but some of the men are
particularly upset about the fact
405
00:38:45,060 --> 00:38:49,320
that you keep raising the number
of missions they have to fly.
406
00:38:51,980 --> 00:38:55,080
- You're right, Chaplain.
- I am, sir?
407
00:38:55,110 --> 00:38:59,250
That it's none of your business.
And it's none of theirs either.
408
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,000
Their business is to fly missions.
409
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,920
Your business is to
think up catchy prayers
410
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,880
that'lI get me into
the Saturday Evening Post.
411
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,890
- Good afternoon, Chaplain!
- Yes, sir.
412
00:39:13,550 --> 00:39:18,020
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me, Padre.
413
00:39:23,100 --> 00:39:28,100
He says the men are upset because l
keep raising the number of missions.
414
00:39:28,150 --> 00:39:30,530
- Yossarian.
- What?
415
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:35,150
It's that Captain Yossarian. He's
always bitching and making trouble.
416
00:39:35,190 --> 00:39:39,460
- What can we do about it?
- What would General Dreedle do?
417
00:39:39,780 --> 00:39:41,670
He'd crush him.
418
00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:44,090
- Tear him apart!
- Smack him in the face!
419
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,170
- Jab him in the kidneys!
- Kick him in the balls!
420
00:39:53,500 --> 00:39:57,350
Keep your head down
between your legs.
421
00:39:57,380 --> 00:39:59,940
Try to breathe deeply and evenly.
422
00:39:59,970 --> 00:40:04,190
I'm sorry, Captain.
I know how that must feel.
423
00:40:04,220 --> 00:40:06,720
- I don't think so.
- Try not to talk.
424
00:40:06,770 --> 00:40:09,610
Just think about nice things.
425
00:40:09,650 --> 00:40:12,620
Think about how lovely it is here,
426
00:40:12,650 --> 00:40:18,080
how lovely it could be if someone
didn't always try to spoil it.
427
00:40:18,110 --> 00:40:21,710
- Why do you always try to spoil it?
- Because I love you.
428
00:40:21,740 --> 00:40:24,840
I know that, Captain. I know that.
429
00:40:24,870 --> 00:40:29,010
But this is wartime.
We've got a job to do, soldier.
430
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:33,000
We just can't give in to ourselves.
Think how it is for me.
431
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:37,630
One of a handful of women
on an island with thousands of men.
432
00:40:37,670 --> 00:40:42,150
Men who are giving up their lives
for our country, for me.
433
00:40:42,180 --> 00:40:45,800
Think about... Captain Yossarian!
434
00:40:45,850 --> 00:40:48,490
What are you doing?
435
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,600
Listen, I'm gonna die.
436
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,820
- No, no. No, no, no, no.
- Yes, mm!
437
00:40:53,860 --> 00:40:58,360
Oh, God. Oh...
438
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:02,030
What is it?
439
00:41:02,070 --> 00:41:04,410
- What's the matter?
- Oh!
440
00:41:04,450 --> 00:41:09,590
The name of the town is Ferrara
and it's right around here.
441
00:41:09,620 --> 00:41:13,170
It's a very pretty town,
on the coast...
442
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:18,810
- You all right?
- It's her, it's her!
443
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:22,130
- Who? Who?
- Dreedle's WAC!
444
00:41:22,180 --> 00:41:26,730
If you do your job well,
there won't be much left, anyway.
445
00:41:27,810 --> 00:41:32,730
Intelligence reports indicate you
shouldn't have to worry about flak.
446
00:41:32,770 --> 00:41:36,780
We were hoping for some
new recon photos of the area.
447
00:41:36,820 --> 00:41:41,620
Unfortunately, they haven't arrived
but then, no news is good news.
448
00:41:41,650 --> 00:41:43,990
A lot of you may ask yourselves,
449
00:41:44,030 --> 00:41:47,990
"How come we're out
to destroy a town with no industry,
450
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,670
"no enemy bases,
no strategic value to anyone?"
451
00:41:53,750 --> 00:41:55,830
Attention!
452
00:42:04,430 --> 00:42:08,020
As you were.
Good morning, gentlemen.
453
00:42:08,060 --> 00:42:12,530
We're honored to have
General Dreedle at today's briefing.
454
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:16,610
Don't pay any attention to me,
just carry on as usual.
455
00:42:16,650 --> 00:42:20,870
- Don't pay any attention to Dad.
- Will you clam up?
456
00:42:22,070 --> 00:42:24,290
Don't call me Dad.
457
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:29,880
- Go ahead with your briefing, Major.
- Yes, well... Thank you, sir.
458
00:42:30,950 --> 00:42:33,760
I was just telling
the men here that...
459
00:42:33,790 --> 00:42:37,890
- Don't tell me. Tell them!
- Tell the men, Danby.
460
00:42:39,380 --> 00:42:43,770
Yes. I was just explaining
why we're going to obliterate...
461
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,900
- What about a chair?
- Sir?
462
00:42:49,310 --> 00:42:52,150
- A chair.
- I beg your pardon, General?
463
00:42:52,180 --> 00:42:54,900
A chair!
464
00:42:54,940 --> 00:42:57,570
Doesn't anyone know what a chair is?!
465
00:43:01,110 --> 00:43:03,660
Can't you see a lady is standing?
466
00:43:03,690 --> 00:43:06,660
A chair for Dad's gir... for the lady!
467
00:43:22,210 --> 00:43:24,180
Carry on.
468
00:43:24,220 --> 00:43:27,840
We're now going
to synchronize our watches.
469
00:43:27,890 --> 00:43:30,270
Now, we've all done this before,
470
00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:33,430
so I don't think
we're going to have any problem.
471
00:43:34,770 --> 00:43:40,200
If everyone will be kind enough to
look down at his watch, we'll begin.
472
00:43:40,230 --> 00:43:46,080
It is now 1 1 15 hours minus 50...
473
00:43:46,110 --> 00:43:49,740
- 49, 48, 47...
- Mmm.
474
00:43:49,780 --> 00:43:54,500
46, 45, 44, 43...
475
00:43:54,540 --> 00:43:57,010
- Mmmmm.
- Yossarian.
476
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:02,430
- Ohh... Oh-oh...
- ..40, 39, 38, 37...
477
00:44:02,460 --> 00:44:04,960
..36, 35...
478
00:44:05,010 --> 00:44:09,060
- ..34, 33, 32...
- Mmm.
479
00:44:09,090 --> 00:44:12,220
- ..31, 30...
- Ohh-oh...
480
00:44:12,260 --> 00:44:16,930
..29, 28, 27...
481
00:44:16,980 --> 00:44:21,530
..26, 25, 24...
482
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:27,280
- Somebody's gonna get it!
- ..22, 21, 20...
483
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:31,170
..19, 18, 1 7...
484
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:36,170
..16, 15, 1 4, 1 3, 1 2...
485
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:40,160
- All right, at ease!
- ..1 1, 10, 9...
486
00:44:40,210 --> 00:44:43,890
There'll be no more moaning
in this outfit.
487
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:47,970
The next man who moans
is going to be very sorry.
488
00:44:48,010 --> 00:44:49,520
..one!
489
00:44:51,340 --> 00:44:53,760
Ohhh.
490
00:44:56,390 --> 00:44:59,190
Who is this man?
491
00:44:59,230 --> 00:45:02,270
- Major Danby, sir.
- Danby. D-A-N-B-Y.
492
00:45:02,310 --> 00:45:04,950
- Take him out and shoot him.
- Sir?
493
00:45:04,980 --> 00:45:09,950
- I said shoot him.
- Take Major Danby out and shoot him.
494
00:45:09,990 --> 00:45:12,870
I think you'd better
wait a minute, Dad.
495
00:45:12,910 --> 00:45:15,750
- What?
- I don't think you can shoot him.
496
00:45:15,790 --> 00:45:17,950
Why the hell can't l?
497
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,050
Why not?
498
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,260
You mean I can't shoot
whoever I want to?
499
00:45:23,290 --> 00:45:26,260
- Is that a fact?
- I'm afraid it is, Dad.
500
00:45:26,300 --> 00:45:29,220
You think you're pretty smart,
don't you?
501
00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:33,760
Just because my half-wit daughter
married you for some reason...
502
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,640
Oh, no, Dad, it's just...
503
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:39,820
Let the insubordinate son of a bitch
go but get him out of here.
504
00:45:41,940 --> 00:45:45,700
- Better do something.
- All right, men, I think we...
505
00:45:45,730 --> 00:45:50,570
owe a vote of thanks to the General
for visiting us and cheering us up.
506
00:45:50,610 --> 00:45:53,500
In his honor,
I'd like to make an announcement
507
00:45:53,530 --> 00:45:55,610
which may be of interest.
508
00:45:55,660 --> 00:45:58,380
I know you're anxious
to do your part...
509
00:45:58,410 --> 00:46:00,160
Here it comes.
510
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:03,970
As of now,
the number of missions required
511
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:08,140
before you are eligible for rotation
is raised to 75.
512
00:46:08,170 --> 00:46:12,560
I know we'll all do our best.
Ten-hut!
513
00:46:16,850 --> 00:46:20,860
What are you smiling at,
you silly bastard?
514
00:46:20,890 --> 00:46:23,650
- Now I won't have to go home.
- You what?
515
00:46:23,690 --> 00:46:26,270
I can stay.
I don't have to leave her.
516
00:46:26,310 --> 00:46:30,080
- What are you saying?
- I love her.
517
00:46:31,820 --> 00:46:37,530
I do. I really do. I've never felt
like this, not even for my mom.
518
00:46:37,580 --> 00:46:40,050
Men don't fall for girls like that.
519
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,630
Men always fall for girls like that.
520
00:46:42,660 --> 00:46:44,970
Ah, one or the other.
521
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,760
I'm gonna take her back
to Long Island.
522
00:46:47,790 --> 00:46:51,340
You don't really love her.
