All language subtitles for Keping.Up.With.the.Joneses.The.Wrong.Inside.Man.2022.720p.WEB.h264-BAE

Narrator: It's been a rough
time for the jones family.

With all the betrayal,
backstabbing,

Lies and treachery,

It's a wonder the family
is still intact.

But for the youngest jones,

Things are about to go
from bad to worse.

[electricity crackling]

Welcome home, bitch.

Phoebe: This came for you.

The delivery person
said it was urgent.

What is it?

Oh, my god.

Eww! It's a fingernail!

There's something else.
There's a thumb drive.

Oh, play it.

What?

Hello, jones family,

And hello, mother.

Oh, my god.
What the hell is happening?

By now, you've heard--
well, some of you at least--

Who I really am,

And you're probably
wondering what I want.

Money, what else?

But first things first.

Don't worry. I don't keep her
tied up like this.

But I promise you,

If you even think about
calling the police,

You'll be receiving
other parts of her.

She's out of her damn mind.

We need to do something,
like right now.

No, hold on.
You heard what she said,

And I don't think
she's bluffing.

Who are you calling, robin?

She said not to call the police.
I'm not calling the police.

[line ringing]

[buzzing]

- Yes.
- Robin: Sheldon! It's tara!

- She's been kidnapped and--
- okay, calm down, don't worry.

Don't talk to anyone
and don't go anywhere.

I'll be there within the hour.

You're gonna be
a very rich woman.

Narrator: The jones family.

The closest thing
pacific hills has to royalty.

Those that know them
envy them,

Those that work for them
fear them,

And those that cross them,

Well, they rue the day
they were ever born.

Long live the queens.

Robin jones is the matriarch.

Or step-matriarch,
as she's painfully reminded.

She's the second wife
of theodore jones,

The girls' late father
and a pioneering billionaire.

Theodore was generous
to his daughters,

But he made sure the bulk
of his money and estate,

Not to mention
control of his company,

Went to robin.

And as you can imagine,

This didn't cause
any resentment.

Pam jones is the oldest,

Her father's daughter
through and through.

Pam is now the cfo
of jones enterprises,

One letter away
from where she'd like to be.

Theodore jones made his fortune
in real estate.

And although developing
commercial properties

Is still the company's
bread and butter,

They've certainly diversified
in the past decade,

Taking advantage
of their name's cachet.

Carrie jones handles the
family's charitable endeavors,

Which are just as vast
as their commercial interests.

And it sounds crazy, I know,

But she might actually care
about philanthropy.

Then there's kayla jones.

She-- well, let's just say

She's fortunate her sisters
do the heavy lifting.

Still, no one ever said

She didn't know
how to have a good time.

Oh, I almost forgot tara jones,
the baby,

Who proves the adage
that devilish things

Come in small packages.

Narrator: Alice kay,
the con artist

Who pretended to be
pam's biological daughter,

Has taken tara hostage,

And right now all the family
can do is wait.

Pam: I don't understand.

How could my own daughter
betray me like this?

She's not your daughter.

Stop with that!
Now you sound like tara.

Robin: Except tara was right.

Pam: What are you
talking about?

Tara went to England.

Nice time to go on vacation.

No, she's not on vacation.

Tara went to England to look in
the background of eve prescott.

Or more accurately,

The girl pretending
to be prescott.

Wait, wait, so you're telling me
there is no eve prescott?

- No, no, there is.
- Where is she?

She's still in England.

Okay, and she's my daughter.

Apparently, yes.

Okay, um, what happened?

Okay, I heard all of this
secondhand from tara, but...

When tara got to England,

She discovered
the real eve prescott.

So who is this woman
pretending to be pam's daughter?

Her roommate.

Some girl named alice kay.

Eve discovered that you put her
up for adoption, that's true,

And she wasn't interested
in meeting you.

But when alice kay
heard her story,

She became obsessed.

Obsessed with what?

With becoming your daughter.

Okay, now, wait,
the girl who was here,

That is pam's daughter.

Sheldon ran a dna test.
You can't fake that.

- Yeah.
- No, you can't.

But sheldon
did a test of a sample.

A hair sample, at that.

Alice kay could have
easily got that from eve

And then brought it back
to america.

So this alice kay girl,

What, she thinks she could just
take eve's place?

I mean, for what reason?

For the reason that she told us
in the video: Money.

Exactly. And she probably
totally gets off

Pretending to be
a socialite's daughter.

And when her cover was blown,

She wanted to get
all the money she can.

- By kidnapping?
- Robin: Exactly.

Is she crazy?

Hardly.

It works.
It worked before.

When?

Frank sinatra, jr.,
patty hearst, john paul getty.

Well, getty's grandfather
refused to pay.

I mean, they cut
the kid's ear off.

No, no, no, no--

Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Doesn't matter.
All that matters right now

Is that she has tara,
and we have to get her back.

Why am I just finding out
about this now?

I just found out too.

When tara got back from England,
she came to my house.

Pam, we were gonna tell you.

But why didn't she
come to me?

Because she didn't think
that I would believe her.

Narrator: True to form,
sheldon's playing both sides.

The stakes, however,
have never been higher.

This isn't a little,
friendly embezzlement.

Tara's life
hangs in the balance.

When you advise them,

Don't suggest they pay
the ransom right away.

Why not?

It'll look suspicious.

It'll look suspicious
if I suggest we negotiate.

After all, a psychopath
just kidnapped their sister.

You watch your mouth!

You just make sure that you
take care of her while I'm away.

[chuckles]
don't worry.

I'll take good care of her.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Tara jones must be
released unharmed.

Or else what?

Listen to me.

You might think that you got
the better of the joneses,

And maybe you did this time,

But I promise you,
if you harm one of their own,

There's no place you can go,

There's no place
for you to hide.

They will find you.

Just get them
to make the deal,

Then neither of us has to deal
with this family ever again.

- Thank you, phoebe.
- Mm-hmm.

Robin: Okay, sheldon should
be here any minute.

He knows everything we do,
so no need to do the recap.

Pam: Okay, when sheldon
does get here,

I don't think we should
tell him anything more

Than he needs to know.

What does that mean?

Yeah, what's this about, pam?

I just think that
we need to be more careful

With what we say around him.

Since when?
We always tell him everything.

Well, not everything.

Uh, yes, we do.

Please. You know, I don't want
to go back and forth.

Sheldon is almost here.

Pam?

Look, I wasn't gonna
say anything,

But stephen said
that he saw sheldon

Meeting with webb
the other day.

On our behalf?

No. I mean, I asked,

And he said that it did not
look like that at all.

But he didn't
hear anything, right?

