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1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:04,665
(funky disco plays)
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:07,012
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,138
♪ Right back in my hometown
4
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,943
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:14,046
♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪
6
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,348
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,820
♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪
8
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,219
♪ It's true love we share
9
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,551
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:25,116
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,956
♪ My happy mustached face
12
00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:28,991
♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪
13
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:31,196
(chuckles)
14
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,503
Rallo, sweetie,
15
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,973
I want to make sure you stay
warm and don't get scared
16
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:41,012
at your dad's, so I'm gonna pack
your feety pajamas
17
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:42,878
and Ray Lewis plush doll.
18
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:46,077
First of all, it's not a doll,
it's an action pillow.
19
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,850
And second, stop babying me.
20
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:51,018
I'm a man, and I expect
to be treated as such.
21
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,318
All right, pack your
own damn suitcase.
22
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,720
I'm gonna go waste three
hours on Pinterest.
23
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,093
Where you going, Rallo?
24
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,061
East Stoolbend.
25
00:00:58,059 --> 00:00:59,859
It's my weekend
with my dad.
26
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,590
Has it been
a year already?
27
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:02,725
You have a dad?
28
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,160
East Stoolbend?
29
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,065
Isn't that a little,
uh... urban?
30
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:08,827
(scoffs) I ain't scared;
I'm Rallo Tubbs.
31
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:12,036
I could finish a chocolate milk
in one sitting.
32
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,109
Like a man!
33
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,108
Hey, Cleveland,
34
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,739
you decide if
you're gonna let me
35
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,084
take your Garbage Pail Kids
cards to show-and-tell?
36
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,080
(sucks air through teeth)
I don't know.
37
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:23,752
They are my most
prized possession.
38
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,351
I keep them
in my finest rubber band.
39
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:29,563
The wide kind
they use to bundle asparagus.
40
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:30,857
Come on, man!
41
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,188
Pictures of
disgusting cartoon kids
42
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,293
covered in sores
and bodily fluids.
43
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,095
Five-year-olds
would eat that up.
44
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,197
Who you telling?
I got all of 'em!
45
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,929
Itchy Richie, Slimy Sam,
even the ill-advised
46
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,295
and discontinued
Really Black Mack.
47
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,041
Man, that is offensive
and awesome.
48
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,140
You got to let me take them.
49
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:51,042
I'll have to check with Junior;
they're his birthright.
50
00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:52,235
JUNIOR:
Don't want 'em!
51
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,546
He's still deciding.
52
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,307
Look, old Brown,
you're getting old
53
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,946
and you've
been fat forever.
54
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,551
You could die from
natural causes at any moment.
55
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:00,753
(gasps)
56
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,754
That's what my doctor told me.
57
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,456
So, the sooner you let me know
about those cards, the better.
58
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,129
(doorbell rings)
Dad's here!
59
00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:09,228
ROBERT: 'Sup, Berta?
ROBERTA: Hey, Dad.
60
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,760
You know, you've never met
my boyfriend, Federline.
61
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,565
FEDERLINE:
Hey, yo, what's the haps?
62
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:14,967
(Federline beatboxing)
63
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,169
(loud slap, Federline yelps)
64
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,470
ROBERT:
Sorry, Berta.
65
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,041
ROBERTA: No, I told
him not to do that.
66
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:25,082
Turns out, by amputating
the right leg,
67
00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:26,979
I was amputating
the wrong leg.
68
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,981
(laughter)
69
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,083
Why aren't you laughing,
Cleveland?
70
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:34,145
I'm depressed
'cause we're all gonna die.
71
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,915
Don't worry, Cleveland,
at least when you die,
72
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,293
you'll still have us.
73
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,121
That's a queer statement.
74
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,956
No, I meant
at the Stoolbend Cemetery.
75
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,661
I bought burial plots
for all of us.
76
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,703
Except for Tim, because
he wants to be stuffed.
77
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,128
Religious reasons.
78
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:47,373
I even got plots
for your wives.
79
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,098
By the way, Lester,
80
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:51,773
you're now the biggest
landowner in the county.
81
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,712
(laughter)
82
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,308
Bah-dum, bum.
83
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,310
You want to go to the cemetery
and see the plots?
84
00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,112
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
85
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:01,453
G-G-G-Graveyard?!
