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## I'll bet
We've been together ##
3
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## For a million years ##
4
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:20,198
## And I'll bet
We'll be together ##
5
00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:23,466
## For a million more ##
6
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,801
## Ooh, it's like
I started breathin' ##
7
00:00:25,836 --> 00:00:28,269
## On the night we kissed ##
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00:00:28,304 --> 00:00:31,302
## And I can't remember ##
9
00:00:31,337 --> 00:00:34,220
## What I ever did before ##
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## What would we do, baby ##
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00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,636
## Without us? ##
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## What would we do, baby ##
13
00:00:42,637 --> 00:00:45,236
## Without us? ##
14
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## And there ain't
No nothin' ##
15
00:00:47,936 --> 00:00:49,870
## We can't love
Each other through ##
16
00:00:49,905 --> 00:00:51,236
## Ooh-hoo ##
17
00:00:51,271 --> 00:00:54,038
## What would we do, baby ##
18
00:00:54,073 --> 00:00:57,156
## Without us? ##
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00:00:57,191 --> 00:01:00,239
## Sha-la-la-la ##
20
00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:05,154
So, uh, basically,
what we're looking for
21
00:01:05,189 --> 00:01:06,939
is one more helping hand
around the house
22
00:01:06,974 --> 00:01:08,471
while my wife
is off her feet.
23
00:01:08,506 --> 00:01:10,372
Then help with the baby
after it's born.
24
00:01:10,407 --> 00:01:12,972
Uh, light housework, uh,
25
00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:15,004
shopping, errands, cooking,
that kind of thing.
26
00:01:15,039 --> 00:01:17,906
I believe the, uh, salary
is listed there in the ad.
27
00:01:19,808 --> 00:01:21,574
I thought
it was a misprint.
28
00:01:26,210 --> 00:01:29,108
Uh, no, that's... That's
the right figure.
29
00:01:29,143 --> 00:01:31,377
But you have three children,
Mr. Keaton.
30
00:01:31,412 --> 00:01:33,611
What you're offering me
is barely enough
31
00:01:33,646 --> 00:01:35,575
if you have two children.
32
00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:37,644
Either you'll have to
pay me more,
33
00:01:37,679 --> 00:01:39,679
or get rid of
one of your children.
34
00:01:43,209 --> 00:01:46,346
Um, I, uh, take it you don't
like children?
35
00:01:46,381 --> 00:01:48,329
Children make messes,
36
00:01:48,364 --> 00:01:50,170
all kinds of messes.
37
00:01:50,205 --> 00:01:52,875
And messes make germs,
38
00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:55,511
nasty little germs.
39
00:01:55,546 --> 00:01:57,976
And germs carry disease,
40
00:01:58,011 --> 00:02:01,314
disease which
erodes the living tissue,
41
00:02:01,349 --> 00:02:03,479
the very fiber of life.
44
00:02:21,818 --> 00:02:23,183
I liked her.
45
00:02:24,582 --> 00:02:26,549
Dad, there's one more
person left to interview.
46
00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:27,680
All right.
47
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,351
Maybe we'll be
lucky this time, Alex.
48
00:02:29,386 --> 00:02:31,283
Uh, send her in, Jen.
49
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,317
Come on in.
50
00:02:37,018 --> 00:02:39,150
Show him
your tattoo, Max.
51
00:02:39,185 --> 00:02:40,482
My pleasure.
52
00:02:40,517 --> 00:02:42,553
Uh, we really don't
need to see it.
53
00:02:42,588 --> 00:02:44,350
You sure?
No charge.
54
00:02:44,385 --> 00:02:47,184
I'm sure. Uh, girls,
why don't you go upstairs,
55
00:02:47,219 --> 00:02:48,920
keep Mom company?
56
00:02:48,955 --> 00:02:50,421
Oh, okay. Bye, Max.
57
00:02:50,456 --> 00:02:51,887
Bye, doll face.
58
00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:56,953
I'm, uh, Steven Keaton,
59
00:02:56,988 --> 00:02:58,789
and this is, uh,
my son Alex.
60
00:02:58,824 --> 00:03:00,239
Max Schneider. Charmed.
61
00:03:00,274 --> 00:03:01,654
Yeah, uh,
please sit down.
62
00:03:02,757 --> 00:03:05,372
So, um, you want
to be a housekeeper?
63
00:03:05,407 --> 00:03:07,987
That's right.
Housekeeper and nanny.
64
00:03:11,289 --> 00:03:12,489
And can you cook?
65
00:03:13,289 --> 00:03:15,355
Julia Child is my aunt.
66
00:03:17,391 --> 00:03:19,622
Um, how are you
with children?