You think you love her.
523
00:46:51,380 --> 00:46:55,880
How can you tell the difference
between love and thinking it's love?
524
00:46:55,930 --> 00:46:58,970
- You have to be objective.
- Who's objective?
525
00:46:59,010 --> 00:47:01,860
I am,
because I'm not in love with her.
526
00:47:01,890 --> 00:47:04,740
- You mean you think you're not.
- Right.
527
00:47:04,770 --> 00:47:07,320
Then how can you tell the difference?
528
00:47:07,350 --> 00:47:09,410
Wait a second...
529
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,240
Hey, look!
530
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:16,950
- Look what Aarfy's got.
- Say goodbye, McWatt. Come on!
531
00:47:16,990 --> 00:47:21,740
- Figli Di puttana!
- My dear, we had a lovely day.
532
00:47:21,790 --> 00:47:26,050
Did you see what he did?
Make him tell you what he did.
533
00:47:28,630 --> 00:47:32,960
- What'd you do, Aarfy?
- Nothing. Nice girl. Very nice girl.
534
00:47:33,010 --> 00:47:36,970
She wanted us to go home with her
to show us a good time.
535
00:47:37,010 --> 00:47:41,230
We had a good time. We saw
the Colosseum and other swell sights.
536
00:47:41,260 --> 00:47:45,490
- Why didn't you take her home?
- I can't take advantage of a kid.
537
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:49,230
- Old Aarfy's got some principles.
- You've got a diseased mind.
538
00:47:49,270 --> 00:47:51,660
She just wanted to jump in the sack.
539
00:47:51,690 --> 00:47:54,820
She's mixed up.
I gave her a good talking to.
540
00:47:54,860 --> 00:47:56,860
He did!
541
00:47:56,900 --> 00:47:59,830
I straightened her out
and sent her home.
542
00:47:59,870 --> 00:48:02,790
- You crazy bastard!
- You're beneath contempt.
543
00:48:02,830 --> 00:48:06,200
- He's got a dirty mind.
- I don't see it that way.
544
00:48:06,250 --> 00:48:09,340
- They want us to go home with them.
- How much?
545
00:48:09,380 --> 00:48:11,590
- $30!
- Who's the little runt?
546
00:48:11,630 --> 00:48:13,540
Nately's whore's kid sister.
547
00:48:13,590 --> 00:48:17,100
I wanna spend some time with my girl.
I’ll pay for us.
548
00:48:17,130 --> 00:48:20,400
Give her the 30 bucks
and send the other two away.
549
00:48:20,430 --> 00:48:23,150
She'll be angry with me
for making her work.
550
00:48:23,180 --> 00:48:26,940
She said if I really loved her,
I'd sleep with the other two.
551
00:48:26,980 --> 00:48:29,060
I swear, you fellas...!
552
00:48:29,980 --> 00:48:32,400
Come on, Yossarian, let's go!
553
00:48:33,650 --> 00:48:35,730
Go on, you go.
554
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,700
- What's wrong?
- What isn't wrong?
555
00:48:39,740 --> 00:48:44,240
- Two more missions and we go home.
- You know what's gonna happen.
556
00:48:44,290 --> 00:48:48,300
No. Some replacement
pilots came into Naples yesterday.
557
00:48:48,330 --> 00:48:49,800
- Who says?
- Milo.
558
00:48:49,830 --> 00:48:52,590
He just left there
with loads of coconuts.
559
00:48:52,630 --> 00:48:56,250
We'll never see those replacements
or those coconuts.
560
00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:59,560
Cathcart wouldn't dare
raise the number again.
561
00:48:59,590 --> 00:49:04,260
Who's gonna stop him?
562
00:49:04,310 --> 00:49:06,560
Somebody will.
563
00:49:11,270 --> 00:49:13,350
Come on!
564
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:20,460
Nately! Hey, Nately, wait for me!
565
00:51:21,230 --> 00:51:25,460
All right. I want to get this clear.
566
00:51:26,530 --> 00:51:31,450
As l see it, we're giving these men
medals for doing a lousy job, right?
567
00:51:31,490 --> 00:51:33,710
That's not quite the situation.
568
00:51:33,750 --> 00:51:38,250
When I want you, I'll look at you,
which will be as seldom as possible.
569
00:51:38,290 --> 00:51:40,540
- I can explain it.
- You better.
570
00:51:40,590 --> 00:51:44,430
Yesterday's mission was to bomb
a town called Ferrara.
571
00:51:44,470 --> 00:51:45,730
Ferrara?
572
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,690
- Why Ferrara?
- What do you mean, "Why Ferrara?"
573
00:51:49,720 --> 00:51:53,980
- Do you know what Ferrara is?
- It's a town on a hill.
574
00:51:54,020 --> 00:51:57,730
- Do you know what's in that town?
- Five minutes to target.
575
00:51:57,770 --> 00:51:59,850
- What's in it?
- Nothing.
576
00:51:59,900 --> 00:52:03,950
- What?
- Nothing. No Germans, no munitions,
577
00:52:03,980 --> 00:52:07,610
no railroad crossing,
no harbor, nothing.
578
00:52:08,700 --> 00:52:13,920
- Nothing at all?
- No, except people. Italian people.
579
00:52:13,950 --> 00:52:16,200
And a monastery.
580
00:52:17,460 --> 00:52:21,140
Yossarian, maybe it's some kind
of strategy thing.
581
00:52:22,210 --> 00:52:26,850
- What the hell are we doing?
- It's not our business to ask.
582
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,810
- Whose business is it?
- Four minutes.
583
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:33,390
- Are you ready to go in?
- Get ready to dump.
584
00:52:33,430 --> 00:52:36,530
- We're not there yet!
- Get away, Aardvark!
585
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:40,160
- You'll screw up the whole mission!
- What's going on?
586
00:52:40,230 --> 00:52:42,990
- Get ready to turn!
- What are you doing?
587
00:52:43,020 --> 00:52:46,200
- Cut it out, Yossarian!
- Get ready to turn!
588
00:52:56,870 --> 00:53:00,380
A direct hit... on the ocean?
589
00:53:00,420 --> 00:53:03,300
Yes, sir. A marvelous bomb pattern.
590
00:53:03,340 --> 00:53:06,930
We have aerial photographs
if you'd like to see them.
591
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:11,880
We're decorating men who dropped
20 tons of very expensive bombs
592
00:53:11,930 --> 00:53:16,320
- on the Mediterranean?
- If you consider the alternative...
593
00:53:16,350 --> 00:53:21,070
The alternative is that we take
the whole crew out and shoot 'em.
594
00:53:21,100 --> 00:53:25,030
- Might be a problem there, sir.
- All right, I know.
595
00:53:25,070 --> 00:53:29,700
If we can't shoot the sons
of bitches, we can court-martial 'em,
596
00:53:29,740 --> 00:53:32,370
see that they rot in some stockade.
597
00:53:32,410 --> 00:53:37,750
Well, sir, we felt a court martial
might get unavoidable publicity.
598
00:53:37,790 --> 00:53:42,540
If it got around that we used one
of our missions to bomb the ocean...
599
00:53:42,580 --> 00:53:45,930
You don't have to say
anything more, Colonel.
600
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:50,300
Ho! Ten-hut! Right shoulder!
601
00:53:53,010 --> 00:53:54,760
Ten-hut!
602
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:09,370
"For distinguished duty in the face
of overwhelming" something...
603
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:11,120
- Odds.
- "..odds,
604
00:54:11,150 --> 00:54:15,210
"this Air Medal is awarded
to Captain JS..."
605
00:54:15,240 --> 00:54:17,570
- McWatt.
- "..McWatt."
606
00:54:22,620 --> 00:54:24,790
Come on, come on.
607
00:54:28,590 --> 00:54:32,270
All right, McWatt.
What are you waiting for, a kiss?
608
00:54:32,300 --> 00:54:36,350
- Get back in there.
- And on the double!
609
00:54:36,390 --> 00:54:38,690
"For meritorious action
610
00:54:38,720 --> 00:54:43,560
"in the face of concentrated
enemy fire, Captain..."
611
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:45,820
- What's this?
- Come on, dumbo.
612
00:54:45,860 --> 00:54:48,700
- Yossarian, sir.
- "Yossarian."
613
00:55:02,290 --> 00:55:05,410
Unless I miss my guess, Captain...
614
00:55:06,750 --> 00:55:09,960
you're out of uniform.
615
00:55:11,510 --> 00:55:14,390
What are you looking at?
616
00:55:14,430 --> 00:55:18,140
Get back in the car,
you smirking slut.
617
00:55:24,310 --> 00:55:27,850
Why aren't you
wearing clothes, Captain?
618
00:55:27,900 --> 00:55:33,240
- I don't want to.
- What do you mean? Why don't you?
619
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:35,580
I dunno, I just don't want to.
620
00:55:35,610 --> 00:55:39,670
- Why isn't he wearing clothes?
- He's talking to you.
621
00:55:39,700 --> 00:55:43,880
- Why is he naked, Major?
- Why is he naked, Sergeant?
622
00:55:43,910 --> 00:55:47,210
A man was killed in his plane
and bled all over him.
623
00:55:47,250 --> 00:55:49,250
His clothes are in the laundry.
624
00:55:49,290 --> 00:55:52,810
- His other uniforms?
- In the laundry, sir.
625
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,770
- Where is his underwear?
- In the laundry, sir.
626
00:55:57,930 --> 00:56:01,720
- That sounds like a lot of crap.
- Lt is a lot of crap, sir.
627
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:05,140
Sir, on my word this man
will be punished severely.
628
00:56:05,180 --> 00:56:08,110
What the hell do I care?
629
00:56:08,150 --> 00:56:11,660
If he wants to receive a medal
without any clothes on,
630
00:56:11,690 --> 00:56:13,740
what business is it of yours?
631
00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:18,160
- My sentiments exactly, sir.
