Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,713
(man coughs, sniffles)
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00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,915
(pages shuffling)
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LAWYER: Please state
your name for the record.
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00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,653
-Stan Marsh.
-(page turns)
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00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,556
LAWYER: And, uh, Mr. Marsh,
you were involved
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00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,858
in the streaming wars,
is that correct?
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00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,829
We made stuff for
streaming services, yes.
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00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:32,333
And how do you know
the defendant in this case?
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00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:36,170
She's the mother
of my f-- acquaintance.
12
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,207
When you made your deals
for streaming services,
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00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:43,043
you sort of leveraged them
against each other, didn't you?
14
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,213
That is correct.
15
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,047
And now the streaming bubble
has burst
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00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:50,718
and your own father is
in hiding, isn't that correct?
17
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:52,886
My dad is missing,
that is correct.
18
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:55,823
What exactly was your job
in making these
19
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,659
little Popsicle stick boats
for streaming services?
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00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:02,263
Um, my job
was to eat the Popsicles.
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00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:05,499
And the people who paid you
didn't care what you made?
22
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,535
Well, if you look at it,
only about a fourth of what's on
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00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,203
most streaming services
is really worth a shit,
24
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:10,571
so-- Oh, sorry.
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00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,940
Do you know
what an exclusive deal is?
26
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,143
Yes, I know what
an exclusive deal is.
27
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:18,179
So, if you make an exclusive
deal with a streaming service,
28
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,780
you can't make an exclusive deal
29
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,549
with another streaming service,
can you?
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00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,484
It's not our fault that
the streaming wars happened!
31
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,419
So, then why not
just give back the money?
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00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,255
-We can't!
-Why not?!
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00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:30,224
'Cause the money is all
in Cartman's fucking tits!
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00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:31,425
(gallery gasping)
35
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,295
-* *
-(gavel banging)
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00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,798
CARTMAN: Ms. Cartman, you
and your son live in a hot dog,
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00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:38,932
is that correct?
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00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,169
Yes, Eric,
you know that's correct.
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00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:42,670
And your son wanted you
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00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,138
to get fake tits
so that the rich guy
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00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,639
across the street would
let you live with him
42
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,241
but you refused, is that right?
43
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,942
That's right.
44
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,445
So when I said, "If you
don't get fake tits I will,"
45
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:52,946
you just told me to go ahead.
46
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:56,350
Yes, because I'm sick of
you doing extreme things
47
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,685
to get your way.
48
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,787
So you refused even though tons
49
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,555
of women get fake breasts
all the time.
50
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,457
Your Honor, I'd like
to introduce Exhibit D--
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00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,626
tons of women with fake tits.
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00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:11,098
Tom, I'm standing outside
the courthouse where the judge
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00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,635
has just thrown out
the Cartman v. Cartman case.
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00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,605
The judge said, quote, "You're
all a bunch of shitheads.
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00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,173
Get out of my courtroom."
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00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:20,808
Just proof once again, Tom,
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00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:24,712
that streaming services
have made everything suck.
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00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:29,517
("You Don't Miss Your Water"
by Otis Redding playing)
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00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:37,725
* In the beginning *
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00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:42,463
* You really loved me, oh *
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00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:48,502
* I was too blind *
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00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:52,440
* I could not see, now *
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00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:56,644
* But now that you left me *
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00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:03,384
* Oh, how I cried,
I keep crying *
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00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:07,020
* You don't miss your water *
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00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:11,325
* Till your well runs dry *
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00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:15,062
'Kay, Mom, well, I hope
you learned your lesson.
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00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,864
So, maybe now,
will you get fake tits
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00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,899
so I can get
these stupid things out?
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00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,235
No, Eric! No!
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00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,705
* I never thought, no *
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00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,274
Can I get a Frosty?
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00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:31,044
* I never thought
you'd ever leave me *
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00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:37,418
* But now that you've left me *
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00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:42,923
* Good Lord, good Lord,
how I cried *
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00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,626
* You don't miss
your water *
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00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,861
* You don't
miss your water *
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00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:51,899
* Till your well runs dry *
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00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:55,669
* Ooh, you don't
miss your water *
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00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:58,005
* You don't miss your water *
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00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:02,209
* Till your well runs dry *
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00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:06,547
* I miss my water,
I keep missing my water... *
83
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,849
-Oh, shit, it's Karen!
-What?
84
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,451
(others gasping, murmuring)
85
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,753
Come on. Go, kids, go.
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00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:20,227
What... what happened?
87
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:25,165
-Wow, it's the real thing.
-We gotta go!
88
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,569
(siren whoops)
89
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:33,307
There! You see?
Karen is right there!
90
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,777
Okay, okay, everyone back--
just stay back!
91
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:40,147
All right, Karen.
We don't want any trouble.
92
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,149
Huh?
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00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:46,053
It doesn't have to be like this,
Karen. Let us get you some help.
94
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:49,823
Can-can someone
please tell me what's going on?
95
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,992
Is there, like, a manager
I can speak to somew...
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00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:55,529
(grunts, stammers, exhales)
97
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,398
Karen's clear!
98
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,932
Move in!
99
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,103
(monitor beeping steadily)
100
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,775
* *
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00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,647
HARRIS:
Just relax.
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00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,817
I need to know
what you remember, Karen.
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00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,987
I started a streaming service...
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00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:23,190
to compete with
the weed farm across the street.
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00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:24,792
And some guy died.
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00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,394
That's right.
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00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:29,997
Do you know where the owner of
Credigree Weed is now?
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00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,198
No.
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00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,501
The steaming wars got
out of hand.
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00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,102
Your rival here somehow got
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00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:38,038
ManBearPig to work for him
and murder the competition.
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00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:42,510
You... went down to the Colorado
State Water Commission's office.
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00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,578
You asked to speak
with the manager.
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00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,914
And then you went full
nuclear Karen.
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00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,850
Full nuclear Karen?
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00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,986
HARRIS:
You went ballistic on everybody.
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00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:56,089
-MAN: Okay...
-Call the cops, goddamn it,
if you don't like me over here.
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00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,658
-Fucking call 'em!
-MAN: Okay. Karen.
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00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,059
Motherfucker!
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00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,928
-Go back to Mexico.
-WOMAN: Listen. I said--
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00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,162
I said "excuse me."
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00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:04,164
Go. Go back wherever
you're from!
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00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,400
HARRIS: You traveled all over
the state and demanded to
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00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,301
-see everyone's managers.
-He's the one-- he's the one
that went off.
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00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,203
Oh, God...
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00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,705
-I don't have a right
to be here?!
-Outside the State office
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00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,507
in Denver, you caused
a 20-car pileup.
128
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,676
-Huh?! Call a manager now!
-Five people were
severely injured.
129
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,746
And then
you attacked the airport.
130
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:22,783
I want the manager of
the fucking airport here!
131
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,185
Who's tellin' me to...
(shrieking)
132
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:28,121
I want the manager
of the airport here!
133
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,058
And then the same thing
happened in Madrid.
134
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:34,928
Who is the manager of
this fucking shithole?!
135
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,630
-HARRIS: In Bangladesh...
-(no audio)
136
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,899
And in the mountains of Tibet.
137
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,168
And I'm sorry, Karen, but...
138
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,704
I'm afraid all of this
has become
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00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,540
the most watched videos
on YouTube.
140
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,141
No.
141
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,344
* *
142
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,196
* *
143
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,174
* *
144
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,426
* *
145
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,468
* *
146
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:07,888
Tolkien...
147
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,023
What are you doing here?
148
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,292
I'm looking for something,
all right?
149
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:14,862
-Looking for what?
-Anything.
150
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,931
I don't know! People are saying
that my dad caused all this.
151
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,833
That he's hiding
because he knows he's guilty.
152
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,535
I know that's not true.
153
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,937
What does that have to do
with the rich guy
154
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,472
who lived here moving away?
155
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,476
The guy who lived here
didn't move away. He was killed.
156
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,546
What?
157
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,915
I know that my dad wouldn't
just run and hide!
158
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,617
What if he needs me right now?
159
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:40,420
Tolkien, I wanted the guy
who lived here to be my dad.
160
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,956
Who would have killed him?
161
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,427
* *
162
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,268
(slurping)
163
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,073
Okay, I'm done.
