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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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## I'll bet
We've been together ##
3
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## For a million years ##
4
00:00:17,465 --> 00:00:19,965
## And I'll bet
We'll be together ##
5
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,998
## For a million more ##
6
00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:25,867
## Ooh, it's like
I started breathin' ##
7
00:00:25,902 --> 00:00:28,832
## On the night we kissed ##
8
00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:34,366
## And I can't remember
What I ever did before ##
9
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:37,167
## What would we do, baby ##
10
00:00:37,202 --> 00:00:38,701
## Without us? ##
11
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## What would we do, baby ##
12
00:00:42,636 --> 00:00:45,232
## Without us? ##
13
00:00:45,267 --> 00:00:47,899
## And there ain't
No nothin' ##
14
00:00:47,934 --> 00:00:49,934
## We can't love
Each other through ##
15
00:00:49,969 --> 00:00:51,199
## Ooh-hoo ##
16
00:00:51,234 --> 00:00:54,101
## What would we do, baby ##
17
00:00:54,136 --> 00:00:57,219
## Without us? ##
18
00:00:57,254 --> 00:01:00,302
## Sha-la-la-la ##
19
00:01:04,135 --> 00:01:05,734
This is ridiculous.
20
00:01:05,769 --> 00:01:07,969
Where do they come
up with this stuff?
21
00:01:08,004 --> 00:01:09,801
What's the matter, Alex?
22
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:13,102
All freshmen are required
to take a Humanities course.
23
00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:14,868
What's so bad about that?
24
00:01:14,903 --> 00:01:16,635
Well, the...
The choices are absurd.
25
00:01:16,670 --> 00:01:19,386
I mean, listen to this one.
Humanities 1:
26
00:01:19,421 --> 00:01:21,962
Man, Society, Civilization,
the Universe.
27
00:01:21,997 --> 00:01:24,504
How am I supposed
to relate to this stuff?
28
00:01:24,539 --> 00:01:26,736
Just don't talk in class
29
00:01:26,771 --> 00:01:29,369
and they'll think
you're one of them.
30
00:01:29,404 --> 00:01:33,404
Jennifer, I'm in college to
learn about money, not people.
31
00:01:33,439 --> 00:01:36,135
Alex, there's more to life
than getting rich.
32
00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:40,605
Jennifer, people who have money
don't need people.
33
00:01:43,138 --> 00:01:44,371
Oh, hey, hey.
34
00:01:44,406 --> 00:01:45,570
Hey, Mallory, uh,
35
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,971
could you possibly
turn that up a little?
36
00:01:48,006 --> 00:01:50,338
I can still hear
planes passing overhead.
37
00:01:50,373 --> 00:01:51,605
Sure.
38
00:01:53,505 --> 00:01:54,838
Hey, Mallory, look,
39
00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:56,471
help me out, will you?
40
00:01:56,506 --> 00:01:59,272
Hey. I'm trying to go over
my college courses here.
41
00:01:59,307 --> 00:02:00,738
You know, college?
44
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:14,639
Hey!
45
00:02:14,674 --> 00:02:16,774
Alex!
Alex!
46
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:20,639
That's the best
that's ever sounded.
47
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,374
You've ruined my...
You're gonna pay for that.
48
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:26,074
Ah, another day begins
here at Happy Acres.
49
00:02:27,775 --> 00:02:30,974
Ah, ah, ah. I haven't
even had my breakfast yet.
50
00:02:31,009 --> 00:02:33,074
I don't wanna know.
51
00:02:38,341 --> 00:02:39,641
I'm beginning
to get curious.
52
00:02:39,676 --> 00:02:40,708
He put...
53
00:02:42,409 --> 00:02:44,540
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
54
00:02:44,575 --> 00:02:45,707
All right.
Okay, Dad.
55
00:02:45,742 --> 00:02:47,842
Mallory's music
was driving me crazy,
56
00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:49,274
and I overreacted.
57
00:02:49,309 --> 00:02:51,542
I'm a little tense
this morning.
58
00:02:51,577 --> 00:02:53,340
Alex is just
in a bad mood
59
00:02:53,375 --> 00:02:56,242
'cause they want him
to be a human at college.
60
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,860
Jennifer, they don't
want me to be a human.
61
00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:01,443
They want me to take
a Humanities course.
62
00:03:01,478 --> 00:03:03,108
Well, that doesn't
sound so bad.
63
00:03:03,143 --> 00:03:05,643
I don't know. Dad, maybe you
can help me out with this.
64
00:03:05,678 --> 00:03:08,143
You, uh, have a commitment
to social change,
65
00:03:08,178 --> 00:03:10,608
a love
for the humanities.
66
00:03:10,643 --> 00:03:13,110
Oh, look. Some of these courses
look pretty interesting, Alex.