67
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:22,556
Great. I got kids
all over the world.
68
00:03:24,758 --> 00:03:28,090
Uh, now, these are just
routine questions.
69
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,889
Uh, let's, uh...
70
00:03:29,924 --> 00:03:31,759
Have you ever
been in prison?
71
00:03:33,259 --> 00:03:35,024
Six years.
72
00:03:37,727 --> 00:03:40,025
Well, we'll be in touch.
73
00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:41,325
Hey, you know,
74
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,992
I got really good vibes
about you people.
75
00:03:44,027 --> 00:03:47,127
This here could
finally be my niche.
76
00:03:47,162 --> 00:03:50,026
Well, uh, thank you very much
for coming, Mr. Schneider.
77
00:03:51,962 --> 00:03:55,494
Did I mention that I know how
to operate a drill press?
78
00:03:55,529 --> 00:03:57,461
Uh, n-no, no.
No, you didn't.
79
00:03:57,496 --> 00:03:59,097
Put it down, kid, huh?
80
00:03:59,132 --> 00:04:00,163
Take care.
81
00:04:02,495 --> 00:04:03,761
I think...
82
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,863
I think I've had about enough
of this for one night.
83
00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:11,028
You can screen anyone else
who comes along.
84
00:04:11,063 --> 00:04:14,398
If you see anyone good, uh,
I'll be upstairs working.
85
00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:16,448
Give me a call.
Okay, Dad.
86
00:04:16,483 --> 00:04:18,428
Whoa.
87
00:04:18,463 --> 00:04:20,298
Coming, coming.
88
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,799
Hello, I'm Karen Nicholson.
89
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,000
I've come to apply for
the housekeeping position.
90
00:04:34,201 --> 00:04:35,767
You have?
91
00:04:35,802 --> 00:04:36,867
Yes.
92
00:04:37,934 --> 00:04:40,035
Uh, come in, come in.
93
00:04:42,002 --> 00:04:43,169
Uh, here.
94
00:04:45,434 --> 00:04:46,534
Thank you.
95
00:04:48,402 --> 00:04:50,135
Won't you
please sit down?
96
00:04:54,638 --> 00:04:55,702
Okay.
97
00:04:55,737 --> 00:04:57,903
I, uh, have a few
questions here
98
00:04:57,938 --> 00:04:59,835
I must ask you.
99
00:05:01,438 --> 00:05:02,705
Uh...
100
00:05:04,503 --> 00:05:06,337
Uh, do you have
any references?
101
00:05:07,136 --> 00:05:09,137
No.
102
00:05:09,172 --> 00:05:11,538
Uh, do you, uh,
have any experience
103
00:05:11,573 --> 00:05:13,470
a- a-as a housekeeper?
104
00:05:13,505 --> 00:05:14,808
No.
105
00:05:16,373 --> 00:05:17,338
Okay.
106
00:05:17,373 --> 00:05:18,807
Uh, can you cook?
107
00:05:18,842 --> 00:05:20,906
Uh, cook?
108
00:05:20,941 --> 00:05:22,275
No.
109
00:05:25,174 --> 00:05:27,640
So you, uh...
You have no experience,
110
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:28,740
uh, no references,
111
00:05:28,775 --> 00:05:30,675
and, uh...
And you can't cook.
112
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:32,107
That's right.
113
00:05:35,744 --> 00:05:37,009
You're hired.
114
00:05:38,309 --> 00:05:40,439
Congratulations.
115
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,377
Come on, Dad, have a little
faith in my judgment, okay?
116
00:05:43,412 --> 00:05:44,641
As soon as you
get to know her,
117
00:05:44,676 --> 00:05:46,643
you will realize that I made
the correct decision.
118
00:05:46,678 --> 00:05:47,943
That is not the point, Alex.
119
00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:49,278
You had no right
to hire anyone
120
00:05:49,313 --> 00:05:50,543
without
consulting me first.
121
00:05:50,578 --> 00:05:52,475
Well, Dad, I knew
you were working,
122
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:54,910
and I didn't see any point
in bothering you.
123
00:05:54,945 --> 00:05:57,195
Besides, Dad,
in my wildest imaginations,
124
00:05:57,230 --> 00:05:59,445
I couldn't dream
of a better woman...
125
00:06:03,345 --> 00:06:04,847
for the job.
126
00:06:06,146 --> 00:06:08,244
Is that Miss Nicholson
here yet?
127
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:10,076
Nope, nope, not yet.
128
00:06:10,111 --> 00:06:13,847
I hope you didn't hire some
dumpy-looking old lady, Alex.
129
00:06:13,882 --> 00:06:15,447
Jennifer, you shouldn't
be so concerned
130
00:06:15,482 --> 00:06:17,312
with the way
a person looks.