86
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,618
(crow cawing in distance)
87
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:08,617
Here we are.
88
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:09,862
(gasps)
89
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,927
Oh, my word.
90
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:22,829
Wow, I could stay here forever.
91
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,496
Yeah, that's
kind of the idea.
92
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,505
Well, I got a working fridge
in the back of my truck
93
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:30,578
stocked with beer and beer;
we could hang out a while.
94
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,238
That's a great idea!
95
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,246
This is our land now.
96
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:35,578
We should enjoy it.
97
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:38,323
One step ahead of you.
98
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,689
(chuckles)
99
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,017
Tim.
100
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,321
♪
101
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,330
(sighs)
102
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:51,059
This has been a perfect day.
103
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,325
Thank you, Holt.
104
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,273
I only want to
make you happy.
105
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,268
That's a queer statement.
106
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,270
Excuse me.
My wife's grandfather
107
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,042
is being buried
down the hill.
108
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,910
I hope he was
dead first.
109
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,009
(laughs)
110
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,180
Oh. Continue.
111
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:06,038
Well, the turnout
is pretty low.
112
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:09,106
Anyhow, I know this may sound
weird, but how would you feel
113
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:11,016
about maybe filling
some seats at the funeral?
114
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,248
I... don't know.
115
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,054
That's pretty creepy.
116
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,355
I'll give you 50 bucks each.
117
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:19,457
I'm... suddenly
okay with this.
118
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,728
Rallo, that steak
was divine.
119
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,031
What's your secret?
120
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:27,432
I cook it for four hours
on a lightbulb.
121
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,574
Mama says I'm not big enough
to use the stove yet.
122
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,271
(scoffs) How ridiculous is
your ridiculous mama?
123
00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:34,744
So ridiculous.
124
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,742
Anybody with eyes can see
I'm a big boy young man.
125
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,405
(phone chirps)
Hmm.
126
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,553
Hey, Rallo you want to
go to the playground?
127
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,778
Hecks yeah!
128
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,253
Cool. It's three
blocks that way.
129
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,221
Have a good time. Don't
buy nothing from nobody.
130
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,420
You're not coming?
131
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,622
No, I got to go
to Baltimore.
132
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,993
In Maryland?!
133
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,661
I don't know.
Is that where it is?
134
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,390
What am I supposed to do?
135
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,455
You just said
you're a man.
136
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,232
You can do
whatever you want.
137
00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:58,631
A penis is
freedom, man.
138
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,102
You can handle a night
by yourself, right?
139
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,401
Yeah. Y-Yeah, I'll be fine.
140
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,974
Coolio. Here's some
cash for emergencies
141
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,772
and the keys to
the front door.
142
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,144
The locks don't work,
but use the keys anyway
143
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,843
so the junkie who lives in
the hall thinks they work.
144
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,745
His name's Marvin.
Don't talk to him.
145
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,777
He'll get in your head.
It's spooky.
146
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,353
I'll be back
tomorrow-ish.
147
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,521
Be cool.
148
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:23,487
(fly buzzing)
149
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,990
Maybe I should call Mama.
150
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,463
No. I'm a man;
I can take care of myself.
151
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,502
(woman screams in distance)
What was that?
152
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,257
(helicopter blades whirring,
gunshots)
153
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:35,596
(violin playing slashing chords,
wolf howling, eerie moaning)
154
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,602
(woman cackling)
155
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:41,174
I-I'll just watch TV
to get my mind off this.
156
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:42,805
NEWS ANCHOR:
According to police,
157
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,480
the crazy
wolf-ghost-witch-violinist
158
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:47,278
is believed to be armed
and flying a helicopter,
159
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:49,681
hunting for little boys
who look like you.
160
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,453
(screams)
161
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,556
(phone ringing)
162
00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,495
Hello?
163
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,398
OPERATOR:
Hello. You have a collect call from...
164
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,000
ROBERT:
I'm gonna stay in Baltimore another day. Cool? Cool.
165
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,402
Don't accept the charges.
166
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,574
OPERATOR:
Do you accept the charges?
167
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,313
(sighs)
No.
168
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:17,378
I was hoping
he'd bring back some food.
169
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,782
(keys jangle)
170
00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:28,489
(loud banging)
171
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,493
Excuse me, I'm looking
for a Souplantation.
