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1
00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:33,038
Good news, Kitty.
2
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:36,781
December the 3rd,
I'm due for a fresh sock
3
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,218
and a quarter of Spam.
4
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:40,568
It's good.
It's a good book, this.
5
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,405
This is London.
6
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,320
Here is a special announcement.
7
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,237
Unconfirmed reports are coming in
8
00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,762
that German
troops are carrying out
large-scale maneuvers...
9
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,111
Ah, it's you, son.
10
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,765
Dad.
11
00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,157
The prime minister,
Mr. Chamberlain, and...
12
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,116
Neville Chamberlain's a fool!
13
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:08,465
The man
should step down
for a better man.
14
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:10,075
Why don't you write
in for the job, Dad?
15
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,164
I have.
16
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:13,296
This moment
I'm waiting for my
dear king to write to me
17
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,993
to ask me to form
a new government.
18
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:18,170
Hey, son, another of these
"OHMS" letters arrived
for you.
19
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,302
Ohm!
20
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:20,869
OHMS?
21
00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,088
Actually,
that's just another
cunningly worded invitation
22
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,613
for me to partake in World War II.
23
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:28,616
Just fancy,
of all the people in
England, they've chosen you.
24
00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:30,270
Oh, it's a great honor, son.
25
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,445
You'll have to open one, son.
26
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,098
I mean, we're
running out of disguises.
27
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,491
Dad, there will
never be another war.
28
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,276
Yes, there will. Never! Never!
29
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,929
Yes, there will.
We need them. Now listen, son.
30
00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:39,322
Don't you work too late tonight.
31
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:40,845
And don't blow too hard.
32
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:44,022
It's
not good for the heart
and it can cause hernia.
33
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:45,328
Good night, Mum.
Night, Dad.
34
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,286
Night, son.
35
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,983
It's a good title for a song.
36
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:51,291
Good night, Mum,
good night, Dad.
And Auntie.
37
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,467
Depends upon how big
the family is, I suppose.
38
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:56,296
Just in time, Harry. In time for what?
39
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,601
In time for me to
open the door for you.
40
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,473
Very funny.
41
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,779
I knew you'd like it. Is that Dad in there?
42
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,781
No, that's your granny
doing impressions.
43
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:06,480
Good night to you, too. And good night to you, too.
44
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,371
We've got them buckling
at the knees, lads.
45
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,851
I've counted
one immaculate
conception so far.
46
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:16,027
Let's give them something
that'll really get them
at it, eh?
47
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:17,986
Number 69.
48
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:22,033
We hope you are
enjoying your evening
with the Harlem Club Band.
49
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,775
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
50
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,603
the moment you've
all been waiting for.
51
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:31,086
Everybody on
the floor, please,
for the Paul Jones!
52
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:35,438
Ready? You start first,
I'll catch up.
53
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,570
A one, two...
54
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,537
Excuse me, please.
Ladies and gentlemen.
55
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:48,756
Excuse me.
56
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,236
Stop playing.
Stop the music.
57
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,935
Music?
That's gonna
cost him extra.
58
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,112
Quiet, quiet, please.
59
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:59,549
Please,
ladies and gentlemen,
can I have your attention?
60
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:02,465
I have an announcement to make.
61
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,946
We've received information
through the wireless
62
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:07,818
that German troops have
crossed the Polish frontier.
63
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,472
Is that all? Right.
64
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,474
Ladies and gentlemen,
take your partners...
65
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,345
Now, wait a minute.
I haven't finished yet.
66
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:16,348
Ladies and gentlemen,
take your partners for
the manager's announcement.
67
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,875
An ultimatum has been sent
68
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,311
to the German government
by Mr. Chamberlain.
69
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:25,619
That's the bloke that does
prime minister impressions.
70
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:28,099
Heavy fighting has
broken out on all fronts.
71
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:36,325
Unless the
German troops are withdrawn
before the ultimatum expires,
72
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:37,674
we will be at war with Germany.
73
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,676
I love the "we" bit.
74
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:44,115
Ladies and gentlemen,
take your partners
for the Second World War.
75
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:47,641
Ladies and gentlemen,
in view of the world
situation,
76
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,599
will you stand for the king?
77
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,253
Where? Where?
78
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:58,303
# God save our gracious King
79
00:07:58,347 --> 00:08:03,483
# Long live our noble King
80
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:08,313
# God save the King
81
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:13,057
# Send him victorious
82
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:17,497
# Happy and glorious
83
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:20,369
# Long to reign over us
84
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:33,774
Next!
85
00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:40,607
Next!
86
00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:44,654
Give over, will you, mate?
87
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,830
It's all right, my friends,
we're all invited.
88
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,137
Yes, and
you follow on. Next!
89
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:59,539
You tell them
your name's Phyllis,
you'll be out in an hour.
90
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,584
You, next. Come on.Morning.
91
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,455
Bend.
92
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,722
I've heard about people like you.
93
00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:10,201
Next.
94
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,552
Say "aah" and
raise your right leg.
95
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,381
Move along.
96
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,469
Well, let go first.
97
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:18,775
Come along. You, next.
98
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,429
Fill this. Mmm? Ah.
99
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:24,564
I can't.
100
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,087
Well, turn on the tap.
Now try.
101
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,218
One more.
102
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,481
That's better. Yes.
103
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:32,223
That's enough.
I said that's enough!
104
00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:33,703
Damn it, me trousers!
105
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,270
I'm sorry, sir.
106
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,272
Bend down.
107
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:38,795
But I've just done that... Bend down.
108
00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:40,580
Right and the next.
No...
109
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,495
Have you
ever had varicose veins,
flat feet, piles or asthma?
110
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,107
Why?
Are you giving them away?
111
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,282
Move along.
112
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,503
Oh!
113
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,070
Next! Yes, you.
114
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,076
Lie down.
115
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,469
Lie down.
116
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,254
Next!
117
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:14,918
Cough.
118
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:17,617
Next!
119
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:46,575
You!
120
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:50,274
Yes, you!
121
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:58,021
What's your name?
122
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,631
Terence Alan Milligan.
123
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:07,204
Well,
Terence Alan Milligan,
put that cigarette out.
124
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:09,163
Not on my parade ground!
125
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:13,950
Milligan, eh?
We've been waiting for you.
126
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,169
Have you?
127
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,737
We've postponed the fighting,
you know.
128
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:20,261
Got a nice little treat
in store for you, Milligan.
129
00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,567
You're gonna be
a lovely gunner,
aren't you?
130
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:25,396
You're gonna be a credit to
your regiment, aren't you, eh?
131
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,658
Follow me!
132
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:32,664
Come on, come on. Come on! Come on!
133
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,492
Don't you take
the mickey out
of me, son,
134
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,494
or you'll get
my boot up your jacksie.
Get in that bloody office!
135
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:37,931
Go on, get in there!
136
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:44,589
Oh, excuse me, sir.
A list of the new
intakes.
137
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:45,808
Thank you.
138
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,767
Oh, and this, sir.
139
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:50,682
Ah.
140
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:58,299
You've anymore mickey-taking,
I'll have your guts for
garters, all right?
141
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:01,911
Come in.
142
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:04,871
Left, right, left,
right, left, right,
halt!
143
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:10,006
This is gunner
Terence Alan Milligan, sir.
144
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,661
Yes. Milligan.
145
00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:15,359
We expected you some time ago.
146
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,361
You're a trifle late for
the kickoff, aren't you?
147
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:19,276
Sir?
148
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,930
You do know
that you're three
months late in arriving?
149
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,366
Oh,
I'll make up for it, sir.
I'll fight nights as well.
150
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:23,715
Silence!
151
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:26,153
Why is he still
in civilian clothes?
152
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,458
They wouldn't
let me on the
train naked.
153
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:28,677
Silence!
154
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,679
I mean, Milligan,
why aren't you in uniform?
155
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:34,814
Because I'm not at
war with anybody, sir.
156
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:38,034
They really should arrest
these recruiting officers.
157
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,994
Milligan,
we have to try to
turn you into a soldier.
158
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:42,212
Yes, sir.
159
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:44,824
That imposes a very
heavy burden on us.
160
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,174
Would it be better if
I went back home, sir?
161
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:49,480
You're in for the duration,
and it starts now.
162
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,830
Silence! I didn't say anything!
163
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,222
Beg your pardon, sir.
164
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,137
See that he's taken
care of, Sergeant.
165
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:55,747
Sir!
166
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,840
Come on!
Get them shoulders back!
167
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,493
Left, right, left,
right, left, right!
168
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:05,235
And take that bloody
smile off your face!
169
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,889
Attention!
170
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,326
What's this, then?
What's this?
171
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,154
Feeling mutinous, are we?
172
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:14,766
Squad, attention!
173
00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:18,683
Now,
this morning we begin
to attempt the impossible.
174
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:21,208
We're gonna turn
you lot into soldiers.
175
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,210
Right.
Answer when
I call your names.
176
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,864
Neal.Here.
177
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,343
Edwards.Here.
178
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,910
Watkins. What?
179
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:30,826
Are you here? Yes, Sarge, I'm right here.
180
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,046
Burne.Sir.
181
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:34,177
Anderson.Here.
182
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,265
Neville. Here, Sarge.
183
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:36,397
Bliss. Well, I...
184
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:41,532
Yes, lad?
What's the matter?
We have a problem?
185
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:43,273
I shouldn't be in
the army, really.
186
00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,275
No, no, no. Well,
there's a lot of
it about.
187
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,016
What's the trouble?
188
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:50,541
Well, it's...
I've got flat feet.
189
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:53,457
Yes, well, I'm gonna
make them flatter for you.
190
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:56,025
Round the perimeter 50 times.
At the double!
191
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:57,113
Perimeter?
192
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,376
Round here, lad, the perimeter!
193
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,378
Well, get on with it. I'm going. I'm going.
194
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:04,904
Left, right, left, right,
left, right, left, right.
Get moving!
195
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,124
All right, settle down, you lads.
196
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,212
Sutton. Here, Sergeant.
197
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:10,561
Waters.Here.
198
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:11,693
Milligan.
199
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,740
Why don't you answer
your name, Milligan?
200
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:18,134
I just wanted to
bring a little tension
into your life, Sergeant.
201
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:20,702
Milligan.Sergeant.
202
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,225
50 times round the perimeter,
at the double.
203
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:23,444
Oh, no.
Can't we talk this over?
204
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:24,924
And you're on fatigues
tomorrow morning.
205
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,316
As two reasonable people... And...
206
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,579
And now, folks,
the great Milligan marathon!
207
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:29,754
Jump to it!
208
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:34,803
Left, right, left, right!
Left, right, left!
209
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:36,109
Stop clarting about!
210
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:38,154
Stop messing about there, man!
211
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:41,549
Right! Get them up!
One, two, three, four!
212
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:51,994
Right. Get ready!
Squad, halt!
213
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,865
Now, come on, close up, close up.
214
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:57,652
Squad, right turn!
215
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,785
Stand at ease!
216
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,310
Stand easy.
Squad, attention!
217
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,146
You may swear,
218
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:19,369
plot,
219
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,029
conspire,
220
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,428
rebel,
221
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,392
commit suicide,
222
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,009
joke.
223
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:57,016
But get this straight,
you horrible pimples.
224
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:59,322
If Jerry doesn't get you,
then I bleeding will.
225
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:02,412
Now, you can go
and get your uniforms.
226
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,371
Wait for it!
227
00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:07,722
Squad, dismissed!
228
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:19,081
Yeah, the rustics.
229
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:20,039
You remember that.
230
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:29,091
In the year 1940 A.D.,
231
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:32,921
Gunner Terence Alan Milligan
invaded the British army.
