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1
00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:09,112
Okay, break time's over.
2
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:13,280
Disengage autopilot.
3
00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,021
(horn honking)
4
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:18,747
Whoo-hoo! Skip Day!
Cutting school!
5
00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:20,793
I'm homeschooled.
This is a normal d.
6
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,088
(tires squealing)
7
00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:27,027
You hear that, Cleveland?
It's Skip Day.
8
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,928
Remember Skip Day?
9
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:33,169
ALL (chanting):
Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry.
10
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:38,641
Wow, Terry, you're really good
at deep-throating stuff.
11
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,509
No wonder you're so popular
with the ladies.
12
00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,009
BOY:
Cleveland, you're up.
13
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,480
ALL (chanting):
Belly flop, belly flop,
14
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,179
belly flop,
belly flop.
15
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:50,352
(Tarzan yell)
16
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:59,262
Piranhas!
17
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,090
(loud snapping)
(yelling)
18
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,485
(all yelling)
19
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,256
Oh, no!
20
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,925
Skip Day!
21
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,033
BOY:
Cleveland... all right! (cheering)
22
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:15,509
(funky disco plays)
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
23
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,879
♪ And I am proud to be
24
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,048
♪ Right back in my hometown
25
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:22,977
♪ With my new family
26
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,023
♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪
27
00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:27,289
♪ And even a bear
28
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,618
♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪
29
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,123
♪ It's true love we share
30
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,425
♪ And so I found a place
31
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,757
♪ Where everyone will know
32
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,933
♪ My happy mustached face
33
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:40,132
♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪
34
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,934
(chuckles)
35
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,936
(bell ringing)
36
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,972
(sighs)
37
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:51,105
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome a man
38
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:53,782
for whom an introduction
is always necessary,
39
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:54,981
Principal Wally Farquhar.
40
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:57,152
Thank you, subordinate.
41
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:58,951
And welcome parents.
42
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,923
I've called you all here today
to witness the public scolding
43
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:04,322
of each student
who skipped school yesterday.
44
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,355
They're all awful,
awful children.
45
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,290
Shame on you.
46
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,495
Shame on you, shame on you,
shame on you,
47
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:13,168
shame on you,
Good for you, good for you,
48
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,767
shame on you...
good for you.
49
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,038
and shame on you.
50
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,437
There is one student
who will avoid
51
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,410
the wrath of the finger
of shame.
52
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:25,711
Oh, God.
53
00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:28,213
The only student
in a quarter century
54
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,845
to attend school
on Skip Day--
55
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,951
Cleveland Brown Jr.
56
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,153
(crowd booing)
57
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,985
Loser!
You suck!
58
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:39,790
Why didn't you tell me Junior
went to school yesterday?
59
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,993
I wasn't here.
It was Skip Day.
60
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,696
Cleveland Brown Jr.
will receive an award
61
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:48,828
named after the last student
to attend school on Skip Day--
62
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:52,336
the Wallace Farquhar Award
of Attendance Excellence,
63
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,309
known internationally
as The Farky.
64
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,809
ANNOUNCER: This is Cleveland
Brown Jr.'s first nomination
65
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,011
and first win for his role
66
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,484
as Brown-Nosing Tool
67
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,282
in Brown-Nosing ToolGoes to School on Skip Day.
68
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,115
(booing)
I want to thank my daddy,
69
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,020
all the teachers
70
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,662
and my alarm clock.
71
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,957
You can go to bed now,
Larry.
72
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,189
Wow.
Get off the stage!
73
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:17,426
Let's go, let's go, let's go
let's go. (chicken clucking)
74
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:20,871
Look, Junior, you know I
think you're a great kid.
75
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,628
Thank you...
Quiet.
76
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,696
But if you want other
people to respect you
77
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,935
you can't always blindly
follow the rules.
78
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:28,811
But rules are our friends.
79
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,439
Well, if you want
any real friends,
80
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,154
you better start standing
up to authority,
81
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:36,107
or you'll end up lamer
than Ben Stiller's career.
82
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:39,646
ANNOUNCER:
This Christmas the Fockersare on the move.
83
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,523
Sorry, but the
job's in Montana.
84
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,092
Then Montana,
here I come.
85
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:48,931
Ben Stiller and Robert De Niroin Butte Fockers.
86
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:52,829
(dejected sigh)
That's right, Butte Fockers.
87
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,103
As long as you keeppaying to watch,
88
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:56,702
we'll keep farting them out.
89
00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,114
Vroom, vroom.
90
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,351
(tires squealing)
91
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,817
Rallo's got a need for speed,
92
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:19,263
and Rallo lives his life
one quarter mile at a time.
