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♪ ♪
2
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:13,068
(no voice)
3
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:18,708
♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
4
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:24,381
♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
5
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,822
♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
6
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,622
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
7
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:34,860
♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
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♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:46,173
♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
10
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:52,251
♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
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00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:57,448
♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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Ripped By mstoll
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(TV playing indistinctly)
14
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Come on, Alex,
can't you give us a hand?
15
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- (turns off TV)
- Sorry, Mom,
16
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:14,863
it just seems kind of silly
17
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,566
to clean up
before company comes.
18
00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:18,199
I mean, it's just
gonna get messy again.
19
00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:20,471
Come on, your cousin June hasn't
been here in three years.
20
00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:22,205
I don't want her coming
into a messy house.
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00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:26,307
Why? It was messy when she left.
22
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,512
I just got off the phone
with Jennifer.
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00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,885
She's still at Adam's house
doing the science project.
24
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,457
She said she'll be here soon.
25
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,116
I wonder what's taking
them so long.
26
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,852
They should've finished
that science project by now.
27
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:38,657
Yeah, well, they're trying
to get fruit flies to mate
28
00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,857
and it's taking longer
than they thought.
29
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,195
You know, I'm a little
offended by that project.
30
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:44,667
I mean, I think
Jennifer should learn
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00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:48,171
about fruit flies
on the street like I did.
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00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,299
I wish she'd hurry
because your father and June
33
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,468
should be back from the airport
any minute now.
34
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,944
They probably stopped off for
a good ol' American hamburger.
35
00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:57,413
You know, that English food's
pretty disgusting.
36
00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:59,643
That's a very narrow view, Alex.
37
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,980
Just because English food
is different than ours
38
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,349
doesn't mean it's terrible.
39
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,252
Come on, Ma, how would you
characterize a place
40
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:08,156
that serves ox tails
and kidney pies for breakfast?
41
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,455
Disgusting. (laughs)
42
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,224
I mean "different," hey.
43
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:13,992
I'm so excited
that June's coming.
44
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,898
I can't imagine what it's like
to study in England.
45
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:20,130
You don't even know what it's
like to study in America.
46
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,797
- Hey, look who's here.
- Hi, hi!
47
00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:24,432
- Hi, June, hi! - Hi. How are you?
- Hey.
48
00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:25,566
There she is.
49
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:26,940
- Hi, June.
- Hi.
50
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,378
Sorry, we're late...
we stopped off for hamburgers.
51
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,882
Yeah, I couldn't wait...
English food is disgusting.
52
00:02:32,018 --> 00:02:33,713
Nah, it's just different.
53
00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:35,081
June, you look great.
Come on.
54
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,485
Oh, thanks.
All you do, too.
55
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,615
The baby. Oh.
56
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:42,788
- Is that Andrew?
- Yeah.
57
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,897
Hi.
58
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:46,623
Oh, he's so cute.
59
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,791
- Where's Jennifer?
- Oh, she'll be here soon.
60
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,368
She's at her boyfriend's
house studying.
61
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:51,993
Oh, I'm so excited you're here.
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00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:53,435
Oh, are you kidding?
63
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,473
You think I'd miss a chance
to brag all about my trip?
64
00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:57,200
Well, sit down and brag.
65
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,776
Come on, what was London like?
66
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,107
Yeah, did you take advantage
of the strong dollar?
67
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,339
Did you meet the queen?
68
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,642
Yeah, I love monarchies.
69
00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:05,614
Hey, come on, come on,
give her a chance to answer.
70
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,014
Thank you, Steven.
71
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:08,415
Uh, I brought some pictures
72
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,420
and I'm anxious to tell you
all about my trip.
73
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:11,990
ELYSE: Great, we want
to hear all about it.
74
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,855
Well, a lot of things happened
in three years.
75
00:03:14,994 --> 00:03:17,861
Mm, you're telling us.