232
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,401
Armies fled in terror
233
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,968
when Milligan unleashed
his diabolical secret weapon,
234
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:39,058
the standard British battle dress.
235
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:42,104
Now,
note the extra-long
sleeves for dipping in soup.
236
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,714
Note the extra-wide collars.
237
00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:46,630
This lets in the wind,
snow, and more soup.
238
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,763
Soup and wind gets up here,
239
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:51,940
and the folds
in the trousers are
for collecting more soup,
240
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:55,726
thereby making Milligan
the indisputable soup plan.
241
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,078
Leave off!
242
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:01,254
They reek!
They smell of cow dung.
243
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,386
That's the bulletproofing
you smell.
244
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,822
Yeah, bulletproofing, my tits.
245
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,085
I know cow dung when I smell it.
246
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,303
Put it on, William.
247
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:10,480
I think you'll look
absolutely... Very good.
248
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:14,571
Knock it off!
Go on, feel it.
It's as rough as old iron.
249
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:17,400
You're right.
They're not fit
for human habitation.
250
00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:23,450
Hey,
you can really
play that thing.
251
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:25,147
What experience have you had?
252
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:28,411
Well,
there was Irma at 16,
Carol and Norma at 18,
253
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:30,152
but after that it gets a bit...
254
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,937
What he means is
are you interested in
joining a small group?
255
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:34,678
Certainly,
if you think
I'm small enough.
256
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,419
Great. I'm the manager.
257
00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:38,682
I'm delighted.
258
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,989
Don't do that,
you're making
my eyes water.
259
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:58,659
All right, sir?
260
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:01,314
Sergeant? It's time to inspect
the new lot, sir.
261
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,098
Yes. Yes, of course.
262
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,666
Lead on, Sergeant.
263
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:12,281
What's the matter
with you, Heavenly?
264
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:14,892
Crushing your cobblers, are they?
265
00:19:14,936 --> 00:19:17,068
It's me feet.
I keep telling them
266
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:19,201
I've got flat feet,
but they won't listen.
267
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:21,986
Flat feet? Give over!
268
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:24,641
It's true.
I've got the papers.
269
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,469
I've got hereditary flat feet.
270
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:29,994
Don't you worry, Heavenly.
You need flat feet.
It's a flat world.
271
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,171
The MO says you're okay.
272
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,347
Yeah, well,
I've got flat feet.
We've all got flat feet.
273
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,175
No, my condition
is a medical fact.
274
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,741
Hey, look, he doesn't believe me.
275
00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:40,831
A tenner says that I have
got flat feet. All right?
276
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,659
All right. Well, you'll have
to prove it, Spike.
277
00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,661
I've thought of that.
What about a flat foot print?
278
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,098
Will that do? I don't know what you mean.
279
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:49,057
Show him. Yeah, go on, Spike.
280
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,494
All right.
Would you get me a piece
of cardboard, please, Bill?
281
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,017
Anything for a mate, Spike.
282
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,541
May I borrow your Brylcreem,
please?
283
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,020
Certainly, Spike.
284
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:57,544
What's the cardboard for?
285
00:19:57,587 --> 00:20:00,329
Look, you asked for proof.
Now, please, pay attention.
286
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:01,374
All right.
287
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:02,853
Attention.
Yes, all right.
288
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:04,855
Are you watching,
Heavenly? I'm watching.
289
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,074
Look.
290
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,208
Is the bet still on?
291
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,035
Yeah.Shake.
292
00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:14,952
Sorry about that.
Right, now watch.
293
00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:17,912
Is that or is that
not a flat footprint?
294
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,566
Of course it is. Flat as a pancake.
295
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:20,828
Definitely flat.
296
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,351
It's flat because of
your weight, isn't it?
297
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:23,613
All right,
then we'll do
it another way.
298
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,049
Stand back, lads.
299
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:26,703
Oh, could you get me your pillow?
300
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,531
Same as usual,
sir, I'm afraid.Yeah.
301
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,620
There's one who's
a bit of a troublemaker.
302
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,231
Milligan, sir. There's always one.
303
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:35,582
Now,
smear both me soles
with that stuff, Bill.
304
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,366
Certainly.
305
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,716
Lovely.
306
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,283
Is the bet still on, Heavenly?
307
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:44,547
Yes.Shake. Sorry about that.
308
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:48,116
Now put
the cardboard
on the top. Lovely.
309
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:52,120
You're a very
difficult man to
convince, Heavenly.
310
00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:54,035
Now press down. Hard.
311
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:56,124
Attention.
312
00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:58,648
Attention!
313
00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:13,315
Milligan,
314
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,144
if it's not too much trouble,
care to explain?
315
00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:18,015
I'm just practicing, sir.
316
00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:19,974
Practicing? Yes, sir.
317
00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:22,150
In case we're all
sent to Australia, sir.
318
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:25,762
Are you now?
319
00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:28,199
Did you hear that, Sergeant? Yes, sir.
320
00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:31,855
On your feet, twit.
You're speaking to
an officer.
321
00:21:31,899 --> 00:21:33,944
There's something not quite
right about this man,
sir.
322
00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:35,294
Why aren't you in uniform?
323
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,165
Uniform, Sergeant?
They're dangerous.
324
00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:39,341
Dangerous? Why?
325
00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:40,516
Well, Germans shoot at them, sir.
326
00:21:42,823 --> 00:21:44,433
I think he's all right, Sergeant.
327
00:21:44,477 --> 00:21:46,609
Just has a healthy
fear of being shot at.
328
00:21:46,653 --> 00:21:48,176
Well,
we'll have to
put you somewhere
329
00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:49,873
where they can't
find you, won't we?
330
00:21:49,917 --> 00:21:51,788
Thank you, sir.
331
00:21:51,832 --> 00:21:53,442
Cookhouse fatigue,
0600 hours in the morning.
332
00:21:53,486 --> 00:21:55,662
Yes, sir. Right, carry on.
333
00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:01,058
Carry on, men.
334
00:22:28,434 --> 00:22:29,870
Bye, darling.
335
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:37,704
Morning, sir.Morning.
336
00:22:37,747 --> 00:22:38,879
You're up early.
337
00:23:11,912 --> 00:23:14,131
Who did that? It's me, sir. Milligan, sir.
338
00:23:22,139 --> 00:23:23,445
What are you standing
there for, Milligan?
339
00:23:23,489 --> 00:23:25,447
Well, everybody has
to be somewhere, sir.
340
00:23:25,491 --> 00:23:27,536
What the blazes are you wearing?
341
00:23:27,580 --> 00:23:30,713
Oh, it's the latest
craze, sir. Uniforms.
342
00:23:30,757 --> 00:23:32,411
You look as if you've shrunk.
343
00:23:32,454 --> 00:23:33,455
It's the army life, sir.
344
00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:36,458
It gives me that
shrinking feeling.
345
00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:39,156
That'll be all, Milligan. Yes, sir.
346
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,897
Milligan. Sir?
347
00:23:40,941 --> 00:23:43,073
You salute the king's uniform.
348
00:23:43,117 --> 00:23:44,597
Not pajamas.
349
00:23:53,519 --> 00:23:56,957
Might be better
to salute it when it
has an officer inside.
350
00:24:23,374 --> 00:24:24,506
All right, out you get!
351
00:24:26,552 --> 00:24:29,511
Get out, you lads.
Come on. Get out.
352
00:24:31,905 --> 00:24:33,950
Come on, hurry it up.
Get on with it.
353
00:24:33,994 --> 00:24:35,299
Oh, leave off.
354
00:24:39,521 --> 00:24:42,306
That's it, lads.
Go on, cough it up.
It might be a gold watch.
355
00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:45,309
Where are we, Sarge? That's a good question, Neal.
356
00:24:45,353 --> 00:24:47,529
You're probably wondering
why I brought you out here
this morning.
357
00:24:47,573 --> 00:24:49,052
You're a nature lover, Sarge.
358
00:24:49,096 --> 00:24:51,533
Not your nature, Milligan.
359
00:24:51,577 --> 00:24:53,535
Full of honest concern
for your physical wellbeing,
360
00:24:53,579 --> 00:24:57,017
me and the OC have decided
that there's gonna be no
PT this morning.
361
00:24:58,279 --> 00:24:59,323
He's human, after all!
362
00:24:59,367 --> 00:25:00,542
Heart of gold.
363
00:25:00,586 --> 00:25:02,413
Yes. Instead you'll
all be pleased to hear
364
00:25:02,457 --> 00:25:04,372
we've decided
you need something
a bit more strenuous.
365
00:25:06,417 --> 00:25:08,811
Now,
for starters, we've decided
to send you on a little run.
366
00:25:08,855 --> 00:25:10,900
A five-mile run.
367
00:25:10,944 --> 00:25:12,989
What? Five bleeding miles?
368
00:25:13,033 --> 00:25:14,513
What about my feet?
369
00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:16,384
Right. Off you go.
370
00:25:16,427 --> 00:25:18,429
Come on, get on with it.
371
00:25:20,257 --> 00:25:21,998
All right, you lot,
get on with it!
372
00:25:22,042 --> 00:25:24,044
Move, Milligan!
373
00:25:24,087 --> 00:25:25,567
Come on, hup, two, three!
374
00:25:25,611 --> 00:25:27,351
Pick those legs up.
375
00:25:27,395 --> 00:25:29,876
You've got five
miles to go, you know.
Go on, get on with it!
376
00:25:33,967 --> 00:25:39,494
# Once in a while
you've a feeling that
somebody hates you
377
00:25:41,888 --> 00:25:48,590
# Run for a mile,
get a feeling for
old Mother Nature
378
00:25:48,634 --> 00:25:53,552
# But looking on the sunny side
379
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:56,598
# At least I think I might survive
380
00:25:56,642 --> 00:26:00,602
# Better men than me have died
381
00:26:01,603 --> 00:26:05,128
# All to keep the war alive
382
00:26:06,434 --> 00:26:10,220
# It's gonna be a good, good war
383
00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:14,224
# It's gonna last a month or more
384
00:26:14,268 --> 00:26:17,967
# Lots of lovely things in store
385
00:26:18,011 --> 00:26:21,101
# For you and me
386
00:26:22,276 --> 00:26:26,410
# And when the fighting's done
387
00:26:26,454 --> 00:26:29,631
Only another four
and a half miles to go!
388
00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:33,635
# It's gonna be
such good clean fun
389
00:26:33,679 --> 00:26:35,463
# Wait and see
390
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:43,689
# Once in a while
you can smile at the
stories they told you
391
00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:52,741
# Write to your mum,
tell her isn't it
fun playing soldiers
392
00:26:52,785 --> 00:26:57,441
# And though he
makes the odd remark
393
00:26:57,485 --> 00:27:00,619
# Sergeant says I look the part
394
00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:05,275
# There's nothing
to this army lark
395
00:27:05,319 --> 00:27:08,975
# But I wonder when
the real thing starts
396
00:27:10,193 --> 00:27:13,936
# It's gonna be a good, good war
397
00:27:13,980 --> 00:27:17,940
# It's gonna last a month or more
398
00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:21,640
# Lots of lovely things in store
399
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:24,512
# For you and me
400
00:27:25,992 --> 00:27:29,473
# And when the fighting's done
401
00:27:29,517 --> 00:27:33,303
# At least I'll
know that I could run
402
00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:37,177
# It's gonna be
such good clean fun
403
00:27:37,220 --> 00:27:39,658
# Wait and see
404
00:27:41,094 --> 00:27:44,880
# La-la-la-la-la-da-da
405
00:27:44,924 --> 00:27:48,710
# Da-da-da-da-la-da-da
406
00:27:48,754 --> 00:27:52,192
# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
407
00:28:57,431 --> 00:28:58,519
Milligan!
408
00:29:02,436 --> 00:29:03,872
I think
I hear them
coming now, sir.
