Original subtitles

Help! Let's run! Run!

What the fuck?

Hessdalen was a completely ordinary Norwegian mountain valley

Until the inhabitants discovered inexplicable lights in the sky

Oh my gosh!

I'm recording it! I have it on tape!

Scientists from all over the world have sought out this valley

But the lights remain a mystery…

NETFLIX PRESENTS

My name is Stine Lyongo.

I currently run the Hessdalen Observatory--

Stine, that's awesome.

I'm just wondering…

Like, what is it?

-Yeah. -A bit more…

I'm the first female administrator at the observatory,

if that's an interesting angle.

Angle! The angle's wrong, so we have to change it.

Science has sort of taken a nosedive here in Hessdalen.

-On the contrary. We're the epicenter-- -But there are lots of theories online.

Among others, aliens… Which is your favorite, Stine?

The idea of bioluminescent reactions in microorganisms--

Cool. Oh my God, guys! So exciting!

Just keep watching. Learn something new every week with Smartweek.

The promo code is MysteryLady20, all one word, as you know.

This'll be awesome.

Okay, guys. We're inside the cave--

We're going in here.

So we're going in here. Yeah, that's… I'm coming.

That's strange.

What? What's strange?

What the fuck? Hold this.

Yeah, this is some rock…

What is that?

Shit.

Like and subscribe, guys.

Mystery Lady is here with a big mystery.

Maybe we should just

go further in.

Well, guys, we've found some sort of

room.

What the fuck?

This is just getting better and better.

Green goop. This is some green goop.

Is that…

This could be a spider.

What? Stine?

How many fingers?

Five. Good. Really good.

Oh my God. Okay.

Okay, guys. This is a crazy mystery. I don't understand what's going on.

Stine?

Do you have…

Oops. That's yours. Congratulations.

-Hey, you. -Hi, boss.

So why are you here today, Kasper Kielland?

Well, because you can see that I'm… special.

And you know a coup when you see one.

Shit! Fuck! Sorry.

Fucking hell. Coup? Coup.

You know a bargain when-- No, you don't. You don't know a bargain.

Hi.

Coup. Occupation. Annexation.

Tour de force could work. Because you know a masterpiece

when you see one, and I'm offering-- Not so squeaky.

I… And I'm offering you an investment opportunity.

-The cards you wanted. Double stamped. -Lovely. Thanks.

Green tea. Agave syrup.

-A great system. -Everything should be perfect.

-It will be. It'll be absolutely perfect. -Okay, good.

-Did you have something on your mind? -No, I'm not going to tell-- Okay.

Something else is going to be perfect.

Your bachelor party.

Tomorrow, a car will pick you up. We're going to a cabin in…

Hessdalen.

What?

Board games, friends, sing-alongs, shenanigans, quizzes…

-Tomorrow? Is it-- -Yes, and we'll stay the weekend.

You'll love it. I go every summer.

Then there are the Hessdalen lights. That's a bit--

-The Hessdalen lights. -Yeah.

Maybe we'll solve the mystery. I don't know.

-Is that right, guys? -Hi!

-Hi, Pelle. -Hi.

-What are we discussing? -This guy's bachelor party.

-What? -Oh yeah! Looking forward to it.

I can't have a bachelor party this weekend, Audun.

I can't.

No! Is that true? That's a shame. So it'll just be the two of us?

I've been trying to get this deal for how many years?

-Six. -Six.

I can't go drinking in the middle of it. I mean…

I appreciate the thought. Love it.

But this is the first time I'm doing something on my own.

-Kasper Kielland can change my life-- -It's Kasper Kielland.

Kasper Kielland.

Who's that?

-Shit. Okay, this is happening. -You've got this.

-We know you've got this. -Pulse. Wow!

-Good pulse? -You've got this.

Go get him.

Okay, time to kick ass.

As you can see, or will see,

Sharp's quantitative methods

generally outperform conventional investment methods.

-Especially when-- -Yeah, buddy.

A quick time-out. We're really far under the hood now.

So if you just pull your little head out, we'll see the car.

The car! Right, Kasper Kielland. You're referring to--

Isn't that obvious? All of it. A bit more punch, flashier,

a bit more sex in your face so it comes to life. It's dry.

Right. Ouch. That's…

-Go on. -Turn around for a sec, buddy.

-And cover your ears. -Okay.

-Kasper. -I want Tom Cruise.

Not Rain Man. He's a bit limited.

-No, give me two minutes. -Ten seconds.

Keep going!

-What? -Go!

Go. With flash.

You want flashy, here's flashy.

Okay, thanks.

Or… I'm not done, but… maybe that's enough?

-Should I go after him? -What do you think?

Yeah, I probably should.

Kasper Kielland. Excuse me.

-Hi. -There you fucking are again.

I get that this was a bit basic--

-Really basic. -I wanted to explain--

I got that. I respect that you want to play with the big boys.

-Absolutely. -One little problem.

I don't know who the fuck you are.

I can't let you invest my money.

-No… -You see how that would be weird?

No, I…

I mean, a PowerPoint? Fucking hell.

You know who came to the last pitch I was at?

Listen.

Right, Kygo. To do shots with the guys.

Slammed them down. That tickles your balls.

Because it's an experience.

-It's at least something, not just air. -No.

They're not messing with me. And the less they mess with me,

the less they'll mess with my money.

-Got it, Herman? -Sebastian.

That's what I said. Don't mess with me.

-It's very simple. Goodbye. -Absolutely.

I have an experience… for you.

-Audun? -How did it go?

It has to be the best bachelor party ever.

Yes!

Fuck.

Chill. Okay, how did it go?

It went amazingly well.

It was okay.

We didn't completely land…

Oh no, sweetie.

No, it's normal. I have a plan.

Imagine a small plane descending, there's some turbulence and…

-Turbulence. -…wind. It's fine.

-I have a plan. -A plane plan.

Yeah, but everything's-- Josefine?

What is this…

-What is it? -Yeah.

That… Come here.

Your mom came by with some things and some stuff.

A bit of inspiration for the wedding.

-Nothing cringey. -Peek-a-boo!

-No. -And this thing.

Right. It's exactly those kinds of things I don't…

Okay, but listen to this.

