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1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:04,695
(funky disco plays)
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,005
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,108
♪ Right back in my hometown
4
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:12,040
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:14,046
♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪
6
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,278
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:18,653
♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪
8
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,152
♪ It's true love we share
9
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,424
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,863
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,929
♪ My happy mustached face
12
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:28,987
♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪
13
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:31,196
(chuckles)
14
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,500
Why do I have to come
in the store with you?
15
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,973
Couldn't you just leave me
in the car like you usually do?
16
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:40,712
(sighs)
No, there's a cop out fro.
17
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,538
Now, here, pick out
something you want.
18
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,714
I'm gonna flirt me
some free pastrami
19
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,013
from that
lonely deli guy.
20
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,854
Hey, Louis.
How are you?
21
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,920
DELI GUY:
I'm fine.
22
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,149
All right, one dollar.
23
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,745
What should I buy?
24
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,986
Wait, what's this?
25
00:00:57,992 --> 00:00:59,092
Joy Buzzer?
26
00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:00,863
Not really a handshake guy.
27
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:02,331
Fake Dog Doo?
28
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:05,099
Hmm, I can get
the real thing for free.
29
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:08,999
But this...
this has potential.
30
00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:10,973
(sighs)
31
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:13,371
Mixed... Nuts?
32
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,014
Hmm.
Not familiar with the brand.
33
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,040
Can's rather small,
34
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:20,154
with a dated design
and no nutritional info.
35
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:23,177
But who am I
to look gift nuts in the mouth?
36
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,354
Help! Snakes!
37
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,152
Donna, call a herpetologist!
38
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,424
(laughs)
You've been Rallo'ed!
39
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,793
And that's
now my thing.
40
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,932
Wha...? Ha! Yes!
41
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:35,588
The joke's on me.
42
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,356
And my warm, wet trousers.
43
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:41,065
Ah, the snake
ate all the nuts!
44
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:46,036
This is a
semi-demi hitch.
45
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,010
This is a
hemi-semi-demi hitch.
46
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,939
This one is known
as the Rough Rider
47
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,975
due to its use in the bondage
and discipline community.
48
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,751
Yeah, I know what
that is, Junior.
49
00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:01,248
You got almost
every single merit badge.
50
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,955
Yep, I'm going to be the
youngest Chief Scout in history.
51
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:06,358
Only five more
badges to go.
52
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,160
I've got a lot
of work to do.
53
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:12,302
I got a lot of work
to do my own self.
54
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,369
♪
55
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,367
♪
56
00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:12,016
(woman screams)
57
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,673
(thuds)
58
00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:27,969
(laughs)
59
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,135
You've been Rallo'ed!
60
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:30,413
(groans)
61
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,506
I was Rallo'ed.
62
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:36,776
Me, too.
63
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:37,954
Me, too.
64
00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:39,322
Evening, suckers.
65
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,820
Anyone care to smell my flower?
66
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,192
ALL: I will!
No!
67
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,420
No more Rallo'ing, Rallo.
68
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:48,956
Because you do not
want to get Donna'ed.
69
00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:51,033
Been a while
since I got Donna'ed.
70
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,131
I mean it. We've had
enough of your pranks.
71
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,303
This ends now.
72
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,101
And no dessert for you.
73
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,043
In fact,
yours is going to Junior.
74
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,238
(vacuum motor whirring)
75
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:05,039
(vacuum motor powers down)
76
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,921
♪ If there's one thing
that I do need ♪
77
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,518
♪ It's to wash my privates
and get real clean ♪
78
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,690
♪ In the shower
79
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,019
♪ In the shower...
80
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:21,955
(chuckles)
Damn fat showering Elvis,
81
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,302
take my dessert,
thinks he's so cool.
82
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,998
Well, he's about to get hot!
83
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,001
(Junior humming)
84
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,202
Thank you.
Thank you very...
85
00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:30,943
(screams)
86
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:33,108
(moaning)
87
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,807
Rallo'ed!