- Here's your medal, Captain.
632
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,780
You're a very weird person,
Yossarian.
633
00:56:23,830 --> 00:56:25,090
Thank you, sir.
634
00:56:30,540 --> 00:56:32,710
- You are giving me this?
- Yes.
635
00:56:32,750 --> 00:56:35,170
- Perché?
- Because you're beautiful
636
00:56:35,210 --> 00:56:38,920
and because your name is Luciana -
my mother's name.
637
00:56:38,970 --> 00:56:42,810
But my name is Eleonora Rosanna,
I only call myself Luciana.
638
00:56:42,850 --> 00:56:46,110
Hey, my mother
only called herself Luciana!
639
00:56:46,140 --> 00:56:48,480
Her real name was Eleonora Rosanna.
640
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:52,480
- I don't believe you.
- I don't blame you.
641
00:56:54,780 --> 00:56:57,360
What you get this for?
642
00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:00,370
- Will you believe the truth?
- Yes.
643
00:57:00,410 --> 00:57:05,490
OK. I was awarded that
particular medal for killing fish.
644
00:57:05,540 --> 00:57:10,590
- Oh. You have killed many fish?
- Yes, I am one of the biggest...
645
00:57:10,620 --> 00:57:16,140
I am the most renowned killer of fish
in the whole US Army Air Force.
646
00:57:16,170 --> 00:57:18,090
OK.
647
00:57:19,180 --> 00:57:22,770
I dance with you
but I won't let you sleep with me.
648
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:26,010
- Who asked you?
- You don't want to sleep with me?
649
00:57:26,060 --> 00:57:29,490
- I don't wanna dance with you.
- You crazy.
650
00:57:34,190 --> 00:57:38,240
- Watch where you put your hands, Gl.
- My name is Yossarian.
651
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:41,820
Watch where you put your hands,
Yossarian.
652
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:11,800
It's, uh...
653
00:59:11,830 --> 00:59:15,540
- What's his name, the new gunner?
- 'Snowden.'
654
00:59:15,580 --> 00:59:17,670
Yeah.
655
00:59:20,380 --> 00:59:23,100
Snowden.
656
00:59:23,130 --> 00:59:25,020
I'm cold.
657
00:59:25,050 --> 00:59:28,510
OK. You're gonna be OK.
658
00:59:28,550 --> 00:59:31,570
I'm cold. Cold.
659
00:59:47,110 --> 00:59:50,710
- There.
- Starting to hurt me.
660
00:59:50,740 --> 00:59:54,590
OK. Hang on,
I’ll get you some morphine.
661
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:23,610
Milo!
662
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:28,080
- You prick!
- Hi! What's up?
663
01:00:28,110 --> 01:00:32,040
Hey, it's good to see you.
When did you get out of the hospital?
664
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:34,380
We've got things to talk over.
665
01:00:34,410 --> 01:00:38,800
How you feeling? Sorry I didn't visit
but I've been in Naples.
666
01:00:38,830 --> 01:00:41,880
- About that parachute...
- What parachute?
667
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:45,100
The one I use if I gotta
jump out of the plane.
668
01:00:45,130 --> 01:00:48,760
Ah, that parachute.
Remember that your parachute
669
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:52,810
was just one of 60 parachutes
taken over by the Syndicate.
670
01:00:52,850 --> 01:00:57,150
I don't care about the Syndicate.
I don't want your tomatoes!
671
01:00:57,180 --> 01:01:00,810
They're the Syndicate's tomatoes.
Our tomatoes.
672
01:01:00,860 --> 01:01:02,940
Just as these are our statues.
673
01:01:02,980 --> 01:01:07,120
In fact, that's where
all the parachutes went.
674
01:01:07,150 --> 01:01:09,740
You traded my parachute for statues?
675
01:01:09,780 --> 01:01:13,320
No. I traded our diesel engines
for the statues.
676
01:01:13,370 --> 01:01:16,710
- I don't have any engines!
- Not "your", "our".
677
01:01:16,750 --> 01:01:19,760
I got the engines
for two planeloads of lumber,
678
01:01:19,790 --> 01:01:22,260
100 pairs of shoes
and the parachutes.
679
01:01:22,290 --> 01:01:26,090
The men aren't gonna be happy
about what you're doing.
680
01:01:26,130 --> 01:01:30,470
Don't they understand? We're gonna
come out of this war rich.
681
01:01:30,510 --> 01:01:34,360
You're gonna come out rich.
We're gonna come out dead!
682
01:01:35,430 --> 01:01:39,110
- What does he want?
- Who?
683
01:01:39,140 --> 01:01:41,230
Hungry Joe.
684
01:01:43,610 --> 01:01:47,040
- What is the matter?
- I got a feeling.
685
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:51,530
- I think it is.
- What?
686
01:01:51,570 --> 01:01:53,570
- Come on.
- What is it?
687
01:01:53,620 --> 01:01:57,630
I don't know
but if it's what I think it is...
688
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:04,080
It's just McWatt.
689
01:02:04,130 --> 01:02:07,500
He's been doing it for months.
He's jealous of her.
690
01:02:07,550 --> 01:02:10,560
- She likes you better?
- She likes him better.
691
01:02:10,590 --> 01:02:14,900
- Why doesn't she go out with him?
- Because she can't stand him!
692
01:02:14,930 --> 01:02:16,930
- Good old McWatt.
- Why?
693
01:02:16,970 --> 01:02:19,280
He's carrying me on his manifest.
694
01:02:19,310 --> 01:02:22,680
Every time he goes up,
he files my name as a passenger.
695
01:02:22,730 --> 01:02:24,320
I can get my flight pay
696
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:28,540
without having to do anything stupid
like going up in a plane.
697
01:02:28,570 --> 01:02:31,610
- Look!
- What is he saying?
698
01:02:33,110 --> 01:02:35,200
He's coming back!
699
01:02:55,930 --> 01:02:58,970
- Who was it?
- Hungry Joe.
700
01:03:08,980 --> 01:03:13,900
We'll have to requisition
a new photographer from Group.
701
01:03:13,950 --> 01:03:16,200
Is there... anything...
702
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:19,530
I can do?
703
01:03:19,580 --> 01:03:21,910
McWatt's still up there.
704
01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:25,470
Doc Daneeka's up there, too.
705
01:03:26,540 --> 01:03:28,630
I'm right here.
706
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:31,960
Come on down, McWatt.
707
01:03:32,010 --> 01:03:36,680
Probably afraid to come down, he
knows what kind of trouble he's in.
708
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:42,900
- He cut his engine.
- McWatt!
709
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:49,120
Why doesn't Daneeka jump?
He's got a chute.
710
01:03:49,150 --> 01:03:52,490
I'm right here, Sergeant.
I'm not in the plane.
711
01:03:52,530 --> 01:03:54,690
Jump, Doc, jump!
712
01:03:55,780 --> 01:03:59,040
Jump. Jump, Doc...
713
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:01,160
Please jump.
714
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:06,510
Jump. Jump!
715
01:04:19,010 --> 01:04:21,100
Poor Hungry Joe.
716
01:04:22,810 --> 01:04:25,110
Poor McWatt.
717
01:04:25,140 --> 01:04:27,450
Poor Doc.
718
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:30,690
Yeah. Poor Doc.
719
01:04:33,860 --> 01:04:37,620
I’ll need a full report on this,
Captain Yossarian.
720
01:04:37,660 --> 01:04:42,740
Yossarian.
I haven't seen you in some time.
721
01:04:44,660 --> 01:04:46,720
Not since...
722
01:04:49,130 --> 01:04:52,470
- Snowden's funeral.
- Snowden.
723
01:04:56,800 --> 01:05:00,310
- Do you want to say something, sir?
- What?
724
01:05:01,390 --> 01:05:05,100
I just wondered
if you wanted to say anything.
725
01:05:05,140 --> 01:05:09,730
No, I didn't actually know
the young fellow.
726
01:05:09,770 --> 01:05:14,860
It was his first mission.
Did you know him, Danby?
727
01:05:14,900 --> 01:05:18,960
No, I don't think I ever
heard the name. What was it?
728
01:05:18,990 --> 01:05:22,110
- Snowden, I think.
- Oh, yes.
729
01:05:23,370 --> 01:05:27,160
Well, I’ll just read something.
730
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:30,180
Yes, you... you do that.
731
01:05:33,630 --> 01:05:38,430
- Is something wrong?
- No, I just thought I saw something.
732
01:05:41,220 --> 01:05:45,010
- A naked man in a tree?
- Yes, that's it.
733
01:05:49,480 --> 01:05:53,350
- That's just Yossarian.
- Oh.
734
01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:57,950
Oh. Well, in that case...
735
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:04,790
"The... Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
736
01:06:04,830 --> 01:06:08,170
"He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures..."
737
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:10,920
Hey!
738
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:16,040
- I've been looking all over for you.
- You should've looked in this tree.
739
01:06:16,090 --> 01:06:20,510
I don't want to butt in but why
aren't you wearing your uniform?
740
01:06:20,550 --> 01:06:22,850
- I don't want to.
- Aha.
741
01:06:22,890 --> 01:06:28,190
I want you to do something for me.
I want to serve this to the men.
742
01:06:28,220 --> 01:06:31,350
Taste it and let me know
what you think.
743
01:06:34,520 --> 01:06:37,730
- What is it?
- Chocolate-covered cotton.
744
01:06:38,940 --> 01:06:41,030
- Are you crazy?
- No good?
745
01:06:41,070 --> 01:06:43,240
You didn't take the seeds out!
746
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:45,960
- Is it really that bad?
- It's cotton!
747
01:06:45,990 --> 01:06:48,750
- They've got to learn to like it.
- Why?
748
01:06:48,790 --> 01:06:53,050
I saw a chance to corner the market,
I didn't know there'd be a glut.
749
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:57,260
I've got warehouses full all over
Europe. I can't get rid of it.
