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♪ ♪
2
00:00:10,643 --> 00:00:13,237
(no voice)
3
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:18,750
♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
4
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:24,414
♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
5
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:26,957
♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
6
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,755
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
7
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:34,993
♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
8
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:40,732
♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
9
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:46,005
♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
10
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:52,278
♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
11
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:57,447
♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
12
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:05,100
Ripped By mstoll
13
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,424
Okay, Andy, here's your pop
sticks and here's your glue.
14
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,761
What are you going to make?
15
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,302
A mess.
16
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:12,427
Come on, Andy.
17
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,267
What did Nick teach you
in art class?
18
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,034
He taught me to let
your artistic ideas
19
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,507
spill out all over the place.
20
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,578
Sure.
21
00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:21,873
That's because he doesn't
have to clean it up.
22
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,112
I want to make
a present for Nick.
23
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,276
I'm going to miss my art class.
24
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,853
I know you are, Andy.
25
00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:30,649
Why does it have to end?
26
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,849
Well, 'cause the
community center needs the space
27
00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:35,688
and the class was only
for six weeks anyway,
28
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,091
so it has to end.
29
00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:40,825
I can't work
under these conditions.
30
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:43,767
Hi, guys.
31
00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:47,031
Well, this was a successful trip
to the supermarket!
32
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,765
And good news.
33
00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:50,705
There was a special
on turkey franks.
34
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,778
It was not a special.
35
00:01:52,912 --> 00:01:54,243
Sure there was.
36
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:57,406
Buy 300, get one free.
37
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,048
What's all this stuff?
38
00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:02,654
Oh, Andy's making
a farewell gift for Nick.
39
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,656
A farewell gift for Nick?
40
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,420
Let me help.
41
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:09,653
Dad, relax.
42
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:10,854
Nick's not going anywhere.
43
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:13,022
It's just that
his art class is ending.
44
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,133
That's such a shame.
45
00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:15,825
You know, I picked up Andy
there last week,
46
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,163
and-and I saw Nick teaching.
47
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,793
He's wonderful with those kids.
48
00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,303
And he's not taking this
sitting down.
49
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,203
He wants to start
his own art school.
50
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:24,105
He went to the bank today
to get a loan.
51
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:27,236
A loan? They won't even
give him a calendar.
52
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,475
Don't laugh.
Alex went with him.
53
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,948
I think he really has a chance.
54
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,177
ALEX:
Just explain to me, Nick,
55
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,651
explain to me
how you could do that, okay?
56
00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:37,278
You completely blew it.
57
00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:38,515
What happened?
58
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:39,818
What happened,
we go down to the bank,
59
00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:41,358
my favorite bank;
they love me there.
60
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:46,056
I mean, the bank manager's got
a picture of me on his desk.
61
00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:47,188
So what went wrong?
62
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,322
Hey-hey, I don't know.
63
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,402
I-I walk into the bank,
64
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:52,266
I go up to the guy
behind the counter,
65
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:56,136
and I say,
"I need $5,000 and quick."
66
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,403
So?
67
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:01,309
So he rang the alarm.
68
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,308
I had to identify him
69
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:04,780
to the police.
70
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,215
I hope the bank invites me
71
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:09,913
to the annual money fondling
picnic again.
72
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:14,117
Well, I guess that's the end
of the art school.
73
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,625
This seems so wrong.
74
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,457
I mean, all you need is $5,000.
75
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:20,065
You know, I don't think
you have any other choice.
76
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,462
There's only one place to go
77
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,228
to get this money,
and you know it.
78
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:26,698
Where's that?
79
00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,067
To your father.
80
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,199
- (whispers): Yes.
- (whispers): Thank God.
81
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:32,776
Uh, no way.
82
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,608
I told you, he and I
are not on speaking terms.
83
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,046
There is no way
that I am asking him.
84
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:43,849
Okay, everybody,
paint brushes down!
85
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,185
All right, all right.
86
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:48,294
Let's check it out,
see what we got here, huh?
87
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,919
Whoa.
88
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,393
Hey, you know something?
89
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:55,831
We're good.
90
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,095
You know something?
