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1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:04,695
(funky disco plays)
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,005
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,168
♪ Right back in my hometown
4
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:12,106
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,183
♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪
6
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,451
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,750
♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪
8
00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:20,253
♪ It's true love we share
9
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,524
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,863
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:27,029
♪ My happy mustached face
12
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,088
♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪
13
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,196
(chuckles)
14
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:39,640
(chuckles)
I loved that movie.
15
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,970
All I can say is,
Heil, Heigl.
16
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:44,106
Offensive to some.
17
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,541
Son, you know
I value
18
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,846
our time together.
19
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,447
As do I, Papar.
20
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,119
Do not...
People are...
21
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:51,977
I... (groans)
22
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:54,686
Thank you for asking me to be
your date tonight--
23
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:58,088
preesh the Dotz--
but perhaps, in the future,
24
00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:00,032
you could invite a young lady
you're sweet on.
25
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,027
Hey, Junior!
(spits)
26
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:05,459
Ernie Krinklesac,
as I live and breathe.
27
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:06,766
Junior, Mr. Brown,
28
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,127
this here's my new
girlfriend Sharla.
29
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:10,635
Sharla Krinklesac.
No relation.
30
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:11,638
Hopefully!
31
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,009
BOTH:
Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!
32
00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:14,337
See, Junior?
33
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,311
Your hayseed friend
is with a girl,
34
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,940
and he seems
to be having fun.
35
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,975
Yup. So's our neighbor
Raymond over there
36
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,250
with his new bessie!
37
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,452
(both moaning)
38
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,023
(both moaning)
39
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:31,823
(moaning)
40
00:01:31,826 --> 00:01:34,386
I'm gonna lick you
down to nothing.
41
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,104
(screams)
42
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,543
Is the candy for me?
43
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,767
No, son,
44
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,942
it's for the girl you're
gonna woo today.
45
00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:48,041
Woo who?
46
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,181
Are you excited or are
you asking which girl
47
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,007
we're gonna woo today?
48
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:54,712
I'm not sure.
But I'm eating the candy.
49
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,275
Junior, listen to me.
50
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,183
Your friends all
have girlfriends
51
00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,985
and you deserve
one, too.
52
00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:03,957
So now you will begin
love lessons from the master.
53
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,018
Mace Windu?!
54
00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,985
No, not a Jedi Master.
55
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,634
A love master! Me!
56
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,529
Our first lesson
is down the hall.
57
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,474
You mean Whitney?
58
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,299
She's a nice girl.
59
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:21,114
No, she's a gazelle,
and you're a panther.
60
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,668
Can I be
the Pink Panther?
61
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:23,676
No!
62
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,707
Now go ask her
for a date.
63
00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:27,983
But don't be sweet,
cuddly Junior.
64
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:30,682
Be Mace Windu,
the tough Jedi
65
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,954
who won't take no
for an answer.
66
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:35,153
Little tip: always mimic
her body language.
67
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:36,616
It'll put her at ease.
68
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:37,694
Go!
69
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:42,225
(lightsaber powering up)
70
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:45,327
Oh, hi, Junior.
71
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,472
Oh, hi, Whitney.
72
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:49,267
I want to take you out.
And before you answer,
73
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:52,000
I should warn you,
my Force is strong.
74
00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:54,136
If you say no,
I'll use my Force on you.
75
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,341
I'll Force you right here
against the lockers.
76
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,443
And you can say no
all you want,
77
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:00,845
but I'll just keep
Forcing you.
78
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,148
(screams)
(screams)
79
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,220
(hissing sound, Junior screams)
80
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:08,152
(screaming)
81
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:10,085
Oh, God,
she pepper-sprayed him.
82
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,320
She maced Windu.
83
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,055
Ba-da-bop-bada-bop!
84
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,331
(hushed):
Junior, What did the girls's bathroom look like?
85
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:32,012
Buddy, did you
notice the way
86
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,782
the chubby server-girl
with the moles on
87
00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:35,611
the back of her neck
smiled at you?
88
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:36,816
Yeah.