172
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,334
Sometimes they're
next to Jamba Juices.
173
00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:37,099
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
174
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,327
Shouldn't y'all be
wearing safety goggles?
175
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,333
Who are you?
Oh, my bad.
176
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,695
Rallo Tubbs.
177
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:44,543
I'm Tyler.
That's Randall.
178
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:45,538
And that's Snoop.
179
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,039
(knuckles cracking)
180
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,340
(farts)
181
00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:49,672
(chuckles)
You guys want
182
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,176
to shoot hoops or something?
183
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:53,348
We would,
but we don't have a ball.
184
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,347
But thkid does.
185
00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:58,553
I bet he'd share it.
186
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:00,522
Fat kids are usually
good sharers,
187
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,451
'cause they can't
afford to be jerks.
188
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,756
Why don't you go
beat him up and take it!
189
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,858
What?!
190
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,459
(laughs):
Aw, I get it.
191
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:09,931
You're busting
the new kid's chops.
192
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,400
Go get my ball.
193
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,798
(gulps)
194
00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:16,026
Hi. I'm Gunther.
195
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,366
Would you like
to share my ball?
196
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:19,742
I love sharing.
197
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,540
I bet you do, Gunther.
198
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,072
Look, this what's
gonna happen:
199
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,576
I'm gonna take your ball
and lightly push you.
200
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,549
You are then gonna
fall to the ground
201
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,148
and pretend to be hurt.
202
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,219
Understand?
Yeah.
203
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,792
(loud crying)
You fat bitch!
204
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,458
Sorry.
205
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,499
Hot wieners!
206
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,397
(alarm beeping)
Uhp, suit up, guys.
207
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:52,604
Another day,
another funeral.
208
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:56,436
Mm. Sure is a lot of dying
going on in this world.
209
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,513
Let's do this.
210
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:01,482
♪
211
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:14,364
Friends, family and "the guys,"
212
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:18,801
we come here today
to remember... Kamal Patel.
213
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:22,929
Kamal worked hard,
sometimes up to ten hours a day,
214
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:28,306
for six months, losing his
accent until he became "Brad."
215
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:31,508
As Brad, he could make
your plane reservations,
216
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:34,552
or help you
troubleshoot Windows 8.
217
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,548
And as Kamal,
he could make a yellow curry
218
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:41,021
that would make both
your mouth and your eyes water.
219
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,661
And much love to his widow...
220
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,457
Chan... drak... anta.
221
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:46,889
Nailed it.
222
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,134
Halle-Hindu-Buddha!
223
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:52,629
("Don't Fear the Reaper"
by Blue Oyster Cult playing)
224
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:59,698
♪ All our times have come
225
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,575
♪ Here, but now they're gone
226
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:12,045
♪ Seasons don't fear
the reaper ♪
227
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,852
♪ Nor do the wind,
the sun or the rain ♪
228
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:17,355
♪ We can be like they are
229
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:20,357
♪ Come on, baby,
don't fear the reaper ♪
230
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,160
♪ Baby, take my hand
231
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,702
♪ Don't fear the reaper
232
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,427
♪ We'll be able to fly
233
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,032
♪ Don't fear the reaper
234
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:31,544
♪ Baby, I'm your man...
235
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:35,638
♪ La, la-la, la, la
236
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:42,577
♪ La, la-la, la, la.
237
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,647
(song ends)
238
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:51,963
Thanks again, Padre,
239
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,289
for forgiving me
for pushing the fat kid,
240
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,764
and for keeping your
hands to yourself.
241
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,563
Tell Jesus
I'll hit him up later.
242
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,225
That's a nice
suit, Rallo.
243
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,303
Thanks.
I got it on eBay.
244
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,872
Peter Dinklage wore it
to the Golden Globes.
245
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:06,401
Y'all go to church?
246
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,936
Yeah. Church's Chicken.
247
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,981
Now you coming with us.
248
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,445
Here you go.
249
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,308
It does everything
your other stuff already does.
250
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:19,016
I am gonna be so smug
about owning this.
251
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,623
Okay. What was
that all about?
252
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:23,993
Check your pocket.
253
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:25,161
An iPhone?
254
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,828
You put this in my pocket?
You stole it!