91
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,829
You're right, we are good.
92
00:03:58,972 --> 00:03:59,904
This is great, huh?
93
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:01,870
Anyway, next week,
94
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,169
we are going to do collages.
95
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,778
What about the week after that?
96
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,813
There isn't going to be
any week after that, honey.
97
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,074
Class is over then.
98
00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:11,706
(kids groaning)
99
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:12,715
Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey.
100
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,319
But that does not mean
101
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:16,388
you guys got to stop
doing your work, right?
102
00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:17,489
Okay, now come on.
103
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:18,750
Let's get your coats
and everything.
104
00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:20,017
Everybody find your moms.
Bye-bye.
105
00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:22,491
- We'll see you next week.
- KIDS: Bye.
106
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,187
Nick, I already did my work.
107
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:25,297
Oh, hey, Andy.
108
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,058
This is very creative.
109
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,259
You got, let me see,
a house with a tree,
110
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:31,734
and a, uh, birdie
mowing the lawn.
111
00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:32,838
That's not a bird.
112
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:34,337
- That's Dad.
- Oh.
113
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:35,964
Really?
114
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,441
I thought that was your mother.
115
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,443
Oh, no, no, that's definitely
you, Mr. Keaton.
116
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:43,481
Uh, check out the spindly legs.
117
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,743
Always a pleasure, Nick.
118
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:47,079
Hey, bye-bye, Andy.
119
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,211
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye, Mr. Keaton.
120
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,851
Bye-bye, art class.
121
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,324
Nick, you can't let this happen.
122
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,951
You've got to keep teaching.
123
00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:58,723
Well, Mal,
what am I going to do?
124
00:04:58,865 --> 00:04:59,923
How about your father?
125
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,090
Oh, no, no, no.
126
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,724
He is not going to help me.
127
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,302
He has to, Nick;
that's the rule.
128
00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:06,371
Fathers have to help
their children.
129
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,805
Mal, he walked out on us
when I was 11 years old.
130
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:12,877
Well, do you know
where he is now?
131
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:13,979
Yeah, sure.
132
00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:15,910
He's got a, uh,
used car lot downtown.
133
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,744
Joe Moore's Motors.
134
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,078
Joe Moore?!
135
00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:20,776
The one on TV?!
136
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,785
I love his commercials!
137
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:24,287
Especially the one
138
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,585
where he walks on top
of the cars wearing stilts.
139
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,490
How does he do that?
140
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:30,823
I don't know.
141
00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:33,955
He used to do that at home, too.
142
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,330
Nick, a lot of time has passed.
143
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:39,836
I mean, maybe he's changed.
144
00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:42,440
Nick, give him a call.
145
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:45,135
If-if he doesn't want
to see you, fine, forget it.
146
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,610
But if he does, then maybe
you can work something out.
147
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:53,809
Hey, my old man here yet?
148
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,346
No, no.
149
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,117
Come on in.
150
00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:01,658
Look, uh, Alex,
I hope you don't mind me
151
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,159
having this little
family reunion here.
152
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,230
You know, Mal thought
it would be a good idea
153
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:09,324
for me and my father to meet
on neutral territory.
154
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,494
Nick, let me
tell you something, okay?
155
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:14,538
This is our living room.
156
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:18,610
Switzerland is
neutral territory.
157
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:22,181
But, uh, listen, seeing as
your father's coming over,
158
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,715
and-and he has that-that lot
full of used cars,
159
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,580
wonder if you could
mention to him
160
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:29,119
that I just, I happen to be
in the market for, uh,
161
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:30,552
for a very reliable, I mean,
162
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:33,386
I mean, bargain-priced,
rock bottom,
163
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:37,018
almost free... Jaguar.
164
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,162
Look, Alex, Alex,
you don't understand.
165
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,961
Me and my old man,
we don't get along.
166
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,195
You know, I ain't got nothing
to talk to him about.
167
00:06:46,372 --> 00:06:48,397
You don't know how lucky you are
168
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:49,872
to have a dad who loves you.
169
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:51,704
You know, a dad with class.
170
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,471
A dad you can be proud of.
171
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:55,604
Turkey franks, anyone?