750
01:06:57,290 --> 01:07:00,890
People eat cotton candy.
This is better, it's real cotton.
751
01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:05,340
- People can't eat cotton!
- They've got to, for the Syndicate.
752
01:07:05,390 --> 01:07:09,570
It will make them sick. Try it
yourself if you don't believe me.
753
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:12,780
I did and it made me sick.
754
01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:17,940
Look at that. Looks like a funeral.
755
01:07:17,980 --> 01:07:20,990
It's that kid
that got killed in my plane.
756
01:07:21,030 --> 01:07:25,290
- Oh? What happened to him?
- He got killed.
757
01:07:26,700 --> 01:07:30,460
- What?
- I said he got killed.
758
01:07:30,490 --> 01:07:32,800
I'm sorry.
759
01:07:36,210 --> 01:07:40,220
- He was your friend?
- Maybe, I don't know.
760
01:07:42,550 --> 01:07:45,670
- He was very old.
- But he was a boy.
761
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:49,150
Well, he died.
You don't get any older than that.
762
01:08:00,440 --> 01:08:03,570
- Where do you work?
- I'm not a whore.
763
01:08:03,610 --> 01:08:05,690
I didn't say you were.
764
01:08:05,740 --> 01:08:09,110
- I work in big American company.
- Me, too!
765
01:08:10,990 --> 01:08:13,240
- You want to see me again?
- Mm.
766
01:08:13,290 --> 01:08:16,050
- Why?
- Why not?
767
01:08:17,210 --> 01:08:19,380
You think I'm beautiful?
768
01:08:19,420 --> 01:08:23,050
- I think you're perfect.
- That's not true.
769
01:08:23,090 --> 01:08:25,480
- Lt is true.
- No.
770
01:08:26,090 --> 01:08:28,560
See this?
771
01:08:29,640 --> 01:08:33,010
- Jesus, how did you...?
- Air raid.
772
01:08:34,100 --> 01:08:37,390
- Germans?
- Americani.
773
01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:49,170
You do not want me now?
774
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:52,790
What are you talking about?
I want you everything.
775
01:08:52,830 --> 01:08:55,300
- I want you to marry me.
- You crazy.
776
01:08:55,330 --> 01:08:57,880
- Why?
- You can't want to marry me.
777
01:08:57,920 --> 01:09:00,590
- Why not?
- I'm not a virgin.
778
01:09:00,630 --> 01:09:03,470
- So?
- Nobody wants a girl who isn't.
779
01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:07,210
- I do. I wanna marry you.
- Not possible.
780
01:09:07,260 --> 01:09:09,430
- Why not?
- Because you crazy.
781
01:09:09,470 --> 01:09:12,360
- Why am I crazy?
- Because you want to marry me.
782
01:09:12,390 --> 01:09:17,560
You won't marry me because I'm crazy,
I'm crazy because I wanna marry you?
783
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:19,940
- You're crazy.
- Why?
784
01:09:21,060 --> 01:09:25,450
Because I love you.
Ti amo. Ti amo molto.
785
01:09:26,490 --> 01:09:30,080
How can you love a girl
who is not a virgin?
786
01:09:30,110 --> 01:09:32,580
Because I can't marry you.
787
01:09:32,620 --> 01:09:36,050
Why you can't marry me?
Because I'm not a virgin?
788
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:38,160
No, because you're crazy!
789
01:09:38,210 --> 01:09:40,180
- You crazy!
- You're crazy!
790
01:09:41,580 --> 01:09:44,140
- You all crazy!
- Why are we crazy?
791
01:09:44,170 --> 01:09:47,350
Because you don't know
how to stay alive
792
01:09:47,380 --> 01:09:50,020
and that's the secret of life.
793
01:09:50,050 --> 01:09:52,220
But we have a war to win.
794
01:09:52,260 --> 01:09:56,650
Ah. But America will lose the war.
Italy will win it.
795
01:09:56,680 --> 01:09:59,690
America's the strongest nation
on earth.
796
01:09:59,730 --> 01:10:04,730
The American fighter is the best
trained, best equipped, best fed...
797
01:10:04,770 --> 01:10:09,610
Exactly. Italy, however, is
one of the weakest nations on earth
798
01:10:09,650 --> 01:10:14,790
and the Italian fighting man
is hardly equipped at all.
799
01:10:14,830 --> 01:10:19,880
That's why my country is doing so
well while yours is doing so poorly.
800
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:24,140
That's silly!
Italy was occupied by the Germans
801
01:10:24,170 --> 01:10:26,250
and is now being occupied by us.
802
01:10:26,300 --> 01:10:29,140
- You call that doing well?
- Of course I do.
803
01:10:29,170 --> 01:10:33,020
The Germans are being driven out
and we are still here.
804
01:10:33,050 --> 01:10:36,730
In a few years, you'll be gone
and we'll still be here.
805
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:39,940
You see, Italy is a very poor,
weak country,
806
01:10:39,980 --> 01:10:43,320
yet that is what makes us so strong,
807
01:10:43,350 --> 01:10:49,200
strong enough to survive this war
and still be in existence
808
01:10:49,240 --> 01:10:52,500
long after your country
has been destroyed.
809
01:10:52,530 --> 01:10:55,880
What are you saying?
America won't be destroyed.
810
01:10:55,910 --> 01:10:59,700
- Never?
- Well...
811
01:10:59,750 --> 01:11:03,040
Rome was destroyed.
Greece was destroyed.
812
01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:07,040
Persia was destroyed.
Spain was destroyed.
813
01:11:07,090 --> 01:11:11,980
All great countries are destroyed.
Why not yours?
814
01:11:12,010 --> 01:11:16,560
How much longer do you think
your country will last?
815
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:18,260
Forever?
816
01:11:22,810 --> 01:11:26,350
Well, forever is a long time,
I guess.
817
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:28,280
Very long.
818
01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:30,870
Ciao.
819
01:11:31,990 --> 01:11:35,860
- Please, we're talking.
- We go to bed now?
820
01:11:35,910 --> 01:11:40,960
No. Would you go put some clothes on?
You're practically naked.
821
01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:43,720
Mmm!
822
01:11:43,750 --> 01:11:46,760
I wish she wouldn't
walk around like that.
823
01:11:46,790 --> 01:11:50,000
But it is her business
to walk around like that.
824
01:11:50,050 --> 01:11:53,390
- But it's not nice.
- Of course it's nice.
825
01:11:53,420 --> 01:11:55,890
Mmm, she's nice to look at.
826
01:11:56,970 --> 01:12:01,110
This life is not nice.
I don't want her to do this.
827
01:12:01,140 --> 01:12:05,450
- When we go to America?
- When we go to America?
828
01:12:05,480 --> 01:12:10,950
You will take her to America?
Away from a healthy, active life?
829
01:12:10,980 --> 01:12:16,460
Away from good business
opportunities? Away from her friends?
830
01:12:16,490 --> 01:12:20,910
- Don't you have any principles?
- Of course not.
831
01:12:20,950 --> 01:12:25,170
- No morality?
- I’m a very moral man.
832
01:12:25,210 --> 01:12:29,050
And Italy is a very moral country.
833
01:12:29,090 --> 01:12:33,100
That's why we will certainly
come out on top again
834
01:12:33,130 --> 01:12:36,340
if we succeed in being defeated.
835
01:12:36,380 --> 01:12:38,350
You talk like a madman.
836
01:12:38,390 --> 01:12:41,650
But I live like a sane one.
837
01:12:43,770 --> 01:12:46,780
I was a Fascist
when Mussolini was on top.
838
01:12:46,810 --> 01:12:51,030
Now that he has been deposed,
I am anti-Fascist.
839
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:56,620
When the Germans were here,
I was fanatically pro-German.
840
01:12:56,650 --> 01:12:59,370
Now I'm fanatically pro-America!
841
01:13:00,700 --> 01:13:05,790
You'll find no more loyal partisan
in all of Italy than myself.
842
01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:09,630
You're a shameful opportunist!
843
01:13:09,670 --> 01:13:13,810
It's better to die on your feet
than to live on your knees.
844
01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:16,420
You have it backwards.
845
01:13:16,470 --> 01:13:20,730
It's better to live on your feet
than to die on your knees.
846
01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:25,350
- I know.
- How do you know?
847
01:13:25,390 --> 01:13:29,350
Because I am 107 years old.
848
01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:34,620
How old are you?
849
01:13:35,690 --> 01:13:37,660
I'll be 20 in January.
850
01:13:38,820 --> 01:13:41,320
If you live.
851
01:13:47,710 --> 01:13:51,170
- Ciao, Yossarian.
- Hiya, how are ya?
852
01:13:51,210 --> 01:13:54,970
We gotta go back.
All the leaves have been cancelled.
853
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:57,720
- Ciao, Yossarian.
- Hello, my dear.
854
01:13:57,760 --> 01:14:01,770
You give me a dollar? I pay you back
when we get to America.
855
01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:06,720
OK. Just one. Just one.
One! Gimme that. Here.
856
01:14:06,770 --> 01:14:09,690
Come on, Dobbs.
Milo's gonna fly us back.
857
01:14:09,730 --> 01:14:12,820
- Why are the leaves cancelled?
- I don't know.
858
01:14:12,860 --> 01:14:15,950
Milo says the base is on
some kind of alert.
859
01:14:15,980 --> 01:14:19,780
Oh, yeah. Cathcart raised
the number of missions to 80.
860
01:14:19,820 --> 01:14:21,650
- 80!
- Yeah.
861
01:14:21,700 --> 01:14:25,460
He's mad because Captain Orr
lost another airplane.
862
01:14:25,490 --> 01:14:27,160
Where?
863
01:14:27,200 --> 01:14:31,540
Ditched coming back from Bologna,
went down in the Mediterranean.
864
01:14:31,580 --> 01:14:33,720
Air-Sea Rescue out there?
