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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:41,759 --> 00:00:46,759 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:20,566 Come on! 3 00:01:48,126 --> 00:01:49,961 Let's split up! 4 00:01:50,429 --> 00:01:52,598 ♪ I say don't you know ♪ 5 00:01:52,631 --> 00:01:55,233 - ♪ You say you don't know ♪ - I still got it! 6 00:01:55,334 --> 00:02:00,339 ♪ I say take me out ♪ 7 00:02:04,042 --> 00:02:06,978 Listen Irish, you drink, you pay. 8 00:02:07,011 --> 00:02:08,913 I know what you're after. 9 00:02:09,047 --> 00:02:11,283 Me last night of freedom... 10 00:02:11,317 --> 00:02:15,321 and I'm not wearing any underwear! 11 00:02:15,454 --> 00:02:16,489 What?! 12 00:02:16,522 --> 00:02:19,492 You scared of a woman who knows what she wants?! 13 00:02:22,127 --> 00:02:23,596 Help me. 14 00:02:23,928 --> 00:02:26,097 - What? - Help me... 15 00:02:26,131 --> 00:02:27,533 I need.... 16 00:02:27,566 --> 00:02:29,668 Aw sorry, I don't speak Romanian. 17 00:02:29,702 --> 00:02:32,170 - Help me. - You shot a man? 18 00:02:32,271 --> 00:02:34,139 - I've no leus. - Help me... 19 00:02:34,172 --> 00:02:38,344 - I need blood. - Bleedin' junkie! 20 00:02:40,245 --> 00:02:41,414 The thrill of the chase. 21 00:02:41,447 --> 00:02:43,382 It gets the blood pumping. 22 00:02:47,486 --> 00:02:49,087 Garlic chip. 23 00:03:24,256 --> 00:03:26,459 Get out of my way, you fuckin' creep, ya! 24 00:03:26,492 --> 00:03:29,395 - Have a good night pal! - Ah, me bollocks! 25 00:04:50,174 --> 00:04:52,511 ♪ When I'm out walking I strut my stuff ♪ 26 00:04:52,545 --> 00:04:54,547 ♪ And I'm so strung out ♪ 27 00:04:54,847 --> 00:04:57,683 ♪ I'm high as a kite I just might ♪ 28 00:04:57,716 --> 00:04:59,818 ♪ Stop to check you out ♪ 29 00:04:59,852 --> 00:05:02,421 - ♪ Let me go on ♪ - Matt! 30 00:05:02,454 --> 00:05:05,291 - ♪ Like a blister in the sun ♪ - Breakfast! 31 00:05:05,391 --> 00:05:06,659 Matt! 32 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,128 - ♪ Big hands, I know... ♪ - Where's the breakfast? 33 00:05:11,764 --> 00:05:13,732 Come on, I'm starving. 34 00:05:13,766 --> 00:05:15,166 ♪ Body and beats, I stain my sheets ♪ 35 00:05:15,199 --> 00:05:17,570 ♪ I don't even know why ♪ 36 00:05:17,703 --> 00:05:20,306 ♪ My girlfriend, She's at the end ♪ 37 00:05:20,339 --> 00:05:22,374 ♪ She is starting to cry ♪ 38 00:05:22,408 --> 00:05:24,843 ♪ Let me go on ♪ 39 00:05:24,877 --> 00:05:27,546 ♪ Like a blister in the sun ♪ 40 00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:30,148 ♪ Let me go on ♪ 41 00:05:30,549 --> 00:05:33,419 ♪ Big hands, I know you're the one ♪ 42 00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:35,721 And the winning numbers from last night 43 00:05:35,754 --> 00:05:39,157 were 17, 35, 23, 44 00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:42,561 14, 6, and 31. That's 17... 45 00:05:42,595 --> 00:05:45,664 I don't believe it. Not a single number. 46 00:05:45,698 --> 00:05:47,433 You've more chance of getting hit by lightning. 47 00:05:47,566 --> 00:05:49,768 Enough of your negative vibes. 48 00:05:59,845 --> 00:06:02,581 - What're you looking at? - I'm going to work. 49 00:06:06,619 --> 00:06:09,488 Look at him! The bleedin' size of your head! 50 00:06:09,521 --> 00:06:11,624 Shut up you two fat-heads. 51 00:06:11,657 --> 00:06:14,125 Who'd you think you're getting smart with?! 52 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,261 Alright, fuck sake... 53 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:19,765 Save your horn for your wife! 54 00:06:20,065 --> 00:06:21,400 What the fuck is wrong with ya, 55 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:23,234 ya bleedin' moron ya! 56 00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:26,572 ♪ Let me go on ♪ 57 00:06:26,905 --> 00:06:29,508 ♪ Like a blister in the sun ♪ 58 00:06:29,541 --> 00:06:32,176 ♪ Let me go on ♪ 59 00:06:32,578 --> 00:06:35,381 ♪ Big hands, I know you're the one ♪ 60 00:06:38,216 --> 00:06:39,918 It's a sunny, bright, 61 00:06:39,952 --> 00:06:42,554 lovely day out there today by the way... 62 00:06:44,690 --> 00:06:47,660 - Deco came by the store again. - Agh! Me finger. 63 00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:50,462 Stay away from him, d'ya hear me? 64 00:06:50,496 --> 00:06:52,264 I can't help it if he shows up. 65 00:06:52,931 --> 00:06:54,633 What're you doing back here? 66 00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:56,502 I'm just sayin' hello to me brother! 67 00:06:57,336 --> 00:07:00,372 You're my best mate. What are ya? 68 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:03,342 - Your best mate. - Best mate. 69 00:07:03,676 --> 00:07:06,912 Matt? Matt! It's for your own good. 70 00:07:07,112 --> 00:07:09,682 Deco is a user, just like your Da. 71 00:07:09,715 --> 00:07:12,284 And don't be listening to his shite. 72 00:07:15,721 --> 00:07:17,956 And if I see him anywhere near here again, 73 00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:19,725 he's as good as dead. 74 00:07:20,859 --> 00:07:22,895 The stress he put me under! 75 00:07:23,062 --> 00:07:25,464 Like why'd you think I can't give these up?! 76 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,968 Here, Ma, I'll put it out. 77 00:07:30,002 --> 00:07:32,371 - You go up and get ready. - You're a good boy. 78 00:07:37,943 --> 00:07:40,479 - Sorry. - What are you doing here, Deco? 79 00:07:40,512 --> 00:07:42,681 - I need to go inside... - You can't, Ma's upstairs! 80 00:07:42,715 --> 00:07:44,817 Think you're a bleedin' bouncer, are ya?! 81 00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:47,886 Skin's burnin' up, it's like bleedin' Ayia Napa. 82 00:07:48,554 --> 00:07:50,422 Just put some factor 50 on. 83 00:07:50,622 --> 00:07:52,491 I'm after hurtin' myself, look. 84 00:07:53,592 --> 00:07:55,260 You came here to show me a hickey? 85 00:07:55,394 --> 00:07:57,262 No! I was at a party 86 00:07:57,296 --> 00:07:59,398 and some bird had a go on me neck. 87 00:07:59,698 --> 00:08:01,567 I've nowhere else to go either. 88 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,535 You know I don't, Matt. 89 00:08:05,504 --> 00:08:07,606 I don't know what to do with meself. 90 00:08:07,639 --> 00:08:09,608 - You can't come in. - For fuck's sake, 91 00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:11,643 will you just let us in the poxy door! 92 00:08:11,677 --> 00:08:12,845 Why you getting angry for? 93 00:08:12,878 --> 00:08:14,613 You're not coming in, alright? 94 00:08:16,381 --> 00:08:18,784 You owe me, or have you forgotten? 95 00:08:23,522 --> 00:08:26,024 Okay, just for a minute. Stay quiet. 96 00:08:26,859 --> 00:08:29,294 Well are you inviting me in or what? 97 00:08:30,395 --> 00:08:31,930 Yeah, come in. 98 00:08:32,264 --> 00:08:34,900 Ah, you're me best mate. What are ya? 99 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,369 - Your best mate. - Best mate. 100 00:08:43,976 --> 00:08:46,011 Jaysus there's a bleedin' smell in here. 101 00:08:46,145 --> 00:08:48,447 That's just the garlic fries from last night. 102 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,816 - Get them away from me! - Relax! 103 00:08:50,849 --> 00:08:53,318 Said you wanted to wash yourself, there's the sink. 104 00:08:54,386 --> 00:08:55,621 Ah! 105 00:08:55,788 --> 00:08:57,356 Ah! 106 00:08:57,556 --> 00:08:58,857 What are you doing?! 107 00:08:58,891 --> 00:09:00,859 You don't believe me, do ya? 108 00:09:05,597 --> 00:09:06,932 Agh! 109 00:09:09,434 --> 00:09:10,836 Agh! 110 00:09:11,703 --> 00:09:14,840 Agh, It must be that bite I'm after gettin'! 111 00:09:15,374 --> 00:09:17,643 So what exactly happened last night? 112 00:09:17,676 --> 00:09:19,111 I was at a club with the lads, 113 00:09:19,144 --> 00:09:22,614 the place was bleedin' buzzin' it was. 114 00:09:23,081 --> 00:09:25,851 That's a bleedin' banger that is, what? 115 00:09:26,552 --> 00:09:28,987 How's it going bud, y'all right? 116 00:09:29,855 --> 00:09:30,989 Fuck off, so. 117 00:09:31,023 --> 00:09:33,358 So I went to the jacks after holding down 118 00:09:33,392 --> 00:09:34,860 the dance floor for about an hour, 119 00:09:34,893 --> 00:09:37,396 then this young wan appears out of nowhere. 120 00:09:37,429 --> 00:09:41,033 Now you are definitely my type! 121 00:09:41,366 --> 00:09:44,603 Ah look, here comes the bride! 122 00:09:47,506 --> 00:09:49,675 I think you're in the wrong toilets, love. 123 00:09:49,942 --> 00:09:51,844 Oh, very easy now... 124 00:09:57,115 --> 00:09:58,884 There's someone in here! 125 00:10:00,919 --> 00:10:02,788 Nearly bled me dry! 126 00:10:02,988 --> 00:10:06,391 Next thing I remember, I woke up on the green. 127 00:10:06,892 --> 00:10:08,994 - What about your girlfriend? - Okay Matt, 128 00:10:09,027 --> 00:10:10,696 I'm going to head off. 129 00:10:13,532 --> 00:10:15,167 - Have you got your lunch? - Yeah. 130 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,903 Well go on, get a move on, you don't want to be late. 131 00:10:17,936 --> 00:10:20,505 You'll end up like that good for nothing brother of yours. 132 00:10:20,539 --> 00:10:22,608 Here, do you know where the plasters are? 133 00:10:22,641 --> 00:10:23,876 They should be in the top drawer there. 134 00:10:23,909 --> 00:10:26,478 They're not in the top drawer, I left them over here somewhere. 135 00:10:26,511 --> 00:10:28,847 Took a lump out of that finger, I'm tellin' ya that now. 136 00:10:28,881 --> 00:10:31,817 - What's that smell of smoke? - It's probably your smokes. 137 00:10:31,850 --> 00:10:33,018 Sayin' there's a smell of smoke off me, 138 00:10:33,051 --> 00:10:33,919 bleedin' cheek of ya. 139 00:10:33,952 --> 00:10:36,154 Right, I'm gonna go to work now, okay? 140 00:10:36,188 --> 00:10:37,823 The penguin bars are in the press, 141 00:10:37,856 --> 00:10:39,591 now help yourself, love. 142 00:10:40,926 --> 00:10:42,494 Shut up! 143 00:10:43,462 --> 00:10:45,797 I forgot. They're in the bottom of the fridge. 144 00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:48,400 - Left them there last night. - Okay, see ya, Ma. 145 00:10:49,668 --> 00:10:50,836 Shut up! 146 00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:56,441 My hand's near gone on fire! 147 00:10:56,575 --> 00:10:58,510 How'd ya explain that?! 148 00:11:02,781 --> 00:11:04,950 Wait a second, you've been bitten on the neck, 149 00:11:04,983 --> 00:11:06,551 you're allergic to sunlight... 150 00:11:06,585 --> 00:11:08,553 Agh! Fuck off! 151 00:11:10,689 --> 00:11:12,658 And you don't like the garlic fries... 152 00:11:16,161 --> 00:11:17,562 You know what this sounds like? 153 00:11:17,596 --> 00:11:19,498 I'm not getting enough Vitamin D. 154 00:11:19,531 --> 00:11:21,066 - Yeah, I need to take... - No, no, no, 155 00:11:21,099 --> 00:11:22,501 I think you're turning into... 156 00:11:25,771 --> 00:11:27,572 That's my only clean shirt! 157 00:11:27,606 --> 00:11:28,941 Oh, sorry buddy, I... 158 00:11:34,913 --> 00:11:36,682 Deco, what are ya like? 159 00:11:37,616 --> 00:11:39,217 Fuck off! 160 00:11:41,687 --> 00:11:43,188 Deco, put two and two together. 161 00:11:43,389 --> 00:11:46,558 - Eh, four. - No, you're a vampire! 162 00:11:46,658 --> 00:11:47,793 A what?! 163 00:11:47,826 --> 00:11:49,194 A fuckin' vampire! 164 00:11:49,227 --> 00:11:51,029 What are you insinuating?! 