172
00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:05,918
I got turkey frank pâté.
173
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:08,356
I got turkey frank meatballs.
174
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:11,486
And my personal favorite,
turkey Frank Sinatra.
175
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,770
You were saying, Nick?
176
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,132
(doorbell rings)
177
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,671
That's him! That's him!
178
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:21,774
Now wait a minute.
Don't get...
179
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:22,966
Oh, my God, Dad!
180
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,667
Now, just 'cause this man
is on television
181
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,073
is no reason to get crazy.
182
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:27,736
Dad! Just act natural,
all right?
183
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:28,938
Everybody, you hear me?
184
00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:30,912
Just act natural.
185
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,312
Okay?
186
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,316
Okay, hey.
187
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,750
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
188
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,115
Stand back.
189
00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:38,917
I'm going to open the door now.
190
00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:41,686
Are we greeting your father
or molten lava?
191
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,631
Hey.
192
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,676
Hey.
193
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,672
Hey.
194
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:07,485
Hey.
195
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,316
My God, Elyse,
they're speaking Nick-anese.
196
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,485
Look at you.
197
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:18,892
You look great!
198
00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:20,931
Yeah, you look great, too.
199
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,056
Yeah.
200
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:24,465
I don't see what the problem is.
201
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:27,402
They seem to agree
on everything.
202
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,098
Hey, hey-ey.
203
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,836
- Hey.
- Hey.
204
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:33,969
I think they're summing up now.
205
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,220
Joe, I'd like you to meet
Mrs. And Mr. Keaton.
206
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,321
Hey.
207
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,821
- Hey.
- Hey.
208
00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:48,154
Alex and Jennifer.
209
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,626
- Hey.
- Hey.
210
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:53,197
And my lovely girlfriend,
Mallory.
211
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:54,299
Mallory.
212
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,196
- I love your work.
- Yeah.
213
00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:57,427
Uh, now you met me,
214
00:08:57,570 --> 00:09:00,232
I want you to meet
my better half, uh, my car.
215
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,364
Oh.
216
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,642
- Ain't she a beauty?
- (whistles)
217
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,179
I call her Marie.
218
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:12,508
You got yourself
a good woman there, Joe.
219
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,746
Uh, you know,
if you like her so much,
220
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:19,255
she just happens to have a twin
down at the lot, name of Joann.
221
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,724
Joann recently passed
her emissions test.
222
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:27,762
Joe, Joe, Joe, these people
do not want to buy a car.
223
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,026
Hey, don't go nuts, okay?
224
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:30,100
It's a reflex.
225
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,965
I sell, I sell. Huh?
226
00:09:32,104 --> 00:09:33,765
Okay.
227
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,669
- Uh, excuse me, uh, Joe.
- Yeah?
228
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,571
Uh, listen,
I was just wondering.
229
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,473
How much would
a couple of classy girls
230
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:43,139
like Marie and, uh, and Joann
set a guy like me back?
231
00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:45,216
Emotionally,
I don't think I can bear
232
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:46,943
to part with either one of them.
233
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,384
But $7,000
might help me compensate
234
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:52,719
for any severe
separation anxieties.
235
00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:55,292
Well, well, why don't
we all sit down and, uh,
236
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,895
get to know each other, huh?
237
00:09:57,029 --> 00:09:58,189
That's a good idea, Nick.
238
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,265
You always were the one
with the brains in the family.
239
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:07,070
How-how about
an hors d'oeuvre, Joe?
240
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:08,571
Oh, I don't mind if I do.
241
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:09,800
Oh, look at that, turkey franks.
242
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:10,909
They're gorgeous.
243
00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:13,068
Ah, if I have one,
I got to have a million.
244
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:14,179
(chuckles)
245
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,304
Well, you came
to the right house.
246
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,583
Look, Joe,
about this business proposition.
247
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,745
Uh, what I want to do
is start a...
248
00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:24,378
Business later.
249
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:26,320
The night is young.
250
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,155
Look, look, look, Joe,
this is very simple,
251
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,820
and I would really like
to get it out of the way, okay?
252
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,330
Nicky...
