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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,840
- [Car horn blaring]
- (Angela): Alan lambert, 93...
2
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,000
Died peacefully at home
surrounded by loved ones.
3
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,840
Reposing at his residence
on Sunday from 12 to six.
4
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,680
Funeral mass, Monday,
5
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,840
at the church of the
immaculate conception
6
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,560
before burial at kilronan
cemetery. Very sad.
7
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,840
But you know what else is
very sad? The middle east.
8
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,600
They are losing hundreds
of Alan lambert's a day.
9
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,240
Still the west looks on.
10
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,500
- Back to you, Gerry.
- Thanks, Angela.
11
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,440
- (Man on radio): 99 fm.
- What is she on like?
12
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,040
Angela, co... could
I have a little word?
13
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:40,240
- Oh, was everything okay?
- Ah, oh, it was fine, fine.
14
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,480
- Look, uh, we have a situation.
- Oh?
15
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,160
With the toilets.
16
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:46,740
The toilets are really dirty,
17
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,740
and we don't really have
anybody employed to handle
18
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:49,880
these kinds of things and...
19
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,440
[Inhales] ...You wouldn't
give it a little clean, would ya?
20
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,360
- But I have a degree in journalism.
- [Music playing]
21
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,480
[Toilet flushes]
22
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,240
Uncle Eugene is not
even cold in the ground
23
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,160
and Michelle is sending
invites to her engagement party.
24
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:10,480
Tramp.
25
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,040
Did she know that
Mick proposed to ya?
26
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,280
No. [Sighs] Sure,
you were the first I told.
27
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,000
- Does your ma know?
- No.
28
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,840
I was gonna tell
her after the funeral.
29
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,200
I was gonna cheer her up with
it but Michelle got to her first.
30
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,560
She's as cheered
up as she's gonna be.
31
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,320
I just wanted to have a party.
32
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,160
Get dressed up and
have a cake, wish me well.
33
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,840
- Well, feck it, you still can.
- I can't.
34
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,960
- Fuck 'em, you can!
- No.
35
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,260
You and Mick deserve a party.
36
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,760
Yeah, you and Mick have
been going out since the debs.
37
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,560
Michelle swans in and gets
engaged after two weeks.
38
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,240
- Fifty-six weeks.
- Doesn't matter.
39
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:45,560
Look.
40
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,880
You had your 50 cent
of the pool table, brid.
41
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:49,780
And just because Michelle
came in and took a shit
42
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,120
in one of the pockets, doesn't
mean you can't play pool.
43
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:53,400
Hmm.
44
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,040
Look it, why don't you have
a party that says, "I'm next".
45
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,520
And that way you're not
stepping on anyone's toes,
46
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,560
but nobody gets to skip
you in the queue again.
47
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:03,960
Like...
48
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,160
An engaged to be engaged party?
49
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,520
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
50
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:09,960
Fuck Michelle!
51
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,680
- Fuck Michelle.
- [Chuckles] Fuck Michelle.
52
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,560
- [All laughing]
- [Phone beeps]
53
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,240
Oh, shit. I'm gonna be
late for work, can I get a lift?
54
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:19,680
Yeah, yeah. No bother.
55
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:22,417
- I haven’t even decided...
- [Keys tapping]
56
00:02:22,447 --> 00:02:24,637
- If I wanna do it yet.
- Well, I'm doing the invite now.
57
00:02:24,662 --> 00:02:26,292
- What are you writing?
- Don't worry about it.
58
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,362
Well, just,
59
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,100
don't say anything about
the engagement thing,
60
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,400
- I want it to be a surprise.
- Uh, how about,
61
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,900
"brid Kincaid and Mick
monaghan cordially invite you
62
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,960
to the party to
end all parties"?
63
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,280
Well, people's expectations
might be too high.
64
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:43,020
So what'll I say? "You
are cordially invited to join
65
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,780
brid Kincaid and Mick
monaghan for sweet fuck all
66
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,280
in lancy's pub next weekend?"
67
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,960
Well, maybe just keep it
vague and say there'll be cake.
68
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,040
- People like cake.
- All right. Grand.
69
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,440
- [Keypad clicking]
- Done.
70
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,600
(Brid): What? Show us.
71
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,560
(Brid): Do you think maybe
that's a bit too vague?
72
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,760
Well, like you said,
people like cake. Here, look.
