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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,267 --> 00:00:01,211 Friends S01E16 The One With The Two Parts -1- (Celui qui devient papa -1-) (VO&VF+STFR&EN) 2 00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:10,509 This is unbelievable. It's been half an hour. 3 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:14,221 If this was a cartoon, you'd be looking like a ham right about now. 4 00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,348 There's the waitress. Excuse me, miss. 5 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,018 Hello, miss? - It's Phoebe. 6 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,937 Hi. - Hi. 7 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,647 Okay, will that be all? 8 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,817 Wait, wait. What are you doing here? 9 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,318 Yeah, um, I was over there... 10 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,196 ...then you said, "Excuse me, miss." So now I'm here. 11 00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:34,199 No, no. How come you're working here? 12 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:38,537 Right. Because it's close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute. 13 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,122 Can we start over? 14 00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:42,791 - Yeah. Okay, great. I'll be over here. - No, no, no, no. 15 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,969 I don't know whether he's testing me or just acting out... 16 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,806 ...but my monkey is out of control. 17 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:44,019 He keeps erasing the messages on my machine. 18 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,522 Supposedly by accident. 19 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,857 Oh, yeah, I've done that. 20 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:55,739 And three days in a row, he got to the newspaper before I did... 21 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,200 ...and peed all over the crossword. 22 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,828 I've never done that. 23 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:04,998 Now tell me she doesn't look exactly like her sister. 24 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,626 I'm saying I see a difference. 25 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,044 They're twins. 26 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:12,840 I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot. 27 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:17,177 You know that thing when we talk about things? 28 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,888 - Let's not do that anymore. - Okay. 29 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,099 Hey, guys. Hey. 30 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,560 Hey, Pheebs. Guess who we saw today. 31 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,395 Ooh. Oh, fun. Okay. 32 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,272 - Um, Liam Neeson. - No. 33 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:29,940 - Morley Safer. Nope. 34 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,817 - The woman who cuts my hair. No. 35 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,111 Look, this could be a really long game. 36 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:35,571 Your sister, Ursula. 37 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,239 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 38 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,199 She works at that place, uh... 39 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,534 Riff's. Yeah, I know. 40 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,537 Oh, you do? She said you guys haven't talked in years. 41 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,164 Hmm? Yeah. 42 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,918 So, um, is she fat? 43 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,298 Not from where I was standing. 44 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,300 Where were you standing? 45 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,222 Uh, Pheebs, so you guys just don't get along? 46 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,350 It's mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know? 47 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,770 Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one. 48 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,357 Oh. Oh. She was the first to walk... 49 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,485 ...even though I did it later that same day. 50 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,991 To my parents, by then it was, "Yeah, what else is new?" 51 00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:22,451 Oh. 52 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,621 Pheebs, I'm sorry. I've gotta go. I've got Lamaze class. 53 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:29,124 Oh, and I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym? 54 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,338 So is this just gonna be you and Carol? 55 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,256 No. Susan will be there too. 56 00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:40,802 We've got dads. We've got lesbians. The whole parenting team. 57 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,180 Well, isn't that gonna be weird? 58 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,515 No. It might have been at first... 59 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,310 ...but now I'm comfortable with the situation. 60 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,812 - Ross, that's my jacket. - I know. 61 00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:01,240 Hi. We're the Rostens. 62 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:04,201 I'm J.C. And he's Michael. 63 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,454 And we're having a boy and a girl. 64 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,832 Good for you. Alrighty, next? 65 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,503 Hi. Um, I'm, uh... Ahem. 66 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,088 I'm Ross Geller. 67 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,590 And, uh, that's my boy in there. 68 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:23,553 And, uh, this is Carol Willick, and this is Susan Bunch. 69 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,182 Susan is, um, Carol's... 70 00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:34,398 Who's next? 71 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,818 I'm sorry, Susan is? 72 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,195 - Susan is Carol's friend. - Life partner. 73 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,114 Like buddies. 74 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,324 Like lovers. 75 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,493 You know how close women can get. 76 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:50,289 - Susan and I live together. - I was married to her. 77 00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:53,208 - Carol. Not me. - It's a little complicated. 78 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,793 - But we're fine. - Absolutely. 79 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,171 So, twins. Ha. 80 00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,756 That's like two births. 81 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,511 Ouch. 82 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,017 [INTERCOM BUZZES] 83 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,561 - To you too, Helen. 84 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,939 Nina Bookbinder is here to see you. 85 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,191 Oh. Okay, send her in. 86 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:23,739 Hi. 87 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,199 - Hi, Nina. Come on in. - You wanted to see me? 88 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,077 Uh, yes. Uh, I was just going over your data. 89 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,747 You've been postdating your Friday numbers. 90 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,999 Which is bad, because? 91 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,084 - Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack. - Ha, ha. 92 00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,295 Excuse me? 93 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,213 WENUS. Ahem. 94 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,632 - Weekly Estimated... - Oh, Net Usage Statistics. 