76
00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:19,259
I don't know where to start.
77
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:20,923
Well, how about the boys?
78
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,627
Well, I did meet
a couple of cute boys.
79
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:27,331
And I got their pictures
right here.
80
00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:30,101
I knew it. Did you date any
princes or dukes or anything?
81
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,473
- No, just commoners.
- Oh.
82
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:33,874
You know, it's funny.
83
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:36,777
When I got to England, I wasn't
that interested in boys,
84
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:39,407
but, uh, now they're
not so bad, you know?
85
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,452
Thanks, we try.
86
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,078
Well, I guess
we're all changing.
87
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,350
I mean, here we are...
88
00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,322
and Jennifer's out with a boy.
89
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:48,586
(sighs)
90
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,286
I guess she's really
growing up, huh?
91
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:53,729
Well... yes and no.
92
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,710
Jennifer!
93
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:10,145
Good evening, Scott.
I thought I'd join you.
94
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:14,777
Mallory! How nice to see you.
95
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:19,985
Hi, Jen.
96
00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:21,991
Jennifer, why are you dressed
this way?
97
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,596
I'm a woman
of many moods, Scott...
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00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,824
young and playful one moment,
99
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:31,630
sophisticated
and deadly serious the next.
100
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:37,266
Hey!
101
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,071
Uh...
102
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,237
Jennifer,
this is a table for two.
103
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,440
I'm sure you can make room
for your sister.
104
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:44,709
Well, Scott,
105
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,113
what do you recommend?
106
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:48,345
The last time I was here,
I found the pizza with bologna
107
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:51,286
very much to my liking.
108
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,255
Shall I go for it again?
109
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:54,860
I don't get it...
is this a joke or something?
110
00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:59,431
I'm deadly serious, Scott,
pizza with bologna or not?
111
00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:01,055
Jen, we already ordered.
112
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,065
Mallory,
Scott needs his strength.
113
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:06,228
He has "mormons" coursing
through his veins.
114
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:13,038
What?
115
00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:16,546
They'll be no talking about
baseball tonight, Scott.
116
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:20,380
Know what I mean?
117
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,147
Not really.
118
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:25,280
You'll find tonight that I can
be as soft as the next girl.
119
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:29,191
Buy you a drink?
120
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,819
MALLORY: Uh...
121
00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:34,057
All right, Jen, uh,
come here for a minute.
122
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,498
Mallory, you're making
a spectacle of yourself.
123
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:39,264
Hey, listen, I think we ought
to take you home now.
124
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:40,770
I don't need you
to take me home.
125
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:44,900
- Jennifer...
- Stop...
126
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:46,409
Are you okay, little girl?
127
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I'm fine,
and I'm not a little girl.
128
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,440
Waiter, my bike.
129
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,949
Yeah,
she was really embarrassed.
130
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,355
Ah, poor kid.
131
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,359
I had to convince her that
making a fool out of yourself
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00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,589
is part of life
when you're growing up.
133
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:08,860
It's even part of life
after you've grown up.
134
00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:10,366
Yeah, I know I matured a lot
over the years.
135
00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:11,367
When I think back...
136
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:12,732
MALLORY:
Uh, June, why don't you
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00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,363
just show us the pictures
and tell us about your trip?
138
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,170
Let's face it, I mean,
maturity and I are no strangers.
139
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,245
Alex, who are you kidding?
I'm the mature one.
140
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,177
- You? You don't even know...
- Oh, come on, guys.
141
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,748
June's trying to tell us
about her trip.
142
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:24,872
- MALLORY: Right.
- Sorry.
143
00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:26,541
Anyway, the more I was
144
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,586
on my own, I found that...
145
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,313
I think Mom and Dad know that
they don't have to worry about
146
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:33,220
my being responsible
even when they're not home.
147
00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:35,190
That's because I'm in charge
when they're not home.
148
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,695
Oh, yeah, and he always does
a great job.
