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1
00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:03,804
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:06,144
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,470
♪ Right back in my hometown
4
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:10,706
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:13,581
♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪
6
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,451
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,679
♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪
8
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,545
♪ It's true love we share ♪
9
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,723
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,862
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,858
♪ My happy mustached face
12
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,730
♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪
13
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,759
(chuckles)
14
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:36,643
Ah, Stoolfest.
A magical time of year
15
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,937
when hobos and drug addicts
are made up as clowns
16
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:42,740
and put in charge
of dangerous rides.
17
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,583
(people screaming)
18
00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:48,283
Huh. "Farmer."
19
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,782
Can you believe
that's still a job?
20
00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:52,545
(all laugh)
21
00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:56,257
Yeah! Whoo!
22
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,857
Teacups! AC/DC!
23
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,159
Rather see some D-cups.
24
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:01,892
Or C-cups.
25
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,826
Hell, I don't even mind B-cups
if they're real.
26
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:07,472
I don't want no nippy
little A-cups, though.
27
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:10,698
Well, we failed
to bond, yet again.
28
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,544
I'm gonna go
to the arcade.
29
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:13,770
Here, here's ten bucks.
30
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,684
Enjoy yourself.
Don't get kidnapped.
31
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,107
(cell phone rings)
32
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,552
Holler.
33
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:20,647
Cleve-bro. Holt.
34
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,248
Hey, get over here.
35
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,449
Not going to be able to make it.
36
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:24,781
What?! You've been talking
37
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,215
about Stoolfest for weeks.
38
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,290
Where are you?
39
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,948
Crosswinds Outlet with my mom.
40
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:29,786
Sucks.
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00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:32,220
Holt, can you see
through this skirt?
42
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:33,326
Ugh! Oh, God!
43
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,187
Sounds like you got
your hands full.
44
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:35,956
Look, man, I got to go.
45
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,663
Night Ranger's
playing a free concert.
46
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:39,966
Ranger's there?!
47
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,427
Aw, son of a bitch!
48
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,025
That's it.
49
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:43,896
We're not going
to Van Heusen.
50
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:46,644
Mom, you know I need shirts.
51
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,280
What's this?
52
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,248
"Hit three shots, win a fish"?
53
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:55,607
I could use a fish.
54
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,852
(Globetrotter style music plays)
55
00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:05,392
Wha--? Nobody's
ever made all three.
56
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,532
I'm on to you.
57
00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:08,927
Over-inflated
ball, small rim.
58
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,859
But your tricks can't
stop Rallo's game.
59
00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:13,766
Now give me my fish.
60
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,527
Your name is Rockwell.
61
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,236
You are my new best friend.
62
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:17,998
I love you.
63
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:20,265
Be out of town tomorrow.
64
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,214
You make me sick.
65
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,078
Rockwell, sit.
66
00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:30,651
Stay here while I fill
your new home with water.
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00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,351
Ow! Ow!
Stop the fight!
68
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,823
You're going to cause
lasting brain damage.
69
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,762
(screams)
70
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,357
(tires screeching)
71
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,934
Junior, no!
72
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,930
(screams)
73
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:45,602
(gulps)
74
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,529
You drank my fish!
You drank my fish!
75
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:52,366
I warned you not to put things
in his eating radius.
76
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:52,873
Did you chew him?
77
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,943
No, that hypnotist
conditioned me
78
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,782
not to chew
when I drink anymore.
79
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:59,207
Well, then maybe he's
living inside you.
80
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,083
Like a baby?
81
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:04,380
Yeah. Except this baby's
gonna be born out the back.
82
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:07,115
I heard that's how
Danny Bonaduce was born.
83
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:09,521
(laughs)
Out the butt.
84
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,030
I can't believe
I missed Stoolfest
85
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,427
because of
my stupid mom.
86
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:16,758
Ha! You're whipped
by your mom.
87
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:17,804
(imitates whip cracking)
88
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,028
(Cleveland and Lester join in)
89
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:22,333
(all laughing)
90
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:22,726
Shut up!
91
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,266
I call the shots
in our relationship.
92
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:25,702
Horse puckey!
93
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,866
Then how come your mom never
lets you come to poker night?
94
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,506
It starts at 9:00.
That's late.
95
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,852
Holt, maybe it's not
my place, but...
