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♪ ♪
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00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:13,346
(no voice)
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♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
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00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:24,557
♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
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00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:27,093
♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
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00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,896
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
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♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
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♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:52,385
♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
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00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:57,590
♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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Ripped By mstoll
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Oh, I love it.
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This is going to be great.
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Okay, you can let it down now.
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Are you sure every brother
does this for his sister?
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Absolutely.
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Did Alex do it for you?
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He wanted to, but he just
wasn't right for it.
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How come?
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Well...
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Alex has a weird body.
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It's like his head is too big
for the rest of him.
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Maybe the rest of him
is just too small.
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That's probably it.
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Ah, what the heck is this?
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Calm down, Alex.
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Andy's just helping me
hem a skirt. It's no big deal.
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00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:51,211
No big deal? Mal, he is a
healthy, happy six-year-old boy.
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He should not be standing
on a counter in-in a dress.
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Especially not this dress.
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The color's all wrong for him.
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You wish you could be
standing up here, Alex,
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but you can't
because your body's weird.
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00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:07,494
(quietly):
What?
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00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:09,896
Andy, honey, why don't you
go outside and play?
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Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
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What-what do... what do
you mean, my body is weird?
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You got a big head...
ask Mallory.
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Did you tell him that?
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Alex, leave me alone.
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She said that the rest
of your body is too small.
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You said that.
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I have got a perfect body, okay?
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And you cannot beat my head.
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They make a phenomenal set.
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Fine, Alex, whatever you say.
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Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait...
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Is there something wrong
with my head?
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I mean, tell me,
because I would like to know.
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00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:47,066
Alex, it's no big deal.
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00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:48,268
You've just got the little...
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Elmer Fudd thing working
for you, that's all.
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Elmer Fudd?
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I'm getting out of here.
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Wait, Elmer Fudd...
what does Elmer Fudd...
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He asked me whether or not
you had done this...
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00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:02,582
Hi, guys.
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00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,484
Jen, what's the matter with you?
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00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:05,485
You look miserable.
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00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:06,519
You really do.
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00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,121
Jen, you look awful.
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00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,623
But before we discuss that,
let me ask you something.
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00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:12,892
Is there something wrong
with my head?
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Does Easter Island
mean anything to you?
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(groans)
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What's the matter, Jen?
What's wrong?
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This might be the worst day
of my school career.
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00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,468
Why? What happened?
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I had to do a book report
for my English class.
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(gasps)
Jen, I'm so sorry.
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No, the problem
is I wanted to do my report
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on Huckleberry Finn.
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You're in luck, Jen.
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I did a paper on that.
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00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:37,314
No, Mal, that was
Huckleberry Hound.
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00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,848
- Oh, that's right, right.
- See?
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00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,992
I found out in school today
that Huckleberry Finn
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is not on the school's
accepted reading list.
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It's banned.
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Banned?
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What... come on, that's absurd.
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Wh-When did this happen?
84
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,502
Well, it's a new policy...
it just went into effect.
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00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:59,739
Well, I wish they banned books
when I was in high school.
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00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,709
They start everything good
after I leave.
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00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,944
How... how can they ban
Huckleberry Finn?
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00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:07,080
I mean, every kid reads
Huck Finn.
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00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,581
It's the great American novel.
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00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,484
It symbolizes the unrest
and ferment of the country
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00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,753
as the... as the Western
Frontier was coming to a close
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00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,055
and we as a nation were forced
to confront the issues
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00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:19,092
of... of racism, slavery
and industrialism.
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00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:22,695
Oh, maybe I didn't read it.
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Who decided this?
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The Leland Heights School Board.
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They gave me this letter
to take home
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00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,035
and a packet
of information about it.
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00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:32,338
Oh, Jen, if you're lucky,
they'll ban this packet, too.
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Looks pretty deadly.
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00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,141
- Hi, guys.
- Hey!
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00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,542
Mom, Dad, I'm glad you're here.
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00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,311
I've got something to tell you,
and I don't think
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00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:39,412
you're going to like it.