409
00:29:03,916 --> 00:29:05,308
Really?
410
00:29:05,352 --> 00:29:07,658
We've got a bit to go yet.
411
00:29:21,847 --> 00:29:23,892
Keep it up, Edwards.
Doing very well.
412
00:29:23,936 --> 00:29:25,241
Well done, chaps.Excellent.
413
00:29:25,285 --> 00:29:27,156
Keep it up.
414
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,116
Ah. Jolly good.
415
00:29:30,159 --> 00:29:31,900
There is another one, sir.
416
00:29:31,944 --> 00:29:33,641
Oh? Who's that?
417
00:29:33,684 --> 00:29:35,599
Milligan, sir.
418
00:29:35,643 --> 00:29:36,557
Ah.
419
00:29:37,471 --> 00:29:38,820
Milligan.
420
00:29:46,175 --> 00:29:47,524
Hold it.
421
00:29:48,569 --> 00:29:49,657
Hold it!
422
00:29:54,749 --> 00:29:56,577
Sir! Baggage off!
423
00:30:06,152 --> 00:30:07,588
Just a minute.
424
00:30:19,905 --> 00:30:22,733
For a weakling, this man's
got quite a lot of backbone.
425
00:30:22,777 --> 00:30:24,692
Make good use
of it, Sergeant. Sir!
426
00:30:36,878 --> 00:30:38,140
Halt. Who goes there?
427
00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:40,186
Adolf bloody Hitler.
428
00:30:40,795 --> 00:30:41,883
Pass, friend.
429
00:30:52,807 --> 00:30:54,417
How much is three pints of bitter?
430
00:30:54,461 --> 00:30:56,680
Never mind that.
We got a gig, lads.
431
00:30:56,724 --> 00:30:57,943
Where and when?
432
00:30:57,986 --> 00:30:59,858
The local vicar,
at his fundraising social.
433
00:30:59,901 --> 00:31:01,424
Here's to that.
434
00:31:01,468 --> 00:31:02,904
Hey, can I sing, Bill?
435
00:31:02,948 --> 00:31:05,080
How many songs do you know? Three.
436
00:31:05,124 --> 00:31:06,865
Come back when you know six.
437
00:31:06,908 --> 00:31:08,779
Hey, listen.
We are gonna be
paid, aren't we?
438
00:31:08,823 --> 00:31:11,086
Yeah, of course we are.
We're not in it for
bleeding charity, mate.
439
00:31:11,130 --> 00:31:12,871
I told him that and all.
440
00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:15,090
Good evening, all.
I'm investigating
a crime against music.
441
00:31:15,134 --> 00:31:17,179
We got a gig, Spike.
442
00:31:17,223 --> 00:31:18,528
Yeah. How much?
443
00:31:18,572 --> 00:31:20,269
Leave that to me.
I'm the manager, ain't I?
444
00:31:20,313 --> 00:31:23,490
Well, in that case,
you can manage another beer.
445
00:31:32,934 --> 00:31:37,025
# There were four and twenty
virgins down from Inverness
446
00:31:37,069 --> 00:31:40,376
# And when the ball was over
there were four and twenty
less #
447
00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:41,943
Let's turn it off, you lot!
448
00:31:41,987 --> 00:31:43,945
All right, who said that?
Stand up and step outside.
449
00:31:43,989 --> 00:31:45,729
It's like Paddington Station
in here.
450
00:31:45,773 --> 00:31:46,948
Can't a man get no privacy?
451
00:31:47,862 --> 00:31:48,950
Who said that?
452
00:31:48,994 --> 00:31:50,647
Him.
453
00:31:50,691 --> 00:31:52,475
Why don't you lot
push off back to
your own hut
454
00:31:52,519 --> 00:31:54,086
and let a hero get some kip?
455
00:31:54,129 --> 00:31:55,914
Hey, lads,
lads, lads, come here.
Do you wanna see something?
456
00:31:55,957 --> 00:31:57,176
What? Now, what you got?
457
00:31:57,219 --> 00:31:58,960
Hey, sure, come on,
give the lad a chance.
458
00:31:59,004 --> 00:32:00,092
Listen.
Now, I want no lights.
459
00:32:00,135 --> 00:32:01,267
No lights, please.
460
00:32:01,310 --> 00:32:02,833
Give that man no lights, please.
461
00:32:02,877 --> 00:32:04,835
Don't do that,
I've got a full house!
462
00:32:04,879 --> 00:32:06,750
Will you shut up
and give him a break?
463
00:32:06,794 --> 00:32:08,056
All right, torches, please.
464
00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:09,318
Will you bring some
torches over here?
465
00:32:09,362 --> 00:32:10,929
All right. Hurry up now.
466
00:32:10,972 --> 00:32:12,800
I'd like to start the show...
467
00:32:12,843 --> 00:32:14,802
Will you shine that
torch just down there?
468
00:32:14,845 --> 00:32:20,068
That's it.
Now, I'd like to kick off
with a parade of army life.
469
00:32:22,505 --> 00:32:24,855
Turn your minds to that lovely
470
00:32:24,899 --> 00:32:29,121
and beautiful thing,
the army breakfast.
471
00:32:29,164 --> 00:32:31,166
You know what I mean, lads?
472
00:32:31,210 --> 00:32:34,604
You go in to the canteen,
up to the cook, and what
do you get?
473
00:32:34,648 --> 00:32:37,259
Sausage on a plate.
474
00:32:39,218 --> 00:32:43,178
# Sausage on a plate!
475
00:32:43,222 --> 00:32:47,139
Now. Now. Note the contrast
with a boiled-potato effect.
476
00:32:49,532 --> 00:32:52,622
Now, moving on, moving on,
477
00:32:52,666 --> 00:32:56,539
here are some
familiar objects,
for your pleasure.
478
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:59,020
# Pleasure!
479
00:32:59,064 --> 00:33:01,109
We're passing
the quartermaster's store.
480
00:33:01,153 --> 00:33:02,806
And there's a squaddie on jankers.
481
00:33:02,850 --> 00:33:05,113
And what is he doing?
He's carrying something.
482
00:33:05,157 --> 00:33:08,682
And what is he carrying?
A sack of flour.
483
00:33:11,685 --> 00:33:15,819
# Sack of flour!
484
00:33:17,691 --> 00:33:19,867
Thank you, thank you.
And now, please,
settle down.
485
00:33:19,910 --> 00:33:22,826
I would like to do
for you an impression.
486
00:33:22,870 --> 00:33:25,873
My impression of Groucho Marx.
487
00:33:38,059 --> 00:33:42,063
# There were four and twenty
virgins came down from
Inverness
488
00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:45,719
# And when the ball was over
there were four and twenty
less
489
00:33:45,762 --> 00:33:49,549
# Diddly-aye, diddly-aye
Backs against the wall #
490
00:34:10,222 --> 00:34:12,876
New orders for tomorrow.
491
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,226
Good evening.
492
00:34:31,156 --> 00:34:33,114
Come on, come on.
Get in the second lane.
493
00:34:33,158 --> 00:34:34,724
Get in the second...
You've been in first
for half an hour.
494
00:34:34,768 --> 00:34:36,248
Get the bloody thing in.
Sort them all out.
495
00:34:36,291 --> 00:34:38,380
And get that
foot off the...
That's it. Right.
496
00:34:38,424 --> 00:34:40,295
Come on, come on.
All right, all right.
497
00:34:40,339 --> 00:34:41,340
Not so fast.
498
00:34:42,645 --> 00:34:44,125
All right,
take it easy, take it...
499
00:34:44,169 --> 00:34:46,432
You're not on a bloody racetrack.
500
00:34:46,475 --> 00:34:47,781
Right, Sarge?
501
00:34:47,824 --> 00:34:49,435
Brake!
Get your foot
on the brake!
502
00:34:49,478 --> 00:34:50,827
Brake?
503
00:34:50,871 --> 00:34:52,177
Get your foot on the ruddy brake!
504
00:35:04,537 --> 00:35:07,105
All right, settle down.
505
00:35:07,148 --> 00:35:11,065
Well, son,
you've found
your true vocation.
506
00:35:12,197 --> 00:35:13,111
You're a natural-born killer.
507
00:35:14,199 --> 00:35:16,114
Stop laughing!
508
00:35:16,157 --> 00:35:19,160
You lot have got
about as much chance
of learning to drive
509
00:35:19,204 --> 00:35:21,467
as I have of becoming
the prime minister.
510
00:35:21,510 --> 00:35:22,598
But the army says
you've got to drive,
511
00:35:22,642 --> 00:35:23,860
so drive you bleeding well will.
512
00:35:23,904 --> 00:35:25,035
Got the message?
513
00:35:25,079 --> 00:35:25,993
Yes, Sarge.
514
00:35:26,036 --> 00:35:27,821
Right.
515
00:35:27,864 --> 00:35:30,345
Now, then,
this vehicle should
be like a human being
516
00:35:30,389 --> 00:35:32,956
and must be treated like one.
517
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,177
For a start,
it must be fed
the right ingredients.
518
00:35:36,221 --> 00:35:39,963
These are petrol, oil and water.
519
00:35:40,007 --> 00:35:40,964
That's what we had
for breakfast, Sarge.
520
00:35:44,359 --> 00:35:46,796
Each one has its
own hole for pouring.
521
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,669
And if we put
the wrong thing
into the wrong hole,
522
00:35:49,712 --> 00:35:51,975
just as if I put my boot
in your hole, Milligan,
523
00:35:52,019 --> 00:35:53,281
it ceases to function.
524
00:35:53,325 --> 00:35:54,804
There's no need
for blasphemy, Sarge.
525
00:35:54,848 --> 00:35:56,284
I hope you know a few hymns.
526
00:35:56,328 --> 00:35:58,199
Because you're next.
527
00:35:58,243 --> 00:36:00,158
Leave it to me, Sarge.
528
00:36:17,087 --> 00:36:19,177
Put that hooter back!
529
00:36:19,220 --> 00:36:22,354
Milligan! For God's sake,
put your right out.
Get back on the...
530
00:36:24,094 --> 00:36:25,183
Milligan.
531
00:36:27,707 --> 00:36:29,099
Milligan.
532
00:36:29,143 --> 00:36:31,928
It's all right, Sarge.
The gearbox is a bit wonky.
533
00:36:31,972 --> 00:36:35,062
Milligan,
there's something
you ought to know.
534
00:37:14,928 --> 00:37:16,538
Oh, I say, look, a Jerry...
535
00:37:16,582 --> 00:37:18,105
Plane.Yes.
536
00:37:23,153 --> 00:37:25,243
Look!
There's another one.
537
00:37:25,286 --> 00:37:26,766
Oh, that's one of ours!
538
00:37:35,340 --> 00:37:38,473
Come on, son!
Take the Jerry!
539
00:37:40,606 --> 00:37:42,303
Hey, Sarge, he's got him!
540
00:37:42,347 --> 00:37:44,262
Cut it out, will you, bastard?
541
00:37:46,220 --> 00:37:48,788
My God.
He's coming down.
542
00:37:57,144 --> 00:37:59,277
It's coming up behind us, Sarge.
543
00:39:37,723 --> 00:39:38,985
All right, come on, break it up.
544
00:39:39,028 --> 00:39:41,379
You'll soon get used to
the sight of dead meat.
545
00:39:41,422 --> 00:39:42,423
Is it going to explode, Sarge?
546
00:39:42,467 --> 00:39:43,990
I hope not.
547
00:39:44,033 --> 00:39:46,209
Right, men, I want you to
strip it of everything usable.
548
00:39:46,253 --> 00:39:47,341
Come on.
549
00:39:52,259 --> 00:39:54,217
Who says we're to strip it, Sarge?