89
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,977
Well, you're chubby
and you have a mole
90
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,846
on the back
of your neck.
91
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:43,264
Actually, that's a Hershey's
Kiss I'm saving for later.
92
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:44,457
May I have it?
93
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:45,688
No.
94
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,033
Maybe I could share it
with her.
95
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,287
Well, okay.
96
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:50,955
Um... do you work here?
97
00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:53,095
No, I'm stealing
the plates.
98
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,130
Oh, I should probably
tell the management.
99
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,295
That was a joke.
100
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:57,303
Oh.
101
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,104
(laughs nervously)
102
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,113
The people in this booth
left some chips,
103
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,679
if you want to split them
with...
104
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,877
Yes.
105
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,150
I'm gonna step out the way
and let you do your thang.
106
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:12,119
And see if you can find
out why salsa's free
107
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,989
but you gotta pay
for guacamole.
108
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:20,585
Wow.
(door opens)
109
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,004
Hello!
110
00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:25,127
(grunting)
111
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:26,772
A little help, Dad?
112
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:27,927
(groans)
113
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,995
(grunting)
114
00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:31,995
Thanks.
115
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,505
Normally, that would make me
want to punch the house,
116
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:37,138
but nothing can
bring me down today.
117
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:38,314
I'm in love!
118
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,552
Te amo, Cecilia!
119
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,977
Wow, Junior.
Seems like things are getting
120
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,653
serious between you and your
121
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:47,292
(high mocking voice):
girlfriend, ooh-hoo-hoo!
122
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:50,088
Yeah. And her family
wants to meet you.
123
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,320
They invited all of us
124
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,125
to their restaurant
for dinner tonight.
125
00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:56,327
(mocking):
Dinner, ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
126
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:01,365
I think there's more food
on this menu
127
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,198
than there is in the kitchen.
128
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:06,203
And how is a three cheese
enchilada a heart-smart option?
129
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,836
And why am I taller
than all the busboys?
130
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,812
Be quiet and eat
your menu lettuce.
131
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,351
Here she comes.
132
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:16,147
Hey, Junior.
How you doing?
133
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,480
Fine, thank you.
134
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,015
Well, that was rude.
135
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,530
Mi amor!
136
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,457
(gasps)
But, wha...?
137
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:31,032
Junior, that fat one'd be
138
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,931
none-too-pleased see you here
139
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,933
talking with this
good-looking one.
140
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,125
Huh?
141
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,096
I think your papiis being confused.
142
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,265
Señor Brown,
I am Cecilia,
143
00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:42,844
The girl who has
brought you the chips
144
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,513
is my cousin, Flora.
145
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,381
And Flora introduced us.
146
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,918
Am... am I dreaming?!
147
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,922
Nope.
148
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,755
Ah! Salas-eye!
149
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,998
You want me to do the avion?
150
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,171
Por favor.
151
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,939
(mimics airplane engine)
152
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:14,008
Oh, because it was so hard
to get him to eat before.
153
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,537
So, if you're 16,
154
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,442
how come you don't go
to Stoolbend High?
155
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:20,054
I came from Mexico
only a few weeks ago.
156
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,307
I work full-time here
at my aunt's restaurant.
157
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,976
But I am hoping
to become a nurse.
158
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,315
A nurse, you say?
159
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,990
What a perfect match.
160
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:31,518
Junior's future is sure to be
riddled with medical problems.
161
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,855
And I worry.
162
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,131
Hey...!
163
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:36,999
Junior said you'd be
the best-looking
164
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,497
middle-aged black
couple in the place.
165
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,000
(laughs)
166
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,441
I'm Cecilia's Aunt Choni.
Did you like the food?
167
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,037
It's Mexican food.
It's the same everywhere.
168
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,609
I'm so happy my niece
found Junior.
169
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,809
I want to throw a big fiesta
for the two of them.
170
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,452
That means "nap."
171
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,607
Uh, excuse me?
No, no, no.
172
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,476
It's a big,
traditional Mexican party.
173
00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,615
Are you Mexican?
174
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,350
You sound Puerto Rican.