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00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:41,714
The greeting
all parents yearn for.
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00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:43,016
Should we sit down?
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00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,584
It's something that happened
at school today.
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00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,185
Jen, listen, break it
to them easy, okay?
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00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:48,054
Just remember, they're liberals.
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00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:51,080
They could
spontaneously combust.
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00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:54,093
Alex is right.
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00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:56,195
I know how upset you guys get
about these things.
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00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:57,630
Well, what is it, honey?
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00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:00,767
I wanted to do a book report
on Huckleberry Finn.
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00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,735
All right.
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00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:06,034
But don't let it happen again.
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00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,809
I can't.
Huckleberry Finn is banned.
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Banned?
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00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,745
That's ridic...
what are you talking about?
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00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:14,414
Okay, okay, just take it easy.
121
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:17,517
Don't stage a sit-in
or anything.
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00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,552
I knew the school board's
been talking about this,
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00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:21,421
but I never dreamed
they'd dare to do it.
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00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,588
This is amazing.
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00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:24,590
If we lived two miles
down the road
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00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:27,560
in the Columbus School District,
this wouldn't be a problem.
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00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,653
We'd be closer to the mall, too.
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00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,333
Was there any discussion
about this at school?
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00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,834
Or is everyone
just going to stand there
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00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:35,968
and allow this to happen?
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00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:37,337
Wh-What about
your English teacher?
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00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,839
Well, Mr. Flaherty is just
as upset about this as I am,
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00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,108
but he said there's nothing
that can be done about it.
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00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:44,610
Uh, no, there's no way
we are going to let this happen.
135
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,879
This is completely wrong.
136
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,915
I totally agree with you, Dad...
we've got to fight this.
137
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:51,184
Oh, absolutely, this is
a disgrace to the community,
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00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,584
to the state, to the country.
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00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,950
Do I have a big head?
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00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,629
"I hadn't had a bite to eat
since yesterday,
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00:06:03,629 --> 00:06:07,533
"so Jim, he got out some
corn dodgers and buttermilk,
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00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:10,436
"and pork and cabbage
and greens.
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00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,338
"There ain't nothing
in the world so good
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00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:14,073
"when it's cooked right.
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00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:17,677
"And whilst I eat my supper,
we talked and had a good time.
146
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:20,179
"I was powerful glad to get away
from the feuds,
147
00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:23,349
"and so was Jim to get away
from the swamp.
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00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:28,087
We said, 'There warn't no home
like a raft, after all."
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00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:29,622
Hmm.
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00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,224
With those stockings?
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00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,659
I'm going to die.
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00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:35,728
Mallory, please, your dad's
reading from a great piece
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of American literature.
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00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:39,599
Oh, I know, I know.
I-I'm listening.
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00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:43,970
Um... they're
on a cruise, right?
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Not exactly a cruise.
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00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:46,839
They're on a raft,
floating down the Mississippi.
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00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,976
It's a... yeah,
it's a great story.
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00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,778
I'll be right with you.
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00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:55,815
I'm sorry, my family keeps
interrupting. Go on.
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00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:58,651
You know, I used to love
that book when I was a kid.
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I, uh...
I'd always imagine myself
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00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:01,854
in Huck's place, you know?
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00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:05,625
Lying out there in the river
at night, free as can be.
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00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:09,228
Only, uh, well, mine...
mine wasn't a raft.
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It was a cabin cruiser.
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Complete wet bar,
satellite dish.
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Hot tub.
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00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:24,410
I don't know...
I still like Twain's version.
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To each his own, Pop.
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All right, I'm off the phone.
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I'm ready to talk
about the book.
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00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:31,117
(phone rings)
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That's probably for me.
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00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,887
Hello? Hi.
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00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:37,023
I can't believe the Leland
Heights Board of Education
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finds all these books
unacceptable.
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00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,461
Here, uh... Catcher in the Rye,Grapes of Wrath,
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Slaughterhouse-Five?
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00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,230
That's preposterous.