88
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,638
I knew I shouldn't have been
washing it so long!
89
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,705
Now I've gone blind!
90
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:49,955
Germs are everywhere.
91
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,687
(music plays)
92
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,162
MAN (over speaker):
What's up, Stoolbend!
93
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,690
It's your boy, the Kid,
94
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,026
here to introduce
the principal of Stoolbend High,
95
00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,932
and your Scoutmaster,
96
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:04,043
the baddest Mother Farquhar
alive...
97
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:07,138
Wallace Q. Farquhar!
98
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,441
Get your ass out here, Wally!
99
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,342
(grunting)
100
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,012
Whoa!
101
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,114
Whoo-hoo!
102
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,916
Welcome, Scouts,
to our big trip kickoff!
103
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,489
Hoo!
104
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:24,087
And by "Scouts," I mean
Freedom Scouts, not Boy Scouts;
105
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:27,331
a legally distinct and
entirely separate organization
106
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,198
with whom we are often confused,
and who are having their own
107
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,827
trip kickoff meeting right now
108
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,932
in the Long John Silver's
parking lot.
109
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,504
Bye, honey.
110
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,842
Get on the bus.
111
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,509
Turn around.
112
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,007
Ew. No. Next.
113
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,940
Get on the bus.
114
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:48,345
Up next, to give you families
a little information
115
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:51,079
about our trip
is Cleveland Brown Jr.,
116
00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:54,115
who recently earned
his merit badge in PowerPoint.
117
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,351
(crowd applauds)
118
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,986
Oh, I love PowerPoint
presentations.
119
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,931
Hope he has some
cool transitions.
120
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,827
Come on, checker wipe!
121
00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,599
You know, I actually
helped Junior
122
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,027
with his presentation.
123
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,472
He just doesn't know it yet.
124
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:11,038
Our voyage will begin
on State Route 319
125
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,998
as we head west
past the drag strip
126
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,536
and turn right at Arby's.
127
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,941
(PowerPoint swoosh)
CLEVELAND: There it is!
128
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:19,883
Just a half mile down the road,
we'll reach the campground.
129
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,150
Now, here's where
it gets interesting.
130
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,479
(crowd gasps)
131
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,084
Scenic, isn't it?
132
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:29,015
A never-ending wonderland
of natural delights.
133
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,462
(crowd laughs)
134
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:34,027
Just look at that vast expanse
of virgin territory,
135
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:37,827
the dense, bushy thicket,
where, if you look close enough,
136
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:40,501
you can see
my penis and testicles.
137
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,701
My penis and testicles?!
138
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,843
Boner alert!
139
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,137
That boner-- or mistake--
140
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:49,140
was me allowing you
to make this presentation.
141
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:50,413
It's over!
142
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,545
But Scoutmaster
and Principal Farquhar,
143
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,078
it wasn't my fault!
144
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,183
It's true, Wally.
145
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,984
Junior was Rallo'ed.
146
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:02,246
I don't understand
jive, but regardless,
147
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:05,116
that type of nudism
is unacceptable.
148
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:08,085
Sorry, Junior, but you're
out of the Scouts.
149
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,826
(tires screech)
150
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,374
Given the gravity
of the situation,
151
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,800
it seems
inappropriate
152
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,335
to do or say
something funny right now.
153
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,910
I agree.
Let's just play this straight.
154
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:30,079
Must be easy to be in one
of those drama shows.
155
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,353
Mr. Brown?
156
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,421
I have your...
157
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:33,949
test results.
158
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,660
I have...
159
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,929
fart cancer.
160
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,988
(all laughing)
161
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:48,428
Oh, we can't
turn it off, folks.
162
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:49,765
We'll be right back.
163
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,167
You've gone
too far, Rallo.
164
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,806
You got your brother kicked
out of the stupid Scouts.
165
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,112
Which he loves because he
doesn't know any better.
166
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:04,254
All I needed was rock climbing
and whitewater rafting.