164
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,709
All right,
then put your plate in the sink
165
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,310
and march right on upstairs!
166
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,679
Maybe the next time you
decide to pit streaming services
167
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,248
against each other and cause
a drought, you'll think twice.
168
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:11,919
I want no playing, no reading
and no thinking about fun stuff.
169
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,821
You are being grounded.
170
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,090
It's not my fault streaming
services paid people more
171
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,860
than was sustainable
in any business model.
172
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,061
-Butters.
-(yells)
173
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,462
Shh! Butters, stop.
174
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,598
Eric! You can't be in here,
I'm grounded.
175
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:25,933
We've been set up, Butters.
176
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,635
-What?
-The whole streaming wars!
177
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:28,802
The whole thing was a lie!
178
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,303
Eric, is that a real gun?
179
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,139
Fuck yes, it's a real gun.
Butters, listen to me.
180
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,041
Someone bought up all the water
181
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,776
and murdered anyone
who got in their way.
182
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,577
-No...
-Yes, Butters.
183
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,613
Someone worked with
the Colorado water commissioner
184
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,514
and cheated the system.
The same person
185
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,817
who is now using climate change
to make a profit!
186
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,218
Who?
187
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,920
It didn't make sense to me.
188
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,856
Why my mom
was being so stubborn.
189
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,490
Why she wouldn't
do what I asked.
190
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,592
But then I saw
Tolkien across the street
191
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:54,561
and I figured it out...
192
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,830
Tolkien is fucking my mom.
193
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,866
Tolkien?!
194
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,400
I wanted my mom to get fake tits
195
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,335
so she could marry
the rich guy across the street.
196
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,571
Now that guy is dead
and my mom is acting strange.
197
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,840
The only explanation is
that she's fucking Tolkien
198
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,375
and they don't want me to know!
199
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,543
But, Eric, Tolkien was making
the boats with us, he...
200
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,612
Butters, Butters.
My eyes are up here.
201
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:13,814
Stop staring at my tits.
202
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,215
Oh, sorry.
203
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,650
There's a bad guy
out there getting away
204
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:20,020
with murder, Butters.
And we have to catch him.
205
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:23,523
* *
206
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,525
Good people of Denver,
207
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,061
we are living
through a horrible time.
208
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,765
This drought,
i-it affect everybody.
209
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,634
It affect me. My waterpark.
210
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:40,908
But I have a plan to
not only reopen my waterpark,
211
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:45,445
but also help all of Colorado
with their water supply problem.
212
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:50,283
So, if you don't mind,
I'd like to show you my deck.
213
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:53,320
-(grumbling)
-Oh, Christ.
-No.
214
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,923
This is the business
proposal deck
215
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,625
for the Pipi streaming service!
216
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,260
-Oh...
-Oh, that's okay.
217
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,131
In just a few days
I will reopen my waterpark
218
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:08,535
which will now run on 100% pee!
219
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:13,106
And then we can collect
half of the pee every day
220
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,743
and send it out to
the people of Denver
221
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:19,279
and all over Colorado
for their daily use.
222
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,349
I'm sorry, Mr. Pipi,
223
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,985
but I really don't think we'll
be able to get people to invest
224
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,954
in your streaming service.
225
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,621
No, no, no, it's okay!
226
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:32,192
Because I got
the biggest celebrities
227
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,227
who made a commerci for crypto
228
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,130
to make the commerci for me!
229
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:41,401
We are living
in a severe drought.
230
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,670
There simply
isn't a choice anymore,
231
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:46,573
we have to find
alternate sources for water.
232
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,076
Hi. I'm Matt Damon.
233
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,610
You've heard me talk
about the wonders of
234
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,113
cryptocurrency,
and now there's a company
235
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,682
who can give us that new source.
236
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,184
Pipi water.
237
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,753
Pee can be used
for almost anything.
238
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,288
We can water our lawns with it.
239
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,491
We can also use urine
for our shower water.
240
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,093
(groaning)
241
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,828
Fortune favors the brave.
242
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,262
And a brave person knows
243
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,465
that pasta cooked
in pee water tastes just fine.
244
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,670
(gagging)
245
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,439
Okay, hold on.
246
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,474
(gagging)
247
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,043
(quickly):
Fortune favors the brave.
248
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,711
(coughs, gags)
249
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:28,715
Did you know frozen pee can make
for a delicious summer treat?
250
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,086
(gagging)
251
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,554
Okay.
252
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:37,124
(gagging)
253
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,491
Fortune favors the brave.
254
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,928
And pee water
actually pairs really well
255
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:42,695
with an Impossible Burger.
256
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:48,468
(gagging)
257
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:51,004
(croaking):
Fortune...
258
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,639
(quietly):
Fortune favors the brave.
259
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:54,975
(gagging)
260
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,476
Fortune favors the br-- (gags)
261
00:12:58,678 --> 00:12:59,980
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Go pee!
262
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,315
With Pipi+.
263
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,184
MATT DAMON (over video):
...for water.
264
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,953
-Hi. I'm Matt Damon.
-Dad?
265
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,655
You've heard me talk about
the wonders of cryptocurrency,
266
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:12,259
and now there's a company
who can give us that new source.
267
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,927
Pipi water.
268
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,863
-You okay?
-Pee can be used
for almost anything.
269
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,231
-What have I become, Stan?
-We can water our lawns with it.
270
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,267
-How did I just sit by
and let the world sink to this?
-We can also use urine
271
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,202
for our shower water.
272
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,704
(breathing heavily)
273
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,106
(groaning softly)
274
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,774
(gags)
275
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:34,814
I used to be a scientist.
Do you remember that?
276
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,919
I was the one who warned
the town about a volcano.
277
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:42,555
I warned them about
the day after tomorrow.
278
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:47,327
And then...
it all become about weed.
279
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,263
When did that happen, Stan?
280
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,765
I guess we all
just got greedy, Dad.
281
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,202
I wanted to be
a scientist because
282
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,905
scientists solve problems.
283
00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:01,008
Do you even know what
kind of geologist I was, Stan?
284
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:02,309
No.
285
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,545
I was a
"fluvial geomorphologist."
286
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:10,017
Someone who studies the changes
in streams and rivers.
287
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,685
And when the town
needed me most...
288
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,488
I was just out bitching
because all I cared about
289
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,557
was getting high and rich.
290
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,627
I can't even
remember the old me.
291
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,630
* *
292
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:28,035
* There was a boy
I used to know *
293
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,770
* With dreams as big
as the fire in his heart *
294
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:34,007
* He grew to be a man
of such good will *
295
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,175
* Always so patient *
296
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,709
* Always so smart *
297
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,579
* He had so much
but he threw it away *
298
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,682
* Somewhere along
he got off track *
299
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,918
* But today he's making
the change for good *
300
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:48,688
* And now that man
is coming back *
301
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:51,224
* Oh, we missed you, Randy *
302
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:55,295
* Where have you been? *
303
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,763
* It seems such a long time *
304
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:59,466
* Since we've seen
our old friend *
305
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,469
* Everyone needs you, Randy *
306
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,705
* Where did you go? *
307
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,175
* It's like you just became
a one-note *
308
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,378
* Overwrought part of the show *
309
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:15,282
* Here I am
trying to make it right *
310
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:19,819
* Gonna take my life back
with my baby tonight *
311
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,055
* Oh, we missed you, Randy,
we missed you, Randy *
312
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,290
* Where have you been? *
313
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,458
* I've been acting like a fool *
314
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,460
* It seems such a long time *
315
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,630
* Since we've seen you,
old friend *
316
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,666
* We've all been
waiting for this day to come *
317
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,303
* We're all so happy about
the things you've done *
318
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,538
* 'Cause you're going
back to Randy *
319
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:39,639
* I'm going back to Randy *
320
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,241
* We missed you, Randy *
321
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,110
* I missed me, Randy *
322
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,145
* It's so good
to have you back now *
323
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,714
-* Our dear friend *
-* We missed you, Randy *
324
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,583
* Our dear friend, Randy *
325
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,919
-* I'm Randy *
-* Randy *
326
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,355
-* Randy, Randy *
-* I'm Randy. *
327
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,464
CARTMAN: All right,
I've got eyes on him.