96
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,407
you can't live
like this.
97
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,016
What the hell am I supposed
to do? She's my mom.
98
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,988
You're a big short man.
99
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:40,747
Man up! Talk to her.
100
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:44,124
Lay down the law and let her
know you're not a boy anymore.
101
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,394
You're right,
Cleveland.
102
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,063
I'm a man.
103
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,031
I'm going to tell my mommy
104
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:51,458
she can't mess
with Holt Anne Richter.
105
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,695
(both laughing)
106
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:58,735
Dutch oven!
107
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,909
Aah! Let me out!
108
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,537
(chuckles)
Just kidding.
109
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,982
The Dutch don't
cook their food
110
00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:04,977
by trapping farts
in a blanket...
111
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:05,509
I don't think.
112
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:09,082
I mean, they couldn't possibly
do that, could they?
113
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,253
(glass shattering)
What's that?
114
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,919
(shouting indistinctly)
115
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:15,752
It's Holt.
116
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,986
He's all worked up
like Ian McKellen
117
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:20,032
at a high school
wrestling match.
118
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:20,657
Oh, yeah.
119
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:23,101
I convinced him
to set his mom straight.
120
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:23,727
HOLT:
We're done!
121
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,801
(glass shattering)
You're not the boss of me!
122
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,699
Oh, my God. Cleveland,
come look at this.
123
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,802
Now, how you get
a pimple on your thigh?
124
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,135
(sobbing):
I'm sorry.
125
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:36,510
I'll always love you.
126
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,810
(grunting)
127
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,651
Cleveland,
he's killing his mother.
128
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,407
(with accent):
Oh, that's so crazy.
129
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:42,905
Let me take a look, huh?
130
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,346
(grunting)
131
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,368
(tires screeching)
132
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,270
Huh. That is odd.
133
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,141
It's more than
odd, Cleveland.
134
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,041
It's murder!
135
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:13,779
LIONEL STANDER:
Hart to Hart will return in a moment.
136
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,221
Do you still think Holt
murdered his mother,
137
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,650
or are you looking
for my breakfast out there?
138
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,086
'Cause it sure ain't
in the kitchen.
139
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:27,161
Joke all you want, but I
watch all three CSIs--
140
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:28,661
Miami, New York
and regular--
141
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,602
and I'm telling you,
this was an inside job.
142
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,168
What's gotten into you?
143
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,727
I have a desk job, Cleveland.
144
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:35,765
All I do, every day,
145
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,499
is watch crime shows on Hulu
and read mysteries.
146
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,305
That's all anyone
with a desk job does.
147
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:42,138
If it makes you
feel better,
148
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,682
I'll go down to the Stool,
get shellacked,
149
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,748
and ask Holt
if he murdered his mom.
150
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,277
No! Don't
just ask him.
151
00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:51,152
Be subtle, like
Garrison Keillor.
152
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,951
And then, Mrs. Clarington
153
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,393
called us back
from the fishing hole
154
00:05:55,389 --> 00:06:00,889
to offer us a slice
of her famous rhubarb cobbler.
155
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:01,894
(laughter)
156
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:06,295
I've never hated
white people more.
157
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:11,597
So, anyone do anything
interesting last night
158
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:14,735
from 11:37
to 11:45 p.m.?
159
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,982
Oh, I was just... I was just,
uh, wearing a mud mask,
160
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,708
writing down
what I'm grateful for.
161
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,913
Listened to A.M. radio and
yanked it on the nines.
162
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:23,446
Nice.
163
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,420
Yeah, I took care
of some business myself.
164
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:27,290
(grunts)
165
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,317
Interesting.
(grunts)
166
00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:30,863
I talked to my mom,
like you said,
167
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,188
and she went away
for a while.
168
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:34,463
What do you mean, "went away"?
169
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,931
Let's just say
you set me straight yesterday.
170
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,830
Made me realize
what I needed to do.
171
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:42,302
And now I'm a free man,
thanks to you.
172
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:45,142
(laughing)
173
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,739
Time to feed our baby.
174
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,305
Open up.
175
00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:56,724
I'm still hungry.
176
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,617
It says you only
get one pinch.
177
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,749
I know, but I'm
eating for two.
178
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,085
Sold.
179
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,290
(chuckles)
180
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:06,091
I think I feel him kicking.