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00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,199
I mean, what books can you read?
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00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,100
Well, we're down
to Babar Goes to Holland
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00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,237
and The Yogi Berra Story.
184
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:52,405
Well, this is infuriating.
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00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,106
Every one of these books
is a classic.
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00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:55,775
I mean, how can they
justify that?
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00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:58,611
Well, the argument is that the
books contain explicit language
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00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,680
or, uh... or offensive imagery
189
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,216
that's unacceptable
for pre-college students.
190
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:07,920
The irony is that in Isl and Tree
School District v. Pico,
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00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,891
Justice Brennan said, "No local
school board shall remove books
192
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:13,726
"from school library shelves
simply because
193
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:16,362
"they dislike the ideas
contained in those books,
194
00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:19,665
"nor by their removal seek to
prescribe what shall be orthodox
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00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,601
"in politics,
nationalism, religion
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00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,398
and other matters of opinion."
197
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:30,343
How did you know that?
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00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,334
I know everything.
199
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,516
Alex, I've got to admit,
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00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,452
I'm surprised you're
on our side in this issue.
201
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,820
To think that book banning
202
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,356
is actually bringing us
closer together.
203
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,525
(laughs)
Well, Dad, I-I...
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00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,193
I do enjoy keeping you
on your toes.
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00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,095
But, uh, basically, I agree
206
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,264
with John Stuart Mill's
philosophy
207
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,633
that a free flow of ideas
and-and information
208
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,468
is essential to keeping alive
the spirit
209
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,737
of a... of a libertarian
and utilitarian vision
210
00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:59,338
flourishing against
the oppressive weight
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00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,363
of ignorance
and totalitarianism.
212
00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:12,051
Did you swallow
a dictionary recently?
213
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,520
I'm just saying that regardless
of the contents of a book,
214
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,422
I believe that we have to
preserve the rights
215
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,257
of freedom of thought
and freedom of speech
216
00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:20,393
for every American citizen.
217
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:23,796
A straight lettuce diet?
That's wild.
218
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:27,600
With certain obvious exceptions.
219
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,769
I think the books on this list
are just the kind of things
220
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,203
high school students
should be reading.
221
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:32,738
I mean, they're provocative,
they're insightful,
222
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,040
they make you think.
223
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,641
I mean, what's wrong with that?
224
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:39,145
The problem the school board has
with the book
225
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,947
is that Huck's best friend
226
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:43,683
is sometimes referred to
as N***** Jim.
227
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,551
Now, look,
that's definitely offensive,
228
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,219
but it shouldn't
be taken out of context.
229
00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:49,188
At the time Twain
wrote the book, it was,
230
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:51,290
uh, common usage in Missouri.
231
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,225
The whole point of the story
is how Huck learns
232
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:54,927
that a man's color
is not important
233
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,296
and that everyone deserved
to be free.
234
00:09:57,296 --> 00:09:59,298
Jim is the most noble
character in the book.
235
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:01,767
There are also objections
on religious grounds.
236
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:05,104
Apparently the school board
dislikes the fact that Huck says
237
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,873
he would rather go to hell
than turn Jim back into slavery.
238
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:10,509
That he, in fact, rejects God.
239
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:15,114
Okay, I'm off the phone.
I'm all yours.
240
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,650
Great.
241
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:20,720
Now we get
to the bottom of this.
242
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,154
Well, what
about the other kids, Jen?
243
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:24,190
Or are you the only one
who wants to read
244
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,558
a book that's on this list?
245
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,393
Well, I don't want to do
my report on this book
246
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:28,694
because the book is banned.
247
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,830
I happen to love that book.
248
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,298
Jennifer,
249
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,368
this book
is over 300 pages long,
250
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:38,270
not including pictures.
251
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:41,707
I think it's
a blessing in disguise.
252
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:44,010
Jen, look, if you want to do
your book report on Huck Finn,
253
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,444
then you should do it
on Huck Finn,
254
00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:47,546
and the rest of us
will support you on that, right?