167
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,991
Then I'd have been
a full-fledged Chief Scout.
168
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,687
(sobbing)
169
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,319
Rallo, apologize
to Junior right now!
170
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:14,925
I'm sorry if you took
offense at my actions.
171
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,458
Better.
I apologize
172
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:20,174
if you misinterpreted
my intentions.
173
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,597
Better!
I regret the miscommunication.
174
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,974
Rallo, where on Earth did you
learn to apologize like that?
175
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,044
John Edwards.
176
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:31,111
I'm sorry it took her
so long to die.
177
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,881
Will you marry me?
178
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,010
Rallo, what you did today
was unacceptable.
179
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,346
Until you can give
your brother a sincere apology
180
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,352
and stop your
childish pranks, you will...
181
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,985
stay in your room.
182
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,420
Okay.
183
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,324
(sighs)
184
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,186
Do you have
a problem with that?
185
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,995
Well, it's not the punishment
I would have chosen,
186
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:53,498
but we can discuss it when I
get back from the bathroom.
187
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,174
(yells)
188
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:59,169
Rallo'ed!
(laughs)
189
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,511
All right, eyes down,
190
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,010
left arm straight
on the downswing,
191
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,353
rotate the hips and...
192
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,148
(whimpering)
193
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,020
Bo!
(la)
194
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,749
Rallo! What do you
think you're doing?!
195
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:17,094
Oh, it's okay to shoot
human cops in these games,
196
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,490
but I can't kill
a small-brained seal?
197
00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:21,363
You shouldn't be
playing any games!
198
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,631
You're being punished!
199
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,029
I'm in my room,
aren't I?
200
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:28,171
Ah, the sublime joys of
a womanly punishment.
201
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,998
Cleveland,
I won't hit my kid,
202
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,503
but I will hit
my husband.
203
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:34,336
Okay! My septum!
204
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,511
Rallo, from now on,
205
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:39,740
there will be
no video games!
206
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,147
And no Internet!
207
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,780
No Angry Birds!
208
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,015
No Angry Birdsfor Android!
209
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,990
No Kindle!
No Zune!
210
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,659
No TiVo! No Roku!
211
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,317
No Pronto!
No Pixi! No Swidget!
212
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:55,156
No PlayPad! No Migo!
No Linkster!
213
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:58,432
(Elmo giggling)
No Tickle Me Elmo!
214
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,532
No Texas hold'em with
seven grown-up gamblers
215
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:02,804
who somehow got
into your room!
216
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:05,103
No dressing up
as Al Sharpton!
217
00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:08,365
You think you
can break me, Mama?
218
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,475
You can't break me.
219
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,177
You can take away my toys,
220
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:14,179
but you'll never take away...
221
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,651
my imagination.
222
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,920
Any calls, Eleanor?
223
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:19,989
No?
224
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,087
Then bring me an old-fashioned
225
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,159
and the afternoon papers
if they're in.
226
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,487
(Elmo giggling)
227
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,362
Now you tickle me.
228
00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:29,131
(giggling)
229
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,929
Too hard!
230
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,101
(groans) I feel
like I'm the one
231
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,030
who's being
punished here.
232
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:38,135
Oh, sweetie, you tried it
"yours's" way;
233
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,868
now let me try it
"mes's" way.
234
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,974
You know what?
Go ahead.
235
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,436
You can't do
any worse than me.
236
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,644
What are you gonna do?
237
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:48,606
Well, Donna,
what's the one thing
238
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,845
kids hate more than anything?
239
00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:58,086
But no sinner is more doomed
than the Wicked Child,
240
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:01,361
who is an affront
to the mighty Harlemites
241
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,601
who trotted the globe
to smite the Generals.
242
00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:08,128
As St. Lou said
to the Ferrignos,
243
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,595
"Don't make me angry."
244
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:12,944
ALL: You wouldn't like me
when I'm angry.
245
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,769
Amen!
246
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,265
Rallo Tubbs?