73
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,520
Open the glove box there.
74
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:17,720
- [Chuckles]
- Oh, that's lovely.
75
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,600
I've never been to a shit
party with dick straws.
76
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,200
- [Music playing]
- (Mary): Hmm.
77
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,200
(Man on radio):
99 fm, stick to it.
78
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,200
A common medication
is being recalled
79
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,160
amidst claims it may
cause brain aneurysms.
80
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,060
- Sorry, sorry.
- We'll be telling you which one next
81
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:42,440
as soon as Angela gets
on with the death notices.
82
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,640
(Man on radio): You're listening
to the death notices on 99 fm
83
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,520
- in association with jb's garage.
- [Car horn blaring]
84
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,640
[Pants] Thank you, Gerry.
Speaking of brain aneurysms,
85
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,800
Heather Gallagher died
peacefully in her sleep last night...
86
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,040
[Inhales] ...Funeral in
Christ the redeemer church,
87
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,520
ballinalack... [inhales]
Wednesday, 10:00 A.M.
88
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,560
Ronald brown, died peacefully
surrounded by loved ones
89
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:13,400
last Thursday, he was 98. [Scoffs]
That's a great age, isn't it, Gerry?
90
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,920
- Huh?
- Well, uh...
91
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,980
All right, you can't
be too sad about that.
92
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,040
- Maybe his family were.
- But the way medicine has moved on
93
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:21,320
and the robots,
94
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,020
will 98 be such a good
age in the future, hmm?
95
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,560
Uh, thanks Angela.
That's great stuff and...
96
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:27,680
Uh, Gerry just a...
97
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,000
Have you seen the film,
uh, bicentennial man?
98
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,440
- No. [Exhales]
- Just makes you think.
99
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,400
Plus, robbin Williams. [Sighs]
100
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,580
Great stuff, Angela. And stay
tuned 'cause after the break,
101
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,960
we'll be telling you
which medicines to avoid,
102
00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:42,760
- if you want to live.
- [Door opens]
103
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,480
(Man on radio):
99 fm, stick with it.
104
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,320
- [Door closes]
- [Music playing on radio]
105
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,600
That was some display
you put on in there.
106
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,960
[Chuckles] Well, thanks I
thought, I'd jush it up a bit.
107
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,600
- You ballsed it up a bit.
- What?
108
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:59,280
[Sighs] Look, I... I think that
maybe you're not best suited
109
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,520
- to the death notices.
- I was only trying to liven it up.
110
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:03,880
Make it interesting.
111
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,000
But if you want me to
stick to the script, I will.
112
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,260
It's just a bit boring.
113
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,480
[Sighs] It's supposed
to be a bit boring.
114
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:16,600
Look, you're very bad at
the death notices, Angela.
115
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,440
- But I can improve, I promise.
- But you're good at talking shite.
116
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,600
Thanks.
117
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,680
Now, there's a slot in the evening
we can try you on. Midnight till...
118
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,300
Whenever you want really.
119
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,820
You can do phone-in
show or something.
120
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,820
- Oh, my god, that would be amazing!
- On a trial basis.
121
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,320
Yes. This is fantastic!
122
00:05:33,502 --> 00:05:34,982
We don't really have
the budget for it, mind.
123
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,080
Yeah, but I... I... I
get to keep my old job.
124
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,320
- No.
- Oh.
125
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,600
But I have my own radio show.
126
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,360
And you have to keep
cleaning the toilets.
127
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:44,680
Deal.
128
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,720
- [Music playing on radio]
- [Door opens]
129
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:53,040
Should I come up with a dj name,
like, dusty rhodes or something?
130
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:54,400
Dusty vag.
131
00:05:54,880 --> 00:06:00,080
Clitty o'shea, flangela lansbury,
Christina reach-around, kony 2012,
132
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,320
Atlantic city, bikini wax Jack!
133
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,360
[Exhales] I'll have
a think about it so.
134
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,120
Girls, would you
ever marry a ghost?
135
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:08,680
What?
136
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,480
It's just this woman
is marrying a ghost.
137
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,160
I don't know.
138
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,680
He'd have to be a
fucking charming ghost.
139
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,400
Or, what if he was your boyfriend
before and you really loved him?
140
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,200
- How big is the dick?
- I don't know.
141
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,520
Like a good size, I'd say.
142
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,500
Would you have to
buy a dinner for him
143
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:30,440
- if you went out to a restaurant?