95 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,718 Right. Gotcha, gotcha. 96 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:48,847 Won't happen again. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your... 97 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,182 ...WENUS. 98 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:04,071 It's not just that she's cute, okay? It's just that... 99 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,573 ...she's really, really cute. 100 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:11,161 It doesn't matter. You don't dip your pen in the company ink. 101 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,123 Ross. 102 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,834 Your little creature's got the remote again. 103 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,671 Marcel. Marcel, give Rossy the remote. 104 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,174 Marcel. 105 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,678 Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now. 106 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,308 You give Rossy the remote... 107 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,437 - Great. - Relax. I'll fix it. 108 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:44,736 Oh, cool. Urkel in Spanish is Urkel. 109 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,907 How did he do this? 110 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,202 So tell me, is leaving the Christmas lights up... 111 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,996 ...part of your plan to keep us merry all year long? 112 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:58,417 No, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's... 113 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,419 ...but obviously someone forgot. 114 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:03,338 Well, someone was supposed to write: 115 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:07,467 "Rach, take down the lights," and put it on the refrigera... 116 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,638 How long has that been there? 117 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,224 Hey, where you been? 118 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:18,353 I went back to Riff's. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee. 119 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:22,274 She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries. 120 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,610 Score. 121 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,781 She is so hot. 122 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,534 Listen, okay, before you do anything Joey-like... 123 00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:35,036 ...you might want to run it by, uh... 124 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:37,831 - Yeah? - Yeah. 125 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,125 - Pheebs? - Yeah? 126 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,836 Would it be okay if I asked out your sister? 127 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,256 Why? Why would you want to do that? Why? 128 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:50,510 So that if we went out on a date, she'd be there. 129 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,894 Well, I mean, I'm not my sister's, you know... 130 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,271 ...whatever. And, um... 131 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,442 I mean, it's true, we were one egg once. 132 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:08,778 But, you know, we've grown apart, so, um... 133 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,739 I don't know. Why not? 134 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,365 Cool. Thanks. 135 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,245 You okay? 136 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,997 Yeah, I'm fine. 137 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,791 Do you wanna watch Laverne y Shirley? 138 00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:38,808 Sorry. 139 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,310 - Hi. - Hi. 140 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,812 Sorry I'm late. Uh, where's Carol? 141 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:46,233 Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. 142 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,110 You can go. I'll get the information. 143 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:54,533 No, no, ahem, I think I should stay. We should both know what's going on. 144 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:55,951 Oh, good. 145 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,619 This will be fun. 146 00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:02,332 Alrighty. We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises. 147 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,292 Mommies, get on your back. 148 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:08,421 And, coaches, you should be supporting Mommy's head. 149 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,388 - What? - What? 150 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,348 I'm supposed to be the mommy? 151 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,977 Okay, I'm gonna play my sperm card one more time. 152 00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:27,691 I don't see why I have to miss out on the coaching training because I'm a woman. 153 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,693 I see. So, what do you propose to do? 154 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:32,195 - I'll flip you for it. - Flip me for it? No, no, no. 155 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,947 Heads, heads, heads. 156 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,616 On your back, Mom. 157 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:44,708 All right, mommies, take a nice, deep, cleansing breath. 158 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,170 Good. 159 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,299 Now imagine your vagina is opening... 160 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,509 ...like a flower. 161 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,314 Mr. Dee. How's it going, sir? 162 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:08,815 Uh, it's been better. 163 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,901 The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in. 164 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,738 - And? - It's pretty ugly. 165 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:18,283 We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s. 166 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:23,204 - So, what does this mean? - We're gonna be laying off people. 167 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:27,417 Listen, I know I came in late last week. I slept funny and my hair was snarly. 168 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,918 Not you. 169 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,795 Relax. 170 00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:34,549 Ever have to fire anyone? 171 00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,135 Nina... 172 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:43,767 Nina. 173 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,686 Nina... 174 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,230 Are you okay? 175 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:51,816 Yes. Yes, I am. 176 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:57,697 Uh, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, uh... 177 00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,783 Please don't hate me. 178 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:01,451 What? 179 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,997 Would you like to have dinner sometime? 180 00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,755 So, Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday? 181 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:18,468 Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me. 182 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,390 Okay. 183 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,727 Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? 184 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:30,855 - Bath salts would be nice. - Oh, okay. Good. 185 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,116 What is this place? 186 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,035 Look, you're cold, I have to pee, and there's coffee. 187 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,079 How bad could it be? 188 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,373 I think we have an answer. 