No. He just saw them.

Okay, well, then look,

I know you like stephen--
I like him too--

But maybe we should give sheldon
the benefit of the doubt.

I mean, he has been working with
dad since before we were born.

Did you mention anything
to sheldon about this?

- I did.
- And?

And he got angry and sweaty
that I questioned his loyalty.

Well, maybe I should have
lance look into webb,

- Working from the inside.
- No.

If webb finds out, that will
ruin everything that we planned.

Okay, well, I'll just tell him
to keep his eyes and ears open.

Please do.

We are going
to get her back.

I promise I will do everything
within my power, robin.

Thank you, sheldon.

Now, has there been any updates
since we spoke?

No message?
No demand for ransom?

No, nothing.
Just what I told you.

And no one's
called the police in?

No. They told us not to.

They said that we would never
see her again if we did.

Do you think
we should have, sheldon?

Not necessarily,

But it is an option
that we should consider.

Look, we can't go
to the police, okay?

If something happens to tara,

I don't know what I'd do
with myself.

We do have other options
at our disposal.

There's people we can hire

Who would be more than happy
to locate her.

They know exactly
how to deal with kidnappers

Discreetly and quietly.

No, there's no time
for that, okay?

Plus, we can't even determine
where she is right now.

Well, then we really
don't have a choice.

We wait for the demand
and pay.

We were hoping that
you would have another option,

Something more creative.

Robin, this isn't a game.

This girl is very serious.

If the most important thing is
to get tara back safe and sound,

The most prudent thing to do
is pay.

Mm-mm, no.
Tara would not like that.

She'd tell her
where to stick it.

Yeah, well, tara isn't here.

Look, I promise you
if we hear anything from them,

We'll contact you,
and we'll make the deal.

Thank you, sheldon.

Shall we?

I'm not in the mood.

What is this?
Did I say something wrong or...

Not everything
is about you, william.

Then what?

My sister is still missing.

Is it that surprising
that I'm not in the mood?

She's not missing.
She's been kidnapped.

- Is that better?
- Absolutely.

Besides, tara will be fine.
She's tough.

I guess so.

But it's something else too,
isn't it?

[sighs]

Before we got back together,
I, um...

I was thinking about something.

Mm-hmm.

I was thinking about
adopting a baby.

A baby.

When we lost ours,
it was traumatic,

And, you know, I never stopped
thinking about having a child.

Kayla, have you really
thought this through?

And your sisters, what do they
have to say about it?

I haven't told them.
They wouldn't understand.

I'm not sure I understand.

They all have something.

Pam has the business,

Carrie has philanthropy,

And tara...

Tara's tara.

Just... Ever since
I became pregnant,

I just...

I thought I could be
a mother.

And you would've been
a great mother.

You will be a great mother.

And I was thinking...

Mm-hmm.

Since we're... Back together,

Maybe adoption
isn't the only option.

You mean...
You want to try again?

Maybe. I don't know.

Well, to try again,

We have to, you know, try.

I know.

I'm just...
I'm not ready yet.

All right.

I should be going.

Let me know if there's
any update with tara.

And she will be fine.

I promise.

Hope so.

Did I wake you?

No. The empty spot in the bed
next to me did.

I'm sorry.

I can't sleep.

They're not gonna hurt her.

How can you be so sure?

Because anybody
who kidnaps a jones

Knows exactly
what they're getting into.

The money can be forgiven,

But they know
if they hurt a family member,

They'd be looking
over their shoulder

For the rest of their lives.

And then some.

I just, I--

I can't believe
I fell for her story so easily.

It's a good story.

From what you told me,
completely believable.

[scoffs]

Tara didn't believe it.

Tara's not the one who gave
her child up for adoption.

So great.
I should feel guilty.

No, no.

I'm saying you're human.

You wanted it to be true.

If it had been business,
I never would've fallen for it.

No. No, you wouldn't have.

And that's the difference.

Thank you.

Come on, let's get some sleep.

I promise it's gonna work out.

Narrator: Tara has passed
one night in captivity,

The only one she'll have to

If her sisters and stepmother
have their way.

Robin, we got here
as soon as we could.

What's going on?

You gotta see this.

Good morning, jones family.

On this thumb drive,
along with this video,

You will find a text file

With a routing
and bank account number.

Please wire $10 million
into this account

By the end
of the business day.

Once you do,
tara will be returned to you.

If you do not comply
with these instructions,

You will never see her again.

Ta-ta!

Unbelievable.

Bitch.

Well, at least we know
what she wants.

- She's straightforward.
- And audacious.

$10 million.

This video, you said
it came from a drone?

Landed right on the terrace.

To fly one those things,
don't you need to be nearby?

Relatively, yeah, but the signal
doesn't travel very far.

Great. So whoever it was
was nearby an hour ago.

I don't know what good
that's going to do us.

Well, it might help us
find out who it was.

- How?
- I don't know.

But we have until
the end of the day.

We might as well
use that time.

Yeah, use that time
to do something

That could possibly
jeopardize her life?

Pam, I want her back
just as much as you do!

- [arguing]
- stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

Stop it!

Jeez!

- Where are you going?
- To call sheldon.

We need to pay it,
and we need to pay it right now.

Narrator: They say that
all roads lead to rome.

For tara jones' sake,
this one leads home,

Where she's never been happier
to be heading.

- [engine revs]
- [tires screeching]

- Oh, my god! Thank god!
- [screaming]

Baby! Baby!

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Here, drink up.

Uh, they gave me
plenty of water.

Okay, so what would you like?

Um, champagne sounds good.

Coming up.

They really didn't
hurt you at all?

Well, this isn't
the usual manicure I'm used to,

But no, they didn't hurt me.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Did they ask for a ransom?

Mm-hmm.

How much?

- 10 million.
- 10 million?

Tara...

And you paid them.

I told you guys, she would
not have wanted us to pay.

We didn't have a choice.
Don't be ridiculous, kayla.

She wasn't going to hurt me.

I was the only leverage
she had.

Without me,
there was no money.

Well, okay,
did she say anything?

Anything about future plans
or what she wanted?

No. It was about the money
the entire time.

I'm sure she would've
preferred to be an heir,

Instead of
resorting to blackmail.

So it was just
the two of you?

Most of the time, but...

Sometimes there would be
at least one other person

That would stop by.

You never saw them.

No. Every time
they came around,

Alice would blindfold me

And then put on
noise-cancelling headphones.

- Why?
- Well, obviously,

Tara could have identified
whoever it was

Just by their voice alone.

It's webb. It has to be.

I can try and find out.

No. We talked about this.
It is too risky.

Trust me,
I won't make it obvious.