247
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,436
Who wants to know?
248
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,614
You're under arrest.
249
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:20,512
What?! What is
the charge?
250
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:23,484
Distribution
of lewd photos of a minor.
251
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,023
An overweight minor.
252
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,478
That's unnecessary.
253
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,146
We received a report
that you publicly
254
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,285
exhibited
a naked picture of a...
255
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,520
husky 14-year-old.
256
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:33,756
Thank you.
257
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,760
Yeah, but it was just a joke.
258
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,962
Oh.
(laughs)
259
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,334
You're coming downtown.
260
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,672
(gasps)
Mama!
261
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:41,967
Cleveland!
262
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:44,498
REVEREND JENKINS:
Carry on, my wayward son!
263
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,644
There'll be peace
when you are done!
264
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,310
Lay your weary head to rest.
265
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,439
ALL:
♪ Don't you cry no more
266
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,546
(band plays)
(all cheering)
267
00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:00,417
My son
is five years old!
268
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,290
You can't just
arrest little kids!
269
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:03,689
Yes, we can, ma'am.
270
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,190
The distribution
of indecent photos
271
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,032
of children
is a zero-tolerance crime.
272
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,527
Doesn't matter who does it.
273
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,098
Objection, Your Honor!
274
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,357
We're lawyered up.
275
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,534
Len, they couldn't
have meant to punish
276
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,473
a five-year-old
when they wrote this law.
277
00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:17,099
It's Mr. Stein.
278
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,774
Who knows what they meant?
This is Virginia.
279
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,113
It's legal to marry
your 16-year-old cousin,
280
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,609
but illegal
to wash a mule on Sunday.
281
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:27,051
♪ Thank God it's Wednesday
282
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:30,117
♪ Bubble, bubble,
b-b-b-b-bubbles. ♪
283
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,247
The real problem is:
284
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,522
Rallo's age is irrelevant
285
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,451
as far as this law
is concerned.
286
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:39,416
What?! Rallo,
it's gonna be okay.
287
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,256
When you get in front
of that judge,
288
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,131
you'll get the same
benefit of the doubt
289
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,260
as any other
young black male.
290
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,525
Guilty.
291
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:47,533
Ah.
292
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,004
Your Honor, at the risk
293
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,002
of sounding disrespectful,
may I say
294
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,674
that you're a moron
and your verdict is (bleep)?
295
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,013
Oh! Uh!
296
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,538
Oh-ho, ho-ho-ho.
297
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,983
I don't write
the laws, ma'am.
298
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,278
I don't even believe in them.
299
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,279
Not anymore.
300
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,011
Excuse me, Your Highness.
301
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:06,076
Are you saying
our boy is going to prison?!
302
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,086
Of course not.
He's five years old.
303
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:11,488
He's going to juvenile hall
for six months.
304
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:12,521
ALL:
What?!
305
00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:15,626
My baby's going away
for six months.
306
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,299
Oh, Rallo, when you
come back, you won't
307
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,598
recognize any
live-action shows on Fox.
308
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,971
Master Tubbs,
you are to wait here
309
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,676
until the bus comes to
transport you to juvenile hall.
310
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:36,109
And here's a video we ask
all our inmates to watch.
311
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,953
Hi. I'm Jaden Smith.
312
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,852
I didn't really want
to be in this video,
313
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,994
but apparently,
I have to be in everything.
314
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,459
My prison is the expectations
of my parents.
315
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,258
But your prison is prison!
316
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,660
The (blee)
you looking!
317
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,100
I'm getting
a "thwopsticka!"
318
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,669
Get on the bus.
319
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,268
(moaning)
320
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,969
(chuckles)
He fell for it!
321
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:00,772
I out-pranked
the prankster!
322
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:03,144
I got to hand it to you,
Cleveland.
323
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:06,143
Through a series of elaborate
and expensive setups,
324
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:09,006
you managed to fool
a five-year-old.
325
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,105
Are you ready for me now?
