All language subtitles for The Cleveland Show s03e12 Til Deaf.eng

(funky disco plays)
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown

♪ And I am proud to be

♪ Right back in my hometown

♪ With my new family

♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪

♪ And even a bear

♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪

♪ It's true love we share

♪ And so I found a place

♪ Where everyone will know

♪ My happy mustached face

♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪

(chuckles)

Can someone let me in?

Something's blocking the door.

DONNA: Cleveland, stop,
or you'll break it.

Is that
our heating duct?

It was.

Now it's my
first art piece--

The Large Intestine of God.

Go ahead, crawl through it.

(groans)

Okay.

(clears throat)

(echoing):
Wow, this is...

You did it, Donna,
you really did it.

I'm a sculptor now.

It's my second career.

Well, that and I'm
going to sell the house

as a rental property
and be the manager.

Sweetie, do you think
you could possibly,

maybe be having
some sort

of midlife crisis?

I'm not the one in crisis!

You're the one in crisis!

Oh, Cleveland,
I'm sorry.

I just need to be held.

What is happening to me?

It's okay, you're just going
through the terrible 42s.

Is that how old
you think I am?!

(sobbing)

Because you're right!

(sobbing)

CLEVELAND:
I'm missing the game.

(grunting)

Cleveland,
are you trying

to use the Force
to get the remote?

No.

You will make me
a roast beef sandwich

and a glass
of tomato juice.

Make your own
damn sandwich.

There is another.

You will make me a
roast beef sandwich

and a glass of
tomato juice.

Yes, milord.

Good, good.

(indistinct chatter)

(whistling)

(intercom beeps)

ERNIE (over intercom):
Mr. President,

Principal Farquhar
here to see you.

(beeps)
Send him in.

Mr. President.

Mr. Principal.

Mr. Pibb?

Thank you.
Thank you.

So, you nervous that you're
up for reelection on Tuesday?

(blows raspberry)
Hardly.

My record is impeccable

and wartime presidents
are always reelected.

Well, thanks
to your hard work, Junior,

I've had more time
to expand the repertoire

of my a cappella singing group
The Fluffers.

(all snapping fingers)

♪ Bom-bom-bom... ♪
♪ I see you driving 'round town ♪

♪ With the girl I love

♪ Bom-bom-bom... ♪
♪ And I'm like, (bleep) you

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ I guess the change
in my pocket wasn't enough ♪

♪ Bom-bom-bom... ♪
♪ I'm like, (bleep) you

♪ And (bleep) her, too

♪ I said, if I was richer,
I'd still be with ya ♪

♪ Bom-bom-bom... ♪
♪ Ain't that some (bleep)?

♪ Ain't that some (bleep)? ♪

♪ Although there's
pain in my chest ♪

♪ I still wish you the best
with a (bleep) you ♪

♪ And (bleep) her, too. ♪

(gunshot, screaming)

Dang, missed again.

Aw, who am I kidding?

I can't hurt
a healthy snack.

Guys, I'm not sure
about the hunting trip.

Haven't found the right moment
to run it by Donna yet.

Not like I need
a permission slip or anything.

Got mine--
signed by my mom.

If I even mention it,
she'll flip out.

Something's got her
all insane in the fem-brain.

I don't know
what to do.

ALL:
Lie to her.

Okay!

(sighing)

I loves when I can
taste the fish sticks

all up in
your mouth.

(sighing)

(blows)

Hey, I've issued
an executive order

barring PDA
in the cafeteria.

What gives you the right
to tell a woman

what she can and cannot do
with her own "foyne" body?

'Cause I'm student body
president and what I say goes.

I declare a tax
on those fish sticks.

Hey!

Want a refund?

(belches)

Dag, Ro, your stepbro
has gots to go.

Hey, whoa, that rhyme
was pretty fly.

Do black people
still say "fly"?

I don't know.

Just because a bunch
of nerds voted for him,

he thinks
he's so fly.