In fact, I'll even let him
bring it up.

Okay, if you can,
but do be careful.

Well, now that tara is back
safe and sound,

We can go after alice.

Well, if she's smart,

She's probably outside
of the country by now.

Back to England?

Or to whatever island she had
the funds transferred to.

I agree. She's probably
long gone by now.

I'm sorry.

I know you didn't want it
to end this way.

Well, it's better
that we know now than later.

Besides, you're home,

And that is the best
and most important thing to me.

Cheers to that.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Financial stability
is important, miss jones,

But it's not the only factor.

But I could give
this little girl everything,

And I mean everything
that she could ever want.

Isn't that your job,

To be sure that these children
are in the best situations?

Yes, but the best situation

Isn't always
the wealthiest family.

Are you questioning
my affection for a child?

Not at all.
Were you to adopt,

I'm sure you would
love this child as your own.

Okay.

Okay, then what?

The board that makes
these decisions

Still prefers
a traditional family.

I've been to your website.
I've read your brochures.

It seems like every couple is
either same sex or multiracial.

Ah. And that's
the key word: Couple.

So it's because I'm single?

Well, I'm seeing someone,

And we might even
get married, in fact.

And that would help.

How about a foster child?

It's a completely
different system.

It's possible,
but it takes time,

And I know the children
are older.

I know you know of my family,
mrs. Sinclair,

And the resources
that we have.

I do.

So I will ask you again.

Is there anything you can do
to help me adopt a child?

I'm not sure
what you're asking.

And I'm sure you do know
what I'm asking.

We'll be in touch,
miss jones.

I don't stand a chance, do I?

As I said,
we'll be in touch.

Thank you.

Lance... Romance.

Hello, webb.

You enjoying your 15 minutes?

Excuse me?

Of fame.

I understand
your girlfriend's slap

Is still making the rounds
in the internet.

I wouldn't know.

Well, I'm sure
the family knows,

And they're enjoying it.

Well, right now
the family has bigger things

They should be worrying about.

Really?

Well...

Tell me about it.

Well, according to my sources,

The youngest daughter, tara,
was kidnapped.

Kidnapped?

Yup. Kidnapped
and recently returned.

Who are these
sources of yours?

Well, I have some friends

Inside the family's
sphere of influence.

Believe it or not,
not everybody loves the joneses.

And they're reputable,
your sources?

Oh, yes, they're reputable.

Even more reputable
with a little compensation.

Well, this is...

Very interesting.

But we can't let it
distract us.

The sooner we exploit
our water interest,

The sooner
we can take control.

I understand.

Remember, lance,
you are my eyes and my ears.

Well, I won't let you down.

Well...

That would be it first.

Father.

Son.

I got news.

Just got off with the lab.

They've identified
the print near leo's body

As a very specific shoe.

- Keep going.
- It's a brand

Whose name I'm not even gonna
attempt to pronounce.

It's italian or french,
but it's very expensive.

And whom do you think
this shoe belongs, exactly?

Carrie jones.

Oh, that is quite a leap,
detective.

Now, come on.
A thousand women in the city

Could own a pair of shoes
like that.

Maybe, but only one of them's
dating lance jenkins,

Webb deveraux's son.

Here. This video's been
making the rounds on social.

She really seems to
let him have it at some event.

[captain chuckles]

From what I've learned,

They've been dating
for quite some time.

Whatever led them to this,
I don't know,

- But it can only help us.
- Help us how?

We're still searching through
leo patricia's laptop.

Even though we got in,

There's plenty of files that are
additionally password protected.

But one thing's for sure:
Leo patricia

Has had numerous business
dealings with lance jenkins.

How does that help us?

Jenkins wouldn't be making
these deals on his own.

Okay, you say
he's webb deveraux's son.

Yes, but they're estranged.

- Mostly, anyway.
- Mostly?

It's hard to tell
with these people sometimes,

But from what we can tell,
this kid detests his father.

Oh, so you think he's working
on behalf of someone else,

And that someone else
could be the joneses.

Exactly.

You think he'd flip?

Well, you saw the video?
What do you think?

- I think we need more.
- Come on, captain.

At the very least, we know
they're working together, right?

We know carrie jones
probably has the shoes

That could make
that footprint.

That's enough
for a search warrant.

What happens
when we get that warrant?

We get in,
we tear her place apart,

Find the shoes
amongst other things.

What if we don't, johnson?

Our case falls apart.

Our entire case.

I'm sorry, detective,
but we need more.

Keep digging.

- [door opens]
- huh?

[door closes]

- [screams]
- oh, god!

[gasps]

[laughing]

Well, that's what I get
for giving you my alarm code.

What, a heart attack?

No. Some of this.

My compliments to the chef.

Oh, well, the chef thanks you
for humoring her

'cause I know that was not...
[laughs]

At least you picked
a beautiful bottle of bordeaux.

- True, I did.
- You're really good at that.

Aww...
[laughs]

Hmm. I have noticed
you're a little

Uncharacteristically quiet
tonight, babe.

Just a long day.

Uh, all your days
are long and hard.

So what's going on, babe?

I talked to my brother,

And he said they're narrowing
down the list of suspects

In leo patricia's
attempted murder.

And?

And they are focusing
on carrie.

Carrie?

That's ridiculous!

- Well, what did you hear?
- That's what I heard.

I mean, it's not like joey's
part of the investigation.

- He only gets bits and pieces.
- Well, can he find out more?

Without arousing suspicion?
I don't know.

Yeah, but I don't understand.

I mean, all of us
are involved with leo,

Along with hundreds
of other people,

Carrie not any more
than the rest of us.

That just doesn't even
make sense.

I'm just delivering
the information.

Don't shoot the messenger.

- Don't shoot the messenger.
- That's what I'm saying..

How about I take
the messenger to bed?

Hmm. I could probably
be persuaded.

- How about...
- Ooh!

I take the chef to bed?

- Hear, hear.
- [laughs]

Is everything okay?

Come on in. Shut the door.

Okay.

Pam, what is it?

Did you have anything
to do with leo patricia?

You mean
why is he in a coma?

Yeah.

Pam, I-I can't even believe
you asked me this.

If you think that I had
anything to do with--

Carrie, just-- no!
Just don't, okay?

We are past that.

Now, if you did,
I need to know now,

While I can still help you.

Well, I didn't.

Look, I realize
that things have changed, okay?

I realize
that you're not content

Just running the charities,

And I realize that leo
was a thorn in lance's side.

Why are you saying
all of this?

Because I would
totally understand

If you decided
to take care of leo yourself.

Well, I didn't,
and no one can prove that I did.