"With their unique tactic, 'what time is it?',

best friends Mikkel Stegger and Sebastian Borgnes qualify…"

Who's that?

-That's me. -That's you.

"…for the Laser Tag World Championship."

Why have I not heard of this or him? Who is he? Where is he?

He…

He's probably still hanging out at the laser tag club.

He… Yeah.

BACHELOR PARTY + ACTIVITY

What are you doing?

I forgot to tell you. The bachelor party is this weekend.

-What? -Yeah.

-No. For you? -Yeah.

Yeah, sweetie! This is what I'm talking about.

You need this. Go out, drink, party, be with friends.

-I just need to gather my thoughts. -About?

About your own bachelor party?

Yeah, or just brainstorm some ideas, plan the whole weekend.

I don't want any surprises. I don't think that's…

Try to have some fun too.

It'll be fun. Of course. Super fun.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

It has to be fun.

I have a plan, so…

It has to be fun.

-Did you see the list I sent you? -Yeah.

The list with dick balloons, jelly shots, tikka masala--

-Yes. -Hey, don't think about it anymore.

Relax. I've got this. I've thought it through.

Everything is set. Lean back.

He wants his balls tickled. That's the only thing he said.

I know how to tickle balls.

I mean, look at this.

Can you imagine anything ball related that it can't do?

Picture--

Just tell me where to tickle, and I'm going in.

But I'm going to tickle him somehow.

-During-- -Yeah, stop thinking about it.

Oh, hi.

Hey, boys!

-Oh my… -Hi.

-Good to see you. -Hi.

-Hi, Pelle. You know the plan, right? -Yeah, boss.

We're partying with a guy until he buys a subscription.

What? No, that's-- Okay, no.

Or-- That's close enough. I need Kasper to have fun.

Okay? So it's good if you can say some nice things about me,

so he'll think, "He…"

-"He." -Absolutely.

Yeah, please do.

Yes.

-Bachelor party on three. -Okay.

-One, two, three… -Bachelor party.

What? No…

What?

It's bachelor party time! Look at these guys!

That's a bunch of cock rockets, I can see that right away.

Yeah. Kasper. Audun. Pelle.

-People are still called "Pelle"? -Yes.

Cool car.

Thank you.

This is a custom body from head to toe. But that's not even the sickest part.

-The sickest part happens under here. -Under? That's…

-Under here. Buddy. -Yeah.

It's an insane union

of some pretty brilliant engineering and some metal.

With only one goal… To fist fuck Tesla off the track!

Check this out. Fucknuts!

I feel it every time! It tickles!

This is one of a fucking kind.

Is that a flux capacitor?

Yeah. Hands off, Stretch.

-I've only seen pictures. -Now you've seen a real one.

Now I'm happy again. Okay.

You can go put that on. My contribution to the party.

-Is this for me? -And no one else. No one else got one.

-How kind. -Yeah.

Okay, shots?

-Shots? -Thank you.

Shots? Are you ready?

This is pretty promising, right? Brings gifts and…

Mikkel?

-This must pull a lot of women. -Not wrong. This one pulls too.

No, no, no…

Sebbe!

Buddy!

Yeah. It's a pleasure…

-Yeah. -Look at that.

-He's a bear. -Come on.

Look, someone is ready to party.

Yeah, a little bear cub. Not bad.

Just don't get a boner in there.

What do you mean?

Where did that come from?

-You've heard the boner story, right? -I don't think so.

-I haven't told it. -You haven't told it?

-No, it's-- -What's funny about it--

You know what? I'm sure Sebastian has an awesome boner.

Just show us.

-Or tell the story? -Should we get going?

-I think we'll get to hear it. -No, later.

Come with me and you can tell the story. It's interesting.

-Okay. -Get in.

-I'll just go. -Sure.

-See you. -Yeah.

-So, Sebbe… -No.

I've rewritten some old hits, so I'm thinking sing-alongs.

Why did you invite Mikkel? How did you know about him?

-Josefine said-- -Josefine?

Josefine told you?

That buddy of yours.

-Congratulations. He's really fun. -Yeah.

Come on!

Really fun.

-Hessdalen on three. -Yeah!

Hessdalen!

Stine?

Oh no.

We'll race on to question 27.

What is the only thing Sebastian orders at McDonald's?

Pelle?

A double hot dog in a bun. Potato flatbread. Bun.

-What? -Kasper?

A McSuperfist, straight up your ass.

-Mikkel? -Probably a McFlurry.

But he picks out the yellow Non Stops.

-Yes! -No!

-That's right. Yes. -Very good.

We're racing on to question 28.

I have Ludo or bingo, or whatever we're playing.

-Everyone has to do a shot. -Yeah, I think so.

-Maybe it's time for some music too? -Yeah!

I've made a playlist where each song represents

a big moment from your childhood.

Oh no. I know exactly what we're playing.

-What? -Boner. This is for you.

Fuck yeah! Boner! Now we're talking! Someone's getting it!

You know what I do when I'm sad?

I get sad too sometimes.

-What? -It's true.

But then I say out loud to myself,

I say,

"Beep boop."

-"Beep boop"? -Yeah.

-"Beep boop"? -Yeah, you can do it too.

Then I repeat it again and again until the sadness is just…

gone.

-Hi, Pelle! -Hey, boss!

I really want to show you something.

Ready?

Yeah. Is that…

Check it out. Just look at it.

Straight from Japan. I haven't even had time to try it out.

Those things are totally next-level.

The only thing you do is turn it on here.

Flip the switch. Like that.

Then it syncs up to the vest, and you're good to go.

Yeah, look at that!

Yeah, okay. So you still play?

I play every week. I have to maintain the skills.

My opponents have gotten younger, but I kind of have a responsibility.

Why did you bring this?

I thought we could… play a few rounds.

-With the guys? -I don't know if--

It's not the same without my sidekick.

Okay. Mikkel, could you just… Could you do me a favor?

-Yeah, of course. -Could you just rein it in a bit?

And stop telling embarrassing stories.

Kasper thinks "boner" every time he sees me now. That's not…

Hey, we're all buddies.

-Kasper isn't a buddy, he's-- -Then what is he?

Just forget about it. Just…

Can you tone down the Mikkel Show this weekend?

Just a little?

-Tone it down a bit. -Sure.