93
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:22,090
And roads? Where Rallo's going,
he don't need...
94
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,756
(both yelling)
95
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,268
(groans)
96
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:31,135
Oh, man, this is bad!
97
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:33,868
Oh, look what God made me do.
98
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,274
(growling)
99
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,006
All part of his plan.
100
00:04:37,011 --> 00:04:38,711
(Kendra whimpers)
101
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,382
(whimpering)
102
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:55,657
Junior, I don't ever want to see
you laughed at like that again.
103
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,803
(laughing)
Walk much?
104
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,128
So anyway, from
this moment on,
105
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:02,603
I don't want you to follow
anybody else's rules.
106
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,473
I want you to be
a renegade. Okay.
107
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,842
See? That's exactly
what I'm talking about.
108
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,541
Don't say okay
to everything. Sorry.
109
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:14,014
And don't say sorry
all the time. Okay.
110
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,654
No! Oh, forget it.
Just go to bed.
111
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,580
Okay. Sorry.
(groans)
112
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,945
Dang it, Junior,
it's only 6:30.
113
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,424
I thought it seemed early.
114
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,123
Then why were you going to bed?
115
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,824
'Cause you told me to, Daddy.
116
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,956
That's exactly why
you shouldn't.
117
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,491
Here, chug this beer.
118
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,956
I'm not 21.
119
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,634
Plus, I'm on allergy
medication
120
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,703
that shouldn't be mixed
with alcohol.
121
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,602
But if you say so.
122
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,543
(noisy gulping)
123
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:40,872
(steady electronic tone)
124
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,144
I'm sorry, we did all we could.
He's dead.
125
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,454
(sobbing)
126
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:49,677
Junior, please don't leave me!
127
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,123
Okay.
Aw, you're hopeless!
128
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:55,989
(Kendra whimpering)
129
00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:00,494
It was just a silly
little mistake, Rallo.
130
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,464
Everyone makes mistakes.
131
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:03,863
Even God.
132
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,834
I mean, black people
with freckles?
133
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,033
What's up with that?
134
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,134
(chuckles)
(whimpering continues)
135
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,836
(car approaching)
136
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,498
(car door opening and closing)
137
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,936
LESTER:
Oh, cool, a meteor fell in front of our house.
138
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,883
Oh, my God,
it's Kendra!
139
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,508
Help! We need help!
140
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,783
(siren wailing)
141
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,082
(tires squealing)
142
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,784
MAN:
She can't fit in the ambulance.
143
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,086
Get the crane.
144
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,347
(vehicle back-up warning beeps)
145
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,356
(Kendra whimpering)
146
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:38,000
I've seen a horsefly,
and I've seen a dragonfly,
147
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,768
but I never thought
I'd see an elephant fly.
148
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,268
ANNOUNCER:
We'll return
149
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:45,099
to The Wonderfully Racist
World of Disney after this.
150
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,836
(electronic tones)
151
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,213
Sure thing, colorful
singing robot toy.
152
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,282
Anything you say.
153
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,351
Boop-beep-bap-boo-beep-beep.
154
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:58,080
Junior,
what are you doing?
155
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,845
Obeying the musical commands
of my robotic overlord.
156
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,164
See, this is the problem,
Junior.
157
00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:05,857
You're always following
the rules.
158
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,489
You've got to stand up
to authority.
159
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,694
Larry!
160
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:10,295
Larry's going away--
161
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,997
unless you stand up to me
and take him back.
162
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,130
Put him down, Daddy.
He doesn't know your scent.
163
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,465
Does he know this scent?
164
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,701
No! He's my friend!
165
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,136
Fight me!
166
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,771
I'm not gonna fight you.
Come on!
167
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:23,976
Stop it, Daddy!
168
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:24,937
He has a family!
169
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:25,935
(growls)
170
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,306
Damn it, I said stop it!
171
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:31,175
(grunts, glass breaking, ding)
172
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,918
Daddy, I'm stronger than you.
173
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,993
Well, one lucky punch
does not...
174
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,191
(both grunting)
175
00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:40,463
(yells)
176
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,361
(sighs)
177
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,701
You're a dead man.
178
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:57,207
So, son...
179
00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:58,641
(clearing his throat)
180
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,775
...hell of a sucker punch
you got in there the other day.
181
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:05,182
You told him to stand up to
you, and then he beat your ass.
182
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,752
What'd you say, Junior?!
183
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:09,494
You think
you're a tough guy now?
184
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,090
No.
That's it!
185
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,761
Let's see you try to hit me
186
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:13,929
when I've got my dukes up.
187
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,257
Boom!