131
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,046
How can you
be so shallow?
132
00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:26,347
I hired the person
133
00:06:26,382 --> 00:06:28,146
who I thought
was best for the job.
134
00:06:28,181 --> 00:06:30,715
I don't even remember
what she looked like.
135
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:34,233
Hi, Alex.
136
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,716
Hi, Karen.
137
00:06:37,848 --> 00:06:39,984
Is it coming back
to you, Alex?
138
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,515
Uh, ahem, Dad,
Jennifer, Mallory,
139
00:06:43,550 --> 00:06:47,017
I would like you to meet
our new housekeeper.
140
00:06:47,052 --> 00:06:49,484
It's nice to meet all of you.
I'm Karen Nicholson.
141
00:06:49,519 --> 00:06:50,883
Hi.
Our pleasure.
142
00:06:50,918 --> 00:06:52,553
Alex didn't mention
he had two sisters.
143
00:06:53,486 --> 00:06:54,586
I forgot.
144
00:06:55,986 --> 00:06:57,452
Oh, that's for us.
145
00:06:57,487 --> 00:06:58,450
Bye.
Bye.
146
00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,888
It was nice meeting you.
Thank you.
147
00:06:59,923 --> 00:07:01,153
Yeah, um,
see you later.
148
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,820
Okay, bye.
149
00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:05,116
Well, hey, uh,
150
00:07:05,151 --> 00:07:06,853
why don't we all
get better acquainted, huh?
151
00:07:06,888 --> 00:07:09,354
Let's... Let's sit down.
Good idea. Come on, Karen.
152
00:07:09,389 --> 00:07:11,687
Ah, I'll get that, Dad.
153
00:07:13,089 --> 00:07:14,688
There we go.
154
00:07:14,723 --> 00:07:16,620
Mr. Keaton...
Watch the table, Karen.
155
00:07:16,655 --> 00:07:18,419
It's a little wobbly.
Oh, yeah.
156
00:07:18,454 --> 00:07:21,422
Mr. Keaton, I just want to
thank you so much for this job.
157
00:07:21,457 --> 00:07:23,621
You have no idea how much
it means to me.
158
00:07:23,656 --> 00:07:25,953
Well, uh, Alex told me how well
the interview went
159
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:29,156
and, uh, based on that, I have
complete confidence in you.
160
00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:31,220
I am so relieved
to hear you say that.
161
00:07:31,255 --> 00:07:33,107
You know, in your ad,
you said you were looking
162
00:07:33,142 --> 00:07:35,366
for someone with experience
as a housekeeper.
163
00:07:35,401 --> 00:07:37,591
When I read that
I didn't figure I had a shot.
164
00:07:43,126 --> 00:07:45,693
Uh, you, uh...
You have no experience?
165
00:07:45,728 --> 00:07:48,260
Well, Dad, she means
she has no experience
166
00:07:48,295 --> 00:07:50,692
in the literal sense.
167
00:07:50,727 --> 00:07:52,657
But as Jean-Paul Sartre said,
168
00:07:52,692 --> 00:07:55,061
isn't the act
of simply being alive,
169
00:07:55,096 --> 00:07:56,193
you know,
suffering through
170
00:07:56,228 --> 00:07:58,626
the existential angst
that is life,
171
00:07:58,661 --> 00:08:02,427
isn't that...?
172
00:08:02,462 --> 00:08:05,728
Isn't that the best kind
of experience...
173
00:08:07,561 --> 00:08:09,796
for being a housekeeper?
174
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:19,697
You ever see
Sartre's house?
175
00:08:24,566 --> 00:08:26,430
I'm a quick learner,
Mr. Keaton, you'll see,
176
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,861
and I'm very eager
to get started.
177
00:08:28,896 --> 00:08:31,566
Well, there is something
to be said for enthusiasm.
178
00:08:31,601 --> 00:08:32,730
Absolutely.
179
00:08:32,765 --> 00:08:35,832
It's the most important
trait in a housekeeper.
180
00:08:35,867 --> 00:08:38,100
That, and a little
button nose.
181
00:08:43,601 --> 00:08:46,200
I do have something
you can do, uh, Karen.
182
00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,865
My wife should be
getting up soon
183
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,497
and she's going to
want some breakfast.
184
00:08:49,532 --> 00:08:51,502
I've got to get going here,
so would you mind?
185
00:08:51,537 --> 00:08:52,634
What does she like to eat?
186
00:08:52,669 --> 00:08:54,533
Well, a couple
of eggs, usually.
187
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,767
Eggs. No problem.
188
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,135
Eggs...