Yeah, I get what you're saying.

-I'll turn it down. -Good.

-You're back! Well, Pee-pee. -I have…

POLICE

I'm so sorry I can't come, but say hi to the gang from me.

Yeah, but I have to hang up.

I have to see Georg.

Yeah. Bye.

Welcome to Hessdalen UFO Tours.

Okay, guys. We're leaving.

I'm sorry.

What's happening to the youth?

Goddamned UFO tourism.

Tickets can be purchased at the counter.

-Hi. -Are you building a fortress?

Yeah, look at this beauty.

Flexi 2000 Super Protection Bars.

-No one will get through that. -No.

But look at you. Honey, you're glowing. Are we getting close?

You didn't call the emergency number to see how far along I am, did you?

No.

This is the wildest thing you've ever seen.

-The bar cabinet is gone. -It's fucking gone.

They've gone too far now.

You can't accuse the Gullhella boys of everything that happens here.

It's not just me. They're stealing everywhere.

-They took a dryer at the camping spot. -A dryer?

Yes. And a waffle iron.

You have to remember that we adults talk about this stuff.

Yeah, you chatter away.

-Why didn't they take the beer? -That's just a diversion.

A diversion? They aren't that smart.

I was terrified they'd steal my new radio.

The latest model, I see.

It may have some bruises, but you know,

this radio can receive all communications for 30 miles.

You know it's illegal to listen to public comms?

That's not why I got it.

Hello? Hjørdis? Hjørdis, hello? Over.

Alpha 0-4 responding.

Alpha 3-1, you have to use call signals.

We've practiced this. Over.

Yeah, sorry. Alpha-Alpha calling Alpha. Over.

Just tell me what it is, Benjamin.

Yeah, I've received complaints from neighbors about the Gullhella boys.

Yeah. You hear?

Maybe I should take a look? I've almost--

Yeah, that could be good. That's good practice.

Do it, and I'll relieve you. Over.

Thank y--

What the actual fuck?

Yeah, my customers love that picture.

People like all the flashing, you know.

Then I say, "That's my daughter. Isn't she adorable?"

It lifts one's spirits to see your grin every day.

But it really does lift my spirits.

Oh yeah. The best shrimp girls are gathered again?

-God damn, Mikkel Mouse. -Kasp-meister.

Oh yeah!

Kasp. Kasp on the… Kaspy. Let's see…

-That's a bit much. -If we can…

-Are you getting there? -Sebster!

That was wild.

He gives the best high-fives. Proper slappers.

Okay, ladies. What fucked-up shit are we doing today?

-I'll tell you all about it. -Yeah.

I've arranged a private tour

at

the Hessdalen Observatory.

The Hessdalen Observatory.

What about the observatory, Audun?

The inexplicable lights that have been seen over the valley for years.

-You've heard of the Hessdalen Phenomenon? -Aliens?

What?

Yeah, that… That's kind of simple.

Yes, the lights may seem to move with a purpose,

but it could be a side effect of many things.

Stine Lyongo, the lead scientist, has a fun theory that I think

I'm leaning towards the most.

A bioluminescent reaction. It explains the lack of measurable mass.

That it's not--

Yeah, that's… You really got us good, Audun.

That's… Can we talk? Outside? For a minute?

-Just us? -Yeah.

What are you doing?

What happened to the list? The dick balloons?

Jelly shots? UFO tour? What's going on?

No, it's not UFO stuff. Relax.

This is pure science.

You'll love it.

This bachelor party isn't about me.

I promised Kasper some solid ball tickling.

You said balls would be tickled.

We have to come up with something drastic,

or he'll get into that one-of-a-kind wonder car and drive off. Then I'm fucked.

-I'm sorry-- -No, it's fine!

We just have to come up with something fun.

Something macho. Something…

Paintball! I thought we could play paintball.

-Yeah, not bad! -I've been planning it for a while.

Paintball. I remember the time I played paintball.

Yeah.

Okay, shall we go?

Now we're talking, Boner.

-Fuck! -What the fuck is happening?

What was that?

-Motherfucker! -No.

Wonder car, my ass!

-Are you okay? What's-- -Am I okay?

-No-- -Are you seriously asking?

-That's stupid. -Yeah.

Do you know how much it cost? Shit!

-A lot of money. It costs a lot of-- -Other side.

No, what the fuck just happened?

You said we had to do something drastic.

Shit, this is like The Walking Dead.

Hello? We're a group who'd like to play some paint.

Some paintball?

You know, we're not far from the observatory if we want the tour--

-Hey! -But no one wants to do that.

Can't we just start? Someone will come.

-Yeah. -It's open and everything.

We're going to pay first, right?

-Straight in, that's cool. -Kasper-roo.

-Sebbe! -Yeah. Oh shit.

Sorry. There aren't enough guns for everyone.

That's fine. You go ahead. I don't handle pain well.

Oops! Damn.

I'm okay.

-You're okay? -Yeah, it's fun.

-I get why you do it. -Does anyone else not know how this works?

It's not the same, but Sebbe and I were European laser tag champions.

Are you kidding?

-What? -Yeah, we were.

-That's right. -Yeah, it's true.

That was a very long time ago. Shall we play? Just get started…

-You and me versus Kasper and Audun? -Not the national team versus the rest.

-We can do dibs and seconds. -Dibs and… Is this a field trip?

I'm gathering all cell phones so we can focus on the fun.

-This is awesome. -Cover me, and I'll flank on the right.

"You, you, you." What about me? I want to go too.

I'll do my thing, then we'll talk. Okay?

No, I didn't mean--

Fucking shit. So I'm starting from scratch. I'm out?

Yeah.

-I shot Kasper. -What?

I didn't mean to. I just fired. There was so much action--

Oh my God, Audun! What--

Fuck this!

Okay, we just have to shoot Mikkel, then we'll reset and try again.

Next time, let Kasper shoot you.

Sit down.

Oh my God.

No arms or anything. Sit down where you were. Very good.

Okay, let's do it.

That's what you should have done. You should have hidden.

How can he shoot at both of us?

He's a sneaky bastard. He has no strategy,

so you take the flank, and we'll meet in the pit.

-What? -Just shoot, and I'll run around.

Come on!

What the fuck?