149
00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:41,163
So, uh,
nobody else is home, then?
150
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:45,031
Nope, just you and me.
151
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,105
Maybe I should leave.
152
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,231
I don't think so.
153
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,040
Mallory.
154
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:54,373
I made her do it, Alex...
I'm an animal.
155
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,812
I don't deserve to live.
156
00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,849
Where's Jennifer?
157
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,179
I thought she was with you.
158
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:01,343
I got caught up in the moment.
159
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,182
I-I couldn't control myself.
160
00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:04,289
Jeff.
161
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,516
I'm not usually like this
162
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,455
but when I'm around Mallory,
I go crazy.
163
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:11,051
Jeff, calm down,
we've got other problems here.
164
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,824
I lost Jennifer.
165
00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:14,762
I thought you took her
to the card game with you!
166
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:18,029
I-I did, but-but while I was
playing, she just wandered off.
167
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,468
Oh, no.
168
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:22,165
Mom and Dad came to
the card game to get her.
169
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:23,434
Oh, no.
170
00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:24,702
They're right behind me.
171
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:28,211
I had to drive on the sidewalk
to beat them home.
172
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:31,214
Maybe Jennifer came home
and she's upstairs sleeping.
173
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:32,317
I hope you're right.
174
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,283
I'll look.
175
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:38,880
Um, I kind of told my parents
that Jennifer was with you,
176
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,619
so I'd appreciate it
if-if you'd...
177
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:42,750
Lie.
178
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:44,829
That about says it, yeah.
179
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,363
Sure, Alex, if you want me to.
180
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,490
Look, if Jennifer's not home,
181
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:49,999
maybe you and I should
go look for her.
182
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,194
We both got cars.
183
00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:53,134
Good idea.
184
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,638
Jeff, thank you
for your support.
185
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:56,764
I'm glad you're here.
186
00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:58,877
Not at all.
187
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:07,684
Well,
you're certainly not the two
188
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,345
I expected to see on the couch.
189
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,323
Yeah, that was
real responsible, Alex.
190
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:14,926
Losing Jennifer in a card game?
191
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,461
I had a straight flush...
I mean, what would you do?
192
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:21,089
All right, okay,
I got a little carried away.
193
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:24,635
I believe June was trying
to tell us about her trip.
194
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,635
What trip?
195
00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:28,831
Oh, right, right, well.
196
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:32,877
Well, the second day I was
there, I met this terrific guy.
197
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,946
I've got his picture
right here, he's so...
198
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,412
ALEX:
Okay, all right, I admit
199
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,642
I should've been thinking
a little more about Jennifer,
200
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,217
but it was a momentary lapse.
201
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,117
I mean, I matured
a lot since then.
202
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:44,746
In fact,
in some ways I'm so mature
203
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,826
that I've outgrown
a lot of people my own age.
204
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,860
You've been wondering
about my age all evening,
205
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,054
haven't you, Alex?
206
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,427
Oh, no, your age?
207
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:56,399
No, your age never-never
entered my mind.
208
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,800
How old do you think I am?
209
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,133
Oh, I don't know, uh...
210
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,798
I'd say...
211
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:06,810
about (mumbles) years old.
212
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:09,744
I'll be 40 in July.
213
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:13,751
I'll be 29 in March.
214
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,754
My, my...
and still in high school.
215
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,087
Well, I'm a veteran, you know.
216
00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:24,923
Okay, I'm-I'm 17.
217
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,259
But they've been 17
very full years.
218
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,458
Alex,
219
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:31,365
chronological age means nothing
to me.
220
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,598
I like that in a woman.
221
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:35,934
Hey, you want to dance?
222
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,066
I thought you'd never ask.
223
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,305
(upbeat music playing)
224
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,714
Hey, you're good.
225
00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:51,550
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.
226
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,682
No, thank you.
227
00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:06,099
(Steven clears throat)
228
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,536
Oh, Mom, Dad.