Look, carrie, I'm your sister,

So I always have your back.

But there's only
so much I can do.

[scoffs]

Well, I appreciate
your concern, sis,

But I can
take care of myself.

God, I hope that's true.

Narrator: While pam is
concerned about carrie,

Some close acquaintances
of william french

Want some words with him.

Carter: William!

What the hell
are you two doing?

I think we need
to have a little chat.

Here?
Are you out of your mind?

Her apartment
is down the street.

You weren't
returning our calls.

What would you
like us to do?

Okay, fine.

But if she spots us,
it's going to be your fault.

Like the doctor said,

What would you have us do
if you don't return our calls?

Do either of you
have any idea

Of what a delicate situation
this is?

Kayla used to be my fiancée.
I broke her heart.

It's going to take more
than me flashing my smile

For her to trust me again.

Why? Didn't take me that long.

The two of you are going
to screw things up,

I'm telling you.

You wouldn't even be
in this position

If it wasn't
for the two of us.

I realize that.

Which is why
I've taken extreme care

Not to mess this up.

You have no idea
what I'm dealing with.

She's talking about
having kids,

Adopting a baby,
for god's sake.

Okay, okay, but when do we
see some money, william?

As soon as I get my hands on it,
you'll get your cut.

And when will that be?

Well, it's not
an exact science.

She's not gonna turn and say,

"I love you.
Here's a check."

I need to insert myself
into some of their deals.

We'll do it,
and do it quickly.

You're gonna have
to do something

To get her
to trust you again.

Like what?

Figure it out.

That's your problem,
not ours.

Just remember,
without me, you get nothing.

Nothing.

Come on, let's go.

Narrator: Hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned,

Unless she was kidnapped,

And unless that woman
is tara jones.

Tara: I can accept eve--

Alice whatever the hell
her name is--

If she gets away with it,
I can accept that,

But whoever helped her,
that's who needs to pay.

Maybe it was nobody special.
A hired gun.

If that was the case,
then why would they make sure

That I couldn't hear
or see anything?

Even a hired gun might not
want to be identified.

No, no.

Okay, tara,
so what are you thinking?

I think you know
what I'm thinking.

Who has an interest in keeping
us perpetually off guard?

Who knows exactly how and
where to launder $10 million?

Who? Webb?

Duh!

I don't think so, tara.

Of course you don't think so.
He's your father.

Who I hate with
every fiber of my being.

So why couldn't it
have been webb?

I asked him about it.

- You did?
- Yes.

He was surprised by the news,
not smug,

As if he didn't have anything
to do with it.

Yeah, but that's not
actually any proof, lance.

No, no, I know.
I'm just saying I have a feeling

That he didn't have anything
to do with it.

Well, I need more
than just a feeling.

Look, if lance said webb
had nothing to do with it,

Then webb had nothing
to do with it.

He's not sure!

I'm not sure.

And I'm sorry, carrie,

But you're not the one
who was taken.

Tara, I love you.

Look, if I could've traded
places with you at any second--

Oh, yeah, right!
No, you wouldn't!

Stop, stop! Enough, enough.

The important thing
is that tara is home.

I'm sure you will continue
your investigating

On your own time.

Damn right.

And when we find out
who's responsible for this,

Trust me, we will
deal with them accordingly.

In the meantime,
we still have a company to run

And money to make.

Amen to that.

You have become
quite domestic.

Watch yourself.

I like.

[laughing]

I'm kidding.

But believe me,
don't think I haven't noticed.

- Noticed?
- How you've changed.

Your ambition.

Even with this whole
adoption idea,

It's nice to see
that you're no longer content

To have your sisters
take the reins.

Oh?

And take advantage of you.

I wouldn't say
they take advantage of me.

Kayla...

I have something
I need to tell you.

What is it?

I've struggled with this,
believe me.

I didn't want to tell you,

Especially considering
how well things are going,

But I think
you deserve to know.

What is it, william?

I was intimate with pam...

A long time ago
when we were engaged.

Okay, william.
[laughs]

Okay, you really had me there
for a second.

I'm sorry.

You're serious.

I didn't want it to happen,
believe me.

Kayla, I am so sorry.

Are you sorry?
How could you, william?

Just please,
just listen to me.

It just happened.
I don't know what else to say.

It just happened,
and you had no part in it?

Well, you know how persuasive
pam can be.

Oh, will you shut up?
You sound pathetic!

I've struggled with this,
believe me.

This has been
eating me up inside,

And it's probably why I acted up
with other women. I don't know.

How do I know
you're telling the truth?

I had something
as perfect as you.

Do you think I'd voluntarily
throw that away?

I'd have to be
out of my mind.

Yes, that's right, I need to
know where the funds ended up.

The destination country,
absolutely.

And can you also get
the account holder name?

- [beep]
- one second.

I gotta go, but when you
find something, let me know.

I'll make it
worth your while.

Hello?

Tara, it's eve.
Eve prescott.

Hi, eve. Is everything okay?

I'm ready.

What do you mean?

You told me to call you
when I was ready.

Well, I've been thinking
about it, and I'm ready.

I want to meet my mother.

When can you leave?

When can you get me there?

I'll see what I can do.

- And, tara?
- Yeah.

You're sure
it will be okay, right?

That she'll...
She'll want to meet me.

I promise.

Okay.

Narrator:
The sins of the mothers

And the sins of the daughters

Have nothing on
the sins of the sisters.

[doorbell rings]

[doorbell rings]

Kayla, come in.
What's going on, hon?

[yelps]

Oh, my god!

- What--
- I know.

I have no idea
what you're talking--

Kayla
liar!

I know!

You know what?

William. He told me.

He told me everything.

Look, I have no idea
what william told you.

He told me
that you seduced him,

That you weren't even
planning on telling me!

No! He's lying to you!

- He's not lying!
- None of that is true!

I've been seeing william.

He promised me
no more lies.

Oh, please.

Yet you're the one
who slept wit him.

It was a mistake.

A mistake?

Mm-hmm.

A mistake is using
the company credit card

At fred segal!

You slept with my fiancé!

But, kayla, you have to remember
what was going on back then.

It was crazy. I--

Okay, okay, please, pam!

Tell me what pathetic
justification you have

For doing what you did.

I don't want to see you
anymore.

From this moment on,
you are dead to me.

No, kayla,
don't be ridiculous.

You know,
I always envied you, pam,

Being the oldest,
the head of the household.

Little did I know
you're just a common whore.

Oh, kayla, kayla, kayla,
come on, kayla.

Kayla...

[shrieks]

We got him!
We freaking got him.

What's this?

Leo patricia's
cell phone records.