255
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,958
Looks to me
like you stole it.
256
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,063
But I'll take it.
257
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,664
Hey! You kids, stop!
258
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:34,166
Run!
259
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,567
Be careful with that!
260
00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,339
It has a soul!
261
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,667
Throw me the phone!
262
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,242
What, this phone?
263
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,010
Bad move, Rallo.
264
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,540
You gonna pay for that.
265
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,349
Oh, my God, no!
266
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,849
SIRI:
What is happening?
267
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,851
I can't feel my legs.
268
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,623
I'm so... cold.
269
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:55,851
Shh, shh, shh.
270
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,316
It'll be okay.
(sobbing)
271
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:04,832
(both grunt)
272
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,525
Dad! Help me!
273
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:11,604
I'm being chased by two ruffians
and a ne'er-do-well!
274
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,135
'Sup, Montclair?
275
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,610
How's your weekend?
276
00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:16,108
Good, good.
277
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,039
So, uh,
c-can you take me home now?
278
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,335
Like, right now?
279
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,276
Yeah, my weekend was good, too.
Thanks.
280
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,052
Manners matter, Rallo.
281
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:31,688
(sighs)
All right, I'm sorry.
282
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,192
How was Baltimore?
283
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,063
I don't want to
tell you now.
284
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,697
Is that a new suit?
285
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,700
Mm-hmm. Got it on eBay.
286
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,742
Tilda Swinton wore it
to the Golden Globes.
287
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,738
Cleveland, the librarian
at school told me
288
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,870
that you were at her mother's
funeral yesterday.
289
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,805
Delores was
your friend's mother?!
290
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,311
Oh, wonderful woman.
291
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,712
Apparently, she had an affair
with Pat Nixon
292
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:57,175
but had the decency
to keep it to herself.
293
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,884
A real class act.
294
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,085
What the hell is going on?
295
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,917
Holt bought us
burial plots,
296
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,822
so we've been spending
a lot of time at the cemetery.
297
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:07,325
Then some guy paid us
to go to a funeral,
298
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,027
so we started
doing that.
299
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,829
That is horrible!
Don't worry.
300
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,601
Holt got you a plot, too.
301
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,999
I put you on the end,
because that one time
302
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:18,071
you were on a plane you said
you liked the aisle seat.
303
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,911
Cleveland, getting paid to go
to strangers' funerals
304
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,737
is gross and wrong.
305
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:25,283
I agree, which is why I stopped
taking the money.
306
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,848
I just do it now
because I enjoy it.
307
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:30,278
Oh, I should go.
I'm eulogizing someone.
308
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,283
Who?
I don't know. Some dude.
309
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,845
Cleveland, death is not
something to be taken lightly.
310
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,915
It should be feared and
avoided, like a pit bull
311
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,423
or getting
your hair wet.
312
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,855
You know what?
313
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,930
I'm cashing in my
"forbid" coupon.
314
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:45,458
"This coupon allows Donna
to forbid Cleveland
315
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,725
from doing
one stupid thing."
316
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:51,644
You know, for a birthday present
you called "cheap and lazy,"
317
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:54,138
you're pretty happy
to have them now.
318
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,711
(door opens)
319
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:58,109
(chuckles)
Got next year's gift.
320
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:02,246
So let me get this straight.
321
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:04,049
You beat up three punk kids
322
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,050
and gave that fat kid
his ball back?
323
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,152
That's right.
324
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,754
You are the
man, Rallo.
325
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:09,745
I know.
326
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,656
I made East Stoolbend my bitch.
327
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,628
Yay! Jiffy Pop!
328
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,057
This burned.
329
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:16,461
I don't know why.
330
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,033
(knocking)
331
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:20,971
Nice place, Rallo.
332
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,067
You miss us?
333
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:23,268
What are you
doing here?
334
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,000
Mama!
335
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,235
Before you tell her
whatever you're gonna tell her,
336
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,410
maybe you should take a look
at these pictures.
337
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,075
Who is it, baby?
Are the Mormons back?
338
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,354
Who are these
scruffy kids?
339
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,192
These are, um...
340
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,858
They're some kids I met
at Dad's this weekend.
341
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,287
Hello, I'm Tyler.
342
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:47,032
You must be Rallo's sister.