189
00:09:00,369 --> 00:09:01,368
Eggs?
190
00:09:02,234 --> 00:09:04,167
In the refrigerator.
191
00:09:07,204 --> 00:09:08,169
Hey.
192
00:09:10,402 --> 00:09:11,905
How...? How does
she like them?
193
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:13,838
Uh, a little boiled.
Okay.
194
00:09:15,604 --> 00:09:16,704
There we go.
Thanks.
195
00:09:17,837 --> 00:09:19,206
Okay.
196
00:09:23,371 --> 00:09:24,803
That's not right, is it?
197
00:09:24,838 --> 00:09:26,455
No, no, no,
that's... That's okay.
198
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:28,072
I mean, some people
boil eggs one way,
199
00:09:28,107 --> 00:09:29,906
and some people...
200
00:09:29,941 --> 00:09:31,705
boil them another.
201
00:09:32,975 --> 00:09:35,474
That's what makes
America great.
202
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:37,038
I could tape it up.
203
00:09:37,073 --> 00:09:39,073
Uh, n...
204
00:09:39,108 --> 00:09:40,673
Uh, no, no, um,
205
00:09:40,708 --> 00:09:42,807
she doesn't
like them taped.
206
00:09:44,073 --> 00:09:45,906
Well, here, I'd better
start over again.
207
00:09:45,941 --> 00:09:46,976
Oh!
208
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,274
I'll get that tape.
209
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:57,274
I'm having so much fun.
210
00:09:57,309 --> 00:09:59,776
This is the first load
of laundry I've ever done here.
211
00:09:59,811 --> 00:10:01,277
Come to think of it,
it's the first load
212
00:10:01,312 --> 00:10:02,411
of laundry
I've ever done.
213
00:10:02,446 --> 00:10:03,508
I don't believe it.
214
00:10:03,543 --> 00:10:04,910
You've never
done laundry before?
215
00:10:04,945 --> 00:10:06,228
That's right.
216
00:10:06,263 --> 00:10:07,512
I believe her.
217
00:10:14,546 --> 00:10:16,279
Those were Dad's.
218
00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:21,646
We'll just
give them to Alex.
219
00:10:24,279 --> 00:10:25,644
Hi.
220
00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:27,397
Alex, I'm glad you're here.
221
00:10:27,432 --> 00:10:29,080
Karen, I'm glad you're here.
222
00:10:29,115 --> 00:10:30,646
I need you to help me
carry the table.
223
00:10:30,681 --> 00:10:32,913
I... I took it outside to even up
the legs a little bit.
224
00:10:32,948 --> 00:10:34,631
Oh, great.
Hey, let's celebrate.
225
00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:36,315
How about, uh,
dinner and a show?
226
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:40,013
Yeah, I love having
Karen around.
227
00:10:40,048 --> 00:10:42,283
She's like the big
sister I never had.
228
00:10:42,318 --> 00:10:44,250
Yeah, I feel the same way.
229
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,048
I... I mean, uh,
230
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:54,683
the even bigger sister
I've never had.
231
00:10:56,352 --> 00:10:57,518
Okay, watch your back.
232
00:10:57,553 --> 00:10:58,616
Here we go.
233
00:10:58,651 --> 00:10:59,884
I hope this will
be all right.
234
00:10:59,919 --> 00:11:01,182
I worked on it all day.
235
00:11:01,217 --> 00:11:03,686
Oh, I'm sure
it'll be fine, Karen.
236
00:11:03,721 --> 00:11:04,819
Here we go.
Thanks.
237
00:11:04,854 --> 00:11:06,084
There we go.
238
00:11:15,018 --> 00:11:17,587
Maybe it'll look okay
with the good china on it.
239
00:11:17,622 --> 00:11:19,253
Ah, that'll do it.
Hey, good idea.
240
00:11:19,288 --> 00:11:21,552
Great idea.
Okay.
241
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:29,386
Think Dad will notice?
242
00:11:29,421 --> 00:11:31,990
Only if he keeps
his eyes open.
243
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,188
Karen is so nice.
244
00:11:33,223 --> 00:11:35,355
I don't want her
to get into trouble.
245
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:36,554
Now, now,
she doesn't have to.
246
00:11:36,589 --> 00:11:38,689
Not... Not if the three
of us stick together
247
00:11:38,724 --> 00:11:40,790
and help her through
this little crisis.
248
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,620
I think she's great.
249
00:11:42,655 --> 00:11:44,020
All right.
Okay, then it's settled.
250
00:11:44,055 --> 00:11:46,324
Listen, why don't we go
help her with that china, okay?
251
00:11:49,624 --> 00:11:50,823
Oops.