328
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,799
Looks like he's in
the basement bathroom.
329
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,402
BUTTERS: I didn't even know
Tolkien had a basement bathroom.
330
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,538
CARTMAN: Yeah, neither
did I. Sneaky bastard.
331
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,373
Seems like he's
looking for something.
332
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,975
Oh, nope,
he's turning back around.
333
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,744
He's pulling down his pants.
334
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,646
Oh, I think
he's gonna take a shit.
335
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,715
Mark down: "8:35,
started taking shit."
336
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,257
What the fuck are you doing?
337
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:33,460
-Oh, shit. Go, go, go.
-(Butters yelling)
338
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,495
-* *
-(zipper closes)
339
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,965
Hello?! Where are-- Eric,
I can see you!
340
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,301
CARTMAN (whispering):
There's no way he can see us.
341
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,802
Just stay still.
342
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:45,672
I see you
behind the fucking tree!
343
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:49,042
Don't come another step closer
or I shoot Butters.
344
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,210
What?!
345
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,944
Let's go. Move. Move!
346
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,348
Do you wanna tell me
what's going on, Tolkien?
347
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,550
-I have no idea!
-Sure!
348
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,286
We're all supposed to
believe that streaming services
349
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:00,653
were all our fault.
350
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,089
I remember that day
at school, Tolkien.
351
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,191
You were the one who said
I should build the boats.
352
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,858
Because I felt bad for you!
353
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,360
You felt bad for me?
354
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,262
Or maybe is it that you wanted
the drought to-- Butters,
355
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,064
will you please
stop staring at my tits.
356
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,865
I'm sorry.
357
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,667
We've been
doing research, Tolkien.
358
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,403
Somebody manipulated the system.
359
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,271
All the water rights,
water laws,
360
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,706
there's a big
chain of corruption
361
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:20,973
and the whole thing
stinks like your wiener
362
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,775
after fucking my mom.
363
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,878
Eric, I swear, I have no clue
what you're talking about.
364
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,046
Then read it.
365
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,551
Read about how none of
the streaming services had any
366
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,320
chance of lasting but paid
out thousands of dollars anyway.
367
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,788
Read about how the water
commissioner of Colorado
368
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,557
knew about it the entire time!
369
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,759
Eric, where did you get this?
370
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,528
Tolkien, my eyes are up here,
371
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,230
please stop
staring at my titties.
372
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,031
I am staring you
dead in the eye.
373
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,766
Where did you get this?
374
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,000
* *
375
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,969
Hi. I'm Gwyneth Paltrow.
376
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,106
I got women everywhere excited
about investing in crypto.
377
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:56,609
And now there's something
even better to invest in.
378
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:02,415
Uh... uh... um...
379
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,985
Fortune favors the brave.
Fortune favors the brave.
380
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,655
(slurps, gags)
381
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,292
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Go pee!
382
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,494
With Pipi+.
383
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,566
My fellow Coloradoans,
384
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:21,534
today we will try to put an end
385
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,836
to the drought
that has crippled our state.
386
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,607
It's my pleasure to announce
that the city of Denver
387
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:31,578
will be investing heavily
in the Pipi streaming service.
388
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:35,114
And we encourage
you all to "Go pee."
389
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,320
Oh, thank you!
Thank you, Denver!
390
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:45,292
It is a my honor to give you
all of the pee that I can.
391
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:49,562
And so, as of today,
we are all going
392
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,064
-to live in...
-RANDY (distant): Wait!
393
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,235
Hold on!
394
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,804
-Who is that?
-Excuse me!
395
00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,707
Please, I have to get
to the front!
396
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,842
I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
everyone, please.
397
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,344
-Please, I have an announcement.
-(feedback screeches)
398
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:08,215
Everyone, my name is
Dr. Randy Marsh
399
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,049
and I am...
400
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,485
-a scientist!
-(feedback screeches)
401
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:16,523
The damage that has
been done to our fresh water
402
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:20,260
due to the streaming wars
is irreversible, yes.
403
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,762
But I believe I have a plan.
404
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,631
And if you don't mind,
405
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:28,034
I'd like to show my deck
to each and every one of you.
406
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,137
Whip it out, bro!
407
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,673
The answer...
408
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:37,109
is an ocean water
desalinization plant.
409
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,912
When all of you hear
about droughts in our country,
410
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,350
don't you ever think,
"Wait, the Earth is 75% water.
411
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:46,419
What the fuck? How can we
not have enough water, right?"
412
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,687
(all murmuring in agreement)
413
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,389
The only thing
stopping us from not
414
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:53,192
being able to use seawater
for our daily use is the salt.
415
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,562
I have a plan to pipe the water
416
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,530
from the oceans up to
the Continental Divide.
417
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,999
From there, we separate
the salt from the water,
418
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:04,437
giving our entire country
enough clean water forever.
419
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:09,476
And we ship the salt off to
Arby's and KFC where it belongs.
420
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,745
(cheering and whooping)
421
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:16,683
Dr. Marsh, you have
all the funding you need.
422
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:19,419
Randy Marsh has the better deck!
423
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,588
(cheering loudly)
424
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,560
* *
425
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,061
* She's only 17... *
426
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,399
PIPI:
Ever since I can remember,
427
00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:34,634
I've wanted two things.
428
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,004
My own waterpark
and to only have to pay
429
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:42,842
for one streaming service.
And what I didn't know...
430
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,512
was that my own employees
431
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:48,080
would try to fuck me!
432
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:51,083
And fucking ruin my life!
433
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:54,821
Who is this guy talking
about a desalinization plant?!
434
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,023
How did we miss him?!
435
00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,126
He's just some scientist,
h-he came out of nowhere.
436
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:04,531
I asked you to take care of
anybody who might get in my way!
437
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,566
I just wanna be a lifeguard.
438
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:08,468
"I just wanna be a lifeguard."
439
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,903
You just wanna fuck Pipi!
440
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,773
You're all a bunch
of stinky poopy babies!
441
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:17,410
All of you!
You little pussy bitches!
442
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:18,778
(roars)
443
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:20,513
Oh, you don't like that, huh?
444
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,615
I told you,
I told you kill anyone
445
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,250
in the mountains
who could be a problem!
446
00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:27,987
You a little ManBear-bitch,
that's what you are!
447
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,489
(roaring)
448
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,591
You wanna fuck with Pipi, huh?
449
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,460
Don't forget what I have on you.
450
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,261
Sit down, ManBearBitchy!
451
00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:37,697
(groans)
452
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,800
I want that
desalinization plant gone
453
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,936
and I want the scientist dead!
454
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,773
There can only be
one streaming service.
455
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:50,042
And it's going to be Pipi+!
456
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:58,751
* *
457
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:01,354
HARRIS:
It was 8:15 on Thursday night.
458
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:03,890
The people were all excited
about the possibility
459
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,958
of a new desalinization plant.
460
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:09,228
But I had a lingering
uneasiness in my gut.
461
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:12,164
And then, just like that,
in walked the nicest pair
462
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:15,802
of knockers
I'd ever seen in my life.
463
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:21,408
Detective,
we need to talk to you.
464
00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:23,309
Aw, fuck, not you again.
465
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,578
Get out of here kid, I'm not
going to arrest your mom.
466
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,047
You might think differently when
you hear what we have to say.
467
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:30,149
-Go ahead, Tolkien.
-Sir,
468
00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:32,051
we think the person
who killed Robert Cussler
469
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:35,221
actually had a bigger plan:
to make the drought happen.
470
00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:38,157
Your father
killed Robert Cussler.
471
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:40,493
And what makes you think
he had a bigger plan?
472
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:43,863
Wait a minute. Did he
tell you his business plan?
473
00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:45,998
Did he show you his deck?!
474
00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:47,199
No.
475
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:49,368
My uncle Larry
showed me his dick once.
476
00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:51,971
My dad isn't capable
of killing anyone.
477
00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:53,540
Well, I'm sure that's true.
478
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,376
And that's why your father had
ManBearPig do it for him.
479
00:22:57,477 --> 00:23:00,346
You see, your dad
used ManBearPig to get rid
480
00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:03,149
of the competition
in the streaming wars.
481
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:04,484
Butters, please.