253
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,196
you miss your old man, huh?
254
00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:38,434
Come over here. Come here.
255
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:39,503
Give me a hug.
Give me a hug.
256
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,163
I don't feel like it.
257
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,002
Hey, come on.
258
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,666
Give me a hug.
259
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,175
Come on.
260
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,303
There.
261
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:53,142
Hey.
262
00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:55,446
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
wait a minute.
263
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:56,555
What's this?
264
00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,554
It's a bread box for Nick.
265
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,181
A bread box?
Wait a minute, I thought...
266
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,260
I thought we decided
what we were going to make
267
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,589
for Nick's farewell present.
268
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:05,959
Huh? What did we say
we were going to make?
269
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:09,590
The Reagan Ranch.
270
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:10,759
That's right, that's right.
271
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:12,837
I got the plans right here.
272
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,371
I even... now this is great...
273
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,270
even have plans
for a little, uh,
274
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:20,175
a little pop stick Ron
and a little pop stick Nancy.
275
00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:23,304
How about a pop stick jail
for his cabinet?
276
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:33,484
Yeah, okay.
277
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,150
I get it, I get it.
278
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,125
The minute I leave, you guys,
279
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,197
you guys turn on me,
you change your mind.
280
00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:40,389
All right, that's fine.
281
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,898
I don't need you guys.
282
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,899
I will build
my own Reagan Ranch.
283
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,971
I will build my own
pop stick empire.
284
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:50,041
(sarcastic laugh)
285
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,643
Oh, no, you don't.
No, you don't.
286
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:55,213
I stayed up all night eating
ice cream pops for those sticks!
287
00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:56,871
Nick, I'm so excited.
288
00:11:57,016 --> 00:12:00,474
We're going to see 101Dalmatians for the 101st time!
289
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:01,916
Quick-quick-quick,
turn on the TV.
290
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,783
- I don't want to miss
any of the barking. - Okay.
291
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,447
(banjo playing over TV)
292
00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:06,956
JOE (over TV):
This is Joe
293
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:08,993
"I've got a cherry of a deal
for you" Moore.
294
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,390
(chuckles)
295
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:13,293
At Joe Moore Motors,
you get more.
296
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,764
More value, more quality,
297
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,529
more car
for your car-buying buck.
298
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:19,968
Oh, God, this is embarrassing.
299
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,539
I got to turn it down.
300
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:25,371
Oh, Nick, you have to be
a little bit more understanding.
301
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:28,344
I mean, Joe does things
the best way he knows how.
302
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,972
I mean, granted, he's not
the classiest guy in the world.
303
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:33,108
I mean, he's not you.
304
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:37,747
You see, that's just it.
305
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,380
You know, you caught
all the breaks.
306
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:42,119
Your dad's smart,
your dad's intellectual,
307
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,058
your dad's distinguished.
308
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:48,030
Oh, boy! 101 Dalmatians.
309
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:49,327
(clears throat)
310
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:51,493
Did I miss any barking?
311
00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:53,036
You see, Mal? You see?
312
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,969
My father never did
anything like this with me.
313
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:57,166
You know, Mr. Keaton,
314
00:12:57,309 --> 00:13:00,301
in a way, my father's
not my father.
315
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,778
You're my father.
316
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:04,906
Oh, Nick.
317
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:09,786
Don't say that.
318
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:11,412
- (doorbell rings)
- I'll get it.
319
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,894
- (shrieks)
- JOE: Hey, sir or madam!
320
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,658
Guess who.
I'll give you a hint.
321
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:20,891
It's me!
322
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,261
(laughs)
323
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:23,595
Joe, you're so funny!
324
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,067
I brought presents.
325
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:26,671
Uh, personalized mud flaps
for everybody.
326
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,830
- Oh!
- Hey! Ooh.
327
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,838
Oh, yeah.
328
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,636
Thank you. Thank you, Joe.
329
00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:34,575
I'm-I'm going to run these
mud flaps up to Elyse.
330
00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,648
Uh, our anniversary's coming up.
331
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:40,115
Congratulations.
332
00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:43,415
Joe, tell me,
what kind of transportation
333
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,218
could a fellow get for $500?