865
01:14:35,090 --> 01:14:36,750
Yeah.
866
01:14:36,800 --> 01:14:39,300
They picked up everybody but Orr.
867
01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:54,950
Will you fellas stay away
from the airstrip tonight?
868
01:14:56,020 --> 01:14:59,730
- What for?
- Just do as I say.
869
01:15:00,820 --> 01:15:04,080
- Stay in your tents.
- Why?
870
01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:08,490
- There it is.
- What?
871
01:15:08,540 --> 01:15:10,840
Orr's plane!
872
01:15:12,420 --> 01:15:16,130
Oh, he'll find his way back.
He always does.
873
01:15:16,170 --> 01:15:18,250
He'll turn up,
874
01:15:18,300 --> 01:15:21,590
he'll sneak in
with that rat-toothed giggle.
875
01:15:24,010 --> 01:15:28,680
Aarfy, if anything happens to me,
will you take care of my girl?
876
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:30,890
Listen to him, "his" girl!
877
01:15:30,930 --> 01:15:33,020
- Yossarian?
- Don't worry.
878
01:15:33,060 --> 01:15:37,620
Nothing's gonna happen to you
that won't happen to the rest of us.
879
01:15:50,490 --> 01:15:52,460
'Orr?
880
01:15:53,540 --> 01:15:55,620
'Orr?'
881
01:15:56,790 --> 01:15:58,930
Orr?
882
01:16:01,260 --> 01:16:03,510
Orr.
883
01:16:04,590 --> 01:16:09,150
- I'll be through in a minute.
- No, you won't. You always say that,
884
01:16:09,180 --> 01:16:13,850
then I watch you fit some tiny thing
into that masterpiece of junk.
885
01:16:13,890 --> 01:16:18,900
- Then I guess you haven't seen it.
- You guess I haven't seen what?
886
01:16:18,940 --> 01:16:23,040
A little square gasket,
about this big.
887
01:16:23,070 --> 01:16:24,900
- Have you seen it?
- No.
888
01:16:24,950 --> 01:16:29,370
- I'll have to start all over again.
- Please don't do that.
889
01:16:29,410 --> 01:16:33,040
- Why?
- Lt gives me a terrible pain.
890
01:16:33,080 --> 01:16:36,370
- Why?
- Why what?
891
01:16:36,420 --> 01:16:38,500
Why won't you fly with me?
892
01:16:38,540 --> 01:16:42,810
What's that got to do with the pain
that you and your bolts give me?
893
01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:45,340
It's got everything to do with it.
894
01:16:45,380 --> 01:16:47,800
Are you trying to tell me something?
895
01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:51,980
Just that if you were smart,
you'd fly with me.
896
01:16:52,010 --> 01:16:55,530
- You've cracked up three planes.
- Four.
897
01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:57,450
I'm a good pilot.
898
01:16:57,480 --> 01:17:00,770
- I don't want to end up in the sea.
- You'd thank me.
899
01:17:00,820 --> 01:17:04,110
- For getting me drowned?
- For finishing this stove.
900
01:17:04,150 --> 01:17:07,500
Winter's coming.
You'll have heat, hot water...
901
01:17:07,530 --> 01:17:10,740
You'll be able to boil eggs
and everything.
902
01:17:10,780 --> 01:17:15,790
- Me? Where are you gonna be?
- I dunno. Here and there.
903
01:17:15,830 --> 01:17:20,050
No one wants to fly with you.
You're a one-man disaster area.
904
01:17:20,080 --> 01:17:24,010
- They're crazy.
- I agree with them.
905
01:17:24,050 --> 01:17:26,130
You're crazy.
906
01:17:55,040 --> 01:17:57,450
Orr?
907
01:18:21,400 --> 01:18:23,480
Orr?
908
01:18:56,760 --> 01:18:58,430
Orr?
909
01:18:58,470 --> 01:19:01,320
- He's dead.
- Who's "he"?
910
01:19:01,350 --> 01:19:03,660
He's just a kid from my home town.
911
01:19:03,690 --> 01:19:07,120
He just died.
They came from the States to see him.
912
01:19:07,150 --> 01:19:09,870
- Get in the bed, will you?
- What?
913
01:19:09,900 --> 01:19:14,540
His mother, father and brother flew
out here. They know he's dying.
914
01:19:14,570 --> 01:19:17,620
- So what do you want me to do?
- Be him.
915
01:19:17,660 --> 01:19:20,870
Just for a few minutes,
then they'll go away.
916
01:19:20,910 --> 01:19:24,460
They came 5,000 miles
to see you before you die.
917
01:19:24,500 --> 01:19:27,760
- I'm not dying.
- Of course you are, we all are.
918
01:19:27,800 --> 01:19:31,060
Doc, they'll know!
They came to see their son.
919
01:19:31,090 --> 01:19:33,260
They'll have to take
what they can get.
920
01:19:33,300 --> 01:19:36,480
One dying boy
is as good as another. Or as bad!
921
01:19:36,510 --> 01:19:39,770
- Lt won't work.
- Look, they've come a long way.
922
01:19:39,810 --> 01:19:44,200
I don't wanna disappoint them.
I'm sentimental about old people.
923
01:19:44,230 --> 01:19:48,560
- What if they start crying?
- They probably will start crying.
924
01:19:48,610 --> 01:19:53,830
I'll wait outside and if it gets
sticky, I'll come in and break it up.
925
01:19:55,240 --> 01:19:57,320
I don't think it's gonna work.
926
01:19:57,370 --> 01:20:00,660
Look, do this for me
and I'll do something for you.
927
01:20:00,700 --> 01:20:03,630
- Will you ground me?
- You know I can't.
928
01:20:03,660 --> 01:20:07,890
You can write a slip saying I'm
on the verge of a nervous collapse.
929
01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:09,840
Sure I can.
930
01:20:19,180 --> 01:20:21,480
But there's a catch.
931
01:20:23,600 --> 01:20:28,240
- Catch-22.
- Group won't approve my action.
932
01:20:28,270 --> 01:20:30,610
They'll put you back on combat status
933
01:20:30,650 --> 01:20:33,150
and send me to rot in
the Pacific Ocean.
934
01:20:33,190 --> 01:20:35,330
God, here they are.
935
01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:37,110
Start dying.
936
01:20:37,160 --> 01:20:41,250
Do this for me and I'll send you
to Rome on a five-day R and R.
937
01:20:59,050 --> 01:21:01,190
He looks terrible.
938
01:21:01,220 --> 01:21:04,520
- He's sick, Pa.
- Harvey?
939
01:21:06,480 --> 01:21:08,390
My name is Yossarian.
940
01:21:08,440 --> 01:21:10,940
His name is Yossarian, Ma.
941
01:21:12,270 --> 01:21:16,120
Yossarian, don't you recognize me?
942
01:21:16,150 --> 01:21:20,250
I'm your brother John.
Don't you know who I am?
943
01:21:20,280 --> 01:21:24,240
- Sure I do. You're my brother John.
- Pa, he knows me.
944
01:21:24,290 --> 01:21:29,460
Yossarian, look, here's Papa.
Say hello to Papa.
945
01:21:29,500 --> 01:21:32,600
- Hello, Papa.
- Hello, Harvey.
946
01:21:32,630 --> 01:21:36,220
- His name is Yossarian, Pa.
- He looks so bad.
947
01:21:36,260 --> 01:21:40,190
He's very sick, Pa.
The doctor says he's gonna die.
948
01:21:41,600 --> 01:21:45,650
- Harvey?
- Ma, his name is Yossarian.
949
01:21:46,730 --> 01:21:50,070
She doesn't remember things too good
any more.
950
01:21:50,100 --> 01:21:54,660
It's OK. She can call me Harvey
if she wants to.
951
01:21:56,150 --> 01:21:58,620
Harvey.
952
01:21:58,650 --> 01:22:00,740
Psst.
953
01:22:03,950 --> 01:22:07,080
Don't worry.
Everything's gonna be all right.
954
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:09,420
I know.
955
01:22:13,250 --> 01:22:15,500
We came all the way from New York.
956
01:22:15,550 --> 01:22:18,980
We were afraid
we wouldn't get here in time.
957
01:22:19,010 --> 01:22:23,510
- In time for what?
- In time to see you before you died.
958
01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:27,180
What difference would it make?
959
01:22:27,220 --> 01:22:30,650
We didn't want you to die
by yourself.
960
01:22:30,690 --> 01:22:33,020
What difference would it make?
961
01:22:33,060 --> 01:22:37,240
He's getting delirious,
he keeps repeating the same thing.
962
01:22:37,280 --> 01:22:41,210
- Harvey.
- It's not Harvey, it's Yossarian.
963
01:22:41,240 --> 01:22:44,250
What difference does it make?
He's dying.
964
01:23:11,020 --> 01:23:15,120
Listen, kid. It's-it's not bad.
965
01:23:19,030 --> 01:23:21,750
I'm gonna put a tourniquet on it.
966
01:23:54,940 --> 01:23:59,940
There. It's good.
It's a good bandage.
967
01:23:59,980 --> 01:24:02,540
I'm cold.
968
01:24:02,570 --> 01:24:05,290
Cold. God.
969
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:09,990
It's gonna be OK, kid.
We'll be home soon.
970
01:24:21,760 --> 01:24:24,520
- Does the leg still hurt?
- No.
971
01:24:30,970 --> 01:24:32,440
'Hey, Yossarian?'
972
01:24:34,140 --> 01:24:37,770
- You in there?
- Orr?
973
01:24:37,810 --> 01:24:42,290
- Is that Orr, you son of a bitch?
- It's me, Nately.
974
01:24:42,320 --> 01:24:46,160
Nately. What's happening?
Jesus, it's 3:30 in the morning.
975
01:24:46,200 --> 01:24:50,870
It's Dobbs, we've gotta stop him.
He's gonna kill the Colonel.