181
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:06,793
(sighs)
182
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:12,164
I've never seen you look
so beautiful, Cleveland Jr.
183
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,396
You're glowing.
184
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,198
(radio static)
185
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,574
Now, don't forget-- you
have to get him to confess
186
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,013
and lead you
to the body.
187
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,468
We'll follow
closely behind.
188
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,306
Holt will be okay
in prison, right?
189
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:27,211
A petite, boyish fitness nut
with a crotch-high head?
190
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,784
Oh, yeah, he'll be
the most popular guy in there.
191
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,323
He gon' get tore up, isn't he?
192
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,719
Listen, we need to talk.
193
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,261
Holt, I saw everything.
194
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,787
The body, the carpet,
the car ride.
195
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,534
What was I
supposed to do?
196
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,529
I was desperate.
197
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,300
I know it was wrong.
198
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:46,059
(crying)
199
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,666
I buried her near
the north bank of the river.
200
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:49,699
Take me there.
201
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,043
In your red Crossfire,
202
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:55,638
with the "McCain/Palin"
sticker on the back window.
203
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,425
(crickets chirping)
204
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,497
She's over here.
205
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,873
I want you
to know I'm sorry.
206
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:25,602
For what?
207
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,036
For this.
She's here!
208
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,281
The body's here,
over here!
209
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,777
(siren wailing,
indistinct yelling)
210
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,924
(guns cocking)
What the hell?
211
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:38,980
(grunting)
212
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:41,346
Dog pile!
213
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:45,119
I'm sorry, Holt,
214
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,785
but you have to pay
for what you did.
215
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:52,364
Thou doth be judgeth
by he who bringeth ambrosia
216
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:56,896
to the shores of Galilee,
lest ye removeth the plank
217
00:08:56,904 --> 00:09:01,274
from thine eternal Bounty,
the quicker picker-upper.
218
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:06,105
Or Brawny, whose tag line
I do notteth remember.
219
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:10,523
But I do recollecteth
a lumberjack on the wrapper.
220
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:14,347
You're going to jail.
221
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,317
I got something.
222
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:20,133
No, no, no, no, no, this is bad,
this is bad, this is bad.
223
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,099
Wait a sec.
224
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,127
That's not your mom.
225
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:28,396
It's a sex doll.
226
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,272
Repeat: just a sex doll.
227
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:33,510
Repeat again:
a doll for sex.
228
00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:34,507
So, move on in.
229
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:36,508
Something to see here,
people.
230
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:37,980
Something to see.
231
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,208
(camera clicks)
MAN: T-shirts!
232
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:44,582
Get your "Holt Richter
has sex with dolls" T-shirts!
233
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,115
(groans)
234
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:50,621
I'm sorry, Holt.
235
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:51,994
It's not your fault.
236
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,892
I'm going to tell you
something right now
237
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,564
that I've never
told anybody.
238
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:59,002
I've never actually
had a girlfriend.
239
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,469
Really.
240
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,367
Oh, really?
241
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:05,369
When I bought Kimmy,
it started out as a joke.
242
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,942
You know, a $7,000 joke.
243
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,171
Why'd you bury Kimmy?
244
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,276
I thought about
what you said.
245
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,107
I stood up to my mom and
sent her on a vacation,
246
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:13,953
which gave me time to realize
247
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,677
my relationship
with Kimmy wasn't healthy.
248
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:17,982
So we had a good-bye three-way
with a beanbag chair,
249
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,615
then I pretended to choke her
to death, rolled her in a rug
250
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,121
and gave her a proper burial
251
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,662
in a hastily dug shallow grave
down by the river.
252
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:25,458
That's cool.
253
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:28,259
Well, that's the last
I'll know of love.
254
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,701
Hey, least you
had a taste.
255
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,127
Tell you what
I'm gonna do, Holt.
256
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:36,172
First thing tomorrow,
I'm gonna find a girl for you.
257
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,539
A live one.
258
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:38,497
A cute one.
259
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:41,435
One who could clean herself
when you're done.
260
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,171
Unless she had no arms.
261
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,336
I'll try to find you one
with arms.
262
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:50,545
You have my word I'll try
to find you one with arms.
263
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:58,417
So, I figured you could help
me find a date for Holt.
264
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:01,185
I haven't nailed
that new chick yet.