-I think I shot someone. -Good! You're supposed to!

-No, I think I shot someone. -What?

Holy shit. Shit.

-Why did you do this, Boner? -I thought it was one of you.

-Do I have a bleached mohawk? -The sun was in my eyes!

It must have been really bright.

Is he dead?

-Not from paint. -Hit the eye and it goes to the brain.

-Did you hit him in the eye? -He's not dead!

Look, he's breathing. Or…

Goddammit.

I don't even know you!

Shit, he was out to get me!

-Are you okay, Pelle? -Yeah, I'm fine.

-That's some zombie shit! -Will I become one?

No, they don't exist.

-So explain the glowing eyes. -A reflection, maybe.

Reflection? Seriously? Kasper, back me up.

-Pelle, you saw it. -Something's happening to my body.

It was something freaky.

We'll go to the cabin and never talk about this.

This didn't happen.

If anyone asks, we were there all day.

Why am I speaking English?

What's up?

It won't start. Pelle, do I have to press something?

-Just turn the key. -That usually works.

Yeah, that's not working.

Pelle, where's the engine?

What's going on?

The engine is gone.

Oh yeah. That makes sense.

How does that make sense?

The car won't start without an engine.

It can't be gone. It weighs a ton.

That's it for me, Boner. It was a great bachelor party.

Or an attempt at one. Give me my phone so I can call a cab

because I'm not doing this. Phone.

Yeah, it's gone.

What? Gone? What the fuck are you saying?

The box with the phones. Only the covers are left.

No!

Fuck. Audun, you said the Hessdalen Observatory was nearby.

It's just over there.

Okay, I suggest we go there because that's closer than the cabin.

My priority is to take care of you, or everyone, of course.

But you will always be my first--

-Quiet, Boner! Priorities. -You're mine.

The most important thing right now is to get the hell out of here.

Absolutely.

Wait. I'm not going through the woods unarmed.

What on earth do we have here?

Right. That's where we're at. Okay.

I saw your dad's profile in Dagens Næringsliv.

That was impressive.

They, and you, must be doing something right.

-Yeah. Me too? -Yeah, you. I thought so.

You have to mingle with the right people.

-That's the keyword. That's elementary. -How so? How…

There are two types of people. Taking notes?

There's candy and vegetables. Mikkel, for example.

He's cotton candy. You understand?

I thought you liked Mikkel.

I love cotton candy.

I could bathe in it. I could stick my dick in it.

-I don't understand-- -People are like cotton candy.

Low on nutrition, but tasty.

You can munch on it and spit it back out. Understand?

The key thing, Boner, is that if you're going to be a big, strong bear,

you need a balanced diet.

Yeah. Because you are what you eat.

-Correct, Boner! Now we're getting it! -Yeah, of course.

-But we can't just eat boiled potatoes. -No.

-What do we need? -Broth.

-Spice. -Spice. Absolutely. I can be spicy.

Yeah, but we don't want to put the spices in the candy bag, right?

Yeah…

We're here.

It's so crowded here, Boner.

But we were supposed to get a tour, so someone has to come.

-I don't get it. -Oh God. That could take forever.

So we're just going to break in then?

As long as we don't take or break anything,

it's not technically a break-in.

Yeah, that really makes sense.

THE HESSDALEN OBSERVATORY

See? We're being invited in! Who's coming with me? Kasper?

No, Kasper will pass. But Boner is really keen.

-Of course. Absolutely. I'll-- -I'll take that so Pelle has protection.

That's perfect. You watch the outside, and we'll check the inside.

-Yup. -And let us know if anyone shows up.

Wait.

What's your plan? Do you even have a plan?

-Find a phone, call for help, then-- -That's…

That's not a dumb plan.

No.

But be careful. We don't know what's in here.

Don't be such a wimp.

We're not kids anymore.

I just had déjà vu. Proper déjà vu.

You remember qualifying for the championship in Helsinki?

-Yeah. -That was so cool.

Mikkel.

Can you stop being so

cotton candy? For two seconds?

We need to focus here.

Cotton candy?

It's… It's fascinating, actually.

This was the largest construction project in Trøndelag at the time.

And not just to observe the phenomenon.

All telecommunications in the valley go through that dome.

Fascinating. I'll remember that.

Don't tell me more.

What kind of place is this?

-See if you find any phones or… -Yeah.

-Wasn't Pelle supposed to get one? -What? These?

Whoa! No, that's okay.

-That's okay. -He said it's okay, so I guess it is.

-Hey, we can-- -We'll wait and see who comes out.

No dial tone.

This looks like communication stuff. Do you think this… No.

It's turned off. It doesn't work.

What is that?

The light phenomenon Audun was talking about.

That's Stine Lyongo!

You can tell us. You don't have to shout it to her.

-Bingo. Phone. -What? Yes.

We weren't going to break in.

"If we don't break anything, we're not breaking in."

I think it looks fine.

-Hessdalen police station. -Hi. This is Mikkel Stegger.

We're in the woods, at the observatory.

The observatory? What can I help you with? Have things gone missing there too?

No, we bumped into some guy.

I don't know if it was an alien thing or something supernatural.

An alien thing? You don't say?

Yeah, it was nuts. His eyes were glowing. It was nuts!

Just forget the thing about the eyes.

What my friend is trying to say--

Excuse me.

How many dipshits are up there right now?

-Let me talk to Stine. -Stine?

Stine's not here.

-Is that the paintball guy? -What's he doing here?

The guy with the hideous mullet.

-How can he look like that? -We have to warn them.

No.

What we have to do is stay here and shut up.

I'm sick of hearing about Martians in Hessdalen.

-Newsflash. They don't exist. Stop it. -No!

-We have to signal them. -No, we'll stay here.

-What was that? -I messed up.

-What? -Visitors!

-Is help coming? -No, it's the guy you shot in the face.

It wasn't on purpose!

-The sun was bright and-- -He's here to get revenge!

-What the fuck? -Oh shit.

Let's hide here.

I've checked. It's locked. Think of something else.

-Come on, go! -Wait, I'm not--

-Sorry. -Fuck, Mikkel…

Throw him into the basement with the others.

What the fuck was that?

What the fuck?

He was dead, right?

I assume so, yes.