482
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:06,819
And ManBearPig
will just go right on doing
483
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:09,922
whatever Tolkien's father
says because he's afraid.
484
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:13,125
ManBearPig is afraid? Of what?
485
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:18,531
Afraid for the safety...
of its wife and child.
486
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:23,536
Not many people know about
PigBearGirl and Chuck Chuck,
487
00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:26,205
but your father
must have threatened ManBearPig
488
00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:28,340
that he would tell
people they exist.
489
00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:32,211
And if everyone knew
that climate change had a child,
490
00:23:32,311 --> 00:23:33,980
they'd go after it.
491
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,616
Okay, whatever,
but you have no proof
492
00:23:36,716 --> 00:23:38,317
that it was my dad
who did anything.
493
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,086
Don't I?
494
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,556
I happen to know
for a fact that while the rest
495
00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,257
of the state is suffering,
496
00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:47,026
your dad has been
out living it up.
497
00:23:47,126 --> 00:23:48,861
Surveillance camera
caught him enjoying
498
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,897
his time at a waterpark.
499
00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:56,302
The waterpark.
500
00:23:57,470 --> 00:23:58,738
* *
501
00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:00,740
Hello, I'm Larry David.
502
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,775
When I made my Superbowl
commercial for crypto,
503
00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:04,877
I didn't even really know
what it was!
504
00:24:04,977 --> 00:24:06,946
But thanks to the money I made,
I now can enjoy
505
00:24:07,046 --> 00:24:09,716
my favorite beverage every day!
506
00:24:11,250 --> 00:24:13,185
(gurgling)
507
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,287
(gagging)
508
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,591
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Go pee!
509
00:24:18,691 --> 00:24:20,459
With Pipi+.
510
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:25,097
(water drips echoing)
511
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:28,400
(gasps loudly)
512
00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:30,336
(gasping)
513
00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:37,510
(grunts)
514
00:24:40,947 --> 00:24:42,882
(echoing):
Hello?
515
00:24:43,716 --> 00:24:45,852
Where the fuck am I?
516
00:24:46,753 --> 00:24:48,254
(grunting)
517
00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:55,461
Hello?!
518
00:25:03,603 --> 00:25:07,339
PIPI: Well, I don't know, but
it needs to be a-fixed, okay?
519
00:25:07,439 --> 00:25:09,976
Maybe we have some
kind of intruder, huh,
520
00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:12,311
that's doing the sabotage,
you know!
521
00:25:12,411 --> 00:25:13,846
GUARD:
We looked everywhere, sir.
522
00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:15,381
We didn't find anything.
523
00:25:15,481 --> 00:25:17,684
PIPI: Well, look harder,
you stupid fuck!
524
00:25:17,784 --> 00:25:20,086
Something going on down here!
525
00:25:22,254 --> 00:25:23,790
(snarling)
526
00:25:24,557 --> 00:25:26,959
(squealing)
527
00:25:30,963 --> 00:25:33,833
(low growling)
528
00:25:33,933 --> 00:25:37,269
Who are you?
Did you bandage me up?
529
00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:40,372
Chuck Chuck!
530
00:25:42,108 --> 00:25:43,175
GUARD:
Come on! Something's happened
531
00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:45,011
to the outtake valves again!
532
00:25:45,778 --> 00:25:47,446
(shushing)
533
00:25:49,616 --> 00:25:51,417
(indistinct chatter)
534
00:25:51,517 --> 00:25:54,120
(tools clacking)
535
00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:57,857
Okay, that's great, guys.
536
00:25:57,957 --> 00:26:00,126
Keep the pipe
on the downward slope.
537
00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:02,862
-How's it all going?
-Oh, thanks, honey.
538
00:26:02,962 --> 00:26:04,496
It's good. Fast.
539
00:26:04,597 --> 00:26:06,298
I think we can have this thing
up and running
540
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:08,868
-for tests in a week.
-That's amazing.
541
00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:11,303
You're not
so bad yourself, babe.
542
00:26:13,005 --> 00:26:14,674
Oh, and hey, Sharon?
543
00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:18,010
Sorry about
the whole "weed thing."
544
00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:20,346
It's okay, Randy.
545
00:26:23,215 --> 00:26:25,117
All right, Nelson,
I've updated the engineering.
546
00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:26,919
I've accounted for the elevation
547
00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:29,155
but I still can't
figure out the pipeline.
548
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,624
The problem is actually
getting enough pressure
549
00:26:31,724 --> 00:26:34,193
to get the saltwater
up here to the plant.
550
00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:36,262
It almost seems impossible.
551
00:26:36,362 --> 00:26:37,730
I don't know how you
get saltwater
552
00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:39,999
up here without
a tremendous amount of energy.
553
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:41,600
Yeah, well, let's just
keep working.
554
00:26:41,701 --> 00:26:43,069
There has to be an answer.
555
00:26:43,169 --> 00:26:45,337
Science always has an answer.
556
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,974
Randy, it's good
to have you back
557
00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:49,842
at the U.S. Geological Survey.
558
00:26:49,942 --> 00:26:51,343
Thanks, Nelson.
559
00:26:52,544 --> 00:26:53,545
Oh, and hey, Nelson?
560
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,816
Sorry about the whole
"weed thing."
561
00:26:56,916 --> 00:26:58,918
That's okay, Randy.
562
00:27:00,086 --> 00:27:01,921
(machinery clacking)
563
00:27:04,023 --> 00:27:05,858
* *
564
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,027
Hi, my name is Naomi Osaka.
565
00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:10,830
And I enjoy crypto
just like I enjoy
566
00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:13,666
fresh piss on my organic greens.
567
00:27:17,737 --> 00:27:19,305
Fortune favors the brave.
568
00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:22,074
-Fortune favors the brave.
-Fortune favors the brave.
569
00:27:22,174 --> 00:27:24,243
Fortune favors the brave.
570
00:27:24,343 --> 00:27:26,512
(gagging)
571
00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:29,916
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Go pee!
572
00:27:30,016 --> 00:27:31,450
With Pipi+.
573
00:27:32,218 --> 00:27:36,155
* She's a summertime girl *
574
00:27:38,024 --> 00:27:40,159
ANNOUNCER (over P.A.):
Welcome to Pipi's Waterpark!
575
00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:43,662
Where the thrills and fun
are all 100% urine.
576
00:27:43,763 --> 00:27:46,565
We hope you have a magical day
and if you need to
577
00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:50,402
use the restroom, just let
it go in one of our many pools.
578
00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:52,438
Your pee will be
collected and harvested
579
00:27:52,538 --> 00:27:55,808
for Denver's water supply.
Go pee, Colorado.
580
00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:57,143
* She'll take you... *
581
00:27:57,243 --> 00:27:59,846
Boy, oh boy, what a great
day for a swim!
582
00:27:59,946 --> 00:28:02,982
Can't wait
to hit that fresh pool!
583
00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:05,985
Blackhawk, this is Browneye.
I am in position.
584
00:28:06,919 --> 00:28:09,355
Copy, Butters. Do you see
the slide we're looking for?
585
00:28:10,456 --> 00:28:12,725
That's a negative, Blackhawk.
Got nothin' here.
586
00:28:12,825 --> 00:28:14,961
What about over by
the funnel cakes, Eric?
587
00:28:16,162 --> 00:28:17,329
* She's a summertime girl... *
588
00:28:17,429 --> 00:28:19,065
I don't see
the slide that matches
589
00:28:19,165 --> 00:28:20,532
the one in the picture, Tolkien.
590
00:28:20,632 --> 00:28:22,869
I'm afraid this
could be a dead end, guys.
591
00:28:22,969 --> 00:28:24,937
-Wait. Oh, my God.
-What?
592
00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:27,774
There's a guy here who's just
totally staring at my tits.
593
00:28:27,874 --> 00:28:30,309
Hey, do you mind, sir?
My eyes are up here.
594
00:28:30,409 --> 00:28:32,078
Eric, we're trying not to
draw attention to oursel...
595
00:28:32,178 --> 00:28:34,146
Stop looking at my tits!
Yes, you are!
596
00:28:34,246 --> 00:28:35,647
Eric, do you...
597
00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:37,216
These people are all
staring at my fucking tits!
598
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:38,717
They're such perverts!