265
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:07,601
Hi. I'm Cleveland.
266
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,001
I'm Jane.
267
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,042
Pleasure.
268
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:11,567
Are all these cats yours?
269
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:14,311
I wish.
(chuckles nervously)
270
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:14,707
Neat.
271
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:18,078
I think the pictures of the cats
answer this question,
272
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,608
but are you single?
273
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:20,053
(sighs)
274
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,377
I'm just trying to learn
who I am without a man.
275
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:25,752
But I think I might be able
to do that better with a man.
276
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:28,222
You know leap year Virgos.
277
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,461
(laughs)
Bingo.
278
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,557
Janey, I have a date for you.
279
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:35,557
(speed dials)
280
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,332
(phone rings,
answering machine beeps)
281
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,200
JANE:
Hi, guys. It's me.
282
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,929
Sorry to interrupt
Guiding Light.
283
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,074
Just wanted to share
the good news.
284
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:43,670
We've got a date.
285
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,070
He's a friend of a friend
of a guy I work with and he...
286
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,913
(machine beeps off)
287
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,013
Still nothing?
288
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,382
It's been days, man.
289
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,610
I wish you would have to
carry him for just one day
290
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,676
so you would know
how it feels.
291
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,145
I'm doing what I can.
292
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,023
You know how many 7-Elevens
I had to go to
293
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:05,692
to find those stupid grape jelly
Pop Tarts you were craving?
294
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:08,392
Oh, so you're saying I'm fat?
295
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,655
(sobbing)
296
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:10,333
(groans)
297
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,160
I can't say anything.
298
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,925
I'm taking a walk.
299
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:17,174
I wish you never even
swallowed my fish.
300
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,540
(continues sobbing)
301
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,139
I'm glad
you swallowed the fish.
302
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,542
I love you.
303
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,413
(grunts softly)
304
00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:29,483
I had chicken
pox as an adult.
305
00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:31,123
Almost died.
Didn't care.
306
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,518
Knocked out Band ofBrotherss in a weekend.
307
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:34,620
Cool.
(chuckles)
308
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:37,421
Are you sitting
in a booster seat?
309
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,524
No.
(chuckles)
310
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,685
No-- children sit
in booster seats.
311
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:42,394
This is called The Executive.
312
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:43,795
Bought it at Sky Mall.
313
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:44,757
Same one Bono has.
314
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,095
Oh, my God.
You like music?
315
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,300
I like music, too.
316
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,742
What's your favorite group?
317
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,597
Beatles.
No way.
318
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:53,266
Me, too.
319
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,143
Have you heard
Abbey Road?
320
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,372
Kicks ass.
321
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:57,436
Bought it today.
322
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,514
You know what?
323
00:12:58,512 --> 00:12:59,582
If you like
The Beatles,
324
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:02,209
you will love this band
called Nickelback.
325
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:03,105
Do you have some?
326
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,576
Only like a whole CD
in my car.
327
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,445
Well, let's go.
328
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:16,293
I haven't seen Holt
in a week.
329
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,156
Now, I don't want to sound
like a queer or nothing,
330
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,696
but I miss him.
331
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,970
(slurring):
I miss him, too.
332
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,098
(laughs)
Just teasing.
333
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,174
I think he's
fallen in amour.
334
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,314
Thanks to moi.
335
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,778
Cleveland, how many
mimosas have you had?
336
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,307
Quatorze sor quinze.
337
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,683
(car door closes)
Here they come.
338
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,111
(doorbell rings)
339
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:36,676
Sorry we were late.
340
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:41,193
We would have been here on time,
but someone's a little jerk.
341
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,218
(chuckles nervously)
342
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:46,222
Hey, guys, can I take
your coats and sunglasses?
343
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,726
I'm fine.
Come on, Holt.
344
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,727
Only dip-wads like
Jack Nicholson
345
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:53,899
and the entire rap community
wear sunglasses inside.
346
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,400
I said I'm fine.
(all gasp)
347
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,243
Holt fell on
a pair of binoculars.
348
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,508
Isn't that right, Holt?
349
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,838
I said, isn't that right?!
350
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:05,835
She's right.
351
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:06,846
Uh, bird-watching
accident.
352
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:09,807
That's right--
bird-watching accident.
353
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:10,976
You like
watching birds?