-Go down and check. -Hide!

-I'm coming! -No room!

-I'm not staying with a corpse! -Act like one!

-No! -Try!

Fuck!

What the fuck?

There's just a rat here.

Did you check the cabin?

Yeah. It was completely empty.

Did you look anywhere else?

Does it matter? There are plenty to choose from.

Get in touch with the others. Someone has seen them.

They've been to the paintball lot, beat one of us up, and ran off.

Lock the valley down. Find them!

Seb?

What the fucking hell was that?

-What's happening? -They're running?

Not much leg strength. What's going on?

-Are you okay? What happened? -The paintball guy was there.

His eyes glowed, like I said. It's definitely some alien shit.

-Not zombies? -No.

Okay, that's a bit much. Why would they come here?

-I don't know. -No.

Seriously. It was like they communicated with some sort of telepathy.

-Yeah, weird. -It was… weird.

Seb, you saw it. Back me up here. With what happened.

No, I didn't see anything like that.

No?

We called the police,

but he was talking about aliens, so they're not coming.

We'll have to continue on foot and hope we'll find some help.

-What was that? -Don't ruin this.

We can still save the weekend. I promised Kasper an experience.

-We'll just… -What are you on about?

No! Let's keep cool heads and just continue. Please.

You seriously want to continue the party after seeing a basement full of corpses?

-Huh? Corpses? -Yeah, dead people.

I know what they are. What's he talking about?

Audun, you know a bit about this.

-I don't want to take sides. -Oh my God.

Boner, a basement full of corpses?

-No! -No?

Not full of corpses.

Okay, half full? A bit full?

-Yes. -Yes?

-What's happening to this place? -It's aliens!

Shut up, cotton candy, this is getting weird.

-The adults are talking. -Guys…

If I was bitten by an alien, how does that work?

-Do I become an alien? -No.

Hi, Stine. I don't know what happened. The engine just stopped halfway up.

Let me take a look. I know a thing or two about engines.

That's great. Guys, let's get back on the bus. Come on!

-We have to help them. -No, wait!

What the hell…

-What the fuck was that? -Aliens.

Holy shit. What did I tell you? Aliens.

That's a bit much to deal with right now, Mikkel.

-I just had déjà vu. -No, that's something else, Pelle.

Oh my God.

To the right!

-There too! -How many are there?

Hi, fellas.

It's a good thing we found you.

It can be dangerous out here.

Follow in our footsteps.

Need to get you home before it gets messy out here.

-Does anyone understand him? -No. It's getting real hillbilly.

Hey! Don't take another step!

-Take a step back, you moron. -I'll shoot you in the dick!

Take position! Audun, right. Kasper, left.

-Damn! -Wait.

Wait.

Come back! Okay, Audun. Shoot!

Yeah, let's run! Come on!

It's… aliens.

Run!

The last number is eight. One person has seven correct numbers.

Eleven. The number is eleven.

That's weird. Four coffee makers.

It was aliens. You didn't believe us, but that's what it was.

Hello. Good day. Or good afternoon.

I know it sounds completely nuts, but it's actually true.

-This whole thing. -Yeah, it's true.

I assume you're the guys I spoke to on the phone earlier.

And this is happening at the observatory?

Yes. Everywhere.

First at the paintball lot, then the observatory,

and then in the woods. Twice in the woods. All of that.

-It's a space invasion! -Paintball? At Gullhella Paintball?

-Yes. -Was one of the twins there?

-Twins. They're twins. -Right.

I was sure it was the guy we beat up.

-Beat up? -When Sebastian shot him with a paintball.

-The sun was bright. -He snapped.

He attacked us and was totally rabid. Monster style.

Rabid. Monster style. Did I understand that correctly?

-Yes. -No.

-What are you-- -That's it.

-She's writing it down. -That's what happened.

I can hear you even if you whisper. Sit down, boys.

I know life can be hard.

-Yes. -But this isn't the way to go, boys.

Drugs are a black hole.

Hallucinations. Losing your sense of reality.

No, this is getting out of hand.

We're not kidding! What's happening here is crazy.

It's the Hessdalen lights, the phenomenon going on in your crazy town!

We don't have town status. We're actually a valley.

And I have a suggestion. I'm going to call my colleague.

He was going to Gullhella, so I'll check if he's seen anything.

Yeah. Wait a second. Maybe we shouldn't do that.

What if he's… possessed?

I seriously doubt that.

-What are you doing? -Seeing if she's possessed.

She's pregnant. You don't know what it'll do to the baby.

Alpha 3-1, this Alpha 0-4. Over.

Alpha 3-1 responding. Over.

Wow.

I have some guys here who claim to have shot and beaten

one of the Gullhella boys with a paintball gun.

Does that correspond with what you were checking out?

-Those are the consequences… -They're…

Strictly speaking, they're armed.

Ish. Over.

That sounds like them. Can you hold them until I get there? Over.

If you were an alien, you'd explode all over.

Yeah, I'll manage. Over and out.

Nothing happens if you're not an alien!

But this-- It--

Does anyone here want some cocoa?

There. It's in here, boys. Help yourselves to cookies and cocoa.

-Here? -Yeah.

Is it…

Hey! What the fuck is going on?

Sorry. You just have to stay here.

My colleague is coming. We can talk when he gets here.

Can we still have cocoa?

I don't like being alone in the woods! No!

Shit!

-Are they after you? -No, I don't think so.

Shit, Audun. Those eyes, they were green.

They were fucking green. They glowed. You said aliens didn't exist.

No, I said there was no reason to think they do.

But yeah, it was something.

But it could have been a parasite, like…

What?!

Let's pull ourselves together now and keep our heads cool.

-And we'll stay low. -Yes.

Then they won't see us.

Oh God. Okay. So we'll go… that way.

No!

-No! -Fuck! Help me!

Shoo!

Fuck! Fucking shit!

You think the others got away?

I don't know. Maybe. I hope so.

What are you doing?

Trying to tune the settings.

See if I can turn up the intensity of the beam.

What?

That whole action hero thing of yours. Don't you ever get tired of it?

No, I'm just trying to deal with the situation.

But what do you think will happen?

You think you're going to run around like John Wick?

No.

I don't know, Seb. Maybe I will. Maybe we'll have to.