599
00:28:38,818 --> 00:28:41,420
Little boy, we're just
a bit shocked to see that.
600
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,990
Yeah, 'cause you're on the itty
bitty titty committee, bitch!
601
00:28:44,090 --> 00:28:46,492
Just focus on
the fucking plan, Eric!
602
00:28:47,293 --> 00:28:48,727
BUTTERS:
Hey, fellas, I think I got it!
603
00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:51,764
I found the slide
where the photo was taken!
604
00:28:52,531 --> 00:28:55,401
And there's some kind of bunker
entrance right next to it.
605
00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:03,776
(birds chirping)
606
00:29:03,876 --> 00:29:06,112
* *
607
00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:15,855
Hello, ma'am. I'm sorry
608
00:29:15,955 --> 00:29:19,291
but I need to speak
with you about your husband.
609
00:29:20,492 --> 00:29:22,628
-Is he dead?
-Not yet.
610
00:29:22,728 --> 00:29:26,598
But he will be as soon as
I can find him. Can I come in?
611
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:29,735
Your husband
is a very dangerous man.
612
00:29:29,836 --> 00:29:33,239
We now believe that he caused
the whole drought to happen.
613
00:29:33,339 --> 00:29:35,774
-Do you mind?
-Yes.
614
00:29:35,875 --> 00:29:37,243
Great.
615
00:29:37,343 --> 00:29:39,979
Now, obviously,
your husband had some kind
616
00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:41,780
of bigger business plan.
617
00:29:42,548 --> 00:29:44,516
He might have it
all explained somewhere.
618
00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:46,518
Does your husband have a deck?
619
00:29:47,486 --> 00:29:49,321
Of course my husband has a dick.
620
00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:51,757
Well, I'd like to see it,
if that's okay with you.
621
00:29:51,858 --> 00:29:54,593
How am I supposed to show you
when I don't even know
622
00:29:54,693 --> 00:29:56,628
-where he is?
-All right. If you want to
623
00:29:56,728 --> 00:29:58,497
be difficult, ma'am,
that's fine.
624
00:29:58,597 --> 00:30:00,933
But you know
where your husband is
625
00:30:01,033 --> 00:30:02,634
and so does your little boy.
626
00:30:02,734 --> 00:30:04,570
I'm sure that you've both
seen his deck
627
00:30:04,670 --> 00:30:06,605
and I'm sure
it's pretty massive.
628
00:30:06,705 --> 00:30:09,475
Detective, my husband
is a good man.
629
00:30:09,575 --> 00:30:11,577
Well, I'm sure
he was at one point.
630
00:30:11,677 --> 00:30:13,779
But then he
started a streaming service
631
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,115
and became
the monster that he is today.
632
00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:18,817
Okay, well, I think you
should leave now.
633
00:30:18,918 --> 00:30:20,452
All right, fine.
634
00:30:20,552 --> 00:30:23,422
But just so you know,
when I find your husband--
635
00:30:23,522 --> 00:30:26,525
and I will find him--
I'm gonna shoot him.
636
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:29,628
And then I'll check out
his deck later.
637
00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:33,866
* *
638
00:30:39,972 --> 00:30:41,207
This must be where all the pee
639
00:30:41,307 --> 00:30:43,175
is collected for
Pipi's streaming service.
640
00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:45,477
Sure is a lot of pee!
641
00:30:46,278 --> 00:30:47,746
This place is massive.
They had to have
642
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,615
been working on this place
for years!
643
00:30:49,715 --> 00:30:51,417
Yeah, looks like someone
has been planning
644
00:30:51,517 --> 00:30:53,419
on fucking my mom
for a long time!
645
00:30:53,519 --> 00:30:56,422
Everyone spread out
and see what you can find.
646
00:30:58,324 --> 00:30:59,926
What exactly are we looking for?
647
00:31:00,026 --> 00:31:03,029
Documents, contracts, condoms,
whatever you can find.
648
00:31:03,129 --> 00:31:05,297
Get a picture
of anything unusual.
649
00:31:05,397 --> 00:31:07,033
People would be
very interested to see
650
00:31:07,133 --> 00:31:08,567
how far along this all is.
651
00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:11,803
Hey, there's some little
brown chocolates on the floor.
652
00:31:17,076 --> 00:31:18,144
Chunk!
653
00:31:18,244 --> 00:31:20,479
(screaming)
654
00:31:20,579 --> 00:31:21,480
Whoa!
655
00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:30,389
It's okay. It's okay.
We're not gonna hurt you.
656
00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:33,292
(quietly):
Chuck Chuck?
657
00:31:35,027 --> 00:31:36,462
The fuck is that?
658
00:31:36,562 --> 00:31:37,896
What are you doing down here?
659
00:31:37,997 --> 00:31:39,498
Are you lost?
660
00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:42,201
Chuck Chuck.
661
00:31:43,769 --> 00:31:46,438
You guys, seriously,
the fuck is that?
662
00:31:46,538 --> 00:31:49,175
It's like a little bear pig...
663
00:31:51,677 --> 00:31:53,879
They don't know
you're down here, do they?
664
00:31:53,980 --> 00:31:56,315
Chuck Chuck.
665
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:58,884
Hey, stop right there!
666
00:32:05,324 --> 00:32:08,827
-(alarm blaring)
-(clamoring)
667
00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:14,166
Yeah, we did it! We did it!
668
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,667
Tell the boss we caught 'em!
669
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,403
We finally caught
the little buggers
670
00:32:17,503 --> 00:32:19,905
that've been messing
with the equipment down here.
671
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:23,475
* *
672
00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:25,077
I'm Reese Witherspoon.
673
00:32:25,177 --> 00:32:26,678
I think crypto is a great idea
674
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:29,415
but there's one investment
that's even smarter.
675
00:32:29,515 --> 00:32:32,318
That's why when my family
is enjoying festive party games,
676
00:32:32,418 --> 00:32:34,353
we do it in pee.
677
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:41,260
(grunts)
678
00:32:42,661 --> 00:32:44,196
(gasping)
679
00:32:44,296 --> 00:32:46,265
(retching)
680
00:32:49,701 --> 00:32:51,037
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Go pee!
681
00:32:51,137 --> 00:32:52,971
With Pipi+.
682
00:32:53,072 --> 00:32:54,773
(retching)
683
00:33:00,379 --> 00:33:01,813
Oh, hey, honey.
684
00:33:01,913 --> 00:33:03,582
-Any luck?
-No.
685
00:33:03,682 --> 00:33:06,285
The plant is almost ready to go
and I still can't figure out
686
00:33:06,385 --> 00:33:08,254
how to get the saltwater to it.
687
00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:10,722
The elevations
are just too extreme.
688
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:12,458
Hey, what are the kids doing?
689
00:33:12,558 --> 00:33:14,860
Mm, they're just in their rooms,
hanging out.
690
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,328
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
691
00:33:16,428 --> 00:33:18,330
How about we round them up
and go take a nice walk
692
00:33:18,430 --> 00:33:19,865
-or something.
-You sure?
693
00:33:19,965 --> 00:33:22,768
Yeah, I need a break
and they need a dad. Come on.
694
00:33:23,569 --> 00:33:24,736
(phone rings)
695
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:26,672
Oh, hang on a second,
it's Nelson.
696
00:33:26,772 --> 00:33:28,374
Hey, Nelson!
How's it going up there?
697
00:33:28,474 --> 00:33:30,976
NELSON:
Randy! Randy!
698
00:33:31,077 --> 00:33:32,744
The plant!
699
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,113
It's all wrecked!
700
00:33:34,213 --> 00:33:35,314
What are you talking about?
701
00:33:35,414 --> 00:33:37,483
It was climate change, Randy!
702
00:33:37,583 --> 00:33:39,451
It ripped apart
the watershed and took
703
00:33:39,551 --> 00:33:41,687
a huge shit
in the conversion tanks!
704
00:33:41,787 --> 00:33:42,988
No.
705
00:33:43,089 --> 00:33:44,723
It just started
tearing through people.
706
00:33:44,823 --> 00:33:48,827
But, Randy, it seemed like
it was looking for something.
707
00:33:48,927 --> 00:33:52,164
I'm scared it might
have been looking for you.