165 00:11:53,932 --> 00:11:55,734 Look at yourself in the mirror! 166 00:11:58,170 --> 00:11:59,638 D'ya see what I mean?! 167 00:12:01,673 --> 00:12:03,608 No, that mirror's broke! 168 00:12:03,642 --> 00:12:05,777 There's nothing wrong with that mirror! 169 00:12:07,946 --> 00:12:09,614 Oh, bollocks! 170 00:12:10,182 --> 00:12:11,883 You can't stay here now. 171 00:12:11,917 --> 00:12:13,185 Put your hood up and get out. 172 00:12:13,218 --> 00:12:15,254 Ah Jesus, where'll I go?! 173 00:12:15,288 --> 00:12:17,155 Go up the country or somethin'! 174 00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:18,757 What, and stay with the culchies?! 175 00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:20,759 I'd rather be fuckin' dead! 176 00:12:20,792 --> 00:12:22,794 Deco you are dead! 177 00:12:23,195 --> 00:12:26,765 - I'm your own flesh and blood. - And it's all over me! 178 00:12:27,232 --> 00:12:29,568 We go upstairs and play Desert Strike? 179 00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:32,170 I don't even have that game, you took that game off me! 180 00:12:32,271 --> 00:12:34,773 - Fuckin' rob ya that game! - No, no. 181 00:12:35,607 --> 00:12:37,109 No, get out, Deco. 182 00:12:37,343 --> 00:12:39,111 What do you want me to do? 183 00:12:39,144 --> 00:12:40,979 Kiss your bleedin' feet?! 184 00:12:41,347 --> 00:12:43,615 I'm beggin' ya man, please! 185 00:12:44,149 --> 00:12:46,252 I'll burst into dust out there. 186 00:12:46,419 --> 00:12:48,854 I'm a vampire for fuck's sake. 187 00:12:54,059 --> 00:12:56,695 Alright, alright. 188 00:12:57,095 --> 00:12:58,264 I'll text in sick. 189 00:13:05,137 --> 00:13:07,539 Jaysus, what's gonna happen me? 190 00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:43,175 Henry, I've just spotted another one 191 00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:45,243 of those bleedin' vampires. 192 00:13:47,779 --> 00:13:48,814 I'm on the way. 193 00:14:08,434 --> 00:14:10,035 It's fuckin' Natalie! 194 00:14:10,068 --> 00:14:13,105 If she finds out I'm a vampire, I'll get dumped! 195 00:14:13,138 --> 00:14:14,773 Didn't think you cared that much about her. 196 00:14:14,806 --> 00:14:16,842 No, she's my everything, she is. 197 00:14:16,875 --> 00:14:18,377 I'll have to lay low for a while. 198 00:14:18,411 --> 00:14:21,947 Let it clear itself up, like when I had herpes. 199 00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:23,982 She's put up with a lot of crap. 200 00:14:24,082 --> 00:14:25,984 - This could be the last straw. - What?! 201 00:14:26,685 --> 00:14:27,919 Do you love her? 202 00:14:27,953 --> 00:14:29,955 Do I love her?! 203 00:14:30,423 --> 00:14:32,258 Love her, he says. 204 00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:41,267 You have fifteen messages in your inbox. 205 00:14:44,069 --> 00:14:45,871 Deco, where'd you end up last night?! 206 00:14:45,904 --> 00:14:47,806 I wore me nice knickers and everything for ya, 207 00:14:47,839 --> 00:14:48,907 ya little fool. 208 00:14:48,940 --> 00:14:50,041 Here, will you call me back when you get this, 209 00:14:50,075 --> 00:14:51,076 I wanna see if you're alright, I wanna make sure 210 00:14:51,109 --> 00:14:53,678 you're not in a bleedin' dumpster somewhere. 211 00:14:53,712 --> 00:14:56,315 You better call me back or I'm gonna box the head off ya! 212 00:14:56,349 --> 00:14:58,284 I don't know what came over me, obviously I'm just a little bit 213 00:14:58,317 --> 00:14:59,151 worried about ya. 214 00:14:59,184 --> 00:15:00,419 Right, I love ya, 215 00:15:00,453 --> 00:15:02,355 you're not going to get into trouble, just, just ring me. 216 00:15:02,388 --> 00:15:04,022 If I find out you're cheating on me, 217 00:15:04,055 --> 00:15:05,358 I'm gonna kill ya, d'ya hear me?! 218 00:15:05,391 --> 00:15:08,059 Every member of my family is gonna be after you! 219 00:15:08,093 --> 00:15:10,263 Go and fuck yourself! 220 00:15:10,829 --> 00:15:14,166 Call me back. Right, I love ya. 221 00:15:15,934 --> 00:15:18,803 Jaysus. I couldn't think of anything worse 222 00:15:18,837 --> 00:15:20,306 than being a vampire. 223 00:15:20,339 --> 00:15:22,308 What's gonna happen when word gets around 224 00:15:22,341 --> 00:15:24,943 and people start avoiding me like the plague? 225 00:15:24,976 --> 00:15:27,145 Deco. People do that anyway. 226 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,182 Look on the bright side, you get to sleep in all day, 227 00:15:30,215 --> 00:15:31,983 you might be able to claim a disability. 228 00:15:32,017 --> 00:15:33,352 If I can't go out during the day, 229 00:15:33,386 --> 00:15:35,488 how am I gonna sign on, ye thick?! 230 00:15:35,521 --> 00:15:36,455 What you want me to do? 231 00:15:36,489 --> 00:15:39,191 Go out and skip with the bleedin' bunnies?! 232 00:15:50,469 --> 00:15:52,771 Does Ma ever ask about me? 233 00:15:53,004 --> 00:15:55,807 Or does she just pretend I don't even exist? 234 00:16:01,514 --> 00:16:02,981 I think she misses ya. 235 00:16:03,014 --> 00:16:05,418 Yeah, like the desert misses the rain. 236 00:16:10,121 --> 00:16:12,258 - Super powers! - What are you smokin'?! 237 00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:14,427 Vampires have super powers! 238 00:16:14,826 --> 00:16:17,062 Turn into a bat and fly around! 239 00:16:17,162 --> 00:16:18,763 Ah, I don't know. 240 00:16:18,964 --> 00:16:21,032 - Just try it, try it. - Alright! 241 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,001 Jaysus. 242 00:16:23,469 --> 00:16:24,836 Eh... 243 00:16:29,874 --> 00:16:31,977 - Jaysus! - You are filthy. 244 00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:33,778 Sorry about that. 245 00:16:35,046 --> 00:16:36,748 I think you need to see a doctor. 246 00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:40,018 Ah no, I'm just eating loads of eggs. 247 00:16:40,051 --> 00:16:41,953 I'm on this protein plan where I have... 248 00:16:41,987 --> 00:16:44,889 No, Deco! For the vampire thing. 249 00:16:46,459 --> 00:16:49,160 Number one for all the hits. 250 00:16:49,262 --> 00:16:50,996 Something new is coming to Dublin, 251 00:16:51,029 --> 00:16:53,532 get on down to The Crypt Club, opening tonight, 252 00:16:53,566 --> 00:16:56,335 23 Kilbride Street, with special drinks promotions 253 00:16:56,369 --> 00:17:00,005 before midnight. The Crypt Club, where the party never stops. 254 00:17:10,115 --> 00:17:11,517 Agh! 255 00:17:16,355 --> 00:17:17,822 Sound. 256 00:17:33,104 --> 00:17:34,540 No way! 257 00:18:12,578 --> 00:18:16,247 D-Doc, doctor on call, anytime, anywhere. 258 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:37,135 - What're you doing, Deco?! - Any chance of a bit of blood? 259 00:18:37,168 --> 00:18:39,605 - Ah here, no. - Just a tiny bit, come on. 260 00:18:42,073 --> 00:18:44,377 Come on, I'll only have a sip. 261 00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:46,679 - No, I'm trying to help you! - Come to your brother. 262 00:18:46,712 --> 00:18:48,547 Get away from me! 263 00:18:48,581 --> 00:18:49,981 No, fuck off! 264 00:18:53,151 --> 00:18:55,053 Alright, alright, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 265 00:18:55,086 --> 00:18:56,921 I'll call the doctor and we'll figure this out. 266 00:18:57,188 --> 00:18:59,991 - Stay away from me neck! - Jesus, you're a lifesaver. 267 00:19:00,892 --> 00:19:03,629 - Don't make me do it again. - Alright, I'm sorry. 268 00:19:04,963 --> 00:19:07,299 I'll just go down and wait downstairs. 269 00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:08,567 Yeah. 270 00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:10,935 You don't think I've a bit of a lisp with these, do ya? 271 00:19:10,969 --> 00:19:12,137 Yeah, it's very noticeable. 272 00:19:12,170 --> 00:19:14,273 - Ah, fuck. - Close the door! 273 00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:21,414 Hello? 274 00:19:23,081 --> 00:19:25,551 I need a doctor, ASAP. 275 00:19:44,035 --> 00:19:45,404 Where's the patient? 276 00:19:46,672 --> 00:19:48,641 This way, thanks for coming. 277 00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:51,042 Just in there. 278 00:19:52,745 --> 00:19:55,648 This is Deco. He was bitten on the neck. 279 00:19:55,915 --> 00:19:57,416 We think he's a vampire. 280 00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,217 Google it, did ya? 281 00:19:59,318 --> 00:20:01,520 Everyone's a bloody expert these days. 282 00:20:05,724 --> 00:20:07,560 Don't eat him. 283 00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:08,561 Right. 284 00:20:08,594 --> 00:20:11,397 Right. A little privacy if you don't mind. 285 00:20:11,764 --> 00:20:13,666 Doctor-patient confidentiality. 286 00:20:13,699 --> 00:20:15,267 Yeah, okay. 287 00:20:22,608 --> 00:20:23,609 Ow! 288 00:20:24,008 --> 00:20:25,544 Bloody door. 289 00:20:32,351 --> 00:20:35,521 Just ah, open your mouth and say, 'ah.' 290 00:20:39,758 --> 00:20:40,992 Ah. 291 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,642 Hey spud, who'd you murder? 292 00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:01,313 Just pickin' me nose earlier. 293 00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:03,147 Gave meself a nosebleed. 294 00:21:03,482 --> 00:21:05,718 What would you... what would you drink on average? 295 00:21:05,751 --> 00:21:08,654 Ah, just a pint or two at the weekends, you know yourself. 296 00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:10,623 Ah well, we'll let you away with that. 297 00:21:10,723 --> 00:21:13,425 - Are you on any medications? - No. 298 00:21:13,726 --> 00:21:15,159 Just methadone... 299 00:21:15,628 --> 00:21:17,128 and Nembutal, 300 00:21:17,161 --> 00:21:19,598 Tuinal, Valium, Librium, 301 00:21:19,632 --> 00:21:21,600 and cod liver oil. 302 00:21:23,435 --> 00:21:25,538 Right, now, eh... 303 00:21:25,571 --> 00:21:29,275 Zip the top down and lie back, we're gonna check your heart. 304 00:21:35,146 --> 00:21:36,582 Yeah. 305 00:21:36,882 --> 00:21:39,050 Relax, close your eyes. 306 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,488 Now, 307 00:21:43,221 --> 00:21:46,157 keep your eyes closed, I want you to 308 00:21:46,190 --> 00:21:48,594 take in a deep breath and hold. 309 00:21:50,128 --> 00:21:53,164 Deco isn't back here, is he? He still owes me money. 310 00:21:53,197 --> 00:21:55,434 No, Deco hasn't been back in years. 311 00:21:55,701 --> 00:21:57,636 I can smell a lie. 312 00:21:59,471 --> 00:22:00,339 I'll keep watch. 313 00:22:00,372 --> 00:22:02,641 I might have left my dark days behind, 314 00:22:02,675 --> 00:22:04,376 but if I find out Deco's back, 315 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,345 I'll be over there to break up the party 316 00:22:06,378 --> 00:22:09,213 and stick his fucking head in the oven. 317 00:22:10,349 --> 00:22:11,750 Have a good day. 318 00:22:32,170 --> 00:22:33,171 Agh! 319 00:22:37,576 --> 00:22:39,445 You nearly got me in the heart! 320 00:22:50,789 --> 00:22:53,157 Right, straighten ya. 321 00:22:55,260 --> 00:22:56,562 Come on ye bollocks! 322 00:22:56,729 --> 00:22:58,464 The bleedin' strength of ya! 323 00:23:06,705 --> 00:23:07,773 Deco, get off him! 324 00:23:23,355 --> 00:23:24,456 Deco! 325 00:23:37,903 --> 00:23:39,605 Oh, bollocks! 326 00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:43,275 Alright? Can I get the spare key, 327 00:23:43,308 --> 00:23:46,278 - I'm after locking myself out. - Yeah, come in. Moron. 