175
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:03,115
I went to college
in Puerto Rico
176
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,193
and the accent's the
only thing I learned.
177
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,532
Oh.
178
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,957
Ah, you should come!
179
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:11,361
We have dancing, a piñata,
a drunk man walking around
180
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:14,025
with a million inflatable toys
tied to a stick.
181
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,774
(laughs)
182
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,299
And plenty of food to
fatten this one up.
183
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:21,935
(giggles)
Come on, Tía Choni, no moleste!
184
00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:27,305
(sighs)
All right, Cleveland,
185
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:29,414
why'd you dig out
your ol' Smug Suspenders?
186
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:31,016
Oh, these old things?
187
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,818
Perhaps because I'm feeling
superior today.
188
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,861
In fact,
sock-garter superior.
189
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,657
Hmm?
190
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,689
This should be
a doozy.
191
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,334
The dooziest.
192
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,829
It would seem
my beloved son has become
193
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,932
the object
of a young lady's affections.
194
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,104
What, a blind chick thought
he was a beanbag chair
195
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,702
and sat on his face?
196
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:51,974
(all laugh)
197
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,102
Tosh-funny!
198
00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:55,766
Hey, Dad.
Got your text.
199
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:58,276
Here's the cordless sander you
asked me to bring from home.
200
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,148
Oh, thank you.
I need that.
201
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,747
Oh, and while
you're here,
202
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,448
why don't you...
introduce the guys
203
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:07,921
to your... girlfriend?
204
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:11,661
I am hearing so much
about all of you.
205
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,988
Don't worry,
all bueno.
206
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,763
(both chuckle, sigh)
207
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,832
(boinging)
208
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,528
(ooga horn blasts)
209
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:21,504
There we go.
210
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,642
Okay, all done. Bye-bye.
211
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,797
Oh, and Junior,
put the sander back in
212
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:26,966
the garage, good boy?
213
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:30,144
Okay, bye-bye
everybody.
214
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,713
Uh, Cleveland,
I don't mean
215
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,452
to fart on your
French fries,
216
00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:35,777
but you do realize
this makes you look bad.
217
00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,022
Come again?
218
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,917
Your son's girlfriend is hotter
than your wife.
219
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:39,989
He outranked you.
220
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:41,787
Brody-Jennered your Bruce,
beeotch.
221
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,088
That's unfair!
222
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,020
You're comparing
my 42-year-old wife
223
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,425
to a 16-year-old girl.
224
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,787
Took that into account.
225
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,495
Really good at snapping photos
of chicks
226
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:51,957
when they're not looking.
227
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,025
Used the smartphone app
to age it up.
228
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:57,943
Mucho hotter.
229
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:58,968
Yup.
230
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,372
Your boy has outdone you.
231
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:03,114
I'm not in competition
with my son.
232
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,980
And how dare you suggest
otherwise?!
233
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,508
It's an ugly thought.
Ugly!
234
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:10,084
My wife is a beautiful,
mature woman.
235
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,853
Cecilia is just a child.
236
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,093
When she's been
with as many men
237
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,888
as my wife,
then we'll talk!
238
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:26,567
(both giggle)
239
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:28,426
(chomping)
240
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:38,140
Ooh, more cheesy bread!
241
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:41,205
Hope they brought some
for y'all, too, ha-ha!
242
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:45,275
I think we've all had enough
cheesy bread.
243
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,515
What?
244
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,690
Señora Brown, for you
to call and invite me
245
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:53,090
on this double date with
you and your big husband,
246
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,933
my heart is... so smiling.
247
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,959
Thank you.
248
00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:01,095
Well, gracias to you
for putting a lot of fears
249
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,271
we had about Junior
to rest.
250
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,970
Startin' to worry 'bout
this boy ovah heah!
251
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,513
Not flattering.
252
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,037
Boy, hot in here.
253
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,942
Anyone else want
to remove
254
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,044
their bulky,
clownish jacket?
255
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,206
It is kinda stuffy.
256
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,584
This'll help, too.