976
01:24:50,910 --> 01:24:53,160
- Cathcart?
- Yes.
977
01:24:53,200 --> 01:24:55,840
Dobbs is gonna kill Colonel Cathcart?
978
01:25:34,660 --> 01:25:36,800
What's the matter with you?
979
01:25:36,830 --> 01:25:39,630
Nothing. It's the first sane thing
I've ever done.
980
01:25:39,670 --> 01:25:43,540
- They'll get you for murder!
- Cathcart's the murderer!
981
01:25:43,590 --> 01:25:46,850
- Come on, gimme the gun!
- Take it easy.
982
01:25:46,880 --> 01:25:50,310
- You just got a few more missions.
- You're crazy!
983
01:25:50,340 --> 01:25:53,470
He'll raise the number again
and you know it!
984
01:25:53,510 --> 01:25:56,860
He'll keep us flying missions
till we're all dead.
985
01:25:56,890 --> 01:25:58,980
What the hell do you care?
986
01:25:59,020 --> 01:26:02,730
You don't wanna go home,
you're in love with that whore.
987
01:26:02,770 --> 01:26:05,660
You happen to be talking about
my fiancée.
988
01:26:05,690 --> 01:26:08,820
The fiancée of any guy
with ten bucks,
989
01:26:08,860 --> 01:26:11,360
who's happy to risk a dose of disease
990
01:26:11,410 --> 01:26:15,000
for 15 minutes of phoney moans
on a dirty mattress!
991
01:26:16,080 --> 01:26:18,630
Nately!
992
01:26:28,590 --> 01:26:31,010
Nately? Nately!
993
01:26:33,510 --> 01:26:38,100
Yossarian... I think I hurt him.
994
01:26:46,320 --> 01:26:48,820
Aw, he'll be all right.
995
01:26:48,860 --> 01:26:52,210
Here he comes!
996
01:26:52,240 --> 01:26:54,460
- Gimme the gun!
- No, listen!
997
01:26:54,490 --> 01:26:58,760
If he raises the number again,
I swear I'll help you kill him!
998
01:26:58,790 --> 01:27:01,260
- Really?
- I swear it.
999
01:27:01,290 --> 01:27:03,970
That's very reasonable of you.
1000
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:07,630
- Something's going on.
- What?
1001
01:27:07,670 --> 01:27:10,960
Milo and the Colonel
are up to something.
1002
01:27:11,010 --> 01:27:12,760
They've been planning.
1003
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:15,610
- What's he doing?
- Something. I dunno.
1004
01:27:26,610 --> 01:27:30,290
Why didn't they turn their lights on?
What the fuck?
1005
01:27:37,790 --> 01:27:39,840
Yossarian, listen!
1006
01:27:42,750 --> 01:27:46,890
- What is this?
- Look!
1007
01:27:53,380 --> 01:27:55,850
Jesus Christ!
1008
01:27:55,890 --> 01:27:59,320
Run, run, run!
1009
01:28:16,990 --> 01:28:19,210
OK, Number 1 and 2, that was good.
1010
01:28:19,240 --> 01:28:21,330
'Thank you. What now?'
1011
01:28:21,370 --> 01:28:25,470
Bank left and wait for instructions.
All right, Number 3.
1012
01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:29,760
Be careful not to hit our storehouses
at the end of the field.
1013
01:28:29,800 --> 01:28:34,430
Direct hit on the mess hall,
if you please. And Number 3...
1014
01:28:34,470 --> 01:28:37,440
Hold on, Number 3.
1015
01:28:37,470 --> 01:28:40,360
- Yossarian, get off the field.
- What?
1016
01:28:40,390 --> 01:28:44,610
'Take cover. You, too, Dobbs.
Number 3, let 'em go.'
1017
01:28:50,980 --> 01:28:52,950
Bastards! Get out of here!
1018
01:28:52,990 --> 01:28:56,580
'Cut that out. Those are our men
you're shooting at.
1019
01:28:56,610 --> 01:28:59,460
'This is
an M&M Enterprises operation.
1020
01:29:03,200 --> 01:29:06,630
'Number 4 and 5, Number 3
did not get those supply sheds.
1021
01:29:06,670 --> 01:29:10,890
'I told you men to come in low.
Right on target this time.
1022
01:29:10,920 --> 01:29:13,220
'Shoddy work will not do.'
1023
01:29:16,590 --> 01:29:18,900
Dobbs!
1024
01:29:30,400 --> 01:29:34,160
What are you doing, Yossarian?
Get off the field!
1025
01:29:37,320 --> 01:29:41,380
You're confined to the base.
I won't forget this.
1026
01:29:41,410 --> 01:29:45,550
- The Air Force won't forget this.
- Don't be ridiculous!
1027
01:29:45,580 --> 01:29:48,760
What's good for M&M
is good for the Air Force.
1028
01:29:48,790 --> 01:29:52,750
- There goes the bomb dump!
- We had to get rid of that cotton.
1029
01:29:52,800 --> 01:29:57,270
The Germans promised to take it off
us if we ran this mission for them.
1030
01:29:57,300 --> 01:30:01,400
- It's all part of the deal.
- There goes the Officers Club!
1031
01:30:01,430 --> 01:30:03,900
You made a deal to bomb our own base?
1032
01:30:03,930 --> 01:30:08,240
A contract is a contract.
That's what we're fighting for.
1033
01:30:08,270 --> 01:30:12,200
'Lieutenant Minderbinder
speaking. Clear the field!
1034
01:30:12,230 --> 01:30:16,790
- 'We will soon begin to strafe.'
- Strafe?
1035
01:30:16,820 --> 01:30:21,080
- It's all part of the contract.
- There goes Headquarters!
1036
01:30:26,750 --> 01:30:28,830
Nately!
1037
01:30:30,170 --> 01:30:32,250
Nately!
1038
01:30:33,000 --> 01:30:35,090
Nately!
1039
01:30:40,260 --> 01:30:42,340
Nately!
1040
01:30:48,180 --> 01:30:50,270
Nately!
1041
01:30:51,810 --> 01:30:53,560
What's that?
1042
01:30:53,610 --> 01:30:56,410
- He said, "Nately".
- Nately is dead.
1043
01:30:56,440 --> 01:30:59,490
- I know.
- Who's dead?
1044
01:30:59,530 --> 01:31:03,160
You will be
if we don't get at that knife wound.
1045
01:31:03,200 --> 01:31:06,290
- What's happening?
- We're going to operate.
1046
01:31:06,330 --> 01:31:08,740
We're gonna take a look inside you.
1047
01:31:08,790 --> 01:31:11,880
We're gonna clean you out
and stitch you up.
1048
01:31:14,420 --> 01:31:19,590
- Hey! Yossarian!
- Hmm?
1049
01:31:19,630 --> 01:31:23,480
- We've got your pal.
- Hmm?
1050
01:31:23,510 --> 01:31:27,610
You heard me. We've got your pal.
1051
01:31:28,680 --> 01:31:30,650
Who... who's my pal? Who?
1052
01:31:30,680 --> 01:31:33,860
- What's he saying?
- Something about his pal.
1053
01:31:33,900 --> 01:31:37,910
- Who's his pal?
- I don't know, maybe it's Nately.
1054
01:31:37,940 --> 01:31:39,290
Nately's dead.
1055
01:31:57,290 --> 01:32:01,390
I wouldn't go in there.
Looks like something's happened.
1056
01:32:01,420 --> 01:32:06,060
Well, I gotta go find Nately's whore.
I gotta tell her he's dead.
1057
01:32:11,480 --> 01:32:13,360
Wanna come with me?
1058
01:32:13,390 --> 01:32:17,160
Not now. I promised her
some stockings and cigarettes.
1059
01:32:17,190 --> 01:32:21,580
For her family. I know them.
First-class people.
1060
01:32:21,610 --> 01:32:25,870
- OK. I'll see you later.
- Sure.
1061
01:32:35,500 --> 01:32:39,460
- Andiamo.
- Yes, we're going. Up to my room.
1062
01:32:42,050 --> 01:32:44,550
You better get off the streets soon.
1063
01:32:44,590 --> 01:32:48,100
It's almost curfew,
you don't even have a pass.
1064
01:33:21,920 --> 01:33:26,230
- What happened?
- Gone. All gone.
1065
01:33:26,260 --> 01:33:29,300
- Who?
- All the poor young girls.
1066
01:33:29,350 --> 01:33:32,320
All gone. Taken away.
1067
01:33:33,430 --> 01:33:37,450
- Who took 'em away?
- The white-hats.
1068
01:33:37,480 --> 01:33:42,370
- The white-hats... The MPs?
- Yes, the MPs.
1069
01:33:45,280 --> 01:33:47,780
Where did they take 'em?
1070
01:33:47,820 --> 01:33:50,290
Who knows? All gone.
1071
01:33:55,540 --> 01:33:58,720
- Where's the old man?
- Gone.
1072
01:33:58,750 --> 01:34:02,180
- Gone where?
- Dead.
1073
01:34:02,210 --> 01:34:04,040
What?
1074
01:34:04,090 --> 01:34:07,930
He was alive one minute,
then he was dead.
1075
01:34:07,970 --> 01:34:11,340
- He can't be.
- Why not?
1076
01:34:19,190 --> 01:34:22,700
Where did they take the girls?
Did they arrest them?
1077
01:34:22,730 --> 01:34:26,910
I don't know.
They just came in and took them.
1078
01:34:28,610 --> 01:34:33,120
They must have had a reason.
They couldn't just drag them away.
1079
01:34:33,160 --> 01:34:35,240
No reason.
1080
01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:40,540
- What right did they have?
- Catch-22.
1081
01:34:51,890 --> 01:34:54,300
What? What did you say?
1082
01:34:54,350 --> 01:34:56,650
Catch-22.
1083
01:35:06,570 --> 01:35:09,200
How do you know it was Catch-22?