550
00:39:54,261 --> 00:39:55,393
I do.
And hurry up about it.
551
00:39:55,436 --> 00:39:57,307
The recovery mob
will be here soon.
552
00:39:57,351 --> 00:40:00,267
What about them? Everything usable.
553
00:40:16,109 --> 00:40:18,720
Move it, Milligan.
There's a war on,
you know.
554
00:40:18,764 --> 00:40:21,941
Yeah. Yeah,
you're right, Sarge.
555
00:40:21,984 --> 00:40:23,333
I forgot.
556
00:41:18,258 --> 00:41:21,217
Don't play
about with that.
Hey, put it away.
557
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,616
All right.
I'll take that.
558
00:41:28,660 --> 00:41:30,400
Can we go now, Sarge?
559
00:41:30,444 --> 00:41:31,967
Yes. All right, that's it.
560
00:41:32,011 --> 00:41:33,795
You wait for
the recovery boys
to arrive, right?
561
00:41:33,839 --> 00:41:35,231
The rest of you get in the truck!
562
00:41:35,275 --> 00:41:37,320
You're asking me to
stay alone with them?
563
00:41:37,364 --> 00:41:40,498
I'm not asking you, Bliss,
I'm ordering you.
564
00:41:40,541 --> 00:41:41,716
Now, Bliss. What?
565
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,327
If anybody asks,
nobody took nothing, right?
566
00:41:44,371 --> 00:41:45,372
I suppose so.
567
00:41:45,415 --> 00:41:47,374
Right? Right.
568
00:41:57,471 --> 00:41:58,820
Get something, mate?
569
00:41:58,864 --> 00:42:01,344
All right, you men, hurry it up.
570
00:42:01,388 --> 00:42:03,433
Come on. Get your
arse up into that
truck.
571
00:42:09,222 --> 00:42:10,571
All the best.
572
00:42:11,616 --> 00:42:13,008
See you, Heavenly!
573
00:42:13,052 --> 00:42:14,662
Don't leave me here all night!
574
00:42:36,641 --> 00:42:38,077
Heavenly!
575
00:42:48,609 --> 00:42:51,699
Jesus wept!
Is that him?
576
00:42:51,743 --> 00:42:55,529
Of course it's him,
you stupid bleeder.
Get a blanket! Go on!
577
00:42:58,488 --> 00:42:59,751
Oh, no.
578
00:43:24,950 --> 00:43:25,994
Fire!
579
00:43:30,782 --> 00:43:31,826
Fire!
580
00:43:36,526 --> 00:43:37,615
Fire!
581
00:43:44,230 --> 00:43:47,407
...55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60.
582
00:44:31,190 --> 00:44:32,670
Not a bad little band.
583
00:44:32,713 --> 00:44:34,672
Of course,
they'd be nothing without me.
584
00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:36,151
They're very lucky.
585
00:44:36,195 --> 00:44:39,502
Too true.
I gave them their
first break, you know.
586
00:44:39,546 --> 00:44:43,202
Hey, Bill, is it me?
Am I on yet?
587
00:44:43,245 --> 00:44:45,726
See that?
They all want
to know me now.
588
00:44:45,770 --> 00:44:47,685
Will you see us home after?
589
00:44:47,728 --> 00:44:49,034
See what I mean?
590
00:44:50,557 --> 00:44:53,603
# Good night, sweetheart
591
00:44:53,647 --> 00:44:56,389
# All my prayers are for you
592
00:44:56,432 --> 00:44:59,174
# Good night, sweetheart
593
00:44:59,218 --> 00:45:00,349
# I'll be watching...
594
00:45:00,393 --> 00:45:01,873
Can I have a word with you, Spike?
595
00:45:01,916 --> 00:45:03,701
Sure. What sort of
word would you like?
596
00:45:03,744 --> 00:45:05,224
"Bed."
That's a good
word for tonight.
597
00:45:05,267 --> 00:45:06,616
Spike, stop it. Stop it?
598
00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:07,922
I haven't even
started yet, have I?
599
00:45:07,966 --> 00:45:09,532
Well,
what time are
we meeting tonight?
600
00:45:09,576 --> 00:45:13,232
Yeah, well, hang about
till it's finished,
all right?
601
00:45:13,275 --> 00:45:15,713
# Good night, sweetheart...
602
00:45:15,756 --> 00:45:18,541
I say,
Milligan, can you
play Amber Rose Forever?
603
00:45:18,585 --> 00:45:21,544
No, sir,
I get tired
after half an hour.
604
00:45:21,588 --> 00:45:24,199
# ...till we meet and banish
605
00:45:24,243 --> 00:45:29,596
# Dreams enfold you
In them, dear, I'll hold you
606
00:45:29,639 --> 00:45:33,513
# Good night, sweetheart,
good night #
607
00:45:43,175 --> 00:45:44,654
Attention!
608
00:45:54,099 --> 00:45:56,449
Ready when you are, sir. Thank you, Sergeant.
609
00:45:56,492 --> 00:45:58,973
Now, I want five
shells in the sandpit.
610
00:45:59,017 --> 00:46:01,236
We've got no shells, sir.
611
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,238
What do you mean,
you've got no shell?
612
00:46:03,282 --> 00:46:05,763
This gun's not been fired
since the First World War,
sir.
613
00:46:05,806 --> 00:46:09,636
They don't
make shells for
it anymore, sir.
614
00:46:09,679 --> 00:46:12,073
Very well.
We'll have to continue
with the wooden ones.
615
00:46:12,117 --> 00:46:14,510
Carry on, please, Sergeant.Sir.
616
00:46:14,554 --> 00:46:17,165
Beg pardon, sir.
All right, men,
as you were!
617
00:46:17,209 --> 00:46:18,993
Prepare to load.
Nice and rhythmic, now.
618
00:46:19,037 --> 00:46:25,826
One. Two.
Three. Four.
Five. Six. Load.
619
00:46:25,870 --> 00:46:28,350
In! Closed. Locked.
620
00:46:28,394 --> 00:46:30,004
Fire! Pull.
621
00:46:30,048 --> 00:46:31,963
Bang! Prepare to load.
622
00:46:32,006 --> 00:46:38,926
One. Two.
Three. Four.
Five. Six. Load.
623
00:46:38,970 --> 00:46:41,711
In! Closed. Locked.
624
00:46:41,755 --> 00:46:43,626
Fire! Pull.
625
00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:45,150
Bang! Prepare to load.
626
00:46:45,193 --> 00:46:51,373
One. Two.
Three. Four.
Five. Six. Load.
627
00:46:52,679 --> 00:46:55,464
Excuse me, sir.
We've found one shell, sir.
628
00:46:55,508 --> 00:46:57,292
It was in the war museum, sir.
629
00:46:57,336 --> 00:46:59,729
There, you see?
I knew it.
630
00:46:59,773 --> 00:47:01,122
Where is it now?
631
00:47:01,166 --> 00:47:02,820
We've made a formal
application for its
use, sir.
632
00:47:02,863 --> 00:47:04,299
It's being sent down
under escort, sir.
633
00:47:04,343 --> 00:47:05,735
Good. Good.
634
00:47:05,779 --> 00:47:07,737
Now,
prepare the target
for 1500 hours today.
635
00:47:07,781 --> 00:47:09,217
And warn the locals
636
00:47:09,261 --> 00:47:11,176
that the bang they hear
will be one of ours.
637
00:47:11,219 --> 00:47:12,742
Right, sir.
638
00:47:44,035 --> 00:47:46,211
Red Leader,
Red Leader, this is Seagull.
639
00:47:46,254 --> 00:47:49,562
We are in position.
Ready when you are.
Over.
640
00:47:49,605 --> 00:47:52,565
They're in position, sir.Good. Good. Good.
641
00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:55,002
Right. Fire it now.
642
00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:56,351
What, now, sir?
643
00:47:56,395 --> 00:47:58,049
Yes, now. Fire it.
644
00:48:07,623 --> 00:48:10,670
It's not working, sir.
Shall we just shout
"bang"?
645
00:48:26,860 --> 00:48:29,558
Red Leader,
Red Leader,
this is Seagull.
646
00:48:29,602 --> 00:48:34,433
Have to report
Flying Fish is negative.
647
00:48:34,476 --> 00:48:38,741
Repeat, negative.
It's a bleeding dud!
648
00:48:38,785 --> 00:48:39,829
Well, what happened?
649
00:48:39,873 --> 00:48:41,092
It's a dud.
650
00:48:43,790 --> 00:48:44,791
A dud?
651
00:48:54,322 --> 00:48:56,934
Right. Now, it's
not a bloody bed,
keep doing it.
652
00:48:56,977 --> 00:48:58,239
Get them up in the air.
653
00:48:58,283 --> 00:48:59,849
Are you gonna punch that,
or I'll punch you?
654
00:48:59,893 --> 00:49:01,503
Don't be a bloody fool!
655
00:49:01,547 --> 00:49:04,289
Ought to be 1:00, all right?
656
00:49:04,332 --> 00:49:06,117
Move them round more.
657
00:49:08,510 --> 00:49:10,251
Right, keep this moving, lads.
Come on.
658
00:49:10,295 --> 00:49:13,602
One... Keep it going.
One after the other.
Come on. Next man.
659
00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:15,213
That's the stuff.
660
00:49:18,042 --> 00:49:19,652
All right.
661
00:49:19,695 --> 00:49:23,134
Now, line up.
Now, this time, men,
this time, I'd like...
662
00:49:24,309 --> 00:49:25,832
Attention!
663
00:49:27,051 --> 00:49:29,531
Just want a word
with them, Sergeant.
664
00:49:30,315 --> 00:49:32,143
All right, stand easy.
665
00:49:35,015 --> 00:49:38,453
Now, our neighbors,
the Second Highlanders,
666
00:49:38,497 --> 00:49:41,152
have challenged us to contest
the middleweight division
667
00:49:41,195 --> 00:49:43,850
in their annual boxing tournament.
668
00:49:43,893 --> 00:49:46,461
Now, the 56th Heavy
Artillery is not one
669
00:49:46,505 --> 00:49:48,986
to back down on a challenge,
is it?
670
00:49:49,029 --> 00:49:50,422
No, sir. No.
671
00:49:51,858 --> 00:49:53,207
I had in mind someone rather tall
672
00:49:53,251 --> 00:49:55,470
for the weight, athletic prowess,
673
00:49:55,514 --> 00:49:58,125
plenty of scientific skill,
great courage.
674
00:49:58,169 --> 00:49:59,909
So we shall need a volunteer,
shan't we?
675
00:50:02,042 --> 00:50:04,479
Yes? Dodgy lung, sir.
676
00:50:04,523 --> 00:50:09,049
I said we needed a volunteer.
677
00:50:09,093 --> 00:50:13,532
Come along, now, men,
surely I don't have
to choose a volunteer?
678
00:50:15,186 --> 00:50:16,535
Ah.
679
00:50:16,578 --> 00:50:18,667
Changed your mind, Neal?
Good man.
680
00:50:18,711 --> 00:50:20,843
I'm sure he won't
let us down, will you, Neal?
681
00:50:20,887 --> 00:50:23,368
Sir. Right, that's settled then.
682
00:50:23,411 --> 00:50:26,023
And Milligan and Watkins
can be your training partners.
683
00:50:26,066 --> 00:50:27,328
All right, carry on with
the good work, Sergeant.
684
00:50:27,372 --> 00:50:29,243
Sir! Attention!
685
00:50:34,944 --> 00:50:37,251
Right, you lot, back to work.
686
00:51:31,044 --> 00:51:33,916
All right, you lot,
get your gear on!
687
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:35,831
Put that cigarette out.
Get out of bed.
688
00:51:35,875 --> 00:51:38,095
Get the gas mask on.