229
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:11,336
Alex, uh, where's your, um...
230
00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:13,536
Uh, uh, I-I mean is...
231
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,204
Is this your...
232
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,340
Who's this?
233
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:24,289
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.
234
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:28,359
Mom, Dad, this is,
uh, Lorraine Ferrar.
235
00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:30,018
My date.
236
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:33,928
(through her teeth):
She's his date, Steven.
237
00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:35,192
Hello.
238
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:38,770
Yes, it-it certainly is nice
to meet you.
239
00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:40,872
Yes, I'll say.
240
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:45,034
Hey, hey,
you kids want to dance?
241
00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,235
We'll just roll back the rug.
242
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,243
Nope.
243
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,007
I don't think so.
244
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:52,208
Do you think so, Steven?
245
00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:53,682
Are you talking to me?
246
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:57,880
Oh, no, uh, no,
uh, no, no-no dancing for us.
247
00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:02,586
(groaning): No, no, um...
248
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:05,390
Good night.
249
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:07,522
Yeah, that's good.
250
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,259
Good night.
251
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:11,928
Good night.
252
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:14,062
(music continues)
253
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,035
What ever happened
to Lorraine, Alex?
254
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:49,335
Ah, Lorraine and I kind
of lost track of each other.
255
00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:50,601
Maybe I should give her a call.
256
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:52,506
BOTH: Forget it, Alex.
257
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:53,509
(phone rings)
258
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,671
Ah, that could be her now.
259
00:11:56,982 --> 00:11:58,381
Hello?
260
00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:00,951
Oh, yes, Jennifer, June's here.
261
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,281
Uh...
262
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,355
All right, I see.
All right.
263
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:05,514
I'll tell her.
264
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,920
Bye-bye.
265
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,390
That was Jennifer.
266
00:12:08,527 --> 00:12:09,960
She sends you her best, June.
267
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,859
She'll be here
just as soon as she can.
268
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,124
Apparently the female fruit fly
is not in the mood.
269
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:15,631
What are they going to do,
270
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,328
put on some
Johnny Mathis records?
271
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,530
Chances are.
272
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,641
Look, June, why don't you
show us some more pictures?
273
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:26,438
Well, I do have some
beautiful shots of Florence.
274
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,773
Florence who?
275
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,177
Mallory, Florence is a city
in Italy.
276
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,181
It's not a person.
277
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,218
Actually, Alex,
Florence is a person.
278
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,548
Florence Weldon.
279
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:40,022
See, Alex,
Florence is not a city in Italy.
280
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,649
Florence and I went to Paris,
281
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:43,853
and we stayed in this
really cute bed-and-breakfast.
282
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,623
What's a bed-and-breakfast?
283
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,665
A bed is something you sleep in.
284
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,667
Breakfast is something
you have in the morning.
285
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,430
It's like a small hotel, Mal.
286
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:54,903
In Europe, a lot of people
rent out rooms in their houses.
287
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,439
Oh, we were there
during the tourist season,
288
00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:58,167
so, I mean, it got pretty wild.
289
00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:00,141
Some nights, we had 50 people
staying in the house.
290
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,803
Whoa.
291
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,915
I guess that doesn't happen
too much here in Ohio.
292
00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:06,483
Oh, I don't know about that.
293
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,288
I hope you don't mind.
I invited a few people.
294
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:12,117
Uh, mind?
As a matter of fact...
295
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,249
(excited chattering)
296
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:18,653
All right, okay.
297
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,500
Hey, what are you doing?
298
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,400
We did it. We captured
the other team's mascot.
299
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,939
We got the Crawford Kangaroo.
300
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:30,564
(cheering)
301
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:35,239
Uh...
302
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,246
SKIPPY:
Can you believe this?
303
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,442
They captured
the Crawford Kangaroo.
304
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,679
This is a day
we will never forget.
305
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,813
I'm home.