1084
01:35:09,240 --> 01:35:13,630
The girls said,
"Why are you taking us away?"
1085
01:35:13,660 --> 01:35:16,540
The men said, "Catch-22."
1086
01:35:16,580 --> 01:35:20,260
The girls said,
"What right do you have?"
1087
01:35:20,290 --> 01:35:22,930
The men said, "Catch-22."
1088
01:35:22,960 --> 01:35:27,850
All they kept saying was,
"Catch-22, Catch-22."
1089
01:35:27,880 --> 01:35:30,130
What does it mean?
1090
01:35:30,170 --> 01:35:33,600
Didn't they show you?
Didn't you ask them to read it?
1091
01:35:33,640 --> 01:35:37,860
- They don't have to show it to us.
- Who says so?
1092
01:35:37,890 --> 01:35:41,770
- The law says so.
- What law?
1093
01:35:41,810 --> 01:35:43,890
Catch-22.
1094
01:37:24,660 --> 01:37:27,160
Milo! Milo!
1095
01:37:29,420 --> 01:37:33,890
Milo, I'm gonna kill you,
you murdering son of a bitch!
1096
01:37:35,550 --> 01:37:37,220
Easy, don't hurt him.
1097
01:37:37,260 --> 01:37:40,440
I know how you feel
but it wasn't my fault.
1098
01:37:40,470 --> 01:37:42,720
- Whose fault was it?
- No one's.
1099
01:37:42,770 --> 01:37:45,890
Nately was the victim
of economic pressures,
1100
01:37:45,940 --> 01:37:50,120
- the laws of supply and demand.
- You unbelievable bastard!
1101
01:37:55,900 --> 01:37:58,830
- Do you want me to take you to her?
- Who?
1102
01:37:58,860 --> 01:38:02,070
Nately's whore,
isn't that who you're looking for?
1103
01:38:02,120 --> 01:38:05,050
- Do you know where she is?
- Of course I do.
1104
01:38:22,260 --> 01:38:26,600
You're AWOL, Yossarian.
I thought you knew better than that.
1105
01:38:26,640 --> 01:38:30,190
- Nately would never be that dumb.
- He's dead.
1106
01:38:30,230 --> 01:38:34,160
- Too bad. He was nice.
- Your boys made a nice direct hit.
1107
01:38:34,190 --> 01:38:37,290
But he died rich -
60 shares in the Syndicate.
1108
01:38:37,320 --> 01:38:40,000
- So? He's dead.
- His family'll get it.
1109
01:38:40,030 --> 01:38:43,160
- He didn't have one.
- His parents'll get it.
1110
01:38:43,200 --> 01:38:47,620
- They don't need it, they're rich.
- Then they'll understand.
1111
01:38:52,880 --> 01:38:55,130
Ask for number 33.
1112
01:39:56,610 --> 01:39:58,770
Hello, Yossarian.
1113
01:40:02,530 --> 01:40:05,500
- I didn't know.
- That I work for Milo?
1114
01:40:05,530 --> 01:40:08,000
Everybody works for Milo.
1115
01:40:08,040 --> 01:40:13,040
Yeah. Well, he told me
to ask for number 33.
1116
01:40:13,080 --> 01:40:15,470
Mm-hm. 33?
1117
01:40:20,720 --> 01:40:22,800
$10, please.
1118
01:40:29,470 --> 01:40:31,720
No towel, Yossarian?
1119
01:40:45,110 --> 01:40:48,240
- Hello, Yossarian.
- Hi, kid.
1120
01:40:54,750 --> 01:40:57,680
- Where's your sister?
- In there.
1121
01:40:57,710 --> 01:40:59,960
- You give me a dollar?
- Yeah.
1122
01:41:00,000 --> 01:41:03,350
- We go to America soon?
- Sure, kid.
1123
01:41:11,100 --> 01:41:13,650
- Ciao, Yossarian.
- Hi.
1124
01:41:13,680 --> 01:41:17,610
- You make love now?
- No, no. Listen.
1125
01:41:17,650 --> 01:41:21,520
- Uh, I have to tell you something.
- Nately?
1126
01:41:21,570 --> 01:41:23,290
Yeah.
1127
01:41:23,320 --> 01:41:25,210
He's coming?
1128
01:41:25,240 --> 01:41:27,320
Uh, no, not exactly.
1129
01:41:28,910 --> 01:41:33,960
- We go to America soon?
- Yeah. Listen...
1130
01:41:34,000 --> 01:41:37,040
- When we go?
- Listen...
1131
01:41:40,500 --> 01:41:42,840
Nately's dead.
1132
01:41:46,050 --> 01:41:48,940
Bruto. Bruto!
1133
01:41:50,010 --> 01:41:53,220
- T'ammazzo! T'ammazzo!
- Lt wasn't me!
1134
01:41:55,980 --> 01:41:58,200
It's not my fault!
1135
01:41:58,230 --> 01:42:01,740
- T'ammazzo!
- He was my friend, you dumb bitch!
1136
01:42:07,030 --> 01:42:11,450
T'ammazzo! T'ammazzo! T'ammazzo!
1137
01:42:21,880 --> 01:42:26,350
Assassino! Assassino!
1138
01:45:40,660 --> 01:45:44,540
- I only raped her once.
- You killed her!
1139
01:45:44,580 --> 01:45:49,300
I had to after that. She couldn't go
round saying bad things about me.
1140
01:45:49,340 --> 01:45:53,130
You dumb bastard! Why not get
some girl off the streets?
1141
01:45:53,170 --> 01:45:56,970
Oh, no, not me.
I never paid for it in my life.
1142
01:45:59,890 --> 01:46:03,760
Come on, get back!
Back up, folks.
1143
01:46:12,230 --> 01:46:16,410
Aarfy, are you insane?
They're gonna throw you in jail.
1144
01:46:17,780 --> 01:46:21,240
You just killed a girl.
She's lying in the street!
1145
01:46:21,280 --> 01:46:25,300
She has no right to be there,
you know. It's after curfew.
1146
01:46:38,050 --> 01:46:41,180
Don't you realise what you've done?
1147
01:46:41,220 --> 01:46:44,930
You've murdered a human being!
They can hang you!
1148
01:46:44,970 --> 01:46:48,850
I don't think they'll do that,
not to good old Aarfy.
1149
01:46:48,890 --> 01:46:53,780
They won't care about one Italian
girl when thousands die every day.
1150
01:46:53,820 --> 01:46:56,940
Aarfy, listen.
They're coming to arrest you.
1151
01:46:56,990 --> 01:47:00,950
You can't take the life of another
human and get away with it!
1152
01:47:00,990 --> 01:47:05,380
They're coming to get you!
1153
01:47:16,130 --> 01:47:18,430
- Captain Yossarian?
- Yes?
1154
01:47:18,470 --> 01:47:21,310
- You're under arrest.
- But I didn't...
1155
01:47:22,390 --> 01:47:24,610
You're AWOL.
1156
01:47:29,140 --> 01:47:32,070
'We're sending you home.'
'What?'
1157
01:47:33,770 --> 01:47:36,410
I said we're sending you home.
1158
01:47:36,440 --> 01:47:41,450
You've made things terribly
difficult for Colonel Cathcart.
1159
01:47:41,490 --> 01:47:45,670
The men are unhappy,
morale is beginning to deteriorate.
1160
01:47:45,700 --> 01:47:49,710
- It's all your fault.
- It's his, for raising the number.
1161
01:47:49,750 --> 01:47:53,800
- You refuse to fly.
- Have you no patriotism?
1162
01:47:53,830 --> 01:47:58,250
Wouldn't you give your life for your
country? For Colonel Korn and me?
1163
01:47:58,300 --> 01:48:01,810
What have you and Colonel Korn
got to do with my country?
1164
01:48:01,840 --> 01:48:06,260
You're a disgrace to your country!
How did you get to be a captain?
1165
01:48:06,310 --> 01:48:10,690
- You promoted me.
- That has got nothing to do with it!
1166
01:48:10,730 --> 01:48:13,740
Let me. Let me.
1167
01:48:13,770 --> 01:48:19,020
Captain, I'd like to appeal to
your better judgment one more time.
1168
01:48:19,070 --> 01:48:23,400
There's a mission about to start.
You can get on that plane
1169
01:48:23,450 --> 01:48:27,380
and we'll just pretend
that all of this never happened.
1170
01:48:27,410 --> 01:48:32,550
Yossarian, won't it make you feel
proud to know you served in an outfit
1171
01:48:32,580 --> 01:48:37,000
that averaged more combat missions
per person than any other?
1172
01:48:37,040 --> 01:48:39,460
Don't you want more unit citations
1173
01:48:39,510 --> 01:48:42,770
and more oak-leaf clusters
on your Air Medal?
1174
01:48:42,800 --> 01:48:46,900
Don't you want to contribute
further to this fleet record
1175
01:48:46,930 --> 01:48:49,230
by flying more missions?
1176
01:48:49,270 --> 01:48:50,860
No.
1177
01:48:51,930 --> 01:48:56,600
In that case,
we'll just have to send you home.
1178
01:48:56,650 --> 01:48:59,200
Of course, there's one catch.
1179
01:49:00,530 --> 01:49:02,410
Yeah? What's that?
1180
01:49:03,530 --> 01:49:08,280
Well, we will issue orders
sending you back to the States
1181
01:49:08,330 --> 01:49:12,880
and there's one thing
you have to do for us in return.
1182
01:49:12,910 --> 01:49:15,220
What would that be?
1183
01:49:23,720 --> 01:49:26,100
Like us.
1184
01:49:42,490 --> 01:49:45,070
Like you?
1185
01:49:46,360 --> 01:49:48,250
Like us.
1186
01:49:48,280 --> 01:49:52,160
You'll be surprised how easy it is
to like us once you begin.
1187
01:49:52,200 --> 01:49:55,470
You see, we're going to put you
on Easy Street.