689
00:51:38,138 --> 00:51:40,401
Milligan! Gas mask!
690
00:51:49,018 --> 00:51:51,456
Come on,
get out of here, all of you!
691
00:52:43,769 --> 00:52:46,206
Answer when I call your names,
all right?
692
00:52:46,250 --> 00:52:49,209
You hear what I said?
When I call your names,
answer loud.
693
00:52:55,215 --> 00:52:56,260
Neville?
694
00:52:57,913 --> 00:52:59,480
Neville?
695
00:52:59,524 --> 00:53:02,135
Come on, come on, where's Neville?
696
00:53:04,224 --> 00:53:05,094
Neville!
697
00:53:05,138 --> 00:53:06,487
Yes, sir.
698
00:53:06,531 --> 00:53:09,925
More like it. Neal?
699
00:53:09,969 --> 00:53:11,188
Neal? Yeah.
700
00:53:11,231 --> 00:53:13,059
All right. Black. I'm in here.
701
00:53:13,102 --> 00:53:15,192
Black! Yes, Sergeant.
702
00:53:15,235 --> 00:53:17,237
Sorry, Sergeant...
703
00:53:17,281 --> 00:53:19,413
Tell the men to take their...
704
00:53:22,938 --> 00:53:24,592
Tell the men to take
their masks off, Sergeant.
705
00:53:24,636 --> 00:53:26,115
We'll be here all bloody night.
706
00:53:26,159 --> 00:53:28,466
Get your masks off!
Masks off!
707
00:53:32,818 --> 00:53:36,604
Right. Now, then.
Shall I start the
roll again, sir?
708
00:53:36,648 --> 00:53:40,608
What? Yes, I suppose so.
709
00:53:40,652 --> 00:53:44,438
What do you think, Goldie? Do what you think, Sergeant.
710
00:53:44,482 --> 00:53:46,701
Sir. Neville.Sarge.
711
00:53:46,745 --> 00:53:48,050
Neal.Sarge.
712
00:53:48,094 --> 00:53:49,269
Burne. Yes, sir.
713
00:53:49,313 --> 00:53:50,923
Waters.Sergeant.
714
00:53:50,966 --> 00:53:52,359
Watkins.Sarge.
715
00:53:52,403 --> 00:53:54,100
Attention!
716
00:54:03,152 --> 00:54:06,243
Bad luck.
Dismiss the
parade, Sergeant.
717
00:54:06,286 --> 00:54:08,462
Sir! Squad!
718
00:54:09,420 --> 00:54:12,423
Squad dismissed!
719
00:54:13,859 --> 00:54:16,253
Right, go and get some kip, lads.
720
00:54:23,521 --> 00:54:26,088
I've never seen so
many bombers before.
721
00:54:26,132 --> 00:54:27,786
Neither have I.
722
00:54:29,135 --> 00:54:31,180
I wonder where they're heading.
723
00:54:31,224 --> 00:54:32,486
London.
724
00:54:34,227 --> 00:54:35,489
Do you think so, Bill?
725
00:54:35,533 --> 00:54:36,795
Where else?
726
00:54:38,318 --> 00:54:39,928
We're lucky it isn't us.
727
00:54:39,972 --> 00:54:41,278
That's a fact.
728
00:54:41,321 --> 00:54:42,931
Don't you worry, mate.
You won't cop it.
729
00:54:42,975 --> 00:54:45,107
Those civilians will
fight your war for you.
730
00:54:45,151 --> 00:54:46,979
Forget it, Spike.
731
00:54:48,459 --> 00:54:50,809
I didn't mean it like that, Spike.
732
00:54:51,375 --> 00:54:53,594
Jesus.
733
00:54:53,638 --> 00:54:55,466
Just look at that sky.
734
00:55:15,007 --> 00:55:17,139
Look at that.
735
00:55:17,183 --> 00:55:21,318
I feel so bloody helpless.
736
00:55:21,361 --> 00:55:24,190
Don't worry, mate.
London's well defended.
737
00:55:27,236 --> 00:55:31,676
Our folks,
they should be all right,
though, shouldn't they?
738
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:35,157
Yeah.
They've got shelters.
739
00:55:35,201 --> 00:55:38,639
Yeah.
They should be okay.
740
00:55:38,683 --> 00:55:41,381
Yeah.
It's all that
ack-ack, innit?
741
00:55:41,425 --> 00:55:44,384
Keeps the bombers up high.
742
00:55:44,428 --> 00:55:47,474
Affects their aim.
Isn't that right, Spike?
743
00:55:47,518 --> 00:55:50,347
What? Oh, yes.
744
00:55:51,391 --> 00:55:53,262
Yes, I suppose so.
745
00:57:26,530 --> 00:57:28,096
What, sir?
746
00:57:28,140 --> 00:57:29,315
What?
747
00:57:32,492 --> 00:57:35,452
Waters' family's
caught it in the raids.
748
00:57:36,540 --> 00:57:38,367
What, all of them?
749
00:57:38,411 --> 00:57:40,369
Yeah.
House, family, the lot.
750
00:57:40,413 --> 00:57:41,893
Jesus wept.
751
00:57:43,155 --> 00:57:45,679
He's just been told.
752
00:57:45,723 --> 00:57:47,464
Do what you can for him, lads.
753
00:57:47,507 --> 00:57:49,291
Sure.
754
00:57:49,335 --> 00:57:50,641
Yeah. Right.
755
00:57:52,338 --> 00:57:53,687
Poor sod.
756
00:58:15,579 --> 00:58:18,407
I wouldn't do that, mate.
It's not loaded.
757
00:58:21,585 --> 00:58:24,501
God, Larry, that's terrible.
758
00:58:24,544 --> 00:58:26,720
Yeah, you'll be all right.
Larry?
759
00:58:34,902 --> 00:58:38,210
I'd better go after him. You leave him be, mate.
760
00:58:55,401 --> 00:58:57,664
What a load of rubbish!
761
00:59:07,587 --> 00:59:09,720
Now, get him on the ropes,
son, and he's yours.
762
00:59:09,763 --> 00:59:11,417
His blind spot.
Do you know what I mean?
763
00:59:11,460 --> 00:59:12,592
His blind spot.
764
00:59:12,636 --> 00:59:14,551
Go for the breadbasket
in the clinches.
765
00:59:14,594 --> 00:59:16,553
Bite his ear in close.
766
00:59:16,596 --> 00:59:18,685
And don't give him
a moment to breathe. You're with us.
767
00:59:18,729 --> 00:59:20,557
Yeah. Yeah. We're with you.
768
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,384
For Christ's sake,
stop slapping me!
769
00:59:22,428 --> 00:59:23,560
You need it to build you up, Bill.
770
00:59:23,603 --> 00:59:24,561
I know. I know.
771
00:59:24,604 --> 00:59:25,605
Cool, cool. You all right, Neal?
772
00:59:25,649 --> 00:59:27,041
Yeah. Yeah.
773
00:59:27,085 --> 00:59:28,565
He's fine, Sarge.
Fine.
774
00:59:28,608 --> 00:59:30,828
Oh, bleeding hell,
will you leave off?
775
00:59:51,631 --> 00:59:53,894
There!
Behind the curtain!
776
00:59:53,938 --> 00:59:56,331
What's behind the curtain?
777
00:59:56,375 --> 00:59:58,943
The national bloody anthem!
778
01:00:18,963 --> 01:00:22,619
My lords, ladies and gentlemen.
779
01:00:23,707 --> 01:00:26,797
Gentlemen, please.
780
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:31,105
The first fight of the night
is a feathered weight
contest of...
781
01:00:33,673 --> 01:00:34,979
Feathered weight!
782
01:00:35,022 --> 01:00:38,547
At the weigh-in, Reynolds,
in the red corner...
783
01:00:42,334 --> 01:00:46,381
And Richards
in the blue corner,
nine stone, four pounds.
784
01:00:49,820 --> 01:00:53,475
The referee is
Mr. Bill Thompson,
and the timekeeper...
785
01:01:09,404 --> 01:01:12,886
All right, stand up, mate.
Now, don't you worry, boy.
786
01:01:12,930 --> 01:01:14,671
You are gonna chew him up.
787
01:01:14,714 --> 01:01:17,499
He's far too tense.
You'll have to loosen up.
788
01:01:17,543 --> 01:01:18,892
Right,
on the table.
On the table.
789
01:01:18,936 --> 01:01:20,677
On the table.
790
01:01:22,591 --> 01:01:23,723
Right? Over.
791
01:01:23,767 --> 01:01:25,986
One.Good. Lovely.
792
01:01:26,030 --> 01:01:27,727
Two.
793
01:01:27,771 --> 01:01:28,728
To the ankles.
794
01:01:30,382 --> 01:01:31,470
Me spine!
795
01:01:35,039 --> 01:01:36,083
What's the matter with him?
796
01:01:36,127 --> 01:01:38,738
Help me. I'm crippled!
797
01:01:38,782 --> 01:01:40,218
You stupid bleeders.
798
01:01:41,872 --> 01:01:43,917
Well, what are we
gonna do, then,
Sarge?
799
01:01:43,961 --> 01:01:45,919
We'll need a replacement.
800
01:01:52,273 --> 01:01:55,624
I'll go and get one. Milligan! Get changed.
801
01:01:55,668 --> 01:01:57,452
Oh, no, look, please,
Sarge. Look, I...
802
01:01:57,496 --> 01:01:59,716
Don't worry, lad.
He's only little.
803
01:01:59,759 --> 01:02:01,543
Only little.
Well, how little?
804
01:02:01,587 --> 01:02:03,284
Oh, very little.
He's almost a dwarf.
805
01:02:03,328 --> 01:02:05,112
A big dwarf or a small dwarf?
806
01:02:05,156 --> 01:02:07,071
Oh, go on, Spike, you can do it.
807
01:02:07,114 --> 01:02:09,726
There's no need
to worry about it.
It's an order.
808
01:02:09,769 --> 01:02:11,858
Please, Sarge. Get off.
Watkins, help him.
809
01:02:11,902 --> 01:02:13,730
Sarge! Oh, no, please, Sarge...
810
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:24,218
All right.
Not too hard.
811
01:02:24,262 --> 01:02:25,393
He'll punch you before he goes in.
812
01:02:25,437 --> 01:02:26,612
What's the matter with you?
813
01:02:26,655 --> 01:02:27,744
Please would you stop?
I'm not ready.
814
01:02:27,787 --> 01:02:28,875
Come on, don't muck about.
815
01:02:28,919 --> 01:02:30,268
Please, I'm gonna bloody...
816
01:02:30,311 --> 01:02:31,660
But I'm not gonna do it!
I am not going...
817
01:02:31,704 --> 01:02:33,227
Milligan, come on.
818
01:02:33,271 --> 01:02:34,620
Bill, this is all your fault!
819
01:02:34,663 --> 01:02:35,752
Come on.
820
01:02:35,795 --> 01:02:36,796
Bill...
821
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:38,102
Help!
822
01:02:40,844 --> 01:02:42,933
Help!
823
01:02:45,631 --> 01:02:46,937
Help.
824
01:03:08,872 --> 01:03:11,483
That's not our man. A substitute?
825
01:03:13,311 --> 01:03:15,835
Use your hands on him,
not your teeth.
826
01:03:20,535 --> 01:03:21,841
My God!
827
01:03:21,885 --> 01:03:24,104
What did you say
about science, Jack?
828
01:03:24,148 --> 01:03:25,279
Milligan,
the regiment's
watching you.
829
01:03:25,323 --> 01:03:26,454
I'm gonna join my regiment.
830
01:03:26,498 --> 01:03:28,152
Milligan!
831
01:03:28,195 --> 01:03:29,806
Look, Sarge,
I am not fighting that
till I've heard it talk.