252
00:12:12,329 --> 00:12:15,194
Uh, hey, hi, Dad.
Have a good day?
253
00:12:16,928 --> 00:12:19,163
Fine. What happened
to the table?
254
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:21,929
The, uh... The what?
255
00:12:21,964 --> 00:12:22,960
The table.
256
00:12:22,995 --> 00:12:26,328
That table used
to be a lot higher.
257
00:12:26,363 --> 00:12:29,430
May... May... Maybe you just
shot up at work, Dad.
258
00:12:29,465 --> 00:12:31,796
You wear lifts?
Uh-huh. All right.
259
00:12:33,332 --> 00:12:34,965
Hi, Mr. Keaton.
How was your day?
260
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,495
Uh, not... Not too bad.
261
00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:38,062
Say, Karen,
would you happen to know...?
262
00:12:38,097 --> 00:12:40,531
Oh, Daddy,
we love you so much.
263
00:12:40,566 --> 00:12:42,965
Where did you
get that tailored?
264
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,229
It looks great.
Okay, fine.
265
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,430
Would... Would you
happen to know
266
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,099
what happened
to that table?
267
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:50,065
Oh, I fixed it.
268
00:12:52,364 --> 00:12:53,733
You fixed it?
269
00:12:53,768 --> 00:12:55,684
Let's, uh,
set the table, girls.
270
00:12:55,719 --> 00:12:57,809
Mr. Keaton,
I just want you to know
271
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,606
this has been
the best day of my life.
272
00:12:59,641 --> 00:13:01,621
I spent three hours
with your wife.
273
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,602
I can tell you
she's a wonderful woman.
274
00:13:03,637 --> 00:13:04,766
Thank you.
275
00:13:04,801 --> 00:13:06,698
And Mallory and...
And Jenny here,
276
00:13:06,733 --> 00:13:08,836
I just feel like I've
known them all day.
277
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,853
Of course, I have.
278
00:13:10,888 --> 00:13:12,800
And this boy here...
279
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,404
Oh, he's like
the brother I never had.
280
00:13:16,937 --> 00:13:19,035
Don't... Don't think of me
as your brother.
281
00:13:21,035 --> 00:13:23,102
Think... Think of me as a guy.
282
00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:25,786
The... The... The guy
you never had.
283
00:13:25,821 --> 00:13:28,436
Actually,
the guy you could have.
284
00:13:29,973 --> 00:13:31,738
Come on, everybody, let's eat.
Great.
285
00:13:33,137 --> 00:13:36,973
Okay. Boy, I'm looking
forward to this, Karen.
286
00:13:37,008 --> 00:13:38,471
This is gonna be good.
287
00:13:39,671 --> 00:13:41,705
I know you're really
gonna love this salad.
288
00:13:47,239 --> 00:13:49,104
Yum.
289
00:13:49,139 --> 00:13:50,975
Boy, looks good.
290
00:13:52,441 --> 00:13:54,840
Got to admit, Dad.
She's working out, huh?
291
00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:01,439
Yo.
292
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,808
Hey, Dad.
293
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,143
Hi, Alex.
294
00:14:06,243 --> 00:14:08,375
How...? Uh, how did things go
around the house today?
295
00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:09,993
Oh, great. Great, Dad.
296
00:14:10,028 --> 00:14:11,542
Karen is doing great.
297
00:14:11,577 --> 00:14:13,477
You know, she only
broke the, uh, vacuum,
298
00:14:13,512 --> 00:14:15,944
the blender and the TV.
299
00:14:15,979 --> 00:14:18,342
She's getting better.
300
00:14:18,377 --> 00:14:20,611
Yeah, and she... She fixed
the stuff she broke yesterday.
301
00:14:20,646 --> 00:14:23,743
The, uh, toaster, sink
and washing machine.
302
00:14:23,778 --> 00:14:25,346
So... So we're not
gaining any ground,
303
00:14:25,381 --> 00:14:26,979
but, uh, we're not
losing any.
304
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:29,811
We're holding steady, Dad.
305
00:14:31,881 --> 00:14:34,213
Hey, hey, can I fix you
a cold drink?
306
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,198
Uh, the ice maker's
not working, Alex.
307
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:37,990
Karen broke it a week ago.
No, no, no, no.
308
00:14:38,025 --> 00:14:39,748
She told me that she
took care of it today.
309
00:14:39,783 --> 00:14:41,015
I'll get it myself, Alex.
Thanks.
310
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,282
So, uh, how was your day
at school, Alex?
311
00:14:56,648 --> 00:14:58,179
Real good.
Real good, Dad.
312
00:14:58,214 --> 00:15:01,731
No, no. I... I mean specifically
that, uh, that English class.