Well, it's a new day
at Stoolbend High School.

I'm taking him down.

Aw, paradigm
shift, yo.

Ooh-ooh!

(groans)

(microphone feeds back)

Now, running unopposed,
The Great Communicator,

Cleveland Brown Jr.

What is service?

I believe...
ROBERTA: Hold up!

Roberta?

♪

What are you
doing, Roberta?

And where did you
get those clothes?

I brought 'em from my home
right here in Stoolbend,

which is the greatest city in
the great country of Virginia.

You betcha.

(cheering)

And I'm announcing my candidacy
for student body president

because we need a leader,
not an eater.

(all laughing)

That's funny and incisive.

Is that the level of discourse
we want at our school?

She got boobies.

Did somebody say "boobies"?

(cheering)

See, I told you
voters were dumb.

Now, get some
stupid chant going.

Ro, baby, Ro!
Ro, baby, Ro!

ALL:
Ro, baby, Ro!

Ro, baby, Ro!
Ro, baby, Ro!

The dignity of the office
must be preserved.

Ernie, start a chant.

Sure.

Junior's fat!
Junior's fat!

ALL:
Junior's fat!

Junior's fat! Junior's fat!

(recorder playing "Michael Row
the Boat Ashore")

So, for only $7,000,
I could record a demo.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Honey, what if sometime in
the extremely near future,

some friends of
mine-- say, the guys--

invited me on
a hunting trip?

Absolutely not.

Your drunken friends
with firearms?

You could get killed.

(playing "Taps")

(voice breaking):
Then what would I do?

I suppose I'd start over.

Dye my hair blonde.

Do you think I'd look good
with blonde hair?

Is that your thing?

No.

On an unrelated
note, you see

all these bags
I've got packed here?

Well, I got to go
to a mandatory nonhunting

cable installers'
weekend training seminar

I just found out about.

It's on how to hold in your...

(clears throat)

...farts
while in customers' homes.

Oh, my God, Cleveland,
you need that course,

and if it's mandatory...

Yep, love you.

Play me out.

(playing The Cleveland Show
theme song)

(chuckles)

I just feel so
guilty for lying

to poor, unstable,
annoying Donna.

Oh, hoo-boo-boo.

Just for that...

(grunts)

(all cheering)

CLEVELAND:
Yeah!

(belches)

Let's get drunk
and use firearms!

(all cheering)

I wondered when I'd
be hearing from you.

You got me
elected before.

I need you
to do it again.

(whistles)

Must be eleventy billion dollars
in here.

Play it rough.

You know they will.

Just don't let me know
how you do it.

Of course, Mr. President.

So, Rallo, did you take
the bus here, or...?

No, Mama's out
in the car.

Okay, let's go.

Yo, man, is my hat staying on?

(snoring)

Dear Deer, you're dead.

Love, Lester.

CC: Kendra.

(zips up)

Aah, my bright
orange hat!

Oh, my God.

He was breaking into my house.

Calm down,
he's not hit.

C-Bro,
are you okay?

(inaudible)

I can't hear!

I want to have sex
with your wife.

Oh, that felt so good to say.

Me, too.
Yep.

Anything?

What?!

Oh, well, I thought
that might reverse it.

You'd be surprised
how often that works.

The good news is,
it's a temporary impairment.

You'll regain
hearing

within a week.

Great! But what do
I tell my wife?

If she finds out I lied to her
and went on a hunting trip,

she'll go all Elin Woods on me!

A'ight, then.

Cleveland, you should know,

you're speaking
much louder than...

Oh, I don't care.

Hello, ma'am.
Hiya, sport.

Oh, no, that
kid's gonna die!

I'm home...

Yah!

We are suing
the Rite Aid.

Remember last month
when I told you

about that cashier bitch

who always judges me when
I buy antifungal cream?

Well, yesterday...

(inaudible)

Yeah, yep, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yep.