832
01:03:29,849 --> 01:03:30,807
Don't let appearances fool you.
833
01:03:30,850 --> 01:03:31,938
They haven't.
They haven't.
834
01:03:31,982 --> 01:03:33,287
Don't worry, Spike.
You can do it.
835
01:03:33,331 --> 01:03:34,549
You sure I can do it? Yes, you can do it.
836
01:03:34,593 --> 01:03:35,637
Here.
837
01:03:35,681 --> 01:03:37,422
Have a drink. All right?
838
01:03:38,336 --> 01:03:40,207
Don't do that, please.
839
01:03:44,342 --> 01:03:48,172
Now, then.
I want a clean fight.
840
01:03:48,215 --> 01:03:50,522
And when I say "break," break!
841
01:03:50,565 --> 01:03:54,134
Now,
then, go to your corners,
come out on the bell. Right?
842
01:03:54,178 --> 01:03:55,179
Right.Right.
843
01:03:55,222 --> 01:03:57,834
Seconds out. Round one!
844
01:05:11,646 --> 01:05:13,561
You dirty slop pan!
845
01:05:13,605 --> 01:05:15,433
You hit Stewie in the groonies!
846
01:05:21,091 --> 01:05:23,745
Your man doesn't
fight fair, does he?
847
01:05:23,789 --> 01:05:25,834
It's the excitement, Colin.
848
01:05:29,969 --> 01:05:30,839
Wally.Yes.
849
01:05:30,883 --> 01:05:33,190
Give us a rifle.
I'll kill him.
850
01:05:40,806 --> 01:05:43,069
Seconds out. Round two!
851
01:05:43,113 --> 01:05:44,897
Use Big Bertha.
852
01:06:02,306 --> 01:06:06,266
One! Two! Three! Four!
853
01:06:13,230 --> 01:06:15,319
Kill him, Spike!
Kill him!
854
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:10,417
I think my lad has the edge.
855
01:07:10,461 --> 01:07:12,332
Two bottles of Scotch Mist
say he hasn't.
856
01:07:12,376 --> 01:07:13,551
You're on.
857
01:07:13,594 --> 01:07:16,336
Let him come to you!
Let him come to you!
858
01:07:17,555 --> 01:07:19,035
Just keep away, all right?
Keep away.
859
01:07:19,078 --> 01:07:20,601
I think he's out in front now.
860
01:07:20,645 --> 01:07:22,038
Just stay, stay,
stay away from,
from...
861
01:07:22,081 --> 01:07:23,865
Keep away!
862
01:07:23,909 --> 01:07:26,694
Seconds out.
Third and final round.
863
01:07:26,738 --> 01:07:27,956
What?
864
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:29,958
Get it?
Stay away from him.
865
01:07:41,492 --> 01:07:43,972
Come on, Stewart,
you've not hit him yet.
866
01:07:44,016 --> 01:07:45,844
You've not hit him!
867
01:07:48,934 --> 01:07:50,979
One, two, three...
868
01:07:51,023 --> 01:07:53,982
I think I'd better throw
the bloody towel in.
He'll bloody kill him!
869
01:08:35,633 --> 01:08:37,287
Right, on you come.
870
01:08:40,028 --> 01:08:43,641
Easy, lads.
You're not on
a bloody trapeze.
871
01:08:45,469 --> 01:08:46,992
Three or four goes of this,
872
01:08:47,035 --> 01:08:50,169
and you'll know what
a knee-trembler really means.
873
01:08:50,213 --> 01:08:52,128
That'll teach you
not to muck around
874
01:08:52,171 --> 01:08:55,566
with those little birdies
behind the Naafi, Watkins.
875
01:08:57,045 --> 01:08:58,656
Watch out.
876
01:08:58,699 --> 01:09:02,355
Come on. Come on, lads.
877
01:09:02,399 --> 01:09:05,663
Get up, lads.
Who's driving
that bloody mess tin?
878
01:09:19,198 --> 01:09:20,460
Good. Excellent.
879
01:09:20,504 --> 01:09:21,983
Shall I get them down, sir?
880
01:09:22,027 --> 01:09:23,289
No, no, no.
Leave them where they are.
881
01:09:23,333 --> 01:09:25,335
Mustn't interfere
too much, you know.
882
01:09:25,378 --> 01:09:29,034
Men, you are now approaching
the final phase of your
training.
883
01:09:29,077 --> 01:09:30,209
Up to now you may have thought
884
01:09:30,253 --> 01:09:31,819
that there was no
more to soldiering
885
01:09:31,863 --> 01:09:35,214
than PT, parades, and inspections.
886
01:09:35,258 --> 01:09:38,652
Nothing could be more wrong,
believe me.
887
01:09:38,696 --> 01:09:40,915
As you know,
our Scottish colleagues,
888
01:09:40,959 --> 01:09:43,309
the Second Highlanders,
a regular regiment,
889
01:09:43,353 --> 01:09:44,832
are imparting the final lick
890
01:09:44,876 --> 01:09:47,183
which will turn you
into professional soldiers.
891
01:09:47,226 --> 01:09:48,575
British soldiers.
892
01:09:48,619 --> 01:09:52,231
And we,
the officers of
this regiment, know
893
01:09:52,275 --> 01:09:55,060
that when you finally take
the field against the Germans,
894
01:09:55,103 --> 01:09:59,847
the skills we have taught you
and the martial traditions
of our race
895
01:09:59,891 --> 01:10:03,068
will transform you
into an invincible opponent.
896
01:10:04,287 --> 01:10:08,204
So, men, tonight you sleep,
897
01:10:08,247 --> 01:10:13,209
and tomorrow you'll train
and train and train again!
898
01:10:17,561 --> 01:10:19,563
Squad, attention!
899
01:10:22,087 --> 01:10:24,089
A most satisfactory day, Sergeant.
900
01:10:24,132 --> 01:10:26,004
Thank you, sir.
Yes, sir.
901
01:10:27,266 --> 01:10:30,443
Look out, Adolf.
Here we come!
902
01:10:39,931 --> 01:10:42,194
Move it!
Let's have you, come on!
903
01:10:51,595 --> 01:10:53,771
He'll breathe on
your glasses, laddie,
904
01:10:53,814 --> 01:10:55,947
and rape you.
Come on, move it!
905
01:10:59,777 --> 01:11:01,909
Go on! In!
906
01:11:01,953 --> 01:11:05,261
Come on, lift your feet up!
In! In!
907
01:11:05,304 --> 01:11:07,828
Move it!
Let's have you! Come on!
908
01:11:16,315 --> 01:11:19,013
What's the matter
with you, Milligan?
909
01:11:19,057 --> 01:11:21,886
That's a filthy
German you've got there.
910
01:11:23,496 --> 01:11:25,150
Now stab him.
911
01:11:26,804 --> 01:11:30,764
That's my manny. In. Out.
912
01:11:30,808 --> 01:11:33,114
Cut. Rip.
913
01:11:33,158 --> 01:11:35,334
Slash. Kill.
914
01:11:35,378 --> 01:11:37,336
Kill. Kill!
915
01:11:37,380 --> 01:11:39,599
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
916
01:11:41,340 --> 01:11:46,127
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
917
01:11:46,171 --> 01:11:49,870
Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.
918
01:11:51,002 --> 01:11:52,177
Kill.
919
01:11:54,571 --> 01:11:57,182
Don't worry.
It's just good clean fun.
920
01:12:02,405 --> 01:12:05,146
Right. Now,
I know all you lads
921
01:12:05,190 --> 01:12:07,627
fancy yourselves as wee Tarzans,
922
01:12:07,671 --> 01:12:11,805
so we've devised this little
exercise to pander to you.
923
01:12:11,849 --> 01:12:16,810
I want each of you
to get on yon platform,
grab the rope, swing across,
924
01:12:16,854 --> 01:12:19,726
and send the rope back.
You understand?
925
01:12:19,770 --> 01:12:21,337
Yes, Sarge.
926
01:12:21,380 --> 01:12:23,382
I hope so, lads,
927
01:12:23,426 --> 01:12:27,386
because beyond
the innocent-looking bushes
928
01:12:27,430 --> 01:12:32,217
are really
vicious stinging nettles
and bum-piercing thistles
929
01:12:32,957 --> 01:12:35,829
to keep you aloft.
930
01:12:35,873 --> 01:12:37,831
You understand now? ALL: Yes.
931
01:12:37,875 --> 01:12:39,137
Right, then!
932
01:12:39,180 --> 01:12:41,574
You, Milligan,
Neal, you're first. After me.
933
01:12:51,584 --> 01:12:52,890
Right.
934
01:12:55,414 --> 01:12:58,417
I'll go first,
send the rope back
for each of you.
935
01:12:58,461 --> 01:12:59,679
Do you ken?
936
01:13:03,901 --> 01:13:05,163
Right!
937
01:13:08,732 --> 01:13:10,429
Right, laddie.
938
01:13:17,262 --> 01:13:19,177
Me goolies! SERGEANT: Three of us...
939
01:13:24,748 --> 01:13:27,968
Where's me kilt?
Where's me kilt? Mother!
940
01:13:28,012 --> 01:13:30,275
You bloody English fools!
941
01:13:31,319 --> 01:13:32,582
Well, men,
942
01:13:32,625 --> 01:13:35,628
a significant landmark
has just been passed.
943
01:13:35,672 --> 01:13:39,153
Your training has been
successfully concluded.
944
01:13:39,197 --> 01:13:40,807
As from today,
945
01:13:40,851 --> 01:13:44,071
you may consider yourselves
as fully trained British
soldiers.
946
01:13:44,115 --> 01:13:47,248
However, there is one
last item on our agenda.
947
01:13:47,292 --> 01:13:48,902
In order that you may
try out your new skills,
948
01:13:48,946 --> 01:13:50,904
we intend to give you a test.
949
01:13:50,948 --> 01:13:52,776
Oh, God!
Not another one.
950
01:13:52,819 --> 01:13:55,735
I'll just put you in the picture.
951
01:13:55,779 --> 01:13:59,304
Here is our secret HQ, in red.
952
01:13:59,347 --> 01:14:01,306
It is in fact a tent,
the location of which
953
01:14:01,349 --> 01:14:03,917
is known only to
myself and the staff.
954
01:14:03,961 --> 01:14:09,270
Here is
the enemy's HQ,
in blue, also secret.
955
01:14:09,314 --> 01:14:13,927
Our mission is to seek
this out and destroy it.
956
01:14:13,971 --> 01:14:16,016
Their job is to try and stop us.
957
01:14:32,380 --> 01:14:34,470
Turn left at the next turning.
958
01:14:36,733 --> 01:14:39,300
Can you see anything, Larry?
959
01:14:39,344 --> 01:14:41,607
No. Nothing.
960
01:14:41,651 --> 01:14:43,609
Yet.
961
01:14:43,653 --> 01:14:45,568
What about your side, Pongo?
962
01:14:47,439 --> 01:14:50,224
There's no left turn
on this side either.
963
01:14:53,227 --> 01:14:54,794
Are you sure we're
going the right way?
964
01:14:54,838 --> 01:14:56,492
Leave it to me, mate.
965
01:14:56,535 --> 01:14:59,407
Our first checkpoint
should be coming up soon.
966
01:15:00,583 --> 01:15:01,497
Turn left.
967
01:15:06,850 --> 01:15:09,896
We should have
heard from them by now.
968
01:15:09,940 --> 01:15:11,332
- Calling Sunray.
- Calling Sunray.
969
01:15:11,376 --> 01:15:13,073
I think
they're coming
through now, sir.
970
01:15:13,117 --> 01:15:15,336
This is Seagull. Over.
971
01:15:15,380 --> 01:15:16,555
Seagull, sir.