67
00:03:13,145 --> 00:03:14,109
Uh, why not sign up
68
00:03:14,144 --> 00:03:15,844
for Introduction
to Abnormal Behavior?
69
00:03:15,879 --> 00:03:18,845
You could skip
the introduction.
70
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,811
Hey, what about
Psychology 3:
71
00:03:21,846 --> 00:03:23,509
I'm Okay, You're Okay?
72
00:03:23,544 --> 00:03:27,042
First of all,
you're not okay.
73
00:03:27,077 --> 00:03:29,211
And second of all,
this is not a college course,
74
00:03:29,246 --> 00:03:31,710
it's a Phil Donahue show.
75
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,111
Well, okay. Look, how about, uh,
Sociology of the Family,
76
00:03:34,146 --> 00:03:35,844
or, uh, the Hotline?
77
00:03:35,879 --> 00:03:37,562
Hey, look:
Marriage and the Family.
78
00:03:37,597 --> 00:03:39,210
Wait. No, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
79
00:03:39,245 --> 00:03:41,678
Dad, uh, Hotline. What...?
What's that, Hotline?
80
00:03:41,713 --> 00:03:44,111
Uh, "The Hotline,
a phone-in counseling center
81
00:03:44,146 --> 00:03:45,645
"where students
earn credits
82
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,813
"by handling callers'
problems two nights a week.
83
00:03:48,848 --> 00:03:50,797
Satisfies Humanities
requirement. "
84
00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:52,711
Yeah. You know,
this could be perfect.
85
00:03:52,746 --> 00:03:55,911
I can, uh... I can go
to this Hotline twice a week.
86
00:03:55,946 --> 00:03:58,979
I can bring along my books,
catch up on my real courses.
87
00:03:59,014 --> 00:04:01,213
Stuff that has nothing
to do with people.
88
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:08,879
Watch it, will ya?
89
00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:12,213
Sorry. Next time
I'll signal before I turn.
90
00:04:12,248 --> 00:04:14,231
Jarrett?
Is that you, Jarrett?
91
00:04:14,266 --> 00:04:16,157
Keaton.
What are you doing here?
92
00:04:16,192 --> 00:04:18,048
I go to school here.
What about you?
93
00:04:19,648 --> 00:04:21,081
I go to school here too.
94
00:04:21,116 --> 00:04:22,480
Hey, how did you get in?
95
00:04:22,515 --> 00:04:25,548
I thought they
restricted the dull.
96
00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:27,548
Obviously not.
97
00:04:30,915 --> 00:04:33,215
So, uh, what are you
doing in this place?
98
00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:35,299
I mean, a hotline center's
the last place
99
00:04:35,334 --> 00:04:37,349
I'd figure I'd run into
somebody like you.
100
00:04:37,384 --> 00:04:38,848
Yeah, well, I'm, uh...
101
00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:41,449
I'm here, uh, because I wanna
help, uh, what do you call it?
102
00:04:41,484 --> 00:04:42,980
People.
103
00:04:43,015 --> 00:04:45,332
You're more sensitive
than I thought.
104
00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:47,691
Hey, Jarrett,
did I mention the fact
105
00:04:47,726 --> 00:04:50,705
that I won
the McKinley Scholarship?
106
00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:53,495
Oh, that's not bad.
I won the Steadman.
107
00:04:53,530 --> 00:04:56,215
I could've won
the Steadman if I applied.
108
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:59,350
I just, uh, figured the McKinley
was a little more prestigious.
109
00:05:02,183 --> 00:05:04,151
Old grudges die hard,
don't they, Keaton?
110
00:05:04,186 --> 00:05:05,968
What are you
talking about, Jarrett?
111
00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:07,716
You still can't get over
my beating you
112
00:05:07,751 --> 00:05:10,851
in the regional spelling bee
in the third grade.
113
00:05:10,886 --> 00:05:12,716
Hey.
Hey, you didn't beat me.
114
00:05:12,751 --> 00:05:16,151
I simply refused
to spell "Democrat. "
115
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:20,217
Who's next?
116
00:05:20,252 --> 00:05:21,817
BOTH
I am!
117
00:05:21,852 --> 00:05:23,619
Well, it's nice to see
you're both so anxious.
118
00:05:23,654 --> 00:05:25,319
We like people with enthusiasm.
119
00:05:26,352 --> 00:05:27,452
Let's sit down.
120
00:05:29,319 --> 00:05:30,651
I'm Janice Worthy.
121
00:05:30,686 --> 00:05:33,719
I'm James Jarrett,
regional spelling bee champion.
122
00:05:35,286 --> 00:05:38,386
This is Alex Keaton,
came in second.
123
00:05:40,053 --> 00:05:42,685
Ah. Alex, I see
you're an Economics major.