Get yo money! Get yo money!
188
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,603
(groaning)
189
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:20,098
Oh, sure, it's real easy
to sucker punch a man
190
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,630
when he has his fists up.
191
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,495
But I'd like to see you try it
192
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,974
when he gets on a table,
grabs a frying pan,
193
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,443
distracts you by saying there's
something out the window,
194
00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:31,142
and then, when your back
is turned, knocks you out cold.
195
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,314
Please don't.
(growling)
196
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,153
(sighs)
197
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,648
Junior, look outside!
198
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,920
There's a double rainbow!
199
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,178
What does it mean?
200
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,516
(yelling)
201
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,191
Whoa!
(glass breaking, tin clinking)
202
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,789
My mustache!
203
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,060
I can't feel
my mustache!
204
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,701
(gun chamber cocking)
205
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:56,636
Oh, my goodness, what has
happened to Miss Kendra?
206
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:59,137
I ask this question
because I have been away
207
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:03,039
at rehabilitation
for quote, unquote, exhaustion.
208
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,943
Someone crashed into Kendra.
209
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,135
(whimpering)
210
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,946
Leave... the scab... alone!
211
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:11,079
Here. Have some cheese diddles.
212
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,084
(muffled munching)
213
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:16,116
Hit-and-run, but Kendra got
a good look at the bastard
214
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,493
before he got away,
215
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:19,161
and she sketched out
a little drawing.
216
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,129
Look familiar?
217
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,658
No.
218
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:25,033
This white, Chinese,
or Latino woman
219
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,672
does not look familiar
to me at all.
220
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,638
Well, when I find
whoever did this...
221
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:33,867
I'm gonna avenge
my fat, disgusting wife.
222
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,644
Oh, Lester.
223
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,012
(belches)
224
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,140
(sighs)
225
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:41,275
Pew! Watch out
for that one.
226
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,821
(crickets chirping)
227
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,617
Got to get rid of the evidence.
228
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,450
(imitates engine starting)
229
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:52,156
(quietly):
Vroom. Vroom.
230
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,503
(snake rattling)
231
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,361
Well, my oldest friend,
you deserve better,
232
00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:30,662
but we don't always get
what we deserve.
233
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,034
See you!
234
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,872
(wind whistling)
235
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,365
RALLO:
Aah, son of a bitch!
236
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,835
(liquid gurgling, hissing)
237
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,617
LESTER:
Now, from the bruising here,
238
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,450
it seems his boy caught him
in the nose, in the cheek,
239
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,856
and basically removed
everything down here.
240
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,489
(laughter)
241
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,364
Come on, Cleveland,
snap out of it.
242
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,802
Zing us back.
243
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,997
Yeah, come
on, rib us for your pleasure.
244
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,529
We're all
gonna die.
245
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,635
(laughs)
There he is!
246
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:12,037
No, Tim.
247
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:15,539
Like Lopez Tonight, there's
nothing funny about this.
248
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:19,882
After I got beat up by my son,
then got beat up again,
249
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,880
I had an epi-piphany.
250
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,582
With each year,
Junior gets stronger
251
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,454
and I just get weaker.
252
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,853
My best years are behind me.
253
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:29,985
I'm old.
254
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,520
We're all old.
255
00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:35,161
I'm four.
256
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:41,196
As I have but little time
left on this earth,
257
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,941
I hereby make
the following bequeathments.
258
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:48,307
To Rallo, I leave my library
of vintage nudie mags,
259
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:52,008
which he may not look at
until he is nine years old.
260
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:56,482
To Roberta,
I leave 365 yellow shirts.
261
00:11:56,483 --> 00:12:01,123
And to my son, Cleveland
Rog Rerun Dwayne Brown Jr.,
262
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,021
I will surely leave nothing.
263
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:07,663
For he hath already
taken everything from me.
264
00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:09,031
Amen.
265
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,699
Cleveland, what the
hell are you doing?
266
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:11,757
Dying.
267
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,265
So, I finished my will.
268
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,427
The good news is
you'll be taken care of
269
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,036
for six to eight weeks.
270
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,108
You're not planning to eat out,
are you?
271
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,967
You know I like
my Boston Market.
272
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:22,965
Two weeks.
273
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,506
You're not dying,
Cleveland.
274
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,781
You just need a
little cheering up.
275
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,680
How about you splash
around in the Tubbs?
276
00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:31,283
Good idea.
277
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,924
A warm bath
with some Epsom salts
278
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,520
is just what these
tired old bones need.
279
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:42,159
(farting)
280
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,962
Old.
281
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,934
Don't have to
acknowledge them.