Right before he was attacked,
he received a phone call.

- You know from who?
- I could guess,

But I don't wanna
steal your thunder.

Lance jenkins.

Bring him in.

Yes!

Detective, only jenkins.

We leave the joneses alone.

Just for now.

Captain, we can
bring them both in,

Keep them apart,
but let them see each other.

We can break them both
at once.

Yeah, but we do that,
and joneses' lawyer

Will have her out of here
before we even process her.

So what?
We can at least rattle them.

And then she'll clam up,

And then we'll be forced
to bring charges,

Charges we are not ready
to make stick.

Okay, and jenkins?

Yeah, he's the proverbial
sweater string.

One pull,
and everything will unravel.

Narrator: With the slap
heard round the country

Still front page news
on gossip sites,

Carrie and lance
need to keep a low profile.

I see your point, but I think
we should address this

At a grassroots level.

That way we can make certain

That the people
who actually need the water

Actually get it,

And the press can see it
firsthand.

You're doing really
amazing work, you know that?

Thank you.

But would you look
at this place though?

Oh, come on.
It's not our usual place, no,

But we would be
spotted there, okay?

And that would ruin
everything.

Besides,
if we get spotted here,

We deserve to get
the scoop on us.

Lance jenkins?

Yes.

My name is
detective nancy johnson.

I was hoping I could ask you
some questions.

Of course.

This isn't really
the most opportune place.

The station?

If you wouldn't mind.

Lance...

Am I under arrest?

Like I said,
if you wouldn't mind.

I'll be fine.

I'll meet you at home, okay?

Hi, carrie.

Where's pam?

She's at your stepmother's.

Is everything okay?

Narrator: Carrie knows
that anything related

To leo patricia

Spells trouble

For her, for lance,

And for the entire
jones family.

And when there's trouble
for the family,

That's when
the claws come out.

You do not want to be on
the wrong side of the joneses.

So I think that we should
keep this between us.

I think that you are right.

Okay.

Pam: Carrie! Girl, what's wrong?

It's lance.
He's been arrested.

- Arrested?
- Well, not technically,

But he's down
at the police station.

They're questioning him
about leo patricia.

Okay, if they had enough
to charge them with anything,

They would've done it already.

- Are you sure?
- I'm positive.

Did they say why
they wanted to bring him in?

No. We were actually about
to grab lunch at reggie's

Because no one would
spot us there, so...

Reggie's? Where's that?

Uh, it's down at
the bottom of the ca--

It's not important.

- Uh, it is important.
- Yeah.

Because you're not supposed
to be seen in public together.

No one at reggie's even
knows who we are or cares.

No, that doesn't matter, girl.

- You can't be seen...
- Not now, pam.

- Or else the entire plan--
- I said not now, goddamn it!

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm just--
I'm just worried about lance.

Girl, it's okay.

[sighs]

So what are you doing here?

Oh, I just stopped by
to talk to robin.

About?

I slept with william french.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wha-- how?

How? Girl, I'm not
telling you all of that.

Well, I don't mean how.
I mean like...

Before or after
he was with kayla.

During.

Oh.

Now kayla's back with william,
and she won't even speak to me.

Uh, okay, um, well...

Honestly, I can't say
that I blame her.

And thank you.

Look, it doesn't matter
who forgives who.

At this point, we gotta
figure out some kind of way

To get kayla away from william.

She's not herself
when she's with him.

I know, but she's not gonna
listen to me, that's for sure.

At this point, I don't think
she's gonna listen to any of us.

She needs to see
for herself

Just how toxic william is.

So what am I gonna do
about lance?

For right now, I don't think
there's much you can do.

I mean, they brought him in,
and they're gonna question him.

You could barge in
and demand a lawyer,

But lance is smart.
If he thought he needed one,

He would've requested one
already.

I know, I know. I just...

I just wish there was something
more I could do for him.

Well...

Are you sure there isn't?

I'm out of here.
I'm gonna go wait for lance.

Carrie...

I'll never forgive her.

I swear to god,
I'll never forgive her.

I told her that, you know.

I said, "if kayla finds out,
she'll never forgive you."

[scoffs]

What did she say
when you confronted her?

A lot of bs, that's what.

I'm a little surprised.

I thought
she'd try to deny it.

You know,
her word against mine.

It's only a natural
you'd believe family, right?

She's not family.

Not anymore.

You know what I wish?

I wish we could get away,
just the two of us.

Like a vacation?

No. For good.

I'd like that.

It's a pity
we couldn't do it.

You have too many...
Encumbrances.

We could, you know.

I'm serious.

How?

Sure, my inheritance
is locked in a trust,

But I mean,
all of ours are.

I could ask for some of it.

And that some could be a lot.

Kayla...

Then...

There's our new
business venture.

Considering what
pam has done to me,

I can use that as leverage.

Kayla, you shouldn't do that.

You need to save your money,

Despite what the two of us
could do with it.

That's what your sisters
would tell you to do.

Yeah?

Well, I'm tired
of being a good soldier.

It's late.

Let's talk tomorrow.

Narrator: While one sister
is scheming,

Another is concerned
that recent events

May have landed her lover
in jail.

[door closes]

Oh, thank god. I've been
calling and texting you.

I'm sorry. I didn't have
a moment of privacy.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.
I'm just exhausted.

So tell me, what'd they say?

They asked me
all the standard questions:

How well I knew leo,
what my business was with him,

Where I was
on the night in question.

Okay, yeah,
sounds pretty standard.

Yeah, but they kept
going on and on and on,

And I couldn't figure out why.

They asked me about
these texts that I sent to leo,

Asking him to meet me,
and why did I do that.

And of course I thought
they were trying to set me up

Because I know damn well
I didn't text leo that day.

But then they pulled up
my call logs from my phone,

And it turns out
someone did text him.

Lance...

But why?

I didn't mean for you
to take the blame, I swear.

Carrie, why?

Because I saw
what he was doing to you,

And I saw
how stressed out you were.

Look, leo patricia
has been wetting his beak

With our family for years.

I just wanted him
to leave you alone.

Yes, but I wish you would have
talked to me about it.

You'd never admit it.

You would've just told me
you were fine.

So how did you leave it?

I told them I didn't know
who sent the text or why.

And they believed you?

Of course not, but they didn't
have enough to keep me there,

Although I think they're gonna
be keeping a close eye on me.

So what do we do now?

I'll think of something.

No.

I got us into this.

I'll get us out.

Look, I love you, carrie.

I love you, but next time,

Next time please tell me
what you're doing, okay?

I love you too.

- [knocking]
- pam: Hey.

Pam, come on in. Sit down.