124
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,720
Most of the counselors here
are Psychology majors.
125
00:05:44,755 --> 00:05:45,918
I'm a Psychology major.
126
00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:48,720
I'll get to you
in just a second, James.
127
00:05:48,755 --> 00:05:50,084
Uh, so tell me, Alex,
128
00:05:50,119 --> 00:05:52,521
do you know many emotionally
disturbed people?
129
00:05:52,556 --> 00:05:55,054
Uh... just family.
130
00:05:58,854 --> 00:06:01,688
James, this résumé
is quite impressive:
131
00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:03,085
worked with
abused children,
132
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,220
volunteered
at senior citizens' home,
133
00:06:05,255 --> 00:06:06,654
volunteer
playground director...
134
00:06:06,689 --> 00:06:09,255
What'd you do in your
spare time, train guide dogs?
135
00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:10,722
...worked with guide dogs.
136
00:06:13,422 --> 00:06:15,388
Very admirable, James.
137
00:06:15,423 --> 00:06:17,320
Yeah. He's a saint.
138
00:06:17,355 --> 00:06:19,587
Let me explain
how we work around here.
139
00:06:19,622 --> 00:06:23,156
The Hotline is a 24-hour service
for Leland students
140
00:06:23,191 --> 00:06:24,521
with personal
problems.
141
00:06:24,556 --> 00:06:28,239
Uh, yeah. It's a... It's a
terrific community service.
142
00:06:28,274 --> 00:06:31,923
And it also satisfies the
Humanities requirement, right?
143
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:32,888
That's right.
144
00:06:32,923 --> 00:06:35,021
Great. I'm ready.
When do I start?
145
00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:37,423
Your training program
will start tomorrow.
146
00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:39,791
As you become more
comfortable with the job,
147
00:06:39,826 --> 00:06:41,589
we'll give you more
responsibilities.
148
00:06:41,624 --> 00:06:43,791
You won't actually
be on the phone unsupervised
149
00:06:43,826 --> 00:06:44,724
for several weeks.
150
00:06:45,657 --> 00:06:48,174
But we'll still get credit?
151
00:06:48,209 --> 00:06:50,416
Yes, Alex.
You'll get credit.
152
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,471
Oh, there's one more thing.
153
00:06:52,506 --> 00:06:54,456
Trainees work in pairs.
154
00:06:54,491 --> 00:06:56,291
You two will work as a team.
155
00:06:58,391 --> 00:06:59,590
Us?
156
00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:01,892
Yes. Any objections?
157
00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:05,590
No.
No.
158
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:08,224
BOTH I should be able to pull him through.
159
00:07:09,626 --> 00:07:12,126
Okay, Jennifer.
Ask me another question.
160
00:07:12,161 --> 00:07:14,626
What do you say
to someone who calls
161
00:07:14,661 --> 00:07:17,326
with severe
personal problems?
162
00:07:17,361 --> 00:07:19,957
I told you
never to call me here.
163
00:07:19,992 --> 00:07:21,959
No. It says,
"Speak in a soothing voice,
164
00:07:21,994 --> 00:07:23,926
and try to keep
the caller on the line. "
165
00:07:23,961 --> 00:07:25,427
I was so close.
166
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:29,794
Why don't you try
a few, uh, practice calls, Alex.
167
00:07:29,829 --> 00:07:31,293
You know, to help you
get the feel of it?
168
00:07:31,328 --> 00:07:32,725
That's a good idea, Dad.
169
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,760
Uh, Mallory, you've logged
more phone hours
170
00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:37,260
than anyone else
in the family.
171
00:07:37,295 --> 00:07:39,458
Anyone else in the world.
172
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,361
Why don't you, uh,
give me a practice ring?
173
00:07:41,396 --> 00:07:42,361
Oh, okay.
174
00:07:48,661 --> 00:07:49,861
It's ringing.
175
00:07:54,461 --> 00:07:56,093
Hello, Hotline.
176
00:07:56,128 --> 00:07:57,929
Why are you bugging me?
177
00:08:00,762 --> 00:08:02,027
I got a problem.
178
00:08:02,062 --> 00:08:03,362
Let me guess.
It's a boy.
179
00:08:03,397 --> 00:08:05,594
Right.
Let me guess.
180
00:08:05,629 --> 00:08:08,179
Uh, you like him,
he doesn't like you.
181
00:08:08,214 --> 00:08:10,729
No. I don't like him,
he doesn't like me.
182
00:08:10,764 --> 00:08:13,063
Then what's the problem?
183
00:08:13,098 --> 00:08:15,363
He's my brother.
184
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:19,263
Sorry, your time is up.
185
00:08:21,797 --> 00:08:23,363
Whoa, that's James.
I gotta go.