343
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,027
(giggles)
344
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,928
Oh, I like you.
345
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,200
Y'all come in.
346
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:52,928
I just made Jiffy Pop.
347
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,233
(gulps)
348
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,811
I can't believe
you guys are in my house.
349
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:05,038
Well, you left before we were
done playing with you.
350
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:08,105
Yeah, we're part of
your life now, Rallo.
351
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,514
That is so sweet.
352
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,376
I should get
my camera.
353
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:14,024
Rallo, why don't you take your
new friends up to your room
354
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,320
and show them your Xbox
355
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,162
or PS3 or Wii or Leap Pad...
Don't! Mom!
356
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:18,717
Stop telling them what I got!
357
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,185
...and I'll go make some
Rice Krispie Treats.
358
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,634
You owe us
for that iPhone, Rallo,
359
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:27,230
and we're not leaving
till we get what's ours.
360
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,804
Who are these
scruffy kids?
361
00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:30,132
(sniffs)
362
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,336
You guys smell
like the outside.
363
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:33,969
What do you want, Cleveland?
364
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,974
I wanted to bring you this.
365
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,076
Your Garbage Pail Kids cards?
366
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:41,148
Priceless
Garbage Pail Kids cards, yes,
367
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:43,307
for your big
show-and-tell tomorrow.
368
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,976
Huh, show-and-tell.
369
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,015
That sounds profitable.
370
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,590
I don't think I should.
371
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,588
Poppycock!
372
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,189
Go on, take them.
373
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,191
Now that I've seen my
final resting place,
374
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,833
I can't wait to die.
375
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:57,028
And these will
be my legacy.
376
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,530
I share them with you.
377
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:01,401
Huh, fat guys are good
at sharing.
378
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,871
Thanks, Cleveland.
379
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:04,199
That's Creepy
Cleveland.
380
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,404
(laughs)
381
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,105
Garbage Pail Kid name.
382
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,907
That's how you're gonna
pay us back, Rallo.
383
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,940
You're gonna help us
jack show-and-tell.
384
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,335
No way.
385
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:16,106
I'm not gonna help you steal
from my friends.
386
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:19,246
Then maybe we'll e-mail
those pictures to your mom.
387
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,422
All right, I'll do it.
388
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,361
But this is my last job,
and I'm out of the game.
389
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:25,717
You hear me?
390
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,255
I got a family now!
391
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,230
They're counting on me!
392
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,759
These melted.
393
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:31,964
I don't know why.
394
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,365
(school bell ringing)
395
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,537
Show-and-tell
will be extra special today
396
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:40,367
because Rallo brought
special guests.
397
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,243
Apartment kids.
398
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,182
KIDS:
Ooh!
399
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,711
I'm telling you,
there's no way
400
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,714
you're gonna be able
to jack show-and-tell.
401
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,946
Mrs. Lowenstein makes us
put all the items
402
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:55,292
in a brown paper grocery bag
that she keeps under her desk.
403
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,118
It's like Fort Knox.
404
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,263
You leave that to us.
405
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,588
Your job is to cause
a distraction.
406
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:03,333
During recess,
you're gonna play hide-and-seek.
407
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,160
Make sure you're it.
408
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,625
When everyone hides,
409
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,403
you act like
you can't find them,
410
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:11,271
then we'll sneak in
and take the bag.
411
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,671
That's not gonna work.
412
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,172
I'm the hide-and-seek champ.
413
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,444
If I don't
find them immediately,
414
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,182
they're gonna know
something's up.
415
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,837
Don't screw this up, Rallo.
416
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,135
Okay, I'll do it.
417
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,406
(groans)
418
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:29,249
Okay, everyone.
419
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,085
After our 40-minute nap,
420
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,091
where I secretly lay down
with you
421
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,263
and pretend you are
my own children,
422
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:38,331
we'll have recess
and then show-and-tell.
423
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,661
(school bell ringing)
424
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,926
(cheering)
425
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:48,140
It's go time.
426
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,171
Who wants to play
hide-and-seek?
427
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,506
I'll be it.
428
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,281
One,
429
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:55,879
two, three...
430
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,163
You guys are hiding so good.
431
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,963
I don't know
that I'll ever find you.
432
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:22,205
Donna, I've said good-bye
to Brownternity,
433
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,138
my burial plot.