Thanks for seeing me
right away, sheldon.

Pam, please,
if you need me, I'm here.

This is about eve, I assume.

Actually, no.

Don't tell me
you let go of all that.

Sheldon, I thought you knew us
better than that.

I really wish you would.

$10 million isn't something
to sneeze at,

But in the long run, it's a drop
in the bucket for the joneses.

Mm-hmm. And then what happens
the next time?

They ask for 20,
oh, and then they ask for 30,

And then why not
a cool billion?

I think this is
a onetime thing.

Pam, you can't still be
questioning my loyalty.

Can you?

I have been more loyal to you
than anyone.

Then I'm sure you won't mind
doing us a favor, will you?

Of course.
Tell me what it is.

The cops are looking for someone
to pin leo patricia on,

And they're looking at my family
and our associates.

They have anything?

Doesn't matter. We need
to give them something better.

Someone believable.

And soon.

Hey, brick!

I need--

Who the hell are you?

I'm agent peterson.

Mr. Webb deveraux,
you're under arrest.

[laughs]

Arrest? For what?

For the attempted murder
of leo patricia.

Attempted murder?

What the hell
are you talking about?

You have the right
to remain silent--

No, I don't want
the right to remain silent.

I want you to tell me
what's going on.

Oh, you'll find out shortly.

As of now, kayla's still not
talking to the family.

She'll go back to them
eventually. It's inevitable.

Inevitable is fine,
just not yet.

How much more time
do you need?

It's not a science, carter.
It's an art.

And right now
we're further along

Than anyone could have hoped.

I don't trust
that son of a bitch

As far as I could throw him.

Carter?

Dr. Collins?

Kayla, what a surprise.

Guess who I saw outside.

Who?

How could you, william?
How could you?

Sweetheart, just calm down,
and let's talk this out.

Oh talk? You really think
you can talk your way

Out of this situation?

Just, just let me explain.
It's not what you think.

Who are they, friends?

Oh, my god,
is she even a real doctor?

Kayla, just listen to me,
please.

However I got us back together
doesn't matter.

What matters
is that we are together.

Not anymore.

And if I ever see you again,
william french,

I will kill you.

Narrator: Spurned twice
by william french,

Kayla needs a friendly shoulder
to cry on.

But what if that shoulder
belongs to someone

Who stabbed her in the back?

[crying]

Here, darling.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

I'm such an idiot!

No, kayla.

Baby, you're just too trusting.

No, I'm an idiot!
[crying]

Okay.

Okay, you're an idiot,
but you're our idiot.

I swear to god,

I'm gonna make him wish
he was never born!

That's the spirit.

Well, what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I have some ideas.

I would apologize

If I thought that it was even
close to being sufficient.

It's not.

Hence, no apology.

So why?

It's not like
there was a reason.

No.

You don't get off that easy.

No, I deserve an answer.

A real answer.

You were always the pretty one,

The smart one,
the successful one.

Why did you have to take
the one thing

That was only mine?

If I'm being honest, kayla,

I wasn't even
thinking of you.

With all the pressure

And all of the responsibilities
at the company,

I just needed something
that was easy and fun

And took my mind off of things,
and that meant nothing.

But you knew
how much he meant to me.

He was everything.

I was selfish.

I know that.

I don't have an excuse.

There isn't
anything else to say.

I was selfish.

And I am so sorry, girl.

I am so, so sorry.

Okay.

I want my lawyer.

It's my right, you know.

You don't want a lawyer.

Excuse me?

I said you don't want a lawyer.

Bring in a lawyer,
things go on record,

We all get
a little formal, stiff.

Right now
the best thing for you

Is to agree to have
a little chat with me.

And if I refuse?

Lawyer.

All right, let's chat.

[laughs]

We have you for the attempted
murder of leo patricia.

You've got nothing.

No, we have your son.
That's good enough,

And it won't be uh hard to prove
he took his orders from you.

That's a bunch of crap.

I never ordered lance
to do anything. He's a moron.

Well, maybe you did,
maybe you didn't.

Lucky for you,
the fbi isn't really interested

In what happened
to leo patricia.

What do you want then?

Something bigger.

Something much bigger.

Narrator: Once again,

The joneses have
vanquished all enemies.

Or so they think.

It was simple, really.

I explained to them that it was
webb who tried to murder leo.

- The feds, they believed you?
- Why wouldn't they?

Because they had that shoeprint,
the woman's high heel print.

Oh, I admitted I was there.
I couldn't hide that.

But I explained that it was
webb, who was there with me.

And they didn't ask you why you
didn't bring it up before?

They did, but then
sheldon stepped in.

He did a commendable job

In explaining
how terrified I was of webb.

[laughing]

Wait, what about why
webb would want leo murdered

In the first place?

Oh, that's an easy one,

So easy that I pretended
to have no idea at all

And let them come up
with an idea all on their own.

So you told them webb found out
leo was blackmailing us,

But of course they knew that
because they had leo's files.

And because our business is
so closely tied with webb's,

An attack on us
was an attack on him.

Bingo.

Mrs. Jones?

- Yes.
- Mr. Burns is here.

Thanks.
You can send him back, janet.

So you know sheldon really
stepped up for us this time.

You trust him now, pam?

He did us a favor that was also
in his own best interests.

That's all.

Hello, jones family.

Hello there, sheldon.

Let me get you
a glass of champagne.

How could I resist, robin?

There you go.

To setting things right.

Exactly.

[chuckling]

So, sheldon, what happens now?

With?

With webb's estate.

It's really not
that complicated.

The feds are going to
go for civil forfeiture,

But we can beat that.

Basically, we start
separating assets immediately.

- Finally!
- Good.

Well, that deserves a toast.

On behalf of the joneses,
thank you, sheldon.

- Cheers.
- Cheers!

Let me pour you
another glass.

[sniffs]

You.

Your cologne.

My cologne?

I mean, I'm not a fan either,

But it's a little
melodramatic.

No, no.

It was you.

What was me?

When I was kidnapped,
you were there.

You were with alice!

Tara, are you sure?

This is preposterous.

No, it was you!

Do you know how many people

Wear the same kind
of cologne as me?

- Come on!
- I've never smelt it before.

I haven't either.

Okay, all right, everyone,

Let's just calm down, huh?

Sheldon, were you there?

Robin, everything
I have ever done

Has been in the interest
of this family.

It's a simple question.
Were you there?

- No!
- Liar!

You were there,
and I would bet my life on it!

We were the ones
who led them straight to alice.

Let me ask you this,
sheldon.

Was it your idea or hers?

Pam, come on.

No, no.

Stephen napoli
was right about you.