257
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,252
Cleveland,
what are you...? (chord strummed)
258
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,580
Buenas noches.
259
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:21,315
A song for
the señoritas?
260
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,991
Actually, yeah.
Can I borrow your guitar?
261
00:10:29,595 --> 00:10:32,295
(plays flamenco riff)
262
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,029
(Cecilia gasps)
263
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:39,501
♪ Cecilia...
264
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:42,936
♪ Como aquellos juguetes
265
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:45,883
Okay, he is not fluent
in Spanish.
266
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:49,409
♪ Que yo tuve en los dias
267
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:52,076
And he's never played guitar.
Never!
268
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,645
♪ Infantiles de ayer
269
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:59,686
It is unrealistic for him to
suddenly gain these abilities.
270
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,933
♪ Mi Junior
271
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,929
Oh, the duet. Of course.
272
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,602
♪ Como el beso Robado
273
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:10,672
Hey, another Jack,
straight up.
274
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:13,371
♪ Como el llanto llorado
275
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,773
Cleveland, you're
driving tonight.
276
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,036
Driving into a tree.
277
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:23,424
BOTH:
♪ Por un hondo placer.
278
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,647
(cheering and applause)
279
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:32,361
That was the most romantic thing
I have ever seen in my life.
280
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,859
Like I didn't just take you
to Wrestlemannia.
281
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:38,661
Cleveland, you are jealous
of your 14-year-old son.
282
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:40,665
Ooh, that is sad
on a cracker.
283
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:43,697
Me?! Jealous of Junior?
For what?
284
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,504
It's not like he got
to meet my boyhood idol...
285
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,006
Johnny Bench?!
286
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:51,338
Oh, my God, I can't believe
I'm actually meeting you.
287
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:54,014
Oh, hey. I was just letting
my new buddy Junior know
288
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:56,154
that I'm buying dinner for him,
his gorgeous young girlfriend,
289
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,519
and her grandmother.
290
00:11:57,517 --> 00:12:00,087
She is not old enough
to be her grandmother.
291
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,987
In my community, she is.
292
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:04,688
It's a thrill to meet you,
Johnny Bench.
293
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,691
Nice to meet you, guy
whose son's girlfriend
294
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,233
is hotter than his wife.
295
00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:13,002
Oh, Cleveland, glad you're here.
296
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,869
Settle an argument, will you?
297
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,868
Would you say Cecilia
is beautiful or gorgeous?
298
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,141
I said "beautiful,"
Tim said "gorgeous,"
299
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,270
Holt tragically said
"Whoomp, there it is."
300
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:25,275
I am so sick of hearing
about "Cecilia.
301
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,448
Ooh, cuchi-cuchi."
302
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,977
She's not that hot.
303
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:31,622
And even if she was--
which she is--
304
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:34,488
does anyone find her
"great love" with Junior
305
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:36,088
the least bit suspicious?
306
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,459
Yup.
I do.
307
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,117
Yeah.
It's weird. Yeah, he's fat.
308
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,326
He's not fat.
309
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,627
But if he was--
which he is--
310
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:45,529
why would someone like her
be with someone like him?
311
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,932
He's only 14 years old.
312
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,604
And I worry.
313
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:50,773
She's crazy.
314
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,701
All hot girls are crazy.
315
00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:54,966
But not all crazy girls are hot.
316
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,005
She could be a
chubby chaser.
317
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,940
I've heard such
weirdos exist.
318
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,975
Well, I'm going to a party
at their house tomorrow night
319
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:04,652
and I'm going to find out
what's really going on.
320
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:07,591
Because no one takes
advantage of Junior.
321
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,457
You sold him a Super Ball
yesterday for 60 bucks.
322
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,587
It was my bounciest one.
Went over the house.
323
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,932
♪
(children laughing)
324
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,367
Hey, how you doing?
325
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,140
Rallo Tubbs.
Great to meet you. Yeah.
326
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,468
Rallo Tubbs. Hey.
327
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,473
Just want you to know
I'm cool with you.
328
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,135
So, remember this face
329
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,113
when you're outnumbering the
rest of us in a few years.