313
00:15:01,766 --> 00:15:05,249
You, uh... You said you were
having a little trouble with it.
314
00:15:10,916 --> 00:15:13,118
Doing great, Dad.
I'm doing great.
315
00:15:13,153 --> 00:15:14,485
Here, uh, hang on a sec.
316
00:15:15,651 --> 00:15:16,952
Take a look at that.
317
00:15:30,254 --> 00:15:33,588
So, uh... So how are
the rest of your classes?
318
00:15:33,623 --> 00:15:36,422
Good, Dad, good. I am, uh,
really glad I chose Leland.
319
00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,054
You know, and
the Economics department's
320
00:15:38,089 --> 00:15:39,319
everything
I hoped it would be.
321
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:51,789
Who are we kidding, Alex?
322
00:15:55,624 --> 00:15:57,740
She's not working out.
323
00:15:57,775 --> 00:15:59,856
She's totally incompetent.
324
00:15:59,891 --> 00:16:01,354
She has got to go.
325
00:16:01,389 --> 00:16:04,192
Dad, will you quit being
such a perfectionist?
326
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:12,324
Alex, Alex...
327
00:16:12,359 --> 00:16:13,926
Alex, look around you.
328
00:16:16,861 --> 00:16:18,561
I'm afraid to, Dad.
329
00:16:19,926 --> 00:16:23,895
Alex, this woman cannot do
one thing we need her to do.
330
00:16:23,930 --> 00:16:25,326
Okay, well, Dad,
let's keep thinking
331
00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:27,326
until we think
of something that she can do.
332
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:28,358
Wha...?
333
00:16:28,393 --> 00:16:29,563
We have to fire her, Alex,
334
00:16:29,598 --> 00:16:31,095
for our own safety.
335
00:16:31,130 --> 00:16:32,062
Look...
336
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:33,861
look.
337
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,930
If this had been
a Pop-Tart,
338
00:16:40,662 --> 00:16:42,362
we'd be dead now.
339
00:16:43,931 --> 00:16:45,696
Dad...
340
00:16:45,731 --> 00:16:48,729
Dad, look, think of
Mallory and Jennifer.
341
00:16:48,764 --> 00:16:50,097
They... They love Karen.
342
00:16:50,132 --> 00:16:53,165
Th-this is gonna be very
upsetting to them,
343
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,597
not to mention
my fantasy life.
344
00:16:59,699 --> 00:17:02,030
We had a fabulous day.
345
00:17:02,065 --> 00:17:05,434
Yeah, I've never seen so many
fat, naked women in my life.
346
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:08,433
Where did you go, the Y?
347
00:17:09,766 --> 00:17:11,701
We saw the Rubens Exhibit
at the Art Institute.
348
00:17:11,736 --> 00:17:13,400
It was great.
349
00:17:13,435 --> 00:17:16,266
Yeah, Karen took us out
for ice cream afterwards.
350
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:17,631
We had so much
junk food today,
351
00:17:17,666 --> 00:17:20,401
we could go without eating
for a week.
352
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,400
Good planning, Karen.
353
00:17:23,435 --> 00:17:25,102
Thank you.
354
00:17:25,137 --> 00:17:26,735
Karen, uh,
355
00:17:26,770 --> 00:17:28,935
I'm glad you had
a nice time with the girls.
356
00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:30,134
Oh, it was fantastic.
357
00:17:30,169 --> 00:17:31,265
But, uh...
358
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,070
Well, you've got
some responsibilities
359
00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:34,668
in the house too.
360
00:17:34,703 --> 00:17:36,804
I know, that's what
I love about this job.
361
00:17:36,839 --> 00:17:39,670
See, I can be indoors
or outdoors.
362
00:17:39,705 --> 00:17:41,472
Well, excuse me,
I'm gonna go tell Mrs. Keaton
363
00:17:41,507 --> 00:17:43,137
about all the fun
we had today.
364
00:17:45,437 --> 00:17:47,872
You make every day fun,
Karen.
365
00:17:50,039 --> 00:17:51,471
Alex.
366
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,771
I know, Dad.
She's got to go.
367
00:17:56,806 --> 00:18:00,173
I just wanted to get
one last compliment in.
368
00:18:00,208 --> 00:18:03,540
W- w-we have to fire her.
We have no choice.
369
00:18:03,575 --> 00:18:05,471
All right, Dad, okay,
370
00:18:05,506 --> 00:18:07,675
but let's do it as
humanely as possible, okay?
371
00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:09,208
All right.
I've got an idea.
372
00:18:09,243 --> 00:18:10,606
Look,
373
00:18:10,641 --> 00:18:12,991
let's have the two of us
take her out to dinner.