328 00:24:01,894 --> 00:24:03,162 And this is Adrian Kennedy here 329 00:24:03,194 --> 00:24:07,466 and we're talking about people who suck the life out of us. 330 00:24:07,499 --> 00:24:11,303 Just take, take, take and never give anything back in return. 331 00:24:11,336 --> 00:24:12,404 Do you hear that rubbish? 332 00:24:12,438 --> 00:24:14,238 The real bloodsuckers are the people in charge. 333 00:24:14,273 --> 00:24:16,909 - Frank, the key? - The key is money. 334 00:24:16,942 --> 00:24:19,578 Now, between you and me I might have a few nixers 335 00:24:19,611 --> 00:24:23,282 - on the side if you're... - No, that key. Can I have it? 336 00:24:23,716 --> 00:24:25,317 Oh, the key, yeah. 337 00:24:25,984 --> 00:24:27,820 Now bring it straight back, yeah? 338 00:24:29,021 --> 00:24:30,556 Little fucker. 339 00:24:36,395 --> 00:24:37,496 Come on out! 340 00:24:37,529 --> 00:24:38,731 Why?! 341 00:24:38,831 --> 00:24:40,399 So I can stake you. 342 00:24:40,699 --> 00:24:42,334 Fuck off! 343 00:24:43,368 --> 00:24:44,536 Hey! 344 00:24:45,003 --> 00:24:46,472 Stay out of it! 345 00:24:46,505 --> 00:24:47,906 I don't want to hurt you... 346 00:24:48,807 --> 00:24:50,342 anymore. 347 00:24:59,852 --> 00:25:01,386 Nice one! 348 00:25:43,362 --> 00:25:44,630 Ragh! 349 00:25:45,097 --> 00:25:46,498 Oh. 350 00:25:49,535 --> 00:25:50,702 Agh! 351 00:25:52,137 --> 00:25:53,505 Agh! 352 00:26:12,991 --> 00:26:14,626 What'll we do with him? 353 00:26:47,826 --> 00:26:51,363 - Henry Montgomery. - He's a fuckin' Brit! 354 00:26:51,563 --> 00:26:54,600 I knew it! That dodgy Irish accent. 355 00:26:54,633 --> 00:26:56,435 Why you trying to kill me brother? 356 00:26:56,468 --> 00:26:58,036 And why'd you have a photo of the woman 357 00:26:58,070 --> 00:26:59,905 who bit me in the neck? 358 00:27:01,039 --> 00:27:04,610 Speak or I'll put that nose into the back of your head! 359 00:27:12,017 --> 00:27:13,819 - Aw, you... - Sorry! 360 00:27:13,852 --> 00:27:16,922 - That's fuckin' payback, you. - You heal. 361 00:27:16,955 --> 00:27:18,624 Why you trying to kill him? 362 00:27:18,657 --> 00:27:20,826 Because he's a vampire, you eejit. 363 00:27:20,859 --> 00:27:24,396 And the woman who bit you is my fiancée, Sheila. 364 00:27:25,530 --> 00:27:27,466 Yeah well, it's a free country, 365 00:27:27,499 --> 00:27:30,102 - she can do what she wants! - She was a vampire. 366 00:27:30,202 --> 00:27:32,571 And you are cause you got bitten by her! 367 00:27:32,604 --> 00:27:33,672 Hang on, 368 00:27:33,705 --> 00:27:35,474 I thought you said the woman you were with last night 369 00:27:35,507 --> 00:27:36,909 was a young wan? 370 00:27:37,542 --> 00:27:40,178 - I said... - Chasing grannies now, are we? 371 00:27:40,212 --> 00:27:41,713 You absolute dirt bag! 372 00:27:41,747 --> 00:27:43,548 I'll bleedin' brain you in a minute. 373 00:27:43,582 --> 00:27:45,751 Alright cougar catcher, relax horny. 374 00:27:45,784 --> 00:27:47,786 Watch your fuckin' mouth! 375 00:27:48,420 --> 00:27:51,056 Are you not a bit long in the tooth to be getting hitched? 376 00:27:51,089 --> 00:27:53,058 I'd given up years ago. 377 00:27:53,326 --> 00:27:55,494 Then I met my Sheila. 378 00:27:56,028 --> 00:27:57,496 I mean, we have our ups and downs, 379 00:27:57,529 --> 00:27:59,898 but we decided to get married. 380 00:28:00,933 --> 00:28:03,735 I had my stag do, 381 00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:06,772 we took an old Victorian Rail line 382 00:28:06,805 --> 00:28:08,607 through Snowdonia, 383 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,877 because I'm a member of the Welsh Highland Rail Society. 384 00:28:12,110 --> 00:28:15,247 And the Welsh Highland Heritage, 385 00:28:15,281 --> 00:28:18,717 as well as the Branch Line Society. 386 00:28:18,817 --> 00:28:21,753 I love it, steam engines, it's great. 387 00:28:21,787 --> 00:28:23,622 Old, old world. 388 00:28:23,655 --> 00:28:26,458 Where was the hen party, Transylvania? 389 00:28:26,758 --> 00:28:29,227 It was, there was a deal on flights to Bucharest. 390 00:28:30,562 --> 00:28:31,663 That's fair. 391 00:28:40,605 --> 00:28:42,207 When Sheila came back to Dublin, 392 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,242 the woman I loved was gone. 393 00:28:44,277 --> 00:28:46,078 There was nothing of her left. 394 00:28:47,746 --> 00:28:50,582 Except for the drinking and the... infidelity. 395 00:28:55,921 --> 00:28:57,889 Then after that, she... 396 00:28:58,223 --> 00:29:00,192 She was out jumping from Billy to Jack 397 00:29:00,225 --> 00:29:03,128 leaving a trail of vampires around Dublin and I was... 398 00:29:03,161 --> 00:29:05,264 having to pick up after her. 399 00:29:05,797 --> 00:29:08,533 It was my civic responsibility, I felt. 400 00:29:08,567 --> 00:29:10,035 You sure you're not just a bit 401 00:29:10,068 --> 00:29:14,039 jealous that a bleedin' hunk from Dublin took your missus? 402 00:29:14,940 --> 00:29:18,143 No, it's definitely for the good of the city. 403 00:29:19,111 --> 00:29:23,582 I drive a taxi around Dublin and I've seen all sorts. 404 00:29:24,216 --> 00:29:26,151 But this is something new. 405 00:29:31,890 --> 00:29:34,793 Sheila and those hens are out there every night, 406 00:29:34,826 --> 00:29:37,162 the vampire population is rising. 407 00:29:37,263 --> 00:29:38,597 Oh. 408 00:29:39,097 --> 00:29:42,034 Anyone in Dublin could be their next victim. 409 00:29:42,067 --> 00:29:43,869 But not if I get there first. 410 00:29:47,239 --> 00:29:49,574 Can we get a move on, Speedy Gonzalez?! 411 00:29:49,608 --> 00:29:52,811 - We've a party to go to! - Sorry, Liz! 412 00:30:14,300 --> 00:30:15,667 You, out! 413 00:30:17,869 --> 00:30:19,237 Fuckin' clown, you. 414 00:30:21,073 --> 00:30:23,909 The other taxi drivers are my eyes and ears 415 00:30:23,942 --> 00:30:25,344 around the city. 416 00:30:25,378 --> 00:30:26,211 Okay, right, 417 00:30:26,244 --> 00:30:27,413 I'm gonna try Glasnevin, 418 00:30:27,447 --> 00:30:29,948 might be a few of them bozos hanging around the cemetery. 419 00:30:29,981 --> 00:30:31,650 Roger that, over and out. 420 00:30:31,883 --> 00:30:34,387 I had a tip off from another driver about him. 421 00:30:34,420 --> 00:30:36,121 Henry, I've just spotted another one of those 422 00:30:36,154 --> 00:30:37,689 bleedin' vampires. 423 00:30:37,789 --> 00:30:40,158 I was waiting for an opportunity. 424 00:30:40,659 --> 00:30:43,061 And then I saw a doctor arriving. 425 00:30:44,330 --> 00:30:45,864 - Hey! - What...?! 426 00:30:52,271 --> 00:30:53,238 Sorry about that. 427 00:30:57,742 --> 00:31:00,245 Once he's bitten his first victim, he will be hooked. 428 00:31:00,279 --> 00:31:01,713 It's just a matter of time, 429 00:31:01,746 --> 00:31:04,683 that's why you have to die pal, simple as. 430 00:31:04,716 --> 00:31:07,286 No, no, I'm not going to bite anyone, Matt. 431 00:31:07,553 --> 00:31:11,290 If I had a pound for every time I've heard a vampire say that. 432 00:31:11,823 --> 00:31:14,293 He's trying to turn you, that's it. 433 00:31:14,327 --> 00:31:15,694 Don't listen to him! 434 00:31:15,727 --> 00:31:18,029 He's talking out his old arse! 435 00:31:20,098 --> 00:31:21,900 You did try and bite me earlier. 436 00:31:21,933 --> 00:31:23,835 And he will again, and again and again 437 00:31:23,869 --> 00:31:25,871 and again until he does. 438 00:31:26,138 --> 00:31:28,874 His blood lust will only grow. 439 00:31:29,107 --> 00:31:31,877 Henry shut up you, or I'll beat the head off you! 440 00:31:31,910 --> 00:31:32,944 Oh, is that what you want? 441 00:31:32,978 --> 00:31:34,146 You want a taste from the carotid, 442 00:31:34,179 --> 00:31:37,249 or, or, or, would he prefer the vertebral? 443 00:31:37,283 --> 00:31:39,452 - Deco, get away from him! - Yeah, Deco! 444 00:31:39,485 --> 00:31:42,687 - You shut up as well! - Ha, you're laughed at. 445 00:31:42,721 --> 00:31:44,357 - Such an eejit. - Who's an eejit? 446 00:31:44,390 --> 00:31:45,458 - He is. - Who is? 447 00:31:45,491 --> 00:31:46,825 - You are! - I am? 448 00:31:46,858 --> 00:31:48,361 - You are. - I am? 449 00:31:48,394 --> 00:31:49,295 He is? 450 00:31:49,328 --> 00:31:51,062 The problem is you. 451 00:31:51,696 --> 00:31:53,899 You're the one who let him in. 452 00:31:54,132 --> 00:31:56,768 You're the one indulging him. 453 00:31:57,102 --> 00:31:59,738 You're the one who can't say no. 454 00:32:00,105 --> 00:32:01,474 What are you getting from this? 455 00:32:01,507 --> 00:32:03,309 Does it make you feel better to help him? 456 00:32:03,342 --> 00:32:05,177 What if he doesn't drain someone, 457 00:32:05,210 --> 00:32:07,446 - he could turn back human again? - No. 458 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,948 They all bite someone sooner or later, 459 00:32:09,981 --> 00:32:11,450 just stake him now. 460 00:32:11,484 --> 00:32:13,386 Look, I'll just go cold turkey, 461 00:32:13,419 --> 00:32:16,087 I've done it before, and I'll do it again. 462 00:32:16,121 --> 00:32:18,391 Look, I know this is hard but it has to be done. 463 00:32:18,424 --> 00:32:19,925 If we don't nip this in the bud 464 00:32:19,958 --> 00:32:22,160 then the whole city will be overrun 465 00:32:22,194 --> 00:32:24,397 with these blood-sucking sods! 466 00:32:34,172 --> 00:32:35,341 Where's Henry? 467 00:32:35,374 --> 00:32:37,876 Look, I don't know where Henry is. 468 00:32:38,444 --> 00:32:40,879 That's what your last friend said. 469 00:32:43,949 --> 00:32:45,150 Mago! 470 00:32:45,817 --> 00:32:46,818 Oh... 471 00:32:54,793 --> 00:32:56,529 Love a bit of Dublin blood. 472 00:32:56,562 --> 00:32:59,432 Now, we're opening up this club tonight 473 00:32:59,465 --> 00:33:02,301 and I don't want Henry coming over and spoiling it. 474 00:33:02,335 --> 00:33:05,103 I told him it's over. 475 00:33:05,136 --> 00:33:07,138 But he keeps stalking me. 476 00:33:07,172 --> 00:33:10,543 I swear to God, I don't know where he is! 477 00:33:10,576 --> 00:33:12,278 I've no problem with your kind! 478 00:33:12,311 --> 00:33:14,846 If you want to lure innocent people into a club, 479 00:33:14,879 --> 00:33:17,882 and turn them into vampires, that's your own business. 480 00:33:17,916 --> 00:33:19,318 Each to their own, that's what I say, 481 00:33:19,352 --> 00:33:20,986 each to your own. 482 00:33:21,019 --> 00:33:24,089 Yeah? It's Henry that has the problem. 483 00:33:24,122 --> 00:33:25,757 Not me. 484 00:33:25,991 --> 00:33:28,927 He won't rest until he ruins your plans 485 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,129 and turns you all into a bag of ashes! 486 00:33:31,162 --> 00:33:33,031 That's all he talks about. 487 00:33:33,064 --> 00:33:33,898 That! 488 00:33:33,932 --> 00:33:36,335 And... trains. 489 00:33:37,603 --> 00:33:40,005 He's mad for the trains, he is. 490 00:33:40,038 --> 00:33:43,276 Well, he is a member of the Welsh Highway Rail Society. 491 00:33:43,309 --> 00:33:45,411 And the Branch Line Society. 492 00:33:46,911 --> 00:33:49,014 What's a branch line society?! 493 00:33:49,147 --> 00:33:51,082 He shows off his card at the rank. 494 00:33:51,116 --> 00:33:53,084 Trains. That's it. 495 00:33:53,118 --> 00:33:55,354 Trains. We'll say cuckoo for choo-choos! 496 00:33:55,388 --> 00:33:57,222 Follow me. 497 00:33:57,256 --> 00:33:58,923 Hey-hey-hey-hey! 498 00:34:00,125 --> 00:34:02,361 Can I... can I head on now? 499 00:34:02,861 --> 00:34:06,097 Don't drain him dry! We need to build up our numbers. 