255
00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:49,281
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Definitely. - Okay.
256
00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:51,017
But it's got
to be your decision.
257
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,352
You know, I never thought
reading a book
258
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:55,988
would be something
I'd have to fight for.
259
00:10:55,988 --> 00:11:00,259
You know, uh, Jen, I once had
a brush with censorship myself.
260
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,662
Remember, uh, Elyse,
back in Berkeley?
261
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,398
Huh, 1963?
262
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,433
I wrote an article
for the Berkeley Gazette.
263
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:10,469
"Fluctuating Electoral
Demographics
264
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:13,539
in the 1962 Congressional Race."
265
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:15,341
It was censored?
266
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,709
Oh, yes.
267
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:17,843
On what basis?
268
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,437
Oh, well,
it was incredibly boring.
269
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,983
Well, I mean, "boring"
in the best,
270
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:26,619
most interesting sense
of the word.
271
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,821
Thank you, dear...
that's exactly what you said
272
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,390
on your review at the time.
273
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,092
This is a book report
I want to do,
274
00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:35,528
and it doesn't seem right that I
should be stopped from doing it.
275
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,129
No, it doesn't.
276
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:39,699
Anyway, I don't want
to read The Yogi Berra Story.
277
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,100
And you shouldn't have to.
278
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:44,270
Freedom of speech is guaranteed
in the Constitution,
279
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,972
and-and basically, they're
throwing out the Bill of Rights.
280
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,307
All right.
281
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,176
If we don't take a stand,
who will?
282
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,644
I mean, where will this all end?
283
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,245
STEVEN and ELYSE:
All right.
284
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:54,914
So, basically,
you're going to read the book,
285
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:56,449
do the book report,
286
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,350
risk possible failure
in English,
287
00:11:58,350 --> 00:11:59,952
jeopardize your chances
of getting
288
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:03,055
into any college
other than Grant, and, uh,
289
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,580
become a social outcast
in your own community.
290
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:09,628
I guess so.
291
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:11,619
That's our girl!
292
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,604
When he was 19,
Yogi batted.315, had 103 RBls
293
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:20,406
and was elected
to the all-star team.
294
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,542
It was also during this season
that Yogi told his teammates
295
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,511
that he would one day
become spokesman
296
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,079
for a wonderfully
thirst-quenching
297
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,148
chocolate-flavored drink
called Yoo-hoo.
298
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:31,383
The rest is beverage history.
299
00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:32,407
(class applauds)
300
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:36,522
Well, very nice, Jill.
301
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:40,593
I think we all feel
a little closer to Yogi.
302
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,862
But I think I'd like you
to try something
303
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,030
a little more
challenging next time.
304
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:46,532
Like what?
305
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:48,367
Well, it's just
that your past reports
306
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:49,802
seem to indicate
a certain pattern.
307
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:52,037
I mean, we've had
The Joe Namath Story,
308
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:55,307
The Johnny Bench Story,
The Magic Johnson Story.
309
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:57,143
You should branch out a little.
310
00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,945
Well, I haven't done
anything on hockey.
311
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,936
Sit down, Jill.
312
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:05,818
Jennifer. You ready?
313
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:07,581
I think so.
314
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:15,594
"You don't know about me
without you have read the book
315
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:17,563
"by the name of
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,
316
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:19,799
but that ain't no matter."
317
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:23,169
So began Twain's American
classic, Huckleberry Finn.
318
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:26,005
Jennifer, can I speak
to you for a minute?
319
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,200
Uh, Martin, perhaps you could
begin your paper.
320
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:37,550
Athlete... broadcaster...
321
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,685
soft drink spokesman.
322
00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:43,746
Who is this great American?
Yogi Berra.
323
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:51,363
Jennifer, I thought
I made myself clear on this.
324
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:52,765
You know Huckleberry Finn
325
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,400
isn't on the approved
reading list.
326
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,069
I know, Mr. Flaherty, and I've
given it a lot of thought.
327
00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,405
And I don't approve
of the approved reading list.