You were working with webb
behind our backs

This entire time.

That's why you had no problem
framing him for killing leo.

You needed him
out of the picture.

Sheldon.

Robin, theodore trusted me!

Don't you dare invoke
my husband's name.

Were you there?

Answer me!

Should we call security?

- Let him go.
- He'll run.

No, it's sheldon.
Where's he gonna run to?

It's not like
he's a survivalist.

We don't have enough evidence
to arrest him anyway.

I don't want him arrested.
I want him dead.

No, no, baby girl, let's not
do anything rash yet, okay?

We need to figure out
how to play this.

I'm gonna go to the office.

I need to lock sheldon
out of all of our accounts.

Now, I'll handle
the family business,

But if any of you had personal
accounts that he was working on,

You need to cut him out
right now.

Why?

Why would sheldon
do this to us?

Money. Why else?

He had plenty of money.

Trust me,
we paid him very well.

Yeah, well,
apparently, not that well.

Not well enough to compete
with a $10 million payday.

No one in their right mind
would turn that down.

[beep]

No.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

That's it?
That's all I have to do

Is just feed you information
on the joneses' deals?

- That's all.
- What if I refuse?

We charge you,
and you go to jail.

We'll release a statement
that says you're being held

For the attempted murder
of leo patricia.

Are you kidding?

I mean, that doesn't sound
particularly good for me

Or my business.

[laughs]

What if they're clean?

You don't get to be that rich

Or that powerful without
getting a little dirt on you.

In fact, we just blocked
a $10 million wire transfer

To an offshore account.

Recipient, alice kay.

Does that name
mean anything to you?

No.

We blocked it
under anti-terrorism statutes.

Now, a wire that large
requires additional scrutiny.

I'm sorry. I don't know
anything about it.

But you'll find out.
That is your job.

My job is to make it stick.

Detective johnson?

That's right.

I was told
I can find you here.

[scoffs]
fbi?

I thought we'd get that
out of the way early.

That way you know who to blame.

I'm not in the mood
for riddles, agent.

Oh, in that case,
I'll get right to the point.

I've been told you've been
leading the investigation

Into the attack
of leo patricia.

That's correct.

Not anymore.

Excuse me?

The fbi has taken over
the investigation.

Like hell you are.

I understand your anger,
detective, I really do.

But we have jurisdiction.
You know that.

You know what?
Screw your jurisdiction.

I'm the one
who broke the case.

And your contributions
will be recognized.

I already spoke
to your captain.

You spoke to o'neill?

Yeah, she's the one who told me
I could find you here.

Your men are gonna come in here,
mess things up,

And whoever did this
is gonna walk.

Well, that's just a chance
we're gonna have to take.

This is why
everyone hates the feds.

Good day, detective.

Hey, tell me one more thing.

What's the feds' interest
in this?

It's a simple assault,
even if he is a civil servant.

If that's really what
you believe, detective,

Then I don't feel so bad
about taking away your case.

"your application for adoption
has been denied."

[sobs]

Narrator: It's no doubt been
a fitful night for the joneses.

But now a new day has dawned,

A day without the services
of sheldon burns.

[line ringing]

Wake up, miss jones,
we have a problem.

And he wasn't in the car.
You're sure.

Positive. Completely empty.

A little blood on the dash,
that's all.

- You don't think he's...
- Dead? No.

Probably has a bad headache,

But he could easily
have walked away.

Hey, what the hell's going on?

This morning,
anthony found sheldon's car

Crashed right outside
of our property.

And sheldon?

Best we can figure,
mr. Burns was distraught

When he left the property
yesterday.

He drove off and crashed.

Not wanting to come back inside,
he walked to the road.

And someone picked him up?

We assume so, unless he
walked the road all night,

And that doesn't seem
very likely.

Were the police contacted?

I didn't think
that was a good idea.

And how come we're just
finding out about this now,

Instead of yesterday
when it actually happened?

The alarms are disabled whenever
guests are on the property.

- Robin!
- I don't think it's a good idea

To have the alarms going off
every time a guest arrives.

Okay, okay, so sheldon's car's
on our property,

And sheldon is
nowhere to be found.

Should I alert the guards
to keep a lookout for him?

You think
he'll come back for it?

Not if he's got
a brain cell left.

You did hit his head
pretty hard,

Enough to draw blood.

Well, look, he was lucid enough
to walk away,

He knows to stay away.

Anthony, I will let you know
if there's anything else.

- Thank you.
- Of course.

So what do we do now?

Well, I've already blocked
sheldon's access

To all of our accounts,
and not just bank accounts.

I mean llcs, mutual funds,
stocks.

All of it.
He's shut out.

Sheldon has enough money
of his own.

I don't think that
he would bother ours.

I mean, that's illegal.

So is kidnapping.

True.

So where you going now?

Well, I was on my way to the
office when you called, so I'm--

Hey, let me grab my purse.
I'll go with you.

- Okay.
- Be back.

Stephen:
So no one knows where he is.

No. I mean,
he could be at his home,

He could be at his office
for all we know.

But you haven't tried
to find him.

No, no, and we haven't
contacted the police either.

We're still thinking about
how we want to play this.

Well, you let me know
if I can help in any way.

Always.

Actually, uh...

There is something else
I'd like to discuss with you.

You have been
so incredibly wonderful

Through all of this

That I would like to discuss

Expanding
our business relationship.

I'm all ears.

So with webb
out of the picture,

We now own
more property than god,

And perhaps we could give
napoli construction

An exclusive contract
or an equity stake.

I agree.

I think we should expand
our business relationship.

But more importantly,

I think we should expand
our personal relationship.

Ooh, absolutely.

And sheldon was nowhere--

- Hey!
- Hey.

Where'd you go?

Oh, I was outside
finishing up a call.

- Is stephen still here?
- Hmm?

I saw his car.

Oh, no, no,
he left a while ago.

Your hair. Let me just get
that little piece--

Don't! Get out of my chair!

Can we please just
get down to business?

- Sure.
- Yes!

Let's get down to business.
Robin...

You really need to make
a statement about webb's arrest.

How about he got exactly
what was coming to him?

Somehow I don't think that's
the image we want to project.

Well, some enterprising reporter
is going to take this story.

It's too juicy.

Well, let them.
We have nothing to hide.

And that's exactly
what they're going to believe.

What about sheldon?

What about him?

- A statement?
- Why?

I mean, who makes a statement
about their lawyer, right?

Besides, what would we say?

Uh, that sheldon burns
is the most unethical,

Backstabbing lawyer
in existence?

And that's saying a lot,

Considering all the other
lawyers out there.