500 00:34:06,131 --> 00:34:08,066 No! No! No! 501 00:34:08,099 --> 00:34:11,002 Amanda, wait 'til you see this. 502 00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:15,206 Him and his fuckin' trains. 503 00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:17,610 - Aw, stop the lights. - Look at that! 504 00:34:17,643 --> 00:34:19,844 He got me that for me hens weekend, 505 00:34:19,878 --> 00:34:23,114 - keep me warm. - State of it. 506 00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:24,517 Aw. 507 00:34:26,385 --> 00:34:29,187 Here, you can track his scent from that. 508 00:34:29,220 --> 00:34:32,525 - Ooh, we'll get him with this. - And after the club tonight, 509 00:34:32,558 --> 00:34:36,127 we'll have enough vampires to take over this city. 510 00:34:36,161 --> 00:34:37,630 Nice one. 511 00:34:37,663 --> 00:34:39,864 Choo-choo! 512 00:35:06,258 --> 00:35:08,561 Don't worry Deco, I'm not going to kill you. 513 00:35:08,594 --> 00:35:11,364 I'm going to help you, this is for your own good. 514 00:35:11,464 --> 00:35:13,265 Yeah, I know. 515 00:35:13,898 --> 00:35:16,234 Just have to be ready for when the cravings kick in. 516 00:35:16,268 --> 00:35:19,104 Look, I have all of this under control. 517 00:35:19,137 --> 00:35:22,475 Alright? But if it gives you peace of mind to tie me up, 518 00:35:22,508 --> 00:35:24,577 suppose I'm happy to do it for you. 519 00:35:30,148 --> 00:35:31,550 Fuck! 520 00:35:31,684 --> 00:35:35,287 Get me out of these ropes, I'm fucking parched! 521 00:35:36,522 --> 00:35:38,957 Please! Just a drop! 522 00:35:38,990 --> 00:35:40,526 That's all I'm asking! 523 00:35:40,559 --> 00:35:43,094 Sure I'm tied up, I can't do anything, 524 00:35:43,128 --> 00:35:45,063 just drop it on me tongue! 525 00:35:45,364 --> 00:35:47,366 Just put it there, look! 526 00:35:47,733 --> 00:35:49,602 What's a bit of blood between brothers? 527 00:35:49,635 --> 00:35:51,570 Look, you owe it to me! 528 00:35:52,971 --> 00:35:54,973 The big guilty look on ya! 529 00:35:58,042 --> 00:35:59,412 He's lying! 530 00:35:59,845 --> 00:36:02,281 What are ya looking at him for?! 531 00:36:02,581 --> 00:36:04,417 Ugh, for...! 532 00:36:06,619 --> 00:36:10,021 What are you doing tapping away with that fucking finger?! 533 00:36:10,054 --> 00:36:12,157 Lookin' up about vampires. 534 00:36:12,190 --> 00:36:14,527 Trying to see if there's anything I can do to help ya. 535 00:36:14,926 --> 00:36:18,564 "A vampire is usually a suave individual, 536 00:36:19,097 --> 00:36:21,434 in possession of great wealth." 537 00:36:21,467 --> 00:36:25,103 Last time I seen that finger, it was pointed at me. 538 00:36:25,738 --> 00:36:28,441 What started all this fuckin' shite. 539 00:36:28,474 --> 00:36:30,309 If I didn't get kicked out of the gaff, 540 00:36:30,342 --> 00:36:33,712 I'd be out livin' my life, I'd be a... I'd be... 541 00:36:33,746 --> 00:36:36,948 - You'll be what? - I'd be a... pilot! 542 00:36:49,495 --> 00:36:51,330 Matthew... 543 00:36:53,332 --> 00:36:55,133 Matthew... 544 00:36:55,367 --> 00:36:57,636 Listen to your brother, Deco. 545 00:36:59,103 --> 00:37:02,207 Now bring him some blood... 546 00:37:08,581 --> 00:37:10,382 Ignore him. 547 00:37:10,416 --> 00:37:13,319 Go back to your computer. For now... 548 00:37:13,352 --> 00:37:15,387 Matt, we could try something. 549 00:37:15,488 --> 00:37:18,390 We could sort out his fangs, once and for all. 550 00:37:18,424 --> 00:37:21,393 What do you want me to do? Get a set of braces?! 551 00:37:21,427 --> 00:37:22,628 No, get rid of them! 552 00:37:22,661 --> 00:37:24,396 Before, before he bites someone, 553 00:37:24,430 --> 00:37:26,532 well that would... stop the urges, 554 00:37:26,565 --> 00:37:29,768 like, like neutering a cat! 555 00:37:30,168 --> 00:37:32,471 Da left the toolbox under the stairs. 556 00:37:32,571 --> 00:37:34,507 We can get the pliers out of that. 557 00:37:34,907 --> 00:37:37,175 Oh, did he? Oh, good. 558 00:37:37,208 --> 00:37:39,378 Yeah, I'm sorry if I don't jump for fucking joy 559 00:37:39,411 --> 00:37:41,045 at that idea! 560 00:37:42,681 --> 00:37:45,317 Oh you, I'm tellin' ya. 561 00:37:47,686 --> 00:37:51,022 Oh, if I get me hands on ya! 562 00:37:51,624 --> 00:37:53,359 You'll know about... 563 00:38:03,101 --> 00:38:05,236 Come on, Ireland. 564 00:38:05,271 --> 00:38:09,240 David O'Leary is entrusted with taking the penalty. 565 00:38:09,542 --> 00:38:12,278 This kick can decide it all. 566 00:38:13,445 --> 00:38:16,315 The nation holds its breath. 567 00:38:40,138 --> 00:38:42,341 - And the other one. - Wait, wait, wait... 568 00:38:42,374 --> 00:38:45,311 No, no, alright, alright. 569 00:38:45,344 --> 00:38:47,513 Just give us a second pal, just... 570 00:38:56,855 --> 00:38:58,557 Did it stop the cravings? 571 00:38:59,925 --> 00:39:01,627 It didn't work! 572 00:39:05,631 --> 00:39:06,699 Payback. 573 00:39:06,732 --> 00:39:08,767 Aw, you bastard ye! 574 00:39:08,934 --> 00:39:11,270 Wait 'til I get a hold of you, pal! 575 00:39:11,303 --> 00:39:13,405 See your neck, it's first on my list! 576 00:39:13,439 --> 00:39:15,774 Not if I stake you first. 577 00:39:17,710 --> 00:39:19,411 Come on, push yourself over! 578 00:39:19,445 --> 00:39:21,580 I'm trying, you asshole! 579 00:39:21,614 --> 00:39:24,883 You can't even get over a step, no wonder Sheila left you! 580 00:39:26,184 --> 00:39:27,753 - I'll break your nose! - Shut up! 581 00:39:28,087 --> 00:39:30,689 I was reading up on that website about vampires. 582 00:39:30,723 --> 00:39:33,726 Vampires can drink any blood. That means animals, too. 583 00:39:33,759 --> 00:39:36,662 Any blood will do, I'm not very peculiar about it. 584 00:39:36,695 --> 00:39:39,898 Don't give him any blood. Let him waste away. 585 00:39:39,932 --> 00:39:42,401 You shut your mouth, I'm sick of your bright ideas! 586 00:39:42,434 --> 00:39:44,336 What do you want, a dog or a cat? 587 00:39:44,937 --> 00:39:46,805 I've always wanted a cat. 588 00:39:46,839 --> 00:39:48,407 You're not getting a pet here Deco, 589 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:49,808 you're gonna have to bite into it. 590 00:39:49,842 --> 00:39:51,377 Ah, yeah. 591 00:39:51,410 --> 00:39:53,379 Mr McCarthy down the road has a dog. 592 00:39:53,412 --> 00:39:56,247 Ah Jaysus, you couldn't eat a Jack Russell! 593 00:39:56,482 --> 00:39:58,717 Yeah. Too snappy. 594 00:40:00,419 --> 00:40:03,489 I'll think of something. You two behave yourselves. 595 00:40:10,329 --> 00:40:12,564 So where did you plan the honeymoon? 596 00:40:39,024 --> 00:40:40,759 Fuck... 597 00:40:42,928 --> 00:40:43,929 ...and you're very welcome back 598 00:40:43,962 --> 00:40:45,764 and thanks very much indeed for joining us, 599 00:40:45,798 --> 00:40:47,466 and if you were listening earlier, 600 00:40:47,499 --> 00:40:49,435 we've been talking about bloodsuckers, 601 00:40:49,468 --> 00:40:52,538 and Rob brought up the topic of vampires, 602 00:40:52,571 --> 00:40:54,506 now we'll go to line one, how are ya, Rob? 603 00:40:54,540 --> 00:40:57,409 Yeah, I just want to say I'm after waking up there 604 00:40:57,443 --> 00:40:59,845 this morning with a puncture in me neck... 605 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,384 ...those vampires are coming over here, all over... 606 00:41:08,420 --> 00:41:09,788 Now... 607 00:41:12,357 --> 00:41:13,759 Piss. 608 00:41:15,027 --> 00:41:17,262 I'm horrified by what I'm hearing. 609 00:41:17,296 --> 00:41:19,565 We're just living our lives... 610 00:41:21,333 --> 00:41:23,335 You're only a bloodsucker, yeah?! 611 00:41:23,368 --> 00:41:24,703 Lying in your coffin all day! 612 00:41:24,737 --> 00:41:26,538 You need a dose of reality, pal! 613 00:41:26,572 --> 00:41:29,875 You wait until it get's dark... 614 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,883 Messages coming in and the advice seems to be 615 00:41:37,916 --> 00:41:40,919 don't go near them, steer clear of them. 616 00:41:46,525 --> 00:41:48,927 - Matt?! - ...could not wait. 617 00:41:49,161 --> 00:41:52,030 The second day of our honeymoon was going to be, 618 00:41:52,064 --> 00:41:54,299 we were going to on the Frecciarossa, 619 00:41:54,333 --> 00:41:56,568 the high speed train from Rome to Naples. 620 00:41:56,602 --> 00:41:58,937 It reaches speeds of 220 miles an hour, 621 00:41:58,971 --> 00:42:01,740 with over 72 daily connections, 622 00:42:01,774 --> 00:42:04,376 some of which are non-stop service. 623 00:42:04,743 --> 00:42:06,345 Does that answer your question? 624 00:42:06,378 --> 00:42:09,381 Very much so, thank you very much, Henry. 625 00:42:10,115 --> 00:42:10,949 Kill me now. 626 00:42:10,983 --> 00:42:13,285 I think I have something that might help. 627 00:42:15,687 --> 00:42:18,390 Sorry buddy, it just has to be this way. 628 00:42:22,628 --> 00:42:23,896 G'wan. 629 00:42:24,329 --> 00:42:26,298 Take a swig out of it. 630 00:42:26,999 --> 00:42:28,801 Sure he has no neck on him. 631 00:42:28,834 --> 00:42:30,602 He's no use to me. 632 00:42:30,936 --> 00:42:32,538 You have to try. 633 00:42:36,642 --> 00:42:38,877 Ah, he's too furry. 634 00:42:39,077 --> 00:42:40,779 I could stick a straw in him. 635 00:42:40,813 --> 00:42:43,015 He's a rabbit, not a Capri Sun, Deco. 636 00:42:43,849 --> 00:42:45,083 Try again. 637 00:42:46,451 --> 00:42:47,920 Ah, Jaysus. 638 00:42:49,721 --> 00:42:51,023 Sorry, pal. 639 00:42:53,959 --> 00:42:57,429 - Ah, the little bastard bit me! - Jaysus, I'm not into that! 640 00:42:58,730 --> 00:43:00,699 Tastes like bleedin' carrots! 641 00:43:01,267 --> 00:43:04,336 - I hate carrots! - You're a shite vampire! 642 00:43:04,436 --> 00:43:06,071 That's a waste of good blood! 643 00:43:07,673 --> 00:43:10,008 I want the real thing! Come here to me! 644 00:43:11,009 --> 00:43:12,744 You set him off! 645 00:43:12,778 --> 00:43:14,446 Get us out of here! 646 00:43:14,479 --> 00:43:17,783 Hurry! Come on! Come on! 647 00:43:18,116 --> 00:43:19,818 Come on! 648 00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:28,427 Take your time, Matt, take your time! 649 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:43,041 He'll calm down in a minute, 650 00:43:43,075 --> 00:43:45,043 as long as you don't give him any more blood. 651 00:43:52,784 --> 00:43:55,754 Where's me fuckin' rabbit?! 652 00:43:56,188 --> 00:43:58,490 Where's me fuckin' rabbit?! 653 00:43:59,791 --> 00:44:01,693 Oh, Nidge... 654 00:44:03,061 --> 00:44:04,663 Where the fuck..? 655 00:44:06,064 --> 00:44:07,766 Where the fuck... 656 00:44:08,734 --> 00:44:10,135 Nidge? 657 00:44:13,639 --> 00:44:15,140 There ye are, ye little bollocks. 658 00:44:35,060 --> 00:44:37,195 Matt get this dirt-bag off me! 659 00:44:45,938 --> 00:44:47,472 I can't hold him! 660 00:44:59,718 --> 00:45:01,153 Aw, fuck. 661 00:45:06,925 --> 00:45:09,061 The mad bastard's done a bomb dive! 662 00:45:09,494 --> 00:45:11,029 Deco, leave him... 663 00:45:23,642 --> 00:45:25,744 Fuck! 664 00:45:27,779 --> 00:45:30,582 Come on, get up. Come on! 665 00:45:31,683 --> 00:45:34,052 No! No, leave me alone! 666 00:45:46,798 --> 00:45:48,633 - Get into the light! - No, no, no! 667 00:45:48,667 --> 00:45:51,203 - Get up! - I seen the bleedin' devil! 668 00:45:54,039 --> 00:45:54,840 I've seen the devil! 