- Hang on, does this fucker have job?
144
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:35,240
Um, no, I don't think
so. Probably not.
145
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,480
How is he gonna pay his
half of the mortgage, so?
146
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,080
Yeah, is he just gonna
be in the house all day,
147
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,560
- sitting around?
- He sounds like a fucking loser.
148
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,560
(Man on radio): 99
fm. As cool as ice.
149
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:50,860
Hello.
150
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,520
You're welcomed to chat
line with me, flangela lansbury.
151
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,480
Tonight, we're going to
be talking about fluoride.
152
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:02,200
Tooth helping friend or
a poisonous substance
153
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,600
used by the government
to sedate the public?
154
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:11,160
Ring in, call me on
0890-24-30000-76.
155
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,800
[Dial tone]
156
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:21,920
[Clears throat]
157
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,760
Or the middle east,
158
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,160
who started it?
And who'll finish it?
159
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,760
The lines are open now.
160
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:34,560
[Sighs]
161
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:40,320
- I suppose, I'll play a song.
- (Man on radio): 99 fm.
162
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,120
Your local radio station.
163
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:48,040
[Music playing]
164
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,740
- (Man on radio): As cool as ice.
- Do you think 17 comes up
165
00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,760
a lot more than other numbers?
I feel like I see it all the time.
166
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,240
Next time, I play the lottery now,
I'm going to put down the number 17.
167
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,180
But, um... Don... Don't
you do that, either.
168
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,540
Don... don't you do that
because we'll have to split
169
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,880
- the jackpot.
- [Button clicks]
170
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,580
What's your favourite
lottery numbers,
171
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,400
which ones do you
think are going to win?
172
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:23,280
Call me on
0890-24-30000-76. Let's chat.
173
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,560
[Music playing]
174
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,720
- (Man on radio): 99 fm.
- Packed lunches, remember them?
175
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,080
What did you have in yours?
176
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:44,360
One time my mum put two frozen
fish fingers in my packed lunch.
177
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,800
Think she was a bit
messed up over the divorce.
178
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,320
Anyway, what's the strangest thing
you've ever had in your packed lunch?
179
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,560
- Call in now.
- [Phone ringing]
180
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,960
Hello caller, you're on the air.
181
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,880
(Boy on call): Hi, my mum
always gives me a penguin bar,
182
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,600
a sandwich, juice,
183
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,420
an apple. Really shit radio
show. Popcorn, sometimes.
184
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:12,600
Wait, what?
185
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,920
(Boy on call): Juice, penguin bar,
shit radio show. Popcorn, sandwich.
186
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:18,720
[Scoffs] That's not nice.
187
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,640
- (Boy on call): What?
- You know.
188
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,880
(Boy on call): Shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shi...
189
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,280
[Sighs] Call in if you have
anything constructive to add.
190
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:32,760
- [Phone ringing]
- [Angela gasps]
191
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,600
[Phone beeps]
192
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,600
Hello, caller. [Inhales deeply]
193
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,080
You're through to chat line.
194
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:44,260
- (Boy on call): Your show is shit!
- Wha...
195
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,260
- [Thumping]
- Our team are standing by,
196
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,160
waiting to take your call.
197
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,480
Straight after this
commercial break.
198
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,360
- [Indistinct chatter]
- [Girls laughing]
199
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,440
[Girls laughing]
200
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,040
- [Hoots]
- [Brid chuckles]
201
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,040
- [Gasps] So brid?
- Hmm?
202
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,480
Is your ma not coming?
203
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,400
- No.
- What?
204
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,560
Said she couldn't give her blessing
to a celebration of queue skipping.
205
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,360
- [Gasps]
- Even if there is cake. [Chuckles]
206
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,000
- Wagon.
- [Michelle giggling]
207
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,840
- (Brid): Oh, let's have a look.
- Oh, we don't have a ring yet.
208
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,000
I think we're gonna
go shopping for it soon.
209
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,320
- In Dublin.
- Oh, nice.
210
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,280
- (Michelle): Yeah.
- That'd be lovely for ya.
211
00:10:34,382 --> 00:10:36,312
- [Michelle giggling]
- Might as well make a night of it.
212
00:10:36,337 --> 00:10:38,237
I think we might get
white gold or platinum.