306
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,089
Hi, Dad.
307
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:53,459
How was your trip?
308
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:57,000
It's so nice to see you.
309
00:13:57,136 --> 00:14:00,970
What is going on here?
310
00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:02,505
Now, Dad, uh...
311
00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:05,872
don't go jumping
to any conclusions.
312
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,876
- (cheering)
- Whoa!
313
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,743
Alex, (sighs)
314
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:12,976
Parents are conditioned
to accept a...
315
00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:16,417
a-a few, uh, minor problems
316
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:19,388
when they leave
their children alone at home...
317
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,652
spilled milk on the rug,
318
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:25,321
a broken dish.
319
00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:30,094
There was a kangaroo
320
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,568
in my living room.
321
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:38,137
It was just here
for the party, Dad.
322
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:44,739
Then I guess I'm overreacting.
323
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:49,153
Dad, if you just give us
a chance,
324
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,085
we can explain everything.
325
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,521
Oh, can you?
326
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,650
Can you explain
327
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:58,627
the valet parking
in the driveway?
328
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,127
The flashing vacancy sign
329
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,136
in front of the house?
330
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:09,241
The billboard on Route 41?
331
00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:16,204
Look, Dad, I just,
332
00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:17,940
I-I just lost my head,
you know?
333
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,551
When the... when the money
started rolling in,
334
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,051
I got out of control.
335
00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:23,620
I-I could smell it.
336
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,223
I could taste it.
337
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,518
I could hear it,
calling me at night,
338
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:32,063
saying, "Alex,
at last we'll be together."
339
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,762
Dad, I-I guess
you could just say
340
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:41,839
that I-I kind of became
a... a money-holic.
341
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:46,772
Dad, I need help.
342
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,981
Dad, uh,
343
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,483
you left me in charge,
344
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,088
and I let you down
in every possible way.
345
00:15:57,222 --> 00:15:58,689
I was immature,
346
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:00,758
I was irresponsible,
347
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,326
and, uh, and I was greedy.
348
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,452
I'm sorry.
349
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,095
(groans)
350
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:26,980
He's coming around.
351
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:29,849
For months Steven would wake up
in the middle of the night
352
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,321
screaming about kangaroos.
353
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,789
Well, Pop,
354
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,019
I-I bet you look back
355
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,254
on that whole incident now
and laugh.
356
00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:39,591
(Alex chuckles)
357
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:42,957
(groans)
358
00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:47,035
Uh, I think we've all
359
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,367
become a lot more responsible
since then.
360
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,671
It's because your father and I
have set such a good example.
361
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:53,903
Yes, we've taught you
362
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:57,675
to think clearly
and rationally before you act.
363
00:16:57,816 --> 00:17:01,081
I'm Ruben Tedesco.
364
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:04,246
Your children call me
Mr. Tedesco.
365
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,858
I think you should, too.
366
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:11,118
I teach European literature.
367
00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:13,231
If you don't belong
in this classroom, don't worry.
368
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,697
Neither do most
of your children.
369
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,033
I'd like to make this
an open forum.
370
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:22,436
I'll answer any intelligent
questions you may have.
371
00:17:22,574 --> 00:17:25,008
- Well, I was wondering...
- Hands please.
372
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:27,135
Yes, the lady in the front row.
373
00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,940
- Mr. Tedesco...
- Not you.
374
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:31,606
The one next to you,
the old bag.
375
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,741
(gasping)
376
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,084
Why do you give out
so much homework?
377
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,690
I said intelligent questions.
378
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:40,951
Next.
379
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,583
Yes, you.
380
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,253
My son, he says you pick on him.
381
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,921
You call him names.
382
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:47,862
Who's your son?
383
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,433
Larry Morgan.
384
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,365
Larry the Loser?
385
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:56,606
Madame, your son
is an insipid pimple-faced liar.
386
00:17:58,510 --> 00:17:59,875
Anyone else?