669 00:45:54,873 --> 00:45:58,176 I've seen his eyes! It's not true! 670 00:45:58,510 --> 00:46:00,045 I'm trying to help you! 671 00:46:01,947 --> 00:46:03,048 Let go, Deco! 672 00:46:05,250 --> 00:46:08,887 Don't let me go, you little bollocks! 673 00:46:10,856 --> 00:46:13,592 - Deco, let go. - Don't let him in! 674 00:46:17,330 --> 00:46:20,232 Matt, get in there, stop him, don't let him drain him 675 00:46:20,266 --> 00:46:23,802 because if he drains him, he'll become a vampire! 676 00:46:23,902 --> 00:46:26,872 No, no, no, if he drains him, 677 00:46:26,905 --> 00:46:29,107 he won't be a vampire, he'll be dead! 678 00:46:29,141 --> 00:46:30,876 Will I let him drain him or not?! 679 00:46:30,909 --> 00:46:33,111 Just get in there and stop him! 680 00:46:33,145 --> 00:46:35,647 Ah here, you're scaring me now. 681 00:46:42,020 --> 00:46:43,021 Deco... 682 00:46:45,090 --> 00:46:47,893 Before you say anything, you should have a sip. 683 00:46:48,193 --> 00:46:50,629 Vintage blood from... 684 00:46:50,929 --> 00:46:53,031 1963. 685 00:46:53,198 --> 00:46:54,300 A great year. 686 00:46:54,866 --> 00:46:56,635 You said you wouldn't bite anyone! 687 00:46:56,668 --> 00:46:57,669 Ah, what?! 688 00:46:58,170 --> 00:47:01,640 He was a scumbag, sold me my first hit. 689 00:47:01,673 --> 00:47:03,175 He's ruined enough lives. 690 00:47:03,208 --> 00:47:06,945 Henry says to drain him dry, unless you want him coming back. 691 00:47:07,346 --> 00:47:09,081 Happy days! 692 00:47:29,134 --> 00:47:32,804 ♪ Snowdrops and daffodils ♪ 693 00:47:32,904 --> 00:47:36,141 ♪ Butterflies and bees ♪ 694 00:47:36,174 --> 00:47:39,678 ♪ Sailboats and fishermen ♪ 695 00:47:39,945 --> 00:47:43,148 ♪ Things of the sea ♪ 696 00:47:43,416 --> 00:47:47,052 ♪ Wishing wells, Wedding bells ♪ 697 00:47:47,085 --> 00:47:50,356 ♪ Early morning dew ♪ 698 00:47:52,391 --> 00:47:55,794 ♪ All kinds of everything ♪ 699 00:47:56,194 --> 00:48:01,066 ♪ Reminds me of you... ♪ 700 00:48:14,447 --> 00:48:17,416 I'm after necking those few pints fast. 701 00:48:19,251 --> 00:48:21,354 I feel ashamed of meself. 702 00:48:24,290 --> 00:48:25,824 That blood... 703 00:48:28,193 --> 00:48:30,296 has gone straight to me head. 704 00:48:33,999 --> 00:48:36,034 Don't you be judging me now. 705 00:48:36,402 --> 00:48:38,337 I didn't even like it. 706 00:48:39,070 --> 00:48:41,072 Just curiosity. 707 00:48:45,511 --> 00:48:47,413 I'm not into it anymore. 708 00:48:49,382 --> 00:48:50,982 Anyways, look, 709 00:48:53,118 --> 00:48:55,020 you clean up this mess, 710 00:48:57,022 --> 00:48:58,089 you owe it to me. 711 00:48:58,123 --> 00:48:59,325 You owe me! 712 00:48:59,358 --> 00:49:01,059 You owe it to me! 713 00:49:01,092 --> 00:49:02,761 All I see is wires here 714 00:49:02,794 --> 00:49:04,829 and I want to know where that fuckin' telly is 715 00:49:04,863 --> 00:49:08,267 or you will be out that door in two minutes flat! 716 00:49:08,301 --> 00:49:10,303 I am going to explode! 717 00:49:10,336 --> 00:49:12,305 Maybe someone robbed it or something, like. 718 00:49:12,338 --> 00:49:13,939 - Do you know who robbed it? - Dunno. 719 00:49:13,972 --> 00:49:15,173 No, he says he doesn't know. 720 00:49:15,207 --> 00:49:16,942 Did he fuckin' rob that telly?! 721 00:49:16,975 --> 00:49:19,878 Who stole the telly? 722 00:49:22,348 --> 00:49:25,284 I fuckin' knew it! 723 00:49:40,266 --> 00:49:42,067 I don't owe you anything! 724 00:49:42,100 --> 00:49:43,402 It's your own fuckin' fault 725 00:49:43,436 --> 00:49:45,371 you got kicked out in the first place! 726 00:49:45,404 --> 00:49:46,572 You were a junkie! 727 00:49:46,606 --> 00:49:49,508 And Ma was sick of you robbing shite from your own house! 728 00:49:50,376 --> 00:49:52,143 And yeah, I ratted on you. 729 00:49:52,811 --> 00:49:55,314 Cause I didn't wanna come down them stairs one morning 730 00:49:55,348 --> 00:49:57,350 and find you lying on the ground dead 731 00:49:57,383 --> 00:50:00,885 with a needle sticking out of your fucking arm! 732 00:50:04,823 --> 00:50:08,193 I'm done feeling guilty about that, Deco. 733 00:50:09,060 --> 00:50:13,765 I didn't betray you, you chose that shite over me! 734 00:50:14,467 --> 00:50:18,169 I... do you know what? I don't know if I care anymore! 735 00:50:18,803 --> 00:50:21,806 'Cause I feel nothing towards you. 736 00:50:22,375 --> 00:50:23,542 Nothing. 737 00:50:23,576 --> 00:50:25,444 You're wound up. 738 00:50:25,810 --> 00:50:28,813 - Sit down. - I fucking hate you. 739 00:50:28,913 --> 00:50:31,350 Honestly, me own brother, 740 00:50:31,651 --> 00:50:33,319 Ma does, too. 741 00:50:34,252 --> 00:50:35,854 Says it all the time. 742 00:50:36,289 --> 00:50:38,391 Biggest regret of her life was having you. 743 00:50:46,131 --> 00:50:49,200 Yeah, well I'll get to live forever now, won't I? 744 00:50:51,236 --> 00:50:53,805 I'll get to see the two of you dead. 745 00:50:56,442 --> 00:50:58,143 You'll always be on your own. 746 00:50:59,077 --> 00:51:00,446 No one to love you. 747 00:51:02,648 --> 00:51:04,483 [mobile phone ringing] 748 00:51:05,050 --> 00:51:07,252 Who the fuck's this annoying me now? 749 00:51:07,486 --> 00:51:09,087 Aw, it's Natalie. 750 00:51:11,222 --> 00:51:13,224 Alright, Natalie? It's Matt. 751 00:51:13,259 --> 00:51:16,395 Me and Deco are around in the house, 18 Joel Street. 752 00:51:16,429 --> 00:51:18,930 You should come around, he'd love to see you. 753 00:51:18,963 --> 00:51:20,865 No, no, what are you after doing? 754 00:51:31,976 --> 00:51:34,112 Wait 'til she sees you're a vampire. 755 00:51:35,213 --> 00:51:36,981 I bet she dumps you. 756 00:51:47,426 --> 00:51:49,160 I'll take care of this. 757 00:51:49,928 --> 00:51:51,029 Wait. 758 00:51:51,831 --> 00:51:54,467 I want you to teach me how to kill vampires. 759 00:51:55,033 --> 00:51:57,135 I'm tired of getting pushed around. 760 00:51:59,705 --> 00:52:04,310 My stake of choice has a one and a quarter inch diameter 761 00:52:04,343 --> 00:52:06,244 for optimum grip. 762 00:52:06,278 --> 00:52:09,482 And sandalwood is my preference, 763 00:52:09,515 --> 00:52:12,485 because it's such a versatile wood. 764 00:52:12,518 --> 00:52:15,654 It's both light and strong, 765 00:52:15,688 --> 00:52:19,392 it's just a personal choice, you find what works for you. 766 00:52:23,529 --> 00:52:25,029 Agh! 767 00:52:31,035 --> 00:52:33,472 Well, that's the... that's the blunt end. 768 00:52:33,706 --> 00:52:36,308 How'd you make the pointy end, with a sword or something? 769 00:52:39,612 --> 00:52:41,212 Under the ribs. Ragh! 770 00:52:43,114 --> 00:52:44,383 What's that?! 771 00:52:49,355 --> 00:52:52,491 It's time that little boy became a man. 772 00:52:55,093 --> 00:52:56,194 Good. 773 00:52:56,227 --> 00:52:57,329 Better. 774 00:52:57,363 --> 00:52:58,564 Easy! 775 00:52:59,498 --> 00:53:00,932 Focus. 776 00:53:18,016 --> 00:53:20,753 Killing vampires is like train spotting. 777 00:53:20,786 --> 00:53:23,021 You let them come to you. 778 00:53:23,121 --> 00:53:26,191 Of course, those railway locomotive traction maintenance 779 00:53:26,224 --> 00:53:28,661 depots like Willesden, where they're all lined up 780 00:53:28,694 --> 00:53:30,028 and waiting for you. 781 00:53:31,029 --> 00:53:31,764 Deco! 782 00:53:31,797 --> 00:53:33,399 Open this door! 783 00:53:34,733 --> 00:53:36,469 I know you're in there! 784 00:53:38,069 --> 00:53:39,204 Deco! 785 00:53:41,807 --> 00:53:44,376 I can actually see you, ya thick. 786 00:53:48,314 --> 00:53:50,483 A lathe might be a bit quicker. 787 00:53:52,685 --> 00:53:56,120 - So where exactly is the heart? - In the centre. 788 00:53:59,391 --> 00:54:00,726 A little bit to the left. 789 00:54:07,833 --> 00:54:09,468 I don't think I can do it. 790 00:54:10,168 --> 00:54:11,704 Look, Matt, 791 00:54:11,737 --> 00:54:13,672 Deco just killed a friend of yours. 792 00:54:13,706 --> 00:54:15,541 - Well... - A good man. 793 00:54:15,941 --> 00:54:17,810 - Eh... - Well, a human being. 794 00:54:17,843 --> 00:54:19,712 Yeah. Okay, fair enough. 795 00:54:19,745 --> 00:54:22,080 You've got blood on your hands now. 796 00:54:22,348 --> 00:54:24,283 - What? - You've got blood on your hands 797 00:54:24,316 --> 00:54:27,620 - you should wash them. - Alright, thanks. 798 00:54:28,254 --> 00:54:30,723 Me and Matt were out playing ball in the garden. 799 00:54:30,756 --> 00:54:32,258 Some day for it. 800 00:54:32,291 --> 00:54:33,091 And what? 801 00:54:33,124 --> 00:54:35,427 The ball just bit your neck, did it? 802 00:54:35,528 --> 00:54:37,061 Right, tell me. 803 00:54:37,095 --> 00:54:38,664 You're making a bleedin' psycho out of me. 804 00:54:38,697 --> 00:54:40,666 Just tell me what's after happening. 805 00:54:40,699 --> 00:54:44,637 - I, eh... I, eh... - Will you stop say "Eh"?! 806 00:54:44,670 --> 00:54:46,772 Will you just tell me what happened?! 807 00:54:46,805 --> 00:54:48,374 Why you looking to the right for? 808 00:54:48,407 --> 00:54:50,843 That means you're lying Deco, that's psychology! 809 00:54:50,876 --> 00:54:52,678 Look, it's not about another bird. 810 00:54:52,711 --> 00:54:53,812 You want us to see other people, 811 00:54:53,846 --> 00:54:55,347 is that what all this is? 812 00:54:55,381 --> 00:54:56,615 - No! - Cause if it is Deco, 813 00:54:56,649 --> 00:54:58,551 it's not like I haven't had any offers! 814 00:54:58,584 --> 00:55:01,320 - What other offers? - Mick O'Connor for one thing. 815 00:55:01,353 --> 00:55:03,087 And he has a better Ronnie than you do! 816 00:55:03,121 --> 00:55:05,524 That little bit of bum fluff on your lip, state of you! 817 00:55:05,558 --> 00:55:08,159 He's been growing his twice as long, 818 00:55:08,192 --> 00:55:09,227 thank you very much. 819 00:55:09,261 --> 00:55:11,630 Stacey's friend said that there was some bleedin' 820 00:55:11,664 --> 00:55:14,132 aul one chewing the face off you. 821 00:55:14,232 --> 00:55:15,501 Do you know what Deco, I'm done. 822 00:55:15,534 --> 00:55:17,536 I'm over this conversation. 823 00:55:18,304 --> 00:55:19,638 All right, wait! 824 00:55:20,039 --> 00:55:22,708 I was at a party, and there was this bird, 825 00:55:22,741 --> 00:55:25,778 but she attacked me and she bit me in the neck. 826 00:55:25,811 --> 00:55:27,880 And I'm a... I'm infected with something. 827 00:55:27,913 --> 00:55:30,516 Whatcha mean you're infected with something?! 828 00:55:30,549 --> 00:55:31,784 With what?! 829 00:55:34,553 --> 00:55:37,323 Be very open minded about this. 830 00:55:37,823 --> 00:55:40,593 Here it is, here it fuckin' is. 831 00:55:40,626 --> 00:55:43,729 Here's your big moment, Deco. Just say it. 832 00:55:47,299 --> 00:55:49,735 She turned me into a vampire. 833 00:56:07,185 --> 00:56:09,355 Listen, once you've killed your brother, 834 00:56:09,388 --> 00:56:11,256 I've been looking for an apprentice. 835 00:56:11,290 --> 00:56:13,559 Sheila's having a party tonight, 836 00:56:13,592 --> 00:56:15,694 we could finish this once and for all. 837 00:56:15,995 --> 00:56:18,162 How are ya, Henry? 838 00:56:19,698 --> 00:56:21,767 Sheila sends her love. 839 00:56:25,203 --> 00:56:26,538 How did you find me? 840 00:56:26,572 --> 00:56:31,477 Aw man, you smell good. 841 00:56:31,577 --> 00:56:33,512 Matt, training! 842 00:56:37,850 --> 00:56:40,552 You can't come in, I won't invite you in. 843 00:56:40,586 --> 00:56:42,354 Ah now, come on. 844 00:56:42,655 --> 00:56:46,592 Don't think you can say a shed's accommodation, what? 845 00:56:46,759 --> 00:56:48,794 Well there are landlords that might disagree with you. 846 00:56:57,302 --> 00:56:59,538 Agh, you little bollocks! 