708
00:33:52,264 --> 00:33:54,800
(phone beeps)
709
00:33:57,169 --> 00:33:58,970
Randy, what's going on?
710
00:33:59,838 --> 00:34:01,473
What's going on, Dad?
711
00:34:01,573 --> 00:34:03,709
Take the kids to the basement
and lock the door.
712
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,145
Randy, what are we...
713
00:34:06,245 --> 00:34:08,714
Just do it, baby, please!
714
00:34:15,821 --> 00:34:18,124
Randy, I'm not gonna hurt you.
715
00:34:18,924 --> 00:34:20,692
What the fuck
are you doing here?!
716
00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:23,462
I need your help, Randy.
I can't go to the police.
717
00:34:23,562 --> 00:34:25,497
Yeah, no shit,
'cause you're a murderer!
718
00:34:25,597 --> 00:34:27,333
I didn't kill anyone!
719
00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:29,335
Look, I know
we've had our differences.
720
00:34:29,435 --> 00:34:31,370
But I need you to
trust me right now.
721
00:34:31,470 --> 00:34:33,605
I don't care
about Credigree Weed anymore.
722
00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:35,307
I just want to fix the drought.
723
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:37,309
You're not going to
fix it because
724
00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:39,178
Pipi controls everything!
725
00:34:39,278 --> 00:34:40,612
Pipi?
726
00:34:40,712 --> 00:34:42,548
He used the water commissioner
to get us
727
00:34:42,648 --> 00:34:44,750
to start our streaming war
against each other.
728
00:34:46,152 --> 00:34:47,219
No.
729
00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:48,854
He used us, Randy.
730
00:34:48,954 --> 00:34:51,056
Pipi tried to have me killed
but some little beaver thing
731
00:34:51,157 --> 00:34:52,524
saved me. Please.
732
00:34:52,624 --> 00:34:53,925
My wife said Tolkien
and his friends
733
00:34:54,025 --> 00:34:55,561
went to look for me
at the waterpark.
734
00:34:55,661 --> 00:34:58,130
Credigree and Tegridy
have to work together.
735
00:35:00,532 --> 00:35:02,601
Tegridy took over my life
736
00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:05,337
and completely ruined
my character.
737
00:35:05,437 --> 00:35:06,905
Don't you get it?
738
00:35:07,005 --> 00:35:10,442
We aren't the ones who
are ever gonna help anything.
739
00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:14,413
We're the ones who
make everything worse.
740
00:35:17,649 --> 00:35:19,185
(squeaking)
741
00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:23,189
(grunting) It's no use,
we can't hack through the bars.
742
00:35:23,289 --> 00:35:27,092
Hey. Hey there.
743
00:35:30,329 --> 00:35:32,498
(quietly):
Chuck Chuck.
744
00:35:33,299 --> 00:35:34,500
Hey.
745
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:36,368
Are you down here
looking for your dad?
746
00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:38,237
I'm looking for my dad, too.
747
00:35:38,337 --> 00:35:40,439
Oh, God, that's so cheesy.
748
00:35:42,007 --> 00:35:44,142
You don't have to be
afraid of people.
749
00:35:44,243 --> 00:35:45,411
I can tell you why.
750
00:35:45,511 --> 00:35:47,413
(grunting softly)
751
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,616
(flatulence)
752
00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:54,186
Chuck Chuck.
753
00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:56,755
Yes. Good, Tolkien,
I think you're starting
754
00:35:56,855 --> 00:35:59,024
-to reason with it.
-(heavy door opens)
755
00:36:01,927 --> 00:36:02,894
So!
756
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:04,530
You're the little "sabotagis"
757
00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:06,332
that's been messing
with my stuff, huh?
758
00:36:06,432 --> 00:36:09,601
Uh, no, we actually
just got here recently, sir.
759
00:36:09,701 --> 00:36:12,538
-Where is my dad?
-Your dad?
760
00:36:12,638 --> 00:36:14,273
-(snaps fingers)
-Oh...
761
00:36:14,373 --> 00:36:17,643
You the boys that
make-a the little boats-a. No?
762
00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:20,512
Oh, you help Pipi so much!
763
00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:23,482
You probably
made a lot of money, huh?
764
00:36:24,483 --> 00:36:25,917
We didn't know
what we were doing.
765
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,887
(chuckles):
Yeah, well, who does, huh?
766
00:36:28,987 --> 00:36:31,490
That's doing business
in America.
767
00:36:31,590 --> 00:36:33,091
You just get in,
768
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:36,295
fuck everything up,
pay people money you don't have,
769
00:36:36,395 --> 00:36:39,698
and try to get a big
market evaluation, yes?
770
00:36:39,798 --> 00:36:41,066
So you sped up climate change
771
00:36:41,166 --> 00:36:43,001
and then you fucked my mom,
is that it?
772
00:36:43,969 --> 00:36:44,703
Scusi?
773
00:36:44,803 --> 00:36:46,305
No, see, what he did was
774
00:36:46,405 --> 00:36:47,539
he paid people too much money
775
00:36:47,639 --> 00:36:49,074
while actually devaluing
the artists,
776
00:36:49,174 --> 00:36:51,109
creating a streaming business
that was driving content
777
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:53,011
instead of content
driving the business.
778
00:36:53,111 --> 00:36:55,914
So now he's got a huge company
but all he's delivering is piss.
779
00:36:56,014 --> 00:36:58,617
And now I'm about to have
the only streaming service
780
00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:00,151
in the world.
781
00:37:00,252 --> 00:37:03,922
You see, I have all
the celebrities here.
782
00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:08,860
Everybody to be in one big
final commerci together!
783
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,996
And when that commerci goes out,
784
00:37:11,096 --> 00:37:14,099
everybody gonna want to
invest in Pipi.
785
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:17,969
And you boys, well...
I'm afraid you might meet up
786
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:20,606
with a little accidente, eh?
787
00:37:20,706 --> 00:37:22,941
The pee-pee gonna come down
788
00:37:23,041 --> 00:37:26,211
and it gonna wash you boys
away down a drain-ee.
789
00:37:26,312 --> 00:37:29,981
Come on!
We gotta make-a the commerci!
790
00:37:31,417 --> 00:37:33,652
* *
791
00:37:40,959 --> 00:37:44,696
I'm sorry, guys. I got played.
792
00:37:44,796 --> 00:37:46,498
We all got played, Dad.
793
00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:48,133
The whole state.
794
00:37:48,233 --> 00:37:51,770
I really thought I could
make a difference this time.
795
00:37:51,870 --> 00:37:54,940
Well, you can't, Randy.
796
00:37:56,041 --> 00:37:58,477
But there is someone who can.
797
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,680
Somebody who can go
down to that waterpark
798
00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:03,915
and demand to be heard.
799
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:07,118
We need Karen back, Dad.
800
00:38:07,218 --> 00:38:08,454
What?
801
00:38:08,554 --> 00:38:10,422
No. No!
802
00:38:10,522 --> 00:38:11,923
You have to, Dad.
803
00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:13,692
Karen is the only one
that can get past security
804
00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:15,494
and insist
to see the management.
805
00:38:15,594 --> 00:38:18,229
Karen is gone. Okay?
806
00:38:19,331 --> 00:38:21,299
I'm never going back.
807
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:22,934
Then Pipi does win.
808
00:38:23,034 --> 00:38:25,070
And we all go without fresh
water for the rest of our lives.
809
00:38:25,170 --> 00:38:27,973
Come on, Karen, please.
My friends are down there.
810
00:38:28,073 --> 00:38:30,275
It doesn't work like that.
811
00:38:30,376 --> 00:38:33,612
I didn't just
become Karen overnight.
812
00:38:33,712 --> 00:38:35,280
First I smoked weed.
813
00:38:35,381 --> 00:38:36,815
Then I smoked too much weed.
814
00:38:36,915 --> 00:38:38,917
Then I started a weed farm
and then I got entitled
815
00:38:39,017 --> 00:38:41,286
and did everything
I could to protect it!
816
00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:48,660
But the weed is all gone now.
817
00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:51,863
Not all of it.
818
00:39:09,314 --> 00:39:12,484
The Thanksgiving Day Special?
You saved this?
819
00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:14,886
I-I made this, like,
three years ago.