334
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,826
You can get on a bus to Haiti.
335
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,830
(chuckles)
336
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,592
Okay, all right.
337
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:57,395
I'll come back when you, when
you stop kidding around, huh?
338
00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:59,265
- Okay. Thanks.
- All right.
339
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:03,068
And for you, Nick,
I got something special.
340
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,040
Me.
341
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,804
Huh?
342
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,039
Oh, hey, thanks, Joe.
343
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,376
I ain't got nothing like this.
344
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:14,680
How about I take you two out
to dinner at the Fish Shanty?
345
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,287
You remember
the Fish Shanty, huh?
346
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,151
- No.
- Come on!
347
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:19,621
It was your favorite restaurant.
348
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:22,090
I took you there once.
349
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:25,197
Yeah, yeah, right, I remember.
350
00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:27,026
Beautiful time.
351
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:28,793
No.
352
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,731
No, I didn't have
such a beautiful time
353
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,201
at the Fish Shanty.
354
00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:35,205
As I remember, you met up with
a couple of your buddies, uh,
355
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:37,832
started drinking, and you had to
have the waiter drive me home.
356
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:40,309
It's funny.
I don't remember it that way.
357
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:41,811
Well, that's the way
it happened.
358
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:44,643
Look, why don't we forget
talking about the good old days
359
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:47,013
and, uh, talk about
my art school, okay?
360
00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:49,586
Well, you could talk about it
over dinner.
361
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,190
Somehow, I lost my appetite.
362
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:53,916
Oh.
363
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:56,492
Uh, Nick.
364
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,153
Hmm?
365
00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,060
I'll tell you what.
366
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:01,826
Tomorrow afternoon,
come down to the lot.
367
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:05,869
You tell me what your needs are,
I'll make out a check for you.
368
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,833
(door closes)
369
00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:16,647
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
370
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,306
Very clever indeed.
371
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:21,442
You really pinned me
to the wall on this one.
372
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,646
Uh, let's see what we have here.
373
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:27,384
With the rebate,
the dealer warranty, and...
374
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:29,551
No!
375
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:33,062
3.9 financing.
376
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:37,464
Oh, you get one cherry
of a deal, my good friend,
377
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,730
at 1,995.
378
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:45,766
I beg to differ, my good friend.
379
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,542
But the automobile in question,
380
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,778
if squeezed
into a glass of water,
381
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:59,050
would produce a tangy and
refreshing glass of lemonade.
382
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,955
500.
383
00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:06,462
You insult me, my dear friend.
384
00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:09,089
And yet,
I take no personal offense.
385
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:17,834
The car does have
a certain citrus quality...
386
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:24,947
...which may be easier
to swallow at the paltry price
387
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:27,518
of 1,775.
388
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,814
A good price
and a wonderful year.
389
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,416
1,000.
390
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:36,491
Hey.
391
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:37,959
Alex, what are you doing here?
392
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:39,587
I'm trying to buy an automobile,
393
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,962
but, uh, Joe and I
aren't seeing eye-to-eye.
394
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:43,932
Careful, he's a snake.
395
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:47,004
Hey, don't worry, Mal,
I can take care of this guy.
396
00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:49,039
I was talking to Joe.
397
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:53,337
Alex, I'll tell you
what I want you to do.
398
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:57,006
I want you to take her out
for a test drive.
399
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:59,140
I know you're going to love
the way she handles.
400
00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:01,275
Just don't turn right.
401
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,957
Ah.
402
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,824
Okay, Nicky, what do you need?
403
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:12,953
5,000.
404
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,224
5,000.
405
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:19,064
It's really great
what you're doing for Nick, Joe.
406
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:22,173
It really means a lot to him.
407
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,606
Here you go, son.
408
00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,678
$5,000.
409
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,246
Hey, uh, thanks, Joe.
410
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:32,941
I really appreciate this.
411
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:35,315
Uh, I'll make sure
I get it back to you.
412
00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:36,614
Excuse me, Mallory.
413
00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:39,087
I would like to have
a private moment with my son.
414
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,282
Oh, sure, sure.