213
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,040
But to be honest, I don't know
what the difference is. [Chuckles]
214
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,800
I'll ask them which is the best.
215
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,400
- Hi, Mary. I'm Dylan.
- Hi, Dylan.
216
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,840
So tell me, do you, um,
remember when we...
217
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,360
Met at the graveyard
the other night?
218
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,480
No, Dylan. I do not. [Chuckles]
What's the craic anyway?
219
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,080
Who you here with?
220
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,040
Just the guys.
221
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,560
All right. And, uh,
what are they drinking?
222
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,160
- Uh, coke and stuff.
- What?
223
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:14,400
This is brids' big do. Nah,
no, that won't do at all, Dylan.
224
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,080
You hang on here.
225
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,800
(Man on TV): When
a lioness is in heat,
226
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,520
- he'll stay by her side constantly.
- [Doorbell rings]
227
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,160
Who's that at this hour?
228
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,720
I'll go and get rid of them.
229
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,520
(Man on TV): But while he
relaxes, his guard is down
230
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,360
and challenges arrive
uninvited into his dam.
231
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:36,120
But he can't afford to let his
guard down even for a moment.
232
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,920
- 'Cause challenges for her...
- (Woman): Ola seniora.
233
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,600
Yvonne? It's very late,
is everything okay?
234
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,240
- I came straight from the airport.
- [Chuckles] Oh, how lovely.
235
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,620
It's just me and John were
gonna have a quiet night in,
236
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,120
a few drinks in
front of the telly.
237
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,360
I must have read
your minds. [Laughs]
238
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,760
[Music playing]
239
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,360
So... [sighs] How's
the new show going?
240
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,260
Oh, grand, yeah.
It's still finding its feet,
241
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,720
and I'm tinkering with the
format a little bit, you know.
242
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,680
And yourself? The
cars, how is that going?
243
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,880
Good, yeah. Tipping along.
244
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,240
Wait... you could say
motoring along. [Chuckles]
245
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,080
[Sighs] Yeah, you could. Uh,
listen I'm gonna go get a drink.
246
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,140
- Yeah, not a bother.
- (Jim): Hi, Mary.
247
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,920
(Mary): Six more of
these blue yokes, please.
248
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,540
(Barman): Sorry and
who are these for again?
249
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:25,560
Uh...
250
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:30,240
That lad. That lad there,
your fellow there in the cap.
251
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,480
Your man.
252
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,360
And him.
253
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,600
Sound job.
254
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,480
- Well, hello Mary.
- How are you, Jim?
255
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,040
Send the rest over, yeah?
256
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:46,210
(Yvonne): Holiday was
great. All inclusive, so it was.
257
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,217
- (Caroline): Oh, yeah?
- Didn't have my hand to my pocket
258
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,240
all week.
259
00:12:49,357 --> 00:12:52,557
Well, except for the duty
free. [Chuckles] Try a bit of this.
260
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,480
- It is toffee flavoured.
- [Liquor pouring]
261
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,180
(Man on TV):
Life of the pride...
262
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,720
Adds a touch of class.
263
00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,960
(Man on TV): Miles of the
serengeti alone tonight...
264
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,620
I was worried it
wasn't alcohol at all
265
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,960
- just sweet stingy water.
- [Chokes]
266
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,360
- Ah. Does burn.
- That's a good sign!
267
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,120
Wait till I tell you who
I met on my travels.
268
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,980
(Man on TV): Maintain
his position on the group.
269
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,400
Harry dinnegan.
270
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,160
He's a medium now. Still
couldn't see the wife leaving him.
271
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,960
- Shocking. Did he look sad?
- Very tanned, Caroline.
272
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,380
But very sad in the eyes.
No amount of time can cover
273
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:30,960
- a pain like that.
- (Caroline): Hmm.
274
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,480
- (Yvonne): He runs a karaoke bar.
- [Horses galloping]
275
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,740
He got violent during
"careless whisper".
276
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,800
- It was carnage.
- Oh, my god.
277
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,280
- And it's such a beautiful song.
- Mm-hmm.
278
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,200
- [Music playing]
- (Mary): Blue shit all round lads!
279
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,320
Thanks.
280
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,240
- So, what you do for a living?
- I am a student.
281
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,960
- Oh, right. What are you studying?
- Ha, you know.
282
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,920
Ju... just a bit of
everything really.
283
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,680
Huh.
284
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,360
- And you?