328
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:00,806
Well, neither do I!
329
00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:02,675
But I am a teacher
in this school system,
330
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,577
and I have to abide
by those rules.
331
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:07,813
I'm sorry, Mr. Flaherty, but I
really feel strongly about this.
332
00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:09,515
Jennifer, if that's the case,
333
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,384
I have no choice
but to call Dr. Hewitt.
334
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:15,487
Oh, no, not Hewitt the Hun.
335
00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,478
She's going to find out
eventually.
336
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,993
Billy...
337
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:22,895
MARTIN: Yogi lived his life
by his immortal words
338
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:24,864
ever since he was born...
339
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,398
Go to the principal's office.
340
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:27,833
What'd I do?
341
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,668
Nothing.
342
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:31,737
Just go tell Dr. Hewitt
I need to see her.
343
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,505
Hewitt the Hun?
344
00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:36,041
Uh, look, I'm sorry, Jen,
but I got to do what be says.
345
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,838
I'm failing.
346
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:45,951
Jennifer...
I hate to have to do this.
347
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,921
Uh, you understand
the position I'm in.
348
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:51,891
You always told us
to think for ourselves
349
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,993
and to have the courage
of our convictions, and if...
350
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:56,962
and if we really believe
in something, then to act on it.
351
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:59,954
Oh, sure,
throw that one up at me.
352
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:05,204
Have you discussed this
with your parents?
353
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,439
Yes, I have,
and they support me completely.
354
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:12,344
Boy, you Keatons are never far
from controversy, are you?
355
00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:15,781
I remember when Alex tried
to get the school to close
356
00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:18,215
on Ron and Nancy's anniversary.
357
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:22,621
Oh, yeah, yeah,
he-he did stay home that day.
358
00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:25,557
And-and he sent them those
beautiful matching jumpsuits.
359
00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:27,548
(both laugh)
360
00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:31,997
I hope you know
what you're doing, Jennifer.
361
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,933
This is serious business.
362
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,764
(footsteps approaching)
363
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,673
Good afternoon, Mr. Flaherty.
364
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,007
Is there a problem?
365
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:43,409
I'm afraid there is.
366
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,077
Dr. Hewitt,
you know Jennifer Keaton.
367
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:46,912
- Of course.
- She's about to do
368
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,781
her book report
on Huckleberry Finn.
369
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,383
Jennifer, are you aware
that district policy
370
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:54,787
does not allow us to discuss
that book in the classroom?
371
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,778
Yes, I am, Dr. Hun.
372
00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:02,393
Dr. Hewitt. Um...
373
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:09,134
But I don't think it's right.
374
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:12,071
Well, you are certainly
entitled to your opinion,
375
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:14,640
but as long as you're
a student in this school,
376
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,642
you have to abide
by school regulations.
377
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,311
If you have a problem
with a particular policy,
378
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,747
I suggest you take it up
with the Board of Education.
379
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:24,616
Mr. Flaherty, why don't we
give Jennifer time
380
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:26,652
to find another suitable book
381
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,988
and give her report
in the near future?
382
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,322
No!
383
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,725
This is the book report
I'm going to give.
384
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,326
As Dante once said,
385
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,962
"The hottest places in hell
are reserved for those
386
00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:39,430
who, in times of moral crisis,
remain neutral."
387
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,167
What does that mean?
388
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,159
I think she's just
making conversation.
389
00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:48,907
So, in conclusion,
390
00:16:48,907 --> 00:16:51,010
this is one of the best books
I've ever read.
391
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,512
I recommend it
to everyone in this class.
392
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:57,016
And I leave you
with this question to ponder.
393
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:01,020
Is Yogi Berra
related to Yogi Bear?
394
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,353
And if so, how?
395
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,632
(sighs)
396
00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:16,035
My-my book report
is about Huckleberry Finn.
397
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,102
Jennifer!
398
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:19,271
Written in 1884,
399
00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:21,306
about 20 years
after the Civil War ended,
400
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:24,176
this book is not only the story
of a young man's journey
401
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:26,178
down the Mississippi,
but it's also the story
402
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:29,170
of America's journey
from innocence to maturity.