Cleveland, sincerely, tell
me, was I in the wrong?

(gulps)

I agree with you.

Finally, someone hears
what I'm saying.

Now, come upstairs, I want to
give my man a real homecoming.

But first, let me recap

last night's entire
True Blood for you.

You know Sookie, the one with
the worst teeth on the show?

Well, she can cast
a spell on a...

I think I'm onto something.

Huh?
You heard that?

I said, "I think
you've lost weight."

You better get
in the basement.

Bedroom's too clean for
what I'm about to do to you.

(giggles)

Voting closed two hours ago.
What have you heard?

How were the exit polls?

Have any of the major networks
declared a winner?

Uh, no, Junior.

The major networks have
not yet weighed in

on your dumbass high school
election.

Relax, man.

Wally doesn't count
the votes till 2:00.

So I broke into
his office. Whoa-whoa-whoa.

Do you have another one
of those Blow Pops?

Uh, yeah.
Here you go.

Mm.

Mm-mm-mm.

Anyway, I broke into Wally's
office and took care of it.

We golden.

Really?
What'd you do?

Let's just say it'll be
pretty hard

for Roberta
to win without these.

That's a lot of votes.

That's all her votes.
Every single one of them.

Landslide, Junior.

Every single...

You stole every
vote she got?!

Do you have any idea how
suspicious that looks?

You gotta fix it.

Break into Farquhar's
office again

and put back enough
of those ballots

so it doesn't look fishy.

(bell ringing)

That's a bingo.

(clearing throat)

Junior!
Junior told me to do it!

All Junior's fault!
I'll wear a wire!

(loudly): Guys! I've got an
incredible secret. Huddle up.

I cracked the code.

I found the only three sentences
we need to say to women.

One:

Two:

And three:

Love it. Love lists.
Love letters.

Wrote 30 of them
to Meredith Vieira.

Asked repeatedly for a picture
of her squatting over a mirror.

Closest I got was a Today Show
promo picture of Matt, Al,

and Hoda Kotb squatting
over a mirror.

Al had it fogged up, though.
Couldn't see anything.

Is he telling the
Al Roker story again?

(inaudible)

(voice slowly fades in): ...this
one is called Vanilla,

and the other one
is called Vanilla Bean.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God. (Donna talking)

I can hear! Oh, no!

Oh, here we are.

Cleveland, are you okay?

Yup. Just poopin'.
Okay.

While you're in there, take
a look at that wallpaper.

You know my old collection
of sea glass

that you always say does not
belong in our bedroom?

How about if we make
a mosaic of... (voice fading)

(loudly): I know exactly
how you feel, and I think you've lost weight!

Aw.

(inaudible)

CLEVELAND:
God, Pictionary sucks.

I love not having
to hear my family.

Uh-oh.
Something's happening.

We're happy and
jumping. Yay!

So anyway, I sure am hungry.

Yeah.
Me, too. Tell me about it.

Yep. Ready... for...
din-din!

Uh, where's your mother
with the damn dinner?

She left, man.

To obtain dinner from
a take-out emporium,

or automat cafeteria, or...

No, dummy.

She left for Florida,
like we talked about.

Yeah. Ms. Donna
announced her plans...

...to quit my job
and move to...

Florida.

That's right.

Where I will attend the
University of Miami

for six months to get
my graduate degree

in Marine Biology with a
concentration in Dolphin History

while Cleveland takes care of
you kids and all the housework.

The midlife crisis is over.

Yay!

Find yourself, Mama.
The U!

We're happy and
jumping. Yay!

But the thing you've neglected
to mention is how the hell

Miss Homecoming Queen expected
to pay for all this?!

That was my favorite part.

She asked if she could sell
your whole collection

of baseball cards and stuff,
and you said,

"I hear your truth.

I honor your womanhood."

Oh, God.
But I don't.

(screaming)
My treasured keepsakes.