- Hmm?
285
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,020
You're still in school,
how'd you get in here?
286
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,040
I don't know.
287
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,120
[Chuckles] So
are you all like...
288
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:12,640
- Children?
- No.
289
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,560
So what's the craic
with Snapchat?
290
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,240
Is it all just pictures of lads'
little gammy dicks? [Chuckles]
291
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,520
[Girl 1 chuckles] No.
292
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,780
This one lad sent me a
picture once, of his resting
293
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,680
on a chocolate bar for scale.
It was only three squares long.
294
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:24,800
God love him.
295
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,740
Hope he didn't eat
it afterwards. [Scoffs]
296
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,760
- Dirty bastard. [Laughs]
- [Chuckles]
297
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,700
[Angela gasps] Are you all excited
about the big announcement?
298
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,640
- Ah, yeah.
- Oh, great!
299
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,160
I tell ya, this town is not
gonna know what hit it.
300
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,840
Oh, you're like our very
own Charles and Diana.
301
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:44,280
Ex... except, St... Still alive and...
And still in love with each other.
302
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:45,800
[Chuckle]
303
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,140
- (Gemma): Take a video.
- (Girl 1): Quick, quick.
304
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,380
- Smile.
- [Camera shutter clicks]
305
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,640
- Oh, to be young again, huh?
- [Chuckles] You need more.
306
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,200
- Yeah, more.
- Come on, down it.
307
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:54,420
Down it, do it. Go on!
308
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,440
[Sighs] Oh, yeah. It looks
like good craic, all right.
309
00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,360
Come here, Mick. Have
you got a number for a taxi?
310
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,360
I've got to head off
to work in a little bit.
311
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,920
- Yeah, uh...
- Yeah.
312
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:05,840
Oh.
313
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,880
- How you getting on anyway?
- Oh. Living the dream.
314
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,600
♪ Living in a shit hole
it's nothing but a kip ♪
315
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,960
♪ it's the very same
as living in a skip ♪
316
00:15:15,377 --> 00:15:17,477
♪ I go up the road and
I have a game of pool ♪
317
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,920
♪ yeah, I rather do
that than go to school ♪
318
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,920
♪ this lad I know is such a
fool the things he says are ♪
319
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,040
♪ really, really cruel ♪
320
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,600
♪ but ballybeag is
such a pain it's... ♪
321
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,840
[Sighs] Pain, pain, pain, pain,
322
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,560
- Lane, gain, stain.
- [Snaps fingers]
323
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,360
♪ Ballybeag is such pain
it is driving me insane ♪
324
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,600
[Both laugh]
325
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,840
- [Clears throat] Mary, uh...
- Uh, keep going, Dylan.
326
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:43,920
What are you doing?
327
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,880
Dylan's clearly rapping.
328
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,000
Go on.
329
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,600
Yo. Okay, so...
330
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,280
♪ Ballybeag is such
a boring place ♪
331
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,920
♪ it's like it's like
as dead as space ♪
332
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,440
♪ so when are we ever
gonna get a sunny day ♪
333
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,880
♪ yes, Jesus Christ we're
in the month of may ♪
334
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,240
♪ my parents always sent me
to school yeah, that was really ♪
335
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,880
♪ really, really cruel I go
to bingo and I never win ♪
336
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,400
♪ I get thick in the end ♪
337
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,580
♪ I throw the book in the bin ♪
338
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:15,800
[Chuckles]
339
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,240
[Both chuckle]
340
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,220
- Mum said I can have one or two.
- Look, I don't mind, chicken,
341
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,180
just don't go too
mad, all right?
342
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,400
No acting the bollocks
and drinking shots.
343
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,480
'Cause if you get
caught that's the last time
344
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,380
you'll be drinking
indoors for a few years.
345
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,360
I know, no mixing.
346
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,680
- [Scoffs]
- What is this party for, anyway?
347
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,060
- Fuck knows.
- Look,
348
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,540
I've to head off and get a taxi.
I'll chat to you later, all right?
349
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,060
- I'm gonna go to work.
- (Gemma): Bye.
350
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,200
Bye.
351
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,200
Mix.
352
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,600
- [Laughs]
- Oh, she's with a new fella now,
353
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,200
- oh!
- El chapo.
354
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,820
- Oh.
- He got a chipper Van in naas.
355
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,440
- They met at the ploughing.
- Fair play to her.