330
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,512
Yeah, yeah.
331
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:36,823
Rallo Tubbs. Who... who is cool
with you. Yeah.
332
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:38,017
Don't hurt me.
333
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,018
I'm worried, Donna.
334
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,320
About Junior?
335
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,021
No, about that baby having
its ears pierced.
336
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,864
And Junior, too.
337
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:49,459
I mean, how much do we
really know about Cecilia?
338
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:52,502
Oye, amigos.Atención, por favor.
339
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:57,469
I just want to say how happy
I am that Fudgy the Whale here
340
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,970
rrrrrrrolled into our lives.
341
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,343
Mi casa es su casa.
342
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,812
Hey, don't stick me
with that foreclosure.
343
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,041
(laughing)
344
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:10,754
(woman screams)
345
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,180
Immigration and Customs
Enforcement.
346
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,316
Here's our warrant.
For what?
347
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,522
We received a call that you're
harboring an illegal immigrant,
348
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,094
named... Cecilia Moreno.
349
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:23,963
You called to have
the poor girl deported?
350
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,534
I didn't... it wasn't...
351
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,832
How darrrrrre you,
352
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:32,774
Señorrrrr Brrrrrown.
353
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:36,312
You rrrrratted out my
rrrrrrr-niece.
354
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,009
I swear, I did not.
355
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,651
Hey, how do you do that anyway?
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
356
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:41,977
Ah, forget it.
357
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,475
Junior.
358
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:48,985
I have to leave.
No, Cecilia.
359
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,719
We do.
360
00:14:57,096 --> 00:15:00,156
(grunts)
361
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,034
Junior?
362
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,136
Donna, where'd Junior go?
363
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,267
Junior?!
364
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,972
Juniorrrrrr!
365
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:10,284
All right, I got it!
366
00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:18,182
Hey, Cleveland.
You're welcome.
367
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:20,524
Lester, you called immigration?
368
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,620
Yeah, the redneck did it,
plot twist of the century.
369
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,923
Oh, Lester.
370
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:28,685
Well, Junior always wanted
371
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:32,695
to be abducted by an alien.
372
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,373
Junior!
373
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,468
Thank God you're all right.
374
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,670
Oh, I'm better
than all right.
375
00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:42,114
I'm married.
376
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,438
So, now Cecilia can stay
in the country.
377
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,884
With my husband.
378
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,524
(knocking)
379
00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:02,658
So, son,
380
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:06,032
quite a Latin bombshell
you dropped last night.
381
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,032
Well, that's what's up.
382
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,934
Well, I'm not
entirely convinced
383
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,936
a 14-year-old boy
can get married.
384
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:14,038
We live in Virginia,
where as long
385
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:17,040
as two dudes aren't trying to
get married, anything goes.
386
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:21,013
Well, Cecilia's at our new
apartment, so I gotta bounce.
387
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,924
Apartment?! All right,
end of insanity.
388
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:27,017
You are forbidden from ever
seeing that girl again.
389
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,790
Cecilia is my wife.
390
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,488
And none of this
would be happening
391
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,820
if you hadn't shot your mouth
off to Mr. Krinklesac
392
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,086
because you didn't believe
a girl like Cecilia
393
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,525
could find me worthwhile.
394
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:37,929
That's what hurts.
395
00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:40,201
Have a nice life.
Thanks, man.
396
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,370
Wait a minute!
397
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,868
Good luck, buddy.
398
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:47,070
Oh, man, she gonna
get smushed.
399
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:56,078
Well, Larry,
tonight's the night.
400
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,752
Can I be honest with you?
401
00:16:57,751 --> 00:16:58,981
I'm scared.
402
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,845
I have no idea
what's going to happen
403
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,094
when Cecilia gets
in this bed with me.
404
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:06,589
Oh, I wish I hadn't fallen
asleep during Eyes Wide Shut.
405
00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:17,971
Is there room on that futon
for Mrs. Cleveland Brown Jr.?
406
00:17:17,971 --> 00:17:19,341
(deep romantic voice):
Yeah.