(whimpering)

No! It's gone!
It's all gone!

Well, at least she
didn't sell my old sub shop mascot costume.

(wolf whistle)
(whimpers)

Now I remember why I keep
this in the attic.

...so I've got to drive
all night to Florida,

because I hadn't actually heard
a word of Donna's plan

to attend school
there until now.

But it does explain her
emotional good-bye this morning.

(sobbing)

I'm the luckiest woman
alive to have a husband

who would go so far
to support my dream.

Slender!

All right, people.

The hand goes up,
the mouths go shut.

I'm here to announce
the results of the inquiry

into the results
of the election.

BOY:
Sounds boring.

I'm declaring Roberta Tubbs
the first female president

in Stoolbend High history.
(gasps)

(cheering)

It is an honor and a privigen
to be your president.

Of course, y'all didn't elect me
for politics as usual.

Therefore, I have decided
to resign,

so that I may better serve
Stoolbend High

from outside the office
of president

where I don't have to do
extra work,

or go to a bunch
of stupid meetings.

Plus, I've proven my point.

Uh... boobies.

That's two points.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

(scattered applause)

Wha-- seriously?

She resigned?

All right, anyone else
want to be president?

Junior, you probably
want to do it, right?

Do I?

Yippee!

(chanting):
Junior's fat.

ALL:
Junior's fat.

Junior's fat,
Junior's fat...

The two-party system is a joke.

Did anybody else see that
little kid disappear?

Hello?

Find employment.

Cleveland?! What
are you doing here?

Donna, manners.

Aren't you going to introduce
me to your friends? Fine.

This is Kirsten,
and this is Celia.

I'm beginning to matriculate.

How are the kids?
Is Rallo taking his baths?

Who won the election?
Who's watching them?

I don't know.

But right now, that's so far
down the list of reasons

for you to be angry at me.

Celia, Kristen-- could
you give us a moment?

Actually, could you stay where
you were, but turn around?

Thank you.

Donna, when I told
you I was attending

a cable installers'
seminar, I lied.

(gasps)

I actually went on
a hunting trip,

where a stray gunshot caused me
to go deaf for a few days.

I hid my hearing loss from you

by simply agreeing
to everything you said.

Wait. You said you went
deaf for a few days.

Ah! Man talking.

At that point, I had
begun using earplugs

so as not to hear
the sound of your voice.

Oh, Donna, can you ever forgive
me for behaving so unlikably?

(sobbing)

I should thank you
for this stupid stunt.

Because when you
agreed with me,

it made me believe
I could achieve my dream.

And now my crisis
is over. I'm happy.

All right.

And I don't want to put
too fine a point on this,

but technically,
I didn't really agree with you,

which means you can't
achieve your dream, so...

Hmm...

Sorry, Cleveland.

For too long, it's been
about everybody else.

But now, it's got to be
about me, too.

Donna, wait.
(sighs)

Donna, you're my dream.

You always have been.

Good-bye, Cleveland.

Celia, wait!

DONNA:
Good-bye, Cleveland.

I don't remember
the other girl's name.

(rat squeaking)
Ha-ha! Ten points.

Boys, stop it. No.
(door opens and closes)

Donna? You're not supposed
to visit until next weekend.

Yeah, well,
I'm home. For good.

What is that smell?

The rats got diarrhea.

Thank God you're back.

But why did you
change your mind?

Cleveland, I love you,

but I don't trust you
to raise my children.

I don't trust you at all.

And what I can see
bears out that judgment.

Okay.
Where're your friends?

And, I'm going to stop
holding myself back

from shooting for everything
I've ever dreamed of,

having a wonderful family
and a great career.

But from now on,
there are going to be

some serious changes
in our marriage.

First of all, you are no longer
spending every other night

with your buddies because I am
transferring to Stoolbend U

where I will continue
my studies.

I am, however, modifying my
curriculum to include...

You look pretty. Is Celia
coming or the other one?

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