1188
01:49:55,500 --> 01:49:59,640
- Make you a major.
- Give you another medal.
1189
01:49:59,670 --> 01:50:03,720
- Send you home a hero.
- You'll have parades in your honor.
1190
01:50:03,760 --> 01:50:07,270
You can make speeches,
raise money for war bonds.
1191
01:50:07,300 --> 01:50:10,680
And all you have to do
is be our pal.
1192
01:50:10,720 --> 01:50:13,360
Say nice things about us.
1193
01:50:13,390 --> 01:50:17,730
Tell the folks at home
what a good job we're doing.
1194
01:50:21,570 --> 01:50:24,120
Take our offer, Yossarian.
1195
01:50:24,150 --> 01:50:28,650
It's either that
or a court martial for desertion.
1196
01:50:35,830 --> 01:50:40,580
What about the others?
I'd be playing a dirty trick on them.
1197
01:50:40,630 --> 01:50:45,710
- They'll be happy you're gone.
- They have a war to win.
1198
01:50:50,510 --> 01:50:52,590
Well, what the hell.
1199
01:50:52,640 --> 01:50:56,100
If they don't want more missions,
let them say so.
1200
01:50:56,140 --> 01:50:59,570
- Precisely.
- Exactly.
1201
01:51:03,230 --> 01:51:05,540
It's a deal.
1202
01:51:44,230 --> 01:51:46,480
Assassino!
1203
01:51:56,870 --> 01:51:59,550
Help! Help!
1204
01:52:23,730 --> 01:52:25,320
'Help him!'
1205
01:52:25,360 --> 01:52:28,240
- What?
- 'Help him! Help him!'
1206
01:52:28,280 --> 01:52:30,910
- Help who?
- 'Help the bombardier!'
1207
01:52:30,950 --> 01:52:35,450
- I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.
- 'Then help him! Help HlM!'
1208
01:52:48,170 --> 01:52:50,420
I'm cold.
1209
01:52:50,460 --> 01:52:53,140
Cold. God.
1210
01:52:53,180 --> 01:52:57,900
It's gonna be OK, kid.
We'll be home soon.
1211
01:53:09,360 --> 01:53:12,450
- Does the leg still hurt?
- No.
1212
01:53:43,560 --> 01:53:45,780
There, there.
1213
01:53:53,940 --> 01:53:56,030
There, there.
1214
01:53:58,200 --> 01:54:00,280
There, there.
1215
01:54:27,480 --> 01:54:30,690
- May we come in?
- Sure.
1216
01:54:30,730 --> 01:54:33,490
- I see you're all alone.
- Yep.
1217
01:54:33,530 --> 01:54:35,830
Well, you're going home.
1218
01:54:38,070 --> 01:54:41,840
- I don't know if I am.
- I've got your orders right here.
1219
01:54:41,870 --> 01:54:46,130
That parade they're rehearsing
is for you. You're a hero.
1220
01:54:46,160 --> 01:54:51,080
And you're gonna get a medal for
stopping that Nazi killing Cathcart.
1221
01:54:51,130 --> 01:54:55,520
That wasn't a Nazi.
That was Nately's whore.
1222
01:54:55,550 --> 01:54:59,600
She tried to kill me
because I told her about Nately.
1223
01:55:01,470 --> 01:55:05,970
- But-but the Colonel said that...
- It's a deal I made with them.
1224
01:55:06,020 --> 01:55:07,930
They send me home a hero
1225
01:55:07,980 --> 01:55:11,990
and I say wonderful things
about them back in the States.
1226
01:55:16,240 --> 01:55:18,320
Oh.
1227
01:55:20,280 --> 01:55:22,780
That's a lousy deal, isn't it?
1228
01:55:25,040 --> 01:55:28,330
- Isn't it?
- Well...
1229
01:55:31,420 --> 01:55:33,830
Isn't it?
1230
01:55:33,880 --> 01:55:37,090
I don't know,
I'm not here to judge you.
1231
01:55:37,130 --> 01:55:39,350
What are you here for?
1232
01:55:41,090 --> 01:55:43,650
I'm not too sure about that either.
1233
01:55:45,600 --> 01:55:48,020
What would you do if you were me?
1234
01:55:50,140 --> 01:55:53,690
I don't know. I mean, I'm not you.
1235
01:55:55,520 --> 01:55:57,830
Imagine that you are me.
1236
01:56:00,110 --> 01:56:05,540
That's hard. Sometimes I even have
trouble imagining that I'm me,
1237
01:56:05,580 --> 01:56:07,660
if you know what I mean.
1238
01:56:11,540 --> 01:56:13,870
Well, I'm gonna call the deal off.
1239
01:56:13,920 --> 01:56:18,010
Let them send me home
because I've flown over 50 missions.
1240
01:56:18,050 --> 01:56:21,840
- They'd have to send home every man.
- That's their problem.
1241
01:56:21,880 --> 01:56:25,560
No, it's yours because
they'll court-martial you.
1242
01:56:25,600 --> 01:56:28,940
- Make the best of a bad situation.
- No.
1243
01:56:28,970 --> 01:56:31,060
No what?
1244
01:56:32,810 --> 01:56:37,150
I've been lying in this bed
for three weeks thinking about it
1245
01:56:37,190 --> 01:56:40,700
and all I know is
I don't want to go to prison
1246
01:56:40,740 --> 01:56:43,290
and I can't play Cathcart's game.
1247
01:56:45,030 --> 01:56:48,580
Well, what else can you do?
1248
01:56:48,620 --> 01:56:51,120
I can run away.
1249
01:56:52,210 --> 01:56:54,590
- You'd desert?
- Why not?
1250
01:56:54,630 --> 01:56:57,720
How would you get off the base?
That's insane.
1251
01:56:57,750 --> 01:57:00,140
That's why it's so sensible.
1252
01:57:00,170 --> 01:57:03,350
They'll call you a coward.
It's your country.
1253
01:57:03,380 --> 01:57:07,230
Christ, I've flown 55 missions
and fought three years,
1254
01:57:07,260 --> 01:57:09,260
now I'll fight for myself.
1255
01:57:09,310 --> 01:57:13,810
- Suppose everyone felt that way?
- I'd be a fool to feel different.
1256
01:57:13,850 --> 01:57:16,440
What would your friends say?
1257
01:57:16,480 --> 01:57:20,620
I haven't got any.
Nately was blown to bits,
1258
01:57:20,650 --> 01:57:23,150
McWatt killed himself,
1259
01:57:23,200 --> 01:57:27,830
Hungry Joe was chopped in two,
Dobbs disappeared,
1260
01:57:27,870 --> 01:57:30,370
Aardvark's a murderer,
1261
01:57:30,410 --> 01:57:33,050
Doc Daneeka's a zombie...
1262
01:57:34,790 --> 01:57:36,870
They're all gone.
1263
01:57:37,130 --> 01:57:41,220
The only friend I had was Snowden
and I didn't even know him.
1264
01:57:41,260 --> 01:57:43,890
What about Orr?
1265
01:57:43,920 --> 01:57:46,310
Orr's at the bottom of the sea.
1266
01:57:46,340 --> 01:57:49,020
No, he isn't. Don't you know?
1267
01:57:49,060 --> 01:57:51,640
- Know what?
- Orr's in Sweden.
1268
01:57:51,680 --> 01:57:53,570
What?
1269
01:57:53,600 --> 01:57:58,190
After 16 weeks at sea, Orr was found
by a trio of Swedish Girl Scouts.
1270
01:57:58,230 --> 01:58:01,080
- It's a miracle.
- He rowed all the way.
1271
01:58:01,110 --> 01:58:03,830
- He rowed?
- In that tiny little raft!
1272
01:58:03,860 --> 01:58:06,360
Think of that, all the way to Sweden!
1273
01:58:06,410 --> 01:58:09,450
- He'll sit out the rest of the war.
- It's a miracle!
1274
01:58:09,490 --> 01:58:12,620
It's no miracle.
He has to have planned it.
1275
01:58:12,660 --> 01:58:16,800
- He went to Sweden deliberately?
- It's 4,000 miles away!
1276
01:58:16,830 --> 01:58:20,850
He always said that
crash-landing was good practice.
1277
01:58:20,880 --> 01:58:25,350
- Getting shot down in the sea.
- On every mission that he flew!
1278
01:58:27,180 --> 01:58:29,310
No, no, no. That is a miracle.
1279
01:58:30,600 --> 01:58:35,680
Practicing
getting shot down in the sea!
1280
01:58:35,730 --> 01:58:37,950
He made it?
1281
01:58:39,770 --> 01:58:41,940
He made it?
1282
01:58:43,650 --> 01:58:48,370
He made it!
That son of a bitch made it!
1283
01:58:59,540 --> 01:59:04,290
- Are you crazy? Is he crazy?
- If he made it, so can l!
1284
01:59:04,340 --> 01:59:07,630
- We gotta stop him.
- I can do it, Danby!
1285
01:59:07,680 --> 01:59:10,480
- They'll catch you!
- I can do it!
1286
01:59:10,510 --> 01:59:12,930
- This is insane!
- I can do it!
1287
01:59:12,970 --> 01:59:16,350
- But your clothes!
- They'll never recognize me.
1288
01:59:16,390 --> 01:59:20,100
You'll be on the run,
in constant danger of betrayal!
1289
01:59:20,150 --> 01:59:22,620
I live that way now.
1290
01:59:22,650 --> 01:59:26,240
- For God's sake, hurry up!
- So long, Chaplain.
1291
01:59:26,280 --> 01:59:30,920
- How do you feel, Yossarian?
- Fine, except I'm scared to death.
1292
01:59:30,950 --> 01:59:34,240
- You'll have to keep on your toes!
- I will.
1293
01:59:34,290 --> 01:59:36,420
- You'll have to jump.
- I'll jump.
1294
01:59:36,450 --> 01:59:38,420
Jump!
103555
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