282
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:49,702
(farting)
283
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:52,043
I may just leave that man.
284
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,098
CLEVELAND JR.:
Okay, that's great.
285
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,266
Good job.
286
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,214
Now, let's try
something a little wild.
287
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,039
Loosen up a
little bit.
288
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:00,014
I'm so cold.
289
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,153
Did I take my pill?
290
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,749
Where's my cardigan?
291
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,080
Daddy?
Get back!
292
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,015
I'm not carrying
any money!
293
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,450
Dad, I'm worried about you.
294
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,455
What do you say
we go to the movies?
295
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,687
Leave the house?
296
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,691
Everyone will
point and laugh
297
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:18,133
at the weak old man who
got beat up by his son.
298
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,671
Oh, Larry, I've got
to help my dad.
299
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:25,098
You know, that guy with the
mustache who just walked by.
300
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,135
(laughs)
301
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,939
Well, who did you
think that was?
302
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:31,541
What the hell would Danny
Glover be doing in our house?!
303
00:13:31,545 --> 00:13:33,505
Shooting a
movie, he says.
304
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:34,713
Hey, kids.
305
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,184
Any luck finding your perp?
306
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,753
Nope. But I'm
seriously considering
307
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,592
expanding our efforts beyond
standing here on the porch.
308
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,088
HOLT:
♪ I'm gonna ride
309
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:44,589
♪ Ride like the wind
310
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,131
♪ To be free again
311
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,687
♪ And I've got
such a long way to go ♪
312
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:55,066
♪ Such a long way to go.
313
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,684
Baby, I found him.
314
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,678
Holt's a dead man.
315
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,680
(pumps shotgun)
316
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,011
(gulps)
317
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,115
You know, I think I
like cocking this thing
318
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:13,177
more than I like
shooting it.
319
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,194
Who are any of these people?
320
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,098
Junior! My God!
321
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,327
What happened
to you?!
322
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:28,772
Maybe I was beat up,
maybe it's Maybelline.
323
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,298
Sweet illusions
and fake contusions!
324
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,503
But why?
325
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,804
For Daddy.
326
00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:35,036
I told everyone at school
and everyone in town
327
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,841
that my daddy beat me up.
328
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:37,943
Broke an arm, too.
329
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,284
Wink-wink.
330
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,179
So now he can
hold his head up high
331
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,981
as the guy who's still strong
enough to beat up his own son.
332
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,284
Oh, Junior, what
have you done?
333
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:49,086
Donna, we need a phone
with large buttons.
334
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,119
(knock on door)
335
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,363
Must be that mischievous
neighbor boy.
336
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,089
I'll get it.
337
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:57,134
(humming)
338
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,430
Cleveland Brown?
339
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,761
In my youth.
340
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,966
We got a report
that you beat up your son.
341
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,698
Yep! He kicked
my ass!
342
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,973
Say what, son?
343
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:08,042
You're under arrest
for child abuse.
344
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:11,679
The hell I am!
345
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,148
(grunting)
346
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,977
(electrical buzzing)
347
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:19,022
(grunting)
348
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,723
(growling)
349
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:25,859
Wait a minute,
that's my Maybelline?
350
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:28,159
Don't you ever go in
my makeup box again!
351
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,258
Uh, bye, Cleveland.
352
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,167
That was Len Stein.
353
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,112
They're holding your father
through the weekend.
354
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,807
Do Jews ever have good news?
355
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,040
Oh, this is a nightmare.
356
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:47,205
I can't believe
Daddy's in jail.
357
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,553
What was I thinking?!
358
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:49,678
I don't know.
359
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,323
But now you're the man
of the house.
360
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,018
Now, your father had
a lot of chores,
361
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,689
and you're gonna
have to take care of them.
362
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:57,818
First up, I need you to
relocate the pet cemetery
363
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:01,134
from one corner of the
backyard to the other.
364
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,027
Oh, Daddy,
you don't belong in jail.
365
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:06,860
I should be the only man
kissing you good night.
366
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,674
And I will be.
367
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,638
Holt, you have to
listen to me.
368
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,984
Can't. Got
to bounce.
369
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,209
Mom's taking a nap.
Free time.
370
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,954
Wait, Holt!
371
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,019
You're in terrible trouble!
372
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:26,247
Oh, man.
373
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:30,993
Enjoy the ride!
374
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,791
(laughs maniacally)
375
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,493
I sure hope he don't
break nothing.
376
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,926
(laughs maniacally)
377
00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:40,102
You cut his brakes?!
378
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,100
(groans)
379
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,031
Look, Mr. and Mrs. Krinklesac,
380
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:45,466
there's something
I need to tell you.