820
00:39:14,986 --> 00:39:18,924
Yeah. I think it's
the best special you ever made.
821
00:39:20,225 --> 00:39:22,260
* *
822
00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:31,102
If I smoke this...
I won't remember any of you.
823
00:39:33,572 --> 00:39:37,242
It will be like none of
the past few days ever happened.
824
00:39:38,243 --> 00:39:40,245
We have to have water, Karen.
825
00:39:43,148 --> 00:39:45,784
* *
826
00:40:02,267 --> 00:40:04,302
(magical chiming)
827
00:40:09,541 --> 00:40:11,777
(no audio)
828
00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:14,913
(muffled):
What the hell is he doing?
829
00:40:15,013 --> 00:40:16,414
He looks ridiculous.
830
00:40:16,515 --> 00:40:18,850
Just-just let him do it, kids.
831
00:40:18,950 --> 00:40:19,851
(magical chiming)
832
00:40:19,951 --> 00:40:23,589
(humming, grunting)
833
00:40:23,689 --> 00:40:25,924
* *
834
00:40:30,161 --> 00:40:32,664
* We missed you, Karen *
835
00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:35,366
* Where have you been? *
836
00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:39,037
Someone's been
fucking with my Tegridy!
837
00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:42,207
-Yeah!
-Yeah, Dad!
838
00:40:42,307 --> 00:40:45,376
(applause)
839
00:40:45,477 --> 00:40:46,678
Thank you!
840
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:48,980
Thank you, everyone, for coming
841
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,283
to be a part
of filming my new commerci.
842
00:40:52,383 --> 00:40:56,955
This is gonna be the best
commerci we ever make-a!
843
00:40:58,423 --> 00:41:01,927
Okay, now everyone look
like you're having fun!
844
00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:07,132
Background action!
And action, Matt Damon-a!
845
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,701
Hi. I'm Matt Damon.
846
00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:13,772
Me and all my Hollywood friends
have a little secret to share.
847
00:41:13,872 --> 00:41:16,241
ALL:
We love being in pee.
848
00:41:16,341 --> 00:41:17,709
Are you in?
849
00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:18,977
Okay, that's good, that's good.
850
00:41:19,077 --> 00:41:22,080
Now you all play
in the pee a little bit.
851
00:41:22,881 --> 00:41:24,883
You laughing, you having fun.
852
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:26,952
You splash-a
the pee on each other.
853
00:41:29,154 --> 00:41:30,856
(groans)
854
00:41:30,956 --> 00:41:32,323
Good, good. You love the pee.
855
00:41:32,423 --> 00:41:34,560
Now maybe, Matt Damon,
you splash pee
856
00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:35,927
on Reesie Witherspoon.
857
00:41:36,027 --> 00:41:38,163
And then, Reesie, the pee--
the pee make you
858
00:41:38,263 --> 00:41:41,199
so happy that-that you cry.
859
00:41:41,299 --> 00:41:42,668
I cry?
860
00:41:42,768 --> 00:41:45,270
Yes, Reesie, you so happy
in the pee, it make you cry.
861
00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:49,541
And when you cry...
you cry the pee.
862
00:41:49,641 --> 00:41:52,343
I can't cry pee.
863
00:41:52,443 --> 00:41:53,912
Oh, come on, Reesie.
864
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,781
You slut yourself out
for crypto,
865
00:41:55,881 --> 00:41:57,749
now just be a slut for Pipi.
866
00:41:57,849 --> 00:42:01,119
Go on, cry, Reesie.
You're all a bunch of sellouts.
867
00:42:01,219 --> 00:42:03,555
Cry for the commerci.
Come on, cry.
868
00:42:03,655 --> 00:42:05,757
(crying)
869
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:08,193
(all crying)
870
00:42:10,596 --> 00:42:13,799
I'm sorry, folks,
the waterpark is closed
871
00:42:13,899 --> 00:42:15,433
for a commercial shoot.
872
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:17,736
We'll let you know as soon as we
get things back open again.
873
00:42:17,836 --> 00:42:19,304
(tires screeching)
874
00:42:19,404 --> 00:42:21,640
* *
875
00:42:21,740 --> 00:42:24,042
(people screaming)
876
00:42:31,717 --> 00:42:33,685
It's Karen!
877
00:42:33,785 --> 00:42:37,322
I want in your waterpark
right now!
878
00:42:37,422 --> 00:42:40,425
The park's closed,
they're filming a commercial.
879
00:42:40,525 --> 00:42:42,560
I wanna speak to your...
880
00:42:42,661 --> 00:42:43,929
(reverberates):
manager!
881
00:42:44,029 --> 00:42:46,164
-(people scream)
-(glass shatters)
882
00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:50,669
PIPI:
Good. Good.
883
00:42:50,769 --> 00:42:54,139
And now, Larry David, you come
up with the pee in your mouth.
884
00:42:55,874 --> 00:42:59,611
And then you just, you just spit
the pee on Gwyneth Paltrow.
885
00:43:01,747 --> 00:43:03,114
(retches)
886
00:43:03,214 --> 00:43:07,218
-(Randy yelling)
-(people screaming)
887
00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:13,391
There you are!
What's going on?
888
00:43:13,491 --> 00:43:15,927
You wanna tell me
what the fuck is going on?!
889
00:43:16,027 --> 00:43:17,996
Scusi, who let you in?
890
00:43:18,096 --> 00:43:21,199
I let myself in
because it's a free country
891
00:43:21,299 --> 00:43:23,434
and I'll stand where
I fucking want!
892
00:43:23,534 --> 00:43:24,870
Get him out of here!
893
00:43:24,970 --> 00:43:26,371
Don't you fucking touch me!
894
00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:28,506
Don't any of you
fucking touch me!
895
00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:31,409
Okay, we obviously have a bit
of a Karen here, let's, uh...
896
00:43:31,509 --> 00:43:33,679
You can call me Karen
all you fucking want!
897
00:43:33,779 --> 00:43:35,180
Motherfucker!
898
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,782
Why don't you tell everyone
what you've been doing?!
899
00:43:36,882 --> 00:43:40,151
(in distance): I want to speak
to someone in charge! No!
900
00:43:40,251 --> 00:43:42,153
No, 'cause clearly
you're not in charge!
901
00:43:42,253 --> 00:43:44,622
-What's going on up there?
-You don't even know what
the fuck you're doing!
902
00:43:44,723 --> 00:43:45,824
Do you?!
903
00:43:46,591 --> 00:43:49,594
-(clattering)
-Hello? Who's there?
904
00:43:50,361 --> 00:43:53,732
Who's there? Goddamn it,
I-I'm the fuckin' lifeguard.
905
00:43:53,832 --> 00:43:55,967
(whistle blows)
906
00:43:58,436 --> 00:44:00,038
(grunts)
907
00:44:03,675 --> 00:44:04,943
Whoa.
908
00:44:05,043 --> 00:44:07,645
No, you-you all need
to get a life!
909
00:44:07,746 --> 00:44:09,514
I'm not wasted, you're wasted!
910
00:44:09,614 --> 00:44:13,351
Okay, fine, if you don't leave,
I'm gonna call the police.
911
00:44:13,451 --> 00:44:14,552
Fuckin' do it!
912
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:16,021
Fucking call the police!
913
00:44:16,121 --> 00:44:18,023
Bring 'em right here!
Why don't you go back
914
00:44:18,123 --> 00:44:19,557
to your own fucking country?!
915
00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:21,559
-Oh, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Oh, whoa.
916
00:44:21,659 --> 00:44:24,395
Tom, it looks like
after several days of nothing,
917
00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:27,432
a new Karen video has finally
appeared on the Internet.
918
00:44:27,532 --> 00:44:30,101
A livestream caught Karen
spewing the usual
919
00:44:30,201 --> 00:44:31,636
entitled hateful bullshit,
920
00:44:31,737 --> 00:44:33,939
and more and more viewers
are tuning in!
921
00:44:34,039 --> 00:44:37,175
You probably don't even have
a fucking green card, do you?!
922
00:44:37,275 --> 00:44:39,444
Okay. Please leave, okay?
923
00:44:39,544 --> 00:44:42,113
No! You leave! I'm an American!