374
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,342
Probably the only way
we'll get something to eat.
375
00:18:16,909 --> 00:18:19,009
You know, we'll... We'll...
We'll show her a good time,
376
00:18:19,044 --> 00:18:21,442
uh, and, uh, kinda
squeeze the firing in
377
00:18:21,477 --> 00:18:25,076
between, "pass the salt"
and "check, please. "
378
00:18:25,111 --> 00:18:27,109
Pass the salt,
please, Alex.
379
00:18:27,144 --> 00:18:28,912
So soon, Dad?
380
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:34,208
Karen, um, I'd like to talk
to you about your work.
381
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,646
Oh, you know, I'm enjoying
myself so much at my new job,
382
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:38,411
it doesn't even seem
like work to me.
383
00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:43,346
It doesn't seem like work
to us, either.
384
00:18:43,381 --> 00:18:45,244
Good evening.
385
00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:47,680
Oh, hey.
It's the Keatons.
386
00:18:47,715 --> 00:18:50,081
Dad, it's him.
It's the...
387
00:18:50,116 --> 00:18:51,312
Convict, huh?
388
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,581
Is that what you
were gonna say?
389
00:18:53,616 --> 00:18:55,815
No. I was gonna say,
"Dad, it's him,
390
00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:56,981
the nanny. "
391
00:18:59,381 --> 00:19:00,512
You know each other?
392
00:19:00,547 --> 00:19:02,348
Yeah, I applied
for a job
393
00:19:02,383 --> 00:19:04,749
as their housekeeper,
but they turned me down.
394
00:19:04,784 --> 00:19:06,046
Oh, really?
395
00:19:06,081 --> 00:19:09,112
I feel so guilty.
They hired me.
396
00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:11,551
I wonder why they
took you instead of me.
397
00:19:13,650 --> 00:19:15,583
What did you wear
to the interview?
398
00:19:16,852 --> 00:19:19,019
I wore my blue dress
with black heels.
399
00:19:19,054 --> 00:19:20,416
Heels!
400
00:19:24,385 --> 00:19:25,752
I knew it, I knew it.
401
00:19:27,351 --> 00:19:29,918
I guess you got a lot
of experience as a housekeeper.
402
00:19:29,953 --> 00:19:31,985
No. I've had no experience.
403
00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:34,852
Well, we all know what
Sartre says about experience.
404
00:19:40,453 --> 00:19:43,152
Karen, uh, we need to talk.
405
00:19:43,187 --> 00:19:44,453
I know. We do.
406
00:19:44,488 --> 00:19:46,286
You're a very nice person.
407
00:19:46,321 --> 00:19:48,719
Nice? Come on, Dad.
You're more than nice.
408
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,051
Excuse me, I have
to interrupt you.
409
00:19:50,086 --> 00:19:52,121
I'm really starting
to feel guilty, here.
410
00:19:52,156 --> 00:19:53,253
What do you mean?
411
00:19:53,288 --> 00:19:54,621
Well, you take me
out to dinner
412
00:19:54,656 --> 00:19:57,055
at a wonderful
medium-priced restaurant.
413
00:19:58,958 --> 00:20:00,522
You treat me
like one of your family
414
00:20:00,557 --> 00:20:02,622
and now you're saying
all these nice things about me,
415
00:20:02,657 --> 00:20:05,025
but I've let you down.
416
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:06,456
You have?
417
00:20:06,491 --> 00:20:09,857
I know I've probably
kept it hidden from you,
418
00:20:09,892 --> 00:20:12,926
but I'm not
a good housekeeper.
419
00:20:14,392 --> 00:20:16,388
Really?
420
00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:18,156
It's been bothering me
ever since I started.
421
00:20:18,191 --> 00:20:20,090
I never should have
taken this job.
422
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:22,492
I came into your house
and ruined everything.
423
00:20:22,527 --> 00:20:23,524
Well, not everything.
424
00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:24,923
Look, let's face it, okay?
425
00:20:24,958 --> 00:20:26,594
I'm a failure.
I'm not good at anything,
426
00:20:26,629 --> 00:20:27,759
and I never will be.
427
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:30,457
Karen, stop putting
yourself down like this.
428
00:20:30,492 --> 00:20:33,476
This isn't the first job
that hasn't worked out for me.
429
00:20:33,511 --> 00:20:36,460
Don't feel bad. I... I'll just
move on to something else.
430
00:20:36,495 --> 00:20:39,796
Oh, no, no, no, no,
Karen, please stay.
431
00:20:47,263 --> 00:20:48,494
It's been wonderful,
432
00:20:48,529 --> 00:20:50,296
but I can't do this
any longer.