415
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,155
I-I'll just go join Alex.
416
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:45,286
Yes, I see him out there
going around in circles.
417
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:52,135
So, uh, what do you want, Joe?
418
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:55,399
I just gave you 5,000 smackers.
419
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,839
Don't call me "Joe,"
call me "Dad."
420
00:17:57,976 --> 00:17:59,637
I don't know.
421
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:01,336
It's not easy.
422
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,107
- I'm your father, right?
- Yeah, you're my father.
423
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,545
I brought you
into this world, right?
424
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:06,617
Yeah, and I've been meaning
to thank you for that.
425
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,185
You can thank me.
426
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,788
You can thank me
by calling me "Dad."
427
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,255
Hey, hey, let's not start this,
all right? What's the point?
428
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:15,553
We both know
what's gone down between us.
429
00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:16,820
In other words,
you're going to take the money
430
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:18,156
and you're going to be off
on your sweet way?
431
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:19,321
Is that what it is?
432
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:20,591
Well, what else is there
here for me, huh?
433
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:21,699
There's me, Nicky.
434
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:22,698
Oh, come on, Joe.
435
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,359
Who are you kidding, huh?
436
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:25,367
I was there.
437
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,597
I was there
the day you walked out.
438
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:29,366
What is with you, huh?
439
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:32,375
Are you determined not to
forgive me, no matter what I do,
440
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:34,206
no matter what I say,
no matter nothing?!
441
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:35,870
Huh?!
442
00:18:36,014 --> 00:18:37,072
You don't understand me!
443
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:38,740
You don't know
my side of the story!
444
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:39,748
Oh, yeah?
445
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:42,115
What is your side of the story?
446
00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:44,085
Okay, you want to know
my side of the story?
447
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:45,349
I'm going to tell you!
448
00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:49,823
Your mother and I
never loved each other, okay?
449
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,795
We got married because
she was pregnant with you.
450
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:54,728
We tried to make it work, Nicky.
451
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,232
Believe me, we tried.
452
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:59,269
We did everything we could do,
but there was no way.
453
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,073
But that's all in the past now.
454
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,199
Can't we get beyond this point?
455
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:09,303
Maybe you can, but I can't.
456
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:13,384
I was 11 years old the day
you walked out that door.
457
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:16,682
And that was my childhood,
the only one I'll ever have,
458
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,847
and there was no father there!
459
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,788
Hey!
460
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:22,052
You called, I came.
461
00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:24,355
You said you needed money,
I gave you a check.
462
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,123
What else do you want from me?
463
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:28,256
Not this.
464
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:38,439
Well, this happens to be
465
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,545
a particularly
interesting collage.
466
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:44,706
Uh, we got a man's head
on a kangaroo's body.
467
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,442
Anybody know what we call that?
468
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:48,143
KIDS:
No.
469
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:49,982
A mangaroo.
470
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:50,884
(kids laugh)
471
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,388
All right, all right, everybody,
472
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:53,889
it's time to call it quits.
473
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,994
(kids groaning)
474
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:57,595
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
475
00:19:57,729 --> 00:19:58,821
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
476
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,989
I am not that happy
about it, either.
477
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,124
And I'm going to miss
each and every one of you.
478
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:05,327
But I got a very special present
479
00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,131
for all of you
over here on the table.
480
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:11,072
So make sure you pick one up
before you go, all right?
481
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,268
Hey-ey!
482
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:13,708
I'll see you later, all right?
483
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,312
- You take care.
- Bye, Nick.
484
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:17,438
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
485
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,517
Nick, I have a present for you.
486
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:21,414
- Whoa.
- It's a breadbox.
487
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,918
Oh, great, Andy.
488
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:23,919
Thanks.
489
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,580
Take care, buddy.
490
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,715
Nick...
491
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,468
...this is for you.
492
00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,798
It's the Reagan Ranch.
493
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:41,371
Buddy, thanks.
494
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:44,373
(grunting)
495
00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:46,136
No, forget it, Nick!
Forget it, Nick!
496
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:48,508
I worked all night on this!
This is mine, okay?!
497
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:50,672
This is my ranch, all right?