847 00:57:10,449 --> 00:57:13,251 Henry, I didn't mean it, Henry, hurry up, get up! 848 00:57:13,285 --> 00:57:14,520 Henry! 849 00:57:15,988 --> 00:57:17,489 Aw, fuck. 850 00:58:35,968 --> 00:58:37,503 Up the Dubs! 851 00:58:44,643 --> 00:58:46,945 Henry, get up, come on. 852 00:58:48,847 --> 00:58:53,418 Oh, Mommy, I don't wanna go to school... 853 00:58:54,853 --> 00:58:56,989 You have a snooze, I'll be back in a minute. 854 00:59:00,626 --> 00:59:02,895 - Do you know what I think? - Aw, Jaysus. 855 00:59:03,061 --> 00:59:04,863 I think that's bleedin' deadly. 856 00:59:04,897 --> 00:59:07,833 - What? - Deco, I love all them vampire films! 857 00:59:07,866 --> 00:59:09,768 Team Edward and Team Jacobs and all that! 858 00:59:09,902 --> 00:59:12,571 - Team Deco? - Oh my God, gas. 859 00:59:12,704 --> 00:59:14,840 Yeah, look at me fangs as well, look. 860 00:59:15,307 --> 00:59:17,376 Are they meant to be that small? 861 00:59:17,409 --> 00:59:19,545 - What? - I'm only messing! 862 00:59:19,578 --> 00:59:21,313 They're lovely little fangs. 863 00:59:22,047 --> 00:59:23,615 Here... 864 00:59:23,916 --> 00:59:25,484 Oh? 865 00:59:25,818 --> 00:59:27,653 Would you like a bit of that? 866 00:59:29,588 --> 00:59:32,357 - What? - Go on, get in there. 867 00:59:34,026 --> 00:59:37,696 - Make me a vampire. - Oh, oh no, no, no, stop it. 868 00:59:37,729 --> 00:59:38,797 No, you don't know what you're doing! 869 00:59:38,831 --> 00:59:40,766 - Deco, make me a vampire. - No! 870 00:59:40,799 --> 00:59:41,934 - Go on. - No, it's not funny. 871 00:59:41,967 --> 00:59:43,135 I know you want to! 872 00:59:43,168 --> 00:59:45,437 - It's no joke. - What're you doing?! 873 00:59:45,704 --> 00:59:47,573 The state of your Ronnie! 874 01:01:01,947 --> 01:01:04,116 That Henry fella's got in your head. 875 01:01:04,683 --> 01:01:06,118 I thought you cared about Natalie! 876 01:01:06,151 --> 01:01:07,519 She asked for it! 877 01:01:09,521 --> 01:01:11,056 It's never your fault, is it?! 878 01:01:11,723 --> 01:01:14,026 No like, she literally asked for it. 879 01:01:44,856 --> 01:01:46,558 Hello? 880 01:01:51,964 --> 01:01:52,998 All right, Ma? 881 01:01:53,031 --> 01:01:54,800 What's wrong with you, you sound out of breath? 882 01:01:54,833 --> 01:01:56,568 Yeah, I'm just in work, I'm grand. 883 01:01:56,601 --> 01:01:58,837 I'm doing the shopping, text me if you need anything. 884 01:01:58,870 --> 01:02:00,505 Alright go on, I'll call you later. 885 01:02:00,539 --> 01:02:02,207 Don't be killing yourself now, love. 886 01:02:27,632 --> 01:02:29,568 Deco, what're you doing?! 887 01:02:30,068 --> 01:02:31,737 Come here and I'll bite you. 888 01:02:33,672 --> 01:02:36,875 Deco, don't be at my foot, don't do it! 889 01:03:20,685 --> 01:03:23,555 Get that bit of wood out of my face! 890 01:03:56,355 --> 01:03:59,958 Matt! Let me in, Matt! Please help! 891 01:04:09,801 --> 01:04:12,305 Oh, please! Oh, I'm burning! 892 01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:16,641 Ow, my skin, oh... 893 01:04:26,084 --> 01:04:27,819 Please... 894 01:04:53,412 --> 01:04:56,815 At least we got to hang out, one more day. 895 01:05:22,841 --> 01:05:25,344 That's tasty as fuck, that is. 896 01:05:28,947 --> 01:05:30,081 Nat! 897 01:05:30,782 --> 01:05:32,017 Natalie! 898 01:05:39,124 --> 01:05:40,992 Oh, fuck. 899 01:05:41,394 --> 01:05:43,094 I couldn't kill me brother. 900 01:05:44,129 --> 01:05:45,197 Eejit! 901 01:05:45,230 --> 01:05:48,133 I'm kicking him out, as soon as the sun goes down. 902 01:05:48,166 --> 01:05:49,468 - Seriously. - I mean it! 903 01:05:49,502 --> 01:05:50,835 - Ha! - I've had enough. 904 01:05:50,869 --> 01:05:52,438 Ha, dick! 905 01:05:54,973 --> 01:05:56,475 I brought you your jacket. 906 01:05:57,543 --> 01:05:59,378 Gets cold out here. 907 01:06:02,247 --> 01:06:03,782 Thank you. 908 01:06:10,121 --> 01:06:12,258 Come on Willy, you've been on that for ages, 909 01:06:12,291 --> 01:06:13,492 will ya hurry up! 910 01:06:13,659 --> 01:06:15,528 Woah, woah, woah, where you going with this? 911 01:06:15,561 --> 01:06:19,064 Put it in the corner, I've already told you this! 912 01:06:19,097 --> 01:06:22,535 Guys, we're open in two hours. 913 01:06:22,568 --> 01:06:24,769 Yeah? Can we hurry this up a bit? 914 01:06:25,003 --> 01:06:26,539 Why you looking at me like you don't understand 915 01:06:26,572 --> 01:06:29,107 what I'm saying? I'm saying it very clearly. 916 01:06:29,140 --> 01:06:32,345 Sheila, can you... Sheila, are you okay? 917 01:06:32,478 --> 01:06:33,979 Sheila! 918 01:06:34,313 --> 01:06:35,448 Amanda's dead. 919 01:06:35,780 --> 01:06:38,484 Did you just get psychic abilities right now? 920 01:06:38,517 --> 01:06:40,553 Like, did your mind just tell you that, do we get that?! 921 01:06:40,586 --> 01:06:43,154 No, she just didn't reply to my text messages! 922 01:06:43,188 --> 01:06:45,291 - Oh. - We need to go sort this. 923 01:06:45,324 --> 01:06:46,425 Well I can't leave, 924 01:06:46,459 --> 01:06:48,494 or these clowns will turn this place 925 01:06:48,527 --> 01:06:51,029 into a dental clinic by the time we're back. 926 01:06:51,062 --> 01:06:51,997 Fair point. 927 01:06:53,266 --> 01:06:55,834 It's time me and Henry broke up face to face. 928 01:06:55,867 --> 01:06:58,537 You stay calm, you don't wind him up. 929 01:06:58,571 --> 01:07:00,439 - I've got this. - You have! 930 01:07:01,340 --> 01:07:03,041 I'm Zen. 931 01:07:03,276 --> 01:07:04,876 Well... 932 01:07:05,645 --> 01:07:07,912 She's Zen. She's Zen, she's said she's Zen. 933 01:07:08,046 --> 01:07:09,247 She's Zen. 934 01:07:14,387 --> 01:07:15,321 Don't worry love, 935 01:07:15,354 --> 01:07:17,956 you just walk it off, you'll feel better. 936 01:07:17,989 --> 01:07:20,825 Look, I thought I was a goner, 937 01:07:20,859 --> 01:07:23,462 but look at me now, what? 938 01:07:24,129 --> 01:07:27,266 Oi, you two. It's nearly time to go. 939 01:07:27,466 --> 01:07:28,933 Get your things. 940 01:07:28,967 --> 01:07:31,537 What are you talking about, you fool, ya? 941 01:07:35,608 --> 01:07:37,410 The sun'll be going down soon. 942 01:07:37,443 --> 01:07:39,144 Get your umbrellas. 943 01:07:39,312 --> 01:07:41,380 You can go on, it's safe now. 944 01:07:42,047 --> 01:07:44,317 Ah, you're trying to trick us. 945 01:07:44,684 --> 01:07:46,452 We're gonna stay right here 946 01:07:46,485 --> 01:07:48,521 until it's pitch black out there. 947 01:07:49,087 --> 01:07:51,089 Once your fangs start growing, 948 01:07:51,122 --> 01:07:52,425 you've a lot more energy. 949 01:07:52,458 --> 01:07:55,026 Healing, strength, agility, 950 01:07:55,060 --> 01:07:57,028 and I'm definitely smarter! 951 01:07:58,264 --> 01:08:00,198 But everything has its drawbacks. 952 01:08:00,399 --> 01:08:02,601 - Like the poxy sunlight. - Oh, really? 953 01:08:02,635 --> 01:08:05,003 And I don't think vampires can get boners. 954 01:08:05,036 --> 01:08:06,339 - Oh really?! - Yeah. 955 01:08:06,372 --> 01:08:07,306 No, no, 956 01:08:07,340 --> 01:08:10,108 I think you're thinking of zombies, you thick. 957 01:08:10,141 --> 01:08:11,310 Don't call me a thick. 958 01:08:11,344 --> 01:08:14,112 I actually find that very offensive. 959 01:08:14,380 --> 01:08:17,483 - I think you should apologize. - I'm not apologizing for that. 960 01:08:18,517 --> 01:08:20,151 Very mature. 961 01:08:21,587 --> 01:08:24,856 I'm sorry, Deco, I didn't mean to... 962 01:08:25,391 --> 01:08:28,193 cross any lines there or hurt your feelings. 963 01:08:28,594 --> 01:08:30,296 Don't worry about it, Matthew. 964 01:08:30,329 --> 01:08:31,996 Anyway! 965 01:08:32,030 --> 01:08:33,432 I actually think I'd be very good at it. 966 01:08:33,632 --> 01:08:35,967 - Yeah? - Yeah cause I love going out at night. 967 01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:37,168 She does. 968 01:08:37,202 --> 01:08:39,037 Plus you get to be immoral and live forever and all that. 969 01:08:39,070 --> 01:08:42,408 - It's immortal, not immoral. - Shut up you, you thick! 970 01:08:42,441 --> 01:08:45,411 That's what I'm after saying, i-mor-dal! 971 01:08:45,944 --> 01:08:48,079 That's all this country needs. 972 01:08:48,213 --> 01:08:49,914 More bleedin' vampires. 973 01:08:49,948 --> 01:08:51,283 Ah, fu... 974 01:09:23,148 --> 01:09:24,483 Change of plans. 975 01:09:38,731 --> 01:09:40,098 Henry! 976 01:09:42,167 --> 01:09:45,136 - What are you doing? - Oh, I was about to, um... 977 01:09:45,838 --> 01:09:48,307 You do know that you've killed a lot of people? 978 01:09:48,340 --> 01:09:50,241 You're the one killing my friends! 979 01:09:50,276 --> 01:09:51,477 That's worse! 980 01:09:51,510 --> 01:09:54,078 You're the one who's going out at night biting new people 981 01:09:54,112 --> 01:09:55,681 and creating new vampires! 982 01:09:55,714 --> 01:09:57,650 And I know about your club later. 983 01:09:57,883 --> 01:10:00,286 Why are you being so mean?! 984 01:10:00,319 --> 01:10:02,588 You're making me out to be a monster! 985 01:10:02,721 --> 01:10:05,291 This obviously meant nothing to you! 986 01:10:05,324 --> 01:10:07,693 You care more about trains than me! 987 01:10:07,726 --> 01:10:09,628 That's not true. 988 01:10:09,662 --> 01:10:11,464 Ooh, wait... 989 01:10:12,264 --> 01:10:15,033 I didn't think the 9:30 from Howth to Bray 990 01:10:15,066 --> 01:10:17,369 was operating on a Sunday. 991 01:10:17,403 --> 01:10:20,272 Name one thing you loved about me! 992 01:10:21,574 --> 01:10:25,210 - You're smart. - Please! So vague. 993 01:10:25,243 --> 01:10:28,112 I love the way you always spoke exactly the way you felt. 994 01:10:28,146 --> 01:10:32,250 You're such a nerd, Henry! 995 01:10:32,284 --> 01:10:33,419 You don't mind it. 996 01:10:33,452 --> 01:10:36,555 Just stake me and get it over with! 997 01:10:36,589 --> 01:10:39,057 - Yeah, stake her. - You shut up! 998 01:10:40,526 --> 01:10:42,294 Oh, oh! 999 01:10:42,394 --> 01:10:45,264 Ha, they must have updated their timetable. 1000 01:10:48,501 --> 01:10:49,502 Henry! 1001 01:11:07,486 --> 01:11:08,721 Idiot. 1002 01:11:11,490 --> 01:11:13,191 Hate break-ups. 1003 01:11:13,726 --> 01:11:16,027 Someone always gets hurt. 1004 01:11:20,299 --> 01:11:22,501 Oh, Henry you never tasted so good! 1005 01:11:30,709 --> 01:11:32,545 Any chance of a bit of blood? 1006 01:11:32,578 --> 01:11:34,547 Oh, would you look who it is! 1007 01:11:34,580 --> 01:11:37,650 Here you, you keep your grubby claws off my fella 1008 01:11:37,683 --> 01:11:40,319 - you little fuckin' cretin! - It's all right, love. 1009 01:11:40,352 --> 01:11:41,820 - I'll box her head in! - Come on no, we'll go in. 1010 01:11:41,854 --> 01:11:43,756 - No, it's okay. - They're rotten things! 1011 01:11:46,190 --> 01:11:47,459 Do you smell that? 1012 01:11:53,332 --> 01:11:56,134 Mother of God, she's AB negative. 1013 01:11:56,167 --> 01:11:58,804 One dabble of that and you're hooked. 1014 01:12:00,873 --> 01:12:03,141 She'll be great for the raffle later. 1015 01:12:07,446 --> 01:12:09,315 Excuse me, can I help you? 1016 01:12:09,415 --> 01:12:11,483 Would you come with us, please? 1017 01:12:11,517 --> 01:12:13,552 There's a raffle we'd love you to take part in. 1018 01:12:13,586 --> 01:12:15,888 A raffle? Ah here, are you from the Lotto? 1019 01:12:15,921 --> 01:12:18,357 I sent that scratch card in months ago! 1020 01:12:18,390 --> 01:12:20,526 Yeah, that's it, you're a winner! 