354
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,694
You like looking at their
little bird weenies?
355
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,947
Yeah, you do, don't you?
356
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,755
You're a weird little
bird queer, Holt.
357
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:23,655
So, Holt,
358
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,463
we're worried
that you and Jane
359
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,365
might be having
problems.
360
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:27,797
Problems?
361
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:31,171
Since when is getting too much
hey-nonny-nonny a problem?
362
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:31,971
(cell phone vibrates)
363
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:32,942
Jane's texting me.
364
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:36,769
I've got 30 seconds to call
her back, or else I get hit--
365
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,736
uh, with evening rates.
366
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:41,346
I'll tell you
something.
367
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,408
You could travel
all the way to Egypt
368
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,346
and you wouldn't see
"de-Nile" like that.
369
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,593
Shut the (bleep) up, Tim.
370
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:51,187
I got Holt into this mess,
and I'm gonna get him out of it.
371
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,521
I'm gonna go tell Jane to...
372
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:56,855
(imitating Tony Montana):
Say good-bye to my little friend.
373
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:59,403
God, black guys
love Scarface.
374
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,529
They can-- they cannot
stop talking about it.
375
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,269
(doorbell rings)
376
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,302
Hi, Cleveland.
377
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,406
What are you
doing here?
378
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,507
Now, you listen here.
379
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,908
You're not gonna lay
another finger on Holt.
380
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:14,881
In fact, you're gonna call him
and tell him it's over.
381
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,851
Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way.
382
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,750
Let's talk more
about this.
383
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:22,352
But first, I'd like to
give you a sandwich.
384
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,385
Really?
Well, I am a little peckish.
385
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,531
Wait a minute, is this gonna be
a knuckle sand...?
386
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:28,527
(grunts)
How about a little
387
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,998
Hawaiian Punch to
wash it down with?
388
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:33,427
Why, I am a little parched.
Wait a min...
389
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,773
(Cleveland grunts)
390
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:35,528
So, how did it go?
391
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,695
Did she agree to
stay away from Holt?
392
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:38,904
Does it look like it, Boo-Boo?
393
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:42,635
And I couldn't even hit her back
'cause she's a girl.
394
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,912
I'll handle this.
395
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,340
You tell her
she still owes me
396
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:49,575
a sandwich and a glass
of Hawaiian Punch!
397
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,482
(doorbell rings)
398
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:51,884
Hi, Jane.
399
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:54,285
You know, according to
Ecclesiastes 12:16...
400
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,217
(grunts)
Ow! My snout!
401
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,462
(doorbell rings, Jane grunts)
402
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,688
(doorbell rings)
Not in the face!
403
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,564
(both grunt)
Not the nads!
404
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,662
(both grunting)
405
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:10,365
And those are just several of
the rumors about David Geffen.
406
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,340
(pager beeps)
407
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:12,838
Oh, God! This is it!
408
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,769
This is really happening!
409
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:17,508
(grunts)
410
00:16:19,878 --> 00:16:22,308
How close are you?
I'm crowning.
411
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,415
Okay, remember
your breathing.
412
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,917
(shallow panting)
413
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,649
Turn that off.
414
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:28,624
I look awful.
415
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,121
I'm not wearing any makeup.
416
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,393
All right.
You want an Anacin?
417
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,732
No, I want to do it
all natural.
418
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:36,998
All right,
push, push.
419
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,857
(straining)
420
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:40,325
Just give me the damn Anacin!
421
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,603
You don't need it!
422
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,771
I do!
423
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,599
One more push.
424
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,944
Big one.
425
00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:48,869
(grunting)
426
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,305
(straining)
427
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,040
(groans)
428
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,945
(sobbing)
429
00:16:54,948 --> 00:16:56,008
You did it, Junior.
430
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,616
We did it, Rallo.
431
00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,747
Now, let's have a look
at our little guy.
432
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:02,394
Oh, boy.
433
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:03,719
Did he make it?
434
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:06,063
Uh, this is unclear.
435
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:08,989
That's an
awful mess.
436
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:09,725
Yes, it is.
437
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:14,329
Looks like something you'd eat
if you lived in Louisiana.
438
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,034
Yes, it does.
439
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,466
May I?
440
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:18,670
You may.
441
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:19,901
(toilet flushes)
442
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,136
I hate that
it turned out this way.