189 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,292 What's she doing here? 190 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,838 This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home. 191 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:59,384 - Think she got fired at Riff's? - No, we were there last night. 192 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:02,262 She kept bringing swordfish. Are you gonna go? 193 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,681 I'll wait until we order. It's her, right? 194 00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:06,641 It looks like her. 195 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,436 - Um, excuse me? - Yeah? 196 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,604 Hi, it's us. 197 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,569 Right. And it's me. 198 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,614 So you're here too? 199 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,825 As much as you are. 200 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:25,493 Your turn. 201 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,038 - We know what we want. - Oh, that's good. 202 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,834 - All we want is two caffe lattes. - And some biscotti cookies. 203 00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:34,669 Good choice. 204 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,508 - It's definitely her. - Yeah. 205 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,603 I can't believe you. 206 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,939 You still haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job yet? 207 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,651 Well, you still haven't taken down the Christmas lights. 208 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,364 Congratulations. I think you found the world's thinnest argument. 209 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,992 I'm just trying to find the right moment. 210 00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:09,287 Oh, well, that shouldn't be so hard, now that you're dating. 211 00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:15,043 "Sweetheart, you're fired. But how about a quickie before I go to work?" 212 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:19,798 - Hey. - Hey. 213 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,970 Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore. 214 00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:28,681 I'll get it. 215 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,895 Oh. Hi, Mr. Heckles. 216 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,522 You're doing it again. 217 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,232 We're not doing anything. 218 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,568 We're just sitting around talking quietly. 219 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,862 I can hear you through the ceiling. 220 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,825 My cats can't sleep. 221 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,245 You don't even have cats. 222 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,372 I could have cats. 223 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,124 Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. 224 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,877 We'll try to keep it down. 225 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:04,759 Phoebe, can you do me a favor? 226 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,011 Try this on to make sure it fits. 227 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:11,140 Oh, my first birthday present. Oh, this is really... 228 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:14,602 Oh, no, no. It's for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise. 229 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,898 Oh. Sure. Yeah. 230 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,483 Okay, it fits. 231 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,489 - Are you seeing her again tonight? - Yep, Ice Capades. 232 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,949 Wow, this is serious. 233 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:31,452 I've never known you to pay money for any kind of capade. 234 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,456 I don't know. I like her. 235 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:39,043 She's different. There's, uh, something about her... 236 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,546 That you like. We get it. You like her. Great. 237 00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:46,092 Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay. 238 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,219 Well, maybe now it's not okay. 239 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,804 Okay. 240 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:53,057 Well, maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay. 241 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,392 Okay. 242 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,316 Knit, good woman. Knit. Knit. 243 00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,287 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 244 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,456 And that's the Chrysler Building right there. 245 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:17,832 NINA: Oh. 246 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,877 - Nina. - Mr. Douglas. 247 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,420 Cool tie. 248 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:26,925 She's still here. 249 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,844 Yes. Yes, she is. 250 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,638 Didn't I memo you on this? 251 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:36,768 See, after I let her go, uh, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen... 252 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,561 ...Dr. Flanan, Dr. Flan. 253 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:44,025 And, uh, he informed me that she took the news rather badly. 254 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:46,986 In fact, he, uh, mentioned the word "frenzy." 255 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,280 You're kidding. She seems so... 256 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,949 Oh, no, no. Nina? She's: 257 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,495 In fact, if you asked her now... 258 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,623 ...she'd have no recollection of being fired at all. 259 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,084 That's unbelievable. 260 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,961 And yet believable. 261 00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:05,713 So I decided not to fire her again... 262 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:09,300 ...until I'm sure she will be of no threat to herself or others. 263 00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:14,472 I see. Hmm. You never really know what's going on inside a person's head. 264 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:18,643 Well, I guess that's why they call it psychology, sir. 265 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,482 The sound Mom and Dad will never forget. 266 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,944 For this, after all, is the miracle of birth. 267 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,487 Lights, please. 268 00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,197 And that's having a baby. 269 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,658 Next week is our final class. 270 00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,786 Susan, go deep. 271 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,085 CAROL: It's impossible. It's just impossible. 272 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,378 What is, honey? 273 00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:47,463 What that woman... 274 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:48,715 ...did. 275 00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,427 I am not doing that. Heh. 276 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,805 It'll have to stay in, that's all. Everything will be the same. 277 00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:59,058 - It'll just stay in. Ha, ha. - Carol, honey. Shh. 278 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,936 - Everything will be all right. - What do you know? 279 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,981 No one's saying to you, "Hi, is that your nostril? 280 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,734 Mind if we push this pot roast through it?" 281 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,570 Carol, sweetie. 