186
00:08:23,398 --> 00:08:24,895
Wait a minute, Alex.
187
00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:26,697
It says that you shouldn't use
your real name,
188
00:08:26,732 --> 00:08:27,731
you should have a code name.
189
00:08:27,766 --> 00:08:29,462
Ah, good point.
190
00:08:29,497 --> 00:08:31,464
I wouldn't want any
of these crazed losers
191
00:08:31,499 --> 00:08:33,731
calling me at home.
192
00:08:35,397 --> 00:08:38,296
Thank you, Mother Teresa.
193
00:08:38,331 --> 00:08:41,864
Okay, well, it says here
to pick a name that's positive,
194
00:08:41,899 --> 00:08:43,563
something like Faith,
Hope, or Charity,
195
00:08:43,598 --> 00:08:46,632
but something that accurately
reflects your personality.
196
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,732
How about Greed?
197
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:53,398
Nah. It's probably taken.
198
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:56,465
Ah, hi, Mrs. Worthy.
Hi.
199
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:57,749
Sorry we're late.
200
00:08:57,784 --> 00:08:59,208
It was James' fault.
201
00:08:59,243 --> 00:09:00,598
Oh, thanks,
teammate.
202
00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:02,800
Anyway, we're here, ready to go.
Where is everybody?
203
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,267
We're really
understaffed tonight.
204
00:09:04,302 --> 00:09:05,700
Allison and Peter
have the flu,
205
00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:06,931
Robert has a midterm
206
00:09:06,966 --> 00:09:08,900
and I was supposed
to be out of here an hour ago.
207
00:09:08,935 --> 00:09:11,164
Oh, gee, uh, that's...
That's too bad.
208
00:09:11,199 --> 00:09:14,199
I guess that means you're gonna
have to close down tonight, huh?
209
00:09:14,234 --> 00:09:17,534
We'll still get credit
for showing up though, right?
210
00:09:17,569 --> 00:09:19,232
We're not gonna have to close.
211
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,367
Tim will be here any minute
for your training session.
212
00:09:21,402 --> 00:09:23,084
Oh, great.
Tim's good.
213
00:09:23,119 --> 00:09:25,410
Yeah, great.
I love Tim.
214
00:09:25,445 --> 00:09:27,666
He makes us work hard.
215
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,200
All right, boys,
see you tomorrow.
216
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,966
Good night.
217
00:09:32,001 --> 00:09:34,051
Well, I don't know
about you,
218
00:09:34,086 --> 00:09:36,066
but I'm gonna get
some work done.
219
00:09:36,101 --> 00:09:38,702
Listen, Alex, I'm gonna
run up to the snack bar.
220
00:09:38,737 --> 00:09:39,802
Can I get you anything?
221
00:09:39,837 --> 00:09:41,033
No. I'm fine.
222
00:09:41,068 --> 00:09:42,584
Hey, all right, man.
I was buying.
223
00:09:42,619 --> 00:09:44,101
Bring me back
one of everything.
224
00:09:46,402 --> 00:09:48,569
Okay. Ahhh.
225
00:09:51,569 --> 00:09:53,135
All right.
226
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,368
Yeah. Uh, Hotline.
227
00:10:06,403 --> 00:10:08,286
MAN
Hi, Alex. It's me. Tim.
228
00:10:08,321 --> 00:10:10,135
Yeah. Hi, Tim.
How you doing?
229
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:12,003
Why didn't you use
your code name?
230
00:10:12,038 --> 00:10:13,968
Uh, sorry. I forgot.
231
00:10:14,003 --> 00:10:15,503
Don't let it happen again.
232
00:10:15,538 --> 00:10:16,968
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
233
00:10:17,003 --> 00:10:19,504
Uh, Tim, is that
the only reason you called?
234
00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:21,503
No. My car broke down.
235
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,805
It'll be at least
an hour before they fix it.
236
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,269
Just close up and go home.
237
00:10:25,304 --> 00:10:26,738
We'll make up
the session tomorrow.
238
00:10:26,773 --> 00:10:27,836
Okay, great.
239
00:10:27,871 --> 00:10:30,036
Uh, oh, Tim,
uh, one more thing...
240
00:10:30,071 --> 00:10:33,806
Yes, Alex. You'll
get credit for showing up.
241
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:35,272
Okay. Bye-bye.
242
00:10:52,373 --> 00:10:54,606
Yeah, Gandhi speaking.
243
00:10:58,106 --> 00:10:59,806
MAN
Gandhi?
244
00:10:59,841 --> 00:11:01,471
Yeah, Gandhi.
245
00:11:01,506 --> 00:11:05,007
Oh, I must have the wrong
number. I-I wanted the Hotline.
246
00:11:05,042 --> 00:11:06,724
No, no, no, no.
Don't hang up.