972
01:15:16,599 --> 01:15:17,687
Jolly good.
973
01:15:19,732 --> 01:15:23,519
We have reached our
first objective, sir.
Over.
974
01:15:23,562 --> 01:15:26,086
Very good work, Seagull.
975
01:15:26,130 --> 01:15:28,001
Now, according to your map,
976
01:15:28,045 --> 01:15:29,873
you should be on
the top of a hill,
977
01:15:29,916 --> 01:15:32,528
looking down into
a beautiful green valley.
978
01:15:41,798 --> 01:15:43,364
Now, move on to point two,
979
01:15:43,408 --> 01:15:45,715
which
you'll find somewhere
in grid reference 24.
980
01:15:45,758 --> 01:15:49,196
And remember,
Blue Rover is on
the lookout for you,
981
01:15:49,240 --> 01:15:51,198
so use your
initiative at all times.
982
01:15:51,242 --> 01:15:52,591
Over and out.
983
01:16:04,516 --> 01:16:06,387
What are we looking for now?
984
01:16:06,431 --> 01:16:07,954
We're looking for a bridge.
985
01:16:07,998 --> 01:16:10,609
A small bridge made of wood.
986
01:16:10,653 --> 01:16:11,871
But first...
987
01:16:11,915 --> 01:16:13,612
What?
988
01:16:13,656 --> 01:16:15,309
We're lost.
989
01:16:27,539 --> 01:16:30,107
What are you going backwards for?
990
01:16:31,499 --> 01:16:33,458
Forward! I know!
991
01:16:37,636 --> 01:16:39,203
There! There!
992
01:17:06,534 --> 01:17:09,059
They went that way!
993
01:17:21,201 --> 01:17:24,291
Where are we going?
994
01:17:24,335 --> 01:17:28,165
According to my calculations,
the main road is straight
ahead.
995
01:17:32,430 --> 01:17:34,780
Well, what's happened
to the bleeding road
then?
996
01:17:34,824 --> 01:17:37,653
There's a war on.
They need the concrete.
997
01:18:10,076 --> 01:18:11,251
Push!
998
01:18:18,911 --> 01:18:20,086
Push!
999
01:18:57,515 --> 01:19:00,431
Any sign of them? I think we're clear.
1000
01:19:04,087 --> 01:19:05,784
Where are we now?
1001
01:19:05,828 --> 01:19:09,266
If we stick to this road,
we will reach that bridge.
1002
01:19:09,309 --> 01:19:10,876
Are you sure?
1003
01:19:10,920 --> 01:19:14,097
Leave it to me, mate.
They'll never find us now.
1004
01:19:38,208 --> 01:19:40,123
Hey, they're behind us!
1005
01:19:44,823 --> 01:19:46,129
They're coming now!
1006
01:19:46,172 --> 01:19:47,695
Right.
Let's get out of here.
1007
01:21:09,908 --> 01:21:13,303
Sunray, Sunray, come in.
This is Seagull.
1008
01:21:14,782 --> 01:21:18,308
Sunray, Sunray,
this is Seagull. Over.
1009
01:21:24,227 --> 01:21:28,231
Sunray, calling Sunray,
this is Seagull.
1010
01:21:28,274 --> 01:21:29,580
Sir, Seagull's coming through.
1011
01:21:29,623 --> 01:21:30,798
Sunray, Sunray, this is Seagull.
1012
01:21:30,842 --> 01:21:32,888
There you are, Tony.
Told you they'd do it.
1013
01:21:32,931 --> 01:21:33,758
Over.
1014
01:21:35,934 --> 01:21:39,372
Seagull? This is Sunray.
Give us your position.
Over.
1015
01:21:39,416 --> 01:21:43,072
We have located Blue Rover's nest.
1016
01:21:43,115 --> 01:21:47,424
I repeat, Blue Rover's nest.
Over.
1017
01:21:47,467 --> 01:21:49,730
Have you, by God?
Do you hear that?
1018
01:21:49,774 --> 01:21:51,907
They've run enemy HQ to earth.
1019
01:21:51,950 --> 01:21:53,952
This is very good
work indeed, Seagull.
1020
01:21:53,996 --> 01:21:55,954
Stand by to receive
attack instructions.
1021
01:21:55,998 --> 01:21:57,260
Unload the crates.
1022
01:21:57,303 --> 01:21:59,958
And inside them,
you'll find bags
of liquid.
1023
01:22:00,002 --> 01:22:02,221
Now, these are your bombs.
1024
01:22:02,265 --> 01:22:04,267
Plenty for each of you.
1025
01:22:04,310 --> 01:22:06,747
You're to advance
and bombard the area
with these stain bombs.
1026
01:22:06,791 --> 01:22:07,923
Yes, sir.
1027
01:22:07,966 --> 01:22:09,837
And use your bayonets
to destroy the tent.
1028
01:22:09,881 --> 01:22:10,969
And finally...
1029
01:22:11,013 --> 01:22:12,579
Yes, sir?
1030
01:22:12,623 --> 01:22:15,104
...you will find
blankets and cords
for your hostages.
1031
01:22:15,147 --> 01:22:17,106
Hostages, sir?
1032
01:22:17,149 --> 01:22:18,934
You're to capture
all personnel present
1033
01:22:18,977 --> 01:22:20,979
and report to the referee
in the main camp.
1034
01:22:21,023 --> 01:22:24,852
Good luck. You've performed
absolutely brilliantly so far.
1035
01:22:24,896 --> 01:22:26,289
Over and out.
1036
01:22:32,860 --> 01:22:35,776
Well, sir, we did it.
1037
01:22:35,820 --> 01:22:38,866
The men, Tony.
Never forget the men.
1038
01:22:38,910 --> 01:22:41,521
Our leadership,
but their initiative.
1039
01:22:41,565 --> 01:22:42,958
Yes, sir.
1040
01:22:50,574 --> 01:22:53,142
Well, they've got
a lovely day for it.
1041
01:23:10,333 --> 01:23:12,683
Charge!
1042
01:24:32,763 --> 01:24:34,765
Oh, God. Come on, push.
1043
01:24:45,123 --> 01:24:50,824
Well, it won't be long now
before we see the fruits
of your labors.
1044
01:24:50,868 --> 01:24:55,090
I'm afraid some of my seed
may have fallen on stony
ground, sir.
1045
01:24:55,133 --> 01:24:58,484
That was a bit careless,
was it not?
1046
01:24:58,528 --> 01:25:03,228
What I mean, sir,
is the raw material
was a bit wanting.
1047
01:25:03,272 --> 01:25:05,796
Only to be expected.
1048
01:25:05,839 --> 01:25:07,885
They're English, aren't they?
1049
01:25:33,911 --> 01:25:36,261
Enemy camp destroyed, sir.
1050
01:25:36,305 --> 01:25:38,655
Well done, Milligan.
We'd almost given you up.
1051
01:25:38,698 --> 01:25:41,136
And who are they?
1052
01:25:41,179 --> 01:25:44,965
That's the enemy commander
and staff, sir.
1053
01:25:45,009 --> 01:25:46,184
Is that so, now?
1054
01:25:46,228 --> 01:25:47,446
Sir.
1055
01:25:47,490 --> 01:25:49,709
I am the enemy commander.
1056
01:25:53,235 --> 01:25:55,019
You are the enemy commander, sir?
1057
01:25:55,062 --> 01:25:56,716
That I am.
1058
01:25:58,196 --> 01:25:59,937
I mean, you can't...
1059
01:26:04,115 --> 01:26:06,683
You are the enemy
commander, sir. Yes.
1060
01:26:08,337 --> 01:26:11,992
Well, sir,
there is someone going
round impersonating you.
1061
01:26:12,036 --> 01:26:13,516
Oh?
1062
01:26:13,559 --> 01:26:14,952
Come with me.
1063
01:26:19,043 --> 01:26:20,523
Get him undone!
1064
01:26:26,790 --> 01:26:27,878
Milligan!
1065
01:26:32,361 --> 01:26:34,189
On your feet. My socks...
1066
01:26:34,232 --> 01:26:36,234
Up!
1067
01:26:36,278 --> 01:26:37,540
Good morning, sir.
1068
01:26:37,583 --> 01:26:39,019
Have you got everything you want?
1069
01:26:39,063 --> 01:26:40,369
Oh, no, sir, no.
I haven't got
a Bentley.
1070
01:26:40,412 --> 01:26:42,762
Silence!
1071
01:26:42,806 --> 01:26:45,591
Who is that? He's my father, sir.
He's a funny man.
1072
01:26:45,635 --> 01:26:47,027
Well, he'll have to go. Well, yes, sir.
1073
01:26:47,071 --> 01:26:48,115
Where would you like him to go?
1074
01:26:48,159 --> 01:26:49,726
I think he'd look
lovely on a piano.
1075
01:26:49,769 --> 01:26:51,206
Put him out of my sight.
1076
01:26:51,249 --> 01:26:52,685
It's not allowed.
Do you hear?
1077
01:26:52,729 --> 01:26:55,253
Pardon? Do you hear?
1078
01:26:55,297 --> 01:26:57,124
Hear what, sir?
1079
01:26:57,168 --> 01:26:59,214
Look, I'm not
having any private being
a smart aleck at my expense.
1080
01:26:59,257 --> 01:27:02,042
No, no, sir.
No expense.
I did it free.
1081
01:27:02,086 --> 01:27:03,914
Put this man under arrest,
will you?
1082
01:27:03,957 --> 01:27:06,090
But he is, sir.
He is under arrest.
1083
01:27:06,133 --> 01:27:07,613
Consider yourself lucky, Milligan.
1084
01:27:07,657 --> 01:27:09,354
Tomorrow is your last day here.
1085
01:27:09,398 --> 01:27:11,226
Your regiment is
being posted abroad,
1086
01:27:11,269 --> 01:27:14,054
and you have been
granted home leave.
1087
01:27:14,098 --> 01:27:16,274
Thank you, sir.
1088
01:27:16,318 --> 01:27:18,102
And you, madam.
1089
01:27:20,104 --> 01:27:23,760
Whatever you do, Sarge,
please don't slam the door.
1090
01:27:25,588 --> 01:27:27,590
Hello, Mum. Son!
1091
01:27:30,027 --> 01:27:32,072
Look at you. Well?
1092
01:27:32,116 --> 01:27:33,291
You've changed.
1093
01:27:33,335 --> 01:27:35,075
Well,
just me vest.
I didn't go mad.
1094
01:27:35,119 --> 01:27:38,165
Who is it, Kitty? Wait and see, Dad.
1095
01:27:38,209 --> 01:27:41,299
Now, mother,
what's that... Hello, Captain.
1096
01:27:41,343 --> 01:27:44,084
Terence! Welcome home,
dear lad. Welcome home.
1097
01:27:44,128 --> 01:27:45,477
Nice to see you. How's the war going?
All right?
1098
01:27:45,521 --> 01:27:46,565
The war is going...
1099
01:27:47,784 --> 01:27:48,785
...and "bang"!
1100
01:27:48,828 --> 01:27:50,134
Right. Well,
we're going to dine
1101
01:27:50,177 --> 01:27:51,962
in style tonight,
at Le Hotel Anderson.
1102
01:27:52,005 --> 01:27:54,138
He means the shelter.Yeah.
1103
01:27:54,181 --> 01:27:56,575
Yes, sir. Have you got
my headscarf, Mother?
I haven't got my wig on.
1104
01:27:56,619 --> 01:27:58,229
Oh, yes, dear, yes.
1105
01:28:06,324 --> 01:28:07,499
Yes, I must've mislaid the key.
1106
01:28:07,543 --> 01:28:08,979
I'm sorry about that.
1107
01:28:09,022 --> 01:28:11,764
They say
there's another
secret passage here...