443
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:25,342
I'm glad we went
through this together.
444
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,305
Uh-oh!
445
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,512
Here comes the afterbirth!
446
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,005
(screaming)
447
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:33,918
(knocking on door)
448
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,590
Hi, Cleveland,
sorry about before.
449
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,559
(laughs)
Hope you're okay.
450
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,528
But, then again, you
kind of made me do it.
451
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:44,397
Anyway, I'm going to have to
borrow Holt from you guys.
452
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,497
(inhales
deeply)
453
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:47,569
No.
454
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,767
I'm sorry?
I said no.
455
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:50,999
Not going
with you.
456
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:52,074
Won't
back down.
457
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:54,672
Petty. Heartbreakers.
Full Moon Fever.
458
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,474
Holt, I'm going
to count to three,
459
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:59,836
and if we're not heading out
the door for tapas and Mojitos,
460
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:03,876
then I am going
to get a little bit upset.
461
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,723
My curios!
462
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,588
Let's go.
463
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:10,217
(groans)
464
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,563
What the hell is going on
down there?
465
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,489
Sweet corn in the morning!
466
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,494
What happened to you guys?
467
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:17,826
(all groaning)
468
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:18,931
It was...
469
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,732
(clears throat)
470
00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:23,166
We tried to get her
to stop hitting Holt,
471
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:26,599
and she beat the
respective craps out of us.
472
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,666
She beat up
all of you?
473
00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:30,035
Well, what were
we supposed to do?
474
00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:31,813
We can't hit a girl.
475
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,111
Well, I understand.
476
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,883
I'd never hit
a girl, either.
477
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,581
But I will smack the
white off a bitch!
478
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:40,084
(grunts)
Nobody hurts my man.
479
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,686
(grunts)
480
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:42,918
Oh!
481
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,792
My knickknacks!
482
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,861
(grunts)
483
00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:48,989
Hope you like Law & Order.
484
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:49,725
(grunts)
485
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:53,129
♪ I don't give a damn
'bout my reputation ♪
486
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:56,773
You really should spring
for, for the cordless.
487
00:18:58,437 --> 00:18:58,867
(grunting)
488
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,712
♪ A girl can do
what she wants to do ♪
489
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:04,007
♪ And that's
what I'm gonna do ♪
490
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,810
(Donna yelling)
491
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:08,913
(grunts)
492
00:19:09,581 --> 00:19:11,621
(both grunting)
493
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:15,054
♪ I don't give a damn
'bout my reputation ♪
494
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:16,294
(screaming)
495
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:19,019
CROWD (chanting):
Donna! Donna! Donna!
496
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:21,485
Spin her by the boobs again!
497
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,094
(grunts)
498
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:26,829
Eh! Mulch! Mulch!
499
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,533
(groaning)
500
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:32,395
You're weak,
just like your man.
501
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,565
(growling)
502
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:34,943
That is for my Tim.
503
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:38,381
KENDRA:
And this is for my Lester...!
504
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,551
(thud echoing)
505
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:44,618
And don't you ever
come back.
506
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,777
I'm going back
to J-date,
507
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:49,086
where people get me.
508
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:52,718
Oh, Donna, you
were magnificent.
509
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:53,925
Yeah.
510
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:57,197
I'm gonna shave
my legs tonight.
511
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,857
HOLT: Thanks, ladies.
512
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:02,425
Must be nice having
a special woman in your life.
513
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:07,966
'Sup?
514
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:11,214
There's a certain young lady
who wants to see you.
515
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,511
Done with women.
516
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:13,542
Working on myself.
517
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,646
Come on, you knucklehead.
518
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:17,618
Hope you weren't planning
519
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,617
on getting any reading
done tonight.
520
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:23,890
Kimmy! But how?
521
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,990
I bought her at a police auction
for 18 bucks.
522
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,563
She cost
seven grand!
523
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:32,831
Yeah, I reckon they're
not worth as much used.
524
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:41,143
♪ Love lift us up
where we belong ♪
525
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:44,210
♪ Where the eagles cry
526
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:48,810
♪ On a mountain high
527
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:55,245
♪ Love lift us up
where we belong... ♪
528
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:58,555
The heart settles
for what the heart can get.
529
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:02,688
♪ Where the clear winds blow
530
00:21:02,738 --> 00:21:07,288
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