247
00:11:06,759 --> 00:11:08,372
Hold on.
This is the Hotline.
248
00:11:08,407 --> 00:11:12,274
I just, uh,
call myself Gandhi because,
249
00:11:12,309 --> 00:11:13,972
uh, it's a code name.
250
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,690
All right?
Uh, what's your problem?
251
00:11:16,725 --> 00:11:19,374
Well, uh, my...
My name is Bill.
252
00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:21,508
Uh, just plain Bill.
253
00:11:21,543 --> 00:11:22,507
And, uh, I...
254
00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:24,840
Come on, come on.
255
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:26,008
I need some help here.
256
00:11:26,043 --> 00:11:28,140
I... I think...
257
00:11:28,175 --> 00:11:30,275
I think I'm gonna kill myself.
258
00:11:34,008 --> 00:11:36,609
James, it's for you!
259
00:11:41,042 --> 00:11:42,107
Coca-Cola!
260
00:11:42,142 --> 00:11:45,526
James, you're back.
Thank God!
261
00:11:45,561 --> 00:11:48,910
You must have been
very thirsty.
262
00:11:48,945 --> 00:11:50,875
A guy called
263
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,876
who wants to kill himself.
264
00:11:52,911 --> 00:11:55,777
Okay, okay, take it easy.
What did you tell him?
265
00:11:56,777 --> 00:11:58,977
I put him on hold.
266
00:11:59,012 --> 00:12:01,444
You what?!
267
00:12:04,177 --> 00:12:07,277
Hello. Thank you
for calling the Hotline.
268
00:12:12,178 --> 00:12:13,976
Are you there?
269
00:12:14,011 --> 00:12:15,545
Yeah, I'm here. Who are you?
270
00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:18,211
This is Gidget.
271
00:12:20,411 --> 00:12:21,661
Gidget?
272
00:12:21,696 --> 00:12:22,877
Yeah.
273
00:12:22,912 --> 00:12:25,445
That doesn't exactly
inspire confidence.
274
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,979
Where's the other guy?
Where's Gandhi?
275
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,346
Uh...
276
00:12:31,979 --> 00:12:33,344
I'm here too, Bill.
277
00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:36,179
We're both here,
Gidget and... Gandhi.
278
00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:39,296
All right,
let's try to be calm.
279
00:12:39,331 --> 00:12:40,880
Let's just
try to be rational.
280
00:12:40,915 --> 00:12:43,712
Um... what's the problem?
281
00:12:43,747 --> 00:12:46,013
Well, I've been doing
a lot of thinking
282
00:12:46,048 --> 00:12:47,513
about my life, you know?
283
00:12:47,548 --> 00:12:50,213
How's it going?
284
00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:54,011
I've been better.
285
00:12:54,046 --> 00:12:56,346
You know,
I- I-I spent all last week
286
00:12:56,381 --> 00:12:58,715
trying to come up with just
one good reason to live,
287
00:12:58,750 --> 00:12:59,979
and I couldn't do it.
288
00:13:00,014 --> 00:13:02,247
All right. Okay.
Ah, well, let's...
289
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,012
Let's just, uh...
290
00:13:04,047 --> 00:13:06,514
Let's think of the things
that make us happy.
291
00:13:06,549 --> 00:13:08,413
Okay? Uh, uh, books.
292
00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:11,782
Uh, uh, plays.
Uh, music.
293
00:13:11,817 --> 00:13:13,347
Uh, movies. Movies.
294
00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:16,082
There's... There's
a great James Bond festival
295
00:13:16,117 --> 00:13:17,283
over at the North Town.
296
00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:18,449
Oh, yeah?
What's playing?
297
00:13:18,484 --> 00:13:21,415
Uh, Live and Let Die.
298
00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:29,081
Nice going, Alex.
299
00:13:29,116 --> 00:13:30,550
Hey, you think
you could do better?
300
00:13:30,585 --> 00:13:32,181
Yeah, I do. Let me talk.
301
00:13:32,216 --> 00:13:34,083
Hey, no, wait a minute.
I... I answered the phone.
302
00:13:34,118 --> 00:13:35,600
Guys, what's going on?
I'll talk!
303
00:13:35,635 --> 00:13:37,083
Give me that.
No, no. Hey, Jarrett!
304
00:13:37,118 --> 00:13:39,717
Hey...!
305
00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:47,484
Well, it's been 15 minutes.
306
00:13:47,519 --> 00:13:49,582
He hasn't called.
307
00:13:49,617 --> 00:13:51,150
What could he be doing?
308
00:13:51,185 --> 00:13:53,115
Don't answer that.
309
00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:55,482
All right, let's just
review the conversation,
310
00:13:55,517 --> 00:13:57,685
and we'll try and we'll
figure out out what went wrong.