326
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:12,476
No. Turns out we
didn't even need you.
327
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:15,115
Well, good for you.
(deep inhale)
328
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:15,951
(thud)
(man screams)
329
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:16,986
Okay, okay. Shh.
330
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,320
Let's go get him.
331
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,888
Rallo, you've been
scared stra... aah!
332
00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:27,027
Oh, oh!
333
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,973
Where he go?
My baby!
334
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,539
Cleveland,
what have you done?
335
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,967
Your stupid plan scared
him into running away.
336
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,473
So my plan
worked too well.
337
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,335
Surely, I can't
be faulted
338
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,884
for such an extraordinary
level of success.
339
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,150
Surely not.
340
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,508
Let's find Rallo.
341
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,576
Kids, we've got
to find Rallo!
342
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,345
I thought he
was going to juvie.
343
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,154
Cleveland made
all that up to scare him.
344
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:51,015
Well, that was
a terrible plan!
345
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,464
You're a terrible plan!
346
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,759
Dah! The point is,
he's gone.
347
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,091
He must have gone
into the woods.
348
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:59,026
You went into the woods!
Dah! Let's go.
349
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,832
But first, let's change out
of our good clothes.
350
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:04,435
Heck with this!
I'm going to the mall.
351
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,037
Then get e
a Wetzel's Pr!
352
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,769
Ah, come on!
353
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,435
(panting)
354
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:13,975
You guys go on ahead.
355
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,810
I need to rest.
356
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,915
All right.
357
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,788
♪ Slumber now
358
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:23,957
♪ The sleep train's coming
359
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:27,027
♪ Choo-choo down the track
360
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,957
Dad, I don't need
to sleep.
361
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,662
I just need
to rest my legs.
362
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:31,704
Oh.
363
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:34,528
I suppose that
was more for me.
364
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,834
Oh, you're growing
up so fast.
365
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,236
DONNA: Cleveland!
Yep!
366
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:42,639
One more look.
367
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,212
(panting)
368
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,084
Huh. Look at that.
369
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,010
Footprints.
My tracking badge taught me
370
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:51,775
that footprints
are left by feet.
371
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:55,085
These badges are very basic.
372
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,127
A pack of gum?
373
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,259
(snaps)
Ow! I've been Rallo'ed!
374
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,025
Wait! Rallo!
375
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:10,273
My thinking is very basic.
376
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,970
Rallo!
377
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,102
Rallo!
378
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,166
Rallo!
379
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,365
Rallo.
380
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,036
Where'd you find
this name, "Rallo?"
381
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:19,214
Sanford and Son.
382
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,152
Oh, yeah. Fred and
Grady's friend?
383
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,477
Mm-hmm.
384
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,022
I got a cousin named
Fred Sanford Brown.
385
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,118
Do you?
No. I wish.
386
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,690
Hey, if you and me have a
baby, we could name him...
387
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,759
(yells)
388
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,418
We got one!
389
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,356
Good trapping, Scouts.
390
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,702
Cleveland, you're
not a wild boar.
391
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,929
Looks like it's
crickets and Schlitz
392
00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:43,665
for dinner
again, boys.
393
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,370
Wally, have you seen Rallo?
394
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:48,172
He's run off into the woods,
and we can't find him.
395
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,944
Oh, boo-hoo.
396
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:51,943
I've lost four kids
this weekend,
397
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:54,005
and you don't see me
whining about it.
398
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:57,147
My breasts look all right.
399
00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:02,923
Hmm.
400
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,790
Hello.
Rallo!
401
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:08,433
Please don't turn me in, man!
402
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,128
I don't want to be Jaden Smith!
403
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:13,030
He's inherited his mother's
charm and his father's modesty!
404
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,133
It's okay, Rallo. Listen.
405
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,165
You're not going to juvie.
406
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,439
(sobbing)
407
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,337
What?
None of that was real.
408
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,339
My dad was just
pranking you back.