407
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,410
Junior, you are shaking.
408
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,013
What's wrong?
409
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,784
This is my first sleepover.
410
00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:31,753
With a girl?
411
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:33,151
No. Ever.
412
00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:42,985
Junior, what do you say tonight
I just put on my sweatpants
413
00:17:42,996 --> 00:17:45,026
and make us a tray of brownies?
414
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,601
(deep voice):
Yeah.
415
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:47,899
(laughing)
416
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:56,169
Combo cinco, extra queso.
417
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,936
Cuidado. Plato caliente.
418
00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,914
Ay, Dios mio.
419
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:03,013
Hey, Junior, there's a black
couple at table six,
420
00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:05,016
so you know what that means.
421
00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:08,018
No tip. )
422
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:09,621
No, I'm kidding,
it's your parents.
423
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,762
You were right the first time.
424
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:15,288
Dad, I said I don't want
to talk to you and I meant it.
425
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,625
Now leave the balloons,
which are awesome, and get out of here.
426
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,171
Son, I wanted
to respect your wishes,
427
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:24,167
but Cecilia called and asked us
to bring you home.
428
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,040
Ha, ha, ha, Dad.
429
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:28,809
You're as funny as
a piñata full of bees.
430
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,138
Ha. You imagine
them kids?
431
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,984
"Help! Help!
There's bees!
432
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,849
They're stinging
our arms and such!"
433
00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:38,179
Who would do that to children?
434
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,924
Bad people.
435
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,919
I did call your
parents, Junior.
436
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,921
Wha... por qué, Cecilia?
437
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,463
(gasps)
Are you dumping me?
438
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:51,699
Ah, kids probably thought it was
a piñata but it was a beehive.
439
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:55,768
Junior, you are far too sweet
and too young to be married.
440
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,938
We are both too young.
441
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:01,037
So I'm ending it,
and I may be sent away,
442
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,140
but it's the
right thing to do,
443
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,113
and I'll always remember
what you did for me.
444
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,641
Sorry, son.
445
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,906
None of us wants to see the girl
in trouble, but she's right.
446
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,276
You're 14.
447
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,154
It's time for you
to end this sham.
448
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:17,023
Sweet burritos
and skeptical papacitos.
449
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,423
Ooh, I like her.
450
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:20,324
Why is it so hard
for you to believe
451
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:23,086
that my niece's feelings
for Junior could be real?
452
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:25,956
Well, I... I mean,
she's... (humming).
453
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,595
And him... mmm.
454
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,370
So you're really going to
look at your own marriage
455
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:31,970
and tell me that
a beautiful woman
456
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,911
can not be attracted
to a portly lover?
457
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,337
Portly where it counts.
458
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:41,613
Junior is the kindest,
gentlest soul I have ever known,
459
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,484
next to my own father.
460
00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:46,183
That explains a lot.
461
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,186
Good-bye, Junior.
462
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,118
If things had been different...
463
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:51,923
if you had been a little older
464
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:53,925
Wait. Let's stay married.
465
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:55,987
You'll live with your aunt,
I'll live with my parents.
466
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,655
And a few years from now,
467
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,864
maybe we'll meet up again
and fall in love for real.
468
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,026
Maybe not.
469
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,534
But you won't get deported
unless you cross me.
470
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,866
Junior, you would
do that for me? Sure.
471
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,443
Lots of married couples don't
sleep in the same bedroom.
472
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:12,512
Like the Clintons, or Elton
and Olivia Newton John.
473
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:13,912
Thank you.
474
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,913
You're a true friend.
475
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,831
Dad, I think I want
to have sex with my wife.
476
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,372
Junior, do you
know what sex is?
477
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:38,038
Well, when two people love
each other very much,
478
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:42,007
they hug each other
for a long time. Yeah.
479
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:47,908
And then once she's good and
warmed up, the man (bleep)...
480
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:52,684
(bleeping continues)
481
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:56,515
But that's only if you
have one of those swings. I need to live more.
482
00:20:56,565 --> 00:21:01,115
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