311
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,602
Right. Okay.
312
00:14:00,637 --> 00:14:03,450
Uh, he called.
313
00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:05,852
He said he wanted
to kill himself.
314
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,085
I put him on hold.
315
00:14:10,218 --> 00:14:13,953
We suggested he go
to a James Bond movie,
316
00:14:13,988 --> 00:14:16,519
and then we hung up on him.
317
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,151
Uh, yeah. Hotline.
318
00:14:27,186 --> 00:14:28,819
Is that how you help?
319
00:14:28,854 --> 00:14:32,454
A guy says he's gonna kill
himselfand you hang up on him?
320
00:14:32,489 --> 00:14:34,919
Bill. Bill,
you're back.
321
00:14:34,954 --> 00:14:36,987
Bill, we're sorry.
It was an accident.
322
00:14:37,022 --> 00:14:38,787
Now,
are you feeling any better?
323
00:14:38,822 --> 00:14:42,218
No. Worse.
324
00:14:42,253 --> 00:14:43,804
Alex, use the manual.
325
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,320
Manual.
Uh, yeah.
326
00:14:45,355 --> 00:14:48,688
Uh... Uh, you know, Bill...
327
00:14:48,723 --> 00:14:51,219
Uh, now, this is, uh,
328
00:14:51,254 --> 00:14:53,721
just off the top
of my head,
329
00:14:53,756 --> 00:14:56,153
but I was thinking, um...
330
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:58,922
"Life can be
a wonderful and splendid...
331
00:14:58,957 --> 00:15:01,321
...uh, thing. "
332
00:15:01,356 --> 00:15:04,255
Hey, are you reading this
out of a book?
333
00:15:04,290 --> 00:15:06,821
No.
334
00:15:06,856 --> 00:15:09,856
No. No.
Uh, don't be silly, Bill.
335
00:15:09,891 --> 00:15:11,721
I'm just winging this.
336
00:15:11,756 --> 00:15:15,154
Uh...
"Let's reflect for a moment
337
00:15:15,189 --> 00:15:18,323
"on all the positive aspects
in one's life.
338
00:15:18,358 --> 00:15:20,223
"We can do that, can't we?
339
00:15:20,258 --> 00:15:22,055
Insert name. "
340
00:15:22,090 --> 00:15:25,857
You...! You are
reading this out of a book!
341
00:15:27,256 --> 00:15:29,622
I'm a person,
not a hypothetical case!
342
00:15:29,657 --> 00:15:31,958
If you keep reading that book,
I'm hanging up.
343
00:15:31,993 --> 00:15:34,890
Look, Bill,
give me a break, okay?
344
00:15:34,925 --> 00:15:37,057
I'm new at this.
I don't know what to say.
345
00:15:37,092 --> 00:15:38,356
Yeah, well,
I'm new at this too,
346
00:15:38,391 --> 00:15:40,458
but you don't see me
reading out of a book.
347
00:15:45,558 --> 00:15:47,791
Listen, uh, Bill,
348
00:15:47,826 --> 00:15:49,892
uh, can you hold for a second?
349
00:15:49,927 --> 00:15:52,324
Oh, great.
350
00:15:52,359 --> 00:15:55,624
No. No, I promise you
I won't hang up.
351
00:15:55,659 --> 00:15:58,258
Okay, but hurry up.
I don't have all night.
352
00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:03,692
What are we gonna do?
353
00:16:03,727 --> 00:16:05,960
He, uh...
He won't let us use the manual.
354
00:16:07,293 --> 00:16:08,626
Well...
355
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,259
Well, we'll just
have to be ourselves.
356
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,692
And, uh,
then, Bill... Ahem.
357
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:24,326
...in, uh, 1978,
I entered junior high school.
358
00:16:24,361 --> 00:16:28,294
I had to take a school bus
for the very first time.
359
00:16:28,329 --> 00:16:31,260
Of course,
it didn't faze me.
360
00:16:31,295 --> 00:16:32,592
Uh, Bill?
361
00:16:32,627 --> 00:16:34,877
Uh, you still there?
362
00:16:34,912 --> 00:16:37,093
Yeah, I'm still here.
363
00:16:37,128 --> 00:16:39,428
I'm bored,
but I'm still here.
364
00:16:43,328 --> 00:16:45,660
Me too.
365
00:16:45,695 --> 00:16:47,578
Guys, I appreciate
what you're doing,
366
00:16:47,613 --> 00:16:49,462
but, you know,
you're wasting your time.
367
00:16:49,497 --> 00:16:50,663
Nobody cares about me.
368
00:16:50,698 --> 00:16:53,361
Hey, we do.
369
00:16:53,396 --> 00:16:54,996
And... And we're
gonna stay on this phone
370
00:16:55,031 --> 00:16:56,994
as long as
you want us to.