433
00:20:50,331 --> 00:20:51,729
Karen...
434
00:20:53,865 --> 00:20:56,564
Boy, having a housekeeper
is hard work.
435
00:20:57,629 --> 00:20:59,197
I know, but it's worth it
436
00:20:59,232 --> 00:21:00,765
to keep Karen
around though.
437
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,163
Hi.
438
00:21:02,198 --> 00:21:03,647
Uh, hi.
439
00:21:03,682 --> 00:21:05,062
Hi.
440
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,881
Uh, where's Karen?
441
00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:08,666
Uh, girls, sit down.
442
00:21:09,899 --> 00:21:13,529
Uh, look, um, Karen, uh...
443
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,433
Karen won't be working
for us anymore.
444
00:21:15,468 --> 00:21:17,033
You fired her?
445
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:20,197
No.
446
00:21:20,232 --> 00:21:22,768
Certainly not.
447
00:21:22,803 --> 00:21:24,066
Pfft.
448
00:21:24,101 --> 00:21:26,399
They think that
we would fire Karen.
449
00:21:28,336 --> 00:21:31,001
We... We tried to fire her.
450
00:21:31,036 --> 00:21:33,634
She quit before
we got around to it.
451
00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:34,900
And you let her quit?
452
00:21:34,935 --> 00:21:37,285
She knew that she
wasn't doing a good job.
453
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,635
So, what does that have
to do with anything?
454
00:21:39,670 --> 00:21:41,332
She was my friend.
455
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:42,737
She was all
of our friends.
456
00:21:42,772 --> 00:21:45,168
I know, I know,
457
00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:46,703
but we set out
to find a housekeeper,
458
00:21:46,738 --> 00:21:48,035
not a friend.
459
00:21:48,070 --> 00:21:50,572
Well, I'm really gonna
miss seeing her.
460
00:21:52,005 --> 00:21:53,703
That goes triple for me.
461
00:21:57,072 --> 00:22:00,737
Everything in this kitchen
reminds me of her.
462
00:22:00,772 --> 00:22:02,539
Yeah. This is the stove,
463
00:22:02,574 --> 00:22:04,307
she didn't know how to use.
464
00:22:06,472 --> 00:22:09,871
And the sink where she used
to always break our dishes.
465
00:22:11,173 --> 00:22:13,907
And the toaster
where she started a fire.
466
00:22:15,574 --> 00:22:17,043
I think I'm gonna cry.
467
00:22:18,676 --> 00:22:21,207
Well, it's gonna be tough
breaking this to your mom.
468
00:22:21,242 --> 00:22:22,707
She was in the middle
of teaching Karen
469
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,276
how to roll socks.
470
00:22:29,241 --> 00:22:32,609
Well, look who's here.
471
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:34,809
Good to see you, Karen.
472
00:22:34,844 --> 00:22:36,574
Uh, Mr. Keaton,
473
00:22:36,609 --> 00:22:39,845
I've been doing
a lot of thinking.
474
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,176
Alex.
475
00:22:42,710 --> 00:22:44,642
Mr. Keaton,
476
00:22:44,677 --> 00:22:47,745
I've been doing
a lot of thinking, and...
477
00:22:47,780 --> 00:22:49,110
Well, see,
I've spent my whole life
478
00:22:49,145 --> 00:22:50,442
running away from things,
479
00:22:50,477 --> 00:22:53,012
and I've decided it's time
for me to stop running.
480
00:22:53,047 --> 00:22:55,412
I really want to make
a success of this job,
481
00:22:55,447 --> 00:22:56,577
and you want me to stay,
482
00:22:56,612 --> 00:23:00,015
so I think it would
be wrong for me to leave.
483
00:23:00,050 --> 00:23:03,379
Nothing could be wronger,
right, Dad?
484
00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:06,582
Let's give it another try.
485
00:23:06,617 --> 00:23:08,313
Yay!
Hey, Karen.
486
00:23:08,348 --> 00:23:10,145
Oh, thanks, Mr. Keaton.
487
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:12,147
I want you to know
I'm really gonna try to improve.
488
00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:14,414
I know I wasn't
doing a good job before,
489
00:23:14,449 --> 00:23:16,414
but that's gonna change.
You'll be surprised.
490
00:23:16,449 --> 00:23:18,380
Great. Well,
you can start again tomorrow.
491
00:23:18,415 --> 00:23:19,633
No, no. I wanna start
right now.
492
00:23:19,668 --> 00:23:20,816
I know I ruined
your dinner,
493
00:23:20,851 --> 00:23:22,950
so I'd like to make you all
something to eat.
494
00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:24,216
No!
495
00:23:25,216 --> 00:23:35,216
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