434
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,714
I just came up
with that name now.
435
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,383
I wish I'd thought
of it earlier.
436
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,821
And to apologize
for my behavior,
437
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,987
I'd like to take you out
for a romantic dinner.
438
00:17:33,987 --> 00:17:37,017
Sweet! I'm gonna go put
on my good eating shirt.
439
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,923
Hey, Junior.
440
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,855
I haven't seen you much
this episode.
441
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,260
Yeah, I got a bye week.
442
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,603
(kids crying)
443
00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,202
Man, they took
my grandfather's watch.
444
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,942
They took
my grandfather's ashes.
445
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,368
This is
your fault, Rallo.
446
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,443
You brought those kids here.
447
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,442
Okay, everybody,
just relax.
448
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,184
You're right.
449
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,409
I knew they were gonna do this,
and I'm sorry.
450
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,284
But come on,
451
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:06,253
did you really think I would
let them get away with it?
452
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:09,392
Not only am I the best seeker...
453
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,249
(kids gasp)
454
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:13,756
...I'm also the best hider!
455
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,360
(cheering)
456
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:18,462
How'd you do it, Rallo?
457
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,995
During nap time,
I switched the bag.
458
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:26,439
It was surprisingly easy.
459
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,369
Now, how's about
we have us
460
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:30,714
a good old-fashioned
show-and-tell!
461
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,310
(cheering)
462
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,482
Not so fast.
463
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,951
You think you can just
trick us like that?
464
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,720
We want that stuff.
465
00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,388
No.
466
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,387
I'm tired of you guys
bullying me.
467
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:46,159
This is ours,
and you can't have it!
468
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,429
Yeah!
469
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,957
Get out of here,
you poor kids.
470
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,762
That's right!
Wait, what?
471
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,803
We don't want trash
like you around here.
472
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:56,429
I bet you drink tap
water, like a dog.
473
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:57,966
Whoa, Hot Wheels!
474
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,401
All of you!
475
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:01,235
These are
human beings.
476
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,771
What's wrong with you?
477
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,475
We hate them because they're
bullies and thieves,
478
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,108
not because they're poor
and underprivileged.
479
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:10,254
Which is exactly why they became
480
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,280
bullies and thieves
in the first place!
481
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:15,685
These poor,
broken souls have nothing,
482
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:19,988
and we are so lucky
to have everything.
483
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,333
Theodore, let's give them
your headphones.
484
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,998
Bernard, let's give them
your cuff links.
485
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,928
Hot Wheels,
let's give them...
486
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,333
Nah, they're not gonna want
anything of yours.
487
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:32,670
What about you?
488
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,042
What are you giving them?
489
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,210
These are to
my Big Wheel.
490
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,280
It's parked out front.
491
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,024
That was a good thing
you did, Rallo.
492
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,477
Uh-huh.
493
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:46,645
(beeps)
494
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,223
Hello, police?
495
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:51,221
I'd like to report
a stolen Big Wheel.
496
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,524
Those kids was dicks.
497
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,826
Cleveland, if I
take this off
498
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:58,058
and see Big Boob June
on a futon again,
499
00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,034
we are getting
a divorce.
500
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,703
Here we are!
501
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,302
♪
502
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:09,867
Oh, my God!
503
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,636
Cleveland, what the
hell is wrong with you?
504
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,544
Is this your idea of
a romantic dinner?
505
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,906
This is like something
Nicolas Cage would do.
506
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,045
Donna, wait.
507
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,520
I know it's strange,
508
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:21,488
but it's important to me
that you like this place.
509
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:22,547
Why?
510
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,155
Because when I die--
511
00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:26,357
and let's be honest,
I'm going first--
512
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,589
I want you to come visit me
and spend time with me.
513
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,496
So I want you to have
good memories
514
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,157
of us here together.
515
00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:34,496
Wow.
516
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,600
That was actually...
thought out.
517
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:39,003
Donna, may I have
this dance?
518
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:42,205
You want me to literally
dance on our graves?
519
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,838
Our future graves, yes.
520
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:53,618
Hey, Donna, you want to join
the six feet under club?
521
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:57,120
I don't need to join, but
I'll renew my membership. Mm.
522
00:20:57,170 --> 00:21:01,720
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