371
00:16:57,029 --> 00:16:59,496
Come on, you're just two guys
who work at the Hotline
372
00:16:59,531 --> 00:17:02,096
and happened to show up
on the wrong night,
373
00:17:02,131 --> 00:17:05,096
and I don't even
know your real names.
374
00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:12,030
Alex Keaton.
375
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,395
James Jarrett.
376
00:17:14,430 --> 00:17:16,864
I didn't...
I didn't think you'd tell me.
377
00:17:16,899 --> 00:17:18,881
Isn't that
against the rules?
378
00:17:18,916 --> 00:17:20,829
Hey, Bill,
at a time like this,
379
00:17:20,864 --> 00:17:22,365
everything just
goes out the window.
380
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,098
Let me rephrase that.
381
00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:30,463
Look, I...
382
00:17:30,498 --> 00:17:32,263
Look, I know you guys
are really trying,
383
00:17:32,298 --> 00:17:35,465
but you still haven't told me
why I should keep living.
384
00:17:36,665 --> 00:17:38,182
Think of the good things.
385
00:17:38,217 --> 00:17:39,874
Think of falling snow,
386
00:17:39,909 --> 00:17:41,497
think of falling in love.
387
00:17:41,532 --> 00:17:45,032
I know. "Every cloud
has a silver lining. "
388
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:47,331
Uh-uh, no.
Silver's down this week.
389
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:50,833
Say... Say, "Every cloud
has a zinc lining. "
390
00:17:52,699 --> 00:17:55,765
Hey, see that, man?
You're laughing.
391
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,133
I tell you, people who have
really given up on life,
392
00:17:58,168 --> 00:17:59,598
they can't laugh.
393
00:17:59,633 --> 00:18:01,233
That wasn't a laugh.
That was a chuckle.
394
00:18:01,268 --> 00:18:02,465
Oh, come on, come on.
395
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,800
That was a laugh.
I know a laugh when I hear one,
396
00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:05,965
and you laughed.
397
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,167
All right,
I laughed. Sue me.
398
00:18:10,334 --> 00:18:12,501
Come on.
Bill, if you're laughing,
399
00:18:12,536 --> 00:18:13,466
you must be smiling.
400
00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:14,766
And... And if
you're smiling,
401
00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:16,167
you must be
starting to feel good.
402
00:18:16,202 --> 00:18:17,535
And you cannot
kill yourself
403
00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:19,285
when you're
feeling good.
404
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,001
It... It spoils the mood.
405
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,267
Look, I know you guys
are really trying,
406
00:18:24,302 --> 00:18:26,100
you know,
but it's no use.
407
00:18:26,135 --> 00:18:29,669
I just... I hate life.
I hate feeling empty every day.
408
00:18:29,704 --> 00:18:32,335
I... I hate feeling sorry
for myself. I...
409
00:18:34,235 --> 00:18:37,035
What? What is it?
410
00:18:38,002 --> 00:18:39,534
I'm scared.
411
00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:42,636
Bill, everybody
gets scared.
412
00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:43,837
Do you?
413
00:18:46,003 --> 00:18:48,303
Uh, yeah. Pfff. Sure.
414
00:18:48,338 --> 00:18:49,403
When?
415
00:18:50,603 --> 00:18:52,203
Hey, look,
I thought we were supposed
416
00:18:52,238 --> 00:18:54,001
to be talking about you,
not me.
417
00:18:54,036 --> 00:18:56,804
Oh, I get it. I have
to answer your questions,
418
00:18:56,839 --> 00:18:58,137
but you won't
answer mine.
419
00:18:58,172 --> 00:18:59,704
No, it... It's...
420
00:19:01,237 --> 00:19:03,771
It's just that
it's not easy...
421
00:19:03,806 --> 00:19:05,871
for me.
422
00:19:07,037 --> 00:19:10,304
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
I get scared.
423
00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:12,638
When?
424
00:19:17,905 --> 00:19:19,955
Uh, mostly at night.
425
00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:21,970
You know, when the...
426
00:19:22,005 --> 00:19:25,303
When the house is real quiet.
427
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:28,139
And I start
thinking about my future.
428
00:19:29,673 --> 00:19:32,523
I, uh...
I do. I get scared.
429
00:19:32,558 --> 00:19:35,338
Why should that scare you?
430
00:19:35,373 --> 00:19:38,206
You told me you've always
succeeded in everything.
431
00:19:38,241 --> 00:19:40,671
I have.
432
00:19:40,706 --> 00:19:43,472
And, uh, that's why
I get scared.
433
00:19:43,507 --> 00:19:46,574
You know, because
I'm afraid I might fail.
434
00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:48,706
And, uh...