I really think we should
have him disbarred.

I doubt that his legal license

Is at the top of his worries
right now.

But we do need to decide what
to do about him once he's found.

If he's found.

Oh, he'll be found.

Sooner rather than later,
I bet.

But robin's right.

We need to decide
what we're gonna with him,

How we're going
to make him pay...

For everything.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

Yes, hello, this is michelle
from pharmcon.

Is miss kayla jones
available, please?

No, no, she's not.
What is this regarding?

We handle the prescription part
of her health plan,

And this number was listed
as her alternate contact.

Well, of course.
I'm her partner.

Well, we've been trying
to reach her

To let her know she's reached
her limit on estronaline.

Estronaline.

Brand name
for clomiphene citrate,

Her fertility treatments.

Fertility treatments?

Well, I will certainly
let her know.

Thank you.

Mrs. Jones,
the cameras are all on,

And the alarms are set.

Thank you, anthony.

You sure you don't
want me to stay?

No.

We can set up shifts
until things calm down.

I'm fine. It's best that
things get back to normal.

- Have a good night.
- You too.

Let me show you out.

- Good night.
- You too.

Hello?

Hello!

[phone ringing]

- Hey, pam.
- Hey, robin. How are you?

[sighs]

I'm just a little jumpy,
that's all.

Well, that's understandable,

Given everything
that's going on.

Yeah, I guess.

How about security?

Oh, anthony, um...

I sent him home

Because I just want things
to get back to normal, so...

Oh, but I checked
the security cameras,

And... Nothing.

Okay, good. Look, try to get
some sleep, all right?

You're exhausted.
That's not helping anything.

You're right.

So I'll see you at the office
tomorrow, right?

Yeah.

[gasps]

Right?

[phone ringing]

It's pam.

[ringing continues]

It'll go to voicemail.

But if I don't answer it,
she's gonna get suspicious.

We'll take that chance.

Hello, this is robin jones.

Please leave a message
at the tone.

[beep]

How did you get in here?

What are you talking about?

You invited me.

Yesterday?

Your car?

It was just a ruse.

I never left the property.

But why?

Why?

Where could I go?

Where on earth could I go
where you wouldn't find me?

You'd never stop looking.

Or maybe you would,
but not pam.

And certainly not tara.

No. Why--
why any of this?

We trusted you.

Treated you like family.

Hah!

Family?

That's sweet.

That's really nice,

But I don't think even you
believe that, robin.

So it was all for the money.

You say that
as if it's inexplicable.

Everything this family
has ever done

Has been all about the money.

Everything you have ever done
has been all about the money.

Not everything, sheldon.

Oh, you mean when you married
dear old theodore?

I loved my husband!

Would you have married him
if he was just another guy?

Would you have given him
a second glance?

You're a real bastard,
sheldon.

Yes, I suppose I am.

Sit. Sit, please.

You know what would be
wonderful right now?

A drink.

You wouldn't happen to have
anything around, would you?

Something in, uh...
In a single malt.

Something nice and smoky.

In my bedroom? No.

But, um, I can fix you--

Nice try, robin.

- [line ringing]
- come on, girl, pick up.

[ringtone]

[sighs]

Yeah.

Hey, are you busy?

A little. Why?

Look, I was on the phone
with robin,

And it suddenly cut out.
It was weird.

So what do you want me
to do about it?

I'm on my way over there
right now,

But you're closer,
so meet me there, okay?

Thanks, carrie.

I don't want to know
what that was about, do I?

Nope.

Not one bit.

We paid you well.

Not enough, obviously.

You always claim
to be so loyal.

And I was...
When it suited me.

You can try to make this
more complicated,

But when it comes down to it,

You are nothing but a traitor.

Traitor? Is that how
you would describe me?

I lied for you.

I've stolen for this family.

And when you found yourself

Sitting on a potential
billion-dollar windfall,

Where was it for sheldon, huh?

"here, sheldon,
take your retainer."

My retainer?

Would you listen
to yourself?

Please.

Please, come on, sheldon,
you don't want to do this.

You got it wrong.

I've wanted to do this
for a long, long time.

Oh, god!

Run! Come on, robin!

Go!

[engine revs]

[tires screech]

What the--

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god!

What happened?

He just came out of nowhere.

So how is sheldon?

Well, his doctors haven't been
exactly forthcoming

With that information.

But we've heard through
the grapevine, of course,

That he has a shattered pelvis
and a punctured spleen.

And a grade three concussion.

And what does that mean?

Well, that means
he won't be getting out of bed

For a long time,

Which will give us
plenty of time

To decide what we're
gonna do with him.

But sheldon was no fool,

And he did manage to use us
for an incredibly long time.

And he would have kept using us
if it hadn't been for you.

I just told you what I saw.

I'd like to think I had a little
something to do with it.

Just a little.
That and the fact

That sheldon puts on cologne
like a gigolo.

- [laughter]
- [phone ringing]

Yes?

Okay, thank you.

She's here.

She's here.

- You ready?
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, you sure you're ready?

I am, I am.

Oh!

Oh, that's my beautiful girl!

I'm sorry.

You have nothing
to apologize for.

We have so much
to catch up on,

So much to learn
about each other.

A lifetime.

Oh, god, but first let me
introduce you to your family.

- You know tara.
- Tara, hi.

Good to see you.

And this is your
auntie carrie.

Carrie.

And her boyfriend lance.

Hi, lance.

This is auntie kayla.

This is your mom's
boyfriend, stephen.

All right,
there's gonna be a test.

[laughter]

And last but not least,
this is robin.

Hi, robin.

Yes?

Are you sure?

Pam: Come on, everybody.

Robin: Group hug, group hug!

Thank you.

Narrator: And so the jones
family continues to grow

In some unexpected
but not unwelcome ways.

And now let's fast forward
just a bit.

I want the baby
to be an artist.

No, no, no, a doctor.

What we need is a lawyer.

A family lawyer...
Who we can trust.

Well, whatever the baby is,

I hope it's a hell-raiser
like its aunt.

Well, all I know is
she'll be all mine.

All mine. Her daddy
won't even know about her.

Wait, her?

[giggles]

I couldn't wait.
I asked the doctor.

It's a girl?

- It's a girl.
- Aww!

To my cousin.

And to you, eve.

Yes, let's do a toast,
let's do a toast.

To the next generation
of joneses.

All: Cheers!

[laughter]

Narrator: So let us raise
a glass with them,

To the next generation
of joneses,

The closest thing
pacific hills has to royalty.

Those that know them
envy them,

Those that work for them
fear them,

And those that cross them,

Well, they rue the day
they were ever born.

Long live the queens.