403
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:44,997
All right, Andy,
we're almost finished.
404
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:47,166
You know, I asked around.
405
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,600
Other brothers don't do this.
406
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,138
Um, well, you're special.
407
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:57,575
I know, but the thrill
is starting to wear off.
408
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:02,014
Oh, a little tailoring
going on, huh?
409
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,616
Yes. We're almost finished.
410
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:05,918
Uh-huh.
411
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,820
Need any help?
412
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,621
You can't help. Remember?
413
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,690
Your head's too big.
414
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:14,693
All right. All right.
Just give me this tape measure.
415
00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:15,894
- Oh, Alex...
- Just-just a minute.
416
00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,196
Just put your finger
right there, all right?
417
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:19,187
- You know what...
- Will you? Come on!
418
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,936
Swelled head check, Alex?
419
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:24,937
All right. All right.
420
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,371
Listen, you guys are my parents.
421
00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:28,307
- Help me out on this one.
- (Mallory sighs)
422
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:30,969
Is my head too big for my body?
423
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,680
A little.
424
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,448
All right. Okay,
let me tell you something.
425
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:37,783
Maybe all of your heads
426
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,185
are just a little too small
for your bodies.
427
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,720
Huh? You ever think of that?
428
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:42,955
- Hi.
- Hi.
429
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,324
- STEVEN: What?
- ELYSE: What-what happened?
430
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:46,992
Did-did you read
from your Huck Finn report?
431
00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,694
I did it.
432
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,996
We are so proud of you, Jen.
433
00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:52,498
That took a great deal
of courage.
434
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,366
And now my only hope
is that you have
435
00:18:54,366 --> 00:18:56,034
the tuition money
to pay for private school
436
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:58,737
'cause that's definitely
where I'm headed.
437
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:00,806
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Hey, what happened?
438
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,241
Come on, hey...
don't kid around, now.
439
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:04,943
Private school is expensive.
440
00:19:04,943 --> 00:19:06,445
Well, when Mr. Flaherty
found out
441
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,747
that I was doing
my report on Huck Finn,
442
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:10,816
he had to call down
to the principal, Dr. Hewitt.
443
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,117
She warned me not to do it.
444
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,987
When I did it anyway,
she took my pages away.
445
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,221
- She what?
- What?
446
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,890
She confiscated
your book report?
447
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,892
Yeah. I-I'm not even going
to have a chance to be graded.
448
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,793
Not graded?
449
00:19:21,793 --> 00:19:23,784
Jen, you get all the breaks.
450
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,800
Mal, uh, I-I don't...
451
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,702
I don't think you understand
the implications of this.
452
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,771
No one should have
the right to tell you
453
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:35,040
what you should
or should not read.
454
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,475
Yeah, Mal, come on.
455
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:38,177
How would you like it
if someone came
456
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,179
into the Grant College
Library and...
457
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,170
took the book out?
458
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,787
Well, I'm sure they had
very good reasons
459
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,189
for what they were doing.
460
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,457
Well, Mal, I don't think
any of these are good reasons.
461
00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:54,393
Uh, banning
The Diary of Anne Frank
462
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:56,328
because it treated
all religions equally?
463
00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:59,631
Banning Mice and Men
because of vulgarity?
464
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:00,866
- Banning Cosmopolitan...
- What?
465
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,368
Why?
466
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,504
...Cosmopolitan
because it deals explicitly
467
00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,005
with sexual issues.
468
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:08,340
The swine!
469
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:10,509
Why aren't we doing
something about this?
470
00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:12,010
We're going to, Mal.
471
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,946
We're going to call
other parents, organize.
472
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,614
We're not going to
back down from this.
473
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:17,516
This is a question
of free speech.
474
00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:19,151
The Supreme Court said that.
475
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:23,589
Well, actually,
what the court said...