409
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,941
He got your mom
and everyone in town in on it.
410
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,113
Wow, a spanking would
have been so much easier
411
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:27,982
and just as effective.
412
00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:30,011
Liberal parents.
What are you gonna do?
413
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,016
Let's go.
Hell, no!
414
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:33,418
This ain't over.
415
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,950
Yay!
Naked forest party!
416
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,815
No, I'm gonna
fake my own death.
417
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,124
Gonna throw this
dummy off that cliff
418
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:43,026
and show Mom and Cleveland
what scared really is.
419
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,129
Then, 12 years from now,
I will return to town
420
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:46,501
posing as an eccentric
millionaire.
421
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,629
(yells)
(shrieks)
422
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:51,595
(screams)
423
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,974
(echoing):
Help!
424
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,273
I'm his only hope.
425
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,136
And I can do it, because I am...
426
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:02,905
a Freedom Scout
expelled for sexual misconduct!
427
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,346
This is crazy,
this is crazy, this is crazy.
428
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:06,751
(grunts)
429
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,693
Ooh, ah, ee, ooh.
430
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,926
Look at us, tramping
around the woods,
431
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,757
no idea where
we're going.
432
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,162
Rallo's probably
laughing at us right now.
433
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:21,034
Just sitting up
in heaven laughing at us.
434
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:22,874
Look, there he is!
435
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,136
(screaming)
436
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,539
Rallo!
437
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,570
Oh, my God, it's Junior!
438
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,640
He's trying
to save Rallo!
439
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,306
Who cares?
440
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,645
Oh, you said "Rallo."
441
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,319
For some reason,
I thought you said "Adam."
442
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,818
I was like, "Who's Adam?"
443
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,449
(laughs) Isn't that funny?
444
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,094
But yeah, the Rallo thing.
I hope he does save him.
445
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,863
(choking and grunting)
446
00:18:57,836 --> 00:18:59,336
(whimpering)
447
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,609
Help!
448
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,712
Wait, my floaty pants badge!
449
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,194
Help!
450
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:16,747
Damn.
451
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:20,186
I think that dumb-ass
gave me a Mr. Pibb.
452
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,325
He's shooting the rapids!
453
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,031
R-r-r-radical!
454
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,104
(screaming)
455
00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:40,713
(slowed-down yell)
456
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:49,585
(both panting)
457
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:52,786
Thanks, Junior.
458
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,292
You saved my life.
459
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,864
Of course, Rallo.
460
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,032
You'd do it for me.
461
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,600
Well, I agree
with the sentiment,
462
00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,858
but I just
don't see me
463
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,526
lifting your fat ass
out of the water.
464
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,044
Yeah, I'd probably
just drown.
465
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,497
(both laughing)
466
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,710
Junior, I am honored
to present to you
467
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,141
the following merit badges:
468
00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:16,176
rock climbing
and whitewater rafting.
469
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:19,282
Which makes you the youngest
Chief Scout ever.
470
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,345
Never in the history
of the Scouts
471
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,854
has anything anyone's
learned for a badge
472
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,656
been put to actual use.
473
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,288
These are busy-work tasks,
474
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:29,333
designed to keep
young boys
475
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,999
from sitting around,
bending their Beckhams.
476
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,328
But that is neither here...
477
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,304
nor...
478
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,202
there!
479
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,614
(crowd applauds)
480
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:44,207
I'm drunk on the firewater
of personal achievement!
481
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:47,480
So, Rallo, have you learned
your lesson about pranks?
482
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,980
Absolutely.
483
00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:50,922
Hey, did you know
that if your hand
484
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,577
is bigger than your face,
you're gay?
485
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,145
Really?
486
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:55,653
(deep sigh)
487
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:56,945
This is big.
488
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,956
(smack)
(Cleveland yells, Rallo laughs)
489
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,988
CLEVELAND: Ah, now I got
a bloody nose and I'm gay!
490
00:21:01,038 --> 00:21:05,588
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