As soon as you show up, it's "Boner," and it's a fucking--

Space invasion? Are you going to blame me for that too?

Try not to enjoy it so much.

But think about it. Right?

All that laser tag training,

and now we get the chance to strike back at a space invasion.

Fifteen-year-old Seb would have wet himself.

Why are you so obsessed with that time?

I'm not obsessed with it. What's your problem?

I came to celebrate an old buddy. Cruise down memory lane and have fun.

Just reminisce. Have you ever seen anyone this grumpy?

Of course I'm grumpy!

Do you know how rare it is for Kasper to come along on something like this?

All I needed was to make a good impression.

But no. Here you are. Mikkel fucking Stegger. Fucking great.

You're kidding.

-What? -Is all of this because of Kasper?

Is this whole weekend about work?

I'm sorry that I, for once,

am trying to be the center of my own life instead of running around

like a fucking wannabe kindergarten teacher.

Oh nice. You know what?

It's really awesome. I'm living the dream, Seb.

Every day, I can play as much laser tag as I want to.

Slushies… I can have it all. Mix colors. I don't have to pay a penny.

And you know what? I'm looked up to and adored for who I am.

I checked your Facebook. You went to Preben's birthday.

So what? A cool birthday party.

He's 12!

Yeah, 12 and fucking awesome!

Preben is great. He lives in the present and loves life.

You could learn from Preben.

How adult is it to spend your bachelor party sucking dick?

I don't mind sucking dick.

If Kasper had three dicks, I'd line 'em up and work through the line…

If I could have three seconds where you didn't steal the spotlight.

You mean the massive spotlight at the worst bachelor party ever?

Why don't you just fuck off? No one wants you here anyway.

Except your girlfriend, who begged me to come.

Because she knows something's fucked in your head.

-You know what? Fuck you! -Fuck you too. Right in your rat face!

My colleague is back, so you can come out if it's okay with you.

-It's your duty to catch them. -It's your duty…

Shit, there they are. Those are the guys that attacked me!

Wait a second!

Let's calm down.

You two come with me, and we'll--

Not again!

I still don't get it!

Hey, Joe Exotic.

Chill out.

Fuck.

-What's going on here? -I told you.

Yeah, that nonsense about UFOs and lights and all that?

Yup.

You said you were chased by monsters.

People seem to react differently to the lights.

-We haven't mapped it out. -And I'm normal.

-Fuck! -Can you chill with the shooting?

I'm going to question him, so calm down.

-You're going to talk him to death? -I'm going to ask questions.

I'm parking you right now. And I'm parking you.

This is my police station, and I'll handle the questioning here.

Is there a light… inside him?

-Yeah. -…inside you?

Yes.

Darn it.

And the light inside us is

an intergalactic signal flare.

Bullshit. Signal flares don't kill, so that doesn't make any sense.

-You can kill someone with one. -No.

That wasn't the point I was making.

I'm just saying that if you're going to… I've seen people use signal flares--

What do you mean, "kill"?

The observatory basement was full of corpses.

And you choose to tell me this now?

-I could have said it before-- -Oh, could you?

-I was tired-- -Yeah, poor thing.

I have no excuse.

-Who are you calling? -The police.

But you're the police.

Bigger police.

I have no signal.

Damn it.

-Also dead. -What?

-Game over, kid. -Thanks, buddy.

What do we do now?

What--

Hjørdis…

-Put it down! -Hjørdis…

-Is it you, Benjamin? -Yes.

How are you?

How did I get to the office?

I was talking to you on the radio,

and then I was going to Gullhella.

I shouldn't have sent you up there.

You've been a bit…

gone.

I vaguely remember it. I…

I was standing on a barrier.

We stopped cars leaving the valley. We…

Hjørdis. They're taking everyone.

They're taking everyone!

Where are you taking us?!

I think we're driving up the hill.

Funny that you should say something because no one asked for your opinion.

Dumbass.

He's just trying to help.

Then he can take his help, Audun,

and shove it hard up his little ass.

Because it's his fault!

If he hadn't rattled around the woods like a porcupine,

fucking up and dragging those green lumps along,

we'd be safe now.

Everything would be fine.

He can't help that they're after us.

Motherfucker!

-Oh dear. -Now we're-- Don't!

-Wow! -I'll touch that.

-Not you. -No, absolutely not.

-It's going… -That was heavy.

I give up. I fucking give up.

It's going to be okay.

No, it's not okay. Don't be so stupid. Don't say it's okay.

Hey, we're going to get out of this.

Won't we? We owe it to everyone back home, everyone we love.

Your best friend, or all of them, if you have more than one.

I don't have any friends, Pelle.

What?

Of course you do. Two of them are sitting right here.

It's okay. We're going to get out of this.

I've been in worse situations.

Worse than this? That's fucking…

It's all going to be okay.

Seb, I have a bag full of laser tag stuff. Vests, guns, everything.

It's in the back of Pelle's car.

Let's fight back.

The thing is, we need a plan.

We have to save the guys.

And we have to imagine

that they've been caught and taken to where one becomes one of…

those.

Yeah.

Before we know where they are, we can't do anything.

A plan, okay.

Wait a second.

Let's make a plan.

What is that?

This was marked at the observatory.

It's an old mining system.

It's near Gullhella Paintball.

Do you have a plan?

I have a sketch of a plan. Do you have a place to stay?

Where… I don't know…

A fortress, a place with bars, or somewhere?

Goddammit…

Yeah.

Hi, sweetie.

-He's okay. -Thank goodness.

-What's going on? -We need help.

-People around here… -…have been taken over by aliens.

Are you kidding? Seriously?

-Seriously? -Does your gate work?

-Work? I installed it. -Do you have the shortwave radio?

Yeah, who are we contacting?

The police, the army, the Salvation Army. Whoever answers.

-Take care of him. -Yeah.

For safety reasons, I have to strongly advise against this.

Can't you just wait here for help?

-No. Kasper and Audun need us. -Yeah. And Pelle.

And Pelle. Yeah.

In case they come…

Yeah, shoot. Shoot them.

Yeah, you just turn on--

I think I can handle a laser gun.

But I'm ordering you to stay alive.

-That's the plan. -Yeah, it is.

I mean it.