387
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,105
Please identify yourself.
388
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,010
I'm Mrs. Binney.
389
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:05,411
My daughter, Mindy,
390
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,746
so enjoyed reading
The Little Prince.
391
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:11,947
Is there anything else
you'd recommend for her?
392
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,753
Yes, I'd recommend
she lose 40 pounds.
393
00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,862
You could lose 30 yourself.
Next?
394
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,392
My, my,
such an inquisitive bunch.
395
00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:26,026
I have something to say.
396
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,399
Mr. Tedesco,
397
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,268
I think you owe Mrs. Binney
398
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,273
and everyone else in here
an apology.
399
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,638
ALL:
Yes.
400
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,941
You-you've been terribly rude
and insulting to us all.
401
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:37,105
(overlapping chatter)
402
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,716
Mrs. Keaton,
it's clear that your son
403
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,183
does not get his intelligence
from you.
404
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,584
If you feel
I'm being insulting, fine.
405
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:46,054
I won't insult anyone anymore.
406
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:47,920
This little get-together
is over.
407
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,254
I'm leaving.
408
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,385
(angry chatter)
409
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,996
Sorry, the game is over.
Let me through.
410
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,658
Don't push me.
411
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,236
- Move it, Grandma.
- (gasping)
412
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:00,531
You can't do that.
413
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:02,435
Who's gonna stop me?
414
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,807
I came to apologize
for my wife's behavior.
415
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,349
She feels terrible
about the whole thing.
416
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:15,919
She's really sorry.
417
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:17,021
We both are.
418
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,714
I could sue, you know.
419
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:20,415
Look, uh, look,
420
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:23,221
let-let-let-let's try
to gain some perspective
421
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,159
on the situation here.
422
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:28,460
Uh, haven't you ever done
something without thinking,
423
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,534
something you regretted later?
424
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,534
Yes, I showed up
for parents' night.
425
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,799
Look, look, I know you're upset
and you have every right to be.
426
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:39,775
But you're obviously a very
intelligent, civilized person
427
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:43,370
who can recognize
this incident for what it is.
428
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:47,317
An aberration.
429
00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:50,080
And I hope
you'll forgive and forget.
430
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:52,918
Fortunately, Mr. Keaton,
431
00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:56,494
your son inherited
your rational temperament.
432
00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,061
For his sake,
433
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,360
I will allow myself
to be appeased by your words.
434
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,162
I am nothing if not civilized.
435
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:05,395
Well,
436
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,164
I can see that.
437
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:09,934
Your wife, however,
is an Amazon.
438
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,879
Part Irish, part French,
no Amazon.
439
00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:17,447
You know what I mean, Keaton.
440
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,778
She's primal.
441
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:21,510
Not fully evolved.
442
00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:25,054
You must have a tough time
keeping her in line.
443
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:26,214
Tell me,
444
00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:30,317
do whips ever enter the picture?
445
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,635
I think I'll be going now.
446
00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:39,737
No, I'm curious,
what's it like to live
447
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:43,170
with that kind
of unbridled she-devil?
448
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,804
Good-bye, Mr. Tedesco.
449
00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:48,310
No wait, just one more question.
450
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:51,109
Does she ever, uh...
451
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,184
- (laughs)
- Why, you...
452
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,886
Now, now, June,
I don't want you to get the idea
453
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,652
that-that we condone violence.
454
00:21:01,793 --> 00:21:03,351
No, no, not at all.
455
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:04,894
Yeah, just don't make
any sudden moves.
456
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,497
- You'll be all right.
- (baby crying)
457
00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:08,259
Oh, Andy.
458
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,799
What's wrong, honey?
459
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,232
We've been doing
all the talking.
460
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:12,701
I guess he feels left out.
461
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,204
I know how he feels.
462
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:16,705
You know, if Andrew could talk,
463
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:18,935
I bet he'd have a story
or two to tell you.