282 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,238 Cleansing breath. 283 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,659 I know it's frightening. But big picture: 284 00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:19,287 The birth part is just one day... 285 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:23,875 ...and when it's over, we'll all be parents for the rest of our lives. 286 00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:27,045 I mean, that's what this is all about, right? 287 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,337 Ross? 288 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,506 Ross. 289 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,259 I'm gonna be a father. 290 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:37,722 - This is just occurring to you? - I always knew I was having a baby. 291 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:41,225 I just never realized the baby was having me. 292 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,561 Oh, you're gonna be great. 293 00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,188 How could you say that? 294 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,524 I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bathmat. 295 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,610 How will I raise a kid? 296 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,362 You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying... 297 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:56,657 ...that monkeys and babies are actually different. 298 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,245 - Where are you going? - Out. 299 00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:02,914 With? 300 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:04,373 Yes. 301 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,793 All right, can I just ask you one question? 302 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:11,255 Have you two, you know, like, you know? 303 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:13,966 You know? 304 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:15,968 Yet? 305 00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,805 Well, not that it's any of your business... 306 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,765 ...but no, we haven't, okay? 307 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,564 You meant sex, right? 308 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,867 - Do you have a sec? - Uh, sure, Nina. What's up? 309 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:43,663 I don't know. For the past couple days, people have been avoiding me... 310 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:45,832 ...and giving me these really strange looks. 311 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,960 Oh, well, uh, maybe that's because... 312 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,255 ...they're, uh, jealous of us. 313 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:53,965 Maybe. 314 00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:57,343 But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors. 315 00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:02,098 Uh, well, maybe that's, uh, because you're getting a big raise. 316 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,560 - I am? - Sure. Why not? 317 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,813 Oh, my God. You're amazing. 318 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,315 Oh, you don't know. 319 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:15,611 Helen, make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise. 320 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,907 Still want her psychological profile sent to personnel? 321 00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:22,994 - What? - Helen drinks. 322 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,496 Will you marry me? 323 00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:34,922 - Well, I ended up telling her everything. - Ooh. How'd she take it? 324 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,217 Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. 325 00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:41,721 Little tip. If you're ever in a similar situation... 326 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:44,682 ...never, ever leave your hand on the desk. 327 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,853 Okay, I think I get how to do this. 328 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,522 [SPEAKING IN SPANISH] 329 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,777 Can we turn this off? Can we make them go away? 330 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,863 Because I can't watch. 331 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,948 - Okay, Pheebs, they're gone. - Okay. 332 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,409 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 333 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:07,538 It's just, you know, this whole stupid Ursula thing. 334 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,332 Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? 335 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,835 So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible? 336 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,420 Um, yeah. 337 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:19,342 I mean, I'm not saying she's evil or anything. 338 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,428 She's just, you know, always breaking my stuff. 339 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,641 When I was 8, I wouldn't let her have my Judy Jetson Thermos... 340 00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:28,893 ...so she threw it under the bus. 341 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,604 And then there's Randy Brown... 342 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,272 ...who was like... 343 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:36,651 Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend? 344 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:38,861 - No. - No. 345 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,907 Well, but that's what he was for me. 346 00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:45,618 And she, you know, kind of stole him away... 347 00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:48,704 ...and then broke his heart. 348 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,166 And then he wouldn't even talk to me anymore. 349 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:56,671 He didn't want to be around anything that looked like either one of us. 350 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,174 Oh, Pheebs. 351 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:04,762 I mean, I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my Thermos... 352 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,265 ...or anything, but... 353 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,268 - You won't lose him. - You gotta talk to Joey. 354 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:11,811 Yeah, okay. 355 00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:15,147 Come on. He doesn't know this stuff. If he knew how you felt... 356 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:16,983 He's falling in love with her. 357 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:19,193 Oh, please. They've been going out a week. 358 00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:23,739 They haven't even slept together yet. I mean, that's not serious. 359 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,244 Okay. 360 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,706 Oh. Okay. Oh. 361 00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:48,973 Oh. 362 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,727 Yeah, um, may we help you? 363 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:10,786 Rachel, what are you doing? It's freezing. Would you come inside? 364 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:12,830 No, no, no. 365 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,750 You wanted me to take them down... 366 00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,544 ...so I'm taking them down, okay? 367 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:23,257 Rachel! 368 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,551 I'm okay. I'm okay. 369 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:27,928 Mr. Heckles? 370 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:31,599 Mr. Heckles, could you help me, please? 371 00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:35,978 See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about. 27512

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