356
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,280
I'd say he's good for her now.
357
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:57,920
Still better than
that other fella,
358
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,960
- the eurovision bastard.
- [Groans]
359
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,400
- A cruel man.
- [Phone ringing]
360
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,360
- [Thud]
- (Yuonne): John.
361
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,600
- (Caroline): Hi, chicken.
- Do you know him, John?
362
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,340
- [Indistinct chatter over phone]
- The lad from the eurovision?
363
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,860
- (John): Huh?
- (Caroline): Shh, shh.
364
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,720
- I can hardly hear you, pet.
- Your man.
365
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,800
Hang on and I'll pop outside.
366
00:17:15,022 --> 00:17:16,792
(Man on TV): You think
he did all right for himself,
367
00:17:16,815 --> 00:17:19,335
- huh?
- Cruel bastard so he was.
368
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,040
- He always putting her down in song.
- [Door closes]
369
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,440
Very snide.
370
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,240
[Sighs]
371
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:32,840
[Thud]
372
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,180
- [Music playing]
- Hello, ma, can you hear me?
373
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,900
I can, yeah. Is everything all right,
are you having a good night, pet?
374
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,800
Yeah, ma, I know I said
I'd a lift sorted for tonight
375
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,320
but that's after fallen through.
376
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,840
Oh, that's a shame, I
won't lie to you Angela,
377
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,080
Yvonne has come around
with some duty-free drink
378
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,520
and I'm definitely over
the limit. Come here.
379
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,520
Robbie Williams was
on the television, earlier.
380
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,220
Did you know he suffers
from mental health issues
381
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,720
just like you? Isn't
that great? So brave.
382
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,640
And you wouldn't know though
'cause he's such great craic.
383
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,000
Yeah, all right, mum, thanks.
384
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,320
(Caroline): You need to
learn how to drive, chicken.
385
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,060
I know I shouted at you that
time you stalled when you were 15,
386
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,400
but it's not that
hard, I promise you.
387
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,520
That's the biggest regret of
my life, shouting at you that time.
388
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,720
- Yeah, all right, ma.
- Robbie Williams knows how to drive.
389
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,980
[Sighs] Right, ma,
I have to go, okay?
390
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,460
I'll chat to you later, all
right. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
391
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:25,560
[Line disconnects]
392
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,980
[Indistinct chatter]
393
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:36,200
I was just saying to John there,
he needs to get his aura looked at.
394
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,360
It is fierce inflamed.
395
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,000
John!
396
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,840
I'm going to bring you over
some burning sage, John.
397
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:49,560
- [Sighs] Sure the man is destroyed.
- [Footsteps receding]
398
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,640
- [Indistinct chatter]
- [Coughs] Oh, cheers, bud.
399
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,400
- You okay, baby?
- Yeah.
400
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,280
What were you
talking to Mary about?
401
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,280
Nothing, just wanted
to see what she was at.
402
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:00,920
She doesn't wanna
talk to me, though.
403
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,260
- I think we should go home.
- Oh, yeah.
404
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:07,200
- Let's just go to the Jacks first.
- [Woman hooting]
405
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,960
[Music playing]
406
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,000
[Chuckles]
407
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,420
(Michelle): Jim, what
are you staring at?
408
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,120
- Just go to the toilets.
- [Mary laughing]
409
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,160
We're gonna head off, guys.
410
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,880
I think Jim might have
had a bit too much to drink.
411
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,640
Oh, are you passing by the
radio station by any chance?
412
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,360
It's just, my taxi
hasn't turned up.
413
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:33,820
Oh yeah, no bother.
414
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,540
Oh god, uh, well, just
wait there a second
415
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,300
and I'll just make this
little announcement
416
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,360
really quickly. Just...
417
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,800
Excuse me! [Clears throat]
Excuse me, everybody! [Chuckles]
418
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,440
Sorry, I... just a second now.
[Chuckles] I was just going to, uh...
419
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,320
We're all delighted
420
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,280
that Jim and Michelle
are engaged. [Chuckles]
421
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,800
But their party
is next week, so.
422
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,480
[Chuckles]
423
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:15,340
Um... and as you all know,
that this is me and Mick's party.
424
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,360
- [Chuckling]
- (Guests): Aw!
425
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:18,680
Aw.
426
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,600
Uh...
427
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,600
And as you all know...