464
00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:22,945
Hey, your wife's on television.
465
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:25,140
- She looks great.
- ♪ Thou wilt still be adored ♪
466
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,410
STEVEN: She sure does.
467
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:29,384
♪ As this moment thou art ♪
468
00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:35,983
♪ Let thy loveliness fade
as it will ♪
469
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,096
This is my favorite part.
470
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,323
Wait till you hear the way
she hits this one note.
471
00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:42,956
Each beat of my... ♪
472
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:44,466
(shrieks) Oh! Oh!
473
00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:46,537
Wow, she really nailed it
that time.
474
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:48,572
(shrieking continues)
475
00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:50,299
STEVEN: Don't stop, Elyse.
476
00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:51,534
Why did she stop?
477
00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:52,735
- (phones ringing on TV)
- I'm sorry.
478
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:54,903
I think I'm going into labor.
479
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,810
Oh, well,
that-that explains it.
480
00:21:56,948 --> 00:21:59,007
Labor?
481
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,482
Steven, are you watching?
482
00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:01,916
Of course I am.
483
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,522
This is it.
484
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:07,147
Uh, Steven, if you're watching,
meet me at the hospital.
485
00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:09,283
Elyse, I'll be there
in 15 minutes.
486
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:11,396
Be there in ten minutes.
487
00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:13,122
Ten minutes,
and I'll get your suitcase.
488
00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:15,130
And don't forget my suitcase.
489
00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:17,258
Stop nagging. I'm coming.
490
00:22:18,603 --> 00:22:19,934
- Steven!
- Come on, Dad.
491
00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:21,096
- Come on, Dad. - Go!
492
00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:22,797
- Hurry.
- ELYSE: Steven!
493
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:25,671
Okay, now,
let's give June a chance.
494
00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:27,642
We've been doing
all the talking ourselves.
495
00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:30,077
Yeah, I really do want
to see what London looks like.
496
00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:32,080
Oh, well, it's pretty much
what you would expect,
497
00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:34,549
except that people drive
on the wrong side of the street.
498
00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:36,244
Hey, Mal, you'd fit right in.
499
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,654
June, we're all going
to be quiet now,
500
00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:41,622
so you can tell us
about your trip.
501
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,749
- Yes.
- Go ahead.
502
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:45,294
Well, okay,
503
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:46,624
when I first got to London,
504
00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:48,357
- it was really foggy.
- Hi, June.
505
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:49,933
- STEVEN: Hi, honey.
- Jennifer, hi.
506
00:22:50,068 --> 00:22:51,262
It's nice to see you.
507
00:22:51,403 --> 00:22:52,927
Oh, it's good to see you, too.
508
00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:54,299
Well, you look great.
509
00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:55,838
Oh, so do you.
510
00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:57,874
Did I miss much about your trip?
511
00:22:58,009 --> 00:23:00,705
Oh, no, not a word.
512
00:23:00,846 --> 00:23:02,677
Well, I want to hear everything.
513
00:23:02,814 --> 00:23:03,781
Okay.
514
00:23:03,915 --> 00:23:05,439
Okay, now,
no more interruptions.
515
00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:08,109
Well, anyway, as I was saying,
516
00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:11,313
when I first got there,
I met this really terrific guy.
517
00:23:11,456 --> 00:23:13,253
Oh, well, you should meet
this guy Adam.
518
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,121
He's really smart
and cute and funny.
519
00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:16,420
Jennifer, Jennifer,
520
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:18,222
we don't want to hear
about it, okay?
521
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:19,591
I want to hear about
Margaret Thatcher.
522
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:21,892
By the way, how did...
how did Adam do with the...
523
00:23:22,033 --> 00:23:24,092
(everyone talking at once)
524
00:23:54,866 --> 00:23:56,458
MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
525
00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:57,795
(Ubu barks)
526
00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:07,500
Ripped By mstoll
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