1108
01:28:11,808 --> 01:28:13,200
What do they do?
1109
01:28:13,244 --> 01:28:15,333
Well,
what they do
is what they do.
1110
01:28:15,377 --> 01:28:19,206
Bless us, oh,
Lord, and these, thy gifts,
which we're about to receive,
1111
01:28:19,250 --> 01:28:21,861
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
1112
01:28:21,905 --> 01:28:23,950
Name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Ghost.
1113
01:28:23,994 --> 01:28:25,169
Amen. Pass the salt, Dad.
1114
01:28:25,212 --> 01:28:28,303
There isn't any, son.
The convoy went down.
1115
01:28:28,346 --> 01:28:30,305
Nevertheless,
you can partake
of this frugal meal
1116
01:28:30,348 --> 01:28:33,612
flown from the four
corners of the Empire
by His Majesty's Air Force.
1117
01:28:33,656 --> 01:28:34,961
God bless the man.
1118
01:28:35,005 --> 01:28:36,659
Makes you feel good
to be British, Mum.
1119
01:28:36,702 --> 01:28:39,314
I do hope they're
feeding you well, son.
1120
01:28:39,357 --> 01:28:41,054
Yeah. Yeah. Of course they are.
1121
01:28:41,098 --> 01:28:42,795
Of course they are. Really?
1122
01:28:42,839 --> 01:28:46,016
There's plenty more
of these lease-lend
eggplant if you want it.
1123
01:28:46,059 --> 01:28:47,670
Could I have more tea,
Mum, please?
1124
01:28:47,713 --> 01:28:49,498
How do you take your
tea these days, son?
1125
01:28:49,541 --> 01:28:51,195
Wartime strength, Dad.
1126
01:28:52,370 --> 01:28:54,198
They've stopped bombing.
1127
01:28:54,241 --> 01:28:56,461
Even the Germans
have to eat sometimes.
1128
01:28:56,505 --> 01:28:59,290
I've got a surprise
for you, Terence.
1129
01:29:01,771 --> 01:29:04,469
Chateau Liversan, 1934.
1130
01:29:04,513 --> 01:29:05,731
He won it in a raffle.
1131
01:29:05,775 --> 01:29:06,993
Yeah.
1132
01:29:07,037 --> 01:29:08,473
It's at shelter temperature.
1133
01:29:08,517 --> 01:29:10,519
Thanks, Dad.
1134
01:29:10,562 --> 01:29:12,259
Now, remember,
1135
01:29:12,303 --> 01:29:17,003
we've always
been a close family,
never been parted before.
1136
01:29:17,047 --> 01:29:20,267
Anyhow, let's hope
that after this war
we're still together,
1137
01:29:20,311 --> 01:29:23,183
and happy, and in one piece.
1138
01:29:23,227 --> 01:29:27,362
Till it's over, then,
let's drink a toast
to the family,
1139
01:29:27,405 --> 01:29:29,015
to the Milligans.
1140
01:29:34,064 --> 01:29:35,848
By God, that's great stuff.
1141
01:29:35,892 --> 01:29:37,372
Run out and buy
another raffle ticket.
1142
01:29:37,415 --> 01:29:38,547
Dad, don't move.
1143
01:29:38,590 --> 01:29:39,983
Give us a handkerchief, Mum. Don't move?
1144
01:29:40,026 --> 01:29:41,767
I have
no interest in moving.
The rent here is cheap.
1145
01:29:41,811 --> 01:29:45,031
Just hold that there.
I'll get some cotton wool.
1146
01:29:47,338 --> 01:29:50,428
Good heavens.
Good heavens.
1147
01:30:10,666 --> 01:30:13,582
Have one on me, sir! Up yours, Milligan!
1148
01:30:13,625 --> 01:30:15,714
See you later, sir! Good luck, dear sir.
1149
01:30:15,758 --> 01:30:17,934
And all who sail in her, eh?
1150
01:30:19,370 --> 01:30:20,458
Look out, Neville!
1151
01:30:20,502 --> 01:30:22,547
She's not much, sir!
1152
01:30:22,591 --> 01:30:24,810
She just lies there
and chews the pillow!
1153
01:30:27,770 --> 01:30:29,293
Hello, doll!
1154
01:31:25,567 --> 01:31:27,351
You are watching the time, sir?
1155
01:31:27,394 --> 01:31:29,875
Oh, thank you very much,
Sergeant. Yes, thank you.
1156
01:31:29,919 --> 01:31:32,008
I'll just have a word
with them before I go.
1157
01:31:32,051 --> 01:31:33,662
I'll get them nice
and quiet for you, sir.
1158
01:31:33,705 --> 01:31:36,491
All right, could we have
a bit of quiet, lads?
Everyone!
1159
01:31:36,534 --> 01:31:39,624
Nice and quiet, please.
At the back. Nice and quiet.
1160
01:31:39,668 --> 01:31:42,888
Major Drysdale would like
to have a few words with you.
1161
01:31:44,063 --> 01:31:46,501
Thank you, son.
1162
01:31:46,544 --> 01:31:50,679
Gentlemen, thank you very
much indeed for the drink.
1163
01:31:50,722 --> 01:31:52,507
I'd just like to have
a few words with you
1164
01:31:52,550 --> 01:31:57,163
because it'll probably be
the last opportunity
I shall have.
1165
01:31:57,207 --> 01:32:01,298
This regiment has an
appointment with the Boche.
1166
01:32:02,691 --> 01:32:05,041
And, as you know,
the Royal Regiment
1167
01:32:05,084 --> 01:32:06,651
always keeps its appointments.
1168
01:32:06,695 --> 01:32:08,174
Yes!
1169
01:32:08,218 --> 01:32:10,002
Yes, sir.
1170
01:32:10,046 --> 01:32:13,832
No one's pretending
that it's going to be
an easy job. It isn't.
1171
01:32:13,876 --> 01:32:18,010
But amongst the fighting men
of the world,
1172
01:32:18,054 --> 01:32:20,012
the British soldier is the finest.
1173
01:32:20,056 --> 01:32:21,710
Yes, sir.
1174
01:32:21,753 --> 01:32:24,930
Now, always remember that
and the army will be
proud of you.
1175
01:32:24,974 --> 01:32:29,239
So far, men,
Jerry has had it
all his own way.
1176
01:32:29,282 --> 01:32:31,937
But your turn has now come.
1177
01:32:31,981 --> 01:32:34,461
Your cause is just,
1178
01:32:34,505 --> 01:32:36,594
so have faith, gentlemen.
1179
01:32:36,638 --> 01:32:40,206
Have faith in your God,
trust your officers,
1180
01:32:40,250 --> 01:32:43,558
and believe in the great
traditions of your arms,
1181
01:32:43,601 --> 01:32:45,951
and there can only be one result.
1182
01:32:45,995 --> 01:32:48,563
Complete and total victory.
1183
01:32:48,606 --> 01:32:49,607
Hear! Hear!
1184
01:32:49,651 --> 01:32:50,956
Hear! Hear!
1185
01:32:51,000 --> 01:32:53,045
It's your night, boys.
1186
01:32:53,089 --> 01:32:55,221
Enjoy yourselves
1187
01:32:55,265 --> 01:32:57,441
and don't do anything
that I wouldn't have
done at your age.
1188
01:33:03,621 --> 01:33:06,581
# For he's a jolly good fellow
1189
01:33:06,624 --> 01:33:08,800
# For he's a jolly good fellow
1190
01:33:08,844 --> 01:33:12,587
# For he's a jolly good fellow
1191
01:33:12,630 --> 01:33:15,285
# And so say all of us
1192
01:33:20,638 --> 01:33:23,206
Well, here's to a good war, Jack.
1193
01:33:24,511 --> 01:33:26,383
Oh, it will be, Colin.
1194
01:33:28,124 --> 01:33:29,604
For some of us.
1195
01:36:29,479 --> 01:36:31,481
All right, lads!
Right down the front.
1196
01:36:31,524 --> 01:36:33,831
Turn round the corner,
then straight down to the end.
1197
01:36:33,875 --> 01:36:37,835
Left, right, left.
Left, right, left.
1198
01:37:41,943 --> 01:37:44,336
Keep right back while
the train comes in,
all right?
1199
01:37:44,380 --> 01:37:46,948
Right,
make a nice,
neat pile, lads.
1200
01:37:49,080 --> 01:37:51,517
In here, come on.
1201
01:37:51,561 --> 01:37:53,780
Nice neat pile.
That's it. That's it.
1202
01:37:55,608 --> 01:37:57,741
You know interchangeable,
like, with each other.
1203
01:37:57,784 --> 01:38:00,875
Come on! Let's go.
It'll all be over.
1204
01:38:03,442 --> 01:38:05,401
You got your
bucket and spade, Sarge?
1205
01:38:05,444 --> 01:38:07,925
Hey, hey!
You just watch it, you.
1206
01:38:15,759 --> 01:38:17,630
He's right.
He's right. Listen.
1207
01:38:17,674 --> 01:38:19,415
Listen to Pongo.
Pongo knows.
1208
01:38:19,458 --> 01:38:23,201
They're like that.
Dovetails are like that.
1209
01:38:23,245 --> 01:38:25,203
No, look, that's a crevice joint.
1210
01:38:25,247 --> 01:38:26,770
Now, a crevice joint...
1211
01:38:26,813 --> 01:38:28,946
Stand right back.
1212
01:38:28,990 --> 01:38:30,556
Excuse me. Excuse me.
1213
01:38:30,600 --> 01:38:32,384
Stop pushing, sir!
1214
01:38:35,257 --> 01:38:39,087
I'd like to say goodbye to
her, you know, before we go.
1215
01:38:39,130 --> 01:38:41,611
Oh, here she is!
1216
01:38:41,654 --> 01:38:43,265
This is Margaret!
1217
01:38:47,269 --> 01:38:48,966
Go on, sir. Give her some stick, sir.
1218
01:38:49,010 --> 01:38:50,794
Go on! Go on! Go on!
1219
01:38:53,971 --> 01:38:55,320
One more, sir.
1220
01:38:55,364 --> 01:38:56,931
One more.
Come on, one more.
1221
01:38:58,628 --> 01:39:00,804
Do it again.
Do it again.
1222
01:39:06,114 --> 01:39:09,291
Right, men,
keep away from
the edge of the platform.
1223
01:39:55,511 --> 01:39:57,034
It's just like
going to the seaside.
1224
01:39:57,078 --> 01:39:58,905
This is the seaside, you fool.
1225
01:39:58,949 --> 01:40:00,733
You know what I mean.
1226
01:40:06,522 --> 01:40:08,611
Thank you very much.
That's very...
1227
01:40:14,443 --> 01:40:15,835
We're on our way.
1228
01:40:15,879 --> 01:40:18,012
Stop the train!
It's driving me
to death!
1229
01:40:25,715 --> 01:40:27,412
Next stop, war.
1230
01:40:27,456 --> 01:40:28,848
Get out of the way!
1231
01:40:28,892 --> 01:40:30,372
Let's have a look, then.
1232
01:41:32,347 --> 01:41:35,132
This is the BBC Home Service.
1233
01:41:35,176 --> 01:41:40,398
Here is the 7:00 a.m. news,
and this is Alvar Lidell
reading it.
1234
01:41:40,442 --> 01:41:43,140
The occupation of Spitsbergen
1235
01:41:43,184 --> 01:41:46,404
by a combined British
and Norwegian task force
1236
01:41:46,448 --> 01:41:51,975
is continuing to
meet stiff resistance
from superior German forces.
1237
01:41:52,018 --> 01:41:55,935
Heavy casualties are
reported on both sides.
1238
01:41:55,979 --> 01:41:58,503
In Oslo, the Nazi...
88756
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