428
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,600
Me and Mick have been
together for a really long time.
429
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,680
- So we thought...
- [Door opens]
430
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,160
- Feck it, sure.
- I've an announcement to make.
431
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,600
- [Crowd gasps]
- Jim, I think, uh...
432
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:38,960
Let me say my peace.
433
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,400
Uh, I... I can't do it anymore.
434
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,560
I just... I just... I just
can't do it. [Sighs]
435
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,520
Michelle, I... [sighs]
436
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,960
- I love Mary.
- [Crowd gasps]
437
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,300
- [Mary exhales]
- [Indistinct chatter]
438
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,680
I love Mary!
439
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,560
Uh, Mary, I...
440
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,560
I... I love you.
441
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,200
[Sobs]
442
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,200
- Michelle!
- Yeah?
443
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,520
Could I still get a lift off ya?
444
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,000
Uh... yeah.
445
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,400
- [Indistinct chatter]
- [Michelle sobbing]
446
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,320
- [Groans]
- [Guests gasp]
447
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,000
- [Dylan grunting]
- [Jim groaning]
448
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,520
Um...
449
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:23,800
Me and Mick,
450
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,480
- we just wanted to announce...
- [Retches, coughs]
451
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,440
- (Jim): Mary!
- Awkward.
452
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,200
[Gemma retches]
453
00:21:32,607 --> 00:21:34,017
(Mick): Better out
than in. [Chuckles]
454
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,680
- [Dylan grunting]
- [Jim groaning]
455
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,060
(Mary): Come on, Gemma,
no one noticed. Come on.
456
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,640
- [Gemma sobbing]
- [Dylan grunting]
457
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,740
[Indistinct chatter]
458
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,180
- [Both grunting]
- [Brid grunts]
459
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:47,360
[Jim grunts] Oh! Yeah!
460
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,080
Come on, brid.
461
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,600
- [Brid sobs]
- That was a nice kick.
462
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,400
[Michelle sobbing]
463
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,720
Thanks for the lift.
464
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:04,840
- [Music playing]
- Here. Here's some money for um...
465
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:06,720
Petrol, yeah.
466
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,280
[Car horn blares]
467
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,880
♪ Let me take you
by the hand... ♪
468
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,440
- [Car horn blares]
- [Sobbing]
469
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,320
[Car horn blaring]
470
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,960
[Sighs] No fecking way.
471
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,840
I'm not cleaning up their shite.
472
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,520
(Man on call): Hello? Hello?
473
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:42,140
[Stammers] Hello? Sorry.
Uh, you're live on chat line.
474
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,480
- What's on your mind?
- (Man on call): Soup.
475
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,420
- Uh, okay.
- (Man on call): Now there's a lot of
476
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,160
different types of soup.
Wouldn't you agree, now?
477
00:22:50,527 --> 00:22:51,967
- Uh, yes.
- (Man on call): Uh, yeah.
478
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,400
If I were to just talk about
soup, we could be here forever.
479
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,000
You can have a different type
of soup every day of your life
480
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,920
and die not having
tasted every kind.
481
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,440
That's something I've
resigned myself to, so.
482
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,960
Now that's enough,
right, from both of you!
483
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,560
[Footsteps approaching]
484
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:11,880
- [Jim grunts]
- Arsehole.
485
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,240
- [Both grunting]
- (Mick): Lads! You hav...
486
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,720
All right! All right!
487
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,920
(Man): Right, right,
right. Come on, come on.
488
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:23,500
Cop on now to fuck.
489
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,180
- Right, sorry, sorry.
- [Sighs] Come on.
490
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,120
- Sorry, Mick.
- [Jim sighs]
491
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:28,860
(Man on call): According
to the dictionary
492
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,880
one can eat or drink soup.
493
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,040
[Gasps]
494
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,080
(Man on call): There's
vegetable obviously, classic,
495
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:43,840
tomato, cream of tomato,
cream of mushroom...
496
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,760
Come here, would
you ever marry a ghost?
497
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,120
(Man on call): No, I'd
have no interest in that now.
498
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,000
- No.
- All right.
499
00:23:57,257 --> 00:23:59,417
- (Man on call): Leek and potato.
- That's all we have time for.
500
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,600
- (Man on call): Huh? Now what was...
- [Button clicks]
501
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:12,800
[Music playing]
502
00:24:12,850 --> 00:24:17,400
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