-Yes. -Yes, absolutely.

Promise.

Hey…

I…

Or…

-Earlier… -Yeah.

-I… You understand? -It was like--

We were both emotional, and when two people are emotional,

it gets emotional.

-Yeah, I get it. -With emotions and…

But hey, can we just take a moment here

and take in the fact that we're sitting in a police car,

about to shoot aliens with laser guns?

-That's pretty cool. -Fuck yeah, it's cool!

-We have to wear seat belts. -Seat belt on.

Okay, so the bag with the guns and vests is in the car.

Or… Pelle's thing.

Yeah, it's in the back.

We need a plan.

I'm thinking if I distract them, you can run to the car and find the bag.

-You want me to run out there? -Yeah.

You run and find the bag.

-What the fuck? -It's your bachelor party.

-So I have to die? Is that… -No, I'm giving you the spotlight.

But how will you distract them? Be specific, for once.

-Police car. -Got it.

Get going.

Oh shit.

Fuck.

How good was that?

You can't just hit them!

Those are real people. They're just possessed.

-Holy shit! -They don't look too bad.

I don't understand the manual.

Kinda like Starship Troopers, right?

-It's in Japanese. -You'll manage.

The round button that says "lights out."

Yeah?

-Don't touch it. -Why?

-Oh shit. -Yeah.

We have to go through the paintball lot and to high ground.

He looks really confident.

With good reason.

The entire welcoming committee.

Watch out! They're throwing things!

-We've got them. -There are so many!

Now we have them. Fucking glowies.

-"Glowies"? -You haven't seen it? Their eyes glow.

Seb!

Fuck.

-Seb, I got it in my mouth. -Are you okay?

Mikkel!

-The guns aren't working! -Goddammit!

Finally.

Come on, Seb.

It's like a killstreak or something.

We have to go.

Look how ugly they are!

-I have a plan. -Okay.

-Pedal to the metal. -That's not a plan!

-Why the fuck are you running away? -A diversion.

We're a team, so you can't run away. You always run away!

Adapt to the situation.

No, this won't work.

Shit, there are so fucking many.

Fuck, we don't have a plan! We don't have time to run around!

Time?

-Time! What time is it? -I don't fucking know! Why?

Seb, what time is it?

It's been 15 fucking years. We don't stand a chance. Are you nuts?

Quarter to three!

Ten to three!

Half past one!

Come on!

-Fuck! -Shoot!

Those are real guns!

What the fuck?

Shit! Oh my God!

-What's that? -I don't know!

-What does it do? -No idea!

Throw!

That was badass!

-Pew Jackman! -Oh shit! Fucking Sean Beam!

-Aragorn! -Legolas!

Gimli! Yeah!

Hey, guys. Let's chill out and deal with this like adults.

What the fuck?

Wait! I have a better plan.

-Stay focused, guys. -There are washing machines here.

Let's try not to get too stressed.

No!

Wait, did that person just die?

-No. -No?

No! Go away!

-In here. -No, thanks.

No! Hey, fucknut!

That…

No! That's my car! Let go!

Nasty people! There are no fucking legal grounds for this!

-Hertzberg War Academy? -That's right.

Oh my God. Thank goodness.

This is Hjørdis Skolem from Hessdalen police station.

We need immediate, armed assistance.

-In Hessdalen? -Yes, in Hessdalen.

Are you surrounded by aliens or something?

Hey, we have more stuff going on here than just being surrounded by UFO people.

But if it so happens that we actually are surrounded by aliens,

would you be interested in coming?

Goddamned fucking alien shit!

There, there, sweetie. You want some warm milk?

No, I don't want warm milk!

You used to want that when you were upset.

Can you just stop it?

I needed a dad when I was five!

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen!

I don't need you anymore!

I think he's trying--

Please, don't start with that. You don't know what you're talking about,

and you don't know how many chances I've given him.

The only thing he cared about when I was a kid

was traveling around and starting moronic businesses.

Then he calls me now

and wants to move here and be with me and the baby and be a granddad.

And what happens? This.

He sets the world record for crazy businesses.

I like his shop.

It's the same thing again and again.

-The radio was a good thought. -The radio? What?

Georg always calls me at the office

because you don't pick up when he calls,

so he bought it so he could speak to you via the radio.

Oh my God. What a bunch.

They should have been here ages ago, hours ago.

What do they think they're doing?

Unbelievable.

What's going on?

Should we maybe lower those bars?

Yeah. Maybe…

Maybe that's for the best.

The fuse blew.

Can't you pay people to help you out?

There's nothing wrong with my handicraft. This building is old.

I'll be right back.

I hope you're ready for a kids' party.

Oh God.

No! Fucking hell!

God fucking damn it! Turn on the lights!

Georg!

Welcome to Hessdalen UFO Tours…

Turn the key! Turn it!

Motherfucker!

What is this?

It's an abandoned coal mine.

What's that smell? It smells weird.

That's a spaceship.

No, that can't be a spaceship.

Tumble dryer. A big tumble dryer.

Hi. Pelle.

Hey, Curly! What's going on?

Can you say something?

Damn it. He won't say anything.

Stine?

Shit.

No!

-Goddamn! -Oh God!

-Did you see where he went? -No.

What a wild place.

Let's go in here.

That's the fucking engine.

Audun, there's the engine. They took the engine.

One more.

-No! -No!

Shit! No, no way!

We have a problem.

I've never seen an engine produce this much energy.

But not enough. It's still not enough. We'll take that one.

No! I can get you more!

I can get you more!

Holy shit.

That's my engine. It's mine, you took it.

Anyway, what you're doing here, you need energy for it, right?

Lots of energy. Think. A little thought experiment.

Think about how much energy one engine provided.

What if I told you

I could get ten of them?

I can get 20. I have a fleet. I can get you so much energy,

it'll be totally insane.

All you have to do,

or maybe could do…

is to let us go.

What makes you think I'll let a single skin bag go?

No.

That's a good point. We can negotiate too. Negotiate!

If you take them, you could let me go.

-What? -Who are "they"?

Did he point at us?

Okay, what'll happen now, is that I have to call my people.

Do you have a phone or something in his cave?

Cute.

A dumpster with buttons.

Call your people.

Get the engines

or die.