381
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,942
You know how the Bible's
all about forgiveness?
382
00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:49,141
And vengeance.
383
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,942
And loving thy neighbor.
384
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,984
And killing sodomites!
385
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,479
Let me start over.
386
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,511
You ever read
The Berenstain Bears
387
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,846
Forgive a Hit-and-Run Driver?
388
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,519
I'm sorry I lied to you.
389
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,262
You know, Rallo,
it takes a lot of guts
390
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,358
to admit to something
way after the fact
391
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,260
and when you've put
another man's life in danger.
392
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,163
Let's go save Holt!
393
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:15,169
(chuckles)
394
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:21,114
But I'm telling you,
I wanted him to beat me up!
395
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,837
This is all my fault!
396
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:25,642
Son, all victims of abuse
feel like it's their fault.
397
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,005
And I'll say to you
what I say to them.
398
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:31,124
That's what you get for standing
near Arnold Schwarzenegger.
399
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:31,977
(laughs)
400
00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:33,045
Oh.
401
00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:35,289
Daddy! Daddy!
402
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,988
Whoa there, son,
you're safe now.
403
00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:39,320
Just cooperate with us
and we'll see to it
404
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:42,285
that your father is locked
up for a very long time.
405
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:43,485
(echoing):
A very long time.
406
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,356
A very long time.
407
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,596
(slowing, distorted):
A very long time.
408
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:53,701
Very... long... time.
409
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,806
(Cleveland Jr. grunting)
410
00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:57,439
I can't live like this!
411
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:58,784
I need my daddy!
412
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,108
(gasps)
413
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:00,883
Uh-oh.
414
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,610
Give me my daddy!
415
00:18:07,352 --> 00:18:08,922
Junior, I don't think
we should...
416
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:10,522
Shut the hell up
and drive!
417
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,163
Yes, sir.
418
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,688
(tires screeching)
419
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,763
(sirens wailing)
420
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,936
I hear him!
421
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:29,972
There he is!
422
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,976
(horn honks)
423
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,338
Holt, stop!
424
00:18:35,013 --> 00:18:36,083
(tires screeching)
425
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,077
Airing it out!
426
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,157
(sirens wailing)
427
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,356
(rings bell)
428
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,761
(screaming)
429
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,960
Faster! Faster!
430
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,266
No way, Junior.
431
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:56,627
If a police car gets
a speeding ticket,
432
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:00,366
we could open up a paradox
that could destroy us all.
433
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,040
(screaming)
434
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:04,782
'Sup?
435
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,537
(screaming)
436
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,976
I got a idea.
437
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,412
Step on it!
438
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:12,246
(tires screeching)
439
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:15,386
Now!
440
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,492
(Holt screams)
441
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,791
(sirens wailing)
442
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:25,304
(panting)
443
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:28,498
And I thought... these things...
444
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:31,971
smelled bad... on the outside.
445
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,771
Baby? Kendra?
446
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,013
Say something.
447
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,938
(chewing noisily)
448
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,214
Sorry.
449
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,812
Don't be
sorry, honey.
450
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,653
Enjoy your scab.
451
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,249
You deserve it.
452
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,580
(chewing noisily)
453
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,016
(sirens wailing)
454
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:52,957
Go, Junior, go!
455
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:53,959
You're awesome!
456
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,060
We think
you're cool now!
457
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,273
Junior, look at you.
458
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:06,469
Brandishing a stolen gun,
jacking a police car,
459
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:09,612
and leading the entire force
on a high-speed chase.
460
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:12,009
You're standing up to authority.
461
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,111
You're right! I am!
462
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,753
Course, I'm still the guy
who's weaker than his son.
463
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,019
No, you're not.
464
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:21,287
You're the guy who beat up
his son and went to jail for it.
465
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:22,947
I won't tell anyone.
466
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:24,456
(both laugh)
467
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:27,257
All this time, I thought
I was teaching you.
468
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,090
But it was you
who was...
469
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:30,755
Teaching?
(gasps)
470
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:32,964
School!
471
00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:34,996
I've never missed school!
472
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,331
(tires screeching)
473
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,366
(sirens wailing)
474
00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:44,241
(school bell ringing)
475
00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:50,506
I think we can all agree
that anyone would have
476
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,346
ended up in
the same situation
477
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:55,422
if their son had gone
to school on Skip Day.
478
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:56,991
So, what do you say?
479
00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:58,920
Friends?
480
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,155
(electrical buzzes)
481
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:02,329
Captioning sponsored by
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482
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:09,767
Captioned by
access.wgbh.org oup at WGBH
483
00:21:09,817 --> 00:21:14,367
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