This is mine.
498
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:53,614
I'm taking this, too.
I want this, too.
499
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:58,616
- How are you, Joe?
- Hey. - Hey, Joe.
500
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,555
Uh, what is this, some kind of
kids' coloring center?
501
00:21:01,693 --> 00:21:05,891
Well, uh, in a manner
of speaking.
502
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:09,626
So, uh, Nick is
the chief colorer?
503
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:12,566
He's very talented and
he's wonderful with children.
504
00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:14,729
Oh, yeah?
A chip off the old block, huh?
505
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,363
I got a way with kids.
506
00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:18,100
Hey, kid, you got a smoke?
507
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,547
- Nick. Nick.
- Huh?
508
00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:30,211
Look who's here.
509
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:36,153
Hi. I'm really glad
you could come, Joe.
510
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,422
Yeah, Mallory.
511
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,632
Have a seat.
512
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:46,169
Huh.
513
00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:50,639
(clears throat)
514
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:53,870
So, you're a teacher, huh?
515
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:58,244
Who would have ever thought a
son of mine would be a teacher?
516
00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,975
You know, Nick,
when you were born,
517
00:22:00,118 --> 00:22:01,779
I just had one dream for you:
518
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,411
That you'd turn out
to be better than me.
519
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:07,821
No, I never wanted
to be better than you.
520
00:22:07,959 --> 00:22:10,120
You're my dad.
521
00:22:10,262 --> 00:22:12,355
I looked up to you.
522
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:14,795
I just wanted you to be around.
523
00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:16,594
I just wanted you to be there
524
00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:19,033
to teach me things,
like how to throw a ball
525
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,605
or how to ask a girl out
or how to dance.
526
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:22,832
Hey, it's not too late.
527
00:22:22,974 --> 00:22:24,669
What do you want to learn,
the mambo, the cha-cha,
528
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:27,506
the hunky-dory chicky-dory?
529
00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:28,613
Hey.
530
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:30,146
Huh?
531
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:31,874
Hey-hey, I am serious here,
you know?
532
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,712
This may be a big joke to you,
533
00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:35,547
but this is my life
we're talking about.
534
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:36,676
All right, all right.
535
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:38,687
So I was a lousy father,
all right?
536
00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:40,655
So I fooled around,
I went to the track,
537
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:42,453
I went to the pool hall.
538
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:45,427
You know what hurt me?
539
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:49,227
Is that you just
forgot about me.
540
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:52,269
I never forgot you, Nick.
541
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:55,635
I followed everything
you ever did.
542
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:59,335
I went to every one of your art
shows when you weren't there,
543
00:22:59,478 --> 00:23:03,312
because I didn't think
you wanted to see me.
544
00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:04,813
You did that?
545
00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:07,077
Yeah.
546
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:09,949
You remember the first painting
you ever sold?
547
00:23:10,088 --> 00:23:11,077
Yeah, sure.
548
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,622
Uh, Woman With
Half- Eaten Burger.
549
00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:13,747
Yeah.
550
00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:18,191
Yeah, it's hanging
in my living room.
551
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:19,854
- You bought it?
- Yeah.
552
00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:22,626
I went home last night
after you came to the lot,
553
00:23:22,768 --> 00:23:24,429
and I'm looking at it.
554
00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:28,005
And I realized,
unless I work things out,
555
00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:30,734
that would be the only thing
I ever have of you.
556
00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:34,541
Nicky, I want to start again.
557
00:23:34,679 --> 00:23:37,671
But I want to start right
this time.
558
00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,583
I want that, too.
559
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,814
How about we go out
for some fish and talk?
560
00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:48,392
I mean, really talk.
561
00:23:48,527 --> 00:23:50,358
Yeah, I'd like that.
562
00:23:50,495 --> 00:23:55,057
By the way, I still got
that check for your school.
563
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,930
And this time,
you're going to take it.
564
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:02,563
How can I say no... Dad?
565
00:24:02,707 --> 00:24:05,039
Yeah. Ah.
566
00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:36,300
MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
567
00:24:36,441 --> 00:24:37,567
(Ubu barks)
568
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:47,500
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