476
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:25,857
was that the defendant
school board
477
00:20:25,857 --> 00:20:27,593
had violated
students' rights in...
478
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:30,195
in censoring books
from the school library.
479
00:20:30,195 --> 00:20:33,165
Thus the question becomes
whether the, uh...
480
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,866
the discretion
of the school board
481
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:37,002
to make curricular decisions
is impeded in any way
482
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:38,993
by First Amendment
considerations.
483
00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:43,909
I told you, I know everything.
484
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,411
Maybe that's why
your head's so big.
485
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,606
(phone rings)
486
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:52,284
Hello.
487
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:53,619
Oh, hi.
488
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,354
Uh, yes, yes, we're...
489
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:56,989
we're very proud of her
ourselves.
490
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,090
Thank you.
491
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,921
Uh... well, I'll let her know.
492
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:02,961
That was, uh,
Tricia Willis's father,
493
00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:04,997
just saying he heard
what you did in class,
494
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:08,467
and the Willises
are behind it 100%.
495
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,435
Jennifer, you are
a regular celebrity.
496
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,837
I'm so proud of you.
497
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,806
Hey, maybe Dad can do one of his
boring documentaries on you.
498
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,076
I-I mean "boring" in the...
499
00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:21,273
in the best, most interesting
sense of the word.
500
00:21:24,182 --> 00:21:26,418
- Hello, Alex.
- Mr. Flaherty. How are you?
501
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:28,220
I haven't seen you
in a long time.
502
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,415
Has your head gotten bigger?
503
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:36,361
Good to see you, Mr. Flaherty.
504
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:38,463
- Hello.
- Oh, hi, Mr. Flaherty.
505
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:40,232
We heard what happened
this afternoon.
506
00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:42,868
I-I can't begin to tell you how
aggravated and upset we are.
507
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:45,203
I'm not thrilled with the way
things went, either.
508
00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:46,705
But I just wanted to tell you
509
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,440
how proud you should be
of your daughter.
510
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,709
She really handled herself
beautifully
511
00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:54,179
in a very difficult,
sensitive situation.
512
00:21:54,179 --> 00:21:55,314
Thank you, Mr. Flaherty.
513
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,848
That's good to hear anyway.
514
00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:58,116
I also wanted to tell you
515
00:21:58,116 --> 00:22:00,052
I got your book report
back from Dr. Hewitt.
516
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,520
I think it's the finest report
517
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,089
on Huckleberry Finn
I've ever read.
518
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:06,080
(clears throat)
519
00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:08,393
Sorry, Alex.
520
00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:11,029
This was better.
521
00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:13,965
Well, at least it stays
in the family.
522
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:18,870
That's why it really hurts
to tell you that...
523
00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:22,040
I have to fail you
on the report, Jennifer.
524
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,308
Why?
525
00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:26,178
Because, as far as
the school board is concerned,
526
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,180
Huckleberry Finn doesn't exist.
527
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,082
Yeah, I'm sure Mark Twain
would be thrilled to hear that.
528
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,416
FLAHERTY:
Technically,
529
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:33,685
if the book isn't
officially recognized,
530
00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:35,676
there's no book report.
531
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,590
I can't believe it.
532
00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:40,192
I'm going to fail.
533
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,693
Hey, hey, hey, listen.
534
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,695
No Keaton has ever
failed English.
535
00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:45,686
Well, I...
536
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,371
No more Keatons
are going to fail English.
537
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:56,508
Well, unfortunately, the failing
isn't the worst of it.
538
00:22:56,508 --> 00:22:58,844
Dr. Hewitt has said
that unless Jennifer
539
00:22:58,844 --> 00:23:00,879
chooses to do
another book report
540
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:03,815
and stops defying
the rules of the school,
541
00:23:03,815 --> 00:23:06,051
she's going to be suspended.
542
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,110
Uh...
543
00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:13,458
Well, I'm not backing down.
544
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:15,153
Okay.
545
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,194
MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
546
00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:50,320
(Ubu barks)
547
00:24:52,500 --> 00:25:00,500
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