435
00:19:48,741 --> 00:19:51,706
And, if I fail,
436
00:19:51,741 --> 00:19:54,241
I don't know
how I'd handle it.
437
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,706
So I can't
let myself fail.
438
00:19:56,741 --> 00:20:01,108
I keep pushing myself
to do better and better,
439
00:20:01,143 --> 00:20:03,608
and I keep trying
harder and harder.
440
00:20:03,643 --> 00:20:06,074
And I'm afraid
that if I stop...
441
00:20:06,109 --> 00:20:08,006
Uh, I'm sorry.
442
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,808
No, no, go on. What...?
What are you afraid of?
443
00:20:15,709 --> 00:20:20,509
I'm, uh, afraid that
if I slow down
444
00:20:20,544 --> 00:20:24,509
and, uh,
I stop being the best
445
00:20:24,544 --> 00:20:26,140
and the brightest,
446
00:20:26,175 --> 00:20:30,710
and, uh,
the wittiest that, uh...
447
00:20:30,745 --> 00:20:32,608
I'll be nothing.
448
00:20:32,643 --> 00:20:36,043
Wow. That's exactly
how I feel sometimes.
449
00:20:36,078 --> 00:20:38,041
Like... Like I'm nothing.
450
00:20:38,076 --> 00:20:40,377
Well, we all feel
that way sometimes,
451
00:20:40,412 --> 00:20:41,377
but we ride it out.
452
00:20:41,412 --> 00:20:42,442
We work at it.
453
00:20:42,477 --> 00:20:44,408
We fight the bad feelings.
454
00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:47,411
Look, Bill,
you called here, right?
455
00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:49,295
I mean, you reached out.
456
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:51,109
You don't wanna die,
457
00:20:51,144 --> 00:20:53,943
and we don't
want you to die.
458
00:20:53,978 --> 00:20:57,978
Do you really think every, uh,
cloud has a zinc lining? Ha.
459
00:20:58,013 --> 00:21:00,211
Absolutely.
460
00:21:01,712 --> 00:21:03,243
I'm gonna hang up now.
461
00:21:03,278 --> 00:21:06,812
Uh, what do you...?
What do you mean, Bill?
462
00:21:06,847 --> 00:21:09,677
I mean, I...
I wanna hang up,
463
00:21:09,712 --> 00:21:12,579
so I can get some sleep.
You know, then I can be fresh,
464
00:21:12,614 --> 00:21:13,944
and think this through,
465
00:21:13,979 --> 00:21:16,746
and find another way
to deal with it tomorrow.
466
00:21:17,980 --> 00:21:19,845
Tomorrow.
467
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,646
Did you, uh...?
Did you say tomorrow?
468
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,747
Yeah.
469
00:21:26,213 --> 00:21:29,113
Did you, uh...?
Did you hear that, James?
470
00:21:29,148 --> 00:21:31,211
I heard him.
471
00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:33,412
We were afraid
we goofed up, you know?
472
00:21:33,447 --> 00:21:36,280
Because we're new and, uh,
we're so unsure of ourselves.
473
00:21:36,315 --> 00:21:38,098
I kind of liked that.
474
00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:39,881
It made me feel superior.
475
00:21:44,614 --> 00:21:47,314
You guys were good, though.
Darn good.
476
00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,513
Well, thanks.
477
00:21:49,548 --> 00:21:52,280
Uh, but as good as we are,
478
00:21:52,315 --> 00:21:56,048
there are... There are
people who are better.
479
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:58,548
You have to get
some professional help.
480
00:21:58,583 --> 00:22:00,282
I know.
481
00:22:00,317 --> 00:22:01,947
I will.
482
00:22:01,982 --> 00:22:04,280
But it's gonna be hard
483
00:22:04,315 --> 00:22:07,016
to find somebody better
than Gandhi and Gidget.
484
00:22:09,249 --> 00:22:11,282
Thanks, guys.
485
00:22:41,551 --> 00:22:43,385
Nice going, Keaton.
486
00:22:44,818 --> 00:22:46,684
You're really something,
man.
487
00:22:46,719 --> 00:22:48,551
You weren't so bad yourself.
488
00:22:55,819 --> 00:22:58,351
You know, listen, uh,
489
00:22:58,386 --> 00:23:00,969
about that stuff
that I said, you know,
490
00:23:01,004 --> 00:23:03,552
about being scared
and all of that.
491
00:23:05,686 --> 00:23:06,751
Yeah?
492
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:09,320
Well, you know
that I was just, uh,
493
00:23:09,355 --> 00:23:10,552
saying that.
494
00:23:10,587 --> 00:23:12,118
Oh, yeah.
I know.
495
00:23:12,153 --> 00:23:15,185
I know
you don't get scared.
496
00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:17,720
Uh, James, can you
keep the lights on?
497
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:28,720
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