Yup. Noted.

I'm ready. One, two…

No, wait. He has a plan. Of course he has a plan.

-To let them die and save himself. -No, he's calling for help.

Get your head out of Kasper's ass and blast some aliens with me.

I'm going on three. You're either with me or not.

-Wait. -They don't know we're coming.

One, two, three!

You're really loud, guys.

Yeah, that… It's crowded here.

What the fuck?

-Are you okay? -We came to save you.

We heard. Very kind.

Sebastian?

-Oh no! -No!

No, don't take him! Please, don't take him!

Please!

Hey! Please, don't take him!

-Audun! -Sebastian.

No.

Fuck.

Audun?

Audun, are you okay?

We should have stayed with Hjørdis.

How did he do this?

-Hjørdis! -I can't do it!

Shoot!

Hjørdis! Are you okay?

You're kidding me.

Hjørdis!

Hjørdis!

Hjørdis!

Go! Fuck!

Hjørdis!

I'll tell you something.

I have swollen feet, acid reflux,

I've been nauseated my entire fucking pregnancy,

and now my water fucking broke.

Come on.

Hello?

Nothing there. Okay.

If we can just get the laser guns, we can shoot our way out of here.

Maybe we can rush them.

Seb, are you with me?

I've fucked everything up.

No, it's okay. Let's just get those laser guns.

It's all my fault.

It's okay. Because I know that you know what we'll do.

Mikkel, I have nothing.

I have no plans, no tactics, nothing.

Look around.

It's done.

It's over. No.

Sorry.

It's over.

I get why you ditched me.

When we were kids.

It's like you said. I'm just a wannabe kindergarten teacher.

Who bumbles around

and drinks slushies every day.

When I heard you were getting married and were going to…

That you'd found your soulmate.

And then I got invited to your bachelor party and…

I don't know, I thought that maybe things

would be a bit different.

That I would see my best friend again.

I…

You just disappeared.

I was always number two with you, Mikkel.

I was always just that "other guy."

-Because you were… -Yeah.

I just wanted

to be seen too.

Damn it, Seb. I…

I just wish you had said something.

Do you still pee blue?

Oh yeah.

I do.

Fuck, I miss you, buddy.

Same.

Beep boop.

-Beep boop. -Yeah.

Keep going.

-Beep boop. -Beep boop.

Just like that.

One more.

What's going on?

Are you okay? Have you lost it?

Hey…

What's up? I see a plan.

Do you have a plan?

Maybe.

-Hey, Kasper! -I'm a little busy, Boner.

I was just thinking about what you said at the pub.

About the engine.

No, I need a few words with him.

Thank you very much.

Okay, thanks.

Yeah, I thought you said this engine was one of a kind.

Shut up about that. Can that stay between the two of us?

Yeah, if you shut up about that,

I'll make sure to free you.

I'll say I need you to fix the engine or something,

and then I'll improvise the rest.

-I don't know. -You have to save the others too.

-Seriously? -Yeah.

It'll be more than hard enough getting me and you out of here.

I just… It…

Hey. That little hedge fund of yours.

What was it? You know what? I think you can come work for me.

Couldn't you? Work for me?

-You mean that? -I do.

The Kielland stew needs more flavor,

and right now you're pure sriracha, in my opinion.

Boner, are you in?

-Sounds really good. -Great. Then we're good to go.

-I just have one small problem. -We'll fix it.

I really love cotton candy.

What did you just do?

What…

…the fuck?

Master!

We're going home.

Oh my God!

What do we do, Seb?

-We were supposed to press it. -I know.

-Can you make it work? -No idea.

We have to try. I'll grab the vests.

-I'll distract him. -Yes, good! No, fuck…

-That way. -Yes. Yup.

Hey! Flubber!

Green, slimy bastard!

Can we talk about this?

Fucking shit! You little bastard!

Is that heavy too, goddammit?

Seb! Press the button!

Press the button, Seb!

It's not working!

The killstreak…

Mikkel.

Are you okay? Okay! Oh my God.

Why didn't you close your eyes?

-That can't be good for kids. -I agree.

-What was that? -We have to get out of here.

Get out of the way, you fat f…

lump.

Audun?

Get out! Run!

Wait! Audun!

Audun, come on!

-Someone has to hold him here. -No! Come!

-Get out! -No--

Run!

-What was that, Seb? -Go!

It's not working.

Focus now.

Boner?

That's you, right? I thought I heard you.

Don't mess with me. Then the thing isn't happening.

No!

Dad?

You want to take me to the maternity ward?

-Behave. -Sure.

You guys just go. I'll… I'll stay here and clean up a bit.

-Pelle, are you okay? -What happened?

Lights that just…

Up in the spaceship. Spaceship…

That way.

And they… collapsed.

-Is it over? -Oh God, I hope so.

3 MONTHS LATER

-Are you ready? -I'm ready.

It's going to be very, very intense.

I love intense.

You go right, I go left?

JOSEFINE & SEBASTIAN THANK YOU FOR CELEBRATING WITH US

Okay, guys. The most important thing is teamwork.

So don't go in there and try to be a hero or something.

Remember. Together, you can do anything.

All right! And have a plan.

Yeah. It's good to teach them early.

-Yeah. Some never learn. -No.

Not a bad start to your business, even if I'm your first customer.

Is this tax-deductible?

Can I finish my wedding? And we'll do laser tag business on Monday?

-Partner. -Partner.

Guys… Hi!

-This is so much fun! -Is it?

-Yes! -So much fun!

I didn't know weddings had laser guns.

No one told me. I learn something from you every day.

I shot a tiny boy right in the eye.

-I don't know-- -No.

Well? Do you think Audun would think this was okay?

Absolutely.

To Audun?

To Audun.

-To Audun. -Cheers.

But, guys…

Some guys in there are saying

they're the best laser tag team at this wedding.

What?

-So… -We can't have that.

No, we can't have that.

Sean Beam?

Pew Jackman?

Audun?

What people were saying about aliens in Hessdalen,

it was all true.

We're on board their spaceship, on our way to their home planet.

Do you know what time it is?

It's dead time.

Not that we're going to kill…

Like, time to kill, I mean.

That we… Kill time. I mean…

Subtitle translation by: Kristján Steinarsson