1021 01:12:20,559 --> 01:12:23,495 - Congratulations! - Ma, wait. 1022 01:12:24,630 --> 01:12:26,632 Here, put them in the fridge! 1023 01:12:26,665 --> 01:12:28,367 - They're a bunch of vampires. - Yeah, 1024 01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:30,536 and they've been praying on me for years, 1025 01:12:30,569 --> 01:12:32,170 and what is it you said? 1026 01:12:32,203 --> 01:12:34,138 More chance of being hit by lightning? 1027 01:12:34,172 --> 01:12:36,308 Well good job your poor aul mother didn't listen to you! 1028 01:12:36,342 --> 01:12:37,343 Yeah! 1029 01:12:38,176 --> 01:12:39,378 Come on! 1030 01:12:39,945 --> 01:12:42,648 Wait 'til you see what we have lined up for you. 1031 01:12:45,951 --> 01:12:47,185 Yoo-hoo! 1032 01:12:48,887 --> 01:12:52,223 She's raging. Here, is Marty presenting it? 1033 01:12:52,257 --> 01:12:54,259 Aw, I watch him every week, I love him. 1034 01:12:55,728 --> 01:12:57,830 Just be glad it's not you, yeah? 1035 01:12:59,331 --> 01:13:00,633 See ya! 1036 01:13:04,970 --> 01:13:07,539 They took Ma, you have to help her. 1037 01:13:10,643 --> 01:13:13,144 - What are you doing, come on! - She all right? 1038 01:13:14,446 --> 01:13:15,848 Listen Deco, 1039 01:13:15,881 --> 01:13:18,917 with your Ma out of the picture, we can inherit this house. 1040 01:13:19,318 --> 01:13:21,820 Here, yeah, we talk about it later love. 1041 01:13:21,854 --> 01:13:22,788 Jaysus! 1042 01:13:22,821 --> 01:13:26,358 Listen. Look at me. I know she's your ma, 1043 01:13:26,659 --> 01:13:29,595 but truth be told, she never gave a fuck about you. 1044 01:13:30,194 --> 01:13:33,365 I'm the one who cares about you, I'm your family now. 1045 01:13:36,502 --> 01:13:38,437 - All right? - All right. 1046 01:13:40,472 --> 01:13:43,409 Hello? Yeah, emergency services? 1047 01:13:45,344 --> 01:13:47,279 What're you doing, they're going to kill her! 1048 01:13:47,312 --> 01:13:48,681 She never gave a fuck about me, 1049 01:13:48,714 --> 01:13:50,582 why should I care about her? 1050 01:13:50,816 --> 01:13:51,717 Stay where you are, 1051 01:13:51,750 --> 01:13:53,184 you'd only end up getting yourself hurt. 1052 01:13:55,621 --> 01:13:57,256 Just do as you're told. 1053 01:14:48,674 --> 01:14:49,675 Wow! 1054 01:14:50,142 --> 01:14:52,511 Jeez, I'm bleedin' parchin' now. 1055 01:14:54,780 --> 01:14:57,015 Right, I'll go down and see 1056 01:14:57,049 --> 01:14:59,485 if there's anything left in that old bollocks, Henry. 1057 01:15:31,884 --> 01:15:35,287 See your stupid brother, he's gonna ruin everything! 1058 01:15:35,387 --> 01:15:38,390 Get dressed, we have to stop him from saving your Ma! 1059 01:15:38,490 --> 01:15:40,626 Come on, will you? Put your little willy away! 1060 01:15:40,793 --> 01:15:41,994 Fly after me! 1061 01:15:42,027 --> 01:15:43,562 I already tried that. 1062 01:15:43,595 --> 01:15:44,930 Not like me, pal. 1063 01:15:51,637 --> 01:15:52,805 Ah! 1064 01:16:19,865 --> 01:16:20,866 Right. 1065 01:16:21,700 --> 01:16:23,001 Wait for me! 1066 01:16:31,410 --> 01:16:32,611 Right... 1067 01:17:02,140 --> 01:17:03,809 Aw, no... 1068 01:17:15,187 --> 01:17:16,855 Calling all taxi drivers. 1069 01:17:16,889 --> 01:17:19,958 We have a vampire situation in The Crypt Nightclub, 1070 01:17:19,992 --> 01:17:22,394 requesting immediate back-up, over. 1071 01:17:22,527 --> 01:17:25,197 Sorry there son, I have a fare out to the airport. 1072 01:17:25,230 --> 01:17:26,698 I won't make it over. 1073 01:17:26,732 --> 01:17:27,599 Crypt club? 1074 01:17:27,633 --> 01:17:29,134 Sure that's on the other side of town, 1075 01:17:29,167 --> 01:17:31,136 not bursting me balls driving over there. 1076 01:17:31,169 --> 01:17:32,771 Yeah, forget about it! 1077 01:17:41,013 --> 01:17:42,814 Make a hard left. 1078 01:18:04,002 --> 01:18:05,504 Oh fuck. 1079 01:18:05,837 --> 01:18:07,005 Go away! 1080 01:18:09,041 --> 01:18:10,575 Fuck off! 1081 01:18:11,777 --> 01:18:13,578 Get off me motor, Natalie! 1082 01:18:37,602 --> 01:18:39,004 Please make a U-turn. 1083 01:18:40,872 --> 01:18:43,775 Listen Matt, forget about your Ma! 1084 01:18:44,042 --> 01:18:45,811 We can all live together. 1085 01:18:45,844 --> 01:18:47,779 Nobody absolutely wrecking your... 1086 01:18:54,119 --> 01:18:55,220 ...head. 1087 01:18:58,824 --> 01:18:59,825 Agh! 1088 01:19:06,332 --> 01:19:07,866 Go away, Natalie! 1089 01:19:08,967 --> 01:19:10,269 Go away! 1090 01:19:11,603 --> 01:19:12,938 Get off me, Natalie! 1091 01:20:31,384 --> 01:20:33,286 Oh-oh-oh, perfect. 1092 01:20:35,053 --> 01:20:36,855 Couldn't write it. 1093 01:21:32,844 --> 01:21:34,646 Sounds like it's lit in there! 1094 01:21:37,082 --> 01:21:38,783 We appreciate your donation. 1095 01:21:53,332 --> 01:21:54,966 Sorry, we're full tonight. 1096 01:21:55,133 --> 01:21:57,869 I have friends in there, I have to see them. 1097 01:21:57,903 --> 01:21:59,405 They don't want to see you! 1098 01:21:59,804 --> 01:22:01,773 - Ha, ha, ha! - Ha, ha, ha! 1099 01:22:01,806 --> 01:22:03,409 Yeah, I get it, but I'm just gonna head on in. 1100 01:22:03,442 --> 01:22:05,710 Go that way again and see what happens, 1101 01:22:05,744 --> 01:22:07,346 go that way and see what happens. 1102 01:22:07,380 --> 01:22:08,414 I'll just go this way. 1103 01:22:08,447 --> 01:22:10,048 Go that way and see what happens, 1104 01:22:10,081 --> 01:22:12,751 either way I have you covered in all corners, pal. 1105 01:22:12,784 --> 01:22:15,421 - Look, I'm cool! - I don't, I don't think 1106 01:22:15,454 --> 01:22:17,989 you're that cool, he doesn't think you're that cool, 1107 01:22:18,023 --> 01:22:19,958 I think you should get your little tiny legs 1108 01:22:19,991 --> 01:22:22,428 and go for a jog pal, yeah? That way. 1109 01:22:22,628 --> 01:22:24,896 I just want to go in to my friend. 1110 01:22:24,930 --> 01:22:28,800 Wow, going to just talk to the man, pretend I'm not even here?! 1111 01:22:28,833 --> 01:22:30,969 Do you know what I did to him last week? 1112 01:22:31,002 --> 01:22:33,004 He was in hospital because of this and this. 1113 01:22:33,205 --> 01:22:34,739 So talk to him again. 1114 01:22:36,208 --> 01:22:39,378 I'm only buzzing with you, go on in! 1115 01:22:39,412 --> 01:22:42,914 Ah, he's all right, go on, scared the shite out of him. 1116 01:22:43,014 --> 01:22:44,383 Enjoy the night. 1117 01:22:46,017 --> 01:22:47,752 He has no friends. 1118 01:22:47,886 --> 01:22:52,924 ♪ She's a maniac, Maniac on the floor ♪ 1119 01:22:54,893 --> 01:22:59,465 ♪ And she dances like She never danced before ♪ 1120 01:23:02,435 --> 01:23:07,172 ♪ She's a manic, Maniac on the floor ♪ 1121 01:23:09,308 --> 01:23:13,446 ♪ And she dances like... ♪ [music fades out] 1122 01:23:13,479 --> 01:23:15,780 I know why you're here tonight. 1123 01:23:21,052 --> 01:23:22,220 Raffle tickets? 1124 01:23:22,254 --> 01:23:24,055 Just the one, please. 1125 01:23:26,392 --> 01:23:27,792 Thank you. 1126 01:23:28,960 --> 01:23:34,132 Greetings my children of the night! 1127 01:23:35,601 --> 01:23:40,805 Are you all ready to get wasted?! 1128 01:23:44,510 --> 01:23:48,246 Tonight, we have a very special prize! 1129 01:23:48,648 --> 01:23:52,917 This is a tasty little morsel to get the evening going. 1130 01:23:53,084 --> 01:23:59,124 And she is... AB negative! 1131 01:24:02,261 --> 01:24:05,897 And the winner is... 1132 01:24:06,465 --> 01:24:08,301 ...Red... 1133 01:24:08,534 --> 01:24:10,835 37! 1134 01:24:17,142 --> 01:24:19,578 Red 37, before it goes off? 1135 01:24:20,446 --> 01:24:23,482 Come on, we haven't got all night. 1136 01:24:24,483 --> 01:24:26,251 Red 37 anybody? 1137 01:24:27,420 --> 01:24:31,156 - I have it! - We have a winner! 1138 01:24:33,259 --> 01:24:34,527 Yes! 1139 01:24:38,464 --> 01:24:41,534 I think you should have her now before we all get thirsty. 1140 01:24:41,567 --> 01:24:43,269 Yeah, I'm excited. 1141 01:24:47,306 --> 01:24:50,376 - Oh, yummy! - Get away from me neck! 1142 01:24:50,609 --> 01:24:54,212 - Ma, it's Matt. - I know it's fuckin' Matt! 1143 01:24:54,245 --> 01:24:57,082 Get a move on will ya, for fuck's sake! 1144 01:24:57,248 --> 01:24:59,184 Here, I have the ticket here, 1145 01:24:59,217 --> 01:25:01,454 that's the ticket! It's a fix it is! 1146 01:25:01,487 --> 01:25:03,422 I should be drinking that aul wan's blood, not him! 1147 01:25:03,723 --> 01:25:06,592 - Bloody raffle me hole! - Get up, go, go! 1148 01:25:06,625 --> 01:25:08,527 Get after them! 1149 01:25:12,698 --> 01:25:14,232 Come on! 1150 01:25:14,333 --> 01:25:16,034 Go, go, go, go, go! 1151 01:25:25,110 --> 01:25:26,612 - Ma, hurry up. - Oh Jesus. 1152 01:25:28,581 --> 01:25:30,316 Oh Jesus, Holy Mary Mother of God! 1153 01:25:33,386 --> 01:25:34,553 Go, go, go. 1154 01:26:07,486 --> 01:26:10,221 Leave my son alone or I'll break you in half! 1155 01:26:10,322 --> 01:26:11,724 You should be ashamed of yourself, 1156 01:26:11,757 --> 01:26:13,592 a man of your age taking blood 1157 01:26:13,626 --> 01:26:15,661 that doesn't even belong to you! 1158 01:26:15,694 --> 01:26:17,296 Get off me you fuckin' bitch! 1159 01:26:19,532 --> 01:26:21,966 You stupid bleedin' vampire! 1160 01:26:35,781 --> 01:26:37,283 He had that coming. 1161 01:26:41,019 --> 01:26:42,954 Come on, go, go, go. 1162 01:26:45,324 --> 01:26:47,393 Declan! Oh my God, look at you. 1163 01:26:47,793 --> 01:26:49,160 - What's wrong with you? - What? 1164 01:26:49,194 --> 01:26:50,463 Give us a look. 1165 01:26:50,596 --> 01:26:52,331 Oh no, are you a vampire? Oh my God, 1166 01:26:52,364 --> 01:26:54,165 you ought to be a bloody ashamed of yourself, 1167 01:26:54,199 --> 01:26:56,067 and look at him, he's pissed, he's pissed! 1168 01:26:56,100 --> 01:26:59,204 No I'm not, I was pouring the booze all over the ground! 1169 01:26:59,805 --> 01:27:02,341 I have them here! The ringleaders. 1170 01:27:02,675 --> 01:27:03,742 Deco? 1171 01:27:03,776 --> 01:27:05,176 Look. 1172 01:27:11,216 --> 01:27:14,152 - Any day now, Deco. - Yeah, I'll get it in a second. 1173 01:27:15,554 --> 01:27:17,423 Stop foostering with that fucking thing. 1174 01:27:30,402 --> 01:27:32,605 I always end up cleaning up after you. 1175 01:27:32,705 --> 01:27:35,139 Jaysus Christ, I'm only after risking my life 1176 01:27:35,173 --> 01:27:37,276 - and you're giving me grief. - Yeah well it's your fault 1177 01:27:37,309 --> 01:27:38,611 I'm here in the first place! 1178 01:27:38,644 --> 01:27:40,346 Everything that comes out of your mouth, 1179 01:27:40,379 --> 01:27:43,716 blame, blame, blame, blame him, blame her, 1180 01:27:43,749 --> 01:27:45,116 blame everybody, 1181 01:27:45,149 --> 01:27:47,286 you blame everybody but your bloody self! 1182 01:27:47,319 --> 01:27:49,622 - Can you stop? - Take a good look at yourself. 1183 01:27:49,655 --> 01:27:51,790 You think I haven't looked at myself before, no?! 1184 01:27:51,824 --> 01:27:53,826 Yeah well, you'd want to take a good look at yourself now, 1185 01:27:53,859 --> 01:27:56,495 I swear you had me up to there, it's your bleedin' fault! 1186 01:27:56,529 --> 01:27:57,763 My ears are ringing, will you shut... 1187 01:27:57,796 --> 01:27:59,732 I'll tell ya I'll pull the ears off you! 1188 01:27:59,765 --> 01:28:01,333 - I'm sure you will! - I will! 1189 01:28:01,367 --> 01:28:01,967 Will you stop fighting?! 1190 01:28:02,001 --> 01:28:02,768 Ever since you were five, 1191 01:28:02,801 --> 01:28:05,069 you were a waste of bleedin' space! 