924
00:44:42,213 --> 00:44:43,749
I pay taxes!
925
00:44:43,849 --> 00:44:47,185
-Okay, please-please leave.
-No! You're a piece of shit
926
00:44:47,285 --> 00:44:49,721
who started the streaming wars
on purpose
927
00:44:49,821 --> 00:44:51,689
to-to cause the drought!
928
00:44:53,224 --> 00:44:55,060
Okay-okay, that's it.
929
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,395
Everybody, we're sorry
for the disturbance.
930
00:44:57,495 --> 00:44:59,765
Yeah, and then you pay
celebrities to get people
931
00:44:59,865 --> 00:45:01,332
to invest in your dumb shit
932
00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:03,668
'cause you know
it's fucking dumb!
933
00:45:06,071 --> 00:45:09,908
Somebody get this Karen
out of my face-y!
934
00:45:10,008 --> 00:45:11,843
(distant roaring)
935
00:45:11,943 --> 00:45:13,745
(people screaming)
936
00:45:13,845 --> 00:45:15,280
(roaring)
937
00:45:16,281 --> 00:45:19,617
Oh, you fucked now, Karen.
938
00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:22,620
Oh, look out! ManBearPig!
939
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:25,090
(roaring)
940
00:45:25,190 --> 00:45:27,993
TOLKIEN:
Dad? Dad!
941
00:45:28,093 --> 00:45:30,161
Dad, you're okay!
942
00:45:30,261 --> 00:45:33,264
Tolkien? Tolkien!
943
00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:36,401
* *
944
00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:41,372
* *
945
00:45:43,674 --> 00:45:45,076
Where did you come from?!
946
00:45:45,176 --> 00:45:47,212
We were busted out
by our new friend.
947
00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:49,180
It's okay, you can come out.
948
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:56,187
Chuck Chuck.
949
00:45:56,287 --> 00:45:58,256
What the fuck is that thing?
950
00:45:58,356 --> 00:46:01,092
I think I can explain it all.
951
00:46:02,127 --> 00:46:04,595
You see,
for Pipi's plan to work,
952
00:46:04,695 --> 00:46:06,898
he needed to
control climate change.
953
00:46:06,998 --> 00:46:11,169
And the only way to control
anything, is by fucking its mom.
954
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,371
But what Pipi didn't count on,
955
00:46:13,471 --> 00:46:16,174
was that
a child will stop at nothing
956
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:18,776
to find out
who is fucking their mom.
957
00:46:20,846 --> 00:46:22,547
Chuck Chuck.
958
00:46:29,888 --> 00:46:32,657
See? I-I keep them safe, uh-huh.
959
00:46:32,757 --> 00:46:34,292
(growling)
960
00:46:34,392 --> 00:46:37,195
Whoa, whoa. Hold on
a minute, ManBearBitchie.
961
00:46:37,295 --> 00:46:38,897
We have a great team, no?
962
00:46:38,997 --> 00:46:40,498
-(roaring)
-(people screaming)
963
00:46:40,598 --> 00:46:44,102
You no wanna hurt Pipi.
Look at everything we've done!
964
00:46:44,202 --> 00:46:45,904
(roaring)
965
00:46:46,004 --> 00:46:47,305
(screaming)
966
00:46:48,773 --> 00:46:50,775
(roaring)
967
00:46:50,876 --> 00:46:53,178
(gasping)
968
00:46:55,013 --> 00:46:56,681
(roaring)
969
00:46:56,781 --> 00:46:58,516
(Pipi gasping)
970
00:46:58,616 --> 00:46:59,784
(roars)
971
00:46:59,885 --> 00:47:02,087
I give you half
of the company, huh?!
972
00:47:02,187 --> 00:47:03,788
What do you say,
ManBearBitchie?!
973
00:47:03,889 --> 00:47:07,959
We can own the only streaming
service in the world together!
974
00:47:08,059 --> 00:47:10,195
-(roaring)
-(screaming)
975
00:47:13,999 --> 00:47:15,533
(squeaks)
976
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:19,237
(squeaking)
977
00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:22,740
-It's over. We did it!
-We did it, Dad!
978
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,476
Randy. Thank you so much.
979
00:47:28,379 --> 00:47:31,282
Randy? What are you staring at?
980
00:47:31,382 --> 00:47:33,484
Oh, here we go again.
981
00:47:33,584 --> 00:47:35,786
No, wait.
982
00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:38,256
Mr.... Mr. Marsh?
983
00:47:38,356 --> 00:47:39,724
My eyes are up-- Dude!
984
00:47:39,824 --> 00:47:44,329
How to get saltwater to
the desalinization plant.
985
00:47:45,163 --> 00:47:47,232
Saltwater-- saline.
986
00:47:47,332 --> 00:47:49,467
Saline in the plant.
987
00:47:49,567 --> 00:47:52,770
Saline implant! Holy fuck!
988
00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:56,341
(cheering)
989
00:47:57,808 --> 00:48:00,545
Today we try
for a new beginning.
990
00:48:00,645 --> 00:48:04,515
You know, in police work,
we don't always get it right.
991
00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:07,718
I wanted a deck in my hands
so bad that I didn't care
992
00:48:07,818 --> 00:48:09,187
whose deck it was.
993
00:48:09,287 --> 00:48:10,989
But I'm happy
to be standing here now
994
00:48:11,089 --> 00:48:13,358
with our new test subject.
995
00:48:13,458 --> 00:48:16,261
Thank you. I just
want to say to my mom...
996
00:48:16,361 --> 00:48:18,596
Mom, I'm sorry.
997
00:48:18,696 --> 00:48:21,632
I'm sorry that I can't
always be the son that you need.
998
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,969
Because right now you need
a son that can stay firm
999
00:48:24,069 --> 00:48:25,336
and teach you a lesson.
1000
00:48:25,436 --> 00:48:28,940
But unfortunately, duty calls.
I'm ready.
1001
00:48:36,847 --> 00:48:38,616
Okay, hit it.
1002
00:48:40,952 --> 00:48:43,989
(gurgling)
1003
00:48:44,089 --> 00:48:46,357
* *
1004
00:48:46,457 --> 00:48:48,793
Okay, it works.
Bring in the rest!
1005
00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:55,466
* *
1006
00:49:07,345 --> 00:49:09,580
(gurgling)
1007
00:49:13,018 --> 00:49:14,619
(gurgling)
1008
00:49:22,593 --> 00:49:24,595
We got Matt Damon to tell
every woman
1009
00:49:24,695 --> 00:49:26,231
with fake tits to be brave!
1010
00:49:26,331 --> 00:49:28,266
Look at all of them.
1011
00:49:36,407 --> 00:49:38,676
It's working!
1012
00:49:38,776 --> 00:49:40,611
(cheering)
1013
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,383
Hey, everybody! Look!
1014
00:49:51,656 --> 00:49:55,360
ManBearPig is leaving with
PigBearGirl and Chuck Chuck.
1015
00:49:55,460 --> 00:49:58,096
(roars)
1016
00:49:58,196 --> 00:49:59,897
Chuck Chuck!
1017
00:50:06,871 --> 00:50:07,938
Hey, wait.
1018
00:50:08,039 --> 00:50:09,474
If that little thing
1019
00:50:09,574 --> 00:50:11,376
is gonna be
climate change someday,
1020
00:50:11,476 --> 00:50:13,578
shouldn't we, like... kill it?
1021
00:50:14,945 --> 00:50:16,047
I think what we should do
1022
00:50:16,147 --> 00:50:17,282
is try to reach out to it,
1023
00:50:17,382 --> 00:50:18,716
see what it needs
and see if it can
1024
00:50:18,816 --> 00:50:20,251
be different from its father.
1025
00:50:20,351 --> 00:50:22,620
Yeah, but that
all sounds really hard.
1026
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:25,490
We have enough water
for the summer now. Fuck it.
1027
00:50:25,590 --> 00:50:27,692
Let's smoke some weed!
1028
00:50:27,792 --> 00:50:30,995
(cheering)
1029
00:50:31,096 --> 00:50:33,331
* *
1030
00:50:34,632 --> 00:50:36,867
(cheering continues)
1031
00:50:39,870 --> 00:50:41,906
* *
1032
00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:13,904
* *
69842
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