1192 01:28:05,103 --> 01:28:07,071 Very fuckin' nice, Ma. Thank you. 1193 01:28:07,105 --> 01:28:08,474 A bloody waste of space! 1194 01:28:08,507 --> 01:28:10,376 It's no wonder I'm on the tablets! 1195 01:28:10,409 --> 01:28:12,076 Enough! 1196 01:28:12,210 --> 01:28:14,380 Will you both just stop! 1197 01:28:15,581 --> 01:28:17,081 Do you have any idea what it's like 1198 01:28:17,115 --> 01:28:18,651 to be in the middle of this? 1199 01:28:19,852 --> 01:28:22,354 Ma, stop calling him a waster. 1200 01:28:22,388 --> 01:28:25,391 - There ya go. - Deco, have some respect. 1201 01:28:25,724 --> 01:28:27,493 Do you honestly think this is the right time 1202 01:28:27,526 --> 01:28:30,161 - to be having this conversation? - Yeah, I do. 1203 01:28:30,194 --> 01:28:32,264 And we're taking it in turns cooking breakfast from now on... 1204 01:28:32,298 --> 01:28:34,500 Ah no, no, I love your breakfast. 1205 01:28:34,533 --> 01:28:35,501 I always burn the breakfast, 1206 01:28:35,534 --> 01:28:37,135 like do you want to eat your breakfast like... 1207 01:28:37,168 --> 01:28:38,704 It's something you'll have to work on. 1208 01:28:38,737 --> 01:28:42,073 And Deco, if you rob from my store again, I'm reporting you. 1209 01:28:42,541 --> 01:28:45,477 And I'm taking my room back. Every inch of it. 1210 01:28:47,646 --> 01:28:48,781 Now shake hands. 1211 01:28:52,451 --> 01:28:53,586 Come on! 1212 01:29:04,897 --> 01:29:06,665 Okay, now I think we should run. 1213 01:29:07,399 --> 01:29:08,534 Oh. 1214 01:29:14,640 --> 01:29:16,442 Oh, oh God! 1215 01:29:19,645 --> 01:29:20,813 Go up the top, there's an exit! 1216 01:29:20,846 --> 01:29:23,749 - Are you sure you'll be okay?! - I'll stay and help Deco! 1217 01:29:23,782 --> 01:29:26,250 Right, I'll get home so, I'll stick you a fry on! 1218 01:29:26,285 --> 01:29:27,553 I'll say a prayer for you! 1219 01:29:27,586 --> 01:29:30,789 - Need more than a prayer! - Let's go, let's go! 1220 01:29:32,591 --> 01:29:34,158 Come in and close it! 1221 01:29:38,297 --> 01:29:39,732 Yeah! 1222 01:29:40,866 --> 01:29:42,233 Deco! 1223 01:29:42,935 --> 01:29:45,236 Agh, me face! 1224 01:29:50,776 --> 01:29:52,745 What are you doing?! 1225 01:30:19,538 --> 01:30:21,707 I thought I recognized that fat head! 1226 01:30:21,740 --> 01:30:23,207 Oh yeah? 1227 01:30:27,913 --> 01:30:29,381 Get away from him! 1228 01:30:36,655 --> 01:30:37,890 Deco? 1229 01:30:41,360 --> 01:30:42,594 Deco?! 1230 01:30:46,665 --> 01:30:48,467 You're a disgrace! 1231 01:30:48,500 --> 01:30:50,469 Betraying your own kind. 1232 01:31:21,867 --> 01:31:25,838 What a pathetic little pint-sized weed you are. 1233 01:31:25,871 --> 01:31:28,340 You're gonna be a great little helper for us! 1234 01:31:28,507 --> 01:31:30,409 Like Henry, you're nothing! 1235 01:31:30,509 --> 01:31:33,212 He doesn't have a patch on me, son. 1236 01:31:33,445 --> 01:31:35,714 Go on, are you gonna cry to your Mammy now? 1237 01:31:35,748 --> 01:31:37,316 - No! - That's right. 1238 01:31:37,349 --> 01:31:39,351 'Cause I'm gonna drink her blood 1239 01:31:39,384 --> 01:31:42,654 right after I drink yours! 1240 01:31:47,392 --> 01:31:50,295 It's garlic! It burns! 1241 01:31:54,767 --> 01:31:55,934 Yeah? 1242 01:31:56,635 --> 01:31:57,770 Do it! 1243 01:32:22,594 --> 01:32:24,062 Go over there, go over there. 1244 01:32:29,535 --> 01:32:30,836 Any way out?! 1245 01:32:31,603 --> 01:32:32,604 No. 1246 01:32:33,105 --> 01:32:34,306 We're trapped. 1247 01:32:36,575 --> 01:32:38,544 I'm sorry for being a crap brother. 1248 01:32:39,211 --> 01:32:41,446 You weren't much of a vampire, either. 1249 01:33:08,507 --> 01:33:09,675 You done it! 1250 01:33:09,975 --> 01:33:12,945 Oh my God, you done it, Deco! 1251 01:33:12,978 --> 01:33:15,948 - I bleedin' done it! - I knew you could, I said it. 1252 01:33:23,188 --> 01:33:24,690 Ah, fuck. 1253 01:33:30,629 --> 01:33:32,564 - Woo! - Holy God. 1254 01:33:32,598 --> 01:33:34,433 It's like Ma's breakfast, ya know! 1255 01:33:34,466 --> 01:33:36,568 Like an action movie. 1256 01:33:41,673 --> 01:33:45,611 - I finally got me wings! - Unbelievable! 1257 01:33:45,644 --> 01:33:47,713 You're a hefty bastard! 1258 01:33:47,980 --> 01:33:49,548 It's all muscle. 1259 01:33:50,549 --> 01:33:51,950 Say hello, Matt. 1260 01:33:51,984 --> 01:33:53,685 Hello! 1261 01:33:54,653 --> 01:33:57,556 You'd hate to be walking though, wouldn't you? 1262 01:33:59,091 --> 01:34:01,526 Ready to go for a dip, watch it! 1263 01:34:05,063 --> 01:34:07,866 - Watch out for the bridge! - No really, watch out for it. 1264 01:34:07,900 --> 01:34:09,635 Whoa! 1265 01:34:10,769 --> 01:34:13,438 Whoa, just about. 1266 01:34:13,605 --> 01:34:15,607 You done the bleedin' splits! 1267 01:34:15,841 --> 01:34:17,809 Nearly took the balls off me. 1268 01:34:21,013 --> 01:34:23,048 Right come on, take us home there. 1269 01:34:23,081 --> 01:34:25,617 Here we go, sharp turn. 1270 01:34:32,691 --> 01:34:33,892 Down we go. 1271 01:34:34,327 --> 01:34:36,962 Thank you for flying with Deco Airlines. 1272 01:34:37,363 --> 01:34:39,531 - Whoa! - Whoa! 1273 01:34:40,866 --> 01:34:42,467 I told ya you could do it, Deco, 1274 01:34:42,501 --> 01:34:44,603 You'd get a clap for that landing, wouldn't you? 1275 01:34:44,636 --> 01:34:47,072 I told ya you could do it, you were farting all day! 1276 01:34:47,105 --> 01:34:49,007 I nearly bleedin' hurt me hole in the Spire! 1277 01:34:49,041 --> 01:34:51,543 I know, did you see me dodge the bridge doing the splits? 1278 01:34:51,576 --> 01:34:53,612 I thought you were a goner! 1279 01:34:53,712 --> 01:34:55,480 Oh my God... 1280 01:34:57,182 --> 01:34:59,484 You're me best mate, Deco, what are you? 1281 01:35:00,719 --> 01:35:02,120 Your best mate. 1282 01:35:03,722 --> 01:35:06,692 Oh my God, thank God you're back! 1283 01:35:06,992 --> 01:35:09,027 - Are you okay? - Oh yes, I'm okay! 1284 01:35:09,262 --> 01:35:10,862 - Are you okay? - I'm all good, yeah. 1285 01:35:10,896 --> 01:35:12,564 Aw, good. 1286 01:35:13,031 --> 01:35:14,533 Deco... 1287 01:35:20,906 --> 01:35:22,841 Do you want to come in? 1288 01:35:26,211 --> 01:35:27,813 Yeah. 1289 01:35:28,880 --> 01:35:30,716 Only for a cup of tea now. 1290 01:35:32,017 --> 01:35:33,618 Uh-uh. 1291 01:36:12,090 --> 01:36:13,825 ♪ We were decaying ♪ 1292 01:36:13,859 --> 01:36:16,094 ♪ The stars were being polite ♪ 1293 01:36:16,128 --> 01:36:19,097 ♪ And you were on about how ♪ 1294 01:36:19,131 --> 01:36:20,932 ♪ When the gods are playing ♪ 1295 01:36:20,966 --> 01:36:23,201 ♪ They don't know How to feel right ♪ 1296 01:36:23,235 --> 01:36:27,739 ♪ Without maiming Someone special ♪ 1297 01:36:28,474 --> 01:36:34,746 ♪ Oh maybe it's hard to be Normal when you're special ♪ 1298 01:36:35,680 --> 01:36:40,585 ♪ Oh how I long to hear you Tell the world ♪ 1299 01:36:42,821 --> 01:36:44,089 Deco? 1300 01:36:44,257 --> 01:36:46,359 Ah, how are ya pal? Can you hear me? 1301 01:36:46,392 --> 01:36:47,959 Yeah, I can year ya. 1302 01:36:47,993 --> 01:36:50,695 - How are ya gettin' on? - Grand yeah, you? 1303 01:36:50,729 --> 01:36:51,930 Ah well, to be honest with you, 1304 01:36:51,963 --> 01:36:53,065 I wanted to ask ya... 1305 01:36:53,098 --> 01:36:56,134 I'm after gettin' me new coffin, look. 1306 01:36:57,736 --> 01:37:00,705 - Jaysus, yeah. - Size of the bleedin' thing! 1307 01:37:00,739 --> 01:37:03,141 I fit in it though, I've already lied down on it. 1308 01:37:03,241 --> 01:37:05,644 Yeah, I've been sleeping in the wardrobe, 1309 01:37:05,677 --> 01:37:07,145 one on of the hangers. 1310 01:37:07,380 --> 01:37:10,082 Come here, this is all in a different language, 1311 01:37:10,115 --> 01:37:11,683 I don't understand shite. 1312 01:37:11,716 --> 01:37:13,652 It has to have an English version on it. 1313 01:37:13,685 --> 01:37:15,388 That's the one I don't understand. 1314 01:37:15,421 --> 01:37:17,889 It's just pictures, usually that's better for me... 1315 01:37:17,923 --> 01:37:19,691 Yeah, show us the pictures. 1316 01:37:20,125 --> 01:37:21,793 We'll work it out from that. 1317 01:37:23,329 --> 01:37:25,398 - Can you see that? - Yeah, so see the way they have 1318 01:37:25,431 --> 01:37:27,833 labels on them; one, two, three, four... 1319 01:37:27,866 --> 01:37:30,369 - Five, six, seven, eight. - That's it! 1320 01:37:30,403 --> 01:37:31,937 How's you anyway, how's things? 1321 01:37:31,970 --> 01:37:33,972 Here, what's the story with this coffin? 1322 01:37:34,005 --> 01:37:35,374 Doesn't look like you've done anything. 1323 01:37:35,408 --> 01:37:36,342 Have you just been soddin' around here 1324 01:37:36,375 --> 01:37:39,111 - playing with yourself? - No, I'm talking to... 1325 01:37:39,144 --> 01:37:42,714 - Alright! Alright, Natalie? - Oh my God! Heya, Matt! 1326 01:37:42,747 --> 01:37:44,383 - What's the story? - What's the story? 1327 01:37:44,417 --> 01:37:45,884 Oh my God, you're lookin' well. 1328 01:37:45,917 --> 01:37:48,019 This is a great reunion Deco, isn't it? 1329 01:37:48,053 --> 01:37:48,954 Yeah, yeah. 1330 01:37:48,987 --> 01:37:50,989 Here, look me neck, you little bastard. 1331 01:37:51,022 --> 01:37:52,090 Aw, stop. 1332 01:37:52,124 --> 01:37:54,793 Oh my God, it's actually killing me. 1333 01:37:54,826 --> 01:37:57,396 I'm surprised to see you here Natalie, you know that? 1334 01:37:57,430 --> 01:37:59,998 Here look, we better go anyways. 1335 01:38:00,031 --> 01:38:02,834 So, good chatting to you Matt... 1336 01:38:02,868 --> 01:38:04,936 I'll see you soon Deco, yeah? 1337 01:38:04,970 --> 01:38:07,239 I'll take a photo in the coffin when it's done, yeah? 1338 01:38:07,273 --> 01:38:08,907 Yeah, do, yeah. 1339 01:38:11,042 --> 01:38:13,312 Alright go on, take it easy pal, love you brother. 1340 01:38:13,346 --> 01:38:14,413 See ya! 1341 01:38:14,447 --> 01:38:16,349 ♪ You will always be A friend of mine ♪ 1342 01:38:16,882 --> 01:38:20,051 ♪ You will always be A friend of mine ♪ 1343 01:38:20,520 --> 01:38:25,190 ♪ You will always be a friend Of mine because I love you ♪ 1344 01:38:25,326 --> 01:38:27,685 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 1345 01:38:27,826 --> 01:38:30,929 ♪ You will always be A friend of mine ♪ 1346 01:38:31,264 --> 01:38:34,300 ♪ You will always be A friend of mine ♪ 1347 01:38:34,699 --> 01:38:39,738 ♪ You will always be a friend Of mine because I love you ♪ 1348 01:38:41,806 --> 01:38:45,243 ♪ You will always be A friend of mine ♪ 1349 01:38:45,611 --> 01:38:48,914 ♪ You will always be A friend of mine ♪ 1350 01:38:49,181 --> 01:38:53,952 ♪ You will always be a friend Of mine because I love you ♪ 1351 01:38:55,388 --> 01:38:59,124 ♪ You will always be A friend of mine ♪ 1352 01:38:59,592 --> 01:39:02,928 ♪ You will always be A friend of mine ♪ 1353 01:39:03,262 --> 01:39:08,200 ♪ You will always be a friend Of mine because I love you ♪ 1354 01:39:10,168 --> 01:39:12,037 ♪ I've retired ♪ 1355 01:39:12,070 --> 01:39:16,107 ♪ Please take my last record, Put it on the fire ♪ 1356 01:39:17,142 --> 01:39:19,110 ♪ I've retired ♪ 1357 01:39:19,144 --> 01:39:23,349 ♪ Please gather all my songs And put 'em on fire ♪ 1358 01:39:24,249 --> 01:39:26,218 ♪ I've retired ♪ 1359 01:39:26,251 --> 01:39:30,423 ♪ Please take my last record, Put it on the fire ♪ 1360 01:39:31,390 --> 01:39:33,359 ♪ I've retired ♪ 1361 01:39:33,392 --> 01:39:38,029 ♪ Please gather all my songs And put 'em on fire ♪ 98462